Jeff Allen Testimony

i um i get asked a lot where how do i meet my wife uh i met her at the uh at a comedy club uh a number of years ago and uh i couldn't see her because the lighting uh i heard her she was a she had an amazing laugh she had an amazing laugh and it would move around and i assumed it was a weight waitress because i didn't think an audience member was just hopping from table to table you know so anyway i asked somebody when i got off the stage i said oh that laugh who wasn't they knew right away it was tammy she had this just husky really just cool laugh and uh after 27 years with me it's gone i never hear it anymore but every now and then i'll hear her in the kitchen just laughing and i'll run in to see what she's laughing at and it ain't me so uh but uh i just uh immediately i saw how gorgeous she was and i was just drawn to her and she had a two-year-old son when i met her and that was november and uh i was living in l.a at the time she was living in ohio so we developed a a relationship long distance and i asked her to marry me in april at cleveland baggage claim because i'm a romantic guy and uh oh yeah and she said yes immediately and she had no idea the baggage she was picking up that day when she said yes she really didn't and uh that was april and may she got pregnant and then we got married in july and uh ryan was born in january and i went from single and traveling uh 50 weeks a year i was doing on comedy clubs and casinos to uh married and two children under the age of three and uh a year later uh not even a year to our marriage it was my first trip into uh to uh a.a was uh well actually i went into 25 years old i didn't stay uh i didn't i wasn't near as sick as those people yeah i'm 25 i'm listening to these people oh my gosh i got man you people are whacked you know so anyway i was still doing cocaine while i was going to the ea meetings you know it's just just the desire to quit drinking you know so uh anyway i'm 31 years old and um uh on july 5th uh july 6th i told my wife i need to go to alcoholics anonymous um my father i was two years into the uh to my a.a journey when my father asked me one day he said what was your what was the catalyst that uh because my dad wrestled with alcohol his entire life and he knew that people people uh alcoholics just don't walk into alcoholics anonymous because people are laughing and having a good time and hey i want to just check it out something bad something had to happen and i told him the truth i beat my six-month-old son in a crib ryan was born in january on july 5th the day after the july 4th that evening at 3 o'clock in the morning he was crying and i couldn't get him to stop and i i pounded on him and uh tammy sat on the end of bed and fed him and uh in the middle of all of that rum and cocaine it hit me that my son got beat because he was hungry and the shame that washed over me and i just didn't think it was going to get any better so i looked at tammy and said if you don't take me to alcoholics anonymous i won't go and if i don't go we can't be married we're not even married a year and she's got her husband telling her she already had one child with another guy and now she has another child with i can't imagine the fear that washed over my wife that night but then when you're a selfish self-centered narcissistic pig you don't think of those things so she took me to alcoholics anonymous the next day and uh they told me to pray i said to what my father told me when i was 14 years old there was no god my dad took the time to sit me down and give me his view on the universe at the age of 14. and at that time i was an avid baseball player i won't go into details on that but i just lived and breathed baseball by the time i was 19 years old i no longer i haven't touched a baseball probably since i was uh 20. and i threw it back in god's face i became an atheist on that day i wouldn't say i was an educated atheist i couldn't defend the position i probably couldn't defend it today i've listened to every argument you could have on on either side of it and there's arguments for all of it i guess i don't know um all i know is that i just don't i didn't believe in god and i lived my life for me and everything about it was about me and now i'm 31 years old i got a wife and two kids i i could tell people all the time young man i said you know you can you can be single and you can live a sinful life a a really deep sinful life as a single man but nothing nothing will draw out the bankruptcy of your life quicker than uh getting married and being with another human being and then those small children who love you unconditionally will really draw you uh out and on who you are and how deep it goes inside you and uh i sat there and uh in those meetings and they told me you lie you die it's a program of honesty i couldn't believe in god but i could sit there and i would tell the truth i'd raise my hand and and i'd go i don't like you i don't like you i don't like you i was i was trying to get fired from a 12-step program actually i was kind of hoping somebody would come over and go you know what you've been here a while nobody likes you you know i was angry bitter jaded and cynical i really was and uh i got to tell you that's the first place i saw the face of god because they accepted me as i was as bitter and jaded as i was these people somebody would always walk over to me and go hey man we've been watching you you know it gets better and i'd go ash shut up and never get better and i was i really was i just i was a cynic at the core at the core of me and i've never met a cynic that thinks he's a cynic i never have you go to somebody and go why you so cynical hey i'm just keeping it real just keeping it real man life sucks wow that's inspiring so i went to those meetings i kept going because they told me to go and they said to pray i said to what they said find something in the universe bigger than you and i just couldn't get my head around that because there was nothing in the universe bigger than me and i heard years later that there's no smaller package than a human being wrapped up in himself and i was about as small as you could get because it was all about me and that's the way i lived i lived i tried to do it and then uh god put on my i didn't know god i have a relationship with god but i believe to read i started reading i never read a book my entire life until i hit the age of 31 i got sober it's amazing when you're not nursing hangovers and and worrying about how to stay out of jail long enough you know you got you got spare time you know and a man can only bowl so many frames so uh i started reading and i started with road less traveled and i remember the opening line in that book life is difficult when it can be accepted as such it no longer becomes difficult it just becomes is it's a south it's a series of problems that need to be solved so that's what i realized that my life was a series of problems that needed to be solved so i started reading books on how to solve the problems it started with self-help and i started with john bradshaw's stuff on family dynamics i figured my dad was an alcoholic my brother was an alcoholic and i'm an alcoholic so i got to see maybe there's something connection there so i started reading about and i found in john bradshaw stuff it was interesting that in a dysfunctional family and ours functioned they all function there's just good there's better ways to function and in my family they said the baby the youngest which is me uh is normally the comedian the good-natured one and uh i found out those are the ones that get the worst beatings until we get our timing down you walk into the hey i got one for you bam okay maybe next week you know so that made sense to me that resonated with me so i read the family dynamics stuff and then i got into the codependency melody baby stuff and then i started reading new age spirituality i figured maybe there was something to this higher power i didn't quite get my head around it because i would look at people after four or five years in the program and they'd say you need you need to get that higher power thing and i go what is that and they go well it's whatever you want it to be it's whatever you can grasp onto you know and i'm going well look if i'm making up a deity doesn't that make me delusional i mean either god exists or he doesn't i get that but i'm not going to sit there and make one up because if i'm going to get on my knees when life happens and i mean life where there's a loss of a job a loss of a loved one or cancer and i'm going to get on my knees and pray to a deity that and at what point do you pray to this thing you made up and you go your brain just goes you made this up what comfort comes from that i'm not gonna make something up so that started me and i got into new age buddhism and all of that and and uh and i i tried i dabbled in all of it i meditated i um i did the uh the uh the chants i did the oh the uh the the new age where you affirm yourself you walk in front of a mirror and you tell yourself that you're valuable and you're you're handsome and and people like you and and i couldn't even look myself in the eye it was so pathetic i'm like this works for people like whatever i just wanted an answer to a bunch of questions and i kept getting questions and it didn't matter what i bought or what i read or what i saw or what i heard i it and it would resonate and it would resonate inside me i remember listening to a speaker one day and he had a great talk on relationships and he said that his relationships prior to alcoholics anonymous or prior to a relationship with god was pretty simple he said i had a i had a bag of tricks or a routine that i did with every girl i ever dated and there were like eight or ten things that i would do i'd take her to a restaurant i would take her to a movie or a special movie and i would and and i had a place up in the hollywood hills that he said that i would go and i would tell the the girl that i was with at that time you know i've never taken anybody up here ignore the other footprints you know uh you know but he had a routine and i and i listened to this and i realized prior to meeting my wife i had a routine and my routine was a lot shorter than that i had like three or four things and then when conflict would enter the relationship i would flee i hated conflict there was no conflict in our resolution in our home my dad was the law of the land you'd come in and if you disagreed with him he'd either hit you or throw you or or scream at you till you backed off so i just learned to hate conflict and scott peck said in road less traveled true love can't even begin till conflict enters a relationship you cannot have a conflict-free human relationship you can't it doesn't exist only love can grow from conflict everything that leads up to that first moment of conflict scott peck says was put there by god it's an illusion put there by god to keep the species going that's what draws us together that euphoric feeling that everybody keeps chasing after they get married for eight years and i just want it the way it was when we were dating well it ain't gonna happen it doesn't exist and conflict could be simple i want pizza for dinner well i want chinese food now you got conflict now you got a chance so i hear this and i'm thinking all i need are new tools all i need are new tools and it resonated with me and i'm thinking oh man so i run home and i play the tape for tammy i go listen to this this is amazing we listen to her she's weeping and i'm thinking this is great we're gonna we're gonna move forward and she goes if you want a divorce be a man and ask for one that's what you heard and that's when i learned it's not what i say it's what she hears me say oh i've been married long enough now i could say something to tammy see her reaction and go what'd you just hear me say so now when i have something i want to play for my wife i played for the neighbor's wife and i go what did you hear in there i hated conflict and apparently god gave me a woman who loves conflict because every time i would go to another room and say leave me alone she'd be right on my hip follow me in the other room and i punched holes and walls and i slammed cabinets i broke dishes i screamed and i'd hollered i one night i was putting my son together to bed he was like six years old and he said daddy you win that was after i stood on a chair in the kitchen and i yelled at my wife until she fell to her knees i was standing on a stool yelling down at my wife until she fell to her knees and wept and i put my son to bed that night and he says daddy you win i go what do you mean he goes you win you yell mommy cries you win is there anybody in this room that thinks this is the way i wanted to live my life had no idea where that came from i just wanted answers and the questions would come and the answers would come in the form of these little books that i would read i would read these things and i'd go okay this is it and i go tell tammy i go i got it baby i think i got it this time i got i got this thing here and i'm and i'm reading it you know and i knew i was losing her i knew i was losing her i didn't want to lose i just didn't know how to hang on i got and that's i just wanted answers and tammy would just and i was losing work i i was sitting on stages and in these comedy clubs now and on a stool i i worked on a stool i never got up on my feet for like two years i'd sit in a stool and i would look at the floor and i would do the comedy and i would just there and at some point i would ask the audience why are you here what's the point and some voice would come out of the back we just want some jokes club owners were calling my agents and managers and they're going what's with him man he used to be funny maybe he needs to start drinking again or something he's just like he's up there he's talking about all this stuff and nobody understands what he's talking about i just wanted answers and i couldn't get him at home and tammy would go care about work just care about your work we're losing everything because you're losing so much money we we live a lifestyle based upon the money you can earn i can't earn the money you earn you signed up for some things in this marriage i'll do everything else just go out and make money you don't deal with the bill collectors you're not even man enough to deal with them if you pick up the phone you start screaming at them until they hang up they repossess the car she calls me i'm on the road one day she goes they took the car today you knew it was coming you could have mentioned it your boys stand on that driveway wanting to know why they're taking their daddy's car away grow up and i said why what's the point what difference does it make i've gone on stage i've got standing ovations the next night same club same group same material they boo me they throw beer bottles at me i knew people in la that had movie deals and sitcom deals and i heard they committed suicide when they all went away i knew people who put their life in their marriages and the husband would walk out on them the wife would walk out on them what happens to the human after that i just wanted some answers and i'd ask her do you ever wonder she goes i wonder about what i go why you're here the whole point to everything why does it matter she goes no i don't have time i'm raising a family by myself i'm dealing with all this other garbage that's been created by you i just want a man i want a husband i want something i said that's the point i just i'd look in those rooms and i'd see these aaa people and they were happy and content and at peace and i go why not me why not i did my work i read all the books i did all the 12 steps i did everything where's my where's my peace it's all i want is that too much to ask i want to have a few beers i wanted to go out and and and and do my little jokes and raise some fat and raise my kids i didn't even know why i was so racked up i had friends going relax jeff relax everything was just i was this scab i was a big scab and something would pick at it and his puss would ooze out don't know why and finally tammy asked for a divorce we're sitting at toys r us at a christmas time about 17 years ago she says do you want a divorce i go if that's what you want babe that's how we decided to get to the most life-altering decision a man and woman will ever make it will affect your life forever good bad or indifferent it will have an effect on your children it'll have an effect on your friends your family everything and we decided like you want to go to mcdonald's for lunch yeah let's go to mcdonald's we want to take out the trash i'll take out the trash you want to get a divorce yeah if that's what you want babe if you're in a marriage state that's full of acrimony wait till you get to apathy there's no more painful human experience that you can experience than apathy to not care and it's a epidemic among our young people saying it done it been there can you imagine adam and eve coming out into the garden that first day and going oh trees or wow look at the little kids everything is new it's like wow we had nothing to divide up we we had filed bankruptcy lost everything so we got to paralegal and got some divorce papers and uh tammy gave it to me she says i do everything else around here why don't you fill out the end of our marriage and uh i love this because the bible says what satan intends for evil god will use for good uh my biggest character flaw to this day is procrastination so i've always said if i was a type a i would have filled those papers out we'd have been divorced in about a week you know and that would have been it as it was a year and a half into after she gave me those papers i still hadn't filled out anything with the names uh a year and a half i was sleeping in the guest room uh we were cordial people uh we were polite bumping to her in the hall we ate meals together uh we we'd sit in the family room and watch television together and um we we existed it wasn't very loving but it was existence and by that time god had time to move people into my life and one of them was a christian businessman who was doing comedy for 100 bucks a week on the road and i couldn't understand why and by now i'm reading rand i figured if materialism is it if it's just about getting stuff i'll get stuff i can get my get my life back on track i'll focus on the comedy and i'll work on getting a career going again and um i still had a fairly good reputation in the in the club world and um anyway uh i decided that that's what i'll do so i'm i'm working now i'm focused on this and now we're golfing him and i and i asked him how do you accumulate wealth nobody ever taught me how to accumulate wealth i mean wealth and he said in order to even enjoy the creation you have to have a relationship with the creator and i thought boy that sounds neat you know like new agey it's not a new age so where's that he goes it's in the bible okay a couple holes went by said something else i go that's great where'd you read that he goes in the bible i said stop it with the bible he goes what do you mean i go i mean really who reads the bible he said i do i go really he goes what's your problem i go i don't believe in god i mean god you know really god's word it's a little archaic what you think he said well let's back up what's in the bible that you don't think is true maybe i can help you out i go i don't know i never read the bible he goes then then you're not an atheist you're a and any man who suffers from an anger problem knows the hair in your neck stands up your stomach gets a little tight i think i want to punch this guy for saying that but then i would have lost access to some really nice golf courses and if it's possible for an atheist to have an ethical quandary i was in one so i said how so he said i'll give you the short answer to discount and throw away an infinite god in an infinite universe you yourself have to have infinite knowledge of the entire universe it's a self-defeating argument you cannot defend an absolute negative what you're dying exists as an omniscient being in order to deny that you yourself have to be omniscient you can't defend it and i looked at that man and said what he said trust me jeff i say this out of love you are not smart enough to be an atheist i'll be honest with you i wasn't smart enough to figure out if the man was insulting me or not because i said to him you don't know either he said i believe we i do and he said i believe if you if you open your mind a crack to the god of the bible and started studying that bible that god could flood through that crack in your mind into your heart into your soul and reveal uh the true universe to the way the universe is is set up and aligned and all that and i said i said yeah he said i'd like to help you out i go to a church in denton texas tom nelson's denton bible he said he teaches the bible uh he does not tell you to check your brain at the door he makes you reach intellectually and he says i think you would enjoy that and i said uh would it cost me any money he goes nope i'll sign you up and then can i send you a bible i go if it doesn't cost me anything you send me whatever you want so the bible came i threw that in a junk drawer the tape started coming and for a year and a half those tapes came and we had a friendship it was basically revolved around comedy and golf and uh uh he never once said to me i sent you tapes did you listen to him i sent your bible did you open it up he'd end every conversation the same way hey how are you and tammy doing i go not too good phil we're going to get that divorce at some point i got to fill those papers out for a year and a half year and a half he said we pray for you every night me and carol my wife uh we pray for you guys and it meant nothing to me i go that's great phil he goes i want you to know we want your marriage to work and i go i don't get that but okay and he'd say well that's the way i think god put your two together for a reason and i go yeah whatever phil you know it's got to work so anyway the year and a half goes by and tammy says we got to fill those papers out finally i filled them out notarized them we got them notarized by a a notary we're on our way to the courthouse to drop the papers off to end the marriage and 10 minutes from the courthouse tammy says pull the car over run the interstate in phoenix arizona she says pull the car over i said for what she said as we pull over she said this is wrong and tommy nelson always says every man needs to get down to win from himself to get a good whiff of the of the uh kind of man he is and i had gotten a whiff of the kind of man i was i knew that i was bad there was nothing about me that was redeeming um i couldn't change i didn't seem to change and uh i loved her i did love her and i said you're out she's what are you talking about i said you're out we dropped these papers off and we we get the divorce you're out you've you've done your duty you've you've eight years with me you've earned the right to be loved the way you deserve to be loved i don't know what's wrong with me babe i really don't but i'm trying i'm trying i just don't know what i need to read i don't know what i need to but you deserve better than me and she said i'm not gonna do this let's go home if you're looking for grace that's what grace looks like smells like and is there's no earthly reason why she said go home and we went home and we tried i mean we tried summer came that year and she says i'm taking the kids to ohio to go with my to be at my parents and while i'm gone you got to get your life together if you don't want to do comedy don't do comedy but you got to do something we're losing the house we were a couple months out of our mortgage at that point and they were contacting us and uh i said i'll work on it and she gathered up these bible tapes year and a half's worth they were everywhere on the fridge under this you ladies can imagine she's been cleaning around them for a year and a half collecting dust everything she gathers them all up and she brings them into the living room and she throws them on the floor before she leaves and she says you either listen to these things or i'm throwing them out and that little voice we all have a little quiet voice inside of us and by the way i would like to mention if i was the devil and i wanted to wipe god out of the minds of people of his creation i would create ambient light to eliminate the awesomeness of the stars when my son was in iraq his first email home was i can't believe all the stars this is amazing dad i'm telling you it's amazing i'd eliminate the stars so when you looked up in the heavens you saw two or three and you go hey what's so amazing about that and then i'd create the ipod and i'm not saying the ipod is the devil's creation all i'm saying is i just create noise that fits inside your head so that god's voice which is quiet and still can't be heard because one day i'm walking by that pile of tapes and that little voice says open one up and i walk back and another voice says there's nothing in there for you and i start to walk away and this struggle goes on and i i and i don't i i'd like to ask somebody where does this come from where does this struggle come from i had never had a problem going to a music store buying a brew spree stink tape and pulling it out and put it in my cassette now i got a bunch of god's words sitting on a floor and this struggle comes in it's nothing but biblical trash that's when at one point my head screamed at me it's biblical trash and i start to walk away and it's like open one up so i finally just walk over there like it's on fire and i rip one open and i throw them on the floor and and it's ecclesiastes i couldn't even pronounce it what is it i gotta get the bible out of the junk drawer the bible never left the drunk drawer because once you put something in a junk drawer it never leaves until you get a shed that's a suburban version of a junk drawer so so now i put this tape in from the ecclesiastes from a pastor in denton texas that a year and a half i don't even know when that arrived in the mail but all i know is is the first tape and it starts out meaningless meaningless and i went what's meaningless what's meaningless and it went on to talk about solomon's conclusions and the book of ecclesiastes and years later christians said to me the first time i shared this at a church somebody grabbed me god used ecclesiastes god used the book of ecclesiastes to lead you to jesus i go i don't understand you he goes well it's a fairly cynical book i go well you didn't know me like god knew me trust me i found ecclesiastes the most exhilarating thing i've ever heard meaningless meaningless it's all meaningless everything is meaning there's no everything i was like and what i got out of that first tape was this life without god will have no meaning without meaning to your life there's no purpose to your life without purpose to your life you might as well off yourself and i'm thinking wow that's in the bible so i ripped open every envelope looking for more cleasy closet tapes there's got to be another one in here so and i put that in there and this is it this is another one of solomon's conclusions again paraphrasing what was in the in in the book by this pastor but it was if happiness was an act of human will we'd all be happy you ask anybody in this room what you want out of life i just want to be happy well what is that how do you define that if it's the next ipod the next man the next woman the next job the next car the next ad infinite item you're in for a long haul while you're down here on earth solomon's conclusions we're nothing nothing of this earth will ever give you lasting joy and happiness outside of god so i'm sitting there listening to this and i knew this because i did this i went you know to the mirror and i went to i gotta affirm yourself oh what a load of garbage that turned out to be all i wanted to know is i'm like i'm listening to this and something is happening inside of me and at one point i wanted to run on the lawn and hold the bible up has anybody read this thing what a book i was doing studies in my car staring with my leg making notes in my bible i almost met jesus before i met jesus i mean people i'm running them off the road they're waving at me one finger at a time i'm like i love you too you know i have no idea why there was this moment in my life where god said this guy has had enough for the first time i realized that i didn't i wanted an explanation for all these years i wanted somebody to explain to me god so that i got it so that i understood it and it made something a difference in my life but the truth was i needed a revelation from god without the revelation the explanation means nothing and all of a sudden everything was starting to change the way i talked to people the way i looked at people i'm talking to my wife on the phone and and i'm going babe there's something going on but she had heard this a thousand times it was just another one in a long list of things and uh i remember when she came back that summer and she says how was your summer i said i said uh i'm a born-again christian she goes what does that mean i go i don't know i just i heard the term you know and uh and but i wasn't there yet i listened to i don't know a year and a half's worth of tapes in a couple of months and i'm down in texas with my buddy the the guy that gave me the tapes and uh we had gone to church i wanted to meet tommy nelson the pastor and tell him uh how amazing um i thought he was and uh when we got back to phil's house he looked at me and he said when i met you god put it on my heart you were looking for something have you found it and all i could think to say to him at that time was if jesus christ is not who he claimed to be then solomon was right suicide i have nowhere else to go i've exhausted everything and he said can you admit you're a sinner i go let's not go overboard when god gets a man downwind from himself admitting you're a sinner is really really yeah yeah i fall a little short i gave my life to christ all of it i said if comedy is what you want me to do you take it you do something with it i'm done you want me to be married to this woman i submit to you everything my best efforts got us 10 minutes from divorce court you want me to be a father to these boys then you're going to have to show me how to be a father to these boys and love them because i don't know how i'm yours doesn't mean it's perfect doesn't mean i didn't give my life to christ so that i'd have a bigger house or better car i gave my life to christ because i believed it to be true didn't stop us from experiencing life tammy got breast cancer 12 years ago she's still alive and i keep forgetting to mention that so people will email me when i get home you never said it she's still alive so i owed the irs fifty thousand dollars when we uh gave our life to christ i never thought i could pay that off took me seven years but uh but that's not why i believe what i believe i could have got that from a tony robbins seminar if jesus christ is not who he claimed to be then i'm a dead man i cling to the cross and the resurrection i cling to the truth of that and i don't care what you believe the last inch is always a leap of faith and it's not perfect tammy started menopause there are nights not every night but there are nights i lie in bed and dream about the good old days of pms [Applause] i can't get to home cold enough for her on some weeks it's 48 degrees in my bedroom i got meat hanging off my curtain rods she'll walk in at 10 o'clock and turn on a 64-bladed fan she installed i had a bolt of furniture before they keep it from getting sucked through the roof and she stands in the middle of the room why is it so hot in here why is it so hot i can't see her from the fog coming out of her mouth oh and then she wakes me up to feel her night sweats is that even necessary i'm sound asleep she zips my parka open while i'm laying there jeffrey wake up feel this it's disgusting look at me i'm just laying here there's like a furnace in me or something boy you're lucky you don't have to go through this you know i wouldn't if you quit waking me up [Applause] i told the kids watch out mom's going through some serious stuff like what remember those nights you didn't do your homework she'd get mad and yell at she goes yeah be a little different now she might start crying and then stab you so [Applause] and one more thing before i go i uh i want to share this last one i uh i've been sharing this story for a lot of years a lot of years and um the first time i shared uh the part about uh beating ryan in the crib ryan was 12 and we were at a gaither event and god put it on my heart to share that and i shared that i was scared to death and when i got off stage ryan walks over to me and he goes was i that boy you beat in the crib and i said you were daddy was a different man then and he put his arms around he says i forgive you for that and i didn't realize even now i mean it's amazing to me um if more fathers and sons would just i forgive you if i went to my father and said i forgive you my father would look to me and said for what it's amazing the power of what happened on that cross when i read of what jesus went through to the cross and as he was up there he cried out forgive them for they know not what they do wow that goes against every part of my being which is probably why it's so powerful i thank you for letting me share all that and one more story before i go because people ask is your wife aware the way you talk about no i'll give you an idea what she thinks is funny i'm in my chair at home and every man here you have a chair don't you sir you're down right you have a chair you know why that's your throne that's right and if you ever went missing they'd give a cushion to that chair to a bloodhound find that scent and then they'd revive the dog and send him on his way so i'm in my chair tammy comes up behind me give me a little neck rub like that she's scratching my head like that she got her arms around me like that she's nibbling on my ears and my neck kissing me like that couple minutes really nice you know pat me on the head like that and then she kisses my top top of my head she pats me she said i love you jeffrey and she's walking away i go i love you too baby that was nice it was nice 27 years that's nice 10 minutes later my son walks in he goes hey dad who drew the smiley face on your bald spot yeah what i thought was fingernails was permanent marker she's back to scratching artwork on my skull so i don't feel sorry for her she's sick and she's twisted so thank you guys very much god bless you

Channel: John Everett

Views: 63,452

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Id: yWjzibi8sM0

Length: 36min 19sec (2179 seconds)

Published: Wed May 11 2022