My sister got pregnant and ruined my life

am i VA for telling my parents they made my sister getting pregnant ruin my life she's 23 m18 grandma died eight years ago and she left more than enough money to pay for all her grandkids colleges education 'he's with a few stipulations don't get arrested do d be a drunk get pregnant get someone else pregnant the money was put into accounts in the parents names since we were all kids then in sophomore year my sister got pregnant she hit the fan panicking about college the baby daddy left and she hasn't tried to find him get child support and the stress from that cause too hard complicated pregnancy both are okay mom dad still let her go to college as long as she didn't have another and maintained a 3.5 GPA which she did she graduated last December with about two grand in debt I figured her money must have been used to help raise her kid and pay for her pregnancy the past two and a half years so she had to get a bit of a loan which seemed understandable boy I was wrong I got accepted to my dream College on the other side of the state but mom kept trying to get me to go to a cheaper one year home so I don't need a dorm and it would be a cheaper school I asked her why she was so insistent grandma left plenty of money I thought turns out they flushed all the money that was supposed to go to me down the toilet to take care of my sister and her kid and her expensive pregnancy turns out was a lot worse than I was led to believe I broke down and just lost it crying harder than I ever have shouting how they ducked me over and ruined my life for the kid the ducked up now I'll have at least 70k debt if I go to school I guess this upset my sister and she asked in a very upset tone if it rather her be out on the streets destitute and unable to care for her kid who she reminded me was a living being because she didn't have an education support system just so I could go on to college and have a good life I said yes how it's not fair that she got to duck up get drunk and sleep with so many guys she doesn't know who the baby daddy is something she told me but apparently not mom or dad kept breaking rule after while I haven't ever even had s with my boyfriend and now in the one that has to be punished for it everything just keep devolving into more yelling fighting until I left I've been staying with my boyfriend for the past few days I know with the rotary Sheldon GP anywhere but I just wanted to be with the one person I feel like actually gives a damn about me mom's been texting calling trying to get me to come home saying if I can just be reasonable and not vilify my sister we can probably work something out I told her unless she has money grandma left for me don't talk to me until I have my college loans paid off in 50 years did I go too far a lot of it was driven by emotion but I really feel bucks over here and like him being punished despite being the one that followed the rules I've since slept with my boyfriend I figure if I'm getting punished same as if I would have broken all the rules I can at least have fun 3,000 Chalam it is an hour edit been texting CSUN this morning to try and mend stuff with her since I didn't think mom and dad spending the money was her fault she was told about it after she graduated and was asked to keep me in the dark she has offered to pay for a book or two but not more since she wants to move out to get out from under mom and dad's thumb probably to party again since she doesn't hide how much she misses it edit - there was a bit left after C's got done at college and was told about it all they decide to use it to get her a car so she'd be able to get to work and she went along with it now impaired all three again edit three emerald my copy of the will to the laywer he says due to how it was set up he can't be certain right now we have a case but there's a good shot seven years ago my mom disowned my sister Allie after finding out that Ali is gay and was sending her then-girlfriend to school using money that Allie asked from my mom under the pretense that she was putting up a business my mom wasn't born rich but she worked hard and made good financial investments she wanted me and Allie to have a good start in life so she paid for our college education and even paid our bills until we got permanent job it took Ali a year to find the job and she stayed only for three months she told my mom that she wanted to open a business instead my mom agreed to help her and sent Ali almost 70 K over the next few months whenever Ali said she needed money for various expenses Ali sent pictures of receipts and permits so we thought the business was real but later my mom heard from a girl named Kate who said she was Ali's ex-girlfriend Kate said that there is no business and that Ali used the money to pay for Kate's tuition fees for shopping and to go on vacations my mum was livid and cut Ali off then and there she is very religious so it hurt her doubly to get the confirmation that Ali is gay and find out that she lied to get money for Kate I have no issues about Ali being gay because that had been obvious to me since we were in high school that I was really upset that she lied to our mom and took money from her to spend on Kate I've had a difficult relationship with Ali since then because she never made the effort to try to fix things with my mom she said sorry when my mom confronted her which my mom rejected and then Ali never tried to talk to Arman again I told her numerous times that the effort has to come from her because she's the one who messed up but she said that our mom was never going to forgive her our mom died suddenly last year and left me everything her house to other properties and a relatively large amount of cash since then Ali has been trying to convince me to split the inheritance because she is my sister and she says I know it's unfair that mom disowned her just because she's gay I don't really want to give Ali any significant amount of money all the properties because I feel like she didn't care enough about our mom when one was alive and now she just wants to gain materially from what my mom left I said I can give her a few thousand dollars every month as an allowance of sorts but she says that she is entitled to half of everything because she is also mom's daughter and it's unfair if I keep that from her Amina I'm 20 and I bought a car myself I insure it myself I pay for all my own gas and maintenance and everything I'm temporarily living at home and my parents wanted me to give them the spare car keys so they could move the car if it was in the way ever I said okay it turns out when I have been out or not paying attention they've been lending my car to my sister who is 17 and has a minors driving license I told them that wasn't okay to have done without asking me plus I told my sister to stop taking my car out I don't like her driving it because I don't have my car in short for a minor driving it and what if she crashes Plus even though I'm hardly going out I don't like seeing my car missing with no warning randomly anyway my sister has used my car several times since then I think my parents let it slide they know she's doing it even though I don't like it I asked for my keys back and they said it would be too inconvenient to not have them because we have to double park in our driveway and sometimes cars need to be moved so I made a plan I put an old cell phone in the glove box on a charger and I installed a track my child sort of app on the phone so I could see where it was going so when I saw my car gone one day I called my friend who picked me up and we went to where the car was it was parked in the downtown area of the city on the street I took it back with my keys and we drove it to my friend's house to hide it then my friend dropped me off back at home my parents got a call later that day from my sister panicking saying she was stranded in the city she'd lost the car they drove out to get her and they all came home I started asking questions like what were you doing with the car did you lock it are you sure did you miss remember where you parked you're sure it's stolen and my sister was freaking out like saying she was sure she locked it and she was sure of where she parked it and it was stolen I was like well maybe you know how I feel having my car stolen with no warning all the time it sucks right you go expecting the car to be somewhere and it's gone she was like but that's different it was just me driving you know the family has keys and I was like you know I have keys right I'm sure it will turn up somewhere my sister and parents real I had the car by then and my sister was furious for stranding her in the city at night for making her think for a long time that the car had been carjacked etc my parents are also angry that I didn't think of her safety when I left her without a way home edit to explain about the safety thing I took the car back in the early afternoon I didn't expect her to be out till nighttime it wasn't a sketchy area the area was a rich-ass neighborhood that's always crawling with cops there were also gas stations and convenience stores open all night that she could have gone into to wait I'm a young woman myself I went to college near that area and I never had any trouble being out there late and alone being stuck there would be inconvenient but not really sketchy am i the a for stealing my car back my parents divorced when I was two I'm now 18 and until about three years ago I would spend summers and every other holiday with my dad most of that time was also spent with his parents my grandparents my mom remarried when I was six to my stepdad who is like my actual dad to me since my biological father is opposed and was a they had my half-sister a year later who is now 12 I refer to her as my sister and introduced my step that is just dad my grandparents on my biological father's side are very old and honestly probably won't be around for much longer I haven't seen them in three years and have very limits phone calls with them always on my mom's phone with her sitting next to me they do not know this for certain but have guessed over the years anyways after I got off the phone with them the other day for one of our air talks the topic of inheritance came up my grandparents are very well-off and I most likely will get quite a bit of money I mentioned I will save it for a future house and to help with education costs since my parents will not be giving me any aid for schooling fees that turns out was the wrong thing to say because my parents immediately started demanding that I split half of it with my sister I didn't refuse because I know better and I was honestly just shocked at their reaction I didn't really anything their logic is that every time I had to go away to visit them that my sister had to go without having her big sister and that she had faced a lot of difficulties with the situation they also said it isn't fair that I would be getting all that money and she wouldn't have anything I love my sister if she needs help paying for college or aunt when she is older I will give it to her no questions asked I would have given some of the money maybe not half and maybe not just deposited in a bank account that she would get anything she needed what I'm angry about is being told what to do with my money as if they've been counting on this for a while and I'm tempted to bring it up again to sort that out edited again to clarify the money I will give my sister will be set aside to be specifically used for education or expenses she has one in college I would not be given her a huge sum also I have no idea how much of my grandparents assets are tied up in trusts but seeing as they're multimillionaires it is highly probable my mother passed away three years ago the family home where I and my sister grew up was willed to me it was her ancestral property and she wanted her daughter to have it the other vacation home went to my 16 year old sister our father remarried six months after mom passed away and moved his new wife in my sister says that that woman has removed all of our family pictures from the main living area she has removed our mom's pictures as well now all of these pictures adorn the walls of my sister's room recently our father and his wife announced that they were pregnant with twins my sister didn't take it well she's still not over mom's death and had a breakdown after the announcement the night of my sister's 16th birthday party she brought a lot of friends over and the party went until the next morning my dad's wife who was out with our father on vacation returned the same morning and lost her call when she saw the kids passed out on the living room our dad knew about the party they just got home earlier than expected his wife proceeded to lose her cool and had a big shouting match with my sister she said that my sister was just like our mom and was a burden on our she then asked her to leave and sent her packing to our aunts I was furious when I got to know about it I showed up home the next day and asked them to leave within a week she's seven months pregnant and had no idea that the house belonged to me I know I shouldn't be kicking a pregnant woman out but I don't want my spineless father and his wife to have my sister anymore my father called me a cruel brat and now wants to challenge our moms will he can try my mom's family has already appointed their family lawyer to fight my case a my VA yet so this is a mess anyways my younger sister is getting married next May engaged just a few weeks ago she's coincidentally been dating my highschool ex who I dated for three years between 18 to 20 I'm 27 now it was long enough ago that we are all on friendly terms and no one really finds it that strange anymore my season turf in Kate still live in our hometown if not that many people I've moved away since I turned 21 and whenever I come home I basically only see my closest family and no one else I don't have the best reputation with some of the older generations and I'm fully aware of this this is important so the issue I'm now facing is that I truly desperately do not want to see my sister's film case parents who hated me when we were dating we had split on terrible terms it was my fault I was in a bad place and cheated on him in college but even though he doesn't carry any kind of grudge anymore everyone in town knows his family despises me my sister recently called me about this very topic she wanted to walk me through all the tricky pitfalls of interacting with his parents since they still hate me and we'll probably say terrible things to me in public she told me that his parents promised to be on good behavior but that I shouldn't provoke them but no matter how much I insisted that was a complete lie from them my sister is still 100% line2 how psychotic and dishonest his parents could be so I sat on it for a few days thinking about all the crap they'll end up doing to me and it just ate at me so much I couldn't sleep for two nights I talked it through with friends and my boyfriend and eventually called my sister to tell her that I don't know what to do because I might not be able to go to her wedding if there's any chance I'll be publicly humiliated and verbally abused in front of hundreds well I gently raised this with my sister but she lost it she said if I miss her wedding then I should just never call her again because she won't pick up she thinks I should just suck it up and let his parents do whatever they want to me for her big day I get where she's coming from but I also feel like the cost is too high for the sake of my own mental sanity over the next year am I the a edit to everyone asking why no one's told the parents to behave the parents are telling my sister and her fiance that they won't say anything to me and we'll be perfectly sweet but I know them well enough to know this is a complete and utter lie I told my sister as much that she has never seen their nasty side and totally believes them at their word so now it makes me look like I'm bailing on her wedding for no reason at all even though I know his parents won't resist talking down to me if they see me [Music] [Music]

Channel: Ask Girl

Views: 87,771

Rating: 4.9230347 out of 5

Keywords: reddit sister, reddit pregnant, reddit girl, reddit man, reddit, r/askreddit, r/ sister, r/ pregnant, r/ girl, r/, reddit pregnancy, askreddit sister, askreddit pregnant, askreddit girl, askreddit

Id: Bvbpodf867Q

Length: 17min 11sec (1031 seconds)

Published: Sat May 09 2020