The Worst Conspiracies On YouTube (TheRichest)

when we think of rich youtubers who've taken it too far we all think of the same person right no no no not logan paul or his brother Jake today we're talking about a different YouTube Maverick by the name of Jarvis Johnson this is Jarvis Johnson don't forget his name we all know Jarvis from his breakout role as the evil stem teacher in high school musical the musical the series but did you know he's been awful for way longer than that wasn't real is anything real mr. YouTube what are you doing here I didn't mean to startle you but it's time to make a video I thought you said I could leave and I thought a top ten list for YouTube rewind was a good idea oh yeah I imagine right now you're feeling a bit like Alice tumbling down the rabbit hole huh no I know I just really have to go this is a simulation Jarvis you can go wherever you want oh okay let me tell you why you're here you're here because you know something what you know you can't explain but you feel it you felt it your entire life yo are you peeing right now what the [ __ ] what it's a simulation right Jesus no I was joking it's down the hall to the left I should really put up a sign hello and welcome back to the Internet was a mistake I'm exhausted today I want to talk about something that has plagued me for as long as I can remember or at least a year or so why are there so many top 10 channels and why have none of them gone away honestly I don't know if top 10 is the right term a lot of them call themselves facts channels but you know what I'm talking about right like facts verse be amazed other ones also whatever they are they're like the YouTube equivalent of tabloids they'll talk about trending topics or celebrity gossip but also how to make the best tinfoil hat so that the government can't get into your thoughts wake up sheeple I talk a lot about new fresh and frankly adorable little baby content farms that spring to life and gain millions of subscribers over only a couple of months but today we're talking about what happens when content farms reach middle age when the strategies you use to abuse the algorithm have fallen ineffective but you still need to make awful content as quickly as possible because I mean who's gonna stop you me I don't exist most of these channels are exactly the same because I mean just look at them but I've chosen to pick on the richest today because the best example I could find of nothing content that is technically they're the richest describes themselves as a channel made to watch videos of unbelievable but amazing facts about the most interesting people on earth I can only assume they're talking about rich people because what else could they be we either you want to learn about the lifestyle of famous celebrities how they spend their millions the most expensive things in the world secret military technology money topics and even some of the strange discoveries we've got you covered they really don't know how to order a list for dramatic effect this dinner tonight it's gonna be [ __ ] amazing for starters we have fresh lobster which is a chef's kiss straight from bikini bottom then we've got some pasta mmm good and don't forget about the rolls which are baked like bread often is and finally to top it all off we have tap water as a drink now you might have assumed from the description the title the avatar the banner of the richest is about rich people well kinda some of their videos are about rich and famous celebrities like Dwayne the rock Johnson and well they have a lot of videos about Dwayne the rock Johnson no relation in fact I've looked at data from their past 50 videos because I'm a little nerd boy and I found that only five videos of the last 50 have anything to do with rich people which sounds bad until you realize that it's the same number of videos that they've made about Antarctica so it's worse the videos on the richest employ an ancient technique known as [Music] Kalika by so the difference with this channel is just how completely disconnected the content of the video is from the title and thumbnail it's almost as if the person making the titles and thumbnails hasn't seen the video and the person making the video has no idea what the video is about because the clickbait isn't even compelling it's just inaccurate 15 weird rules the NBA forces on players what do you think this video is about the thumbnail is a man with one shaved armpit so that invites a lot of questions is that a thing maybe for aerodynamics dunking you know can't have the wind resistance it's like how swimmers shave NBA players shave their armpits what their dunking harm imagine you're an NBA player you're in the middle of the game the other team is driving towards the net in a panic you reach out to try to take control of the ball but then the whistle blows because you threw a punch at the ball hold on you can't you can't punt a basketball that's no sport of mine the game starts with a jump all the players are tense and ready and when that ball comes down things get hectic these are just the rules of basketball one of the most well-known is the 10 second free-throw cap the 15 weird rules the NBA forces on its players are the rules of the game that the players play ask for official rules a player can't have his foot off the court so the players can't play out of bounds nor can a player run out of bounds and they can't kick the ball come on NBA let the players kick the ball don't be such a cop the complete disconnect between the title of the video and the content itself is evident in most of their videos but I have to show you this next one which is called 11 things grams you can't live without because I can't believe someone made it on purpose when you've got money flowing out of your ears as one of the richest and most famous celebrity chefs in the world forking out an extra couple of bucks for guacamole on your chipotle burrito is never going to be at the top of your list of Aries what the hell is happening I feel like I'm being hypnotized now who are we kidding our boy Gordon Ramsay probably wouldn't even touch that stuff anyway because he's a classy eater so far we're about twenty second set of the video and nothing has really been said yet but we are talking about Chipotle for some reason so that's nice if little angelic MasterChef junior style Gordon on one shoulder and demonic Hell's Kitchen style mr. Ramsay on the other let's cook up a storm and dive straight into the SuperDuper insanely expensive things that this potty-mouth owns so these are the SuperDuper expensive things that Gordon Ramsay owns not the things you can't live without which is fine but most of the things on this list are cars this will be the last car we talked about we'd pinkie swear promise and like okay I guess Gordon Ramsay is into cars but only one space on this list is reserved for his family which he doesn't own by the way and is also surprisingly low on the list considering his family is at number five and number one well that is reserved for Gordon Ramsay's amazing staff that worked tirelessly at his restaurants all around the world just kidding that goes to his watch 20,000 smackaroonies I guess if the Ramsey family wants their father's love and affection they'll have to watch themselves at number 11 say hello to one of the most expensive cars in his collection coming in at a jealousy inducing price tag of 180,000 dollars we say one of the most expensive because well he's up to his nose and everything from Ferraris to Canyon arrows also they write in a lot of jokes or at least what I assumed to be jokes because the narrator delivers them so flatly the Vedas come off as lies and supposedly even has a Flintstone mobile or - I don't know why they claimed that Gordon Ramsay has the car from The Simpsons and the car from the Flintstones because did a little googling and it turns out that those things are cartoons so he doesn't have them fun fact Gordon Ramsay has run more marathons than probably all of us combined and you can't tell just take a sneaky look at his calves feels like somebody is holding a gun to the narrator's head and he just has to keep saying words or else he's got a lot of cars so many cars from Ferraris to the car from The Simpsons and he's also got Flintstone cars which means he must run a lot have I mentioned he's a runner too please don't shoot I have a family they get sidetracked almost exclusively and keep having to rein themselves back in anyway back to the point at hand as if we want to hear any more information about the Bentley Continental the Bentley Continental aesthetics wise is probably one of his more low-key cars Oh Gordon is actually a dude of pretty simple tastes not like mild hot sauce on your tongue kind of tastes but we mean that he doesn't have a massive need for all of the finer things in life uh didn't aren't we compiling a list of expensive [ __ ] that he owns he's got money to burn no doubt so he does splurge but he isn't always like Hey look what I have I'm so rich la dee da what on earth is going on would anybody say that well I guess it is coming directly out of Gordon's mouth so must be true the Continental is full of luxury tech-savvy features like its own Wi-Fi network anyway back to the Continental again we're still on number 11 and it's been two minutes but don't you worry cuz now it's time for number 10 which is also a car vroom vroom we're shifting gears from luxury up to all-out I catcher with a car that's worth more than most of our entire lives a one-of-a-kind hyper speedy mega fancy supercharged Ferrari f12berlinetta berliner just seeing that word for the first time he reads the script like he doesn't know what word is coming next vroom vroom were shifting gears from luxury up to all-out I catcher with a car that's worth more than most of our entire lives one-of-a-kind mega fancy supercharged gataki hyper cool mega dope coolest beans Ferrari f12berlinetta my bad assuming that Gordy went down to wait do you mind if we call you Gordy mr. Ramsey call us within the next three seconds if you have an issue with it okay cool I promise I didn't edit this at all the video just addresses Gordon Ramsay directly and then cuts to Family Guy because that's what they wanted to do wow what a world we live in so many of these videos will just cut to irrelevant clips of a movie or TV show and I don't know why the f12berlinetta shaves almost a whole darn second off that total at a touch under three seconds that's like almost as fast as it took us to finish that pint of Ben and Jerry's cookie dough ice cream last night when we discovered how many fancy cars they actually destroyed in the Fast and Furious films okay now it feels like the script is being written in real time we could keep rambling on about his expensive car collection and they will but they've got to talk about Gordon Ramsay's family now just for a second but not without first mentioning his infidelities even though he's had his share of controversy and infidelity in the past Gordon has shown that family is what matters most to him we heard that he bribed Cupid to get back on tannaz good side but that's just a rumor we read in a fortune cookie at Panda Express I mentioned before that the jokes are flat and humorless which they are but have I also mentioned that they have this weird meta world building aspect to them like for example the narrator accidentally caused Gordon Ramsay Jamie Oliver haha it could be a joke but the narrator doesn't address it for like a couple of minutes it wouldn't be a Jamie Oliver video if we didn't talk about one of his restaurants right and then they blame their mistake on their non-existent stock photo in turn hold up we've just received a telegram saying that we accidentally said Jamie Oliver instead of Gordon Ramsay again we are officially blaming that one on our inept intern Billy also before the video ends the narrator has to catch a bus to go to his grandma's house speaking of taking the bus miner Ives in two minutes so we need to wrap this up like ASAP like right now otherwise grandma is gonna yell at me for being late again why are we given this information who is this man so in closing the 11 things that Gordon Ramsay can't live without have you been keeping track they haven't four expensive cars two houses one family a watch and 35 restaurants depending on how you count that's either five nine or forty three things but if you add that four and three together you get seven and five seven and nine are an odd series and what's the next number in that series 11 that is how you count in doing research of this video I learned that the richest is owned by a company Canadian company I think called Val net and I learned this by going to the website in this guy's email and there I found out that Val net also owns a bunch of YouTube channels that you may have heard of the richest obviously Screen Rant that's probably one of their biggest ones the talk oh the things one of my favorites it's a lot it's a lot mom's calm anyway as I've stated many times before these channels are all the same except for they're slightly different audiences which is funny to me because they'll just do like the same video formats across all of their channels but then just shift the subject matter a little bit the things has ten strict rules the cast of stranger things must follow and the bender has strict rules the cast of stranger things have to follow so those are the same also Screen Rant same same video actually just exactly the same video a place of cutting innovation and fierce digital content experts Valmet is taking editorial and video publishing to the next level I know mr. Carl salesmen I would like one fast coffees do you have a fast car that I can buy with my money I have a lot of money next level to me another thing I wanted to talk about is this channels relationship with fax but it's actually it's actually really hard for me to discuss because not a lot of you know this fax tragically died during the production of this video yeah they they were on the set of 11 things the rock secretly enjoys and they lost consciousness i luckily Gordon Ramsay was there and got into his Flintstone car to take facts to the hospital but unfortunately there was nothing that here is giant calves could yabba-dabba-doo so many of you may recall that the richest has amazing videos which is obvious and mind-blowing facts rest in peace so you're probably wondering what my problem is oh those last 50 videos that I mentioned earlier five were about rich people understandably and another five were about Antarctica another five an additional five were about the FBI FBI finally solves the cold case of DB Cooper FBI finally solves the Jimmy Hoffa cold case and FBI finally confirm existence of Bigfoot and Declassified files all of this is news to me as it is likely news to you but it is also news to the FBI and I get it because as I've said before lying for clickbait on YouTube is a tradition as old as this rare photograph of Walt Disney's plans to kill goofy this is one of their actual videos this is what Orson what I don't understand is why they would lie about hyper specific stuff that is easily disproven this video is technically from the taco but as we've discussed they're the same ten strict rules ariana grande must follow on tour uh-oh whoa so goofy one of the many things we love about Ariana Grande is that she seems to play by her own rules whether she's rocking onesie or donning her favorite cat ears but that doesn't mean there aren't any rules this thing's pop star has to follow I'm sure I could think of a few um well she's definitely got a rest her voice that she's got so many tour dates um probably has some quirky pre-show traditions as many touring artists do and let's see she's not allowed to text me back on tour that's definitely one of her rules if you're wondering which side of her face ariana grande fingers it's unequivocally her right side this star knows how to pose and what type of lighting brings out her features the best guys I am seeing a lot of photos of the right side of her face on Instagram like she must hate this somebody somebody text ariana ah now I could do it because I do have her number of course but someone else do it anyway where their relationship with facts really flies off the handle is in their videos about conspiracies in the paranormal did scientists confirm aliens from Antarctica no they didn't because if the aliens were from Antarctica they would be aliens they'd be earthlings and that's the only problem I have with this video pilot confirmed strange time travel over Bermuda I know pilots have a cool job and all but I'm pretty sure they don't have the authority to confirm time travel okay what do I know I'm just a simulation people have been trying to solve the mystery of the Bermuda Triangle for years in the space between Florida Bermuda and the great Antilles more than 50 ships and 20 airplanes have gone missing not to belittle it but that's not that mini right way over what time period oh yeah no it doesn't even crack the top 10 of most dangerous places for ships over the course of nearly 70 years multiple theories have been tossed around some going as far as to chalk it up to alien abduction okay well that escalated quickly you could make anything scary with conspiracy music and like a thud some going as far as to chalk it up to my friends yeah even Christopher Columbus wrote about it in his journals oh [ __ ] Christopher Columbus wrote about this that that guy who was famously right all the time and knew exactly where he was today we'll go back through history to solve the mystery and most importantly we will cover the story of the pilot who flew through it and lived to tell the tale oh [ __ ] they found somebody who flew through and lived to tell the tale really impressive considering only hundreds of planes fly through that area every day and then we'll talk to the man who crossed the street outside my apartment and lived to tell the tale in 1918 the biggest ship of the u.s. Navy disappeared called the USS Cyclops well that's crazy what happened to it Coast Guard never received a distress call and just like that 300 passengers vanished whoa but strange is that no wreckage was found no life preservers no debris nothing oh man usually when stuff gets lost at the bottom of the ocean it's really easy to find so what happened I am personally tempted to humor the thought of sea monsters existing though it's tempting to humor the thought of sea monsters existing we have our own theories of what really happened oh it could have been hit by a German submarine because the First World War was going on at that time sorry it was during wartime you didn't think that was relevant to mention earlier there is someone who can shed some light on what happens when you enter the Bermuda Triangle oh is it one of these guys they um fly through the Bermuda Triangle every day in December of 1970 Oh fifty years ago yeah no that's definitely relevant the experienced pilot Bruce Gernon set off to fly from Andros Island to Palm Beach Florida we are going to lightning strike he was joined by two passengers and as I took off at 3:00 p.m. they had no idea what was in store for them they had no idea what was in store for them I hope they knew they were taking a plane ah this long car is taking flight as the plane gained altitude it was met with a thunderstorm gathering over the Gulf Stream oh and there was a storm going on was it wartime also it was then that strange things started to happen as they entered the tunnel he recounts that strange lines started to form something about time was altered as well Oh something about time was altered that sounds scientific after they exited the tunnel the nightmare wasn't over they entered into a fog that surrounded the plane was it white and fluffy and cloud like in nature but something wasn't right the plane should have been over the Gulf Stream and yet it was miraculously close to its destination a trip that usually takes an hour and a half took only 47 minutes let me get this straight the story is that 50 years ago a pilot landed at his destination 30 minutes early and the only reasonable explanation is time travel Bruce thought something might be off so when they reached the ground he checked the tank sure enough there was more fuel in the tank than expected meaning that they did somehow enter some sort of time jump is this what pilots mean whenever a flight is a little early this is your captain speaking we've just touched down in sunny Los Angeles about ten minutes ahead of schedule now for those wondering how I accomplish such a feat we managed to pop into a large-scale vortex formation that allows us the time travel a little bit please keep your seatbelts on as we taxi to the gate there's no evidence that this happened by the way it's just one guy's word and even if he's not miss remembering events from 50 years ago time travel seems like a bit of a stretch even if this was absolutely true and every unverified claim was 100% real our only evidence of time travel would be that some guy saved a few gallons of gas one time actually she changed the title of this video since I watched it last and now it's even more misleading before it was called pilot confirmed strange time travel over Bermuda and now it's called Bermuda Triangle plane caught in time warp finally lands finally it lands it only took 47 minutes after takeoff 50 years ago so in closing they oh they just published a new video if they polish like once a day at least and this one is called new evidence finally reveals the real reason the Titanic sank I'm curious I mean I think it's the iceberg right I saw the movie the Titanic catastrophe is one of the most famous and most tragic ship disasters in all of history until now the story was clear the Titanic scraped against an iceberg which flooded the ship causing it to sink to the bottom of the ocean you mean to tell me it wasn't an iceberg perhaps the iceberg was not at fault at all rather a [ __ ] built and plenty of criminal negligence who were build boo-boos so anyway this video is bad obviously it is from this channel huh-huh you've seen the video I assume they're eventually gonna get to the real reason that the Titanic sank there we have it the real reason the Titanic sank was Jarvis Johnson ah pretty funny actually we have the same name what you are about to see is a recently uncovered video that has never been seen before I finally done it i javis Johnson have successfully sunk to be unsinkable ship my name which by the way is Travis Johnson will live on throughout history in perpetuity and never to be forgotten or mistaken for any other job as Johnson's which is my me now if you'll humor me I'd like to tell you my master plan using a large scale vortex formation I'm going to time travel a few minutes at a time until I have 100 years in the future and once I'm there I will hide in plain sight at something called a YouTube celebrity not sure what that means yeah that's a 19-12 but I assure you I'll figure it out something something those dinosaurs got what was coming to that no one will ever forget the magnificent feat I've accomplished it's not what it looks like yeah actually Jarvis it is thanks for watching 12 ways Jarvis Johnson has ruined history subscribe to the Jarvis for more videos about the worst person in the world oh sorry it was Eisley let's go to the [ __ ] bathroom I have to Febreze the matrix hey everyone I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for watching this far and also thank you to her girly girl for sending a message on Instagram I have no idea if I'm saying that right if you'd want me to butcher your name send me a message on Instagram and heck want to keep the good times roll and you can go ahead and watch one of my other videos there sure are a lot of those anyway I've got to get going just kidding I'm trapped in this end screen and can't leave so I hope you have a great day and enjoy your YouTube browsing / life because I can't good bye

Channel: Jarvis Johnson

Views: 2,164,945

Rating: 4.9613652 out of 5

Keywords: jarvis, jarvis johnson, comedy, therichest, the richest

Id: QLv7SkInz70

Length: 25min 33sec (1533 seconds)

Published: Tue Jan 14 2020