Kids, When Did You Realize Your Parents Are Ignorant? (r/AskReddit)

kids when did you realize your parents might be terminally stupid I asked my mom for Super Mario all-stars on the Super Nintendo for my eighth or ninth birthday she had no idea what I was talking about so I explained what the game was for those who may not know it had all the original nez Mario games Super Mario World and one other Mario game that I think was previously and released the snez was still new so games were expensive but that was literally all I had asked for so I was fairly confident a couple of weeks went by and I didn't think really think much about it on my birthday I came home from school to a big wrapped box much bigger than the game I tore into it and open up the box to find an old Nintendo next to that were cartridges for the first three Mario games I was so confused mum it's exactly what you wanted me it is mum yes I took your Super Nintendo and to the swap meet and traded it and for the games that he wanted it's been over 20 years and she hasn't gotten any better this I post has genuinely made me recoil in horror well done every Friday my mother goes grocery shopping it's a block away and she usually drives there on this particular day after she finished shopping she decides to walk back the next morning she wakes me and my father up to let us know her car was stolen cops come we fill out paperwork and in the meanwhile she gets a rental car that's not even the best part the following Friday she drives a game to the grocery market and parks right next to her stolen car which is a champagne colored Mitsubishi diamante not such a common car cover she comments how similar the car looks like husband makes nothing of it a few days later the cops call us to let us know the car is in the grocery stores parking lot one block away yay I got plenty of other stories but that's probably the best one I feel like that's a sign of something more serious when I was in fourth grade my mother insisted helping with my homework for some reason I was always a smart kid I never needed help but she forced me to let her help she proceeded to redo my math and spelling homework and I failed both assignments I told her those answers were wrong and she fought me on it when I got to school I cried and told the teacher my mom made me put wrong answers and I told her I knew the right ones but my mom forced me to let her help the teacher laughed took my paper and asked me the questions after I got to write immediately she marked everything on the page wrong and gave it back to me she told me not to worry she put 100% in the grade book she just wanted me to show that one to my mom not my parents but one of my dad's cousins was talking to us about how to daughter and her son-in-law were having a baby but that she was worried about it because the son-in-law is deaf and she was concerned their child would be deaf too the conversation continued and she then disclosed that the son-in-law is deaf because of a head injury from a bad car accident he was in when he was a teenager my dad who is a doctor kept trying to reassure her that this was not possible but she basically thought that you pass on to your kids whatever physical attributes your body has at the time you can see them regardless of how your body got that way my mom broke into my dad's house with a gun pooped her pants while in the house and left the crappy pants on the stairs I'm glad I read this my dad is an teve accent a flat earther he thinks he's very smart good example are dunning-kruger effect he's also very stubborn he got into an argument with my brother and I about whether it was possible for us to travel faster than the speed of light and other physics stuff his reasoning was they did it in Star Trek it can happen in real life not joking either my dad crashed his car at 8 a.m. on his way to work because he was surprised at a naked woman streaking across the road when the police turned up and asked what happened he explained that he ended up crashing as he wasn't sure if he really just saw a naked women or if he was still drunk from the night before and that is how he lost his driver's license because oddly enough there was a naked woman and he was still drunk at least he waited for the police to show up stepdad sees one of those tear jerker commercials about starving children in Africa proceeds to rant about how there's plenty of animals to hunt in Africa and why don't they just eat literally shouting at the TV eat just eat in high school grades were posted online dad wanted to check how poorly I was doing I told him the Internet is closed because it was after 5 p.m. should have inspect element' 'add screenshotted then showed that after the internet closes when my mom said she just couldn't figure out why my aunt didn't like her after my mom borrowed 100 dollars from her to buy us food and spent it on cigarettes and beer still another $20 from her to buy a DVD and then hit my dad in the face with a frying pan if your six-year-old can figure it why you can't then maybe you're incurable stupid not my parents but my great whatever family my grandfather was adopted and at one point he inherited some stuff from his adoptive grandmother his arm sued him for a claiming he wasn't actually a member of the family because he's adopted then later would call and never understood why my grandfather refused to talk to her the court found in favor of my grandfather bTW my dad doesn't believe in carbon monoxide poisoning my mom can't use the decimal point on a calculator dad thinks carbon monoxide is a scam to sell detectors and appliances I rented a place from my parents that had an old heater and it leaked the first time I use it my roommates and I woke up feeling horrible by sheer luck I realized what it was the fire department had to threaten my dad to get him to fix the problem mum likes to do the calculator thing her way if you ask why I think she gets confused when the last zero disappears but math without it is actually worse obviously and some of my most vivid childhood memories are her screaming at people on the phone because her numbers didn't match her balance it was a monthly thing years ago I was building a potato cannon which my father was uninterested in thinking it was just stupid until he saw me working on it in the garage I have the cannon and device and had just put in an electronic barbecue igniter and wired to some bolts inside to get a good spark suddenly he's very interested I had just managed to get a perfect gap with a strong Arkin T says wait let go of the button for a second and sprays quick start basically aerosol ether and goes okay hit it now nothing happened both ends of the cannon are open so it's just a tube and the quick start he sprayed just dissipated too quick okay hold the button for a sec I'm not even thinking about what he's about to do at this moment and he aims the spray right at the live arc and created a fireball that came straight for his face singing his one eyebrow and corner of his mustache I can't imagine what he thought was going to happen just like the simulations when they gave my college fund to a preacher so he could send Bibles to Nicaragua ouch my parents got hit by the second Microsoft Tech Support scam this week my dad insists NLM's are worthy investments and genuinely believes the whole family has especially he missed a letter the whole family has ESPN when she was fully convinced that the country of Mexico was made the 51st state of the USA in the 60s no she was not confusing New Mexico and Mexico when faced with reality she said that it was a widely taught fact when she went to school in the 70s my mom asked whether World War I or III came first they questioned vaccines and discouraged me from going to college I am terminally stupid for listening to them about the college part never too late right hug my parents made me take piano lessons since I was nine when I told them I wanted to be a professional pianist they were ashamed I really hope you're a professional pianist my mom got mad at me for getting a flu shot because the government uses them to track and poison people I was thirty at the time my mom thinks they make you Republican my parents are well educated but this was one of the stupidest things I've seen them do I was in the basement playing video games and went upstairs to my parents frantically looking for me they were in that anger relief kind of state and told me they'd been looking for me for hours and were about to call the cops here's the thing I had my phone on me the entire time and had received no calls texts messages from either of them also none of them ever went down to the basement to check if I was there otherwise they would have seen me I couldn't have really left the house either cause I wasn't old enough to drive at the time I don't know what was going through their minds but it definitely wasn't common sense I would have loved to see the police officers face if they found me in the basement after they called the cops when I was a kid I lived on a military base and a woman called to say her kid was missing the whole base went till a lockdown while everyone frantically searched for this kid an officer asked to come in and sit with the mom and wait to see if the kid showed up while everyone else was out looking he walks in the house and the kid is laying on the couch under a blanket my mom wanted to drive to the new Google office building to complain about her yahoo email account I barely managed to convince her that they are different companies if I couldn't convince my mom all this in less than 30 seconds I let her go when my father wouldn't allow us to get Internet because they didn't need it when he was a kid I have school you dropped out in 10th grade dad introduces me to someone I've never met dad do you recognize this person me 24 years old number dad but she held you when you were a baby my mom got a large inheritance used it to remodel her house she hadn't paid off then took a line of credit out on it months after the housing crash this is a single stupidest thing I have ever seen someone do with so much planning involved it took months for this dumb plan to happen and I tried to dissuade her every step of the way it's one thing to put a fork in an electrical socket at a totally different thing to hire a carpenter to build a house hire an electrician to wire it go to Target to buy a fork then put it in the socket the thing with not so smart people who think they are smart is that it's nearly impossible to get them to listen to reason especially if they have a plan my parents have a tendency to never change their incorrect opinions even in the face of facts some examples my parents had a rocky patch in their relationship and when they got over it they joined one of those MLM schemes that had them buy audio books and travel to conferences to learn how to be happy I think it was called life or something and they got really mad at me when I told them it was a crappy MLM scheme and refused to sit through the seminars with them my dad believes almost every conspiracy theory that exists his biggest one is that the government is using chemtrails to test biological weapons on us my boyfriend was a pilot and tried to explain why this was ridiculous but my dad would have none of it he also sees climate change as a huge conspiracy my mom thinks that preventative medicine is a waste of money and refuses to ever go to the doctor's jin.o or take her beloved dog to the vet luckily all of her children were vaccinated every week she buys some new homeopathic remedies such as some low pH water that costs $15 a bottle that will prevent you from getting cancer or some magnesium liquid stuff that you rub on your feet for some reason or another my parents are convinced eating red meat or GMOs will kill you at one point I was working as a researcher in a genetics lab I got into a heated discussion with my mom and showed her many sources to back my claims on GMOs and she was unable to come up with a single source for her own claims and it ended with her telling me that her opinion is just as valid as mine and that I don't know more than her never mind the fact that I have two science degrees and she has never taken a science class outside of high school and has no idea what a peer-reviewed paper looks like my mom is a heavy smoker and accepts that smoking can lead to lung cancer but will argue that eating red meat is much worse whew than smoking based on zero evidence she sees her smoking as a tiny problem in comparison my parents are also both very easily influenced by political propaganda and it makes it very difficult for me to see eye-to-eye with them at this point I just avoid talking to them about most topics my mom thought horses were born with horse shoes on of all the ridiculous stuff on this thread this one tickled me the most for some reason born in a Korean family when my parents told me that fans would suck the life force out of me even though my father majored in physics I was at dinner with my parents when my mom started feeling really unwell we took her to the emergency room for chest pains and she was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes the physician was asking my mom her family medical history and if anyone had diabetes in her family my dad a little drunk asks if his family history would affect her they're obviously not blood related the physician just looked at him for a few seconds and then said no gotta be honest weed that kind of worried I have type 2 now and I'm not related my mother is the living embodiment of the phrase I reject your reality and substitute a winner which he once proclaimed that he didn't have to file taxes because she was a widow when we pointed out that she could get audited she then doubled down and said that the IRS only audits businesses not people I once heard my hand and asked for some money to go to Urgent Care and she told to just go to the emergency room it's free she thinks passive-aggressive is a term I made up she also once ate almost an entire block of a candy over a period of a week that had a thin layer of styrofoam on it before realizing the styrofoam wasn't part of the candy I can't imagine being oblivious to the sensation of styrofoam on my teeth this week my father insisted that there is a gay vaccine god dammit the one parent in this thread that believes in vaccines my mom calls me 45 times during work even when I told her I am too busy to even drink water and I pulled 15 hours shifts and then gets mad because I didn't pick up her calls why don't you answer when I call I don't know maybe because I live halfway across the world from you and it's 4:00 a.m. when you call I'm seeing why you live halfway across the world when I finally got the nerve up to confront my biological mother that her husband physically abused me her response was Korean father's take their daughter's virginity all the time we are all white I see that more is her being more sick than stupid my dad once told me he had pancreatic cancer I asked what stage he said stage 3 I was devastated later on during the day I asked my brother he lives with him dude why didn't you tell me he had cancer my brother had the most confusing look and said he doesn't have cancer he's been on this Dadi saw on TV that consists of rice and vegetables he's been eating like 1,000 calories a day for the past few weeks he googled his symptoms on WebMD and thinks he has cancer yeah my dad is an idiot terminal idiot when my parents just got through complaining they couldn't afford basics then my mother went and bought 2-stroke 200 dollar sign pillows and some fancy towels they have never bought a home they say they were priced out but their stuff is all top-of-the-line they live in an expensive rental area I offered to buy them the place one stroke four of the rent price my dad must live near the ocean so they keep struggling mom wants to move up here when dad worked he made really good money 75-80 an hour never saved a penny now he has his SS check and still wishes to live as if he makes a tea on our mom makes 14 we have a big home in a rural area we could add on to go buy a cabin for them with some of our savings effectively lowering their end they had opportunity after opportunity to buy and still wish they had I'll give you an example of how they deal with things one day mom got back to work and noticed her car was gone dad was in the parking lot waiting for her in a new Mercedes he had gone and sold both their car and truck bought a two-seater sports car and a giant boat they couldn't tow the boat without the truck these are my parents this seems like entitlement more than stupidity when my mom heard that drinking a glass of red wine a day is good for you she poured my dad a full pint glass of red wine and he downed it when I asked them what made them think that was an appropriate amount they replied that's how much alcohol people drink in the movies shower thought if people portray healthy habits in movies people would inherently follow those habits one night my dad went to the McDonald's drive-through and spent a solid 3 ish minutes talking to the trash can and getting angry it wasn't responding I think your dad might be bagged mom learned from someplace that cancer can't survive in acidic ain't the Romans so to prevent cancer you should drinking lemon water to raise the acid pH in your blood to obliterate the cancer cells she up until very recently was an oncology nurse I made her swear to me that she would never say this crap at work to her colleagues and especially not patients of their families I had to have a come-to-jesus moment with her over this I'm still gobsmacked that she bought his horror [ __ ] the fun bit about this is that if you actively try to acidify your blood for prolonged periods of time your body will try to counteract that by drawing alkaline material from your skeleton making it brittle great way to get us to your per osis young turns out the human body is kind of fickle about pH when my father went on Facebook and explained all about how the earth is flat my grandfather actually told him to change his name since dad is named after and dad I love your grandfather when I was about 14 my dad told me that drinking your own pee every day is healthy for you he liked how both mom and I spent almost two hours explaining why that was not healthy trying to explain the difference between Wi-Fi and LTE to my mother in order to save her from data overages might as well try to teach calculus to a toddler my dad texted me recently to let me know that this is the only year where your age plus the year you were born equals the current year I told him I had a lot going on right now and didn't have time to research nursing homes my grandmother sent this to me on Facebook a while ago too and I did not know how to respond so I was like yes that's how math works and she was just like oh you have spotted this beautiful tasty seal Baker you can have as much as you want as long as you subscribe in the next 22 seconds like and subscribe you magnificent person [Music]

Channel: Updoot

Views: 127,961

Rating: 4.916256 out of 5

Keywords: terminally stupid, stupidest, stupid, parents, stupid parents, stupid parent, parent stories, parenting, #updootst, updoot, updoot reddit, updoot everything, reddit on tap, toadfilms, pewdiepie, reddit, askreddit, funny reddit, reddit stories, top posts, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, /r, r/, r/askreddit, top posts of r/, askreddit reading, best reddit posts, top posts of all time, people of reddit, askreddit question, ask reddit, subreddit, sub

Id: oOnriVLPYAY

Length: 19min 45sec (1185 seconds)

Published: Mon Mar 09 2020