Before the video starts, I have two announcements: I'm gonna be traveling down to Birmingham's Insomnia between March 30th and April 2nd I'm also going to be showcasing some new merch like this! And this! And this!! (buy them plz) So if any of you bros will have come down and say hi you absolutely can, for the minimum price of 5 BILLION!!! 1% OFF! (too op plz fix) Also a second announcement. I now have a Twitter Link will be in the description I dedicated the first day the new account to harassing PewDiePie for a follow. That was a success. Now, we need is iCancer Australian Lesbian: Anyway with that all said and done. I hope you enjoy the video a looot *random Australian gibberish that only his kind can decipher* *Australian is angered* Fight Me! *ASOT intro* So there's been a lot going on on the YouTube scene recently and I've missed out a lot I am deeply sorry for that. I was making an incredibly long video Complaining about a video game that I voice-acted in. Moustache Guy: Maybe you should open your mouth and start talking. Pyro: The aliens are coming! We've been compromised!! Moustache Guy: Spit it out corporal! Pyro: Oh colonel- *Oscar material* With my first video officially back I thought it'd be best to Compile everything that's happened over the past month into one fat video "My mods are going to start banning people" So we all know that World-famous twitch streamer Ninja or as I like to call him Sodapoppin with his hair dyed blue I would actually like to take a moment to congratulate Sodapoppin for dyeing his hair blue and tricking the world into thinking He is actually a completely different person That is the master of disguise level of bamboozlary (is that a word?) have you guys seen the film The Master of Disguise? *pain* Don't watch it actually no, watch it, Avengers: Infinity War? GET OUTTA HERE! *gay shit* So Ninja actually managed to play Fortnite with Drake, which is pretty cool. Everyone likes Drake. I like Drake. He's a pretty nice guy. But the world isn't sunshine and rainbows children, because after this event Guess who climbed out the manhole to try and leech from the pie... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) "I'm here to talk to you about hair loss" ~iDubbbz~ I mean are you surprised really? nah no you're not so let's begin with Jake Paul first because he's got the least amount of receding hair or the most? I actually can't tell (me neither) so Jake Paul uploads a video "I DONATED 200,000 DOLLARS TO MY FAV TWITCH STREAMERS" *little chubby lesbian voice* insane reaction "WOO HOO!-" *Insert Ugly ass dab* And you've got Jake looking like a happy boy with his chin ready to fucking tear through that keyboard "With my massive fucking chin I can literally reach the fucking accelerator pedal" (Colossal) And what's this? Ninja? Is that Ninja in the thumbnail? discounted low nigra.mp4 Jake actually spends about 70% of the entire vlog just vlogging Nothing to do with Fortnite whatsoever And eventually he gets to the Fortnite, and he does the donation *Big man of money donating money for kids with cancer* Kiddo: *prgasm* Yo... Kiddo: *heavy breathing* Bro i just got Kiddo: That can't be real bro (nope, not one bit) Kiddo: There's no way that's real Kiddo: Yo, I gotta check if this is real (as if the site would prank him) Pyro: Oh wait, so it's not Ninja It's fucking Chance Sutton, the man that lives w-with him *Vine god gives money to his own roommate* *NFKRZ snort* The fuck is that logic? R e t a r d *make it rain on me Jakey daddy* *lesbian chuckle* Ah ye Jake, that's great You're a real hero Let's ignore the fact you take 10% or more of our total profit every single day and every single purchase And you leech off us until we're dead but haha you ga-gave me money? that you're probably gonna take back? ur a m a z i n g Logan Paul has also made the executive decision to create a Twitch channel. (Fuck off logan) . I'm so incredibly proud of him Thank You Logan. You are national hero- Mark: Respect... Mark: It's something that I feel has been lost lately *insert retarded laughter in the background* Mark: I even feel like the definition of respect Mark: Has been mud- Now the twitch community is (uhh) To say the least Because Logan Paul is gonna bring his toxic fanbase over to Twitch BUT NEVER FEAR BECAUSE ONE MAN IS GONNA STAND AGAINS'T THE DARKNESS, AND HIS NAME IS SUMMIT1G (Disabled Kermit voice) I don't think people should be upset about all Logan Paul on Twitch The amount of people he can bring over from YouTube can only be a good- a goo- *raspberry* Summit1g. I just want to say Thank you So much for your words of knowledge and inspiration The fact that you took Five minutes out of your day to NOT react to Family Guy "funny" moments To make this tweet God bless you. You ARE a national treasure- *man chased by FBI plays minecraft hunger games* Yeah, but for real though, I don't think it's that bad. I mean his fanbase aren't like terrible. They're just little little kids (kindergarten ones) Impressionable kids and they're only gonna be as bad as Logan is. Lo-Logan is like subpar serial kille- *White woman triggers everyone 2: Electric Boogaloo* Right, here's another story. That's just gonna Do you guys remember Nicole Arbour? She made such amazing videos like "Dear Fat People" She broke up with the top ten t-the-the Bald Facts Man The Bald Facts Man that is his name now, the Bald Facts Man I should go quite a lot. I hate for making the fat people video Fortunately I'm not fat so I could laugh at that, but then she made a video on depression And I actually am depressed so I found that quite offensive >:( her arguments for depression in the video are... "Hot garbage" Hot garbage thrown into an incinerator And then a man holds you over the incinerator and makes you inhale the smell of hot burning garbage and rubber *extreme retard alert (with a bit of dying in the inside)* "I might have laughed if I remembered how" So Nicole's basically pushing the agenda That if you are depressed it is your own entire fault And you should sit there in a corner and feel sorry for yourself I could see where she's coming from on the level that She is basically Harley Quinn; an insane megalomaniac sociopath But people do make crappy life decisions that can lead to depression I've done it many times, and I do think that equates to a specific amount of people But saying that that is all people and that is the reason why depression exists as a whole is Retarded And Nicole Arbour, you are retarded- *extreme retard alert* *again* Vaas: Did I ever tell you the definition- (You know the rest) *Exhibit F(aggot): Ricecum* Now I know that people in the Pyrocynical channel like me bullying children How about instead? I'll show you a Quite intelligent normal man Fighting an insane retard a couple days ago your boy, Mr. Prawn Crackers went ahead and uploaded an entire video on the animation channel Odd1sOut James: So do you guys watch any YouTube videos (and most of the kids did the same thing looking at me like I was weird) James: But one kid said "Ricegum" James: Ugh, ew (fucking gross) Ricefag: Okay what? Some just kid said "Ricegum", my (shit) name and this man said "Ew" as if it's like gross or- (yeah, you're fucking trash) Yeah, Ricecum because I had no idea what the word "Ew" meant Thank you for taking 20 seconds of the fucking video To explain the definition of "Ew" uh deez nutz gotem riceum You kinda see where the video is going Ricegum feels like he's taking the role of some audio description service For people that are blind Parody Ricefag: *takes breathes* Hey guys. Did you see my brand new Rolex? * T R I G G E R E D * Ricefag: 2 dudes are chillin in a hot tub (five feet apart cuz their not gay) Ricecunt: Random guy pops up. That random guy has black hair- So he'll play a clip from Odd1sOut and instead of like Actually reacting to it like Jinx™ level reacting you can't even do that Top Ten Anime Deaths (Number 3 will shock you) (oh really?) *Very sad (for some reason) (mate did you played TWD?)* "Yo, what the heck was that! So like, this guy!" "Swedish youtuber!" "Biggest YouTuber on the planet playing The Walking Dead!" "And-aaaand!" "And then he starts crying!" *the country of Vietnam is terribly sorry for helping create this piece of crap of an human being* *i'm not translating his death threats of fucking 13 year old* "Woah, you want to sit down and have a dialogue like gentleman?" "Nah fam, we about that Youtube Life! I either box you, or I do (uhh) a Diss Track" That's exactly what my fanbase wants, i'm not sure about yours, They might be a little bit older They might actually want a dialogue *Pro Police Investigation* Timothy (Who?) far cry 2 uganda warrior: "Ah shit. It burns like a mother when I piss." (Pyro) So out of the drama sphere there's been a video thats been doing rounds on youtube at the moment. Quite concerning. FC comedy episode two hungry children Emanuela comedy 2018 mark angel 2018 latest comedy 2018. (Quality title) Even though the video was made in 2017... Okay... But yeah, this video has basically appearing in everyone's advertisements for a short amount of time It's got 59 million views D-do you remember that video that was doing rounds? "Best sniper in lobby", and it was just fucking Peter Griffin with a sniper. "Don't even put effort into your videos, Just buy YouTube ad space that is the best way to succeed on this site" ~Pyrocynical~ So I thought we were going to give this video a look so we can get a first hand look at the quality control of YouTube's advertising management *Insert Baby Laugh here* (Yo Baby, CHILL on that laughing tho) Yeah, just a typical thing someone says hi to you what you go ah-ha A H - H A It's like they try to get a laugh soundtrack, but they were so incompetent at doing that so they just get a baby laughing for some reason You know when someone tells a really good joke, comedy preformence, a total sold-out show and there isn't an actual audience laughing or applauding It's just a single baby chuckling typical thing with comedy "Hey, it's me" "Racist Youtube Man" They've also got booking as well if you want to travel down to whatever country this is and go see 'em live I'm gonna do that actually they'll be in the next Logan Paul log. You got a ciggy bark bang? I wasn't invited Many of you may know that a youtuber quite recently was arrested and found guilty of hate speech i can't show you the video because i do value the safety of my channel and plus as well, i'm a total coward Basically, you have this beautiful Scottish gentlement and he said he wanted to get back at his girlfriend as a joke so he taught his dog stick out its paw to certain *And Not Family Friendly Content* and he actually got sent to court for it and he was found guilty and i think he could spend up to a year in jail or quite a heay fine it's quite ridiculous all in all it really makes you question free speech that a certain edgy joke could get you arrested but the real question is why wasn't the dog arrested (good question Pyro) beacause clearly he was the main orchestrate of the opperation (Oh no!) this poor man here was nothing but a liability to him the fault guy so he's going to jail while this dog living a carefree life frankly disgusting, and i won't allow it i didn't-i didn't have anything to make today so i wanna make a video and show a new abdorable little pug THEY WERE ALL DEAD and that's pretty much it for the video bros i hope you enjoyed smash a fat like and subscribe to the channel for daily vlogs and remember like i said i got a brand new Twitter give it a follow (don't) and also i'm appearing in Insomnia between there's gonna be some exclusive merches that isn't on the store page which at the moment, everything on the store page it-it-i-it's kinda sucks (AMAZING) to be honest Oh yes the top hat! That's The best one out there! thank you for watching guys god's bless, have a very safe journey through out life and i am the gobglegangalam (Translation: Poor White Man without Freedom) and iiii love books *New Fancy Outro* I'm tryna pose one last audio week and umm... Three trove days a week (Note: This guy is drunk and his mic is shit, translation might be inaccurate. But I'm not getting paid for this, so fuck it)
