Mother in law is upset because she doesn't have my birth certificate

mother-in-law upset that she doesn't have my birth certificate this happened over the weekend and I had a laugh with D H about it again today so I thought I'd share on Saturday th and I went to visit Mills house for sales 50th birthday Dylan still lived with mill because she's retired and can't afford to live alone while there we get on the topic of birth times I asked mill what time the H was born and she said oh I don't remember we were never really around for the birth back then WTF where was she anyway she said she would check the birth certificate she leaves and comes back with a small lock safe she pulls out her birth certificate bills and SILS mind you sillies bills wife not their sister here is where the justnot comes in mill asks D H where his birth certificate is he says I have it she asks me why I have it and I answer because it's with all of our important family documents no but it should be here with the other family documents me well having it at our house means D H doesn't have to drive three hours here and back to get it in case he needs it Miller why would he need it me silence milk silence me because it's his birth certificate no no it needs to be here with the important family documents me no word mill so does yours Christine me oh that's ok I'd rather have it with me in case I needed to get a passport or my social security card no well I guess you can bring it after you get those things me maybe so so change the topic and things went on without incident for the rest of our visit but today D H got a text from his mom asking when we were going on our trip when he said we weren't going on a trip she asked him why I needed a passport then D H said I have used that just as an example so then she texted me and said Christine D H said you didn't need your birth certificate right now please bring it with you when you come next and bring the h's thank you so I responded hey Mel I thought a lot about what you said Saturday and I think you're right so I'm actually taking my birth certificate and DHS to my mum's to be kept in her important family files no response from milind our birth certificates are going to be staying right here at our house my DHS from a big family I'm the only child of divorced parents tension started while dating my D H and I live hundreds of miles away from miles and his job keeps him here my mill hated that he stopped traveling home on weekends I was his first girlfriend so he wanted to take me on dates etc I didn't realize how big an issue I was until our first New Year's Eve we were having s and when we finished he had a bunch of missed calls and angry messages from her because he didn't phone her on the countdown now every year we have to stop what we are doing so he can call her this year I asked if he could do it at another point in the evening he refused and it caused a huge argument first time I met her she got drunk and told me I wasn't good enough for her son he was not in the room so doesn't believe me she's made snide remarks in front of him which go over his head while engaged she through numerous Tantrums over our wedding plans a private affair with just our parents to witness as it excluded her other children in my th's grandparents she whines that he doesn't go home enough a married man that he's distant he texts every day and face times two three times per week sometimes when he calls she gives him the cold shoulder and has said things about not being his favorite woman anymore he pandas to her and butters her out enabling this possessive juvenile behavior if I acted that way he'd tell me to stick it I've expressed my views but again it always ends in a fight one time she sent him a message telling him off like a child and he got in an argument with asterisk any asterisk because I thought she was being unfair he says I'm weird and unreasonable but I don't understand because my family were never close like his but when it comes to his mother my wishes are put bottom and he does whatever she wants D H says I'm ridiculous and creating an issue out of nothing he refuses to acknowledge it or my feelings my phil is driving stuff down for us next week mel has now invited herself and my DHS kids sister along so I'd be cooking for five in a two-bed house which we've just moved into with a two seater dining table and not enough space for everyone to sleep I told my th to please say no not this time as it's very short notice and inconvenient of course he flew off the handle and is insisting I say yes no compromise again I have a problem with his family I have no reason valid enough for him to say no I'm unreasonable etcetera but he will not be the one cooking washing and cleaning up after them he does not understand how I feel and sees it as a black-and-white issue he refuses to see any fault with his mother and lashes out at me when I express my feelings I feel like I don't matter I don't want my marriage to carry on like this being the other woman to my mental with a husband who doesn't respect my needs boundaries some background for this situation my th his parents divorced 27 years ago and his father remarried about two years later they have celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary this year his stepmother my smell is a special woman she means well and I think she is well-intentioned but she believes the world is against her and thinks everyone is out to get her she is constantly in situations where things didn't go her way and it was so unfair and will rant about it for days months yes I also want to add that she talks so much and it is impossible to get a word in edgewise a two-hour dinner with her is essentially a two-hour amble about everything and anything she will ask you a question and once you start replying she will cut you off and go on a massive tangent so it feels like she only asked you that question so she could tell her story exhausting now to my bridal shower th and I were having a destination wedding in the Caribbean there were around 50 guests attending so we did not want anyone to have to pay extra so we said no to an engagement party stag and OH a bridal shower etc the only thing I wanted was a bachelorette party which was in our hometown one evening of dinner drinks and dancing nothing fancy or expensive my try mom and jive stepmom they get along great asked me multiple times if I was sure that I did not want a bridal shower and I pleaded with him not throw me one they agreed and moved on about one month later I show up to my smells and guess what she had thrown me a surprise bridal shower she made it all about her parading around like the mother of the bride highlights of the party one she made the party land Cherie famed so I got 15 different night gowns as presents I don't wear / have never worn night gowns in my life so I ended up returning all of them for bathing suits for the wedding I could not return hearse however since she bought it three months prior clearance with no gift receipt it was three sizes too large - she forgot to invite one of my bridesmaids she is not a part of my main friend group and has never met my sisters so no one would have talked to her about it beforehand and assumed she would be there she was very upset that she missed it understandably J&M il did not apologize for this three at one point she was telling a story obviously monopolizing the conversation and I was turned the other way talked to my friends she wanted me to hear what she was saying and kept saying up hey pop hey op that I kept ignoring her as I was in the middle of a conversation at one point she turns around throws her hands in the air and yells well I guess op doesn't want to hear my story with an eye-roll I stopped talking turned my head started her and turned back to my conversation for she starts announcing her present to me in a dramatic and long fashion she goes on and on about how she has something she wants to give me for my wedding and it's important to her and blah blah she has a lot of family heirlooms and antiquities so I assumed it would be some hairbrush or a garter or something it was a hand-me-down nightgown that she wore on her wedding night for me to wear on my wedding night she even made a joke about fertility and how she got pregnant very soon after the wedding isn't that weird I faked my content for the present and I almost died on the spot the worst part of all this was for my German jism they had to sit through this party that they wanted to throw for me but I told them not to I heard from my sisters that they both cried after broke my heart this is my first time posting but fw and i have been dealing with my grandmom's nonsense for over a year now I've got lots of wonderful stories about her irrational tirades attempts at financial manipulation and suspected Jocasta complex vomiting as I write that I'd love to share those as I recall them if you're Lora interested but the last conversation really pushed me over the edge after reading through the resources in the sidebar I realized that I was Jaden hard in this conversation need to fix that almost looking forward to the next conversation where I express my opinion once and hang up the phone fw and I are getting married in eight months JimBob who has been trying to be on her best behavior recently fake but whatever has one task gather names and addresses of family and close family friends for the wedding my just yes smell god bless her was trying to be courteous when Shimon asked for a number limit jiff mph politely told her that there is no specific limit but changes may need to be made to the list if we have too many guests Welch and mum took that as a license to add everyone she could and ended up with a list of 80 she doesn't have a ton of friends I wonder why so this number was pretty impressive considering there were only 45 ish family members fine whatever from L didn't set a limit but now we have to cut South Mill texts Jen long asks her to cut her list and tells her that we are trying to stay at around 200 guests so 80 is way too many mom happened to be on the phone with me as she received that text trying to manipulate my next living situation by offering money foreign but that's a story for another day and oh boy did she blow up I told her she should start by cutting her cousins that she never sees her twenty-something church friends and my bills parents WTF why were they on there she gets P and hangs up fast-forward two days later mai-chan mom has had all weekend to strategize about this I get a call from her and she is even more p apparently she had gone to mill and offered to write a check for the expenses her extra guests mill politely declined explaining that we all decided on inviting around 200 guests and that is what it's going to stay at so mine Jen mom calls me on the phone with dad on speaker to interrogate mr. wife mill declined the money because you tend to manipulate situations with money is what I wanted to say but I didn't want it to seem like that opinion it was coming from Mill who has to siege in mom each week at church but other than protecting the reputation of my phone what would they have done not come to the wedding cool anyway I reiterated from Mills answer that we want to keep the number to around two hundred and I also tried to change the subject this is when it happened so me naively thinking that at least mine Jen mom wants me to be happy more than anything like she claims gently stated look this day is going to be about fw and i making vows before god and celebrating with our friends and family and all I hear is note from my dad brainwashed flying monkey that is when i proceeded to ask him what this day is about then he says that it's about celebrating the family that got us to this point and I should feel selfish for trying to make it about us by cutting their friends wow just wow I never thought they would go that far also they spent eight of the last 12 months hating f/w hoping we'd break up so I was shocked that they had the gall to suggest that they should be celebrated at the wedding they never wanted to happen after she and vomiting fog all over the place trying to make me feel bad for not inviting dad's friend among other things they must have realized I wasn't changing my mind about our wedding being about us go figure they told me to just cut the list how I please in a tone which is the adult equivalent of a teenager saying whatever so I took that and ran with it they've lost their privilege to add anyone to the list new plan is to no longer discuss any wedding details and state my opinions once and hang up the phone I've been too nice thanks for listening hope I followed all the rules I will likely post updates at least every so often until the wedding is over because this has been super stressful and FW and I have been engaged for only three weeks I'm thinking about the nickname fog machine because she puts it out like no other and it's always accompanied by some Broadway level fee tricks so dramatic hi everyone I'm brand new to this sub and reddit in general I'm here because one of my bridesmaids and best friends hosted about her encounter with my mill on reddit and referred me to this subbers away to get all of these mil stories off my chest and maybe get some advice I have a lot of stories about my mouth but I'll start with the most recent one the day she became my Malay ka my wedding D H and I met in my senior year of college I'm older than him because I switched majors and sholde graduated two years before we ever met so I kind of think it's fate that we are together he made all of the grand first moves planned every days and is just the perfect guy except for one major red flag at the time he wouldn't let me meet his family he would make up every kind of excuse when he told my dad that he wanted to marry me my dad's requirement was that we meet his parents first that was the beginning of the end his mother is extremely controlling my parents and I are quiet people and she took that as a sign of weakness at that first lunch she even ordered for my dad because she thought he couldn't make up his mind she told my parents isn't it a bit weird that sparkle bells picked up my son she's so much older than him haha I guess that means he will outlive her pretty much no one could stand up to her not even her husband because she just gets louder and louder and goes ahead to do what she wants anyway so when I started planning my wedding I picked one of my ladder friends to be my maid of honor because I thought I'd be able to rely on her mill turned up her charm to ten thousand and recruited my maid of honor to agree with almost all of her decisions I knew I was in for a bad time but I didn't realize how bad until I really looked around at my reception milk chose the invitations the church the priest the bridesmaid colors the bridesmaid shoes the bridesmaid hairstyles the flowers and the reception venue she even tried to pick out the song that BH and I were danced to I only found out because the deejay told me at the last minute about the change and I had to tell him now when I picked out my wedding dress I did it in secret with just my family while I was waiting at the back of the church with my dad to go down the aisle I heard mill ask my maid of honor is that the dress she's wearing all day at the reception she asked me the same question telling me that my dress was too plain to be worn in the reception venue the wedding cake was baked by my grandma randoms mill wouldn't even eat it because as she told the H it was too thick to be a wedding cake and I should have used the Baker's she sent me I just got my wedding book today the pictures are beautiful but I hate looking at all of the photos because every single one of them is tainted by Mills decisions

Channel: Ask Girl

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Keywords: reddit, reddit mil, reddit mother in law, reddit girl, reddit woman, askreddit, askreddit mil, askreddit mother in law, r/ mil, r/ mother in law, best of r/, r/askreddit, top posts of all time, crazy mother in law, best of reddit, justnomil, r/askwoman

Id: dSfy2K2ke1Q

Length: 16min 48sec (1008 seconds)

Published: Thu Jan 30 2020