Joey Diaz | Hotboxin' with Mike Tyson | Ep 15

no matter what happened in your life you got a lot of love like I said despite the color away from what happened people love you man I just went up for the slaughter at night want to be real worried there yeah we had a good image cheese like dog it was the best day of my life Mike Tyson was so [ __ ] coming you know what you're doing right now I mean we're having Britain the Mike Tyson today we have a special guest man a New Yorker man one two percent Tom Joey did talk to us what's happening so we the champ Mike Tyson straight from Cuba 205 West 88th Street and [ __ ] points beyond and then I ended up in North Bergen New Jersey and because my mother had a bar in Union City but yeah you know Jersey City yeah I know Mario Kosta know you're inside gym they're not sitting all by Journal Square yeah yeah yeah I used to go to junior high now I went to Bob Harley's basketball camp when I was a little kid he was a coach you know there's two kids play for Duke and he had a basketball camp there I used to go to movie through there and I got stabbed dad yeah the real crime here if the neighborhood I live on the Sunset Strip and I went and got high smoking pot with my friends and some dude cut me through a sweatshirt so [ __ ] tremendous but it's great to be here with you towards own buddy great I Love You Man you know Mike and I have a lot of similarities we both lost our mothers at the age of 16 we both got locked up you've been its profit you get what's I you have been a Spartan and Bronson your kid was that Spofford Avenue you know manners juvenile lockup no no no I was good as a juvie that was my [ __ ] I was good as a Jew because I you and I had something else in common we got saved by an Italian man yeah okay well I moved to New Jersey the neighborhood man was karma and Bolzano God rest his soul and he took me into his house even though I was Cuban he had three four other sons and one of the sons died and I kind of replaced him so whatever the sons got I got that gives you a different type of feeling it was the 70s ain't no ain't no speaker no black do gonna walk into an attorney's house but they didn't look at it like that we got saved by somebody Italian that's we have so many similarities you know you're from Brownsville in my early years I enjoyed in the Bronx from Arthur Avenue yeah I'm still [ __ ] kicked in a jape represented like a [ __ ] still the last American slices are not the Avenue now everybody knows that in this country but those in Italian it's just a pleasure to be with somebody who understand Mike Tyson was the king of New York you know how that is to be the king of New York walk the walk talk the talk the king of New York thank you brother he got the throne by Tony Soprano yes I'm saying it just happened I met him once you met him once yeah yeah I'm James I was in golf games Gandolfini a girl for a minute one how was he he was a very decent man he said when would that movie I wouldn't that movie he didn't even see the hangover that movie out that's so funny that's classic actor just so deep in your art yeah that was just dumb listen he left us all too soon yeah yeah definitely all do they all do you know we don't get to say goodbye or something you always feel bad you know yeah but back to Mike no I've been a fan since day one the first time I saw you throw up in fact I got to talk to you about some you owe me $250 from July of 87 because I bought an eight ball and I was working this chick you were fighting Spinks and I'm like sitting and I was working that I had 15 rounds to working but you knocked the [ __ ] out in 58 seconds oh man how little girlfriends took her back and there I am with the safe bought a hard dick how do you get eight balls oh you're 28 you get a hard start now and try to get your mother-fucking snake charmer gonna work man god I always wanna know that secret man how did you get Holley in the 80s you could get your hair caught on coke then then they started putting hairspray and I always had viagra and all that's a killer oh my god I never divide I'm scared yeah but hey I knocked my wife up at 50 yeah he did so I'm good yeah she was shorter - yeah 15 that's amazing open dope like a [ __ ] no other drugs I knocked her up amazing can you believe that God and that's where he to him she was 32 yeah Wow first child 32 my aunt had a had my cousin at 45 so it can happen really yeah CEO Vaughn's father was 72 72 whose father Theo von you gotta get that [ __ ] in here oh yeah stories - yeah he's amazing he's amazing but Theo had him when he was 70 his father had him when he was 72 God man a newborn a Spanish dude that's bad [ __ ] that Spanish firm you know naughty open the [ __ ] casket you know I'm saying you got a Puerto Rican with good genes you jerk them off in the casket boom you got twins did I couldn't imagine being 72 and having a newborn I was 20 I was 24 whatever we had our daughter man I was [ __ ] when a [ __ ] trip that no man and knock mum when my wife came and I was with her for 13 years and she came and she goes you knocked me up and I was like [ __ ] closed the door hey think about it for a little while and [ __ ] now I'm very happy you know yeah I was happy so God works in mysterious ways man no doubt man you know it's funny as with all the things we did were talking about juvy like I mean you were badass [ __ ] yeah I was doing [ __ ] but I was keeping it on the down-low and I knew too many people that get arrested I be I became a felon after 17 when I got busted at the age of 25 and I did two years I came out into the halfway house and I was still doing my [ __ ] and some dude and in the prison he was in there for murder and his wife and the mailman this [ __ ] called a federal rap because he was a mailman but he was the prison librarian and he used to listen to me talk constant on one of the nights of the week they did movie night in prison and the projector would always break and I worked in the kitchen so I had I knew everybody I worked in the kitchen I was the stock clerk so I had connections in there I was given the bodybuilders extra meat I knew where the extra cheese was you know and they would say when the projector would break that will go cube or go up there and say some [ __ ] the brothers would go cube but get the [ __ ] up there and say some [ __ ] and I would go up then goof on the brother you know I'm saying like I would do a stand-up because I would sit behind the prison line when they were feeding prisoners and check out everything and they'd be feeding them the food and whenever they gave you like [ __ ] on shingles what's that [ __ ] [ __ ] beef on right yes that [ __ ] is net whenever they gave all that type of [ __ ] I asked them discuss the watery yeah we stand in the back and as the brothers walked in first I would go don't do it and they knew not to eat the [ __ ] so then we had little prison dudes it was an Italian dude that would make nachos with a [ __ ] iron cook iron he would took the [ __ ] guts out and he was sticking the bucket and put a piece of cheese in there at 8:00 in the morning and by 6 o'clock the cheese would melt and he would cut jalapenos up and there was an American dude who made tacos so I would tell him not to eat and I thought they thought it was kind of funny the way I said it so they would throw me up on this table and I would just crack jokes on the prisoners it was like ninety-two prisoners is a prison camp and I didn't know I was doing stand-up my awesome and one day the prison librarian was a nerdy dude and we were I was a smoking dope in there cuz they were piss testing you for him and I would do acid from time to time and we would stay up all night the guards ago what the [ __ ] is wrong with you - we'd be talking outside and [ __ ] so tell me tell me this do you ever think about like where you're at now and what he's been do you experiencing but your friends that died you never seen you succeed it oh my god you just gave me [ __ ] goose bumps I know we got here when I start ever thought dude as they think we were with them in the streets we said happened now we're here when I started comedy in 91 I did good for the first two years and I went back to New York City in 93 and a kid who took me and would drive me to the gigs was a dude that reminds me of you his name was Darren ray go this [ __ ] was shooting steroids when we were 16 he would go into clubs I would tell him take your shirt off and do push-ups and he would just start doing push-ups at the disco and without a shirt on in 82 83 he was just crazy and I left for a while when I came back 10 years later he was crazier Mike you know how we get this dude was working at the airports one night I bumped into him two weeks before he died he told me he goes what are you doing nah he goes I'm a bodyguard for a Chinese dude because all I got to do is get him high he goes we do ketamine we do this we do that we do this but we have a drink but at the end he goes we never drink because that'll [ __ ] up your liver you know but he used to pick me up this guy was a gangsta he would pick me up and dry drive me to comedy shows and watch me and encourage me like you can't even fathom this so this is a barren there's damn Rago there's a picture him on my wall I have a picture of him on my ancestors shrine I have an ancestor shrine all the [ __ ] I lost along the way from Anthony Bolzano the Dominic's Pesci how to all the kids that I grew up with my mother my father my one of my teachers the dude who took me out of New York who took me to Boulder Colorado and showed me to get me out of New York and I old 50,000 the he died and I got all their pictures and I put Apple glasses of water that's what you're doing you're Cuban and every Monday you light a candle you fill the glasses and you thank them for guiding you through this [ __ ] life you know why me why not the other guy that was smarter than me had more money than me we're cooler than me and anybody thought they were the guys and they want to die and I getting locked up for life how come me I wasn't really the guy that a Gupta everybody was supposed to make it yeah I ask myself that every [ __ ] day well I'm sitting there at 6 o'clock at night and I'm eating dinner with my wife and my little girl saying prayers I sit there and I go if these two knew the things I did you know I'm saying like I questioned looked for a long time for about two years until I shot the Netflix degenerates I went through a hard period in my life a couple of years ago because I couldn't accept what was going on people coming up to me saying I changed that life [ __ ] I robbed the can of coins one time out of a carve-out you know those [ __ ] cans they say donate the blind kids donate the blind kids one time I was dying yeah one time I went to carve out I took whatever was in there was $7.00 Mike and Here I am now at the Comedy Store every [ __ ] night doing comedy with Joe Rogan and Whitney Cummings in Italy and [ __ ] Jeff Ross and I look at myself and I go what the [ __ ] listen you know I'm coming from a place that where we came from what we we only internalize who we are and we think that we're nothing but we don't think these guys did what we did and it's in our mind like say say we know somebody that killed somebody we've seen somebody got didn't kill to something or we're the cause of it you know I mean somebody may have been picking on us I tried to abuse this and we went they tell a friend and a friend came back and killed him you know that's just how it is in New York and so we think though i thought when i worthy of this cuz we're scumbags every day of my life i you know question how the [ __ ] I got here you know in the seventh grade I got a GED I'm a felon and I'm a Cuban that can't play baseball I got nothing going for me I got my GED only because I was going to go to prison and if you get your high school diploma day not two points off so you end up going to a lower that's why I wasn't putting I said he gets a GED they get it's about failed damn GED so I said let's try this kid let's go to the drug counseling and pick these drug tests into this program it's funny because I [ __ ] my drug counselor I was in the halfway house it was as bad as counsel when I got out she used to piss test me and I was putting I was pulling my I'm uncircumcised so I was full pull the skin back on my dick I was snorting coke like a [ __ ] and I said what cleans up your piss pool cleaner so I would take pool clean and grind it down on a cheese fries clean pool cleaners those pills are you putting the [ __ ] beer and they called around the water I would shave that down I would pull the skin of my dick back huh I would sprinkle poutine on my dick get over and put like a little bread tie at the end I would go take a piss and I would pull the skin back and the pool cleaner we're going to the past and I would just go boom and one time I put radio in that moment but the dude couldn't catch what I was doing they knew I was [ __ ] up the machine mic but they couldn't catch it so they sent the white chicken one day and I'm sure I would jerk off outside a little bit to get my dick hard and I was going there with this Cuban egg roll and I [ __ ] me and [ __ ] with a hammer so I get out of the halfway house I move on with my life I got into comedy and I'm I'm delivering Chinese food but slinging coke and doing comedy at the same time so if Mike wanted coke I would go Mike don't call the Chinese restaurant order an egg roll and I'll deliver it and at least I can blame it on the Chinese people because it was in the bag like a fortune cookie so one day I knocked on the door and who answers the door the drug counselor but to boot she was she was cute she had a nice breast she had a nice body but the only prominent was she had a leg like with a limp and it was like a mystery so nobody talked to the [ __ ] we went out we started swapping sprint I started fingering her I laid it down and what I did was I pulled the one leg off the ones leg but I didn't even pull the one the gene off the other leg I just left a mystery I put my hammer in her mouth and it was one of those long comes when it's like man just looking at you I wasn't trying to jerk off then I was trying to get muscles I was 33 trying to get the blue finish it oh my god I never saw her again she gave me like an $8 tip and that was it I never saw her again I forget what her name was but who gives a [ __ ] god bless you well you [ __ ] your drug houses you got Prague in the halfway house I was slinging in the halfway house and Mike I was loan-sharking cuz the rent was $75 and you had to pay it on Thursday or you couldn't get out when I got to the halfway house that's when I went [ __ ] nuts I had the coke hidden in the [ __ ] thing and I was selling the half way I you can't believe like that I'm the same person today that's right now when they get mad at the governor or even at that Judge for something that did 30 years ago you really can't get mad at that because I was a completely different person I was a complete change as a human being we adapt every couple of years that we say to ourselves we can act that way in so I can't believe when Mike original question was how do you feel how the [ __ ] do you think I feel I [ __ ] my drug counselor you know I had no respect for nothing and it wasn't my fault it wasn't that in respect people it was the 70s in New York that gave us this feeling of invincibility and I'm not a New York now I'm not the type of dude that says New York Pizza New York bagels I don't talk about that [ __ ] but the heart that New York had in the 70s set me out and then go into North Bergen and hooking up with people from Hoboken that Italian heart from Hoboken gave me this you can't kill me feeling like I got a nice neighborhood or now it's a real nice [ __ ] [ __ ] nice but the 50s and 40s it was kind of weird towards the Italians so the Italians that came out of Hoboken had a fight so when I moved to North Bergen I was surrounded with these guys that had moved on up from Hoboken so I got that heart from them plus my Cuban heart Plus that thing that New York had in the 70s that going to 42nd Street when you're 13 and avoiding drum buying drugs for the first time and they were fake drugs he had watch that you don't get caught by the police how many times did you walk on one of those x-rated shows let's sit on a hookers lap now a 14 yes no listen this is the thing right you were any one of these we're gonna run these porn places right cuz I'm we did with Robin all day we can't go home cuz we're gonna sleep in the movie theaters right but we got money and you're sleeping and next thing you know you see some guy comes in he sits in the front you think he's watching movie you fall off you wake up and he's in a seat closer and then he falsely begin you wake up he's right next to you oh wow some [ __ ] freaky guy balls [ __ ] bro well I went with little kid then we all know these [ __ ] freaks dogs [ __ ] bro one old CD I would go to and like East Orange New Jersey on Sunday nights my buddy got on a kick to go out there and I never forgot I went up there one time on a Sunday night and every time you go to the bathroom a guy would just mysteriously pop up next to you in the urinals and next to you and look at you he was like 40 so you get to see that side we got we lived in with the whole thing with Sir Robin for yeah come on come have a sister for you come on my god the whole thing to rob his [ __ ] arm this [ __ ] um what do we call it at the tricks Rob the tricks Rob the tricks get the money there was a part where I grew up Hudson County Park and in like the summer of AD we found out that if you stood out there guys that would get drunk like all the guys would come over and they'd look for people to suck your dick we were coming home from Judas Priest concert and we seen these young guys out there and cars would pull up and it was like a trick like where's the George Washington Bridge and they would go that way and the car would turn around and the guy would get in it so we devised a system where we get a guy put like shorts on him with a nice wife beater shirt on with a little paddle and you put a little ball then the guy would get the guy out of the car no let me suck it that under the tree and then they would take him under the tree that's wrong I'm free yeah he would kick them take their water run they couldn't go to the cops yeah my neighborhood has a hole right well Bergen got so good at it that each neighborhood had representatives that would go down there and had that piece and there was one neighborhood 64/3 field they had a kid that was so good he'd make the [ __ ] take him to their house and then he would call you from there I'm over here making a girl I got the guy tied up like that's how good we were [ __ ] kids man we were 16 17 it was a different [ __ ] world you have no matter of you know it was like nobody you know this we got locked up it was better than being home you know I mean you had just snagged um they gave you a snack that night three three meals they treat you good gave me cookies and milk crazy dude I never wonder how old are you I'm my 56 I just recently turned 50 to 53 yeah we walked past each other yeah sure I'm sure and I when I was a kid I had a my mother had the bookmaking operation in the Bronx and then we moved to 118 Street it's in in Harlem but then they have satellites on South action in honey yeah but Saturday is the big day for numbers so you have to develop satellite offices and they would have an office in bed-stuy that would have liked a little bodega that would call the numbers into them and we were paid to walk around the neighborhood and look the different type of cars like that said they would give us like 40 bucks on the sandy down and is jam packed jam people so if you thought you had a run back and tell him there's two guys in the car all you did was walk around the neighborhood all what does that mean it's like a lookout you're like a lookout and then there was these guys are in the neighborhood yeah like this cops in the neighborhood oh there's a car down the block with weird plates and a guy sitting there by himself right they would give you like 40 bucks to just walk around the neighborhood run their marriage go get them ham and cheese sandwiches and then that four o'clock when the number comes out the Brooklyn number cuz there's three numbers there's the Brooklyn number the New York number I didn't know which comes out enough yeah when you look at the total Mutual of the track and the Daily News when you open up the The Daily News you look at this there's always the track they always give you only in New York do they give you the [ __ ] track results in what the track made so the track handle is what the the last three numbers is the number of the day so you can bet that number you could better buy the number and you know neighborhoods were Mike Mike came from where my mom had these places set up people have a dream they have a job but they have a dream whenever try to tell your family know that wasn't a number three came out yeah yeah yeah know what when you take the number there's a receipt if you take a number face to face I have a receipt that goes three ways it's a white copy of pink copy and a blue copy and you got initially before you get going some slick [ __ ] to make changes people would try and even on the phone people calling or no you gave me a ten let's go to the tape recorder it's not a bookie that doesn't tape his phone calls they all check their phone calls so you come back at them and go you called them a 250 time or 300 hours yeah so it's some slick [ __ ] always some slick [ __ ] it's insane I was born in New York in 87 st. Vincent's lived in Brooklyn Park Slope look the way Atlanta cabañal we were on 14 or 12 Street between 8th Avenue and Prospect Park I was already gone I was doing time in 87 no 87 was when I got in trouble everybody was doing make mistakes and the funny thing is Monday I posted the picture of the guy I kidnapped in 1987 he came to my show this past weekend in Tucson Wow I've been in touch with him for about five years I apologized to him like a man it was a drug rip Mike it was uh he had two kilos of coke and I was young I was stupid you know and I made a mistake and with another guy and we [ __ ] up and I did you know he didn't even testify Mike he didn't testify the other guy my partner in it testified against me and then I plea bargain to zero to six the judge gave me four with a control and court he told me to [ __ ] come back in another twenty days and if I behaved myself he reduced my sentence when they cut it the community corrections and that's the hardest thing I went through prison ain't hard it's that Community Corrections that's how they hang you because you can't do [ __ ] mistake you made you can't be in a bar your life is six to six you know basically you have to live under a strict life and even then like I said I was and if your friends a felony been a walkway by yes you can then I say by you it's a hard life at that point but you know what man I did it I paid my debt to society you know I got divorced I [ __ ] lost everything I started again and the only thing I could think of was comedy and I just wanted to be a regular comedian and I wanted to hide and I ended up in Los Angeles and the next thing you know I was like Richard Gere in office and a gentleman I had nowhere else to go Mitsy sure god rest her soul gave me spots spots spots then a dude Joe Rogan I put he came into my life he taught me how to be a professional you know and here we are 27 [ __ ] years later calmly saved my life the other thing about doing residence season the greatest anything I just did Treasure Island Friday was tremendous I really liked them I did the South Point before they were very nice also but it's time to you know move on up a little bit I'm 56 I got one foot in the grave one a banana peel life left in me so I still do my little every two weeks on the road I got the podcast I got the kids I gotta talk to you about something real quick I take my kid you know I'm Cuban and Cubans are very proud of their boxes so I take my kid hitting the myths and I sent it to my uncle he's 80 and my uncle came back he goes you tell that [ __ ] teacher hers that we're distant cousins a kid chocolate yeah so I know that part of your [ __ ] genius is that you watched a lot of tapes ain't nobody I could tell you a story about a fight his name is Lidia Sardinas Sardinia Sardinia about it Sardinia you know Sardinia means in Spanish Bethenny you know Sardinia means one of those things are you eatin prison sardines sardines yeah so Sardinia yeah kid shop with Sardinia when you're in New York and I was and I lived in Union City is the second biggest Cuban population in the country a big shout-out to Lucio Fernandez and wait before you got into a fight when you were Cuban the first thing you told them [ __ ] listen before we box I just want you to know my cousin's kid chocolate no no but it's a [ __ ] Island warm cousins I did that's when I really I'm 40% African what I've been saying that the fact that he was that popular he was just really like that yeah remember I watched a lot of films about I thought I knew the man who was he was magnificent did he really fight 25 times in one year I listen I wouldn't doubt it listen he had a hundred on amateur fights in Cuba and he was undefeated with like 85 knockout is that true they said they redid it they our story and what end he only had 50 they said about kids drop Adhamiya not some things nothing kid chocolate was very promiscuous you know in the em he fought I had a lot of disease like venereal diseases and stuff I believe that's how he died probably he got sick and stuff he had 16 area diseases diseases legends that I wrote that read and stuff and I saw Ben I saw pictures of her mom I believe it was on what year was it it was sudden happening that you are watched uncovered and I think after I'm a look on YouTube see they showed pictures of him and cue but I can eat it like an 80 84 88 something to that effect and he was he was this old broken-down man but he was a magnificent fighter he was so inspiration and for fighters like Archie Moore and your Armstrong because when they saw him fight he was on he made more money than the heavyweights me like $100,000 a fight in one particular fight or something like that and that's why he was so popular but he loved him everybody they may saw wasn't gonna make songs about him I'm Count Basie did songs about I'm kid chocolate and stuff he was just a magnificent sensation when he came to America he moved to New York and you know he was awesome he was falling Santa Mario Brown and all those guys he was just magnificent it's just that he got sick did you watch a lot of tape on him and everything I wasn't fighting for Delabar but I wasn't for all those guys that I'm here it was a magnificent fighter man kid I mean for Tony Camden Airy for all these guys he had listened he had out probably hundred and fifty fights pro fights great fight very sensational fight a very popular fighter one of the most popular fighters and they had people named they named themselves after him too right kid chocolate bata chocolate listen Ava sardines when he came to harm when cancer took over he was a very wealthy guy kid chocolate but he took everything and he died in Cuba Iran Castro took everything this wealthy he had money Castle took all the property and all the cash out of the bank you know they turn theory communist so I guess that was basically there to shut it down yeah it's funny how many venereal diseases when Columbus went to Cuba he brought back like he took something he brought then he went back and what they brought back was sugar and syphilis yeah see the room was where the culture you go was a big syphilis [ __ ] hotbed interest you know I tested hot for syphilis a few times no biggie I moved on [ __ ] it good all right now I'm doing all right I know [ __ ] but that was yeah well the time you guys came up I'm just glad you didn't get the the HIV on man thank God no you know what I can't see needles God God threw me a big blessing I can't see needles so hmm I never I think I snorted heroin maybe two times three times and I liked it I'm not gonna lie to you but I knew that it would be a problem I had enough problems on my hands with the addictions I already had so I left it alone and I don't til this day I've been clean 11 years from that white [ __ ] devil amazing and I don't know how I did it I woke up one day and that was it there was no rehab there was no hugs I looked at my girlfriend at the time and I knew I didn't want her to find me on the floor there's some people like you were me we're born to find [ __ ] on last week my friend Floyd there's some people who want cut out for that it'll change their whole life my wife is from Tennessee good family I didn't want her to fire me on the floor and one day I just stopped and I keep tarifa because it keeps my mind back on the street and who the [ __ ] I was that's the last thing I do because it it's my teddybear Mike I started smoking chocolate I in 1980 and you know gold over the Gihon oh my god that's Thai chocolate I updated STNG we [ __ ] kill you so I always kept marijuana I don't like the word sober it makes people edgy people that live sober they have to hide there's something I don't like the word soul but well I got to tell you something god I just read in this book how to change your mind by Michael Pollan it's all about psychedelics and LSD and psilocybin and he talks about in there how one of the the main a a founder Bill Wilson mm-hmm he had his they talk about in the 12 steps they talk about having a spiritual awakening bill had his spiritual awakening in a guided trip on this stuff called belladonna which was like a hallucinogenic compound and he was a huge believer in the idea that LSD could cure alcoholism he was a big believer in psychedelic so it kind of blues blew my mind and then it too you know because what it does these things are different you know they they crush our ego they show us all our trauma and our pain and they help us forgive ourselves you know Julie do you still do any I know you've posted like jars of [ __ ] mushrooms on on your Instagram he's still funny it's funny when I we were talking about mescaline we used to get mescaline back in the day back in the day a four way my mom died I started doing acid maybe a year before my mom passed but my mom passed was the reason one of the reasons I'm still here is because I wanted an acid [ __ ] tan for like a year mm-hmm you know I'm scared now that I might have something because for a year I did acid I would go home at night put do a hit ass and listen to Black Sabbath I would force myself and then my mother died in 79 and an 80 the war came up they do a song called mother oh yeah and ASEAN has a song and this is our mother please forgive us and I would force those on myself and face my reality I my mother was gone it took me five years grief is the [ __ ] mother [ __ ] it took me basically from 79 to 84 to basically realized when she was gone even though they put her in the hole I was there they would nights I would still drive by my old house just to see if they made a mistake and she got caught at Yonkers Raceway in traffic and just you know so the acid helped me deal with it I hated I hate myself for doing it what I did but one of the reasons why I'm still here is because I faced my [ __ ] well I think yeah yeah man I think it's very therapeutic you know they're they're coming out with more and more studies about how these things are helping people deal with depression dying you know the most intense things that happen in life you know and that's what kind of blew my mind is that the 12 steps that he put together are really the steps of a psychedelic trip you know you surrender to something you realize that you are in the hands of God and you make an encounter with God and oneness and we are all connected and then you experience some sort of inventory of seeing all the things that you did wrong you know all of the trauma that you caused in your life and then it moves to making an amends for all of that you know and apologizing to those you need to end yourself and finding forgiveness for yourself you know my biggest therapeutic thing is I love smoking marijuana in the morning getting stoned and just letting my hand do the walking on a piece of paper hmm and I'll write out two or three pages and then later on that night I'll look at it and then write what I'm thinking at that point you know I think like the writing yeah has always helped me with the marijuana especially like from like last night I got home for Comedy Store 11:30 you're wired up you just did two [ __ ] shows yeah yelling screwed Jack talking about Jesse Smollett you know what man listen I had a Santeria godmother and I went to see her in 1995 before I left New York and she read my cards and on the way out she goes do me a favor don't ever do business with three people in 1985 the last thing she said to me is don't you it says right here don't do business with three people in 1987 what did I do I set up a kidnapping with another guy and that I remember when I turned myself in I kept seeing images of my god-mom don't do business with three people that's what Jesse smell that's all she said he did business with three people that's it and two could always turn on you and that's exactly what I'd only one get to keep a secret is two of them a day that's it only dead men talk so it's uh it's really weird that you saw what went down you can't believe it but I don't blame it on Jesse somewhat I blame it on depression and Hollywood puts on these kids whether it's Hollywood makes us do some [ __ ] dumb [ __ ] if you fall in say that [ __ ] hole I think just for like attention I know what the thing is we want these people to love us you want these people to give us jobs and want to live our life happily ever after and be the head sometimes be the head [ __ ] on the team I'm gonna be the baddest [ __ ] on the team I'm the richest the baddest whatever it may be you know I mean and then we forget um we forget who we really are you know we get lost in this [ __ ] cloud of success of what we believe is success being different from what we were you know I've been dressed up hating who I wore and I wanna be that person or that person that that person helped me become who I want to be why I don't want to be involved with that person in one of my life least always be that way close the door my path to get out of the thief you know I'm my parents and other street workers and all that stuff so all that stuff would make people know wanna throw the old life away you know you always have to believe who you are and have to accept who you are you know mean and be conscious you know I always pay people helping my conscience supersedes my color you know got no time it is out here you know I know people my experience in life and meeting cus you know I wish I would have met cusp is when I did the longest yard that was as I was shooting it I got smoke blown up my ass and when the movie came out nothing happened and that was one of the darkest times in my life and about a year and a half later is when I quit smoking snorting blow that was the darkest pain I had because and after that I never bought into it once I say betrayal is a trip betrayal of close people to commit suicide you know you think you know you do well here this is gonna happen and no one ever calls you you know I mean they tell you a little story you do this you sign this this is gonna happen except but it never really happens to the degree which typically tell you this is gonna happen you know or your mind plays tricks on you you know I never one thing I never did was sell my soul I know who I was I knew where I came from when I kept in the back of my mind and that helped me after a long as yard I had my little bout with my [ __ ] and like I said November 2007 I just stopped I had to get a movie and the old producer said to me that my reputation preceded me that before I accepted this movie that I knew I had to be on the set every day and they knew I had some type of drug problem so it embarrassed me so much hmm I said I gotta give this up if I want to move on you know and but I can look like in the I can look myself in the eye every [ __ ] day and know that I did this calmly game I didn't have to sell my soul you know that was I'm a bad [ __ ] from The Comedy Store being from The Comedy Store tell you so you know it's very easy but no you are we get confused at times I know when you were a young man they threw a lot at you at one time oh man when you came from [ __ ] nothing they do everything at you and I can't tell you what you know when you think about it now what you survived no I'm very grateful but you know one sometimes I see people who are blind I keep like Stevie one even though he may been do hard times I've been through divorce or something imagine being able to see the person that you love hurt you rate it standing that [ __ ] I'm what does that a stand and caught your imagine if a black person could see that somebody that you love said [ __ ] you he did this to me in front everybody gets y'all yeah it's over yeah I got a divorce soon men fear this wife after my life with this person I love the person every grain of love and in my body in my mind everything and this is what this comes to it's two [ __ ] tearing at each other like animals I love you Mike in my life man you are you know people have to know that when I started the podcast I didn't do the podcast to be up here I want to let people know that no matter what happens to you you could get to you go I left people don't believe in I don't give a Frenchman's [ __ ] this is what you want to do you could do it and I think that you're helping a lot of people I learnt that from custom never give up never give up you know the prison system is meant to break you mentally and physically they tell you when you get out of prisoner you could do paperwork and go on disability to rest of your life because you're a felon I ripped that [ __ ] up for the strengthen people if that's what it did to Manson people for two years after my fella I thought I got out of prison I had to do you know background checks and people come back to me a week later and say you got a felony now good no I don't you got the wrong Jose Diaz you know many [ __ ] Jose Diaz is there is that's like Josh Smith in Miami get the [ __ ] out of my face and I would I never addressed myself like a flower I said I paid my dues to society I didn't rat I [ __ ] did it I'm gonna start anew it took me because I'm a [ __ ] it took me two years to get on stage laughter I got the [ __ ] prison cuz I'm a [ __ ] but once I did it I had my purpose and I figured I'd go underground then I came home one day and my wife said I don't want to be married to you no more yeah I knew as I you know I knew as I was getting a letter she wasn't gonna let me be a father to this child the boyfriend I had - oh yes she left me for an older guy like him that I couldn't blame or money I found Mike Tyson Tyson think him back today I don't blame her I don't [ __ ] blame him I how can I be angry at her she was thinking about that child you know I think about when I leave a child with me when I was 32 years old for five hours not really not really so she had every right to do what she did I'm like I'm like [ __ ] Denzel and man on fire I had to give up a life to get a [ __ ] life so tell me brother it's kind of like you get conscious rate of what you've done they're telling you you weren't living your life right to have the child to live with the child how do you how do you learn to make up to yourself I write I keep in touch with everybody who helped me out as I was growing up I keep the touch with all my friends anybody who helped me along the way I keep in touch I try to do something nice for somebody every day when I wake up make somebody's day is what I call it there's nothing like making somebody's day you ever got a call from [ __ ] I don't want nothing from you you just call up to check up on your ass once twice a week to call a [ __ ] go what's going on don't text me either take that text and shove it up your mother's ass just call me I want to hear your voice Mike you know that that's definitely not a problem we're dealing with them what I want our children today or they won't they won't call you this you have to have you have to tell them my mother [ __ ] mean is nice yeah you have to still talk to people I'm a firm believer in calling people what's up dog I don't want nothing from kids you live in a place where somebody's always looking for something so when you get a call from somebody just checking in with you just to say so in all I think about my mom and I think about my step that I saw my stepdad shoot a dude on 148 and Broadway the Santeria party one time he was out Makua he was no no he grabbed me by the hand we got in the car we went down to Riverside Drive he threw the gun into the Hudson we drove home and you know what Mike we never talked about it he even left my mother at the Santeria party we never talked about it in 2006 I started reconnecting with him like in 95 and I checked in with him and then I realized that he was my stepfather and a lot Who I am today is because of him and when they were eating lunch in 2006 and I look him in the eye and I go you shot it was [ __ ] hilarious the guy's name is nicko he owned the bar on the forty-third and Broadway but he liked a certain Cuban dish called B Kylie so they called him Nico Pigalle and and my stepfather didn't drink or do drugs he just liked to shoot people he was a religion in Cuba québécois there's Santeria and then there's our Makua how acquire those [ __ ] that they walk around with a straight razor and they dedicate their life to saying Lazaro duh the saint with the dog buddy cutting themselves no no no no no [ __ ] cut you huh but the reason they cut you is to demoralize you so slice an ass cheek you know it was [ __ ] cur they don't need [ __ ] man only [ __ ] an interesting guy they're interesting [ __ ] dude it's like you know you gotta listen if you're not eating [ __ ] now you're not gettin no [ __ ] yeah not even for start to look at high school kids are doing this [ __ ] man you got a push keeps your loser tickets yeah yeah you eat somebody's [ __ ] at a party MA [Laughter] well Joey I mean what do you think about well Joey do you we eat after you put your finger up the ass I'll tell you what man I've been married I've been with the same for mother for 18 years if I try to stick a finger up her hand she'll [ __ ] cut that [ __ ] hand on them days are all worth on coke freak days are over with you know that was a long time ago Mike it's crazy how you think back at the [ __ ] that you got into when you were doing cocaine and I'm embarrassed what I was doing coke you know I wouldn't look in the mirror when I was coked up I know I had I wouldn't look in the [ __ ] mirror when I was oh because I didn't want to see in my face if you look at my face I have scars I would pick ingrown hairs just to like in other words it was like cutting cuz I didn't like what the [ __ ] I was you know but man I'm happy that's all over I was always dehydrated and I never drink after dij I would drink water with the coke I never drink water as I ever did I said if I drink water at least I'm being half healthy then the next day I would wake up and eat sushi Oh God let me go eat sushi and if I eat the sushi - sushi eliminate the cocaine from my bloodstream and I could snort coke in two days again I'm ready to rock that's how crazy the addiction gets you're [ __ ] high I'm doing cocaine I won't stop if I get arrested again - accident car accident I just won't stop somebody had to stop me I couldn't stop on my own I couldn't stop either Mike for years like I said I was doing coke when I was under like a probation program program I couldn't stop I couldn't stop I resorted to [ __ ] pudding who puts chlorine on their dick and that's a big way I don't know I did that burn it burned it I still have little [ __ ] scars on there from the [ __ ] and then I put the other [ __ ] dog the Drano to really [ __ ] up the Michonne [ __ ] I always [ __ ] them up in every single way they could every time I would ignite dicker right now it works yeah somebody's got a couple scars will say Frankenstein's [ __ ] Foy but you know I make it work got a scar too hey it works bro oh you're not John Babbitt no before you know John yeah [ __ ] [ __ ] me yeah and you met a lot of people and they all love you and they still love you Mike I'm very grateful you know they're good people and good people aren't cookies I saw it a couple UFC fights and I'd see how people reacted to you I tried to give a lot of know they could see how no matter what happened you know in your life you get a lot of love Mike Tyson despite the color where you from what happened people love you man I just walked I just went up to the story at night want to be real boys is there yeah we had a good ever seems like dog it was the best day of my life Mike Tyson was so [ __ ] Kwame you know what you're doing right now I mean is uh it's [ __ ] tremendous man you know when I was young after most of my used in Los Angeles and I met a lot of people just all kinds of people to great people to wrong people if everybody enough and I've had my share with all of them and stuff and it was just wasn't healthy mmm although it's burning the candles on both in would you ever consider moving back to New York now my wife doesn't want to go back she lived in there too didn't want to go out shopping she likes those coals anymore it was cool weather that um I wouldn't mind you know I'm very interested in trying San Francisco out that's a lot of people up there yeah I like my Cisco I wanna in 85 I lived in San Francisco for about six months tell me about it well then like I lived in the Tenderloin the mother Tenderloin was the Tenderloin and I'm gonna be honest to you Mike he's rough 1985 I was a bartender at a club called Rock and Robbins on Haight and Ashbury all the way at the end across from Burger King I think the Burger King or the McDonald's is still there so at night I would have to take the bus back to whatever the [ __ ] Market Street mission whatever the [ __ ] it was I saw more violence in six months in San Francisco in 1985 then I saw growing up in New York all those years I saw a black dude and a white dude fight and the white dude had a stick and the brother had a sword holy yeah white dude in the arm and there was blood [ __ ] everywhere I saw another guy stabbed open in front of original Joe's in a tenderloin in 85 and this is the best one where I was getting nickel bags one day I go in there and there's a bunch of cops and the cop said turn around and leave they were waiting for Rick who was this Night Stalker that's what he was buying then that's where he would stay at that hotel they took the door from that hole Rick maroon the Mitchard Ramirez yes they took the door off because he wrote ACDC creeping along yeah and then they beat him up when he got off the bus Mexicans gotta [ __ ] they knock told him to death right here in the East LA somewhere then the Congress in that neighborhood they had a [ __ ] coffee shop called coffee runs it was topless [ __ ] coffee you going in there was chick stop let's all crack hold up and [ __ ] we're [ __ ] intravenous veins on that table because I want to UM this is what I'm interested in doing to it can company you know in San Francisco they had smoke shops their smokes please sit down smoke you you can sit down to smoke your weed we go wow wow yeah yeah yeah Mike's got one of those are the works to English looking around York laughing Mike I mean like the same question goes to you can you still believe you're 53 and tikkun I've know everything you went through no I know when you wake up in the morning tell me the truth do you look up and say thank you Laurie grateful give me another [ __ ] I do it every day in the shower I'll tell you something um after taking two I thought I was tough you know I thought was a tough guy you know I checked for people from others you know all that [ __ ] [ __ ] I realize I'm not tough at all I'm happy the one kid didn't kill me you know I'm very grateful very grateful every day I'm grateful I was uh you know I don't know I was never in the territory you were in but I'm like I said I'm just very grateful for being here right now at this part of my life you know I'm still active at The Comedy Store that's like [ __ ] I must be awesome right yeah it could be 56 and they go to the Tommy store no yeah it was a I've been there for 22 years that was my only home that was the only thing I had nobody would talk to me but you know I was doing the movies on my own you know for for spider-man 2 I sent my own audition tape I was a hustling like I used that New York mentality casting directors wouldn't see me The Longest Yard they didn't want to see me so what did I doing what the Houston I got all coked up and I went to Play It Again Sports and I bought a helmet for a [ __ ] little guy like a 9 year old and I bought a shirt I was 400 pounds then well I bought a shirt that was an XL and I had my tits out and I was thrilled and I drew the ball and I did the lines from the movie and I sent it to Adam Sandler and they called me in for an audition I got the movie that's how I hustle well took it back New York style I used to get the breakdowns and send emails to the casting people so that's how I got the hustle first and then my stand-up is still too dirty whatever and I started telling stories I dug into telling these [ __ ] who the [ __ ] I really was the podcast came along and I told the story about being with my buddies get an eight ball of coke one night in a club in 1982 summer of 82 and we're doing a couple one and in those days if you went down 11th Avenue by where the docks are it was all hookers and they'd be out there in the summers let you close this [ __ ] telling Mike stop you wouldn't believe it he packed because his pact is with the hook there butt naked in the street in the streets butt naked in the street the hunk of a naked in the street you wouldn't believe got see the believe you can and not they wearing fancy clothes that butt-naked my ass let you finger them you know just leave that all time high man it was it was it was [ __ ] crazy something like 5 in 80 I went on the flow you at the walk step over them in the street just step over people I went to go to the ferry two months ago three months ago I went back to New York and I go to a ferry and I remember looking at it going what was here 20 years ago why is he so familiar to me that came back to me that had that whole area was hookers so I had a buddy that by every time I pick him up he'd always go somebody's gotta suck my dick tonight he would always say this you can't believe a young beautiful girl there but naked nobody think you'll see some monsters out there you seeing yeah girl and the pimp was a black dude in a wheelchair you thought was [ __ ] up but he had an Uzi under his wheelchair I mean it was [ __ ] dirty down there and my buddy would always make a stop to look at the hookers and then he would go right get out of the car I'm gonna get my dick sucked and he would get his dick something to always be an argument but Litton's brought this jet in the broad open all you saw was cars cars and bacon yeah there was a side street whether we are nothing if it was like a ramp and cars would just pull over and you just see the cars shakin people yeah driving it was like a [ __ ] busy time at nighttime but you know it was like a [ __ ] Museum in those days the hookers would give you I think it was 25 for a [ __ ] 50 for [ __ ] a [ __ ] if you threw in the extra 10 and we're being around the world they would eat you [ __ ] this [ __ ] I swear to my mother's grave I never touch one of those hookers but my buddy was addicted to hook it there was a place in New York called the 10/40 Club and this is a story for all you young guys don't ever get in a car with nobody go out by yourself when people say I'm picking you up go [ __ ] yourself I'm girl by myself and I got in the car with this dude named Pedro his family owned the candy company and they had candy trucks and we went over to the city for his birthday Thor the 10/40 Club it was 999 plus tax 1040 and they'd rush you into a room and there'd be two you know those dudes that got Cologne on and say how much [ __ ] they get all those dudes would be in there drinking and then they would open up a door and push like 200 chicks I got like 20 chicks out at a time and you had a grab and like kick him in the ankle and then you had a ticket and you had to give it to the guy and he let you into a back and it was just partitions you could hear people [ __ ] next to you and they take a bucket out from under the [ __ ] bed like a ping pang pool mattress they take a sponge out they wipe down your dick and then they put a condom on you and then the chicken I'll never forget I was that was the first time I was a Catholic I like suck some titties at that time and maybe fingered some people but I was not hip to sex at all and this chick got on time when she took the stockings off it was nasty and she got on top of me and she started going back and forth and I could hear my dick and her and it was like I just can get the sick to my stomach and then she stopped after a minute Mike and she looked at me she goes you know for $10 extra you could eat my [ __ ] I [ __ ] threw her off me I got my clothes my clothes on and I [ __ ] him went and I walked through the [ __ ] bus and I never went to one of those places ever [ __ ] again it was such a horrible experience but if in those days if you went down to 42nd Street you made a right a Broadway there was all these bars and there would be these dudes we were 14 that be these dudes in front of these bars and they'd go see naked women see naked women they didn't give a [ __ ] they wouldn't give a [ __ ] of you with ten you would go in there you would sit down and then these women would sit on your lap and then they'd say okay honey we could make out if you buy me a bottle of champagne well they bring them one of those Paul Mooney little bottles of champagne and they wanted 40 bucks you 13 and you're like I ain't got 40 bucks get the [ __ ] out of here but you will go up and down Broadway just feeling a little titties is [ __ ] it's just for being 14 then they had the peep shows where the windows opened and you could stick your head in the chick will let you suck at it for 60 cents Jesus Christ you and you tell people these stories and they look at you like Joey knock it off that's why when they did the 75 people went crazy that was an interesting show you got to get him on the podcast my dad I got I'll give you the digits I'll give you the dude but my dad you know people think that's was New York yeah that was it that's 75 precinct that was every [ __ ] precinct yeah that was you know that it was a different way you know how come gambling at in the end of 70s and 80s was a ticket New York City but it was it's a felony in New Jersey right across the [ __ ] bridge it was programmed and how what they would do is Mike's got a gambling no more Mike's got a bank I 100 and 18th Street I'm a cop I go see Mike every Friday he gives me 200 hours but Mike knows that every 90 days Mike's gonna get a phone call go Mike clean out your Bing that means have $2,000 there and have a phone there so when me and my six cops show up I handcuffed Mike I take him down to the station Mike gets a ticket and then I meet Mike that night if Mike had two grand in there I had to give a grand to the other cops I give a grand back to Mike and then Mike goes to court in a month and I tell the cops not to show up and Mike would go home it was a scanner Michael just stood it top of what he had to pay every 90 days you gotta take a bust you gotta take a bus that's just the way life is it was such a it was so [ __ ] corrupt there was a jungle man it was a jungle sometimes it makes me wonder if it really was the first name yeah how you doing today Mike it was such a different animal and to see that and try to describe it to people what you do either they mike snatch their purse you know that you see politics today you see how politics is now our people losing their mind and [ __ ] like that I saw corruption growing up my mom had a bar two cops are coming once a week and have a drink and my mom would give him an envelope and they would leave and that was just a part of doing business we had an attorney in Jersey City all right I'm an attorney with his name was Sam DeLuca he's retired now Sam DeLuca was a [ __ ] that you walked in there Mike and he basically told you Mike how you doing great to see you champ champ here's the deal and Mike Tyson you know your nominee plan is I want in there because the bookmakers my mother hung out with well huben so they would make believe they didn't speak English so I would always go with them I would get the day off from school they gave me like 100 bucks to go be the interpreter between Sam DeLuca and this guy and in those days the late 70s like this is mid 70s I'd be like 12 and I'd go down at the Lucas office and he'd go hide no how's your mother good and then the guy would sit down and go Mike listen I just got a call the other day from the DEA they want to give you a year and want you to plead to them simple assault but for $200,000 I'll get you 90-day probation for a hundred time and then they would give you like a menu for $100,000 you can do 90 days for 50,000 you and 120,000 you gonna do 120 days call me no week and let me know what you want to do that's how simple the system was you know an hour in there [ __ ] minute you getting the only [ __ ] miserable plate it was such a thing to see growing up and now I go to this 42nd Street I see Olive Garden yeah it's beautiful now I see our God not for industry they see what it was that we can't really believe the best pool it's really wretched den of iniquity you don't know what it's like to do a line of angel dust and go into the city in the 8th grade play hooky and walk up and down those streets either in it at the end you just once I couldn't handle any of this I can't take no [ __ ] what is that like I know every [ __ ] Evan but when it wears off is not over it comes back and hits you again oh really it's like a 12 hours ya trip and they would call it crystal THC we came with all these different names 2d rail the impact of Oh Marilyn biscuits and angel dust zoo dust and otherwise we would smoke it they also in those days uses so joints with formaldehyde in for like 12 bucks you know how [ __ ] up the mouth dehyde get you when you sweat it dip it in there oh so [ __ ] up Joey what's it like being a comedian these days in this super sensitive worried about climate might you know that before you go into something if you don't have a little bit of fear in your stomach you might as well quit fear always has to live there because that fear you take it and that's what you turn into your performance for Mike it was knocking [ __ ] out and for me it's timing precision focusing I'm gonna have to say you know last night I had to go out for the Comedy Store 27 years I'm doing comedy 10 minutes the kid comes over to me and he goes you're up in five minutes and it's like a [ __ ] eternal time bomb and then you go back to what Mike was saying I'm following [ __ ] Russell Peters not only the guy is a great comic on the gentleman somewhere and and Theo von I'm following Theo von and Russell Peters and then it's five minutes before four minutes and you start thinking about all the bad things you did you start thinking about do you deserve this what the [ __ ] am I doing here if these people really knew that one time I went into a Carvel and took a change and got $7 for it would they still be laughing at my jokes you know these people that come up to you after one go line let's take a picture if they knew that one time you put a gun in somebody's waist would they still want to take a picture these are all thoughts that's coming to your [ __ ] head and then with a minute left New York City comes back into your Hoboken comes back into me North Bergen you need a city and I go what the [ __ ] am I talking about who the [ __ ] am I scared of nobody slap me loose on that [ __ ] stage and you go you go up there you you you stand your ground you tell your [ __ ] joke from your stomach through your heart it passes through you lay the [ __ ] bomb out and either they laugh or not and you jump on them I got Mike style in the first round in the main there's two rooms at the Comedy Store the original room in the main room in the main room it's more of a theater room you could come out to him you have to be bigger out there in the original room you got to come out like one of the biggies say you got to come every night like Mike Tyson Jordan Jackson you got to come out like Mike in the [ __ ] original room because it's a smaller ring and it's [ __ ] bigger gloves its two-pound gloves it's 20 it's 32 ounce gloves so you got to come out in the original cuz it's small and be bigger so last night I had to do the main room then the original room I had a follow a Lee Wong Rogan you know so that fear you need that fear I like I don't like that doubt when it comes into my mind Mike that [ __ ] [ __ ] with me a little bit I ain't gonna lie to you that doubt [ __ ] with me a little have it though real have that but I always have that doubt because of my past should I be doing this if these people only knew but it doesn't matter it's like I wrote the the caption doesn't matter where you start is where you finish if only in the own thick head that we think we trash it my [ __ ] sick head every night I think I'm a piece of [ __ ] I am NOT but I towards being a better [ __ ] every day along the way especially the last 11 years this is what I learned all my years really I learned the piece of [ __ ] can't be redeemed you're not a piece of [ __ ] well thank you brother first no real trust me all my life I thought the same but yeah because she can't be redeemed brother he's writing for rest of his life getting that [ __ ] [ __ ] these beautiful girls coming out of the blue now [ __ ] I started getting these beautiful girls supermodel actress Laura I said [ __ ] they really like not forgive me nor that [ __ ] [ __ ] full of money when my alright I believe that these people could really like my ugly ass like it's funny I don't I don't put that vibe out and I get it once in a while on the road or something and I see the move coming like I have a rule and I've had a rule for years the [ __ ] I don't come into my hotel room I don't even like men in my hotel room you want to come over so I'm me you know hallway guys like you and I we grew up in a house where there was no peace I used to watch these white shows on TV the Waltons Ranjan family and I couldn't wait to have a house like that and it never happened for me and now today I had that [ __ ] out incredible it's not a big house I don't even own the [ __ ] what I'm trying to tell you is my home just what I wanted as a child there's no yelling there's no screaming nobody's yelling at 8:30 in the morning there's no hot water left there's no anger in my house I got cats I got a six year old I talked to my wife in a certain tone she speaks to me in that tone my wife was there with me I put my wife in such a [ __ ] 4 all we were dating that she took out a loan for me that I had to pay back 636 dollars a month for six years and I paid it back after I got off the cocaine so by me trying to [ __ ] get a piece of [ __ ] I leave my wife too much I need this little six-year-old girl too much I did that [ __ ] I feel in my life now to the did this [ __ ] already I got my dick sucked and what did it get me divorce I got a thirty year old daughter I won't talk to you Mike Tyson won't talk to me Mike Tyson [ __ ] walk around 30 years she won't talk to me god knows what the mother told her whatever I'm doing now doesn't justify it you know what at this point in the game what would it do if we talked it would just bring up bad memories for her and me and the mother and you know what my house dog is is all those the Dick Van Dyke Show my house is the Dick Van Dyke Show the worst thing that happens in my house is I smoke pot in my bathroom in the back or i watch dark clothes and I let her watch it with me the six-year-old so she brushes up on her Spanish you know saying I don't know what I could do without my children they were making I once stayed in my life when I finished fighting kids didn't have a good relationship me to fight with the mother all the time cheat on all the time so um they really never got a chance to get to know me till I got old in like 1920 where doctors finishing college and so I started developing a relationship with them and it's the best thing that I've ever done and I hate to lose that again you know other things I don't say you know they're real liberal have some kids that are real liberal and you know you can't say the right thing I'd be politically correct you can't say the word [ __ ] or some [ __ ] like that get ya something a [ __ ] you can't feel those things around my daughter who I love and I I don't care if that's that's all I have to do for her love me and care about me I'm not gonna faint as those words you know that's just the way that I think I think take that fell for the like I couldn't breathe when I wasn't havin every relationship my children I feel like I can't breathe I just can't deal with that feeling I don't think I'm a sucker at my age now I don't even know why I need to be friends with my favor I just I have to have them I you know I battle with those feelings [ __ ] I'm the father they should be having a relationship with me I'm dad they put them on the mother sent from the college that they wanted to go to their educate them to be all snooty the way they are with me all right you know I say that sometimes but it just um it doesn't work that way you know you gotta bow down sometime give up you know if you're gonna be in their lives somebody else could be in their life you're a beautiful man I'm happy I came down here today a man we're happy to you came big-time man who the man brother the [ __ ] is off Joey thank you so much - thank you yeah really awesome so awesome to have you brother come back and clean so much please do we don't thank you brother I feel you thank you for what you've done I mean your pockets are getting three million four million dollar stuff I don't [ __ ] know no I'm just what's your pod called again Joey Churchill what's happening now yes the Church of what's happening generates on [ __ ] Netflix you know I'm out there yeah brother dinner it's a it's a series they do that Netflix hopefully they'll do it again they'll be a part of it or something I smell kicking ass out here yeah that place is kicking [ __ ] ass yeah thanks brother thank you for having me good luck to everybody here much luck too brother thank you lots of love thank you all right everybody Mike great show man man Thank You ed man awesome guest that we had here and I'm awesome what can I say hey this is another conclusion of hot Bachman I'm Mike Tyson I'm having Britton I'm Joey Diaz and we're out stay black peace [Music]

Channel: Mike Tyson

Views: 4,861,694

Rating: 4.9054198 out of 5

Keywords: Mike Tyson, Mike, Tyson, Eben Britton, Eben, Britton, Hotboxing, Hotboxin, Tyson Ranch, Joey Diaz, Joey, Diaz

Id: Uxacwdd9vS0

Length: 76min 30sec (4590 seconds)

Published: Mon Mar 04 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/finishhimlarry]

Yo dawg back in '73 I was livin' down on 82nd street with the Gomez brothers shit was wack, I mean we were these kids runnin' business on these bozos knowwhatimsayin? Coughs up half a lung and wipes it on face

[u/rhetorical2020]

That's nothing. He has stolen and robbed hundreds of times, spanning decades.

[u/yackofalltradescoach]

I enjoy his story telling much more than his stand up.

It took me about a year on his podcast before he started cycling back through them all. I stopped listen after i had heard many of them before.

He tells a story about Ralphie May and Matthew McMcConaughney that gets me every time I hear it still.

[u/kalgary]

Humans have an amazing capacity for forgiveness.

[u/morgensternx1]

Until just recently, I did not realize this was the same person I thought it was.

[u/AbyssDivision]

Tremendous.

[u/yahwell]

Look for it - he looks like the Diaz brothers.

[u/roxannebruns]

We all make mistakes

[u/L00MWeaver]

Joey "Shithead Gravelthroat Cocksuckah" Diaz.