Never Chase After Being Dumped

hey man Jim wolf here with dating advice for men who loved women so you just went through a breakup and it hurts and hurts is probably not even a strong enough word and unfortunately it's an experience that many of us have a lot more often than we'd like so first of all I just want to let you know that you are definitely not alone this happens to the best guys and usually they don't even see it coming or even know why it happened and by the way the woman leaves the man much more often in a relationship than the other way around when you look at who files for a divorce for example it's much more often the woman who files for divorce than the man so you are most definitely not alone in this experience and it doesn't say anything at all about you as a man Angelina Jolie recently left Brad Pitt and he seems like a really cool guy he's extremely handsome wealthy and famous so again as painful as it is it happens to men all over the world all the time and you are not alone and by the way you're awesome just for seeking this information out you're already on the right track right now just by listening to this presentation and in this presentation we'll go over how to process your breakup so that you can start moving forward from a position of strength when you're ready and before we get started I just want to say that this presentation is for general breakups if you're getting a divorce and you have kids etc obviously the things in this presentation still apply but those things are a whole other ballgame so this presentation is just for the general idea of going through a breakup and before we get started I just want to say the first thing that you shouldn't do is try to get your ex back some of the most popular programs out there are how to get your ex back programs and if I just wanted to make a lot of money I would definitely produce how to get your ex back product however I will never produce a how to get your ex back product because I don't think that you should chase after your ex after she breaks up with you now I'm not faulting the people who make those programs because a lot of guys will find dating advice by buying one of those get your expect programs and then they launch into the process of learning about dating and personal growth from that point so I'm not putting down anyone who makes how to get your ex back programs because there's a huge market need for that and that's the entry point into learning about dating and relationships for so many guys so I'm not saying that get your ex back programs are bad it's just that I'll never produce one because I will never recommend that you chase after your ex for a couple of reasons number one when you chase after someone who broke up with you you lose some self esteem and self-respect and I want you to have more self-esteem and self-respect so I don't want you to chase after her and then number two let's say you did end up getting her back let's say you got a how to get your ex back program and now she's back with you well first of all the problems that you had that led to your breakup are still going to be there if she gets back together with you and maybe even more importantly she's still going to remember everything that you did that made her want to break up with you she's never going to forget all that stuff and she's never going to see you the same way versus if you start over with a new woman as hard as that is to imagine right now probably you're going to be in a much better position because that new woman is not going to have any memories of anything that you've done to make her less interested in you so you're going to be in a much stronger position and when it comes to living your life and being happy and fulfilled and successful you always want to come from the strongest possible position and so the best possible thing that you can do is to start fresh with a new woman once you are ready and if you're not ready to move on right now I totally get that I won't fault you at all if you close this presentation right now and go buy all of the get your ex back programs that you can find and try to go for it if that's the position that you're in I won't fault you at all for that we're not robots we have feelings it's to just let someone go so I completely understand that however six months from now you're going to be a lot more successful and feel a lot better about yourself if you take that pain right now a short term and let her go and don't chase after her at all and so that's what I recommend that you do if you can and I also recommend that you look at this breakup as a huge opportunity for personal growth and chances are you're already starting to if you're listening to this presentation you know one of my best friends is also a dating coach and I met him about two or three years ago and he went through a really bad breakup that really hurt him and because of that moment he started learning about personal growth and dating and relationships and now just a couple short years later he helps guys all over the world become more successful with women and he actually left dental school to teach guys about dating full-time and he's a really amazing guy and none of that would have ever happened if he didn't have a really painful breakup so as painful as it might be right now if you start to see this as a huge opportunity for personal growth you're already going to be heading down the right path and then to start processing your breakup and turn it into something good do these seven things number one start taking better care of yourself use this as an opportunity to take great care of yourself go buy yourself one nice thing that you've wanted to get for a while and you haven't do one thing that you enjoy that you haven't done for a long time go get yourself a massage do something nice for yourself and then if you're not doing it already start working out this is a great opportunity to get your health in order and lifting weights and starting to feel really good about your body has been shown to increase your self-esteem and your self-respect and your self-worth and that's going to make you more confident and attractive going forward so if you're not already doing it start lifting weights or working out or just do something active with your body so that you can start feeling better in a physical way take a boxing class go do martial arts sign up for a softball league whatever it is do something to get your body in motion and that's going to make you feel better physically and then also grow your self-esteem why are you so awesome make a list of all of your best qualities and keep adding to it as you think of more and then work on raising your personal standards for what you tolerate in your life as well starting today cut two things out of your life that you don't want or need and add one thing that you do want and you can practice that just by spending two hours getting rid of clothes that you haven't worn in 12 months and that process of letting go of things that you don't want anymore I don't need anymore will also help you move on from the break-up it's basically the same process so give it a try and then number two do something for someone else go volunteer at your local soup kitchen give money to kiva.org my favorite philanthropy do something for someone else because that makes you feel a lot better about yourself and your life and then number three make a list of things you didn't like about your ex and your relationship with her now this is not to put her down at all so when you're out on a date with a new girl you never want to say anything negative about your ex however chances are you have an inflated view of your ex when someone breaks up with us our attraction to them automatically doubles from that quote rejection and so that's probably part of why you feel so bad you most likely have a very inflated positive view of her and it can help to balance that out by remembering some of the things you didn't like about her and some of the things you didn't like about your relationship nobody is perfect there's no such thing as an angel or a goddess there's just human beings just like you and me we all have positive and negative qualities and chances are you're seeing all over positives and very few of her negatives so it's been shown to help ease the pain if you actually spend some time and write down some of the things you didn't like about her and your relationship and then don't show it to anyone else this is just for you and again it's not putting her down at all it's just painting a more realistic picture of her and your relationship in your mind and again that can definitely help you start to process your breakup and then number four when you're ready they examine what actually went wrong in your relationship there are only three main reasons why it didn't work out with her number one she was never actually interested in you to begin with there are some women who will date you when they're not actually interested in you so this could be a woman who was dating you because you had to hook up two really cool concerts or she thought that you had a lot of money or you were kind of a rebound safe guy for her because the last guy she dated before you was a complete jerk and she wanted to change etc so a woman will date you for a lot of reasons only one of which is that she's actually interested in you so that's one possibility number two if she was interested in you you made some mistakes that drove her interest in you down and eventually led her to break up with you so that's the second possibility and then number three you chose the wrong woman it might not have anything to do with you at all she might just have a bad attitude or she might have some issues that she has to deal with so those are the three main reasons why a woman will break up with you she either wasn't interested in you to begin with or she was and your behavior drove her interest down or if those two things aren't true maybe she just wasn't the right woman for you after all so figure out which one of those three it was and then correct it for next time and you do that by number five learning more about women learn more about women so it doesn't happen to you again and you're already doing it right now just by listening to this presentation well done I encourage you to keep going and keep learning about dating relationships male/female dynamics and women forever and adopt a growth mindset and just start where you are right now and keep learning everything you can from here remember there are no actual naturals there's just guys that learn this stuff at a much earlier age probably from someone in their life who happened to be good with women and I want to tell you a quick story about this we often think that successful people don't have to learn anything and they're just born with a certain quality well let me tell you about my friend Brad my friend Brad is one of the coolest guys I know he's also handsome well-connected very sociable very kind very smart etc he's an extremely high-level man and he has one of the most attractive most amazing wives you could possibly imagine and he's very happy in his life and he's very happy with his wife and they have four kids and they're one of my favorite families now here's the interesting thing about bred he's the kind of guy that really doesn't need any dating advice he's extremely happy in his relationship already and his wife is amazing however when I first went on a big major podcast and did an interview he was the first person who had listened to my interview to make a comment about something that he learned from my interview so here's a guy who we would all think has absolutely no reason to seek out dating advice who actually listened to my interview and pointed out a couple of things that he learned from it he was the first person to comment about it okay and then contrast that with a guy out there who thinks he already knows everything about women and dating and just imagine the success level of those two guys so the idea of being a natural is completely a myth I encourage you to be like my friend Brad and continue to learn about dating and relationships for the rest of your life and remember this about 70 to 90% of relationships according to the research that I've seen are not happy healthy and functional 70 to 90 percent of relationships are not happy healthy and functional and so almost everyone has more to learn in this area I've been studying male-female dynamics dating and relationships etc for about 15 years now very intensely and I can tell you that I still learn something almost every single day so I encourage you to start right here and then keep learning about this topic for the rest of your life because you have to learn this stuff it's not quote natural also there are many ones there are many women who are right for you soul mates don't exist and even if they do there are literally thousands of them walking around the world right now just waiting to meet you once you process this breakup and learn everything you need to know to go forward and also remember happiness is your job if you're seeking happiness and women you're going to be very disappointed and you can increase your happiness by expressing gratitude and by going after your genuine desires in your life so that's your job and a woman can add to your happiness but no woman can actually make you happy that's your job and the truth is this you are whole and complete and awesome all on your own exactly as you are right now you are awesome whole and complete right now in this moment just as you are you don't need a woman to complete you and then number six start creating a life you actually enjoy if you love every moment of your life whether a woman is with you or not it's going to take the sting out of any quote rejection you might get from a woman including a breakup if you're really doing things that you love to do every single day and you're really enjoying your life you're not going to be so hurt by something that a woman does so starting today focus on building a life you enjoy and that's fulfilling for you and then invite women into your life versus looking for a woman to complete you or make your life better focus on creating a life that you love on your own that's fulfilling for you that makes you feel good and then invite a woman to join you and you're already awesome life instead of trying to get a woman to make you happy and then lastly number seven when you're ready move forward when you're ready move forward give yourself time they say it takes about two months for every year you were together with someone to really process your emotions from a breakup and I'm not sure exactly where that number came from however the point is that it definitely takes time so give yourself that time we're not robots we have emotions we have feelings etc so give yourself time first because that's really the only thing that's going to help you get over this breakup and then when you're ready at that point move forward from a position of strength and once you are ready just take one action to start you going forward and start your momentum so start with just going out on one date with a new girl or start by getting one woman's phone number or just create an online dating profile or sign up for an online dating app just do one action to start you moving in the right direction once you're ready and then keep going forward from there and eventually you'll get to exactly where you want to go then if you feel like you're ready to start the process of moving forward right now we have some free gifts for you as a thank you for checking out this presentation we have some advanced free training for you and you can get it by going to dating advice for men who love women calm that's dating advice for men who love women calm and if you think you're at the point where you're ready to just jump right in right now your copy of the best-selling attracting keeper system right now inside the attracting keeper system you'll discover how to attract a devoted girlfriend or wife and how to keep her in love so you don't have to worry about getting dumped or divorced ever again and you'll also learn how to build an awesome fulfilling relationship with her that keeps both of you happy so I encourage you to end your pain and confusion about women forever go grab your copy of attract and keep her right now just go to attract and keep her calm / system that's attracting Keifer calm / system I'm Jim wolf with dating advice for men who love women and I'll talk to you later Cheers

Channel: Dating Advice 4 Men Who Love Women

Views: 444,346

Rating: 4.8251929 out of 5

Keywords: how to get over an ex, how to get over a breakup, how to get over her, how, get, over, breakup, her, a woman, a girl, dating advice for men, what to do after a girl dumps you, should i try to get my ex back

Id: OcqT89OS56Y

Length: 18min 30sec (1110 seconds)

Published: Tue Jun 27 2017