My sister in law wore my wife's wedding dress for her wedding

my sister-in-law has mimicked my wife all her life and her copying our wedding is breaking my wife down how can I help her I will promise this by saying that my wife and her sister have had many issues over the years mostly stemming from her system in making the things my wife does or doing them before my wife gets a chance once she hears about them I have personally witnessed this numerous times over the five years that my wife and I have been together most of the time it has not bothered me but when it is clearly something that my SIL doesn't even enjoy it has left me a bit mind-boggled my wife deals with it most of the time but I can tell it makes things less special for her the wedding related problems all began over a year ago when my wife and I were preparing for our wedding when we got engaged my wife's sister demanded to be made the maid of honor despite the fact that my wife and I don't have a very close relationship and my wife wanted her best friend to be her maid of honor this'll got blown completely out of proportion and ultimately ended with my mother-in-law telling my wife that if she didn't let her sister be the maid of honor that they would not help us pay for the wedding and would consider not going oh and she also told my wife that she would be a bee if she didn't let her sister be the maid of honor my wife eventually gave in to this and let her sister do some planning for wedding events to make her feel better the first of which dress shopping my wife showed my sister some of the dresses she liked online and her sister was going to arrange appointments at a few different bridal shops well turns out that her sister made all of the appointments at bridal shops near her house we live work 30-plus minimun away from her house my wife was frustrated because buying a dress from one of these shops meant she would have to leave work early two to three times over the next few months to do fittings and alterations but she let it go when they showed up at the bridal shop the attendant who was helping my wife trial dresses showed her all of the dresses that they had pre-selected based on the photos that her sister had sent them well turns out her sister had sent them a bunch of different photos because she thought they would look better so they didn't have any of the dresses in the style that my wife liked ready not a huge deal but my wife was a bit annoyed a few months later my wife and I went to go pick out our wedding bands after looking at a few different styles my wife ultimately chose a pretty unique vintage wedding band that was beautiful my wife has always had unique tastes and finds joy in things that are outside of the norm she loved the ring and sent a picture of it to all her family members well a few weeks later her sister gets engaged to her boyfriend of three years within the week she has picked out her wedding band and it is the exact same band from the same store as my wife's at this point my wife is more upset but her sister says she didn't think of my wife's ring while picking it out so she lets it go after a few more incidents over the next few months my wife and I ultimately decide that there may be less drama if we don't have a wedding party at our wedding her sister can still technically be maid of honor but we won't have groomsmen or bridesmaids stand with us at the altar when we are married my wife and I are married on June 13th without a hitch yay and have been enjoying the married life ever since my wife and I love to travel and I had planned on taking her on a nice vacation next year to celebrate our one-year anniversary now we have come to find out that my wife's sister will be getting married on you guessed it June 13th next year at this point my wife is beyond annoyed and feels like her sister is just going out of her way to mess with her unfortunately it seems like the vacation may be off the table but luckily it isn't booked yet so no worries there my wife is very frustrated that a sister didn't even ask her before setting the same date to add some additional fuel to this fire my wife and her sister went shopping for her sister's wedding dress this weekend now despite the fact that a sister had told her that the dresses she picked for our wedding didn't look good when my wife tried them on last year her sister ended up picking the same dress that my wife wore for our wedding at this point my wife finds it comical that this just continues to happen for the most part this has had a minimal impact on my wife over the years that I can tell that the wedding part is really weighing on her I'm at the point where I feel as though it would be best for my wife to avoid telling her sister things to avoid these problems how should I approach this with my wife to help her feel better how should my wife approach this quick background fiancee and I have been dating for four years engaged for one wedding is in December winter wonderland and all that shows Syl was supposed to get married last year June her ex left her literally at the altar the an Kay's family is very wealthy Syl has depression with M episodes since then and moved in with her parents to the story since we have gotten engaged so has gotten very weird she always took pride in being the first one of the kids to be getting married she has since insisted that we spent more time together so that we can form a familial bond I was never really fond of her but forth in case sake I said yes every time my fiance leaves us alone she will say something very weird and rude she will belittle me and give me wrong advice I never bought my fianc airing because we never discussed that she never wore Ang's and instead I painted her a full portrait of us - I know tacky but she was like butter in my hands after that well Syl kept saying that my fiance was whining about never getting a ring and that she felt unimportant at first I brushed it off because fiance never said anything but she got in my head and I bought her a ring showed it to Syl who said it was disgusting and too conservative I wanted to give it to her anyways well Syl exchanged it and put a paperweight in the box and left the ring somewhere behind some books fiance was very confused by the gift and me trying to explain that I had a ring just sounded like a whack excuse we eventually found it and I said the only one capable of doing this is Syl she didn't believe me and said that I must have been mistaken because her sister would never do something like that Syl kept being the BCA's miss placing things in our apartment being a beat of my face saying to my fiance how much she loved me and was exited to see our wedding telling me that I was worth listen basically a gold-digger I tell my fiancee this one day when I come back to the apartment after a long workday fed up by everything that they so had swapped my designs from carpet I'm a designer and I keep my designs in colored carpets to know which one I have to take I don't check them before going out because I don't want one to fall out and disorganizing the whole Stach that morning sill stayed in our apartment and fiancee slept in longer than me she was the one to change the designs which got me an earful at work so after being fed up I exploded in front of my girlfriend and said that her sister was sabotaging my life apparently that snake was still at our apartment and played the victim card saying that she only wanted the best for her sister and that she never thought she was hurting me my fiancee blow up in my face saying that she had depression working trough it with a therapist and that I should apologize right away I did but I feel so drained so drained that I don't even know if I want to get married anymore my fiancee don't Steven believe me so what's the purpose of this all she thinks her sister can do no wrong because she was wronged I'm so done so done I don't know what to do my husband and I have been trying for a baby and finally got our positive tests and confirmed it with a doctor we decided to wait a few extra weeks to be cautious and to surprise our families at Thanksgiving we've been friends since the third grade and our families are extremely close after living in apartments since college we bought a house this year with enough space to host Thanksgiving for both sides of our families and lots of members have flown into town to join us right now the house is full and everything is great all of his brothers and their wives are here since we all grew up and went to school together and being an only child I'm super close with his brothers and thankfully very friendly with my sister-in-law's one of his brothers is divorced but has done a great job at co-parenting and staying on good terms with his ex who is still close with a family they both are in a serious new relationships she flew into town to drop off their children for the holiday and is here as well but leave off late tonight to go on vacation with her new man it works out for everyone bill has a new girlfriend has been fully welcomed into the family and they've been dating for three years now she's sweet 90% of the time but has a very petty selfish and immature streak that causes major headaches when it comes out she and I have had our own issues that I generally do my best to avoid drama my mother and father-in-law take the family on vacation every year and this summer was the first she was able to come with us and managed to cause such a problem that she and Bill had to leave early this holiday is the first we've all been back together once Bill's ex arrived with the kids she announced to everyone that they were expecting it's her first and while everyone is genuinely happy you could tell she did it on purpose for whatever rivalry they have going on bill was caught off guard but went along with it now that the excitement has died down my husband and I are discussing whether to make our announcement because she could easily overreact to top things off husband spoke with Bill who has come to us both begging that we wait to announce as well though we all agreed at first now that I've sat down and thought about it I'm P I was very excited to share our news and I don't want to change that because of a someone's high school drama all of our family are here which was hard enough to arrange and I was very excited to reveal this pregnancy which we tried for a while on should I keep the peace and wait or hold off on our reveal background info my husband and Nate are twin brothers they've been best friends their whole lives Cheryl and I had been friends for about ten years she met Nate at my wedding we moved to the same city as Cheryl and Nate early in 2017 and began hanging out as often as we could I caught Cheryl lying several times about fairly insignificant things so I'll let them go I just told my husband how odd it was for example I asked her if she wanted to go to the gym together and she refused because she had to work but a few hours later she posts a snap story of her at the gym wit one lie however was fairly significant and Incred bleeb Layton's Cheryl had asked me if we wanted to go to the Backstreet Boys concert in Las Vegas for Nate and my husband's birthday they don't even like Backstreet Boys this was all Cheryl anyway we said no we just moved the needed to save money it also would have been very expensive with flights tickets and hotels about a week later a mutual friend of mine and Cheryl's fell extremely ill she had to be taken via Life Flight helicopter to a bigger city for treatment she was on ECMO and was given a 50-50 chance by doctors to survive I asked Cheryl to come with me to visit her and we could fly or Drive it was about six and a half hours by car Cheryl declined to go visit because she just can't afford it right now are you kidding me a week ago she could afford to go to the concert crazy there are so many examples to prove that Cheryl is a psycho liar and selfish be but this post is already extremely long the story it all started in the summer of 2017 when Nate and Cheryl asked us to watch their dog while they vacationed in Mexico we had agreed to do so months prior and had no issues with their dog we loved him just before their Mexico trip they returned from another trip where they had spent time in the woods with the dog the dog came home with something like 12 ticks they had to take him to the vet because his brain was messed up or something he was tipping over walking funny etc the dog ended up being fairly sick and was on several medications they were very worried about him while they went to Mexico my husband and I decided that we were going to take a few days off work and drive five hours to my in-laws home instead of being locked in a kennel while we were at work the dog would have had much more attention and my mother-in-law is amazing with animals it was a win for everyone or so I thought Cheryl initially told me she was totally fine with it but a few hours later my husband started getting angry messages from his brother saying we ruined their trip and we were terrible people basically we were confused apparently Cheryl didn't want us to go to my in-laws with her dog so she lied to Nate and told him that we weren't watching the dog anymore she wanted someone to stay at home and nurse a sick dog back to health while they went on vacation but she didn't want to pay for the dog to stay with a vet anyway it ended up with arguing over text for a couple days even though I said I'd pay extra attention to the dog and not let him out of my sight they found a new free sitter for him I saved every text and snapchat conversation by the way which came in handy later cut to a couple months later Nate and Sheryl get engaged by the worst proposal of all time my husband and I were in bed at 10:00 p.m. on a Friday when we got a call from my idiot drunken bill he was slurring his words and repeating himself but we were able to understand that he had just proposed to charile drunk in their living room Wow I probably would have told him to duck off with a proposal like that but whatever if they are happy who cares about two weeks after the proposal we invited them to happy hour to attempt to mend our relationship with them we really hasn't spoken much since the dog watching incident and they were getting married in just two months things were going fairly well until the second bar and fourth drink when Cheryl brought up the dog watching incident my husband and Nate couldn't hear us because the bar was so loud but here is how the conversation went I was just mad because they don't use air-conditioning much this is a lie and my dog was sick me oh well actually I saved all of the texts this is what you really said getting frantic well you call Nate an idiot during a snapchat me actually I called him a genius here is the screen shutter P well remember like three years ago when you made fun of me for I can't remember what it was me well I don't remember that but based on the way this conversation is going that's probably a lie too then she slammed her drink down and demanded to leave we paid the bill and decided to leave too we walked by them on our way out and Nate was screaming in front of a crowded bar European my whole family hates you at me we didn't say anything just walked away the next day we got a message from Nate Tim so I assume you won't be at the wedding husband yet fast forward to the week of their wedding my husband and I already had several days off so we decided to visit my family and go to a college football game husband receives a fossa book message from Gerald's sister who we have never met asking him to come to the wedding without me my husband didn't even respond and we had a great weekend with my family a couple days later my mother posted a few pictures to facebook of us that weekend having fun at the game she was instantly harassed by Gerald's sister and had to delete her mean comments several times this really pay me off but I nicely asked Charles sister to leave my poor mother alone she responded and said she would pray for me because she had heard about all of the horrible things I had done and told me to leave Carol alone WTF I hadn't talked to Cheryl nor did I do anything wrong I found out later from an insider at the wedding that Cheryl had made up a totally new story about how I ruined everything and that I was this mean terrible person both my husband and I had people delete us on Facebook and stop talking to us because of what Cheryl had said we didn't really care but was shocked that someone would just totally make up lies like that it didn't have to escalate that far she also told people that she and I were never friends at all Cheryl and I used to be good friends she even met Nate because she was a bridesmaid at my wedding I actually think she has lied so much that she actually believes what she told everyone I'm afraid she's made this too big to resolve she would have to admit to lying about absolutely everything and I don't think she ever will I'm sad for my husband because he and his twin brother were best friends and now they don't speak can we fix this at all they just had a baby and we would be the coolest aunt and uncle ever hey doll throw away here for obvious reasons my husband comes from a very close family he's especially close with his brother who is a couple years younger than us his brother is engaged to a girl who is just an all-around better person she doesn't have a lot of her own interests and friends and is also not close with her family she also works a low-paying job at a fast food place my husband and I have worked extremely hard to afford a lifestyle for the last three years we've been married we've saved a lot of money and were able to purchase our first home last summer my husband and I also get along really well and have very few major relationship problems my bill and his film kay are a tiff story they live with my mother-in-law and don't make a lot of money at all this is completely fine obviously they were younger than us and we never flaunt what we have we spent a pretty good amount of time with them and never suggests anything too expensive and if they can't afford to do what we want we don't make a big deal out of it at all my bill and his fan calso fight constantly and publicly which is annoying but my husband and I ignore it and move on 50% of the time Syl and I can get along great I'm pretty easygoing and I have to spend a lot of time with her so I try to make the best of it in casual conversation a few months ago I made a comment to Syl that I was going to start trying for a baby she seemed excited for me and we didn't talk much more about it then about 4 weeks against he sends me a pic of her positive pregnancy test I was stunned but in the interest of keeping the peace I congratulated her and even bought her a present for the baby I thought the timing was extremely fishy especially since she had mentioned to me before that she was in no way ready for a baby I wrote it off because obviously I'm an adult and realize my pregnancy isn't the only one that matters but then this month another family member told me Sal had told her she purposely got pregnant because she wanted to beat us at something on top of this she told the other family member that I'm struggling to conceive I'm furious first of all who brings another life into the world especially one they are clearly not prepared for despite someone else and secondly I'm not struggling to conceive I've tried for two cycles I'm so Beyond via about this whole situation I want to continue our cordial some what friendly relationship but how I can do this when I know she's truly rooting for my failure and that she's so spiteful

Channel: Ask Girl

Views: 190,423

Rating: 4.8721857 out of 5

Keywords: reddit wedding, reddit bride, reddit girl, reddit sil, reddit sister, reddit sister in law, reddit, askreddit, askreddit wedding, askreddit wedding dress, askreddit girl, askreddit sil, askreddit sister in law, jelous sister, reddit jelous sister, sister in law, sil, r/ wedding, r/ sil, r/ girl, r/ bride, wedding stories

Id: zJdNS4zMcCE

Length: 20min 9sec (1209 seconds)

Published: Sun Feb 23 2020