Sisters demand I give father's inheritance to them as it's the tax season

i'm the youngest sibling of six on my father's side and the only child on my mother's side the other five siblings all have the same mother and are close in age so they all grew up together in the same town i grew up a six hour drive from them and only saw them on occasion my mother and father divorced when i was 10 and i've had zero contact with my father's side of the family until recently about a year ago my mother started to talk more with my dad he came to visit us where we lived and she flew out to visit him in utah naturally i was cold since i hadn't seen him or talked to him in about a decade i'm 20 now my mom urged me to build a relationship with him and my half sisters i shot her down also during this time i was making preparations for going off to college so i was pretty busy it was clear they were planning to get back together however my father suddenly fell sick i was unable to visit him since i was struggling through my first semester and plane rides airports are incredibly taxing on me i video called him a few times and forgave him for abandoning me for a decade he passed away in august 2018 at 57. i was never close to him but i still struggled with his death i had to go to my school student support services and ask for a lot of leniency in order to pass my classes i cried myself to sleep for weeks i was hesitant to go to the funeral since i'm so estranged from that side of the family but i ended up flying across the country to attend his viewing and funeral his death destroyed my mother and she and i were not on good terms for a few months but we've talked through it since i was still his child i had to fill out a lot of paperwork in order to get my inheritance it didn't help that i was on the other side of the country and still drowning in schoolwork and stress my sisters were a bit short with me when it came to filling out the papers but i let it slide they were also grieving and they wanted it done as soon as possible i ended up getting 30k after his assets were evenly divided among the six sisters however each of us had to chip in a bit to pay for the plane that transported him across the country to his hometown my mother ran the numbers and according to her calculations each owed 9k now i guess i have to talk about myself since it's relevant to the story i go to mit commonly referred to as one of the hardest schools in the u.s in addition i'm more or less paying completely out of pocket since my mother is rather well off though it's still a strain on our finances this 20k was pretty welcome since it could pay for a good chunk of my tuition my mom has always taught me to be smart about money never spend more than your means check your credit card bills with a fine-tooth comb etc i'm working and my mom told me to allow whoever to withhold money for taxes rather than freaking out around tax season my mom's incredible mind for money and great business sense has allowed her to buy six houses which she rents out and manages the money from this along with her full-time job allows us to live very comfortably this is where things get dicey my mom talks to my father's mother my grandmother quite a bit and through her she finds out my sister sold off my father's place and got 1k each i didn't get a part of this one of my sisters also kept my father's car for sentimental purposes sure that's fine however my sisters demanded my mother give over my entire 30k inheritance to pay for my father's fees etc when my mother confronted them with the 9k figure as well as the money they made from his place they started coming up with excuses excuse number one i didn't help with the arrangements for selling my father's place or for arranging his funeral you know because i'm in college at one of the hardest schools on the opposite coast from them excuse number two it's tax season and we need to help them with that my mother and i both have our taxes withheld so this doesn't happen to us but we have to bail my estranged sisters out excuse number three my oldest sister is 500k in debt and needs help she went to medical school and makes good money but someone where she works apparently told her to invest rather than paying off her half a million dollars so she's investing and sitting on 500k in debt which is collecting interest we have to help her pay this off apparently excuse number four i didn't have to choose the most expensive school i chose this school knowing we could pay it off with little to no debt besides it's mit post grad salary pays itself off my mother and i talked about this and we decided this was the best school for me regardless it's none of their business through all of this my grandmother has been on my side dad's mother my mother is royally pissed off at my sisters in the divorce my mother got two of my father's houses which she has been managing since they're both fully paid off so everything she gets from them is profit she was going to keep one and sell off the other eventually and split the money between my sisters it's valued at 250k so in my sister's greed for 21k of my inheritance they pissed off my mother who cared for them and also lost 250k in the process my mom wrote them a check for exactly our share not a cent more and sent it to them they cashed it and that's that i was already very low contact with them before this but my mom and i are officially no contact after this see and i met when we were eight years old and she moved into my neighborhood we instantly became friends and started dating when we were 14. c ended things junior year of college she said she needed to figure out how to be herself without me which i guess i understood because we grew up together and had always been together but it still broke my heart soon after this my parents joined a new church and went crazy they became homophobic even though they were previously supportive of see and i and just became all-around jerks i stopped going home so i wouldn't deal with them when i graduated college i was pregnant my parents freaked out when they found out told me i needed to give them my child so they could raise them right they called cps and the cops on me even though i didn't have a kid yet saying i needed mental help and couldn't raise a kid they said horrible things i was scared for my baby's safety so i got a lawyer they got a cease and desist i moved changed my number and deleted my social media i was no contact with my entire family my sisters were also members of the church and agreed with my parents when my daughter was around eight months old c came back into my life saying that she always loved me and that she needed some time to herself but she wanted me back she never dated anyone else we got back together after some time and we were really happy she took my daughter two years old now as her own she proposed to me a couple of months ago i thought i finally got my happy ending two weeks ago c mentioned that my sister p was visiting our city i instantly got red flags and i freaked out and demanded to know how she knew that after a while she admitted she had been talking to both my sisters for a few months and that they left their church and were very sorry about everything and wanted to reconnect she even sent my sister a few pictures of my child i screamed at her and told her she had no right to do that i told her to leave and never come near my daughter or me again she was crying and saying she only wanted our family to be together again she didn't think i'd be mad because it was so long ago i kicked her out she has been texting and calling non-stop my family now knows my city my child's name and what she looks like i was advised by my lawyer to never let them meet my kid because they might try something she knows this our friends have been texting me saying she knows she messed up she thought she was doing a good thing she just wanted to help my sisters and i reconnect but i am pissed she broke my trust and i don't know if i can trust her again especially with my kid she showed up again asking for a second chance and i told her she needed to stop she asked if our baby asked about her i said she's two in two months she won't even remember you and the look of heartbreak on her face made me feel like the biggest a-hole ever she keeps calling and apologizing and i don't know what to do i love her to death but i don't know if i can take her back am i overreacting update i just found out that my parents also left their church and got a divorce my mom and my sisters did therapy for a while my dad moved away and they have no contact with him apparently my sisters had been trying to contact me for a while but didn't know how then a few months ago sea's sister posted a photo on facebook that shows c and i with their family my sister saw that post and realized c and i had gotten back together and got in contact with c see and i grew up together so she used to be friends with my sisters before we broke up and she believed them but knew i would never get in contact with them myself i also want to clear something out the cease and the cease and desist was for my parents only my sisters agreed with everything our parents did and said some hurtful stuff but never tried anything themselves update c told my friend that the only reason it took her so long to tell me was that she wanted to make sure their intentions were genuine i kinda get where she was coming from but it's still a crappy situation my sisters and i used to be really close before everything went down but now they are making it seem like their church brainwashed them or something can one church really change someone's personality this much i'm not buying it also i decided to go to therapy honestly i should have started when i was pregnant honestly i was thinking of calling it quits after i read through my comments but i decided to talk to see and ask for some space i hadn't talked to c this whole time she kept calling and texting but i was ignoring her i only saw her once and was a very quick encounter all my info was coming from the friend she is staying with and she was begging me to talk to see so i could get the whole story i asked c to talk and she came right over i asked to see her phone because i wanted to know exactly what she shared she shared two pictures of us but you can't really see kiddo's face in either just mine she also refers to kiddo by her nickname never her real name and my sisters think we live in the same city as sea sister but we live three hours away so while my sister is coming to my city she doesn't know we live here and it was a coincidence not something she planned with c like i thought most of the texts are my sisters saying how sorry they are and how much they want to fix things honestly knowing my sisters are at least regretful feels good two weeks ago i freaked out and refused to listen to anything she said i assumed a lot of things c still lied to me and betrayed me but there are a lot of miscommunications while this might not seem like much because what she did was still horrible and she broke my trust it changes everything for me mainly because they don't know where i live and she knows she majorly ducked up i really should have listened to all the facts before i freaked out and kicked her out but she understands my reaction i'm going to therapy and we are going to try couples counseling because i really do love her and hope we can work things out meanwhile she has cut all contact with my sisters and will be staying with a friend she knows it will take a long time for her to gain my trust back i don't know if i should let her see kiddo while we figure things out but i know that keeping them apart is also hurting my kid who's the only innocent person here if anyone has gone through couples counseling while living apart with kids how did you work that out not an exciting update and probably not what you expected to hear i know everyone was saying i should leave her but i truly think this was the best decision for my family as for my sisters it seems that religious brainwashing is a common thing right now i don't feel comfortable letting them in our life but maybe someday i'll reach out kind of an update to my last posts i don't know how to link them but you can see them in my profile so see and i are still doing couples counseling and things are great she moved back in and we are back together background my sisters and i were very close growing up they are two and four years older than me so we did everything together before they joined their church and everything went to crap they left their church a year ago and my parents got a divorce they were trying to contact me since they left their church but didn't know how they still want to meet up and rekindle our relationship they say they miss how close we used to be and want things to go back to that i don't trust them and don't really want to meet them alone for the first time but they seem genuinely sorry this church they went to wasn't really a church they got together in someone's house and talked about the bible there wasn't even a pastor there it was some kind of radical crap they weren't even allowed to wear anything but dresses or long skirts and were basically told their purpose on life was to pop babies out and serve their husbands and community i forgave them for me not for them really but i'll never forget what they put me through now see and i got invited to my oldest sister's wedding in a couple months i know nothing of her fiance or their relationship see and i got invited she sent an invitation and said it was her dream to have her sisters as her bridesmaids but knows we aren't there yet it kind of seems like a good situation to see them again for the first time without having to talk to them for long and having other people there the rest of my family knows what happened but they stayed out of it one of my cousins the only one i still have contact with she has always been on my side and helped me a lot said they are really ashamed of what they've done and that she thinks going is a good idea but understands if i don't want to go does anyone have experience dealing with this kind of situation edit just found out that my sister's fiance is an older guy that she met when she left the cult he helped her get back on her feet she quit her job when she was in the cult they have been dating for about a year and are apparently really in love my sister just found out she is pregnant which is why they decided to get married soon it is going to be a small wedding also we would never bring kiddo with us to meet them she would stay with a trusted babysitter also they don't have my number all communication happens through c's phone between work and family commitments my boyfriend and i attend a lot of events which require dressing up i have this one dress that i really like and i'm able to wear it to basically anything which is this blue off the shoulder dress it's nothing special but it fits me really well and it's right on the line between formal and casual which basically means i can wear it to anything and it's super comfy so therefore it has become my go-to dress for most occasions my boyfriend bought it for me and it's not particularly sentimental or expensive checked with boyfriend and it was 140 pounds on sale which isn't petty change to anyone in this scenario but my sister doesn't know the cost and i thought it was like 50 pounds or something but it's just a really lovely dress my sister asked to borrow the dress a little over a week ago she said that she and her fiance were going to a wedding and she needed something to wear i've let her borrow dresses before and i've always gotten them back so i didn't see the harm in lending it to her she said she'd have it back asap later that day my parents and i get a video chat request from my sister she's getting married her fiance's brother is holding the phone i still don't have all the details but it sounds like it was meant to be someone else's wedding they called it off and my sister and her fiance decided to use the wedding my sister keeps talking about paperwork so i don't think they signed a certificate but they had a ceremony after the ceremony my parents invited everyone over the next day for a reception my sister and her husband are currently living with our parents on arrival mom handed me the dress in case she forgot later i put it in the car and the night continued without mention of it the next day i wake up to about a dozen missed calls and even more texts from my sister asking if mom gave me my dress by which i mean my sister was saying my dress like it's hers i say yes mom gave me my dress back sister loses her stuff says mom didn't check with her first it's her wedding dress and she wants to keep it i say she didn't ask she says she just assumed i say it's my dress my sister says that's not fair as she didn't get the big white dress she dreamed of and i shouldn't have assumed i'd be getting it back after she got married in it then she asks me to give it to her as a wedding gift i say no she says it's not that expensive i have loads of dresses four or five for formal occasions and a few sundresses while she only has one plain black dress i won't miss this one but i say it's my dress and i really like it so i want to keep it my mom sister and brother-in-law all feel that as the dress now holds sentimental value to my sister i should give her my dress and when i said i wanted to keep it they got mad at me and said that i'm being unreasonable and basically being a total bee dad and my boyfriend are mostly on my side but even then they're not 100 sure am i the a-hole for wanting to keep it info to clarify it sounds like they were attending someone else's wedding one of the husband's relatives then the bride and groom backed out and my sister and her now husband decided to not let the wedding go to waste and got married instead of them i don't know the specifics or how they went from guests to bride and groom but i'm fairly confident my sister didn't intend to get married in my dress i'm searching for the same dress because getting a copy of it is probably the best solution here but we bought it a few years ago now from a department store that stocks several brands i cut the tags off so i can't trace it to the right brand and it's not on the department store website at all presumably because it's about three years old update i've slept on it and despite the responses my sister is the type to not let these things go and at the end of the day i value my relationship with my sister more than my relationship with my dress so i'm just going to give her the dress i have a few i can wear to events and it's not the only one my boyfriend has bought me to be honest and thanks to that person finding the brand i might even treat myself to something similar dad has offered to pitch in for a replacement as a thank you but i don't know if i'll take him up on it my sister has apologized for assuming which might not sound like much but by her standards that's basically the equivalent of her voluntarily writing a 10-page essay on the importance of not getting married in someone else's dress update someone found the exact dress it's no longer being sold which is a shame but honestly i can't imagine ever wearing this dress again now i know tainted sounds really dramatic but i can't imagine wearing it without being aware that my sister got married in it it wasn't such a big deal to me when i first said she couldn't have it but after thinking about it i can't imagine wearing my sister's wedding dress to events

Channel: Ask Girl

Views: 22,233

Rating: 4.9013157 out of 5

Keywords: reddit girl, reddit sister, reddit, r/askreddit, reddit wedding, reddit best friend, r/girl, r/wedding, r/sister, r/, r/bestfriend, askreddit, askreddit girl, askreddit sister, askreddit wedding, askreddit best friend, reddit fiance, r/fiance, askreddit fiance, reddit money, reddit inheritance, r/money, r/inheritance

Id: 79alE3texo4

Length: 19min 59sec (1199 seconds)

Published: Tue Mar 16 2021