Is The Older Generation Out Of Touch With Our Youth?

every test get a good mark that's your job when you're in seminary you're meant to grow in your without burn yourself and figure out what you want you do you want to marry what you want to do with your life and learn and get good grades and then after that I'm going to get married but all this if at the end of the day we're not of course meant to learn other subjects but why is it such a stress on the students up like you need to get a good mark you have to succeed in your grades otherwise it's like oh my goodness no you're painting I agree in yeshiva when I was in each unit there were no tests what is the test proof there were no tests yeah you learned you studied because you're a Jew not because there's a test coming I'll look up my test paper ah I agree learn if learning Taylor should not become a formula it's not it's not what we call education there's some things I regret about it like I don't know how to write a book report I should but I never had to so so there are some things that are you know the discipline of a school system develop some talents for you but but the mordekaiser should not be like that shouldn't be a contest it is it is changing a little bit slowly younger teachers have different attitude it's getting better why not imagine a 16 year old principal no you couldn't vote now the rebel introduced a whole new thing when when you have when you learn something the main objective and the main purpose is so that you can teach you're not learning just to learn you know Aleph T Challa fret so I'm not sure how well the schools are living up to that which is a problem everybody thinks in are basica is exactly what the devil wants not necessarily and the human oh I will tell you exactly what the devil wants so part of the frustration is that you learn without and without an eye on what you're learning for yeah it's a myths we have to learn no it's not for you it's only for men so you're learning because this is information you need for your life why do you need this for your life and if it doesn't feel like you need it for your life but there are so many different knowledge --is so hopefully if the system or a school knows what it's doing it'll pick the right subjects for the right people it doesn't always happen so when you feel like this subject is irrelevant that's a problem first of all Theater should never feel irrelevant but it does who's fixing it who's gonna correct that thing every day or like you're learning like there are things that just don't have meaning and like you're supposed to be excited about doing it all but there are things you're just like how can I feel excited like oh that's not learning that's doing yeah but even learning like okay I learned I don't know a peso go back when I was like wow that's really beautiful great now what that's what I'm talking about what the school if it's if it's a successful if it's a successful teaching it should feel relevant don't unless you're going to clay wall now we're back to that yeah well that's again one of the recent developments which can change again because your grandmother didn't go to Qatar to seminary the question is if you're not getting married until you're 20 what are you gonna do between 17 and 20 oh that's a better solution the teacher a couple days ago on Tuesday what are you doing after high school thirty thousand dollars putting on here so my parents say yes yes just you know then just like yeah without going to seminary yeah why don't thank you so much okay good I I mean like it's very nice encourage people like like why are they so worried that you've got to go like whatever I do I do thanks for having me here like now and then not was wondering why they're so stressed about it I guess they're stressing invited more than we like I am who's they like the teacher is whatever this looks like we're talking about we just had shot of time for our grade and like they were talking about it like their whole experience like yeah you should go it's an amazing thing ever and it sounded like really cool travel it's fine everything but like what why do you think like why they wanted so much for you like on top of that so important then why our seminaries charging $25,000 per girl if it's so important that everybody wants it then for people who don't have the money for it help you know it's really gonna mess up the girl's life and center it's the seminary take ten thousand dollars okay you did um it's uh it's just stress you feel like a fake a whole thing and like go to I love Spencer good go to like I don't know like shears and stuff like I am NOT stressing myself out for you and then I'm paying you for that right no thank you you know travel myself I'll get my all like I don't really can use like hi I can it's like a messed up social me also we have to take these chests called gamers I don't know it is for seminary or for Pacifica but it's basically you have to memorize tons of information on the FAFSA my so montagnana haha and it's a crazy amount and girls just stress over it like why does my memorizing booklets all the information making me more qualified to go to seminary than anyone else shows that you really want to learn different ways some people can learn by memory here some people can't learn with the test some people I still have an easier time like expressing it in art or whatever so everybody's forced to take this test and that's gonna determine if you go in or not or if you have connection and that's gonna determine if you go in or not if you're not from here or you don't have connections been like okay figure it out no I'm not I'm not gonna squeeze myself in it even once you're in there they're like oh you get homesick I'm like I'm signing up for a homesick stress you are raised to be home if you're going to be independent to live by yourself to find out what you want I don't think you can do that it seems really independent of your parents by running away first of all you have a stable job right the house very clean everything's like like I was playing you that anyway not like so going to seminaries like a safe way of developing your independence the safest way because it's also boring right boring is safe but it's not worth my time and mental stress for that maybe I'll just show up so I think somebody should open up with no mental stress maybe shun button the button she's not seeking to be someone else to get into it but that's wrong like I don't know buttoning your puppy decides who you are really how do you have to get all stiff that way so what is a Fabian just curious when you for being have you ever been inspired by a forbidden no because it's not applicable what do you drink or something how do you get high hey you feel like I just like I think it's more of a trick you like an emotional thing no it's really cool though no no it works though I'm like sinking and like it's more emotional level or it is just real I I think she's not applicable like they teaching us wonderful things that's not this we can't really that we can't really it's not supposed to know but you don't go go it's supposed to be like a rush and then you go move your food no but it's just like you hear a beautiful story and then like you can see yourself connecting to and talking to and really opening up bringing in everything's gonna be out there but it depends if you want to accept it and you want to change from it or you want to just hear what they say man it's nice your stories it is nice and nice you're a lot of same things over and over again I mean it's what I don't really go anymore but like when it like in nine tenth grade I would hear a lot of the same things and guess you deserted me no hating how much you have seen thing just comes out of yours you can hear it anymore I don't talk about anything real there are these people like their way older than me I'd say 22 or like whatever so nicer stuff I expect them to be a little I'm not I'm not saying I love them everything they're amazing but like like I don't want to be like that 122 only way past that like I don't wanna be stuck on like ideas that like like I don't know whatever like you want it you want to be like something fun yeah I can't you spend I have an idea in my head I better there's good people they're really nice like I can't think of a word I was talking to some some women here in the community I was very surprised to hear them saying things that secular people were saying 40 years ago 40 years ago it's like they're catching up like 40 years later they're saying what people were saying 40 years ago so one woman said you know there's more to life than having babies I remember that was that was like the feminist rally cry from 40 years ago so I said oh there's more to life than having babies like what she said like good being a doctor I said you mean like a pediatrician being a baby doctor is more than having the baby what's more than having a baby well you can take care of the baby oh but first you have to have one so is there more to life than having babies if you mean there are other things yes there are other things more there's nothing more there's nothing more just yeah yeah yeah but when you think about it just I mean you don't have a baby there won't be any pediatricians there won't be any teachers there won't be any policemen there won't be any soldiers you won't need anything because there's no one to protect and no one to heal and want to teach you've basically stopped the world so imagine women decide not we're not having babies anymore because we have more important things to do and 10 years later it's all over the human race has ended that's ridiculous well then and then another another expression was a woman is not a baby-making machine wait wait wait wait let me think about that for a second yes who else can make a baby you're the only baby making me what are you suggesting somebody else should make babies yeah the word machine the word machine sounds a little fine don't be so sensitive you're a baby-making machine and it's not you're just a baby making machine just I don't make a baby you're out of a job so you're controlling the whole world there is nothing in the world that doesn't depend on your having a baby or somebody somebody better have a baby there's that I want to be a politician because I want to make society better what a society mean you mean my baby what is society I want to make the world better you mean trees you wanna make the weather better what do you want what do you like we are the world so you want to make the world better you want to make people better well there better be some people around it's not a goal it's just it's just normal life goal means a job but it should know it should that's that's the sad part of it what you'll learn I know what you're working with you're learning in high school and certainly what you'll learn a seminary it's supposed to help you raise your children if it doesn't something's wrong yes yes but seminary is supposed to make it better not worse that's what I'm saying if you're not learning stuff that is relevant to life it's frustrating education for the sake of education that's bad news even even but am i suffering from this glad they know it's a mitzvah for them to learn day and night game over Lila but when they keep learning stuff and they can't imagine how this is useful it's frustrating that's why they many buckram hate Gemara a debate a question an argument just give me the conclusion what do you drag me a cup if if the tannery man died Miriam couldn't decide back there like what do you want for me let them figure it out and come to a conclusion so a good yeshiva a really good yeshiva is one that can make learning gimr relevant to a butters life in some way it's gotta be something I need to do but if you don't feel like that it really is its destructive this it wrecks you yes yeah and that's why you're getting so much reaction or rebellion them well the good news is that Casillas does feel relevant not really you see even though [Laughter] [Music] it's always been true the most valuable learning that that the buffer does in yeshiva is the learning in this free time because then he learns wait where he wants some some people thrive on it that's way continues so as long as there are ten kids enjoying it the twenty other kids in class are gonna have to suffer on a home you know um we're talking by Shawn about like music and movies and TV shows and books and all that stuff and of course it has an impact on a person but what's with the religious steamer is that I'm not gonna say any but we're just you is that you don't know that they're paints or whatever uh for sure from a good place and you don't know what they're doing behind our doors was it make it what's the difference between that thing honestly it's not religious position well there are a few you Shiva's who don't allow listening to any singers they don't listen they sing us additional that's all but I'm saying like even with the singers that are religious and aren't religious how could you differentiate between what they're doing like me personally I don't have the drive to only listen to all the religious singers because you don't know what they're doing outdoors you don't know what's going on I can tell you I've run freed dan trust him there are you Shiva's who do not allow listening to avril I'm freed they'll produce some very silly Shibata two three before saying I'm super cuss it as I'm doing this I'm not listening to music I'm learning mother and that it up be a good person like it's actually the most self-centered thing ever because you're so self-absorbed what what am i doing and I can't do that yeah like it's so also they're really interesting where people I mean like who is they what just happened here everybody defines it too for themselves religious thinkers like okay maybe they're bad people like you don't know yeah and therefore can't trust them something right and what makes something wrong yeah so I said once to a group of married men you learn am i man and you come home a better husband and they said what does a minor have to do it being a good husband I so whoo-hoo-ho we are in trouble if you learn on my man you don't become a better husband you didn't learn anything so if if learning considers doesn't make you a better person you're not learning Civet if it makes you self-centered you're defeating the whole purpose of the whole thing no one is doing like it turns into like something else that is really bad let me tell you let me tell you what I see this says I said this says you are not here for yourself that's it that's it before facilities everybody believed my life is for me to make it the best it can be not only while I'm alive but even after I died I will have the best seat in GaN Eden the Baal Shem Tov came along and said that is nauseating it is you're here to be here so I said this says you are not here for you that's it put that in your pipe and smoke it now listen to what's happening now 300 years later people are cracking up really young people successful people they're cracking up why because they don't know why they're here it is a crisis there's this guy who's suing his parents they actually threw that Accord but he's expressing something that a lot of people are feeling I don't know why'd you give birth to me why am i alive even young children I didn't ask to be born that's actually a good thing see Syd this has been trying to tell you this and you didn't listen and now you're coming to the same conclusion out of misery instead of out of wisdom I didn't ask to be born why am I here I don't care exactly you don't care cuz it's not about you been trying to tell you that for 300 years so when people get frustrated like why do I have to do this I'm not interested I don't I'm not even interested in the life leave me alone and then you come to them and you say you know the world was not created for you knock it off you exist because you're necessary in someone's plan not yours you weren't he weren't there to ask I couldn't I couldn't get your permission because it's not your project so what is life all about life is all about the fact that the a brush that needs you what's the proof duh like what where does it say that what does it say it know like how did we miss that look bodacious burger out start at the beginning the first words of the tiger bodacious burger awakened God doesn't need anything what he doesn't need anything didn't you just say bodacious butter with you so if you learn nothing else but those first words what would I tell you huh so what do you know from that the first thing you know about it is that you didn't create the world he did so so he needs why didn't he ask you why didn't he ask you before he created you if it doesn't feel relevant something's very wrong but if you're necessarily a job and have a life besides obviously you're like your children should be a priority but like shouldn't you have something else for yourself no two things first of all college is terrible when the debe said not to go to college everybody was surprised a long time ago colleges were not so bad today even non-jews are saying if you send your son or daughter to college check up on them see what's going on it's a dangerous place besides which unless you want to be a doctor you don't have to go to college you make more money if you just start your own business not limited to like a private practice to start a business you need like the backup like your go to college to learn the skills to do whatever it is you want to pursue you don't just go to college without an idea of what you want to do oh but that was not yes II that makes more sense that was not the way people fought the thinking was you have to go to cop what else you gonna do gotta go to college it's like it's exactly like like based rifki saying you have to go to seminary so college was like a religion and it never was so the rebel was do it first of all that ever was saying no you don't have to go to college don't start a new religion that was that was number one number two to go to college just because you're unemployed is a terrible idea you just become lazy you become spoiled you do is have beer parties and get drunk because they know what they're doing there also a good idea so there are there are a ways of avoiding some of the problems that colleges have that's number one number two if if you do know what you want to do and you have to have a license then of course what choice do you have so the Deb is saying no one should ever be a doctor that's crazy only Jews are doctors so you have to have Jews becoming doctors right but it has to be real you don't go to medical school for three years and then decide that don't be a doctor so you don't do that to yourself but here's here's the important thing and and this applies to many many subjects there are certain rules black and white yes no good bad that's it in every one of those rules there are exceptions of course there are exceptions to every rule everybody gets married has children raised as a family everybody if you don't know of anybody will never get married there are exceptions to every rule but sometimes when we see an exception to the rule we start to doubt the rule which is not smart the rule is a good rule it has an exception so it has an exception but the rule is still a rule and you see two exceptions to the rule it's still a rule you see ten exceptions it's still a rule the exceptions don't cancel the rule that's very important because so many people got confused a woman is a woman not every woman okay oh but there are a lot of them fine it doesn't change the rule so that's an important thing to remember also when there is a rule you put yourself on the side of the rule not on the side of the exception because what does it mean to become insane to start the thing that you're not part of the rule oh I'm weird okay there you go bye bye so you always think of yourself as being the norm not the exception so sometimes so many women who are married not having children they're worried you try to encourage them it'll happen just really you know try this try that but but maybe I'm not meant to have children you mean maybe you're weird now you're starting to crack up I started to think I'm insane why would you be different oh I have an act don't become part of the exceptional stick with the rule I was like in essence that Evers answer to so many questions there's the right path the middle path rule stick to it you know I don't think I'm so normal well it has to remind you yeah yeah you're not your normal so if you really have a an urge or a need to become a doctor to become a scientist or whatever okay so find the best college for that subject and go for that subject you really can't you have to take a little math and you have to take a little history and you have to take a look just to get whatever that's a problem but yes if you minimize that as much as possible and stay focused on what you're there for then it's not as bad because then you're going to you're going to associate with other students who are also focused and know what they want but it but college terrible right that's that that rule is absolutely correct colleges are horrible and in some ways even for medicine they're horrible they're still teaching old-fashioned ideas because the books have not been rewritten so they're still using old texts so they're still giving you the old way bold meaning like 30 years ago they're not up to date with the most modern and they don't they don't allow you to think freely you become like a machine and that's why the greatest doctors are the ones who break out of that mold and start to think original thoughts not just follow the books so the point is this when the net beset colleges are bad they are very bad but the never himself encouraged some people will go to college yes there are exceptions to every rule that make college good more children more children yes it is 1412 I say work a bargain down to oh god forbid don't do that because you're gonna ruin him you're gonna ruin yourself and your kids so that's what I'm saying like even the people that it's part of the exception it's it's something that many people is something that needs to be done that's that's a very big topic how many college students are unemployed almost all unemployed people went to college they can't find a job people find a job doesn't pay enough they can't pay their bills what really controls that what can you do to make sure you have enough money the answer is nothing there's nothing you can do to guarantee you're gonna have money people who have no brains whatsoever open up business and they become millionaires and the smartest people are driving taxis because they can't find a job it's amazing this is completely out of our control part no sir so there was a really delightful hustle Hewitt lived here many years he had a butcher store and another butcher store opened up down Kingston Avenue so somebody came to this first butcher and said oh this is terrible the guy opens up with the three three blocks down another butcher store he's gonna take away all your customers so that the first butcher said customers let him have them all customers are a pain in the neck I want prime no sir not customers and partners that comes from the a bridge they're not from the customer he was right they both made lots of money so we don't really know and we can't control so to say I'm gonna do this so that we'll have money whatever said many times to people you have another child it opens up a new door for more money why should they bridge they give you money for for children when you only have two when you have three children will give you enough for three how will they what I mean how a million different ways or he won't even if you have a job and even if you went to college no guarantees but if the family really needs more money you get a job you have brains they're useful so it brings in a few more dollars and it keeps you busy and out of trouble you know what you're bored at home another thing is if you have a real talent you have to use that talent not for money just fur so your own health if you if you stifle a talent it makes you miserable besides to waste talented people who use their talent otherwise we end up with a bunch of dough people and so the artist Salman Klieman was in cracker bud and he he was painting just came natural right didn't go to school he didn't go to art art classes just started painting and everybody there you know very sudhish and old-fashioned and Russian and and they said fair Sudha Shabazz are you doing painting wasting your time so you got a little nervous about it you wrote to the lab okay he writes to the Debu can I be an artist who says I don't know can you I get are you talented what do you mean can you be an artist either you are oh you're not so that ever says go to the experts and ask them if what you have is a real talent and if it is then you do it not don't do it and an even more beautiful story you know le lip skirt huh he would play the accordion by the Chanukah rallies and made some records he taught music anyway so when he was a buffalo he was here on 770 and once a week hip he disappeared for a couple of hours snuck away so when they reported the hon Halle reported to the Dead but what's going on with the buckaroo so when they make came to him they said he doesn't come he doesn't come regularly he disappears it doesn't come to to the Seder so there episode find out where he goes don't just complain that he didn't show up find out where he goes they found out that he goes to take piano lessons music lessons so they wrote to the dead but they said he goes for music lessons listen to this you never said who pays for them how does he pay for it you know the lips cruising and there's you so they have 22 children for 20 so he's one of them that nobody's giving him money for piano lessons how was he paying for it so they went they asked him how are you paying for the piano lessons he says he scratches together long he asks for loans so they told it ever that he's borrowing money to listen to this they never said from now on the yeshiva is paying they were shocked all the schools are shocked by the Deborah's answers so so they'd ever said to them you'll see we'll have a lot of nos from him that way he's going down going down the tubes he'll be good but you don't stifle a talent even after your fever has to pay for amazing what else is on your mind [Music] I'm not sure you need a degree to be useful so that's what if your degree expires in other words you want to be able to do something yes yeah you don't necessarily have to have a degree for that you have to have a talent and an ambition you just won't get paid as much right if you have a degree you could ask for more money I think that's going to change also it's not that's not reliable why like before I was just something about like very like it's like yeah marriage that you wanted husband to learn why do people like 1000 slang and Kylie all day I don't know crazy counting their pennies and their struggling kids and do everything by themselves I think that their husband should be more or he should either be home helping or out working now but this this sitting in Kayla your whole life it's for its for the exceptions not for the rule how many people really want to sit and learn their whole life and how many people in Cole are actually learning not just getting away from their family duties but it's so cool it really is it's so cruel to the wife not looking for a wife of their daughters only some people do that that's not the rule in in the misogynist schools you're brainwashed every day you'll grow up and you'll marry a learner at al-adha home it's their hole it's as its as rigid as in the secular world you'll go to college and by then you'll marry at all McCallum and you will suffer for the rest of your life so that he can learn wrong not not that you should be learning all day but why is it wrong to have an you learn saying who's to say like which movement is the person feel like their parents support them and then they could do that oh okay so Givens given very specific circumstances that's not a joke if he learns more if he's gonna be a real learner you have to pay more to marry him it's horrendous they become so arrogant they become faucets and they look down at their wife like you're just here to let me learn what excuse me so what it does to the character of the of the husband is horrible spoiled brat the one hand like you're told you just have to have a moon and be talked on and you're not in charge of whatever like who's gonna come but on the other hand you're supposed to make your Kaylie so what does that mean if you're not like you have to do something in order to get money you can't just sit at home and say like oh god older I'd like so for five thousand years people made partner so and there was no such thing as college how they made a product and they sold it right right that's that that's the the message that we get that's a day the only way to make money is to have a degree and to have but that's changing people are now saying no you'll never get rich if you go to college then you'll just get a job nine-to-five they'll pay you a certain amount which they pay everybody for that you'll never get rich but you open a little store in Crown Heights and you don't open the store till 11:30 in the morning and then you close at 5:00 because you're bored you make a fortune what what is that some people make enough money like right now ahead of Perm they're gonna make enough money just put them Foods like enough money for the whole year they can close the store the rest of the time that's wonderful if you can do something you enjoy that's a real blessing like what I do it's very good now we started based Hana 50 years ago so I'm sitting there learning all day with a bunch of women who just want to learn and it's phat and they pay me for this that's amazing so I gotta tell you just from from from my own experience you know how much how much does this Lucas pay we married off 14 children now you asked me how we paid for it I have no idea when I think about it get scared it's over it's in the past and it still scares him like what how do you pay for 14 weddings I don't I don't remember I don't know I can't imagine what happened it's almost like who paid for it I do so let me say it's a mystery it's a mystery it really is and never once said why should you have many children because when you get older and your children are all married what are you gonna do you're gonna go visit them how long can you visit your daughter or your daughter-in-law before they throw you out so you can stay two weeks but then you got to leave so if you have only two children you're only busy for a month have many children you can keep going oh we care we care we care with that just a girl and you you're a good bubbie and you're a good lady and still feel useful and needed [Music] a person who wants to do that he wants to get marry when they're like 19 20 or even whatever whatever you have so many kids then it like you feel I mean unfortunately whenever like I think generally you you lose your value yep look there are things that different societies come up with and then there are things that are just nature for example why do women have babies why don't men have babies yeah it's a good question no it's not like who decided that women should have the babies no people woke up and said women have this thing with which they can make babies so who decided we're mission made baby nobody decided that I don't know if like who is the first woman to get pregnant I don't mean in reality even factly imagine the first woman got nobody he'll never know whatever was pregnant the first woman just got pregnant but that God who did this to me so they discovered what a woman is so it's not like you teach women that they should have babies teach women have babies in our society we believe women should have babies what are you kidding the that you're only worth is like they're worth your your sanity in general what if someone doesn't want to grow up in okay somebody doesn't want that's a choice but let's say a woman does want and can't why does she feel yeah so why does it bother them so much because they're supposed to wreck no that's right you don't have to say it a woman who doesn't have children doesn't feel it doesn't feel like a woman not because you're supposed to that's where hittable ahem title mitzvahs the average that made it a mitzvah which you would do anyway just goes natural all right so a big big part of the problem is that we're confused about gender we don't know what it means to be a healthy woman we certainly don't know what it means to be a healthy man we're so confused and it's terrible I don't mean terrible because of religion it's terrible for our sanity so a woman who has a baby is in heaven because she's so herself a woman who can't have a babies like what am I not a woman Edgar it really hurts to the core yeah what do the men feel they don't have cable wouldn't it's different a man who doesn't have children feels like a failure it doesn't matter doesn't matter the woman who can't have children it's not her fault either so that was not a question of gleam it's a question of I mean imagine somebody is not growing there's a disease like that you just stopped growing so their body doesn't mature their mind doesn't mature so they're there they're in their 40s but they're still 15 it's not their fault but it's horrible so having children is not a mitzvah an obligation something become the community expects you to do it's it's you becoming complete your body wants to produce a baby tries to produce a baby and doesn't then it's so frustrating even if you don't want to have a baby I'm saying it's a struggle between your your opinion and your nature so your body keeps saying where's the baby you go through the cycle every month you think okay the body thinks ok this month I'm gonna have a baby no so you tell yourself I don't know what a baby I don't care I don't and your body says excuse me what do you mean though yes so there's that internal struggle that makes you crazy which is very different for the man because for the man it is a mitzvah and it is an accomplishment that he's supposed to be able to claim I became a father so if he can't or if it just doesn't happen he's disappointed he's he feels like a failure but it's not his body that is complaining like for a woman so we have to it's amazing that we have more respect for nature than the secular before because they're convinced that everything is your opinion and your feelings nothing natural so a woman doesn't have to be a woman a man doesn't have to be a man even if you are a woman you don't have to have babies you don't have to have babies the normal way you can go to a laboratory and they'll mix it up and they'll put it in a tube but don't pick yeah baby it's so crazy it's just crazy and that's why we have a we have a crazy Society and by the way it all starts in college literally they say to you you have to be open-minded just because you're a woman doesn't mean you're a woman think open-minded it's insane why you love yourself why do you need somebody to love you according to psychology alright so why so why did why did the secular world come up with this idea that you must have lovest take that they're making you're listening that is the mistake that they're making is they they under they instinctively know it it can't be just me you have to love me why do I need you can't be just me I love myself and that's enough no but they're making a little mistake I don't need you to love me I don't I love myself plenty I don't need you to love me I need you to need me we need to be needed we don't need to be loved I mean it's nice but we don't need to be loved we need to be needed why cuz it's not about me so if I don't need to be born and the a bridge that doesn't need me to be born know what's going on so the human need which psychology does not understand the human need is who am i necessary for I'm not necessary for myself so if you really need me it gives me a purpose if he really needs me Wow amazing purpose make sense why did the Baal Shem Tov have to tell us this because religious Jews got it into their head that the whole Tyler is for them that they brush their doesn't need you he's just doing you a favor telling you how to make your life perfect so they were all depressed there was no simcha that all the mitzvahs and all of you this guy is not for the a brush that it's for them so that they can get the gun laden that they can be a goggle that they can be at Sadiq that they can be and I was so depressing so am ia sorry oh he's a bigger tonic it was miserable so where does it meet to be chilled to be killed means I'm not doing anything special this is just the way things are relaxed so when a Jew puts on to Lindsey Oh what oh he's just being Jewish what are you getting excited about oh wow he must really be religious no it's not this is a Jew that's what Jews do chill [Music] taken that true don't make no it's not like breathing breathing is boring and try not to see and that's what Messiah is gonna do when Messiah comes all the mitzvahs are going to be just natural I mean they're a religious Jew a non-religious Jew just Jews Jewish what is exciting hand gliding jumping out of an airplane it's exciting there's this 98 year old guy I think it was a survivor am i mixing two stories here no the old the oldest person to to jump out of a plane not the oldest person in the world he thought it was a very exciting I'm glad it I'm glad he didn't have a heart attack so dangerous for a guy that age from the excitement alone you can die oh yeah because it blows your fuses but that's a different kind of excitement that's an excitement because you're doing something unnecessary unusual I'm just gonna go away I don't want to do that to myself so what is the most exciting exciting friends going out there's exciting and there's pleasurable nobody nobody's gonna ask you what's the most pleasurable yeah like me like a feeling of excitement like I'm anticipating no an overwhelming feeling good if you go I must tell you and you give somebody candles and then she writes to you and says you've changed my life it's a movie exam it is it is for us the most exciting thing if this guy was not a Lubavitch ah who says that this Leviathan guy came to some place and he had the opportunity to put on film with this guy and you know what that means to all about her so the world knows that we have this crazy thing that what if you could put on film with somebody most exciting in other words when you know that you are serving someone else it is more exciting than anything you can do for yourself it is and that ever did that to us without her say this without there ever is it yes a world that do for me so I put on tefillin with the guy so what will that do for me aha sir doesn't ask that question what will it do for me nothing you're a worthless being can't least be helpful like this react has said that I'm quitting I can't I can't I feel like such a hypocrite I'm telling everybody else to get better and I'm not can't stand my hypocrisy so I'm gonna quit so I said to him first of all if you quit you'll stop being a hypocrite no no but you are a hypocrite whether you're showing it or not by being actually if you're showing your hypocrisy but you're a hypocrite hypocrisy is a personality trait whether you do it or don't do it you know say you're a you're a dishonest person so even if you don't do it you're still a hypocrite like even if you're not lying about this you're still a liar so I say you're still gonna be a hypocrite but you won't even be useful so that ever sent us with us to say look as long as you're a hypocrite can't you at least be useful so you think that ever didn't know you're a hypocrite and before Ashley f goes on sniffles they test you to see if you're a hypocrite know why I know you're a hypocrite what do you want to do spend the rest of your life trying not to be a hypocrite that that's a good purpose in life right work on yourself right instead spend years making yourself not a hypocrite and you succeed I am NOT a hypocrite anymore well good for you that is so petty that is so like on this you spent years you see the whole secular world diet jog get healthy the obsession so it's not for yourself why are you calling it for yourself then it's good but this emphasis you it is if it is for yourself that's petty don't don't boast about it that's like I ate breakfast well good for you right so you don't boast about it you know boast about yeah I get breakfast yeah I jogged like that I got a got a brief huh that's it I'm a jogger what's your read Chuck you see what I'm saying like what does that a new what is it a boost about because you took care of yourself anyway we should continue huh what you have to go back so we should go through that whole page sentence by sentence and see what it really means you since I thought it was her daughter that we're using three but then how does that see that was a beautiful story and we didn't see that she did it for the right reasons no she had a good reason and it and he still didn't do it that's what makes Emmet Sadiq if she just wanted to commit adultery and he didn't well the fact is they both know that's what that's what makes the story after story and not just yeah there was this bad guy but even Pilate that's the real lesson that's why we need the tailor to tell us that story we don't need the failure to tell us a story that if a boy is tempted to commit adultery agent Felicity the tailor that's sheva mitzvos bnei nya so there always has to be more to the story than the Gordon arey lesson like Joseph and his brothers what's the moral of the story yeah but they didn't you see that was part of the insult they sold him for nothing that's so insulting you sold me for what for ten dollars it all ended up good no so most people say the moral of the story is Yaakov should not have shown favoritism really causes jealousy look what happens it seem like it's a big theme in tighter that jealousy this is is destructive and unnecessary what was the problem between Kane and Hevel jealousy between Joseph and his brothers jealousy between Yaakov and Asaph and what is anti-semitism what is anti-semitism jealousy so what's gonna happen when Messiah comes instead of being jealous that your brother happens to have the right idea about how to serve the a verse that that is better than your idea why are you jealous why aren't you proud why aren't you proud because those are the options if you have a brother who is much smarter than you they have only one of two options either be jealous or be proud so until now the reaction was always jealous mushiya coming means instead of the world being jealous the whole world will be proud to be part of the world which neighbors too created for the Jews but you're right when do you stop being jealous it's not about you yeah so what was the other thing the Baal Shem Tov taught simcha you see the connection if it's not about you you can really have a versus throw if it's not about you you can really be happy what what else did they what else at the bar time to teach the day bridge that is creating the world every second because if he doesn't create the world every second the world will stop existing what is that huh not about you so what's the good news that it's not about me takes a lot of pressure off me and we think of a thing of it in terms of school or even parenting it was always until until the day - really it was always what's gonna be with you what's wrong with you why are you like this why don't you do when are you gonna become a mensch you have responsibility you have to do you have to become you have to a lot of pressure the the truth is you don't have to be anything you don't have to become anything you don't have to do anything the pressure is not on you you didn't create the world so where's the pressure the pressure is the eBrush then needs you the pressures on him he created the world the purpose of creation is his purpose so how did I become anxious some by problem not everything for me because it's like I was doing great I did everything I should I did everything for the people and all of a sudden boom something happen and then everything and all the Sun that's all about me again that's that's where you have to bounce back to get back to sanity means you get back to it's not about me that's how you get over a grief or over a tragedy and but here's the positive good news if the pressure is not on me then it's on him which means I don't need this at all but he needs me desperately so it's gotta be two parts to this picture it's not about me but I'm absolutely necessary to him so it's not enough to say it's not about me you got to finish the sentence it's not about me so so it's about him so he needs me well if he needs me then he needs me infinitely because he doesn't know how to do things halfway see now you understand what if it's us to fill in this is our lifts it's filling it's so amazing stop a guy in the street and ask him to put on film why I don't need this he doesn't need this what are we doing so just imagine when they never made the myths somebody would come to the demo sakes what's what's the point I don't need to get him to put on tulle and he doesn't think he needs to put on film so what's the point I just imagine what the devil would say that's the point it's exactly you don't need it he doesn't need it but you got to do it no get the point it's not about me it's not about him it's about the a burster oh say if you're doing it for the a burstered then it really doesn't matter whether you're gonna do it again or not like from people said well what's the point he'll put on tefillin once what does that make him from no doesn't make him from so what's the point why do you think the point is for him to become something or for you to become something oh I got him to put onto him it's not about us get with the program so if you can get a Jew to do something for the abus that even once in his life that's infinitely valuable whatever temple once said when a Jew does a mitzvah the a burster you know lovely dish that's all that ever said the a bridge that SATs gets up with that forever no it's a tree means a toy to the a bridge there this is like a delightful pleasure forever so now we know what I said this means I said this means I'm here to serve not to be served that is so sane it's so normal if we could get everybody to just understand this a little bit all psychiatrists will be out of a job do you imagine a person comes to a psychiatrist and says I'm feeling so nope my mother never loved me my father was so demanding and controlling I can I am man my whole life is imagine the psychiatrist saying excuse me it's not about you you imagine that instead of saying oh how do you feel about that so how did that make you feel oh yeah you need to love yourself more love myself more that's what makes people sick love yourself more you're already insane with yourself love you need more so again going back to the school you have to what's wrong with you what's gonna be who's gonna marry you you're never gonna do a what is this business attack against me I'm never good I'm never I have to I must excuse me and even ask to be born no pressure on me oh sorry I didn't create the world what do you want from me like people write to the dead why was there a Holocaust how come God makes people die excuse me where did I create the world what is this and did you create the world knock it off alright people say how am I supposed to believe in God I don't understand why does he do oh you don't understand you see how it messes you up well I never saw God so what oh poor you you never saw God if the only reality is what I understand the first thing is are you capable of believing or are you too hung up on what you think you know no no see what is an atheist because because nothing is real unless I think so no that's what you believe but why do you believe you believe that he is more infinite why do you believe that because he is not because it makes sense to in other words you have to find the MS but you will never find ms you'll never find ms if you're judging it according to you so how do we know ms the only way you could know ms is if you stop thinking that it's about you otherwise you're the MS and that's it then you're an atheist ok so then like that ever says who you're gonna believe some guy who came out of the desert and said I had a dream or the millions of people who stood at her see that based on what you think based on what happened you weren't there it's not what you think look listen listen listen to this problem somebody says on Shavuos three thousand years ago millions of jews stood at have seen a and a person says how am i supposed to know that you're not supposed to know that you're a human zyk you were born two years ago how are you supposed to know what happened three thousand years ago you see the arrogance that's selfish what do you want to believe I'm saying what you ask the person what do you want to believe no based on the clean not on your feelings about it so there's a claim that they was there a guy born in a stable and his name is Yoshi of course was there a guy who came out of the desert and decided to make a new religion if you don't believe history you're being silly there's the interpretation there's the interpretation of history that's a different story yeah so was there a guy named Mohammed did he start a new religion was there an event that her ceiling no so people say well I don't know I know you don't know you weren't there what are you saying I don't know I didn't I didn't think you knew what did this thing happen at Mount Sinai what do you mean you don't know you never heard so why would you think why would you think that yeah it wasn't 2 million it was a million and a half but did not the hair seen that happen what's the question why would you question it if you were saying right because because it happened not because I think so what is the atheist the atheist said oh I don't think so you don't think so you go back what about I'm saying the one guy came up Mohammed Shah from Christian religion yes can appreciate religion I'm also came up and said this is a god this is it saying if you wouldn't look at her seeing that if you look at the Ottoman one person who came out who claimed no that's where there have to be heresy night otherwise it would be Avram's religion not Davis Taz religion yeah oh you believe that that part I believe I don't think the whole thing happened but that mountain over our heads oh that was nasty of course so listen listen listen to this if I gave in fact we talked about this once before a guy comes back from Australia he's an explorer and he says you know there's an animal in Australia it hops around on two feet and the female carries its baby in a pocket here's a pocket and you say that is so weird I might have believed that or hey I'm not so naive I'm too intelligent to believe such Bubba mices is that intelligent is it why so you should believe everything you hear so maybe no no about kangaroo right so if the Explorer comes and says there's a kangaroo and you say well maybe no you're not being intelligent imagine if the guy says to the to the Explorer are you kidding I never heard of such a thing what would the explorer say huh I'm an explorer hello what's the job of an explorer to discover things you never heard or imagined you say I never saw anything like that right become an explorer so what kind of argument is this I never saw that I never heard that a stupid argument so when the guy comes and says there is such an animal nobody's asking you to live by kangaroos but I'm talking about the function of intelligence the function of intelligence is you hear something new you're thrilled live and learn you just learn something so in college in college you are taught not to believe anything unless you can prove it it is so stupid now it's cool so what should an intelligent person do if somebody comes to you and says there's an animal there's an animal down there that carries its babies in a pocket what should your reaction be tell me more how does it give birth it lays an egg doesn't what kind of animal is it that would be an intelligent reaction so if somebody comes to you and says three thousand years ago the a broish that spoke to the jewish people on her c night you say i never heard of such a thing don't be an idiot I never saw I know was three thousand years ago you were born yesterday so what should an intelligent person say that research to find out whether it happened yes tell me more God spoke at my side what did he say you don't know then your information is not very valuable in the beginning God created the world in six days six thousand years ago oh how do you know that the question is this the question is do you have conflicting information then what's your problem so if a person said oh okay so God created the world six thousand years ago in six days I got no problem with that right so the theory of evolution doesn't say it it couldn't have been said it could also have had fun it could have been maybe three million but that's a theory no hate the age is conflicted evolving from monkeys is a theory not a fact so yes it could have been but it didn't so going back to her ceiling if person says a bridge to spoke at Mount Sinai I know I don't believe that why the only way you can have an intelligent rejection of that is it if you say what on shifu's that year nah shavoo is that year God was in Cleveland okay now we got a problem yes so if you have no intelligent reason of course sorry about that so first of all if we looked I'm sure if we if we looked we would find absolutely not in popular history books because they just started recently but in ancient traditions you're gonna find like in in Switzerland in in the Nordic countries they have this myth or this story that they pass down about a flood that wiped out the whole world so somebody once said oh you see tor is not true that's a story everybody tells excuse me if it happens everybody tell us the story what kind of argument is that so actually I'm in a movie a documentary that a guy in Minnesota made finding evidence for every part of the story of UGS Messiah everybody I can it's not none of them none of the history books what you want Egypt to write it in their history book they did you just have to look for it but it's all there so it's simple the simple conclusion is if you don't have an intelligent reason to reject something then you learn something new and what's gonna happen if later you're gonna find out that it's not true then you learned another thing but to say no no no I don't believe anything unless you give me proof now you would still be living in caves you don't need this I'm saying yep dependent its intelligence not proof see if we had proof no no you want proof because somebody once lied to you and you're now terrified it's an emotional weakness oh no no I'm not gonna believe that because you were once embarrassed for being naive you don't need it intelligence means I can understand things you don't have to show it to me because if everything I know is what I see and measure and touch I don't need intelligence animals can do that too that you want to prove everything that you want that you learn it why because you're insecure top of the mountain and I don't know what everyday like why should I do that okay that's a that's a very good question but it's a separate question from did it happen well they're saying do that because we're doing this in memory of this everybody so ever how do I know that Herman I stopped it so cheap that question is illegitimate it happened whether you know it or not the question is so what so what happened I'm not interested same thing with I can't believe in God because then I'm gonna have to follow I don't know there are plenty of people who believe in God and they don't follow anything so it's two separate questions so when somebody says to you why do you believe in God he's not asking you to prove that there's a god what he's saying is so what why why are you so caught up with this ok so God created the world so what why so created the world from me so I do it my way what you have to do it his way so what when they say when they say why do you believe they really mean why do you care so God gave the Torah three that yeah so God gave that over three thousand years ago that's why you can't eat pork do what you want but I'm saying don't don't prove that there's a god that's not the question that there is a God is a well-established fact the question is so what so what say you have to change your whole life the course there's a God so the fact that God created the world is not simply a fact it's a romantic involvement that's why it matters God created the world good thank you once a year I'll do a sacrifice for you I'll give you a goat or something but what it's not God created the world God needs you more than you need him so why do you care question is that you feel it but that's why we that's why we need a failure to tell us the other fact there thanks perfectly fine and they're happy for happy 9 we're obviously but why so why don't we use here they're not nobody's happy without it I can just do Bowie chauffeurs happiness that's right oh yes oh that's just like a like a bandaid on their problem the problem is well what do I need this one why am I here see here's part of the proof and mistake everybody says you need love if nobody loves you you're gonna be miserable you can't function you're gonna be depressed you're gonna be suicidal you must have love where is that coming from why do you need someone to love you why love yourself why do you need somebody to love you according to psychology all right so why so why did why did the secular world come up with this idea that you must have let the mistake that they're making you're listening to this the mistake that they're making is they they under they instinctively know it it can't be just me you have to love me why do I need you can't be just me I love myself and that's enough no but they're making a little mistake I don't need you to love me I don't I love myself plenty I don't need you to love me I need you to need me we need to be needed we don't need to be loved I mean it's nice but we don't need to be loved we need to be needed why because it's not about me so if I don't need to be born and the a bridge that doesn't need me to be born and what's going on so the human need which psychology does not understand the human need is who am i necessary for I'm not necessary for myself so if you really need me it gives me a purpose if he really needs me Wow amazing purpose makes sense why did the Baal Shem Tov have to tell us this because religious Jews got it into their head that the whole Torah is for them that the average there doesn't need you he's just doing you a favor telling you how to make your life perfect so they were all depressed there was no some hugs that all the mitzvahs and all of you described is not for the eBrush that it's for them so that they can get the gun Laden said they didn't be a goggle that they can be at Southwick that they can be and I was so depressing so am ia sorry oh he's a bigger Tariq it was miserable so where's it me to be killed to be killed means I'm not doing anything special this is just the way things are relaxed so when a Jew puts on to Lindsey oh what oh it's just being Jewish what are you getting excited about oh wow he must really be religious no he's not this is a Jew that's what Jews do chill [Music] taken that true don't make no it's not like breathing breathing is boring and try not to see and that's what Messiah is gonna do when Messiah comes all the mitzvahs are going to be just natural I mean they're a religious Jew a non-religious Jew just Jews Jewish what is exciting hand gliding jumping out of an airplane it's exciting there's this 98 year old guy I think it was a survivor am i mixing two stories here no the oh the oldest person to to jump out of a plane not the oldest person in the world he thought it was a very exciting I'm glad it I'm glad he didn't have a heart attack so dangerous for a guy that age from the excitement alone you can die oh yeah that's exciting because it blows your fuses but that's a different kind of excitement that's an excitement because you're doing something unnecessary unusual I'm just gonna go away I don't want to do that okay I have to make you save myself so what is the most exciting exciting friends going out traveling for me there's exciting and there's pleasurable nobody nobody's gonna ask you what's the most pleasurable yeah like me like a feeling of excitement like I'm anticipating no an overwhelming feeling good if you go I must tell you and you give somebody candles and then she writes to you and says you've changed my life it's a movie make sense it is it is for us the most exciting thing if this guy was not a Labov etre who says that this Lavater guy came to some place and he had the opportunity to put on film with this guy and you know what that means to all about her so the world knows that we have this crazy thing that what if you could put on film with somebody most exciting in other words when you know that you are serving someone else it is more exciting than anything you can do for yourself it is and that ever did that to us without her say this without there ever is it yes a world that do for me hopper on film with the guy so what will that do for me aha sir doesn't ask that question what will it do for me nothing you're a worthless being can't least be helpful like this react has said that I'm quitting I can't I can't I feel like such a hypocrite I'm telling everybody else to get better and I'm not can't stand my hypocrisy so I'm gonna quit so I said to him first of all if you quit you'll stop being a hypocrite no no but you're a hypocrite now whether you're showing it or not by being Ashley if you're showing your hypocrisy but you're a hypocrite hypocrisy is a personality trait whether you do it or don't do it now say you're a you're a dishonest person so even if you don't do it you're still a hypocrite like even if you're not lying about this you're still a liar so I say you're still gonna be a hypocrite but you won't even be useful so that ever sent us with us to say look as long as you're a hypocrite can't you at least be useful so you think that ever didn't know you're a hypocrite and before Ashley f goes on swiffers they test you to see if you're a hypocrite know why I know you're a hypocrite what do you want to do spend the rest of your life trying not to be a hypocrite that that's a good purpose in life right work on yourself right instead spend years making yourself not a hypocrite and you succeed I am NOT a hypocrite anymore well good for you that is so petty that is so like on this you spent years so you see the whole secular world diet jog get healthy the obsession so it's not for yourself why are you calling it for yourself then it's good but this emphasis you it is if it is for yourself that's petty don't don't boast about it that's like I ate breakfast well good for you right so you don't boast about it you know boast about ya ain't breakfast yeah I jog like that I got a gotta breathe huh but I'm a jogger where's your red Chuck you see what I'm saying like what is that a new what is it a boost about cuz you took care of yourself anyway we should continue huh what you have to go back so we should go through that whole page sentence by sentence and see what it really means

Channel: Chassidus with Rabbi Manis Friedman

Views: 7,413

Rating: 4.7543859 out of 5

Keywords: Rabbi Manis Friedman, Manis Friedman, 11213.org, 11213org, Chabad Chassidus, Chabad, Chassidus, Tanya, Kabbalah, Torah, Daily Study, Judaism, Jewish Thought, Jewish

Id: aU0NqGMYwy0

Length: 146min 6sec (8766 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 04 2019