Rabbi, How Do I Find The Ultimate Truth?

and while I'm an artist and I by way of my art I have always had an interest in religion religions because through my art I have been on this search for ultimate truths so I figured you know let's see perhaps science might have something to say about that but that only goes so far perhaps it also if you have something to say about that but that only goes so far and then particularly the mystical strands of religions religions in general because I'm I'm just curious came to the right place at any rate come the community you're visiting is a Hasidic community some would call it Orthodox but that would not be a good description and it originates in Russia Lubavitch which means village of love or city of love and it's about two hundred and fifty years old this approach to Judaism and the main focus is ultimate truth because everything in Judaism is true but it only goes so far so we want to take it to the ultimate truth so I'll give you the punchline and then we'll back up a little bit in the beginning God created heaven and earth in the beginning means before there was us he created the world before there was us which basically tells you that he is after something so the ultimate truth is that the creator needs his creation the creation does not need him because if we weren't created we'd all be fine so the the trick of getting to the ultimate truth is to get past the apparent truth the apparent truth is I exist I have needs who's gonna help me so we turn to God give me help me save me protect me and that distorts the whole picture so of course it's true we depend on him once we're created but we didn't even need to be created he needs to create us so the ultimate truth in one simple sentence is he needs us more than we need him and the problem with religion is that it has devolved into self-serving spiritual quest we're looking for some spiritual benefit for some spiritual gain whether it's in heaven or here and and that distorts the whole picture so what does it feel like if we're aware that he needs us more than we need him firstly psychologically it is so liberating I'm not the needy one because I didn't ask to be created of course now that I'm here I'm dependent on food and sleep and but I don't need any of it it's not about me so I say my need it's not exactly my need because if it was up to me I wouldn't eat and I wouldn't sleep I wouldn't be handicapped by these things if it was up to me obviously it's not up to me so God designed us with a need to eat and with a need to sleep it's not my idea so even saying I need to eat it's not exactly true actually I need to stop eating it but if the liberating effect is that you're a much happier person so Sid them have a reputation of being happy always singing dancing rose it's a bit of an exaggeration with the singing and the dancing but but there is it there is some truth to that and the joy comes from firstly from this feeling that I'm not so burdened it's not all about me and this is where philosophy falls short I think because it's all about me this is where science falls short it starts after the fact of creation here's a world let's study it but why is there a world why was anything created and have our needs know where the creation so who needed the world into creation so on the surface we say God spoke the world into creation God said Let there be yeah but why did he say so he willed it into existence so the next logical question is what does he need that's it that's really herself so what is the torah' God telling us what he needs he's got to tell us something so when we're told that God came down to Mount Sinai 3,000 years ago to occupy I don't care where it was so it was not Sinai but it had to happen because if he needs well then he's got to tell us what he needs the second thing is he needs me is that not a reason to be happy because it turns out that human beings would much rather be needed than loved we would much rather be needed than have our needs met we're in different words I'd much rather be needed than be needy and that really is the choice in life the choice is not between good and bad since when is bad one of the choices right the choice is do you want to focus on your needs or do you want to focus on what you're needed for and I think this is the future of psychology you got to stop focusing on I need I'm so desperate I'm so that's not helping it only makes us more miserable psychology says if you could find the deep repressed need you have you'll be healthy well we haven't found it yet because whenever we find there's there's something more now there's something else now that something else is bothering you it's an endless if we could know what we are needed for we have a we have a clear and doable picture of life we know what we're here for that's an amazing blessing in the reverse I had this really interesting experience a father in Israel calls me I don't know him he doesn't know me he's got a problem his twelve-year-old daughter got it into her head that God was angry at her and she's old depressed and he puts around the phone just talk to her so I said God is angry at you she says yeah I said I'm so jealous you could do something to get God angry when did you become so important 12 years old and you can anger the creator of the world what did you do problem is over we got it backwards we think look I'm here I'm alive I need to live I need food I need money I need this I need that and then if God is angry at me it's bad because it's all about me by saying to her don't you get the compliment God could be angry at you like what how did you become so significant so whether he loves you or hate you either way what a compliment but the main thing is not to love and not to hate the main thing is he needs you well first of all but do we really need to know why or is the question itself delicious it's like like a woman who says my husband loves me I don't know why which is beautiful but the real answer to that question is for no reason he just needs us in other words we're not a means to an end he's not using us to gain something because he can't gain anything he God God created the world so that we would exist with him why so that we would exist with him yeah but why I just told you he's not using us as a means to an end which is really what a marriage should be you don't marry somebody for something you marry someone for them so for example you get married I just need you I don't need your money I don't need your services I just need you to be in my life if I just need you and you're not there do I need you any less no maybe more because I miss you if all I need is to have you and I don't need you to do anything for me and you're not there does that make me imperfect or needy no cuz what am I missing this is really important what am I missing you're missing so it's not what it's who so you say God is perfect why would he need us he's perfect means he needs no thing but he needs someone why you're going back to something he doesn't need you for something he needs you for you but of course he doesn't want you fighting him so he gives us all these insights into who he is like 613 things that he embodies so for example a family is observing their Shabbos and they're sitting at the Shabbos table and one of the kids refuses to come to the table the parents the family needs that child but he's not available to them because he won't he won't join he won't so if we don't do the Mitzvah God needs us but he doesn't have us because we're not on the same page with him so when God asks us to observe the Sabbath it's because he does but he rests on the seventh day if we don't then then he doesn't have us does he still want us maybe even more and that's why according to Judaism if you sin you are not doomed you're just annoying because he still needs you so if you're not doing it so do it next week two weeks that makes get around to it because he needs you so it's a much more elegant picture of the human condition the much better picture then a human condition is always on the threshold between right and wrong between good and bad between moral and immoral and he has to keep making those choices that's a pretty depressing picture our choices are not right and wrong our choices are with him or not with him and if you're not with him so get with him you didn't do it yesterday do it today his break everybody agrees Christians Muslims Buddhists Hindus in other words there's no there's no argument there's no there's no other claim to God's will is there no religion claims to know what God wants other than the Bible Christianity says we already fulfilled it his need the fact that there is a creator who created the world that's not going far enough the real secret is his motivation you're wondering why we call it why we call God ahem in Hebrew - it's a very simple thing now some people say see men wrote the Bible and that's why God is a he actually if men wrote the Bible God would be a she men don't worship men but besides that it's a relationship in every relationship there's a male and a female there were some movements religions that worshipped a female God they were so violent that they destroyed themselves so in the relationship the choice is do we want to be the heat and God is the sheet or do we want God to be the heat and will be the sheet it's much better that we be the female certainly God doesn't have a body and yet we're attributing masculine characteristics but that's only in the context of the relationship objectively he's neither male nor female or he's both male and female or neither X non-binary but if we're going to have a relationship we have to take on a persona yes you have to be a somebody so there's the option either he'll be the she and will be the he which is not a good idea what are we here to protect him so you could imagine what that happened what that does to people who think that way you gotta kill all God's enemies it becomes very violent instead we let God be the heat there was actually a debate forced debate in the Middle Ages between a famous rabbi and a Catholic Church and it was there in times of the Inquisition and the priest asked why is it that your God is so violent always punishing and the rabbi said because we'd rather leave it to him your God doesn't do the punishing so you do it you become the violent one better to leave it to God so if that's the male-female there are occasions in the Bible where God is referred to as she whereas the mother FINA someone so there is a feminine just like there's a masculine side to us but in our relationship with God we want to take the feminine role so it's not that we want him to be a heat it's more that we want to be the sheep passive and peace you know in other words this kind of stereotypical feminine cat characteristics well there's one one essential feminine characteristic and that is nurturing instead of aggressive trying to get something that isn't there to nurture what is there and that's the whole idea whatever God gives you use it productively minds that that's a nurturing quality instead of trying to grab some piece of heaven by force he talked about us being partners in the act of creation is that a face no but a partner means either the male or the female not the same thing two males or two females so if we are partners with God in creation it's because we're playing the other role otherwise we're not partners were competing what could be competing it's not really the why it's more than what what does God want from us he wants us to be his partner but why why makes it sound like we're a means to an end and we're not you have discussed you know the the principles I guess my question is do the same principles apply to the Orthodox Jews conservatives other forms of Judaism or business apply specifically to the bondage okay we think it applies to everybody they just don't know it yet they see this explains the community I'm not I'm not I'm not giving you just philosophy the community the whole thing everyone here is raised with the idea that we are here to serve we are needed not needy and that's why we have a very open community you welcome people we welcome guests come and listen come and look check it out because if you really exist to serve to be needed then you serve God you serve your community you serve your family you serve your in that serving mode because it's not about me it's about being needed so if you need something that big that makes our day so there are other Hasidic communities more from Poland and Hungary and Romania they're not so open they're not so welcoming they're a little more insular they're trying to protect what they have and only recently have they started to open up but that that really that's the key the key is we are here to serve full time so I'm unburdened by the fact that I'm not here for myself this is not about me what can I do for you it's a completely different mindset so that's why wherever you're gonna go you can actually walk in to any shul and he's any synagogue with him about 50 of them here you can walk into any one of them you could walk into the matzo bakery into the into the scribe and everything's open which is not usual usually just walk down the street and they say this building and that building in front but here you go in you you're welcome it's just basically obviously there's that's a very that's a very good point part of the thinking and part of the activism is that the debe which taught us and trained us in this thinking encouraged people to leave Crown Heights don't stay here go where you're needed and so there there is a Habad house or Habad Center in every state of the Union and in most places more than one so there's the Habad of Denver there's how many how many how about houses on the island got to be every six or seven oh are we 30 but that's cheating it's right next door there the young couples will go off to Siberia that's yeah by the Congo aha God is not a synagogue that is it it's more a like a a family that kind of bit has its way in front of the house and welcomes people or that's how it starts and then it develops and if they need a preschool they make the preschool or kindergarten they make a kindergarten if they need a shoulder blade to show whatever the community needs they're there to serve and God forbid if a disaster happens they're the first responders because if there's a need love to be needed distinctions you can speak on between the community community in your friend from Williamsburg is not here today for some reason they're actually opening up in Williamsburg if you're not yeah they've been very insular for a long time and it's not healthy so they realize it there and there they're opening up a little but again the difference is whether you're trying to be religious which means it's about me how religious can I be how perfectly religious mi and so on versus what can I do for others beginning with God so Judaism is not about me Judaism is God's need not mine either so when somebody says you know I discovered a form of Judaism that works for me that's not good news Judaism doesn't work for you you work for it you're this you're the one who does the serving not the other way around and that's why going to heaven is really not interesting heaven is not a better place that's a very Christian idea you don't want to go to heaven you don't belong in heaven of course if you can't be here you go there okay but nobody wants to go there that's not a goal it's not an objective because there God takes care of you here you can do something for him so here is better there's no better place why they were slow I think two reasons one is practical pragmatic it doesn't work to be insular it doesn't work in today's world you cannot be insulated you can you know so they were hoping their children will never hear about drugs and they'll never hear but they hear about it something you can't do that it's not a good method it doesn't work and secondly seeing the success of the Habad houses all over the world because they traveled they see and when they come to Denver where they gonna go for a kosher meal right so they say wait a minute this this looks appealing why don't we do that so they're opening up a little bit it was opening up me I mean does it mean like we're doing here in a way us from outside and possibly be moved to the point either conversion of the one hand if you don't happen to be Jewish or coming into the fold if you happen to be Jewish from another you know branch of Judaism is that is that what opening no is is that part of the practicality of opening up and it's that part of the movement of opening up in other words let them see us or is opening up also an allowance for acceptance a little bit of that too because it's inevitable you gain something by but I think you know the expression this is my god the my in that sentence is not possessive my God my God but my children doesn't mean you own them it's the God I'm relating with so the essence of opening up means this is not mine the opportunity to serve God is not just mine is guided not by you well the opening means share what you have not go looking in fact when Habad opened up the rest of the orthodox community said this is ridiculous you're gonna lose all your students and all your because they're gonna they're gonna find other ideas and they're gonna drop out and it has hardly happened cuz the world really needs this message not what's good for me Oh for that I mean there are all sorts of ideas every salesman knows what's good for me and will sell me his product and his ideas and but but we're not looking for what's good for me we're looking for how we can serve God's purpose cuz he needs the world I don't need it so the more we get into that the deeper we appreciate them which is what happens when you open up it becomes so much more real so much deeper when you see people reacting and responding as in wow this is really in which it has worked the other way around in other words you have to give a grounding in the most significant thing is the ability to think global we're coming out of a steadily wasn't that long ago we're coming out of ghettos how did we learn to think global so quickly one or two generations and that's it that's what we gain first of all by coming to America because Americans are global and and it it took us out of the ghetto and that's a big game so speaking about that it just seems I may be wrong but it seems because members of the community have large very large families and most of them don't work out don't appear to work outside the community my question is how does the community support itself financially how does that work I'm not sure what what the situation is in other communities but my my guess is that everybody works outside the community yeah because I mean they're only so many jobs you can't how many teachers do you need what kind of job whatever talents whatever interests as there's no there's no restrictions try to stay out of politics try to stay out of politics do you have do you have you know I aren't most kids homeschooled or go to special schools special schools everybody goes to religious schools so if I were to graduate from your high school where would I go to university if I wanted to be a doctor wherever you want okay so they're equally accredited by the stage sure it has to be so you have to have certain this Colorado have a school like that no okay so if I lived in Colorado wanna change children then I wanted them to go to college what would I do well first you would send them to you Shiva yes wherever the you Shiva's are and then from there they would go to whatever profession there we encouraged by the way and I think this is a good idea for everybody don't go for liberal arts decide what you want to be and and specialize order but just to get an education it can be very meaningless high school yeah no so I would have to move to another state where there one who sends our kids we send our kids with yeah oh so I live in Minnesota all my kids grew up in Minnesota and when they came of age we sent them to California from New York Israel so you send them to boarding school so they can graduate from a school from where they can go on and that's good we have a big family send them out so I prefer to think of it just clears my mind of any kind of anthropomorphic being this way I find when I prayed genderized distracted I can understand that the opposite extreme is also disturbing when men don't know what it means to be a man and a woman doesn't know what it means to be a woman and we're all confused about our gender that's pretty painful so obviously we shouldn't take it to an extreme either way so thinking of it in terms of forces well that's what male and female is male force we know yin and yang yeah so sometimes when you're praying I love that in my experience sometimes when you're praying you automatically find yourself thinking of God as the male not not physically but you want to receive him you want to nurture the godliness within you and sometimes you're a little demanding and complaining about what he does or doesn't do so sometimes you take on the different powers too sometimes you come to him as a female sometimes you come to him as a male and then you addressing a female but so if its food but fluid doesn't mean nothingness you can be fluid between male and female but but there's got to be male and female X doesn't mean anything so better to have a definition than to not have one so the more definite things are the better and look what's happening to our society we're we're we're not becoming United we're both we're becoming nothing the forms by which within which we used to live and as it happens in nature we are in transit to the next means that that the form that has broken down was bad or does it mean that it just worked it's you know it's natural something else we're not there yet so you know everybody's throwing on the table possibilities could be this way could be that way could be my religion could be yours you know could be his purse or it could be this that are the only political system of these that or the other you know economic you know band-aid it's just that we are in some manner of transition question is transition to what in the course of and within the context of a presumed purpose for our being that's very good let's go back to what you started with the pursuit of ultimate truth if you're gonna find ultimate truth you can't go hopping around if you think you have a truth dig as deep as you can until you know that it is or it isn't but the pursuit is to get to the truth we're not giving up on that it's not like okay there's no truth we don't know we'll never get there so what what I think is going to happen is in in terms of male and female our definition of what male and female was is no longer valid men are not hunters and women are not gatherers so if that was your definition it's gone so now you have to figure out so what really is male and what really is female dig a little deeper so that's not the see what that proves is that career wise talent wise the ability to make money to run a company to be a politician it turns out that those things are neither male nor female so they don't serve as a definition for anything so you're not more female if you make money you're not more male if you make money and that's not really I think that's more of a natural condition and the capacity to unfold that into existence I think that this may be a little shocking but the pursuit of happiness is ungodly it's too it's too subjective it's too too much me we have to have something more noble or than happiness right so the question so here's the third gender all right we want to find a third gender the third gender is non gender it's neither male nor female which is fantastic but if you are male is that not significant is there no truth to that and if you are female is there no truth to that so we pursue the non gender as far as it can go all possibilities but not at the expense of the truth of the gender that we are the soul is either male or female no that's why if you have a male soul in a female body there's a serious disturbance there's a there's a there's a terrible friction there so when we say male/female we don't mean just the body a male soul gets a male body a female soul gets a female body so the body is the byproduct so get in the in the pursuit of truth we have to find the truth in everything as it is not by denying what it is so for example following that philosophy eventually we'll stop being Jews will just become human or something more than human whatever but the the designation of Jew will disappear just like male-female disappears we're going to end up with nothing so if there is truth to the world there is truth to the universal eternal principles of the world and to deny it might lead to total meaninglessness I don't think what I'm trying to say is in the direction that you're saying that we're down situation her I think it's more along the lines of a kind in fact the distinction yes so if your mail and your mail so I would say I would say the same thing a different if that's comfortable yeah so what we're really basically saying the same thing from a bird's eye view truth is everywhere there is truth to your being mail there's truth to your being female and there's truth to your being capable of both in roles in functions yes it's all true I think we've neglected you know we we think we've been too particular we haven't we've neglected the truth of being male and the truth of being female we've all been focused on what both could do we've given a chance which is neither male nor female so can a woman be a president she can be a president where they have to do with being a woman and why are men president that has nothing to do with you're not more of a man if you're a president which we have discovered painfully doesn't make you more of a man it just makes you the president so if you're a woman president so Europe so you're a president we're not really appreciating we don't even have a definition anymore what really is a real man and what is a real woman we don't know but is it a label or is it uh is it a truth now you're not really female in the 60s people were saying biology is not best in someone has the seed someone has the egg you know and someone is a nurturer sometimes a provider right and so you're kind of locked in to your biology which I guess there's some truth in that yes and it is your destiny no but a woman is a woman God's commandment for the man but even if you don't have children you're not less of a woman not less of a man so you see that's why we're not we're not really getting to the core of what this means so it becomes a burden language language doesn't work because it brings up so many other things from other people who listen to this stuff and they go what's he talking about you know I mean it's you know it doesn't make any sense to a lot of people who don't have the same kind of perspective you get the loss yes so so that I find that using something like give a force makes more sense to me in the sense that it works without creating extra value judgments and I think that's the key for me on top of what what you're trying to say okay so value judgments are totally inappropriate so if I if I say I'm a Jew does that make people uncomfortable why can't you just be a human being so in the future will Jews disappear we are going to do everything possible that that not happen and I think men and women at the same we've got to get to the to the true benefit and value of being male not a judgement call just like yeah so you think Jews are better than everybody else it's not a value issue I am Jewish I like being here if I want to be more I want to be more of a man I should be so yeah the point of it is this in every subject and this is what the ultimate truth about God you can say you know God has been a problem all let's talk about God all it's brought is war and and and and separation and that's because we don't really know what God is not because God is a prophet so if you go deeper what's going to happen is God will become more Universal not less if you go deeper the truth becomes more valid more relevant more real not less if it starts to become less go look somewhere else then there's not that's not the truth so the truth will never fade as you get closer to it it'll only become better and stronger and that's in everything so that's why being being into that ultimate truth about God needing well that everything is now included if we folk God needs his world but why does he need oceans why does he need clean air all of a sudden everything becomes relevant because everything is his creation now eating takes on a whole new meaning God created me to eat Holly he wants me to eat kosher kosher he wants me to not eat on Yom Kippur ok Kippur I don't eat it's his project eating is not my project it's his so all of a sudden everything becomes infused with a divine purpose there are no mistakes in nature and creation so we have a whole new respect for the universe we have a whole new respect for human beings have a whole new respect for God he's not some angry guy sitting in heaven throwing lightning bolt smiting people to serve if you're Jewish right that's the Jewish way yes not the only way do the other do the 1613 Commandments applied to the other forms of Judaism sure it applies to Jews not too many people can keep 613 commandments you know it's not hard to remember them but you try since you're here to serve you keep trying it's not a contest and you're not trying to attain some title or some levels you're trying to be of service it's a much lighter way of thinking and that's why the word Orthodox is a little too heavy in fact reform is also too heavy don't be reformed don't be Orthodox and don't be conservative try don't be really don't don't don't give yourself a title no labels and that's why if yesterday you didn't do a mitzvah so do today another on reform oh it's an opportunity to serve God daily if you have the opportunity do it what will that make you nothing you'll still be Jewish so it really is liberating and now you'll go up and down the street and you'll see it in action actually actually being blue that wasn't really oh yeah

Channel: Chassidus with Rabbi Manis Friedman

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Keywords: Rabbi Manis Friedman, Manis Friedman, 11213.org, 11213org, Chabad Chassidus, Chabad, Chassidus, Tanya, Kabbalah, Torah, Daily Study, Judaism, Jewish Thought, Jewish

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Length: 61min 18sec (3678 seconds)

Published: Tue Oct 30 2018