Ellen: What's- what's happening? By the way, Ninja: Um, yeah.
Ellen: What's- what's happening? By the way, Ninja: So right now...
Ellen: No don't answer that Ellen: I have another question. Um... Ninja: Okay...
Ellen: I have another question. Um.. Ninja: I have an answer. Ellen: How much-how much money did, uhh, we make when we were playing and where's my cut? Ninja: The FU-- [Cuts to TTS] --DO YOU SAY, YOU LITTLE SH-- [Cuts to TTS] Pyro: So I wasn't actually gonna make a video today, I planned to relax, chill out and watch some of my favourite YouTube content which is Joker ASMR. [BASS]
*Le gun cocks heavily* *Le gun cocks heavily* Billy Mays: Instead of hearing music, you hear this! Pyro: But then I did what any borderline sociopath does, and check out YouTube's trending tab, and what is one of the first things I see? (Apart from a PewDiePie video.) *lol* Ellen DeGeneres and Ninja play ๐ortnite! [Thud] [Thud] หขสฐแตโฟแต: หขแตแถโฑแตแตแตแตสฐ Pyro: Now, a lot of you may know, uhh, when you combine mainstream media influences and online personalities, they- they don't really mesh very well. Ellen: How much-how much money did, uhh, we make when we were playing and where's my cut? Pyro: Now we all know that the Ellen show is a place where good and honest memes go to die, BUT hopefully, hopefully, This encounter with Ellen and Ninja, won't be as bad as Conan O'Brien and PewDiePie! Felix: Damn! [Both Screaming] *mfw when I get my first victory royale and troll a libtard get nae naed on* ๐ Conan: OH YEAH! Felix: Got 'em Conan: YEESSSSSSSS! Conan: YEESSSSSSSS! [Slow down]
*what the fuck is that handshake* *what the fuck is that handshake* Pyro: Now this entire event began by one of Ellen's staff dancing on stage and she just HAD to ask what that dance was. Ellen: Did a dance that I hadn't seen before, and I asked him what it was... *That moment when you think twice about whether you should've got the job at the coal factory or not.* So anyway, I asked what that dance was and he said it's called the "Orange Justice". Do you know that it- Yeah. Alright. So it's- a it's from a video game. Pyro: You can just hear the audience just saying like, 'No Ellen, no! >:(' 'Stay away from ๐ortnite. That's my child's game!' 'My seven-year-olds game!' '๐ Don't ๐ you ๐ dare ๐ tarnish ๐ it! ๐' 'I don't know, I haven't heard much about ๐ortnite, uhh, you dance in the game,' 'it's these things called, uhh, '๐๐ข๐ซ๐ ๐ข๐ง ๐๐ฎ๐๐ค๐ฌ'...' 'I'm-I'm quite uninformed.' Ellen: I assumed that ๐ortnite was a game about dancing and Twitch said: 'No, it's a game about killing.' *laugh now before you see your family get game ended* You kill people and then you dance. Pyro: Hey, Ellen, that-that's not family-friendly, You don't say the k-word, you say, ๐ ๐ ๐ฆ ๐ ๐ ๐ง ๐ ๐ ๐ You use the family-friendly appropriate term, ษข แด แด แด แด ษด แด
แด แด
I am so disappointed in you as someone of the MAINSTREAM MEDIA [Echoes]; to be saying such a horrible a-a-attacking word I will game end you. Ellen: It's like the motto that I have here at the show; laugh, ki- kill, dance. Ellen: It's like the motto that I have here at the show; laugh, ki- kill, dance. That's what I- Pyro: Laugh, kill, and dance on the grave of memes. AM I RIGHT? AM I RIGHT GUYS? I can't wait to go on The Ellen Show, in like two years time, when I finally peaked as a SoundCloud rapper and Ellen will play this video to me, trying to embarrass me. Ellen: Uh, I'm not really into videogames, but I found out that ๐ortnite makes hundreds of millions of dollars a month, and the people can make millions of dollars a year, just from playing ๐ortnite. So this morning, I went out and I bought myself an Xbox, and I'm gonna be rich. *internal screaming* Pyro: This video hurts me than someone killing me in PvP in Dark Souls and then pointing down on me. You just know for a fact as well, if Ellen went out to buy an Xbox herself to play ๐ortnite. She's just come back with the original Xbox holding a big fat juke controller in a hand like: "แต สฐ แต สธ หข แต แถฆ แต หฃ แต แต หฃ, แต แต สธ หข!" Also guys, kind of off topic, but please comment down below your favorite Xbox games you played as a child. We all owned an Xbox. The PS2 in Spanish actually translate to Xbox! If you don't say Serious Sam, I'm actually going to blacklist you from commenting on my channel again! Ellen: But I need to learn how to play, so that's why I invited one of the most popular players to come here and teach me please welcome Ninja! [People screaming and music] Pyro: Right, ok guys, we don't want a repeat of PewDiePie and Conan, we don't want it, okay? Ninja, please! FOR THE SAKE OF GAMING, I PRAY TO THE GODS, DO NOT MESS THIS UP! *le sigh of relief hon hon* OH MY GOD, HE DID IT! Ninja, we don't see eye-to-eye and I do borderline harass you in Twitter replies, and I basically do what you game ended. BUT for the sake of all Gaming and Gamers across the world, thank you! You went straight for the hug, and there was no awkwardness, you did that little lean up with your leg, like some kind of ballet trap boy, Ninja: THE FU- Pyro: But I'll accept it, because it wasn't the- i-it wasn't th-the PewDiePie handshake [Cracking Effect] Conan: That was awful, started to, uhh, turn into a high-five and it just fell apart it was- I never want to do that again [1x] I never want to do that again. [2x] ๐ ๐ง๐๐ฏ๐๐ซ ๐ฐ๐๐ง๐ญ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐๐ ๐๐ข๐ง. [3x] ๐ ๐ท๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ป ๐๐ช๐ท๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ญ๐ธ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ช๐ฐ๐ช๐ฒ๐ท. [4x]
[Sam Hyde laughing] ๐ ๐ท๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ป ๐๐ช๐ท๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ญ๐ธ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ช๐ฐ๐ช๐ฒ๐ท. [4x]
[Hitmarker in Felix mouth]
[Sam Hyde laughing] ๐ ๐ท๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ป ๐๐ช๐ท๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ญ๐ธ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ช๐ฐ๐ช๐ฒ๐ท. [4x]
[Sam Hyde laughing] [Sam Hyde laughing] Pyro: You know that PewDiePie was going for-- Conan O'Brien's throat, but Conan stopped him. One thing I love about Ninja, is like, when he actually successfully hugs Ellen. You can even hear him say under his breath there He got it! It's like his entire life led up to this point- 'if I mess up this Ellen hug, if I mess it up...' [clap] 'the samurai swords coming out, and I'm gonna ๐ฐ๐ช๐ถ๐ฎ-๐ฎ๐ท๐ญ myself.' I-I-I'd get the sword over there. I-I've made the joke too many times Ellen: So probably, uhh, a lot of people who know who he is have children- hAHAHAHAA AHAHAHAHAHAAH Pyro: 'If you have a child that's between the age of one and one and a half...' 'you'll know this guy, Ninja, the entertainer of one-year-olds across the planet.' I'm actually really proud of having a fanbase of seven year olds, honestly, Ninja with his- his FIVE year olds ๐ญ ๐ฒ ๐ผ ๐ฐ ๐พ ๐ผ ๐ฝ ๐ฒ ๐ท ๐ฐ! When Andrew Ryan in Bioshock made that speech about what is a man, and what is a parasite, when he was talking about the parasite, he was referring to Tyler Blevins Ninja! ๐ญ ๐ฒ ๐ผ ๐ฐ ๐พ ๐ผ ๐ฝ ๐ฒ ๐ท ๐ฐ! *oof* Is that his name? Oh my fu- go-! I got his name right! Yes! that's a Fort-that's a ๐ortnite dance [1x], that's a ๐ortnite- look at it [1x], look at-! Oh fu- oh god ow! *everyday we stray further away from god* Funny moments are over, the funny moments are over my oh OOH- Ellen: So your name is Ninja? Ninja: Yes. Ellen: And I should have a name too, so I'm thinking like either "Magicbullet" or "Cuisinart" or... *le wheeze* Ninja: EllyD! Ellen: EllyD? (sounds like a ripoff of PhillyD) Ninja: Yeah! Ellen: Yeah, I like it. Yeah Ninja: Yeah, just came up with that.
Ellen: Yeah, I like it. Yeah. It's-it's- that's like- like the lighting "LED" but Elly-D. Oh, yah. Yah Ninja: But oh yeah-yeah!
It's-it's- that's like- like the lighting "LED" but Elly-D. Oh, yah. Yah *le table smash* Pyro: You're the person that goes on Reddit telling everyone that SCP's are a work of fiction, (SCP Means 'Secure, Contain Protect') WE KNOW THAT! WHY DO YOU NEED TO TELL US THAT? Ellen: So then we're gonna hit- Ninja: Y. Yeah.
Ellen: I'm the girl with the breasts and a hat? Ninja: Yes! Yes! ''This is what it does it appeals like the male fantasy!'' It just hurts to watch! Legit, like, I- I'm trying so hard to squeeze content out of this video to get it to ten minutes! It's- it- I feel exhausted. Ellen: How much money have I made so far? Ninja: About $5,000 Ellen: Really? Ninja: Yeah! Ellen: How much have you made? Ninja Oh, right now? (?)
Pyro: Oh for God- ELLEN! ELLEN, STOP ASKING PERSONAL QUESTIONS! I feel like she's a little Labrador, you just need to keep telling her to be quiet, and stop barking of the child with no leg. Where did that come from? That's not funny. That's- that's scoffed, who wrote- who wrote THAT? Who WROTE THAT in the Pyrocynical scripts? *that moment when you try to give the illusion that you have someone else writing the script but then you realise it was you all along who made that offensive joke and the script* Someone actually wrote in the Pyrocynical script: "make a joke about legless child." That's messed up, man. *illusion 100* Ellen, please, stop asking Ninja how much he makes. YouTube wise, that's the equivalent of asking someone for their home address, please, respect their privacy. I don't go asking you, um... 'how you kill memes so quickly' I respect that. It's probably your kink. Ninja: Er no I don't know if you- you- you- were being serious So-
Ellen: Yeah, yeah! Pyro: Oh, you mean serious, MMM? OKAY ELLEN! Ninja: Being a YouTuber it's kind of like- Ad Revenue, and how many you know concurrent viewers you have- Ninja: Yeah, so you probably...
Ellen: Well, I have a lot of viewers. I have people- I have like 77 million Twitter followers Pyro: Yeah-er-oh my god, oh my god. Yeah okay, Twitch subscribers, they give you money equates the Twitter followers. It makes human sense! I mean, I've got at least seven followers on Twitter so technically I should be a millionaire from all the memes I steal and repost on there. Ellen: My badonkadonk is, um, have I done anything yet? Ninja: Oh, you know you really haven't, but, it's okay. You can play the game however you want, I'm just kind of watching you! See on my screen, I can see how you look, in this! Ellen: And are you trying to kill me right now? That's me. Ninja: We're best friends Ellen: Oh we are? Ninja: Yes. Ellen: Oh that's great. Pyro: I can't- I can't do it. I can't- I can't do it. Ellen: I know but I don't know- Okay, Northwest, North. Ninja: Yeah.
Ellen: I know but I don't know- Okay, Northwest, North. Ellen: I know but I don't know- Okay, Northwest, North. Ninja: Some more to your left. [inaudible] Ellen: Yeah, I don't know what you mean by inverted. Pyro: I just can't. I just can't How-how can someone be this stupid, HOW can they? huah Oh, you're shooting people. Ninja: I am I'm trying here It's very difficult on the- on the Xbox. Pyro: OH MY GOD! Ninja Tyler Blevins, did you just mock the Xbox? The XBOX? More like the Alpha box. I have here with me the original, Xbox One. Xbox, please roast Ellen into Oblivion! Thank you Xbox, you did well today Ninja: This is the infinite dab, when you just dab infinitely, and they might join in, I'm not sure! Ellen: Now wait a minute, so, who came up with the idea that we're gonna kill people and then dance? Ninja: I think it just kind of started. Pyro: Ellen, you could have asked so many more philosophical questions Like, 'where is Cowboy Bebop season two?' 'What is the true furtive Pygmy in the Dark Souls lore', but instead you ask, 'why do you kill people in ๐ortnite?' Ellen: Oh, I'm so mad [BLEEP] Dammit what- am I gonna be able to get through this? Ninja: I don't know that's indestructible Ellen: Oh, well, then why are you letting me do it? Ninja: I can't- I can't- I can't I've tried so hard now. Ellen: Help me, help me, alright, alright.
Ninja: I can't- I can't- I can't I've tried so hard now. Pyro: One thing I'll give Ninja, he has the patience of a saint. Saint Christopher? More like, Saint Ninja! Saint Blevins is that you? Ninja: I can- I can see the evolution of the gameplay. Ellen: Okay, and then X? Ninja: Gotta get a little bit closer, a little bit closer, a little bit closer Ninja: ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ Ellen: Alright, X Ninja: ๐๐ ๐ ๐ Ellen: Here? Ninja: ๐๐จ๐จ๐ฆ you got it. Pyro: Ok, guys. She picked up the shotgun. She FINALLY MANAGED to get a weapon to defend herself! There is no way on God's earth, that she can mess this up now? Ellen has got it in the bag. Ninja: ๐๐ค๐ค๐ข Now hit the right trigger. *el gunshots* You don't have to hold it you're almost out of ammo. Ninja: There's a storm coming Ellen: I get that with X? Ninja: You're about to die do you hear that? Ellen: Why? *Please press F for our fallen soldier* Ninja: desbryant killed you! Ellen: Who did? Ninja: desbryant the- Pyro: I mean, it's this or I get bullied. What a corner I have painted myself into with my YouTube channel Ellen: How much could you make in this time? Ninja: In this time? Ellen: Yeah *thonk* Ellen: Fifty thousand dollars? Ninja: Umm.. Pyro: Ellen, Ellen, we talked about this. Oh my god, she- Ellen, you are basically asking poor little Tyler to take off his pants and strip in front of you! (wtf) Do not ask a YouTuber about their earnings, if any of you want to ask me about my earnings; feel free to look at SocialBlade Pyrocynical, where you could see that I earn at least one dollar a year. Ninja: Guys are right now at home... probably at their teammates, they're duo partners, it's calling out and stuff. Ellen: So they're like on speakerphone talking to each other? Ninja: Oh, it- Pyro: What's a speakerphone? Actually gonna look this up. OH! OH! Oh a speakerphone the thing you saw in like 2000's movies and never seen them again. Ninja: I wouldn't say speakerphone, probably like a headset so- (laughing) Pyro: You could even hear a lot the producers in the background laughing, that they were probably ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ shortly after, and then buried, with the Pepe meme, and the TrollFace and the- The "Why you no" meme, y- you remember that? That's a good meme. (no its not) Ellen: You flew in just to play ๐ortnite with me and I've learned... ...nothing. *inaudible laughing* Pyro: I gotta give it to you, Ellen, brutal honesty. That is a virtue, that we are missing in this world! Anyways, guys, I'm gonna end the video here. I-I can't stomach it anymore. Honestly, I-I need to lie down! This has just physically and emotionally drained me, at this point we're never gonna get Petscop 2! aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAA Anyways guys, if you enjoyed, please S M A S H S U B S C R I B E, it really helps me out. Also if you haven't already, you could become a channel member, to get an exclusive access to the channel and you'll also be able to see making of and behind the scenes in videos that I'm making. Thank you all guys I love you so much, and hopefully my plan to get Ellen's attention has worked And in the next video, you'll see ME on The Ellen DeGeneres Show talking about, 'how fantastic the 'Default Dance' is.' stop stretching out your videos to 14 minutes it makes us have to subtitle so much *end my suffering*
