How To Build Deeper Relationships In The Age Of Tinder

so just a little bit of a warning you're not going to agree with anything I see and that's why it's exciting I'll throw out the statement you tell me what you think love is not a good reason to marry in fact if you love somebody don't marry him it's too late because if you're marrying for love and you already love what are you getting married for then a good question so if you're hoping that the marriage will bring love okay but if you already love each other what are you hoping the marriage is going to do and if you're marrying each other because of love and then the marriage means you're going to stay together even if you don't love that's a ridiculous promise to make so what's the point of getting married I guess that's why people are not getting married so I don't know if you heard about this but studies have shown that men and women don't get along you heard about it men and women just I mean we tried like for the last 80 years we've been trying every kind of arrangement at every age and all it's not working men and women don't get along so when a couple come to me and say they're working on their relationship I don't understand what that means why are you working on a relationship it means you're trying to like each other but it's hard well then quit why are you working on it some of them even said we go for therapy so you don't need therapy you're not getting along that's normal if I had a man and a woman who do get along they need therapy because something's not right now that's why God invented marriage because marriage is that magical transformation where she becomes a wife and he becomes the husband and instead of being unable to get along now they're inseparable because a man is better off without a woman and a woman is better off without a man but a husband is not good without a wife and a wife doesn't exist without a husband so imagine what would happen if a man and a woman decide to get married but he has no intentions of becoming a husband and she has no intentions of becoming a wife you know it's not gonna work it's just a man and a woman they don't get along and it's happening way too often it's become very common to get married but not become a wife and not become a husband for the very simple reason there's no glamour in it well married women get together for an evening what is it called a girls night out why don't you call it a wives night out oh you want to have some fun if it's wives you're not gonna have any fun wives are desperate there's no fun than that and who wants to be a husband have you seen the commercials got the biggest winners in the world I think it's a plot remember that commercial for some nights coughs something the guy wakes up in the middle of the night and he can't sleep so he wakes his wife up because he doesn't know what to do so she gets up and goes to the kitchen and get somethin nyquil and he falls asleep like a baby because he has post nasal drip now who's gonna want to be a husband after that there's no clamor there's no glamour in it so what is the purpose of marriage really what do we need it for so again if you already love each other what are you getting married for and if you don't love each other what are you getting married for what is this marriage thing [Applause] imagine a man says to a woman please marry me I can't live without you should she marry him or run away you can't live without me you need help if you're serious but you're probably lying either way I don't want to marry you so there's this comedian I forget what her name was back back in the seventies I think she was very funny and she disappeared they don't know what happened to her but she had this this routine she says I don't trust men now I learned not to trust men because I had a boyfriend and he said that if I ever left him he would kill himself so I left him they never do what they promised so if he says I can't live without you he's probably lying if he really can't live without you you really shouldn't marry him so what's a man to say a man should say I can exist fine without you obviously I have I can exist perfectly without you but existing without you is not a life so why am i marrying it to bring a life to my existence so if I can't exist without you oh I'm a really disturbed guy I can exist without you but what's the point so what does marriage do it doesn't enhance your existence in fact it ruins your existence it really does because your existence means your independence your own space establish yourself know yourself have your own borders you know what marriage does to that it destroys it so if you don't have a really good reason to marry don't because you're giving up a lot and getting nothing so I think marriage vows should change a little bit because people forget the marriage vows should be I hereby take you to be the only person who can ruin my existence because that's what you're gonna do you're gonna ruin my existence but it's worth it if it gives my existence a Content a purpose a life so what exactly is the purpose of marriage marriage has to exist in your mind and in your heart independent of the person you're going to marry because if marriage is not appealing in and of itself if you're not in love with marriage then don't do it to say you know I'm not really into I'm not the marrying type but you are so incredible oh you are married not a good deal first of all you're not that incredible and you can't remain that incredible forever and it's not fair to put the entire weight on the marriage on your incredible personality or whatever so if you're not committed to marrying it doesn't matter how much you love someone don't marry and that's why as children especially girls when you were nine years old you wanted to get married just not to a boy because you hated boys but you wanted to be married so marriage has to stand on its own merit it itself has to be convincingly important and valuable enough to give up some of your existence for so you have to put marriage before the person you marry so that when two people get together they're both intent on getting married they just want to know if they can do it with each other but to say I fell in love with someone so I'm going to marry him not a good idea unfortunately in our society we worship love like every time every period every country every has its idol it's false God the false god of America is love certainly in pop psychology marriage is not going well not enough love children are acting up not enough love but I do love them well love and more we I love him more but love him even more it's the answer to everything and it's not working for the last 80 years everyone has gotten married out of love are we better off our marriage is stronger than in the times of Tevye they're not so something's not working so here first of all is a principle concerning love God is love in America which means love is God that's not good for a simple reason if I were to say to a woman I love you fear money and I want to marry you for your money because you have a lot of money what's wrong with that why is that offensive you have the money I like money it's a good oh hey what's wrong why is that wrong it's conditional so is it any better if I say I want to marry you because you're beautiful I love your looks is that a condition yeah cause if you lose your looks now I want to marry you for your personality that better getting there okay I want to marry you for love that's not a condition that is such a big conviction and listen to all the marriages that fall apart what happened no love so the first thing is when I say I want to marry you for your money it's a little offensive because it's not true I say I love you for your money I don't I just love the money I want to marry you for your money no I just want the money so when I say I want to marry you for your money listen to what I'm actually saying if there was some way that I could get the money without having to marry you that would be perfect but no you're not gonna let go right so I'm gonna have to marry you too so now imagine a man says I love everything about my wife I've actually had a guy say this I'm doing marriage counseling because they're not getting along so well and he says I love everything about my wife I said something's fishy because she wants a divorce so what's going on here he loves everything about his wife so I asked him do you love your wife yes I just told you I love everything about her I said do you love her he says what about her I said not about her do you love her he says what does that mean what does that mean see if I marry you for your money I'm really married to the money if I marry you for your looks I'm married to your looks if I marry you for your personality I'm married to your sense of humor and if I marry you for your family so now I'm married to five things just not to you so when a guy says I love everything about my wife he's left her out because he loves things about her he doesn't know why she has to come along with it isn't it funny that the two things that are destroying marriages in America is love and sex for most people that's the definition of marriage what's marriage love and sex that's what's destroying marriage because these are things that can change it's not the person love does not bond the people as the Mishnah says a love that is dependent on some thing will not last so as mean dependent on something we're getting married because we both love the same thing that doesn't bond us that keeps us separate there's this thing that we both like but it's there between us we're not connecting to each other like you love Pina Colada and walks on the rain you're gonna get married because you both love Pina Colada so you're both married to the Pina Colada but you're not married to each other so if you love the love I love you you love me let's get married no you're already married to the love and that's why if the love goes out what are you doing in my house who invited you the same is true with sex sex used to be intimate and it bonded people but since the 60s it's not it does not bond you it separates you because it's a thing that you both may enjoy but you're married to it not to each other actually you know this whole thing with there me too it's a dangerous mistake to think that the problem that's going on in America today is that men don't respect women it's probably true but it's a dangerous thing to make an issue out of it it's also dangerous to say it's power the abuse of power what are you gonna do take away the power so you're setting up a problem that you cannot solve if men still don't respect women after all women's rights and women's movements and the feminist movement and men still don't respect women that will there's only one solution we got to live separate lives don't ever work for a man don't ever hire a woman they'll never hire a man keep separate this is horrible I'll tell what's really going on it's not that men don't respect women it's that women and men have no respect for intimacy and we did it intentionally in the 60s we decided that free love is a wonderful idea but free love it means free free sex free of what free of commitment for your feeling feel free recreational and we all bought it men women Jews non-jews we all fell for it it sounded good now we're paying the price because you can't fool mother nature intimacy is not free it can't be I saw somebody wrote a book recently called if it's safe it's not sex if it's really safe it's not sex there's no such thing it's way too intense it's way too personal its way so ironically and this is really embarrassing our grandparents had a better sex life than we have come on we gotta bury our heads in shame we're not happy we're not I mean if we are the free sophisticated liberated cosmopolitan sexually liberated people why is viagra making so much money something's wrong it's not working so the things that separate people even in a marriage is love and sex somebody asked me why I wrote the book it's because I noticed something in all the years of doing marriage counseling I noticed a change I used to do marriage counseling between two people who really didn't like each other which makes perfect sense why do they argue they don't like each other why don't they like each other they don't agree on anything okay fine it's you got it you got to work out their differences more late more recently I noticed that in good marriages what we would call a really successful marriage they have no complaints to each other and yet each of them will admit that they feel alone in the world they don't know what to blame it on they can't complain everything's good but in a quiet moment they're all alone in the world and that becomes a health problem in London they started a division in the health department that deals specifically with loneliness because they found that when people feel alone their immune system crashes and they become vulnerable to every illness every disease the one thing that marriage is supposed to fix forever is that you're never alone even if you're separated by an ocean you're not alone in the world there's the other you belong with someone someone belongs with you you're not alone and that is a very powerful thing where do we know this from from the Torah it's the only place you get any sane advice you read this book called first kill all marriage counselors there's actually such a book what does it say in the Torah therefore should a man leave his mother and father cleave to his wife and become one that's it that's the whole story the only reason you need marriage is to become one with another person if you love the other person that's nice makes it fun you don't love the other person you're not alone at least you have someone to fight with so you remember Fiddler on the Roof so Tevye says to go the do you love me and she says come I remember or not he says do you love me so she seems to my song for 25 years I've washed your clothes so he's asking her about love and she's talking about laundry is this supposed to be a comedy is this supposed to show how backwards they were that Golda didn't even know what love was no no the original story was a very wise story he was immature obviously Tevye is a baby and he comes to his wife who has happens to be wiser and says do you love me she says for 25 years I gave myself to you does that include my love yeah if you have me you have my love so for 25 years I am yours all you're worried about is love and then she ends with and if that's not love than what is a poem an American greeting card what what is love if not bonding people but when love becomes your thing it separates people so let's take another look purpose of marriage is to become one now we all know that when you get married it's a reunion of two parts of the same soul it's your soulmate which is very nice two souls bond and they become one but here we're talking about bodies can two bodies become one can two personalities become one so then you hear these slogans these these the this wisdom marriage is all about compromise if that were true I wouldn't get married get him get yourself into a situation where you're gonna have to compromise it's crazy what would anybody do that no you have to compromise no thank you I can't live a compromise I can compromise for a half-hour but live my life as a compromise that's not sane and then you have people who go a step further you know marriage is a sacrifice no thanks it can't be it better not be there is no sacrifice and there's no compromise marriage is a good idea but how do two people if they're not compromising how do they become one so you have to share every opinion every taste you have to have the same political leanings otherwise you can't be one you have to have the same philosophy and child-raising otherwise you can't be one you can never disagree doesn't sound doesn't sound appealing so here's another thing the Torah tells us that is mind boggling that's so true the first human being if you remember I mean from reading the first human being was created male and female which is kind of weird God separated them and you had Adam and Chava we assumed for the longest time that that separation was a vast improvement now we're normal what does it mean to be both male and female at straining all separation is unnatural because God is one all separation is unholy holiness is oneness so when they got separated it was not an improvement and it was not natural they were created as one that's their nature so what does a man and a woman need from each other to become one again to become hold because it's not enough to be male and it's not enough to be female you have to be both by marrying and becoming one you are now one unit that is male and female how do you become one well since it is our nature to become one and the separation is artificial and unnatural all you have to do is remove all things and you will be one so it's a process of elimination if you can imagine two drops of water side by side two drops of water why are there two drops water is supposed to flow what keeps these two drops from connecting to each other what gives them their shape surface tension so what does that mean it means if you just breathe on it just touch it break the surface tension there'll be one drop the same is true between a man and a woman when they get married remove the surface tension and you go back to being one because it is perfectly natural for male and female to be one person it's an amazing statement goes against everything that we learn in psychology so how do you become one eliminate all things remember George Carlin's routine about stuff wasn't that long ago come on yeah you remember he says why do human beings need houses but you need a house for because you need a place to keep your stuff and then you put a lock on the door to protect your stuff when you go out to get more stuff then you need a bigger house and you put two locks on the door to protect all that stuff when you go out to get more stuff and eventually you reach a point where you just need to get away you need to live so you take a little knapsack backpack with the fewest amount of items of your stuff and you run away but then you come back to your stuff if we could get past our stuff if we could get past all things and connect to each other we would be married and we would never feel alone because that's what marriage does so take a look at this picture intimacy which we seem to have lost intimacy means the ability to connect to each other without anything in between just person-to-person what are you connecting over what's bringing you together nothing just you like when people say why can't you just accept me for who I am do you ever say that can't you accept me for who I am I could if I knew who um tell me who um I'll accept it you don't know I mean I accept your personality I accept your opinion I accept your intelligence I accept your looks I accept your family your mother come on what else you want then they'll just accept me what are you talking about what's me but that's what we need the most so if a man loves everything about his wife no good he loves things she needs him to love her so the first time when I got to Minnesota straight out of your shave I was about 22 and people are asking me questions that would cross a rabbi his eyes this guy says to me I'm getting divorced I'm done I don't need this so like a smart aleck you feel about her I said wait a minute you're divorcing her because you don't need this if you don't need this get rid of this why are you divorcing her when he said this he meant her this is no surprise that she feels alone in the world so what does it mean to be intimate to connect to each other not about anything having removed all things so that you're really connecting person to person like if you asked your grandmother maybe your great-grandmother what happens in the bedroom your mother the grandmother says nothing he said no come on tell me what goes on in the big room nothing you think she doesn't want to tell you but she gave you the right answer if you want to know what an intimate bedroom is it's a place where there is no thing just them it's just them who are you calling a thing man and a woman are intimate and afterwards he asks her how was it how was it who led an it into the bedroom your grandmother would be very upset a bedroom is a no-thing zone it's just a place for them and them are not things that's pornography so what has happened to sex is that it used to be intimate it stopped it used to be sex now it's just porn arson it's just a thing a thing that you can be better at less good at you can have more you can have less and every month if you follow the magazines at the supermarket every month there are 12 new secrets to better sex and you don't know any of them how does that make you feel yeah but they a funny thing some guy I don't at a weekend this staring at me and I see he wants to say something so I go over to him I say what what's on your mind he says I was just wondering do you sleep with your beard under the blanket over their beard on top he was being funny but he ruined my sleep for at least three weeks I couldn't I couldn't sleep I mean I tried it under the blanket tried it over the blanket she just become a little self-conscious about the most natural thing and all of a sudden you can't live like people say how long did it take her to grow that beard I didn't grow it it grew by neglect so I'm not conscious of it until somebody comes up with this brilliant question you want to ruin a married couples life just say to them do you know the 12 secrets to better sex a man they're just curious you're having pretty good yeah pretty good sex huh that's it you've killed him you've turned it into a thing and it's going to come between them and somebody is going to say how was it and you're finished the intimacy is gone so when did intimacy become a performance when the two people merging with each other belonging to each other when did that become a an Olympic event it's terrible it's pornography the intimacy means we can put aside all things really all things we're not that materialistic that we can not for a few minutes rise above things and just enjoy each other for nothing for nothing that's intimacy and when you experience that you are bonded you're inseparable now what are these things we have to remove everything if there's a television in the bedroom you're not gonna have intimacy it's going to distract you if there is music playing no good if the lights are on and you're gonna see you're gonna see something not intimacy can't see intimacy so in order to really have an intimate bonding husband and wife have to have a sacred bedroom a room that no thing is invited a television in the bedroom is a killer a computer a desk even Frank Shui says shouldn't have anything in the bedroom that's because it disturbs your sleep I'm talking about something more serious it disturbs the intimacy if you're a little angry you can't be intimate if you're a little tipsy you can't be intimate if you're distracted by thoughts of someone else you can't be intimate so to be intimate you have to remove all things so imagine and I say this to people who are complete we you know steeped in in the sexual culture I've said never be intimate with the lights on there should never be any sound in the room and you should never talk and they think about it for a minute and they say wow where does your mind go when you're not seeing anything hearing anything or saying anything you bond you're conscious and aware of who you're with not what you're with so there's no such thing as a bad experience you were together that's always perfect even physically there was nothing between you perfect that's let me sum this up love does not do the job sex does not do the job what needs to happen in order for us to simply be healthy never mind holy what needs to happen is this you have to have a place where you belong belong that's a much stronger word than love mine much stronger word than love parents should tell their children you're mine I hate you but you are mine instead we said no no I love you the kid just broke every window in the house and you say oh I love you kid hates you really because if you love him when he doesn't deserve the love that means you're not paying attention you've dismissed him the him is no longer significant because you've decided you're gonna love him anyway they don't like that love is never unconditional but the relationship is unconditional I'm your mother forever and right now I hate you but I'm still your mother see that's how we are with God by the way all of this comes from Judaism it comes from our relationship with God God doesn't need anything from you he's God so when God came to us at Mount Sinai he didn't say I can't live without you he said I exist fine without you like forever I'm eternal so I don't need you to help me with my existence so I don't need anything from you or anything about you but I need you because there's just me and that's not good enough so he doesn't need something from you he just needs you in his life that's what marriage is so when you have a place this is your you belong this is my home another powerful word and you're in that home with the person you belong to who also belongs to you so you're doing what you are meant to do what you are supposed to be doing the result is you actually experience heaven because imagine being in a place and there's no place else you'd rather be that is so nice and so rare and you're with someone and there's no one else you'd rather be with pretty powerful and you're doing what you are meant to do and there's nothing else you want to do so you don't want to be anywhere else you don't want to be with anyone else and you don't want to be doing anything else that's heaven when the soul goes to heaven what do you think it feels no place else I'd rather be nothing else I'd rather be doing this is my place a soul in the world of soul but if the soul comes to heaven and doesn't feel comfortable that's hell so if you walk into your home and you don't feel like you belong that's not heaven this is what we need to accomplish when we get married it's not about love and it's not about sex and it's not about taxes and it's not about helping each other grow that rarely happens anyway it's about not being just you because that's not enough no matter how perfect you are so you are not there to get you're not there to take you're either there to give or to receive that Bond's you and you're never alone again and when you walk into your home there's nothing like it that's a venue for bringing children into the world a good intimacy a true intimacy is the most welcoming invitation for a child to be brought into this world but if the mother is busy with her issues and the father is busy with his issues so that they have to check with each other afterwards and find out how was it if there should be a child the child will feel like an intruder it's like hey excuse me can I can I come in you seem to be so busy with yourselves so that's a very different picture than the conventional wisdom so here's my suggestion you want to get married before you go out with anyone put the date on your calendar I want to be married by June June 15th perfect next person you meet before you say anything else take out your calendar I am scheduled for June 15 if he says of which year go home you've got nothing more to say then marriage has to be its own objective I want to be married not necessarily to you but I want to be married I'm getting married so women often say oh no no you can't do that no they'll run away exactly you never give three years of your life to a guy who decides after three years that he has no intentions of marrying never do that we end up being more married when we're dating than when we get married you're committed and you're worried then you're and you're and you're sharing and you're giving of yourself and then he says no don't do that course it works both ways so if you're scheduled for June 15th and he has no intentions of being married by June 15th then you have nothing more to discuss even if he's the nicest guy in the world on the other hand imagine you sit down by your first date and you say I'm scheduled for June 15th and she says hmm takes out her calendar and says 18th I'm scheduled for June 18th compromise work it out but wouldn't that be amazing a match made in heaven so really put marriage before the person you aren't going to marry otherwise don't marry anybody marriage is the most amazing the holiest thing that human beings can do because when you're being intimate past all things just you and the other you are more innocent than before because that is your most innocent place the place where things don't go so marriage is is its own objective its own goal in its own value it would be nice to marry someone who doesn't bug you so why do you check them out why do you check her out what are you looking at all these things does she have this unless you have that and where's our money you're checking those things out not because you want to marry them you're checking it out to make sure that it won't interfere with your connecting to the person because the things about the person are fine you're not marrying those things that's what our grandparents had you know we always say oh they were married in the olden days they never got divorced they were married and everybody said oh yeah sure it wasn't miserable they didn't have access to divorce but they were miserable both things are true they were really married because they married each other they had each other like Golda says for 25 years you have me never divorce me now the things about you we need to talk I don't like how you do things why do you have to be like that so they bickered and they argued and they criticized each other and by today's standards we would say you know you guys fight so much why don't you just separate they would say are you crazy lose each other fight about things but we have each other and today we try to do the exact opposite I want to make sure that I love everything about you and you have to come along with that stuff so I'll put up with you but I just want the things the goodies we need to get married married not hooked up enough funny how we describe dating we're so afraid of intimacy what do you call it when a man and a woman are getting close or dating what kind of word is that what does that describe you're doing what we're dating you date a dead body you don't date a living person so you call it going out you going with anybody okay Co Inc what a silly word that is no I'm not going I went there ready where are you going that's what the going are you hooked up that is so vulgar were you towing somebody and then the winner are you seeing anybody hey this guy's says to me I'm seeing this really special woman I said that's great can I see her no what why do we use these ridiculous words why don't you just say I'm getting very emotionally involved I'm gonna say that we're getting emotionally enmeshed well you don't want to say that because tomorrow it might be over and then you'll have to be brokenhearted so to keep it clean to keep it painless no we were just seeing each other have you seen her lately no no haven't seen it there's no drama there's no broken heart we were going we're not going it's so it's so meaningless sterile it's not nice we're doing this to ourselves and it's just not nice so get out your calendar June 15 imagine if we all got married on juice it be a great day of the Jewish calendar so what do you think about any of this I just had a conversation with a group of teenagers let me tell you how bad things are I try to explain to them that love is not the be-all and end-all of everything and that actually love is not important it's not important if someone is important you should love that's where love comes in love doesn't make importance what is important you should love and I gave them a little example I said if you have a brother you hate and a dog that you love and you can only save one of them who are you gonna save they said the dog if someone is important and you don't love them they're still important and if someone is not important but you love them very very much they're still not important I mean if you got to be really arrogant to think your love makes them important when you stop loving them they lose all importance what is that that is nasty so love is the spice it's not the steak it can't carry the burden of a relationship now if you have a place where you belong and a person you belong to so that you're doing exactly what you're meant to do tell me why you won't love that of course you're going to love it and if you don't you'll fix it because you want that place you want that identity you want to belong is that not true I think it is have any questions or comments or jokes anything you know [Music] you want to hear something really profound when somebody says profound it means you're not gonna understand it if you can't marry anybody then you can't marry anybody try that again if you can't marry anybody then you can't marry anybody if you can't have another person in your life then you can't have any person in your life so theoretically you should be able to marry anybody but why ask for trouble so what you do is you find a person well for whatever reason makes you wish that he or she is the other part of your soul because you will marry only the other part of your soul it's been pre-arranged before you were conceived God decided who you're gonna marry and that's it it's done so a woman says I want my husband to be tall and dark sorry he's short and bald too late he's already been chosen and that's who you're going to marry so stop trying to design him like a mr. Potato Head he is who he is he just hasn't found you yet instead you should be thinking what kind of a life do I want to create with the person I will be marrying so how do you know who your soulmate is but you don't well you need to know is you met someone who you hope is your soulmate so you marry if you actually get married that's your soulmate without a doubt if it's not your soulmate it's not going to happen so don't worry about marrying the right person or the wrong person you can only marry your husband or your wife this woman said I've been looking for to get married I've been trying for nine years where are all the men I said that's disgusting none of your business where all the men are you're not gonna marry all the men she said you know what I mean I'm a man what you've never met a man she's I mean someone special you've never met anyone special of course you have they're married but you met them she says I mean the one for me you see in three minutes we went from all the men to the one for me it's how easy it is and do it in three minutes what does it mean the one for me there's another way of saying that my husband which means you're not marrying a man men and women don't get along don't go there you're not marrying a woman you're marrying your wife find her you can't marry her she's not your wife it's not gonna happen so do you know who your wife is no until you marry her all you need to know is I really hope this is her because I want to marry her if it happens she's the one if it doesn't happen she was never the one no heartbreaks yeah [Music] it's the only way it ever happens nobody forces you into a marriage but here's one other thing I want to tell you the way you decide you're gonna marry someone after you check out all the things and it shouldn't take more than a month once you've checked out all the things now you need good chemistry what is good chemistry good chemistry means not how you feel about him because if he's good-looking nice guy with a couple of dollars everybody's gonna have good chemistry with him it doesn't prove anything right good chemistry means how he makes you feel about yourself you're sitting with a guy and you find yourself totally comfortable being a woman you're not self-conscious you're not trying to prove anything you're not it's not a contest you really feel good in yourself he's doing that that's good chemistry and he is sitting there and he says wow I feel great being a man you did that that's good chemistry when the male and the female energies work for each other that is really good chemistry so if you find somebody you like the things about him and you feel like a woman with him and he feels like a man with you that's really good but today we got a problem what is a man who's a woman we don't know anymore I was speaking at an event it was there was a reformed rabbi a conservative rabbi and we were talking about continuity Jewish continuity and they were saying you got to change this I got to change that okay whoa whoa whoa we're talking about continuity continuity means do something your grandfather did that his grandfather did and his grandfather did then its continuity well the reformed rabbi got really upset he said why did you say grandfather why didn't you say grandmother he was an old guy he's still into women's lib so I said you are so behind the time my grandfather was a woman how dare you assume so we are so confused we don't even know but you can't fool mother nature if you feel comfortable being a woman in the presence of this guy that's good chemistry grab him June 15

Channel: Chassidus with Rabbi Manis Friedman

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Keywords: Rabbi Manis Friedman, Manis Friedman, 11213.org, 11213org, Chabad Chassidus, Chabad, Chassidus, Tanya, Kabbalah, Torah, Daily Study, Judaism, Jewish Thought, Jewish, Marriage, Dating

Id: JM-W4jR3ers

Length: 69min 9sec (4149 seconds)

Published: Tue Nov 13 2018