The Rebbe Warned Us About This For 50 Years...

so really the main trick in raising children is to get them away from themselves to wean them away from themselves it also happens to be the main point of cussedness so the meet the main message and we have to be really we have to be very resourceful in finding ways of conveying this message but the message is it's not about you they're getting the opposite message what's gonna be with you why are you like this why aren't you like that and they hate it it's a generational thing that I don't knows the generation before mushiya any expectation that is made of them they reject it's like I don't have to do anything leave me alone and they're right because there's a big difference between the expectation that he should become or he should be or he should do versus what has to happen there's an objective reality now we're suffering from being too subjective so there's also an objective reality so that the the language that we absorbed from our parents you have to when will you what's going to be with you we got to drop that language completely and what needs to be inspiring is an objective greater goal or purpose or mission and and and that ever warned us about this for 50 years you can't do what was done in the past it's not gonna work there was one year that we care was that ever said that this year is going to be called and dedicated to the year of the of yellowed V Alda it's the year of yellowed viondra and the neighbor said I'm specifically calling it yellowed v Alda not been Obus because this has nothing to do with the parents it has nothing to do with your being somebody's daughter or somebody's son this is children independent of their parents pretty scary stuff but it's so true so let me give you a brief summary of the history of cities because we got stuck somewhere the first three generations of Habad Hassidim had one theme one goal and that is that you decide the the enthusiasm the inspiration that we have should not come from outside it has to come from inside Plinius you can't be inspired by a mollify sadiq by an S by a miracle by by and that's so external it's so powerful but so external it wears off she got to keep taking like a drug yeah you have to keep repeating it because it's not yours so the alta Deborah and the Nicoletta bandit some ascetic their whole emphasis was don't be a hits and that's it this huh Kitson is the opposite of please don't don't be external don't be superficial don't get excited about things that are not you so there's a rebel who can who can really can bring dead people back to life so you're gonna be as huset why you want to bring dead people back to life Wow look at this ness yeah and words have to do whatever the session so in those three generations has siddhis created a new kind of human being who truly is not interested in Milwaukee and going to heaven and being spiritual being ruthless anemias how do you inspire yourself Bohemia's through understanding get new information you'll have new feelings but new feelings coming from me saw an angel where you saw a miracle that's not you to some degree believing emunah is not you and that's why the game owner says you can have a person who is about to break into somebody else's house to rob him but before he does he Darwin's asking the a Brewster for success if you really believe in the a burster why are you breaking into the house because I need the money but what about des bursting yeah without him I won't succeed that's the nature of an muna it doesn't change your character and it doesn't change your behavior so by Siddim from the time of the altar table and muna of course you have to have a moment so what question is what do you understand what are you convinced of and how did that affect your personality and the result was awesome human beings to the point where my Shyam isel's was able to control his heartbeat that doesn't come from a mana it comes from an internal cultivated personality cultivated by seho be what you're supposed to be it's it's like the difference between a person who happens to have a good voice or as a person who took voice lessons [Music] the next three generations the Debora Mirage nebula shab and the field Academy they demanded something different they demanded that you not get caught or or devoted to the knowable parts of you described but to focus on the unknowable meaning to say there are Mishpatim mitzvahs that makes sense they're enjoyable there's something to discuss to debate like if you're if you're under duress if you're going to lose a lot of money under certain circumstances are you may coli you mock me it's a whole whole thing but then there is the essence of godliness the essence of mitzvahs no or yes this is this is holy or not and if it's not then there's no negotiation there's no conversation there's nothing to talk about no is no and yes is absolutely yes that's the difference between Gilliam and Edson when you get to the essence of something there's no wiggle room three generations of that message produce Hassidim who didn't know what it meant to compromise so every mitzvah they did they did with mysterious nefesh like this there's no choice no choice and we saw this visibly by the frida cannabis consider they were in labor camps and they never did labor on Shabbos how is that possible because Shabbos is Shabbos and there's no negotiation yeah but they're gonna take away your food they're gonna throw you out of the bunkie did what do you what do you like robust in' he he runs around saying my am under my baton come on don't don't don't be misleading it's not a moon that and it's not baton it's no is no what part of no don't you understand so when they first arrested him before he got to prison he was in a jail which is even more dangerous than prison so they they took away his clothes and gave him prison clothes then they said come with us to the office he said I don't walk without a telescope you're not the story amazing they said are you refusing an order he said no I'm not refusing I don't mind going to the office but I can't walk without he said bring a wheelchair you can take me so they beat him up and they dragged him the second time I brought a wheelchair he won but where does that come from emunah what what someone they have to do it but aha where's that is really yes he was absolutely certain he's gonna get out of jail right now are you gonna walk are they gonna beat you up I don't walk without a telescope where's that coming from a lot that's six generations now they'd have shree that became and send everything's got to change now the lebra mirage didn't say this is Dale had a V everything's got to change and the lebra shop didn't say there are a machine you only the leather there - ve everything changes what is the change like the difference between weak Danish Ava's six days is week day and then the Chavez Shri what is Shabbos on Shabbos you're not allowed to fix the world six days you're supposed to fix the world elevate the world on Shabbos you're not allowed so imagine it's Friday afternoon and you want to make one more preparation for Shabbos so you want to put up the hot water training and you only have ten minutes you rush to put up the china k-- what are you doing a mitzvah then the siren goes off and what you're doing becomes a Nevada in a second a second ago would be a mitzvah preparing for Shabbos a second later it's an available fuel Shabbos what was the Mitzvah of Exodus in the six days is on Shabbos not allowed for six days you fix the world which means you elevate the human condition the physical condition on Shabbos not allowed for six generations Hasid this elevated the faucet the human being the first three generations turned them into apni me the next three generations turned them into a bowel mysterious nefesh awesome human beings truly now come Shabbos you're not allowed to do anything to elevate the Hassan and make him better so in the olden days during the six days of the week my baka would come to his mash beer and say I have my shava service I have I have temptations I send what would the mush PSA okay here's what you're gonna do you're gonna have the three my Mara by heart you're going too fast today you're going to do Chula and you're going to be careful where you look and what you think and you can't do this and you can't that you and you're gonna burn this thing out of you and you're gonna become a mensch in this generation a buckler comes to the Mashpee and says I have my Chavez others how much PSS can we talk about something a little more important you go I'm Australian are you making a difference are you making a contribution yeah poor boy everybody has my Chavez out of so what it's a completely different approach like for example during the week if you want to prepare food like fish you take out the bones if you take the bones out then the fish becomes edible on Shabbos you want to eat fish you're not allowed to take out the bones so how do you eat fish you pick the meat off the bone you don't take the bones out of the meat in other words you don't fix by eliminating the bad you fix by focusing on the good this explains our generation completely what does it mean stop a guy in the street and put on film with them or he didn't watch nugget and by the way washing negev acid should become a priority on your because when you're raising children and you're handling their food or even see mothers put their finger in a baby's mouth you didn't watch negative acidy this is literally dangerous physically and spiritually you got to be really careful so he didn't watch nugget I saw what he put it on chillin with him well he did wash his hands I'm assuming right yeah but he never went to the mikveh he's he's got tattoos she asked him first if he believes in God no none of the above just put Huntsville how does this make sense a generation ago did not make sense they would not be allowed so those people and under the sacrament whoever it was who said fair this is a bazillion Mitzvah you're degrading the Trillin you're there right during the week not on Shabbos so it is a radical change whatever says going with us I know if you're aware of this but I said them said no type the believer did ever said go and see them said no they were shocked Hasid this means work on yourself more premium or mysterious necklace go tell others that's not to say this so the biggest Sydenham said no they couldn't do the change was too radical what does it mean going with us you have to have some qualifications you have to pass some tests you have to go through some training no go what are you good at nobody's asking you never need talent nobody's asking go so who should go in Schwitters you know I'll live go teach Elif so you go off to a city one-way ticket what are you gonna do there uh-huh it was so strange it was actually part of the challenge and the problem you came to the city and you didn't know what to tell the people like who you are or what you're doing there so I you're opening your show no rope burning of school no but you're raising money for what I don't know I'm here to help we really didn't know there was no definition so what do you do you go there and you'll see whatever and that's why it is so amazing this one opens a shoe this one opens a library this one opens a soup kitchen and this one hires a helicopter - let people out of the flood so what a lush Lia Estolano whatever whatever and here are people who are not qualified for anything they don't know how to spell they don't know how to add they can't write their name but but make you need a helicopter I'll get you a helicopter how do you know how to get the government is still confused about what to do and you already have a helicopter flying well I did the guy was on a helicopter in other words no limits no limit why is it no limits because it's not about me it's what the a booster wants did Abbott acronym is not my need it's his need and I'm trying to help so from a very young age we have to present this message very strongly because the schools are still little schizophrenic today if a teenager is sitting in class and there and the teacher of the mush beer that marshal Shiva says you have to become more that's it he's finished and and and the student is right I don't have to become anything Lum it up leave me out of this not not don't pay attention to me take the me out of it because it's not about me and if you try to tell me it's about me I'm gonna rebuilt it's not conscious so the message today is can you do something for the a burster yes or no the pressure is not on you the pressure is on the a bushnell he wants a did of a thought then he created the world he's wait waiting for messiah and this does two things first of all it allows the the teenager to remain sane because if you put pressure on it am I am I good enough am I better does anybody like me that that that narcissistic trap that everybody is caught in Restless avoids it I'm not in the mood to put on through okay so what are you gonna do you know but I'm not in the mood I know what birth a buffer says you know all this starve is anything but do I need this for him so you try to convince him how much he needs it wrong direction he says what do I need this for you don't you don't or he says I don't need this yeah I know I don't either so if you want to know the real bottom line danger in today's world and and and the difference between us and them is so incredibly huge when he says I don't need to put onto him he's really saying I don't need anything I don't even know why I was born I'm here for I don't need this I don't need this life I don't need life and they get a little depressed about it and a little scared and the parents of course assumed that he's depressed so you put him on medication and that's the end it's finished it's downhill from there but it is simply is really true the the at the atmosphere the the Roo of this generation is what you need to live Oh needs to live one generation ago survival was everything you had to live at all costs at all expenses you just have a nanny at the big isn't I mean my big isn't today the norm is not the prep depressed people the norm what do I need this one so there's this guy who's suing his parents for giving birth to him without his consent yeah it's the sign of the time did I ask to be born why'd you make me be born I didn't I don't want this and he's not depressed he's suing that they should pay all his bills far from depressed yeah they threw it out of court both his parents are lawyers anyway so you hear it from children I didn't ask to be born that's not that's not an unhealthy attitude it's right it's exactly right you didn't ask if you didn't ask to be born it's because you don't need to be she needed you would ask you don't need to be born so why are you here so this guy suing his parents you made me so now you have to pay parents don't make life they pass it up why why was your child born there was family in Minnesota after we had our ninth child his is she was a supporter so you know you couldn't couldn't start up with her but she was a little she says when you figure out what's causing it will you stop already why why are your children born they're asking consciously unconsciously but and the answer is not for you you were not born for you because as far as you're concerned you don't need this and you really don't that's all these people who run to Mako Bolin and then it's your soul and of desperation and oh you're here to make a tip : this is your tea confident wrong direction it's more narcissism more about you now you're now you're worried about yourself in this life and your past life and your your ego is just getting completely out of control you don't need to be born and even if you're here to make a tickin you need to make the Dignan know you don't this is Shabbos dick during the week it's a mitzvah to think what more can I do to make myself better on Shabbos you don't count it's Shabbos Shabbos Hallion wash em it's what the a burster wants is what the a Burstyn needs it's not about you anymore knock it off it saves lives it's such a relief but there are two parts to the answer the first part is you don't need your right you don't need anything you didn't need to be born on the other hand you're indispensable to somebody else that is perfect it's perfect psychologically it's perfect realistic you're only here because he needs you you're here to serve Him what about yourself who cares so you imagine one that ever said we have to fix the world who has to fix the world everybody because they burst it is waiting so somebody comes and says fix the world I have to do two before my own evaders and that was like how could you be so petty the other doing jouvert for your availa is so petty it's embarrassing there's a whole world and you're busy fixing your little availeth that's like living in a ghetto so they're never opened up godliness to what it really is a guy would to ask should I go and flip this I'm not really sincere I don't really want to help anybody else that's why you won't go cuz you're not sincere who cares about your sincerity go do it it's such a relief and it's such an antidote to this narcissism how did that make you feel well how do you feel now you must be very traumatized you don't think you are you are that's what I'm telling you the message of a generation ago is the opposite of the generation that we uh how can you dismiss yeah yeah yeah yeah that's exactly the issue it's exactly the issue we are the last generation of goals and the first generation of Google that is torture either let me stay in goes or wake me up when Google comes but to be had if it's literally it's it's soap so we can't just dismiss six generations of citizen so let's use that as a perfect example you have to fix yourself before you can fix the rest of the world that means focus on yourself no that's not what it means it means you want to fix the world start with yourself you see how the dalish sri has to the goal is to fix the world you're sitting in your Shiva what access do you have to the world okay so fix yourself as part of the world but not you come first never the world needs to get fixed you're a piece of the world so fix yourself so everything has to be seen through the lebas eyes even Tanya people have such a problem with tiny thing I'm sure we're all confused about it what does Tanya say Tania says you're not at Sadiq you have to be abandoning right right we're working on it we very quickly realized they ain't never gonna be a B&E okay so that's it the end of Tania but now think about this if you ask a hostage of the fluidity vendor or of the lebra shop what does time you say Tania says you have to be a Ben Oni you read through tanyon past panic you'd Bay's or you'd gimel the word Ben Oni is never mentioned no the first 12 protium say you're not gonna be it's a dick you don't want to be a russia via Ben Oni after that Boehner knee is not mentioned anymore how can that be there are 53 pluckin only 12 talk about a demon do you say well the rest is talking to the bay mone what is the conclusion of Tonya now you are a Ben Oni nope the conclusion of the Tonya is Zach all autumn the touchless Bureau say you Bri as coal oil and I sell uranium the Tottenham that you should be a binary leas lady rabbit Athena Raptor abandoning that was the preparation not the goal the goal is the a bridge that has to have what he created the world for and this is the topless you're not abandoning poor you nobody's gonna want to marry her the fact is that anybody today who sincerely deeply wants to be a banana and tries is going to have a nervous breakdown guaranteed they're gonna get weird because it's not the evader of this generation you imagine somebody davon in for six hours in the days of the Deborah job that would be ah that's a faucet Davin's for six hours you imagine somebody sitting under the Tallis was your husband if he sat under the talus for six hours if your husband is sitting under the palace for six hours get him some therapy seriously what's he thinking six hours what's he thinking he's cracking up that's what he's doing it's a thrill this is the Deborah's shop empowered his to be able to dive in for six hours that ever did not we are not empowered with that people say oh you don't know how long did that be davon that was in his room Hey he doesn't in 20 minutes okay the rip the real issue the real issue is that you sit in the 770 and you learn did that but I shops my mother all day long all your all the years and it's it's schizophrenic that's why many times shook him complain i sat in yeshiva all those years all those hours I learned some of the world and I learned I am Bayes and I learned and now I garnished Lukas none of that is helpful what may I do is sit and learn some love with my belly button so there's like a disconnect but what do you even give me that's useful it's confusing so what is it able to say you learned I am Bayes you know what it says that it's not about you you are somewhat rough guess what it says it's not about you you learn Tanya don't become a don't become a baby take the burden off so the first thing is that the Assessor don't make demands of him or her you're fine the way you are can you do something useful but never but what's gonna become of you what's wrong with you be a mensch that's going in the wrong direction every kid is asking why am I sitting here learning for hours but the answer that's what you do gotta go to yeshiva huh that's leftover we need to know we need to give our kids because they try I use the sneeze when they put into on Friday and the song is about thing and then the word sneeze is in there they add sneeze they changed the song one year the one about the Timah same that we used to the kids what was the song go so isn't it interesting that the never didn't make it a mister how come the rebel never made a mr. Smith so I think I think we're having a problem with sneers that is out of character and I think the reason is for most of Toyota and Mitzi's we were successful in getting across the message that you do mitzvahs because it's a way to soshim when it came to its knees we made it personal don't beat snooze cause it's a mitzvah it's nice because you're a good look at you we made it personal and it doesn't fit with the rest of you this guide so there was a rebellion like what what another thing everything in Habad everything in the Devdas world was a seedless I said this Hobbit there was a hustle from the lab rajab you who was walking up the stairs of 770 early in the 50s and he was singing a from some polish accident he didn't know the elbow was walking behind him they never caught up with him and has that ever walked past and he said about how about the Gundam am I good enough for you like why are you even singing right Habad has its own and we go according to this was you know me Williamsburg them worse than I think yeah yeah that doesn't look right I mean if they're so hot all of a sudden we're comparing ourselves to somebody else because of them there was a rebellion you gotta be consistent so it's nice isn't is is failing because we made an issue and it's not the hub bad system it's not you don't do this with any other MIT sir yeah it's it's out of control and if you take a look if you take a look at the old wedding picture there were much less sneeze and then about its life we have do and so they adapted all the based Applewood sir the only thing that's look I mean I'm not the only thing but the big thing that's muster and basically that's what the muster comes in and that's why the girls can handle it they can't be like a table so they're not used to being raised with no sir but they'll fight I know because I'm petrified we're coming from a place of fear and when we raise our kids with fear that's not strengthens fear so when I when the river was Masada condition he had two conditions the Husson had to have a beard and the kala had to wear our sheitel long sleek open neckline what it is but the neighbor didn't fight it there before shape not sure but I can tell you I can tell you children as far as children are concerned children are more damaged by seeing their mothers hair and by seeing the mothers elbows I don't know why but it's two separate things Gnaeus is covering of the body and that's me as the covering the hair is it separate I love our separate meaning it comes from somewhere completely different resource owner comes on Juliet mary has nothing to us absolutely culture that's why what you're saying makes sense covering the hair of an obviously you know more than I do I but having the hair is not is not a fierce issue it's a different subject we saying that when the rebel was focused on did she cover here she wasn't he wasn't even funny then once again but miss it was a matter of issue competitions we're shape to let all tie together in any way no to wear a shake laughter you know they actually didn't wear a shake of the Deborah was saying shape will rather than tea home and and I got a backlash no no able ever was different than everything anyway so let's go back to the from the youngest age you do a mitzvah not because you're at Sadiq o or a mitzvah boy and all these other act like the hippest is waiting so why should they be learning in yeshiva no M is waiting he needs your Mitzvah so in the Shiva they should be learning what does it mean Lots an alien what does it mean day Burstyn needs a mitzvah what's the relationship between the a burst and the Mitzvah why does he care if we do the Mitzvah but it should all be about him and there's a lot to learn and it's very inspiring of course it's when you start time and say yeah it's about me yes and maybe that's just the hook I don't know me excited about wow this is gonna explain me to myself yeah uh-huh so the first thing it tells you is not gonna be italic okay Bethany hmm tri tri halav i via Bimini but really did a batatinha so it's literally weaning you away from yourself if you feel pressure to be exotic don't you feel pressure to be a Baylin II know that's not what it's about so here is OSHA what we can do for the a Burstyn is so much greater than what improvements we can make in ourselves what's the competition what's the question if they can make a broker because they abhrush that wants they have improved what all improvement means what what is higher monday again what's a higher my less about me that's a higher my vagin so you want your child to be on a high my vagin stop feeding him arrogance the whole job is to wean them away that's called Scylla it's also called raising that's called raising you know where they are get em after two here and knowing who they're doing it for not just a routine you need to give hours of yeshiva to produce that conviction and that excitement yes so there's a children's book from and by the way do you like any of the children's books no anybody here it's all about me my name me and the last line of the book is like that's a good I got to say that you want to tell them that you didn't came out of its Italian but no they get stuck with the frogs so take a look at most of the children's books they're all they're all saying you're great you're Hashem loves you you there you you say so here's here's the this book that very very briefly a little boy didn't like going to the old-age home every Friday with the class you understand why they did that well was that necessary well he hated one time they went and as he was singing he noticed that there was an old man in a wheelchair staring at him and when they finished singing the old man smiled so he came home and he told his mother now I know why we go because I realized that I had done a great Mitzvah this is this is training a little monster there's a lonely old man and you get a new and you allowed him to smile and you're coming home because you did a big mitzvah you don't have to write a book about it if you're writing a book it's because you want to get him on the right track so if a kid comes home and says that you should you you have to straighten this kid out you did a big Mitzvah really yes you agree with me or what what should he be happy about no the opposite he should come home and say the old man smiled he was happy not only that I did a mitzvah means he doesn't count I I got a mitzvah not a point on the chart that's so heartless it so in you mean this is gonna be a monster good about yourself means I'm not worried about myself that's good that is a good self-image I'm proud of myself bad self-image too much self so a bad self-image and a high self-image same problem same thing a really healthy self-image is one that you don't have to worry about see we got to be careful with that you guys say wow that was the right thing to do that was good you should be proud of yourself that has no bearing on anyone else that's not mr. thanks no I'm not saying that the person may be permanent anytime we can avoid that's that's the mishegoss of our generation love yourself confirm yourself and rather so validate yourself yourself people and even even even sin them are saying via hostile isaiah her Camejo means you have to love yourself first then it's so disturbed well don't you have to love yourself no you don't have to it comes natural it's not a job you know these these positive message things that they hang on the wall there's one sign that said everyday do something you enjoy duh what do you think I do every day all day I don't need to be told to like myself beyond yourself every day get beyond yourself it's the happiest healthiest and holiest amazing so with your teenagers if they're if they're uncomfortable if they're rebelling if they're if they're frustrated if you understand why so am i okay not okay that's their issue that's their struggle you help them a lot by saying you're fine I like you the way you are not expecting you to become anything other let's go on this time it is such a relief when you say to a teenager yeah you are who you are what's problem such a relief because they're so self-conscious and they're so burdened by what they're supposed to be not supposed to be so if a kid comes and says I have such a hates a hunger you do welcome to the club so what I do about magnets are what you do about you later what are you gonna give him attention don't give him any attention be busy with good things that's such a relief and the more you can get away from yourself which is a full-time job because you got to keep reminding yourself that you slipping back but I don't like it but I'm bored so it's got to be not just stay busy busy busy you got to you got to know that you're doing the most incredible holiest most godly thing in the world and that should become your excitement and your pleasure and your enjoyment when I ask how are you how you could relate that to dominate kids how do they find that connection so I was talking yeah yeah yep I was talking to this young couple I was talking to this young couple he's a he's a convert that she's about children and they were very new to you describe after children six year old and a 7 year old and add them through the middle of conversation completely spontaneously the mother said oh no no my son knows that if he hits his sister can't that on that day it's so brilliant if you don't behave you don't get to them what do we do the exact opposite you hit your sister go down there's your punishment and then we wonder why they hate deafening so I'm speaking to the teachers of ole Italian and they were all saying davon Inge is it's a killer kids come in they dint a bad mood at the beginning of the day and the day you shot I said so don't davon you have to teach kids to Devon I said but you're not you're teaching them not to that stop it if the parents care let them dive in that home there before Bar Mitzvah they don't have to davon so stop turning them off nope okay so already we see the mentality is clashing with the student no they're gonna duck big no they're gonna die so it's so sense so imagine saying to your child which part of the davines you want to say to have chef that you saying to a child I mean it's just so reasonably sauce you say to a child you haven't died yet to the heavier I want to say Ashley say Ashley David say I don't they well in other words make the davon aim appealing Pleasant in fact if you sit there deafening and you really don't want to does the interested appreciate that that's for you but but for the a burster it's like these people who scream and daven in and they jump up and down excuse me you think they interested appreciate if you talk to me like that I throw you out of the house you're talking to everything you're jumping and what is that so if you really if you consider the a bursters perspective so if if a kid doesn't feel like davon aim but but he'll say Ashley he'll say krishma you don't think the average that appreciates that so again when the pressure is on the child it's burdensome when you're telling him the a broish that enjoys you small Y small Y like a little elephant by Yuka by the way do it for yourself too no pressure on you are you a good mother not really you don't forget your kids say I view you sometimes walk around feel like a good money don't do that don't be a good mother just pay attention to your kids okay will that make you a good mother okay if you have happy kids nobody's going to ask you if you're a good mother as soon as you make the pressure on I have to not in this generation hey one module insulin the Mendel foot the first came out of Russia and he was standing by a fab Lane you and son delivery was talking about I think as a she and said the answer has to be so simple that even a five-year-old would understand it because if it takes effort then it's not for this generation if it takes our voice done then it's not have Mendel's whole life that Mendel's read but there Mendel his whole life is that he's an avid he worked hard all the way and that ever says matter degeneration in that same fibroin did ever said something about bacillus nephesh they said the sailors nefesh that's for what game have mysterious natural resource mapping what is the greatness of Mendel it was serious effort so at this why bring in the rabbit wiped him out there's never time evaders man I was I kept looking at him to see how's he handling this amazing he was one of the few who were able to make a complete switch no okay so when he's sitting in a car with a bad chick and then I stopped at a red light or something and he says are bright cheeks am i man doesn't have a memory say so how's the receiver no it's okay if I so say the pursuit can the toe of something here's a huset who is bigger than life fought the whole communist system he wants to say the perception that they never taught the children because it's probably more important than my mysterious message that's an amazing he went from Friday to Shabbos he made the switch so don't ask yourself if you're a baneling the good Jew a bad Jew of because of the little faucet that's killing us it's killing us all the politics all the nastiness who's a real faucet who's I'm a Christian you know I'm a Christian I'm a cliche I thought we outgrew this so we know in the secular world if your child does something bad you never say you're a bad boy cross my charlatan what you did was bad but when he does something good so you're such a good you're at Sadiq be consistent if he does something good you should say that was good that's how you do it what do you have to say you're italic every compliment today is a burden to the child you're such a sonic oh I have to be italic you're the smartest kid I will not stop it too much pressure kids kids can't handle a microaggression how can they handle a compliment or it's just a test oh yeah talk about just heard from a bunch of Mariska girls they hate it they're not grass yes they're not going cuz they don't want to go through that [Music] no pressure though I got excited about time because wow this is gonna explain me to myself well it's really not about you that was like this because I can't do this because it's about me so then I realized well it really isn't about myself and I realized again it's about something so much greater and so much more cosmic and I love the fact that it's not just another cheque and it's not just but I did that on my own and obviously I lost that the message truck lost in translation when I was getting it over to my kids or can they do it by themselves or cuz like as you were saying and I was like right I got that when I was still first learning cuz it looks like I got that but now I didn't translate it I know I didn't how did I lose that or is it just something that maybe they have to learn by themselves maybe they have to I don't know I feel like I could I got that when I started with my house others I did get that so how did I lose that and how did we maybe it was trying to be the perfect mother and I had to be the one that was building in love who are you follow do you follow the message of the school you know going back to the history it took three generations three Debra's to make Hasid them into premium it took three generations and three levers to make said them into Bali mysterious nefesh and the rebel one created this new kind of hustle who like you know how he did it fab ingens every Shabbos unheard of so that ever poured so like three generations worth into so how does it happen not by itself I've never had to put lots and lots and lots of work into it to be Mahana of us so you have to teach it but you think for a much very sight and second the the strongest bonds that that developed between people is soldiers and battle together they're not critical of each other there's no foot I'm a better soldier than you what kind of soldier are you know they're so devoted to the to the cause and sharing that makes them the best friends in the world so it's not like if you're just doing for that what they bestow wants you're nothing on the contrary you're the healthiest you're the happiest you're the most naturally productive human being you you're you're more capable of making friends you're so so if you're see something happening yes so somebody said something about modeling if you're doing it and you have your child doing it with you that's perfect part of the generation gap in our and our times is that children never do anything with their parents parents do things with their children parents take their kids to piano lessons to karate lessons that when when do the children try to live up to the parents they don't even know what the parents do father goes off in the morning comes back at night what did he do he's a day trader I don't know what that means now I certainly can't go with him to the office so the break is total so then what happens the father comes home he goes where the kid wants to go that makes him a good father no it makes him a useless father so if we are living it and we're enjoying it and your kid is doing it with you the bonding is like two soldiers let's get this done let's bring mushiya it's really quite exciting that's La Habra

Channel: Chassidus with Rabbi Manis Friedman

Views: 18,666

Rating: 4.8079095 out of 5

Keywords: Rabbi Manis Friedman, Manis Friedman, 11213.org, 11213org, Chabad Chassidus, Chabad, Chassidus, Tanya, Kabbalah, Torah, Daily Study, Judaism, Jewish Thought, Jewish

Id: XqT2l2lzmTM

Length: 80min 57sec (4857 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 02 2019