My mother scheduled my parents anniversary day for the same day as my wedding

[Music] i feel like i'm in some bad wedding movie where the parents of the bride do everything possible to ruin the wedding i received this text from my dad's parents on wednesday hyodi unfortunately your celebration and your mom and dad celebration are at the same time gran and i have thought long and hard as to what we should do and have finally decided that we will go to your mom and dad's anniversary and not come to your wedding as painful as this is we love you and wish you well in your future relationship we know it's an exciting time and hope all your plans and dreams will be realized please stay in touch and let us know how you are doing and if you need anything much love gran and grandpa i'm ducking livid i simply said i was disappointed ask them not to contact me again and then block their number i had a vague idea that something weird was happening when i received a message from a probably not guest who told me that she hadn't received the invitation yet but to message her so i did giving her details and asking if she was coming or not she said she'd get back to me as my mom's event was on the same day i just didn't realize what this event was y'all my ducking parents got married in december my wedding is at the end of september i got an email from mom the same day i got the text from my grandparents i won't include it in this post because it's ducking long but she mentioned how she had a celebration next weekend with 40 of her closest family and friends family and friends from my ducking guest list the people we actually want will be there and that's all that matters but just what the actual duck who does that my uncle and his family also backed out but they're weird and i don't care about them coming anyway he texted me a month and a half after i sent him a text asking if they were still coming and explaining the changes in two weeks after the rsvp deadline that they weren't coming and he hoped my relationship with my parents got better going forward as that's important in the future i didn't ask for your unsolicited advice i asked you to confirm whether your kid was still my flower girl at least now i know she 100 will not be crashing that's one thing i don't have to worry about anymore things for the wedding are coming together and i don't think it's gonna be a complete show so that's good edit thank you all so much for your support kind words and advice i appreciate it so much and it's been so helpful i received a lovely little email from my mother in my spam folder today so a post about that will be coming soon let's just say i'm ducking pissed and she's a delusional witch tonight i will be getting drunk because this bee is making me lose my mind this isn't part of the update but this just happened about 10 minutes ago and i'm a little rattled i wasn't going to post this tonight i'm tired sick and i have two papers due tomorrow that are barely started my dad just showed up at my ducking house i'm shaking as i type this because what the actual duck i answered the door and he was standing there and this is how the conversation went me no dad i have something for you for saturday me this is completely unacceptable i didn't ask you to come here dad can i just give you something it's for saturday me i don't care i don't want it and then i went inside future dh had gotten to the door at this point and simply locked it and came downstairs with me we live in a basement apartment if i had known it was him i wouldn't have answered the door however it was dark and i couldn't find the switch for the outside light i'm not actually sure if he's left yet or if he left the gift bag he had andy just what the duck now on to the update future dh and i met with our officiant last night to finalize the ceremony details and it went really well i also ended up getting some information from her and it all makes perfect sense now she's a longtime family friend so initially we were nervous she was going to back out of the wedding however she told my mom that we hired her and she would be doing the service regardless she also told her that i had a right to choose who i marry and said it urged against mom's party idea mom didn't take that well sent her a long assemble as she does and hasn't talked to her since they are using the originally wedding venue for their party they didn't want to waste the money they chose to spend future dh and i were gonna pay for everything ourselves and wait a couple years to get married they insisted they wanted to help out as a gift to us to help us get a smooth start lol so they planned a party and labelled it a 25th wedding anniversary party so like i guess in a ducked-up kind of way it makes sense haha mom sent my spam folder an email on saturday and it's as delusional as ever she really is living in her own carefully constructed world it's actually kind of scary subject checking in on this beautiful saturday hi sweetie i hope you had a good week at school and you are enjoying your classes the countdown is on with only a few days left before your big day i'm praying that you and future dh have had some pre-marital counselling this is something pastors like family friend we didn't end up asking to officiate what have you do it's always helpful to go to the counseling classes i'm sorry that he won't be part of your day either they love you very much and are praying for you we will be seeing them in october i can't wait to spend some time with them we were all very sad to hear that you told your grandparents not to contact you again they have done so much for you over the years and most recently helped you pay for the last installment owing on your wedding dress upon pick up i know we didn't raise you this way so i'm not sure where this is coming from i know this is not who you are you are a sweet and loving smart young woman with a big heart and lots of compassion they still continue to pray for you and cry over the hurt that this situation is causing they did mention that their chat with you is very awkward and concerning that something just isn't right i will continue to pray that god will bring a wise and loving person into your life someone you can share with and sort through where this anger is coming from we are all concerned and we all love you very much getting married at this point in time may not be the answer to this anger and sadness that is overwhelming you and causing you to hurt the people you love we also heard you told uncle to never contact you again i can only imagine the deep sadness you are feeling grandpa is still hopeful that you and future dh can turn this around he gets so excited about future dh wanting to farm and has great faith that future dh could be a successful urban farmer he really wants future dh to read the book this all said i'm sorry you also don't want your gran and grandpa to be in your life either you have shut out your entire family od i don't know what happened to you but i do know that we all love you very much love mom zoo she just completely ignores the fact that i cut those people out due to the fact that she has decided to throw a three-month early anniversary party on my wedding day and they have unrest to my wedding in favor of attending that she refuses to take responsibility for ducking anything everything is everyone else's fault in my response to my grandparents i had thanked them for all the help they had given us i should have realized it came with strings attached the reason lunch with them was so awkward was due to the fact that they huddled together on one side of the table my grandmother complaining about the food options the whole time they made us pick and told us the restaurant was fine and then didn't talk so yeah it was very awkward if they had concerns maybe they should have brought those up to us instead of acting as flying monkeys and going off everything my parents say is the 100 truth there's always two sides to the story unless it's my side because i'm the child and should know my place as an object belonging to my parents that has no feelings of its own she has also brainwashed my brother into not coming to the wedding because he can't support something he doesn't believe is right i'm done with them they will never hear from me again nor will they ever have anything to do with my future children i'm ducking done with this nonsense my 27 female mother 54 made me wear the same clothes as her and have the same haircut as her for the majority of my childhood until i left home after i left she couldn't control me anymore so she started copying me instead she seems to want us to look like twins i buy clothes and she will see me in person or in photos and copy me i get my hair cut and she copies me i try to never go shopping with her if i can help it but a couple of days ago she forced herself into my day by showing up on the day i planned to go shopping for clothes she usually copies me later anyway so hey so we go in a particular shop i love i need loads of clothes because i recently lost a lot of weight so we go upstairs first and i'm looking at punjamis she starts picking up the exact same pairs of pjs i do and gets upset when i pick up a pair they don't have in her size i used to be bigger than her but i've lost so much weight i'm now smaller than her i eventually convinced her to buy different colors to me though she chose from the same display as mine so they are the same material and design she made an odd comment at this point that she needs pjs that make her look slim because she is going to be staying with her brother for a week oh creepy anyway we then went back downstairs to look at tops and leggings and she picked up everything i did in her size which annoyed me so i started looking at clothing that wasn't my usual style i wanted a change anyway new weight knew me i noticed a sweater that looked really pretty and said something like oh that sweater is nice but hadn't pointed out which one she said she didn't think i was looking for sweaters and as i walked to the one i liked she walked over to another and said oh look this one is nice by this one it was an itchy looking material and it was pure black it looked like something to be worn at a funeral i held out the one i liked peach with pretty drawings on it and she visibly deflated she said that she thought it was backwards because the drawings were on the back instead of the front so of course she didn't copy me when i put it in my basket we then looked at some more tops pretty ordinary looking except they had frills part way down the sleeves she said they were ugly and though they hadn't immediately drawn my attention i thought they were okay so i bought one on purpose because i knew she wouldn't i'm now wearing my frilly top and it's grown on me it's quite pretty i'm happy knowing she won't be dressed like my twin today but part of me thinks i should have just put up with her and that i may have gone too far opinions my ex-wife and i got divorced three years ago i've been married to my current wife for over a year now my 13 year old daughter lives with us but she spends time with her mom every week my daughter never really accepted the fact that her mother and i went our separate ways she's clearly still struggling to deal with what happened and she hasn't been fully open to her stepmom yet her stepmom knows and respects her wishes and gives her the time and space she needs my unbelievably unbearable self-centered mother-in-law does not like me at all in fact she hated that her daughter got married to a single dad and would constantly go out of her way to try to belittle me in front of her whole family i've been low contact in the past few weeks i no longer visit my wife visits alone but sometimes i have to let mother-in-law come over to visit my wife and every time she'd try to start an argument but i just avoid her and try to suck it up for a couple of hours till she's left a couple of days ago she showed up i told her my wife wasn't home but she insisted on waiting for her in the living room while i went back to working on our fence my daughter was in the bathroom taking a shower at the time she's had just got back from her friend's house in about 10 minutes my wife arrived and went to sit with her mom her mom decided to leave after spending only five minutes talking to my wife i thought that was odd she never leaves in less than at least two hours my daughter spent an hour watching tv then she went to her bedroom i heard some noise and my daughter came out running telling me that her journal was gone at first i thought maybe she could've left at her friend's house she said no it was there when got back and before she went to the bathroom she was telling me this while crying this is definitely a big deal for my daughter her journal is her private space this is where she writes down what's on her mind and vent and just kind of get it all out without having to worry about being judged i myself used to have a journal that i still keep from when my dad passed away seven years ago it helped me during my grief and dark times it occurred to me that my mother-in-law took it because my daughter was in the bathroom while i was out fixing the fence so yeah it made perfect sense she took it mmy wife decided to call her mom to ask her about and she denied but i didn't buy into it i decided to call her myself and what she told me was a shock she said she was at my daughter's room came across the journal and read some horrible things that my daughter said about her daughter she said was worried with what she read in the first couple of pages so she decided to put the journal in her bag and go home so she could read it comfortably she then said that what my daughter said was unacceptable and inappropriate and that this girl needs to learn some manners i told her that's private stuff and what she did was a massive invasion of my daughter's privacy she got all defensive and started berating me for what my daughter wrote in her journal i was absolutely enraged i went to her house to take back the journal she saw this as a chance for an argument i just took the journal and went home when my daughter knew she blew up in my face because she was so upset with what this woman did she stayed in her room refusing to talk to me she thinks i'm somehow the reason this happened i've apologized more than i could remember i tried to sit down and talk to her because i was worried about her she took this the wrong way and said i'm sorry i didn't know she was going to invade my room and peruse my journal like this had you informed me i would have lied in my journal and simply would have written some good things that probably never really happened and feelings i've never really experienced that hit me she thinks i had something to do with my mother-in-law being incredibly rude and stealing personal stuff from the house and get away with it my daughter literally hates me and says she no longer trusts me i'm at the end of my rope and don't know how to handle this mess okay so i have two kids six female and eight male and i'm currently seven months pregnant i was brought up in a family where everyone helped out and did chores and when you did these chores when you were little you'd get a treat just for encouraging them this wasn't a big tree just like a candy bar or a little toy something around two pounds at most me and my husband talked about all this and agreed this was a great idea my husband's family never had these kinds of rules and it lead to my husband and his sisters being super lazy my husband had never washed his own clothes loaded a dishwasher or even cooked anything until he met me and it was a hard habit to get out of my mill came over a few days ago and we were all sat in the living room drinking coffee and the kids were playing when i remembered we had bought some nice biscuits for when my in-laws came over so i asked my daughter if she'd go get them from the kitchen my mill said to her not to do it and i could do it because i was the mother i was kind of confused but did it anyway later on my medal pulled me to the side before leaving and told me i can't use my children for child labor and how she hopes i get off maya and stop being lazy i said that my children should have chores and that i shouldn't have to do everything just because i'm their mother she said i'm abusing my right as a mother i was seeing red but she left before i could scream at her my husband did hear anything as she pulled me aside privately but later agreed with me and said he didn't want his children to turn out like himself i'm really pissed at her but should i bring it up again [Music] do you

Channel: Ask Girl

Views: 39,245

Rating: 4.8799171 out of 5

Keywords: reddit girl, reddit wedding, reddit entitled parents, reddit stepmother, reddit mother, reddit mil, reddit mother in law, reddit, r/askreddit, r/ girl, r/ wedding, r/ entitled parents, r/ stepmother, r/ mother, r/ mil, r/ motherinlaw, r/ justnomil, justnomil, askreddit girl, askreddit wedding, askreddit entitled parents, askreddit stepmother, askreddit mother, askreddit mil, askreddit justnomil

Id: LNlK-ivBRMo

Length: 17min 49sec (1069 seconds)

Published: Mon Oct 19 2020