Microwave Foodstuffs Special | Ashens

yeah um microwaves those special devices we all have in our kitchens for agitating the water molecules in food or however and making them go all hot and that also you can put foil crisp packets inside and they get lightning and then get rid of small and probably it blows your microwave up and kills you as well but other than that it's fantastic so yes over the years I've been sent various interesting microwavable foods and we should be looking at some of them today microwave food being well quick easy and not usually so disgusting that you vomit it straight up again at least not immediately let's start with Laurie's bacon curls which sounds like some sort of description of a specific type of excrement if you know you're having to describe it to a doctor but no microwave pork rinds Chicka Rona's thank you for that hot and crispy at last together at last so um yeah pork rinds they're not quite like pork scratchings they're more sort of fluffy and a little bit less dense they don't tend to have the fat and the hair sticking out which as we all know is an important part of a real pork scratching so yes there's more of a salt American thing less than one gram total carb per serving oh that's disappointing I'm sure the massive amounts of salt will make up for it original I think what hot and spicy here somewhere but we'll go for original and sear we run so yeah this is basically like the popcorn which is one of the more effective things you can do in a microwave except it's pork rinds I totally know these were really served hot so that does surprise me now they'll actually my god they're in date whatever next so this is presumably in a bag remarkably similar to yes microwave popcorn so shake bag five six times microwave one or two minutes Margaret and I very do not leave unattended or the world will be doomed carefully open bag is hot one of them in this bag I reckon they do stop microwave when bag stops expanding right I reckon I can deal with this to the microwave so then these took about exactly one minute for the bag to stop expanding and we are left with hot pork rind mmm this one's got black dots for good luck right I'm going to attempt to eat this one using my mouth and a teeth hmm oh all right tastes like a very fluffy and light pork scratching not much more I can say to that really not unpleasant slight pork flavouring don't really think you need them hot but yeah if you want that that's a thing I suppose I can think of worse things to cook in a microwave make your pets don't ever do that that would be very very unnecessary and unpleasant so what else have we got then well let's keep up the meat theme with some ready Chris fully cooked - I was going to read that fully cooked - cut but nowhere to qui as in French for fully cooked bacon product of USA so that's why it's called Maple Leaf and has a big picture of a Canadian symbol marvelous proudly Canadian company product of USA what's going on here anyway this is apparent from Dollarama where it cost two of my T dollars add any meal in five seconds presumably have to cook it first real bacon 100% seven clams are proud tame look how amazing that looks I'll bet it doesn't look anything like that once you've done the bloody microwave and really know you could do baking it in a microwave I think actually rings are built and they sell like chem plastic racks you could do Michael hmm anti invincible that Oh English muffin breakfast sandwich will make your own McMuffin as we go on the trade ingredients pork water salt and some chemicals lovely heating instructions removed by cos Liza from packaging a a microwave placed desired amount of slice of micro safe plate yeah yeah lined with paper towel are we up to so cut the old excess grease placing microwave and heat on high one slice 5 to 10 seconds on the spinosum quickman all you could fry it in a pan but let's face it if you're actually cooking a properly year probably important normal bacon so hmm hmm yeah that's so it's already cooked so you've just got to reheat it say it's looking a bit 10 into the devil's fingers and that's before generally 2016 so it's a couple of months that update I reckon I can live with that right I'm going to cook one slice of this and then return immediately and let's have a bit of a jump cut while that happens well then I don't really know American bacon etiquette but there's been a pretty [ __ ] cut by British Standards em yeah a fair bit of grease on the old paper towel and we are left with this I've just realised how odd it is actually that it had a pan frying suggestion on theirs if we could fry it you wouldn't buy precooked would you anyway what's it like then answer probably lethal I'm going to eat this bit which we will call porky Jeremy oh God hello well that's a bit naff yeah I mean it tastes like really incredibly shitty bacon like if you explained bacon to robots and they made some that's probably what they'd come up with yeah that's [ __ ] and not very nice at all frankly unimpressed it loses the Battle of the pig flesh to the mighty pork rinds earlier anyway we need some nice bit of vegetable in order to regular selves one of our five a day that isn't your taste like cardboard vacant how about tasteful corn may on that cob yeah it's just caught on the cob sort of sealed in a package again I didn't know you could do this in the microwave packed fresh marvellous again two dollars from Dollarama which Bisby the shop to go to for such things cooking instructions remove corn from the pouch and cook in microwave for one minute per cob marvellous why we do is cook one of these for one minute there we are technical here's an exciting story about cutting the cob my dad once came home some really cheap corn the cob they had brought from somewhere we like her a corn the cob we ate it and it was tasteless and disgusting and it was actually just maize the stuff they saw looks like on the cob these for animal feed so ten points to whichever shop he bought that from and also whenever I use these plates people say are we've got place that out where do they come from I found out they were apparently given away free with mobile petrol about thirty years ago there we are you've learned something today microwave time jump cut well that's the most compacted corn the cob you'll ever see in your entire life but at least I get to use these weird prompt things I bought years ago wait for it look at that what a world we live in and yeah it looks very sort of squashed I was going to put some butter on it but I thought no I shall experience the flavor fully also I don't trust the butter it's been the fridge for quite some time and I went off in holiday and yeah it's all there when I came back well I'm glad would it be weird for burglar broke into your house did nothing but steal butter the butter bandits there we are another sequel to home alone a little bit man q on the end there doesn't it right um I'm something worried about this one oh well let me sink my teeth into it and then get really friggin were Edith ah that's not good corn on the cob it's not awful um you know that is clove a bit sweet but it tastes it really does taste like it's been the plastic bag for a long time I think I can guess why that is here's a hint that's exactly what happened yeah not sold on that entirely also to dump a little bit longer it's got a little bit cool now but Tim yeah well you can do con the carbon microwave and I believe it would probably work alright so you probably don't the $2 prepackaged stuff don't really think I'm teaching anybody anything with that you were probably aware of that before had go on let's have a last one then ah JD's bacon pop no J Andy's pega Bob from the makers of bacon a's and bacon salt you know those freaks there's got a bizarre bloody em mascot that is hi I'm the flesh of a dead pig I'm an abomination let me die three bags and bacon flavor microwave problem yeah bacon flavored popcorn it's just gonna be awful over there's a little thing on here from Austin hello Austin hey ashens saw this thought you'd hate it so here it is thanks mate all the way from my local Walmart's and hopefully to your brown couch cheers man oh no now ruined everything here the pop tastes the sizzle oh god that makes you feel something noisiest I don't know why I was probably the popcorn the cup actually right and so yeah bacon pop is the continuing story of two bacon fanatics on a never an inquest to make everything taste like bacon that sounds like the worst Batman villain ever it started with bacon salt and $5,000 Dave won an America's Funniest Home Videos when his kid hit him in the face I see did that leave any long-lasting damage you know that sort of thing that makes you want to make everything taste like bacon yeah well um popcorn is one of those things that does work very very well to microwave as well we know and don't win all the data's on this actually I didn't check the corn either slowly Best Buy mmm about it about a year update tremendous well that's good I'm glad I've left it around that long I'm sure it'll feel really a Best Buy 20 foot no it's within date did it amazing well I know exactly how to do this in the microwave so I suppose we better just jump cut straight to it well this is a good popcorn for anybody who doesn't like the smell of popcorn because the popcorn II smell is entirely overridden by the weird stench of some kind of ID right describe it burning Pig candle it's really quite unpleasant anyway what's it actually like then it was quite greasy well it expected to be really wouldn't you looks just like normal popcorn it smells yep of that sort of melting pig stuff and tastes not with a whole lot actually it tastes yeah at first like popcorn and then it's just kind of taste of lard or fat or something you know not even particularly so I was expecting it to be quite salty and isn't really I would describe that as a slightly bland and slightly unpleasant which also perfectly describes every number-one acts that came out of one of Simon Cowell's television programs anyway we've learned something important today by your own ingredients make your own food for God's sake you

Channel: ashens

Views: 1,582,396

Rating: 4.9241529 out of 5

Keywords: ashens, review, funny, microwave, popcorn, bacon, bacon popcorn, pork rinds, pork scratchings, corn, sweetcorn, corn on the cob, disgusting

Id: v-9KUc3h0Js

Length: 11min 55sec (715 seconds)

Published: Sun Mar 20 2016

Reddit Comments

[u/Darthrevan4ever]

I just can't wrap my brain around corn like that...I mean who in the hell is buying this crap

[u/[deleted]]

Probably would've tasted better if he used the blowtorch instead of a microwave.

[u/A_Simplepun]

For what it's worth, if you wrap a normal corn cob in a damp paper towel, you can cook it in about 60 seconds in the microwave

[u/JDGumby]

On behalf of Canada, sorry for the Maple Leaf microwave bacon (note CA$2.00 is £1.06/US$1.53 at the moment, for those who like comparing prices, and that's probably half what you'd pay at a normal grocery store).

Sadly, that stuff's only slightly worse than the slabs of half-fat slices they try and pass off as bacon in the now industry standard 375g packs that sell for like CA$5.99 (US$4.59/£3.18).

EDIT: Also sorry about the vacuum packed crime against nature that is the corn on the cob... :/ And, yep, Dollarama's our Poundland equivalent. Something like 900 stores now, with prices ranging up to CA$3.00 (£1.59/US$2.30), though they'll be adding tat at $4 by the end of the year, apparently, due to our shit Dollar and our shit economy. :(

[u/ultimatemisogynerd]

You can actually straight up make bacon on the microwave, no need for anything special.

Cut the slices not too thickly, place a paper towel on top of a plate, put the slices in the plate with no overlapping, put another paper towel on top of everything and lightly squeeze them together so the bacon is completely covered by the paper towels, put it on the microwave for 2-5 minutes on high, depending on how thick the slices are and how you like your bacon.

It will fry on its own fat and the paper towel will prevent the fat from escaping, so it just kind of drowns in it while frying. It won't blow up your microwave, but keep an eye on it just in case so you don't overcook your bacon.

[u/Sinfusion]

Ah, just as I was ready to go to sleep. Thanks Stuart.

[u/ULT_THEM_BITCHES]

i miss dan beeing on these :(

[u/[deleted]]

A quest to make everything taste like bacon

Oh shit, 2010 Reddit bought a foodstuffs plant!

[u/PsychoDuck]

I've never tried that microwave bacon before, but for some reason I always had the impression it wouldn't be that bad. Apparently my brain somehow didn't put together that $2 non-refrigerated bacon is a major red flag.