IELTS Live - Task 2 Writing - Band 9 Structure and Flow

today's alive IELTS class my name is Adrian and I'm streaming to you live from beautiful Hungary here in Central Europe I hope everybody is having a great start to their weekend in this class we are looking at IELTS task 2 writing a little bit of a trickier question now this class is a members chat class of course everybody has welcome to watch hi X done I see one of our members is already in the class and in 90 minutes we will have an all chat class for everybody that will focus on reading while we wait for some more of our members to join into this class this lesson is brought to you by AE help calm for academic IELTS check us out there and join our premium packages and for general IELTS check us out at GI IELTS help calm that's general IELTS help calm on both of those websites we have many many hours of HD video lessons for all the sections of the exam with strategies and tips as well as original practice exams computer-based and paper based formats an application for your phone and lots lots more so definitely check us out there hi shorty hi for dogs hi Rajamani come i see more members joining in that's great a quick peek at our websites a help calm blue background click that big red button to join the Premium Package there get your my student account for the general G IELTS help.com same layout green background click that red button to join that there as you can see we're also British Council IELTS registration center partners so students from Saudi Arabia can even register for their exams through us and if you have questions about our products or the exam send me an email Adrian ADR I am a help calm hi Rajveer you can order our books from Amazon our exam books for the academic version search for a helps academic IELTS on Amazon and for general search for GE helps general IELTS there so tomorrow students we will have classes so members today we're going to start our task 2 right now and then tomorrow we will finish that and for everybody tomorrow we will have a speaking part 3 class as well so that extra day tomorrow of classes is just to make up for some of the days last week when I was away so tomorrow we have classes usually Sundays there's no classes but this week there will be alright so a couple different students submitted some questions about tasks to one student sent this task to questioners very similar task to question let's read this carefully so IELTS task 2 writing you should spend about 40 minutes on this task people these days work hard to buy more this has made life more entertaining and comfortable in many ways but it also demands a lot of time and energy so this was kind of the main idea of the question that one of our students sent us and asked if we can do a class focusing on this task 2 question and then another student said well I have difficulty with questions where they asked do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages or vice-versa do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages so what I did is I kind of took the question type and the question topic and I combined the two into this one question for us today hi Karolina nice to see you in class so again let's read it together one more time and we will paraphrase it to make sure it's clear and we understand what's going on so you should spend about 40 minutes on this task people these days work hard to buy more this has made life more entertaining and comfortable in many ways but it also demands a lot of time and energy discuss whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of this trend you should write at least 250 words okay so step number one let's paraphrase this question using our own words so that we can focus our ideas and gather some useful vocabulary that we may use in the essay so go ahead members I do that Karolina how was your exam scores did you do okay so I'm going to paraphrase while you do the same all right so there's my paraphrase give you a couple more seconds hi Preeti as so here we go individuals instead of people these days one very good way to paraphrase these days is nowadays notice how this is one word in English now days three words pushed together nowadays so individuals nowadays put in much time to earn money so they can consume more people these days work hard to buy more so this short sentence and this sentence have the exact same meaning and I'm also thinking of consumerism Karolina that's fantastic seven point five six six and six point five so you have an average of six point five right band that's fantastic good for you Karolina I think you did a really good job are you happy with that score Karolina or do you need more all right meanwhile I see fir Dobbs has the paraphrase up for dog says today individuals work more than ever before to purchase more yeah four doves that works purchasing power or purchased more is the same as buy more or consume more usually when we're consuming we're buying so Karolina you need more all right keep working Karolina because I know you can get it okay I know you can you're very very clever and I'm sure you can get more all right Rajveer Singh says nowadays individuals do strict labor to purchase more items this phenomenon has transformed their lives with added enjoyment and convenience in many ways yeah reg fear I would put the word added enjoyment so greater enjoyment as opposed to before however it requires a considerable time and energy reg fear the word you're looking for is consider all time considerable time not numerous time we don't say numerous time we say considerable time k means a significant amount of time these are the correct expressions Rajveer okay alright and then Rajveer you did a very good job to paraphrase the end of the question as well so discuss if the benefits outweigh the deficits good good all right nicely done okay so here is my full paraphrase one more time individuals nowadays put in much time to earn money so they can consume more as a result life has become fun and convenient however this also requires more time and effort explain whether the benefits of this trend are more than the negatives so that's my full paraphrase okay in this question what is the topic help me identify the topic so the topic of course is what are we discussing specifically so what are we discussing in this essay another way to ask it is what is the subject of this essay can anybody tell me them and it's not absolutely clear from the question so you have to be clever and it's very important students that you identify the topic of the essay so what are we actually talking about Rajveer says it's hard labor to earn more that's the the subject that's what we're discussing here ok Karolina says it's about people working hard yeah ok let's see what other opinions come come up for daug says working more is good or bad Preeti says hard work to earn more all right yeah okay always go back to the original question when you're identifying the topic to focus on so people these days work hard to buy more this has made life more entertaining and comfortable in many ways so definitely this sentence introduces the subject and you're absolutely right hard work for consumption is the topic okay so the topic here is more effort for money okay that's how I would identify it so more effort for money we're putting in more effort for more money okay that's the topic all right so now we need to ask what why how in this case it's very important so what does it mean to give more effort for more money can you tell me that in your own words what that means and then of course we'll go on to the why and the how okay so what does it actually mean to give more effort to make more money again explain it in your own words I'll do the same sure okay so yeah Ford of says something very similar to what I just wrote for Dobbs says it's working more than eight hours a day okay Rajveer says people work more hours per day to earn more money very good okay nice definition Shruti says more sacrifices for the sake of enjoyment I think Shruti you're off topic there so careful next on says work longer time spending time and energy okay all right so the the what here is increased amount of time spent at the office or job such as 10 hours instead of 8 to increase the total monthly or yearly salary absolutely why do people do it so according to this question so that they can purchase more products bigger homes better cars [Music] quality food for example okay so this is what you should be thinking so that they can purchase more products bigger homes better cars a quality and tasty food that's why we do it okay and then how how is always an example so give me an example alright give me an example of a person who is working hard to make more money so that they can be entertained more I'll do the same our examples can be completely different here okay so okay so the how is the example the x10 says manager works about 8 to 9 8 to 9 p.m. in the office yeah okay excellent and always think about the full example okay when you're thinking of examples think of the full example all right complete example so in my case I'm thinking of working more software programmer works 60 hours each week and also the concept of buying a 200 square meter home driving a Mercedes going on vacations to Hawaii so the more entertainment and more convenience okay Rajveer says people spend 10 hours per day to get bonuses which help them buy luxurious items and entertainment Rajveer it's not bad but be specific with those examples okay so what luxurious item what entertainment and you want to get that in your mind because especially in questions where you're deciding between the advantages outweigh the disadvantages you need to have crystal-clear specific examples to help you make that decision and make it better okay so be specific as specific as possible notice how I'm saying go to Hawaii on vacation and buy a Mercedes okay Caroline you said my father decided to start his own restaurant so he works Monday to Sunday 6 a.m. to 10:00 p.m. but he also owns a BMW and vacations in Costa Rica so finish the idea Karolina finished the idea jeetendra says for example one of my friends is working at a construction company as an engineer and he always does overtime so he can afford buying and then go into the second half okay give the example for the full question students that's really important when you're going through this now in the official exam you're doing that in your mind and it's very important to create that full example in your mind alright okay so what's my next step the controlling idea and the controlling idea here is do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of this trend right that is the controlling idea so we have to figure out is this good or is this bad alright what do you think so what's good about this what's good about working hard to buy more give me some answers whatever comes to your mind quickly nice and fast okay what's good about working hard so that we can buy more you have to think about the advantages and the disadvantages before you can decide which side to choose okay don't be too quick to decide okay so Preeti says people can live a luxurious life okay so people can experience more luxurious parts of life let's say like that okay all right like drive a nice car see nice places okay sure so Karolina says less stress about paying expensive bills sure okay all right and here the question helps you a little bit right because the question says that this has made life more entertaining and comfortable in many ways right so that's okay all right alright Jeetendra says expertise in work I think Jitendra that's going off topic the controlling idea here is not about whether it's beneficial for your work to work more but whether it's beneficial for your overall quality of life okay yaks done has a good point so the excellent says we can buy whatever we want expensive items for the family right so more buying power more options okay what are the disadvantages so what would be the disadvantages of working hard to buy more let's take the opposite and then we can compare and come up with a thesis Kate Carolina says stress work-related stress yeah bad health less time with family okay Michelle says less lack of time to spend with near and dear near and dear is a little bit awkward beshal to use in this case that expression family is better okay Preeti says no focus in the present so yeah the power of now right so lack of present lack of focus on the present context so what's happening around them now okay so we have lots of ideas for disadvantages okay and we have some ideas for advantages so stress less to pay expensive bills more buying options people can experience more all right let's decide so what do you think for your thesis do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages or vice versa so what should we write about should we tell our reader that the benefits are more or the deficits are more okay of working hard to be able to buy more what do you think what would be the easier choice in this case I would not write partial okay for this kind of question students do not write partials okay for do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages okay do not write partial responses this would be a weak essay okay so if you say all it's both advantages and disadvantages it's kind of mixed for a week si okay if the question says discuss the advantages and the disadvantages then you can write about both but here you should focus on one okay so instead focus on one side this will read much better okay all right okay so yaks done says the advantages are more Rajveer says deficits are more Carolina says benefits are more okay sure you know what write your thesis let's see how your thesis sounds so Y X done write a thesis with the advantages Rajveer write a thesis with the deficits Carolina write a thesis with the benefits and then we'll see okay I'm going to do the same so I'll write two thesis statements in this case just so you can see both sides okay all right so there's my first one and now I'll write the opposite and then we'll compare and decide okay here we go so be okay alright so Rajveer says although working more can provide benefits like purchasing a luxurious house or an entertainment entertaining gadget the deficits of this trend are more such as poor health and less a family time Rajveer that's a very complex thesis you don't need to include I think the purchasing a luxurious house and entertaining gadgets because your body paragraphs will focus on poor health and less family time okay but it's not bad the x10 says working longer hours to earn more has more advantages than disadvantages like fulfilling family needs and experiencing a luxurious life yes done you have good ideas but I had to correct your grammar so pay attention to that jeetendra says benefits for working hard to achieve goals require financial help it's a fast track to grab opportunities not sure where you're going with that Jitendra you have to rethink it so I wrote two thesis statements here first one advantages outweigh disadvantages the benefits of working more to purchase more are greater than the deficits as this situation and powers individuals for better experiences and less stress okay so better experiences body paragraph 1 less stress body paragraph 2 that's my argument for this situation ok that's advantages outweigh disadvantages now the opposite disadvantages outweigh the advantages the negatives of effortful labor in order to consume more are greater than the positives as overworking leads to less time with family and more stress about earning came more stress about let me say finances okay all right so now that I've created both of these a and B I have to decide which one I think is going to be easier for me to write in this question or in some contexts you really do have to look at both sides of the argument and then think okay which one of these would be easier for me to write for those of you who are practicing this at home or these kinds of questions at home in the official IELTS exam if you get this type of a question it might be a good idea to think of both sides of the coin and create and think about a thesis statement for both sides and then choose which one you think is easier for you to write okay Karolina says there are several advantages of working overtime to buy expensive items rather than working for an average salary okay but where are you going with that Karolina so you have to think what am I going to do with that what will my body paragraphs look like for me Karolina it's not a hundred percent clear what kind of body paragraphs are going to come from your thesis okay you have to have that clarity so here I have that clarity with better experiences and less stress okay all right less or more stress that's subjective you might include that as disadvantage you might include that as an advantage in this context okay all right so for me I feel like a is going to be a little bit easier talking about the advantages especially when a person enjoys the work that they do so I'm going to stick with this thesis statement okay all right now let's start the introduction if questions come up students just ask me don't be shy so the introduction should start of course with the hook give me a good hook for this introductory paragraph give me a nice hook simple fact that catches the reader's attention okay I'm going to write the hook while you think of yours all right so give me a nice hook something that's related to this topic related to the controlling idea and catches the reader's attention stay tight stay focused on the question at hand okay here's mine so in this fast-paced consumer society people often work over 60 hours a week to pay for their needs and wants yeah Rajveer I love it that's beautiful so reg fierce writes people are working around the clock to earn more money than ever before very nice reg beer I like it so I'll post your idiomatic expression here reg beer work around the clock okay it means lots of hours of work or even means 24 hours of work 24 hours of work okay so the clock working around the clock right so lots and lots of work a clock usually shows 12 hours but it's it's even more okay so nice nice use of that expression work around the clock in that hook reg beard good job that would definitely lead the examiner think that you have some high level English skills reg beer certainly Karolina says millions of people spend at least eight hours of their day working hard more specifically to buy expensive items not bad Karolina the end of it gets a little bit complex unnecessarily 8 hours a day is the standard amount of time full-time labor so I would increase that Karolina to 10 and Karolina make sure that for task 2 you're using words for 0 to 10 not the number for task to task 1 it's ok but for task 2 make sure to use words so millions of people Karolina this is what I would write millions of people spend at least 10 hours a day work hard to buy expensive items take out the more specifically in the comma okay next on says working more hours is adopted by millions of people these days in order to live luxurious lives yeah yes done good good Mahesh says in this contemporary era every individual has to work hard to win their bread and butter yeah Mahesh in this question we're really focusing on working hard to live better so not just for survival although I respect that's of course the case for many people they work hard for their basic needs in this case we're discussing working extra or more hours to live more comfortable lives okay so make sure you don't lose that that's a very dangerous and this question students to start thinking about well you know somebody's working hard so they can pay for their basic needs unfortunately that's true there are a lot of people out there like that but this question is not focusing on that so careful okay approached yadav says nowadays the abundance of people spend most of their day working hard in order to grab their basic needs same mistake prescott it's not about basic needs it's about working hard to buy more than your basic needs okay so careful if you talk about basic and working hard to buy basic needs you're talking about a different question okay so give me the background of course the background is the definition and the importance of the question okay I'll write the background you write the background and then we'll compare okay all right so there is my background millions of people opt to spend their time at work rather than with family and friends so they increase the quality and quantity of goods and services they buy this has a major impact on their personal and social lives okay so from the hook to the background and now of course I just plug in my thesis and the thesis is the one that advantages outweigh the disadvantages is the one that I'm choosing so I'm just going to copy this in here to finish my introductory paragraph okay here we go in this fast-paced consumer society people often work over 60 hours a week to pay for their needs and wants millions of individuals I'm going to change people ought to spend their time at work rather than with family and friends so they can increase the quality and quantity of goods and services that they buy this has a major impact on their personal and social lives the benefits of working more to purchase more are greater than the deficits as this situation and powers individuals for better experiences and less stress that would be my band nine introduction for this question okay all right Rajveer rights individuals usually spend ten to twelve hours in their office to earn bonuses which they use to purchase entertaining gadgets and luxurious cars yam and Rajveer students think about always those big global pictures so objects that we buy that's one part of consumerism is physical objects like cars Computers houses and of course the other part of consumerism are services like going to the hairdresser going on a vacation somewhere I'm going jet skiing scuba diving so those experiences that we pay for so whenever you're thinking about consumerism or you have a question the IELTS that deals with buying and consuming think about products and services always okay all right Rajveer writes this phenomenon has a considerable impact on their personal and professional lives yeah sure that works x10 says people work about 15 hours in their jobs to have a large salary and be able to amuse themselves and enjoy life okay next on be really careful with your grammar okay there was definitely some correction there that I had to apply for it to make sense okay yeah I see you're making some Corrections now as well so pay attention word order grammar always focused students on practicing your word order and grammar it's a good idea to have grammar textbooks and just go back and do the exercises in those grammar textbooks and make sure to read at least an hour to each day not just articles but novels so that you can get into some more fluent use of English grammar okay I'm super important all right so again this is my introduction now I'm ready for but the body paragraphs and of course body paragraph one will be better experiences and body paragraph 2 will be less stress so members will continue from there tomorrow okay we have clarity we know where we're going importantly when you have questions where it's not clear whether it's easier to write about the advantages or the disadvantages create a thesis even if it's just in your mind on each one so the benefits thesis and the deficits thesis and then you should be able to decide the other important step for this type of question is don't discuss both sides in your essay it's awkward okay if the question asks discuss both the negatives and the deficits or both the advantages this event then discuss both but if it says do does one outweigh the other don't say no they're both it's awkward and it makes for a week essay always choose one side in this case we choose one side okay when you're thinking of the what why how it's important for the how to be a specific example that deals with the whole question so you can have more clarity in your mind okay all right coming up in about 3540 minutes we will have a reading class some reading practice members and students so make sure to stay tuned for reading practice and strategy ok preety 285 words is okay maybe a little bit more try to get closer to 300 words for task two okay 250 is the absolute minimum so if you write 300 words you're actually only 20% over the minimum requirement preety 250 is the minimum that you have to write for task completion in TOEFL it's 300 that's the minimum so a good task 2 essay should be closer to 300 words maybe even a little bit more good question okay students again check us out at AE help calm for academic IELTS lots of help there lots of sample essays that you can practice with and G IELTS help calm for general IELTS join those premium packages begin learning for success today that's it for me for right now I will be back in about 40 minutes with some reading exercise and practice and of course some strategy as well keep it up keep going forward much love bye for now Adrian from Budapest

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Id: xo8V18Mm_1s

Length: 46min 39sec (2799 seconds)

Published: Sat Feb 08 2020