Men faking integrity | Talks with Tony

hey tony guys here now don't have a lot of time today because i got 40 minutes well that's a lot of time but i got a coach in literally 41 minutes so i'm gonna have to get on out of here at that time all right i got a letter i'm still going in order so now we've got to the next day all the talks with tony that you have seen to this point those were all questions from one day we finally crossed over to the next day by four minutes this one came in at 1204 am on that day so we're going in order say hello coach tony thank you for reading my letter that's supposed to have some faith now she know hello getting read after being married 18 years left due to husbands infidelity i am divorced and have been single for four years now i met my ex-husband at the age of 19 in college so dating is new to me all over again i took time to heal from the abandonment in my marriage and i'm ready now i've taken time to heal grow in knowledge and recently began dating again i have been applying all of the principles and knowledge you have shared continually working on and doing all with the three b's multiple streams of income and i am an educated career woman i am also writing my book in addition fitness and healthy eating has always been a way of life i have purchased your books and courses both for myself and my 21 year old who who soon to be attending medical school y'all doing good i don't know i'm staying off my back listening more collecting data and taking my time i live in beautiful southern california i have been meeting men who once they find out what i do for a living seem to want to capitalize off of me or run games so i go the other way i've met men at the grocery store on vacation out while i'm running at business networking events and even online not my cup of tea though i do get asked out on dates so i can choose which ones i'll accept it seems like nowhere i meet men there are a lot of opportunities and men running games and it seems to increase especially since i'm getting close to 50. i'm standing firm in my christian standards no men with vices no men who don't know what they want etc i'm dating with purpose i keep this to myself so that so they don't know it seems no matter how old or how successful or how educated men are i'm finding that there's a lot of faking faking character faking integrity and faking ambition and these men can fly under the radar for months i cut off as soon as i feel something in my spirit is off or they eventually give themselves away but it seems to be taking months these men will be consistent invite me around family and even invest their time and money no matter what the cost so much so they'll even have their actions line up with their words once the veil comes off and they can no longer keep it up i put on my track shoes okay you you og from you know back when i was doing the written q a on instagram tony why is it that the act men are showcasing can be kept so long is there something i can change or apply in the dating process to not have my valuable time wasted thank you god bless you your beautiful wife and lovely children all righty sent from my iphone okay now you're doing good for real now you got your iphone now now y'all's android samsung galaxy note please stop taking y'all so ready so i ain't successful y'all successful too but no i i i get it you know i used to have metro pcs okay my mama had cricket so i get it you climb on up you know the phone different prices y'all stop worrying about the wrong thing we talking about a email here we're not concerned with your cricut wireless if that's what you want to talk on that's totally fine you know that totally fine everybody got a choice no you see i'll stop taking offense to the wrong stuff now this is this is a good letter this is a good question now now see patty you sent in on your picture in here nice you you a little far back so it wasn't a head shot so i can't really see you patty i can't really see you now you in southern california okay you're in southern california all right you nearing 50 okay i don't know what southern california is you know if that's los angeles what cities are in southern [Music] california education what cities make up southern okay los angeles in there orange riverside san bernardino san diego san luis obispo okay kern imperial some of these ain't never heard of okay we just gonna call you la i know it's a difference now i'm probably between los angeles county and orange county and all of that but see california what they used to say about y'all was not good y'all know what they used to say about y'all now fruits nuts and flakes i do not know what that is i don't know what that mean i'm not agreeing with it that's okay don't try to get me counsel on the council culture i'm just saying that's just what they used to say i don't know what that means okay if you live in california maybe you know but one thing i've noticed about the men out there see sis nah i'ma tell you now it looked like okay look like you got a little something on your hips all right and your brown skin that right there that's gonna be part of the issue in southern california because it's it's getting real light out there okay it's so culturally diverse with all the hispanics with all the asians you know the whites and the blacks it's a lot of you know mixing now so it's a lot of in in 2050 california is going to be a lot of um light skin with color eyes because it's so me it's a melting pot so when you brown skin i've been noticing a lot of my clients who are brown skin you know you you like my color um of course it's a little small picture i can't really tell you like my color now i'm not this light okay i'm darker than this but i got light shining in my face okay so you like my color maybe a shade darker but but when i'm looking at you though i could see that bite it don't do looks great like this okay what i'm looking at that bite do this okay and i see that diet go up and it do this okay so you know you built how we were built in africa when i go to south africa what a lot of women paying for it's natural out there it's natural out there in south africa so since that's one thing you're running into when you meeting men who for one they already in southern california on a large scale don't really value you know a black woman in a lot of ways especially when you get close to either hollywood or if you close to a tech valley it is not going to be very praised and everybody know it but nobody like to talk about it i got a lot of clients out there that's uh african-american women who the dating who are not falling into all of the stuff that hollywood wants you to get into all of the injections and all of those things and they having a tough time dating meeting real men the reason why just like i did a video earlier today if you didn't watch it i was talking about the programming of men men are easily programmed and so if hollywood you in california this way it go down at if california's saying this is the look that we own right now men they so get so wrapped in that a trans to where that's all they see they just oh you ain't this complexion oh your hair ain't like this oh your eyes ain't like this oh you're shaping like this and they they they get stuck and so they meeting you and what's happening is like what you say when they find out what you do that a lot of men today especially on california so this this is regional specific to you everybody in california or everybody like in new york new york have some of the same struggles as california and yes it struggles everywhere houston dc atlanta everybody got their own struggle but when you're in a place that's is high net worth like the the median income is higher and the cost of living is higher so like my house a house my size in florida in california would be like my house that i paid 600 000 for this house would be 2 million 3 million in some areas in california like the houses out there that look for six hundred thousand in los angeles and stuff you know it it don't look like it looks here and so what's happening out there as well is you dating men some of them they're getting older and like you say they they faking character they faking integrity they faking ambition and reason why is because the number one thing that men worry about the number one thing that men worry about is money so when a man gets older he start to worry more about money and want like is my retirement gonna be secure have i made enough to live comfortable in retirement in california no no sir you have not i'm i hate to break it to you certain notes or you you you're retiring at 62. california okay you'll be broke by 70. all right so now these men they faking all this character in integrity because they looking for a woman that's going to help them get the 80 or 90 with your 401k you hear me with your portfolio okay so but here's the thing there's no way that there's nothing you could put in place that could shorten the time other than the obvious so in a situation like this this is what y'all got to do y'all tired of wasting time okay so what you have to do is you have to clearly identify your standards so if i was a woman let me se i'ma say no cursing i'mma say man of god okay i'm gonna say job i'm gonna say own place to live on transportation those five things right there off real all right then you look a little deeper you you nearing 50 so what you really want you want men who children is high school or older if he 48 with a 5 year old you have to go yeah you gotta go you mean no he doing too much slanging he got too much going on out here you got too much going on you see what i mean so in your age range this is another thing you're nearing 50 he need to be no less than no more than three years younger than you no more than three years younger than you so that's gonna cut out some of these men no more than five years older than you that's gonna cut out some of these men so now boom you ain't wasting as much time you're not wasting time you getting close to 50. so i'm i'm thinking you you 48 or 49 so you ain't dealing with a 56 year old you ain't dealing with 56 yo unless he just is too little for unless you look at that man and it just unless it's like that you got to you got to close the pool got to close the window a little bit so it'll save you more time because if you're sitting up here and you give three months to 58 year old then that's three months that they drain you some more so that when you make the 53 year old you cut the 53 yo off early because you because you drained from the 58 year old that you gave nine months you see what i mean so get very specific now first you got to write all this down you got to write all this down so that it get in your spirit you write it down you read it you read it you read it you get in your spirit and the way the mind works is your subconscious mind it's then going to pick up on this so that when you see a man who he's 65 you don't even see him you don't even see him he got to look his age might not be what it is but he got to look 47 let's just say you 50 just for the second hill video he got the look 47 to 55. if he look 25 you don't even see him if he look 35 you don't even see him if he looks 65 you don't even see him you see what i mean the way the subconscious mind work when you program it subconsciously then it becomes conscious when you now you committed to your dna your long-term memory so now you not even recognize what you're not looking for so think about this when you're looking at a new mercedes-benz you want to get your new toyota camry you want to get when you get your toyota camry now you notice every other toyota camry when you were driving the full runner you notice all the cameras now that you got a camera you know that every camera so when you get what you want when you write down what you want you gonna recognize that he gonna be jumping out at you it's like he's gonna have a glowing light around them and then the ones who fit outside of what you want it's like he gonna be under a dark cloud like he just in the black you can't even see him you see what i mean but you gotta have these standards so now you meet this man boom you get a little deeper in the sense of you got your standards but it's certain preferences that mean something okay so what i mean by this is if you like a man that call you if this man start out and he texts you hey how are you and all he want to do is test you to death and he text you all day he out of the picture he done because that's not a real man a real man gonna say hey how are you you say i'm doing great how are you saying i'm doing good you know would love to chat with you on the phone or facetime when you get some time boom a man who's serious bomb he getting right to it okay so you have little signs like this now see i can't go too too deep in this so that's why you might need coaching you might need coaching sometimes you might need full sessions but because i can't hit every single thing and the way women are i mean uh tony so you left out if he um so what about if he walks with his shoe untied because i feel like that says that he is sloppy and he's not a real man so is it okay if i put that on my list that if his shoes are untied it gotta go like you say tony got yo and i'm just like glory lord so no no it have to mean something in a real way you see what i mean it's some other thing that you're gonna put in there that you may have in there okay do a teeth look brush if he have if his teeth a little too gray a little too yellow gotta go gotta you don't take care of yourself if he got nose hats hanging out nose house hanging out and while he talking knows how just waving at you mm-hmm if he got ill-housed just a bush of eel a bush of hell hanging out the air ram in the bush got to go you don't take care of yourself you don't take care of yourself you don't take it if he ain't taking care of his skin if his face is completely dehydrated he got skin flaking off he got stuff flaking off his house is a mess that your house is messy okay you got a half eight peanut butter and jelly under the couch smelling like somebody died in your house all your food laid up under your couch everywhere without because you're not taking care of yourself you don't care enough about cleaning yourself up that let you know 10 more years you're going to be wiping that booty yeah can you get the bed so [ __ ] me squeeze the puss up because squeeze the plus out of it and why hey i feel a little moist between the cheeks can you get on one of them wipes just wipe me cuz you know how many hemorrhoids acting up is that perfect h well you got preparation teeth that burn you see what i'm saying he coming now nose house everywhere ill house ever well he on him take care t yellow brown smell breath you could smell it bro you trying to talk to them so yeah so how are things going with you then he well you know when he hit that well well you know oh really you holding your breath you oh nothing wrong with me i just gotta look like i have to look at look at you so i'm saying you go boom that's the first night that's the first date so it's stuff like this that you got to add in there that you pick up on because see as a woman a lot of times y'all look over a lot of the stuff that speaks to him his quality of life now see and see now when you get a little deep in your coaching session we'll get a little deeper but okay if this man say he worked for google all right and he work in programming you go you go and google that okay salary 110 to 230 all right he said he made 110 to 230. at 1 10 or 2 30 just a certain way you're going to dress it's a certain way you're going to dress you're going to get a little nicer of a shoe oh what's honey what is he just not in the fast he ain't got to have on d or you hit me but he need to lee have on ken of cole you know what i'm saying this you ain't got to call 900 like mine but kahin in the fashion my wife in the fashion so i'm gonna have the ore okay but he might have kena cole just simple nice elegant 100 120 dollar boom bro don't come here with them pay less shoes on because that lets you know something he got on board oh i thought man the light went shoes on oh my goodness what kind of shoes is the soul flapping he got the soul flapping so he walking the soul flapping you're like good now and there's some man that's like that guess what that let you know he too frugal when you want to go to prague when you want to go to bali he gonna be uh i really don't think that's necessary you know we could go right here to the ball harbor in florida still to bali what about bald harbor instead of bali that's way cheaper you should have caught it you should have caught it so what you doing this is how men read women so see i'm putting up you putting you all up on gang because a lot of y'all don't do this you got to read everything if i if if if a mess meet a woman and her wig sitting like this just ever so slightly got to go got to go she forgot get that weird scrape if a do like this she's doing this too much gotta go the brave too old and brave to either too old uh or uh your hanging watch your house he just going to assume something i could because they too tighten them but then she and this looks the braid is looking a little stale and so oh she's you go to scratching and the hat go to doing like this i mean that that lace front that weird go to doing like this why are you dandruff falling out he gone that's what y'all have to do as women see a lot of times you come and the man nails looked like a kindergarten and he been out at the playground just yeah let's make a sand castle and he said no he go to eat and all you see is just dirt but this ain't lunch break he just get done working out on the construction site this this friday night this friday night see i got my hand like this trying to let y'all see my cartier rain this friday night so he's sitting there friday night and you like wow so some of y'all what y'all do is well that's just me you know he probably a man's man no no he nobody man he's not a mass man or a woman's man barely gods man he dirty you see what i'm saying so you have to put when you get up here around 50 you got to be a lot more particular because you got to understand you're going to be wiping this man booty okay 75 80 you might have to be wiping his booty so or spending your money putting him on your disability insurance to have a cna around the clock so now you're depleting your worth you tap it into your 401k take care of him so you got to read all of this okay now this other thing what i'm going to tell you what you got to do all right i got to be going in 17 minutes yeah there's other thing i want to tell you what you got to do you have to have a timeline now see this the one thing so you can read everything you want to read and you're going to miss some stuff because you're not a man you're not me okay i'm a man i understand me i know how to read man you're gonna be able to do it to that level okay but you're gonna be good enough at it but regardless of whether you're good or bad at it the most you got to decide the most you're going to give a man does he know let me tell you now let me tell you a man no a man know if you his wife in the first month he knows you his wife in the first month okay i don't know if you know he he your husband because i'm not a woman so i don't know how what y'all know but i know a man know if you're his wife in the first month all right the next thing is okay a man could fake for about three months a man can fake for about three months 90 days and you got to talk every single day okay if a man don't call you a one of the days he it need to be because he was on a submarine under the water and they had no signal down now other than that game over or he need to have been in the hospital okay on the iv and was knocked down okay other than that got to go if a man is into you he will not let a sun rise and go down without calling you listen to what i'm telling you a lot of y'all don't want to hit oh well that's kind of creepy i don't want to talk to a man every day you don't want a relationship then what you think marriage is you see the same person every single day you talk them every single day so you got to do the same thing when you build them so it's stuff like this what i'm trying to tell you okay so what i would do now when i'm getting 50 when i'm getting when i'm pushing 50 if i was seeing a woman pushing 50 i'm gonna give playboy by two months max three months that's for that's three months that's the 21 year olds could you go live by that the 25 year olds could live by that not be married but you know the man say hey will you be mine will you be my girlfriend and then everything check out that three month mark the older he get the more pristine he ought to be the more well-rounded he ought to be the more he should know the more decisive he should be the more confident he should be if you're dealing with grown boy behavior around 50 he's a grown boy indeed so you got to go okay and now here's another thing that i need you to understand now i always tell y'all don't judge a man by his currency by his money judge him by his character let his character be his currency but at 50 yes at 50 he need to have some things so it's okay finances matter so that's the thing you say you do real good you got multiple streams of income okay you got multiple streams of income uh huh i like that last name uh huh now it looked like it looked like your sorority sister because this looked like a sorority jacket that the trim on the uh wrist right there and around the bottom mud like the hill cardigan they look like a sorority jacket but i don't see no green it's green and white i mean i don't see no pink so so i don't know if that's sorority jacket or ivy league or just a little classic outfit it's a classy outfit now and i like the way you wear your hair and i like i like the way you dress that's a nice outfit so you right there now you ready you ready but i'm gonna tell you what though the other issue that you're facing and now this is hard to hear the other issue that you're facing is that you're a black woman and what i mean by is people gonna try you because black in america and you got an american last name sorta kinda could be an island you could be you know jamaican or something but when you black in america everybody assumed that you had trauma from your ancestors being slaves so and everybody know that the black woman in america has historically been treated the worst at the bottom of the totem pole because before we got into you know hispanic and you know asian and things like that like i don't know where the hispanics was when blacks were slaves so i don't know if mexicans were here when blacks were slaves because i'll be honest with you mexicans work harder than us the mess can be ver king you hear me when i meet the mexican man i hear what he boy why can't keep up why you work hard my goodness where did work ethic come from anybody who come to work on my house it might be a black man who owned a company or a white man who owned a company but a whole crew is mexican i say now that's wrong man that's wrong that's wrong it need to be mexicans owning these companies it needs to be somebody who is teaching these men english so that they can pass that general contracting test and get that license and they can own their company because they doing all the work they wrong for that but that's not neither here nor there but this is the truth and let you let me let y'all understand the truth is offensive the truth do hurt sometimes so don't be in my comment because you will get blocked immediately about the truth that i see this my page for my truth that i see okay might not be your truth start you a page because you will get blocked on mine so just keep it to yourself i don't want to hear that is not true it is a million mexican men own general contract i'm sure they are not where i stay at though so listen to what i'm telling you all right as a black woman people gonna try you so you got to keep doing exactly what you're doing but you got to understand that's why i hate trying you because they know black women have been over over historically have been marginalized have been taken advantage of have been used have been mistreated not only by other races but by their own men so black women have historically been seen as the right or die woman so a man feel like a man will go and treat a mexican a caucasian a black man will go and treat a mexican a caucasian a asian better than he treat a black woman because he see the way the world has treated you historically now black women out earning black men smarter than black men more successful than black men got more going on you got a 21 year old getting ready to go to med school you then broke the mold it sound like you don't come from slavery if you do that's even more commendable it sounds like you come from an island or another country you know africa or one of the islands because you don't broke the mold black americans do this too but the struggle is different because you direct descendant of slaves in america that's a whole nother conversation a lot of people don't want to believe that but that what that's what the lit read okay so that's another thing that they trying you for but you have to it's time now for black women to stop feeling less than to stop feeling like you got to do more like you got to give more like you got to sleep with a man and own your privilege oh yeah you got privilege from god not from man you got it from god know who you are walk in your strength walking your beauty walk in your class and i don't care if you turn 60 i don't care if you turn 70 stick to your standards do not compromise your standard you say i'm standing firm in my christian standards no men with vices no men who don't know what they want etc i'm dating with purpose i'm keeping this to myself so they don't know you doing good you say no matter how successful young or old see the thing is they have a grown man in them but they are grown but they showed a grown boy they showed a grown boy because they so used to women settling they so used to women putting up a good front putting up this front this bluff but not really being about that life it sound like you about that life in this period of your life you definitely are a wife you was married 18 years you wouldn't have got married to begin with if you want the wife it just your man did not evolve and mature and become a grown man so guess what he lost you you left you left him you left a man after 18 years that say to me you are very strong you've been single for years now if you had a husband for 18 years that mean you could have got a husband the next six months the next year if you just wanted a warm body you don't want a warm body you want a real man you snag your husband in at 19. that let me know that you classy that your wife head to toe because men don't think about no marriage round on 19 okay and yeah y'all probably was together for some time but he knew you was the one when he met you nah you made a mistake with your husband so you didn't learn from that because 18 50 minus 18 40 minus 8 32 you met at 19. so that mean if y'all met at 19 yeah i don't know if y'all were together from 19 to 32. oh no you've been four years so we still looking at okay okay 28 so y'all got married relatively soon in that in their 20s y'all got married because you've been singing so that take us back to you know 28. so y'all got married you know in a decent time timeline but the thing is he knew you was a wife but he didn't know he wasn't a man so he wanted you but he couldn't do what it took to keep you that wasn't your fault so just watch that that water under the bridge going about your business okay i got hurt now okay i got six minutes so now listen to me keep all your standards what you want to do here is set you a timeline that you can afford and to each their own for some women she could she'll say i got three months if this man passed all the initial tests if he check out everything okay teeth look decent okay job car place to stay it don't gotta be a house it could be apartment place to stay finances look like they match you can't have no man who say he the store manager at foot locker which you know earned at the most 15 20 hour but he's driving he driving a a rafe a rolls royce rafe that costs 400 000 get my calculator y'all got to forgive my alarm went off from a coaching call because i thought i might be taking a nap and it cut them off now so you see them and finances match up can't be making 20 hours in a rafe you know what i'm saying and then he also should not be making 400 000 a year and he uh riding an old beat down jalopy because that means he got a scarcity mindset that means he got a real frugal mindset and unless you got the same mindset now if you want if at 400k you're gonna get your benz you're gonna get you a luxury car then that's not your husband you said i mean so if everything checked out he still could be playing a role he still could be lying he still could be faking okay so then you set a timeline for your life bit depending on how much time you got to give you don't sound desperate you don't sound desperate in the least so that let me know you can afford the three months you can give a man if he pass all the initial tests you can afford the three months so giving them three okay give them them three and then what you gonna take and do is at day 91 you do a evaluation of the relationship and you decide to promote demo or terminate so promote him okay y'all going to the next level of trust of honesty of openness demote him okay you get a little distant you're a little too busy every other day every few days you still ain't sleeping with them you kind of let them know you don't really know if this is gonna work and terminate that mean you completely done you not seen too much now you know you done hey this isn't going to work i don't want to waste your time all my time i got to go so this isn't going to work i'm going to let you go you don't say it the way i said it said the way you said okay boom if you get promoted a little bit more honestly a little bit more openness this don't mean opening of the lid that's don't mean that okay all right so then what we're gonna do is now you're gonna take another three month no after the first three months now you're going to evaluate every 30 days because now you're in crunch time because he may fake for for 90 days day 91 he passed the evaluation he gets a promotion but now once he get there and you open up a little bit more you laugh a little bit more you're a little bit more open he may start to see that get a little relaxed get a little comfortable get a little complacent and he start to show real colors what a lot of women do wrong is you let him ride off them 90 days worth of work but then day 120 he then went downhill and you still giving him credit for what he did in the first 90 because you fell for him in the first 90 now day 120 day 150 day 180 he didn't went downhill it's looking real bad now it's it's not looking like it was looking but you still giving him credit for the first 90. you see what i'm saying hey so now i got to go i got to coach in two minutes and i got two coaching calls back to back so but so y'all see now it's a science and i and i left a whole lot out listen i'm outdoor world get back regular i'm about to do a whole day seminar on this here you say i'm saying you would y'all meet me in somebody's city somebody a hotel ballroom had your notebooks and i'm gonna lay it all the way out to you because i'm gonna tell you like right here i'm telling right here i don't care i don't care who it is i don't care who it is they ain't gonna they ain't gonna go deep is what the lord and gave me to go but i i just only have one hour at a time i'm joking started so and that's what annoyed me uh you forgot to say that i didn't say half of what i had to say but it just would be ridiculous for me to be making two hour three hour four hour video y'all complaining about the one hour having too many ads how many ads you think will be in a two-hour video so hey i got to go so listen to this again twice get this in your spirit and at live in your mind not if you got the right kind of sense if you know i really ain't got no kind of sense let me just get a session get go on my mentor.like book a session if you can't if you want to go this deep you don't have to do the session with me but if it's just some surprise level any culture any culture do hey god bless you we'll talk soon

Channel: Tony Gaskins

Views: 46,554

Rating: 4.9267092 out of 5

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Id: C2SRBuIZP_Y

Length: 39min 41sec (2381 seconds)

Published: Fri Dec 04 2020