IELTS Live - Task 2 - Writing a Band 9 Finish

hi students and welcome to today's live IELTS class my name is Adrian and I'm streaming to you live from beautiful Budapest here in the heart of Europe I hope everybody has had a fantastic week and is looking forward to an even better weekend hi Sean Butare pretty on shoe putts you good to see many students in class hi gunk I Ren Rajamani come nice to see members in the class as well and a hello to you students in this class we are looking at IEM TS tasks to writing looking for those high band scores band 9 we are doing a band 9 sample essay today and again these materials and strategies come from our websites AE help.com for academic IELTS material strategies and help check us out there and for the general version check us out at G IELTS help.com on both of these websites we have loads of materials for you the academic looks like this click that big red button to join the Premium Package get six original exams over a hundred hours of HD video lessons as well as a fully interactive course for your phone tablet PC the general version looks like this at G IELTS help calm click that big red button to join the Premium Package on that website for general Al's help also download and link the apps academic IELTS help that links to your a help calm account and general outs help app links to your G outs help.com account we do provide you with the world's most advanced online IELTS training if you have questions about our materials or the exam you can send me an email adrian at AE help calm we are partners with british council as an official IELTS registration Center so students in Saudi Arabia can even register for your exams through our websites and we have writing and speaking help available there also there's lots and lots of help for you to get those higher band scores today we're finishing again the task 2 that we started yesterday I will review the question and the introductory paragraph and then tomorrow we'll have a Q&A session for members so Geun Chi Ren and other members who are already in the class think about questions for tomorrow's class to ask me and I will help you out and for everybody we will have a speaking part 3 class tomorrow as well hi just Quran saying good to see more members roshni good to see you in the class ok students so we started this question yesterday I discussed how to analyze the question plan your answer and then we worked on the introductory paragraph together the hook the background and the direct thesis right so IELTS task 2 writing let's review this question you should spend about 40 minutes on this task there are several forms of renewable energy sources such as wind solar and hydro power as the world becomes increasingly concerned about the use of fossil fuels and nuclear power it is clear that alternative solutions are necessary which type of renewable energy source is the best choice and why it's an open question give explanations and examples to support your opinion now this is an academic task too I think bushra is asking is this academic this is academic but really the task to question and the academic in general version of the exam they're very similar you could get a question like this in the general as well Taylor Reis if you send me your essay I will give you a score estimate so I will let you know what kind of a man square you can expect okay so we paraphrase the question we made sure we understand it then we realize that choosing solar power is a wise decision because there's a lot of information that we can write about solar power and we figured out that two good points for using solar power in the future is its clean energy and its abundant energy it means it's readily available which means that there's a lot of solar energy of course we have that giant ball of burning fire in the sky producing all of that incredible energy so just a quick review I made a very important point in yesterday's class I told you that indirect thesis statements are very common by students and they do not get good band scores because they're considered a weak thesis statement this is an indirect thesis statement this essay will discuss the reasons solar energy is the best choice that's a weak thesis it gets low band scores so you should write a direct thesis statement direct thesis statements get high band scores a direct thesis statement is like this it is arguable that the most viable source of sustainable energy is solar as it is both clean and abundant it's a much much better thesis statement the thesis statement is the last sentence of your introductory paragraph and it controls your essays shows the direction the voice and the structure of your essay okay so here is the introductory paragraph that we completed yes let's look at it now and then we'll continue with the body paragraphs task two should be four paragraphs this is the hook the hook is important I don't care what your teacher or your book tells you the hook is very important for the IELTS it's very important for a college university any high school student in the US Canada UK will tell you that they write a hook even for a grade 11 grade 12 essay okay so no it's not okay to just skip the hook for the IELTS exam here we go the hook introduces the topic catches the reader and it's a clean clear accurate sentence keep it simple in the technology age humans consume more energy than ever before it's 11 words it's accurate it's clear it introduces the idea of using energy then comes the background people have used several different sources to produce power such as coal oil and wood however many of these fuels to create energy come with a great cost to the well-being of humans and the planet in the form of pollution therefore alternative power sources must be emphasized that's the background and tells the reader what we're talking about and why we're talking about it and then comes my direct thesis it is arguable that the most viable source of sustainable energy is solar as it is both clean and abundant what is my first body paragraph going to be about so now we're going to do this together I'm not going to write the essay for you we are going to work together students on this and body paragraph one will be what clean energy that's right Latifah hikmah till Omarosa very good it will be about clean energy clean solar energy that's right and first comes the topic sentence which is a definition of 0.1 okay which in this case is clean solar energy now students remember I told you in the past that there are different ways of paraphrasing such as using synonyms antonyms so synonyms would be like saying big large okay and using antonin negatives would be like stay don't go all right one type of paraphrasing is what's called descriptive paraphrasing I'll give you an example of that okay it's fruit it's red round and delicious what is it what's the fruit okay what's the fruit that we're talking about here but you says it's an apple right that's a good guest put you that's exactly what I was thinking about it is a red apple okay so red shiny Apple roasty says but it could be a cherry and roshni you're right okay I never said it's smaller bigger most people guess Apple that's good alright so this is called descriptive paraphrasing so this is exactly what you want to do it's not an explanation but it's a descriptive paraphrase okay so you want to do the same but in Reverse for your topic sentence so when we say clean energy okay so clean energy or clean solar energy is like saying Apple okay so now we want to define this so we want to explain or not explained but describe what clean solar energy means okay so give me that sentence okay so for Dobbs says solar energy is absolutely clean energy as it does not pollute the environment okay good so yeah thinking about the word pollution here is very good for Dobbs okay soma-rasa says it safeguards the environment okay what do you mean murasa definitely the word pollution here is good pedram says obviously solar energy is one of the cleanest sustainable energy sources in the world given that it's pollution is the least compared to the others pedram nice you can shorten that up and just focus on the second half that it is it pollutes much less than other forms of producing energy okay all right so my topic sentence and then we'll compare it to yours is all right so this is what I would write to describe the Apple meaning what I say by clean-energy so all energy production comes with some byproducts but arguably solar power creates the least amount of pollution when compared with other energy sources okay so that is my definition of clean energy it means producing energy at the lowest cost to the environment okay there's a lot of different ways that you can say that alright we don't want to repeat the word clean okay so clean is already in my thesis I just use that it's clean and abundant so ideally I don't want to use the word clean again here because that sounds repetitive and the IELTS examiner's don't like to see the word repetitively in your essay care words repetitively so all energy production comes with some byproducts byproducts means products that are an extension of that process like smoke smog okay creating factories but arguably solar power creates the least amount of pollution when compared with other energy sources all right we're not talking about cheap here we're talking about clean so now in many of your IELTS courses and books they say okay now give some supporting points supporting points what is that supporting points right went wrong what is that what our supporting points supporting points can be many many different ideas you need to have more clarity than that you need to have more focus so I don't like to use the word supporting points I like to use the word a clear explanation okay that's what you need to do so you need to explain your topic sentence okay so you need to explain what do you mean okay so here think about it this way sometimes it's good to think about your essay like a conversation with your reader okay so if I'm your reader and I read your topic sentence so I read all energy production comes with some byproducts but arguably solar power creates the least amount of pollution when compared with other energy sources okay so here we're thinking of course of hydro or wind for example renewable energy sources okay and so your reader here if I read this the readers asking what do you mean so this is the question that your explanation should be answering what do you mean it's cleaner okay so Amira I like your topic sentence Amira's topic sentence is one reason solar power is the best it provides pure green energy with the least adverse effects on the environment good Amira that works as a topic sentence okay all right so what does it mean so swank doc says most types of fuels produce energy nowadays contaminate the environment but solar energy is environmentally friendly which means it does not have a chance of contained contaminating the surroundings sea wanes it's a little bit unclear so my question is still there when I read your explanation see Wayne it just sounds like it's a repeat of the topic sentence maybe that is your topic sentence in that case it's good but it's not good as an explanation okay so Rajveer says solar energy requires panels which can be easily installed on to rooftops rather than building gigantic structures which are imperative in case of wind and hydro energy Rajveer very nice so reg veer has a great explanation so producing solar power leaves a much smaller footprint on the environment since solar panels can be installed on rooftops and do not need massive structures such as wind turbines and dams that disrupt nature okay very nice Rajveer so I used your idea and of course I painted it a little bit with some more vocabulary because I'm showing you that band 9 level writing but nonetheless Rajveer if you were to write that sentence for your explanation you're right up there with the band 8 maybe even 8.5 level on the exam because I can clearly get the idea that you're presenting I would like to see some more specific vocabulary like wind turbines and dam or dams so that I can give you that band 9 nonetheless I do know that that's what you're referring to by saying gigantic structures ok so that's clear for me right so producing solar power leaves a much smaller footprint on the environment since solar panels can be installed on rooftops and do not need massive structures such as wind turbines and dams that disrupt nature there that's a little bit clearer that way all right let's see what else some other students have for the explanation Oh Marsha Faye says other types of energy generate greenhouse gases in order to produce the final desired product whereas solar power creates the required energy without releasing any harmful substances okay good now Omar do remember that we're not talking about comparing solar power to fossil fuels we're comparing solar power to other renewable energy sources okay pedram is asking can I use the word in both short and long run yes you can just make sure you're using it accurately in the context that you're expressing okay a story honey says compared with wind turbines and dams comma solar energy is the least polluting to the environment as it requires much less space okay good aster that's really nice I like how you were very concise so you're able to state this idea in a short way it's fantastic nice complex sentence aster finish the sentence came polluting to the environment as it requires much less space okay all right Ronny yeah it says solar power is considered the purest most feasible and easiest to generate on a wide scale compared to all other types of power Randy that's more in the introduction that kind of information okay Shang Hong sigh says the reason for solar power being clean is that it uses only Sun radiation collected by solar panels to create the electricity without building enormous structures such as dams and wind turbines very good Shang very nice it's a nice explanation so far so good students so our body paragraph 1 all energy production comes with some byproducts but arguably solar power creates the least amount of pollution when compared with other energy sources producing solar power leaves a much smaller footprint on the environment since solar panels can be installed on rooftops and solar power does not need massive structures such as wind turbines and dams that disrupt nature ok now comes the example right so give me an example and your example needs to be specific it can be completely made up or imaginative ok but it needs to be specific something I can see ok and here my hint is example of solar versus wind or hydro power ok so give me an example Saab Sun you have to give me an example of how solar power is much cleaner than hydro power or wind power as a source of renewable energy going into the future ok so come up with it any example will work like maybe something about the Three Gorges Dam on the Yangtze River in China the world's largest hydropower dam and the damage it does to the environment compared to the solar panels used in Holland to generate power for instance ok just throwing it out there but you can come up with your own murasa Barak e says for example just last month I read an article and found that in 2018 Afghanistan overcame air pollution by 60% through the use of solar power and this is saving flora and fauna very nice murasa murasa this is a third person si sono I me my okay in this example just third person Latifah says as mentioned in Gulf News big n Latifah News wind and hydropower produce waste 10 times more than solar energy ok Latifah that's good so you're going with a specific statistic that you got from the Gulf News sure our shot says solar power is easy for everyone to use and it saves a lot of money Arshad that's another point okay you can't just go off on to another point in the same body paragraph because your reader will be confused they'll be like how what are you suddenly talking about I don't get it you might get it but I don't get it okay you need to go into detail students nabina reg me says especially solar power produces clean energy okay don't use contractions Naveen and we're looking for a specific example okay your second supporting point should be some specific example all right so pedram says a good example of this is self-sustaining mega factories which not only condensed but also lower detrimental effects of the environment using solar panels so Petron you got to get solar power into your example otherwise your readers going okay you want me to guess that it's because of solar so it needs to be in there okay Manuka says for instance solar power does not release sound like wind turbines which create a lot of noise Manuka that's more of an explanation okay than an exam Tayler recess for instance algeria invested more than 400 to catch their tailor ease yet so tailor recess for instance Algeria invested more than 400 billion dollars into solar panels as opposed to 300 million dollars in 2017 which reduced pollution by 13% okay not too clear Taylor on that you want to develop it more Rushdie says a study released in Washington University showed that solar panels in Holland not only saved 90 percent of power which is reliable but also create 10 percent pollution compared with China's Three Gorges Dam yeah so something like that came a recent news report stated that the solar panels in Holland are a safe way to generate electricity whereby they it does not devastate nature in comparison to the Three Gorges hydro power dam in china which has negatively impacted the lives of pandas as well as fresh water dolphins among other species alright so again I'm pushing you for that real high band 9 response I'm just kind of making this up as I go but the idea here is for you to see a Barry civic example and if you can't write it in one sentence write it in two so a recent news report stated that the solar panels in Holland are a safe way to generate electricity whereby it does not devastate nature in comparison to the Three Gorges hydropower dam in china which has negatively impacted the lives of pandas as well as freshwater dolphins among other species okay obviously that's a complex sentence with a lot of elements and I'm showing you that band 9 level but most importantly here notice the style of that example so it's a third-person example okay it's comparing hydro to solar power and it's making it very clear what I mean by my topic sentence and my explanation notice how clear this is when I read the body paragraph all in one ok looks long but notice I have a lot of explanation here and also I'm using size 16 font so here we go all energy production comes with some byproducts but arguably solar power creates the least amount of pollution when compared with other energy sources producing solar power leaves a much smaller footprint on the environment since solar panels can be installed on rooftops and solar power does not need massive structures such as wind turbines and dams to disrupt nature a recent news report stated that solar panels in Holland are a safe way to generate electricity whereby it does not devastate nature in comparison to the Three Gorges hydropower dam in china which has negatively impacted the lives of pandas as well as freshwater dolphins it's very visual okay so if I want to make this a little bit less wordy a little bit simpler I can take out that last little bit it's not absolutely necessary and I can even take this out because it's in my explanation so now I've simplified it still reads real well and it's a very specific example I hope that's clear okay be honest with me viewer students when you read this body paragraph so when you read this okay what I just went through am i convincing you that solar power is a clean form of energy and it's a good choice for renewable energy are you convinced that's my goal right ultimately my goal is to convince you of the idea that solar power is the best choice for renewable energy in the future am i successful with this information yes or no if not I need to change my writing if yes then I'm on the right track okay so am i convincing you if your answers are yes then great we can continue okay that's how you should always check your work thank you for coming back to me on that sub Sun and arsh deep Omar that was definitely a question okay you can use solar power or solar energy not just in the summer there's some really sunny places in winter as well okay so great now am I finished so am I done here is this the end of my body paragraph one can I go to body paragraph two raza says no I agree with murasa not quite done yet what do I need now so what do I need now yeah I need some kind of a connecting sentence so some kind of a connecting concluding sentence make sense here it's really simple so connecting and concluding sentence okay so this is one of two key reasons that solar energy is the right choice for future power production okay so just keeping it simple you don't have to overthink it so this is one of two key reasons that solar energy is the right choice for future power production okay why because I gave two points right in my thesis statement I said that it's clean and it's abundant so those are my two points I just talked about clean now I'm going to talk about abundant of course right there is no contradictory side here chef's on the way because the question the tastic question is which renewable energy source is the best choice and why okay students be really careful to pay attention to the task to question if you start to write about fossil fuels here you're going off topic okay so this body paragraph two has to be about solar energy is abundant okay and the same concept as for body paragraph one so we have the word Apple in this case it's not Apple it's the word abundant so now you need to tell me that it's red round it's a fruit it's delicious so describe the abundant describe the concept that solar energy is abundant okay so explain that to your reader not really explain but define it define it for your reader write your topic sentence it's very very important students that you practice a lot at home your thesis statements and your topic sentences if you can write good thesis statements for your introduction and good topic sentences for your body paragraphs you're on your way to a high band score ok soma-rasa says solar power can produce two million megawatts of energy per hour okay I think you're being a little bit too specific murasa let's see Nepean we want to stay away from cheaper we're not talking about cheap here we're talking about saving the environment nobody cares about money when it comes down to saving the planet right because all the money in the world will not buy another planet Earth Rajveer says another advantage of solar energy is that it is an unlimited source of power yeah I mean for in the world of humans Rajveer sure the Sun will eventually die but yes in our in our sense of existence it's unlimited okay see Wayne says there will never be a lack of sunlight see Wayne don't jump to future tense will there is never a lack of sunlight or energy coming from the Sun yeah Rodrigo says sunlight has been around since humankind's early existence and therefore it is a cost effective form of generating power rodrigo students i know we all care about money but let's try to stay away from money just think about abundance so it's available okay it's available let's see su forty one two one oh says there's a lot of sunlight in most parts of the world which help convert sunlight into electricity through solar panels yeah in fact there's sunlight in all parts of the world at different times even in the North Pole where it's sunny half of the year dark the other half it's very sunny for half of the year you could create a lot of power and store the energy in batteries so there's sunlight everywhere okay on planet earth there's no place on earth that doesn't get sunlight at some point okay and that can be your topic sentence if there's no place on earth which does not get energy from the Sun okay go back says to sum up there are different kinds of producing power or jus Beck I think you're onto the summary or the conclusion we're not there yet okay gunk iran says solar energy cannot be used up as long as the Sun exists yeah so so my first sentence here uses the word arguably because I'm arguing now I'm trying not to repeat the word arguably so I'm going to use a synonym it can be debated that solar energy is the most available form of power on planet Earth as solar radiation exists on all of Earth's surface now I don't want to repeat words so I'm going to take out the word earth up here okay this is my topic sentence it can be debated that solar energy is the most available form of power on the planet as solar radiation exists on all of Earth's surface okay it's a giant ball of burning fire in the sky there's definitely solar radiation remember what I said yesterday ninety-five percent of all energy on the surface of our planet comes from the Sun in one way or another only about five percent comes from inside of our planet okay from volcanoes and such okay so it can be debated that solar energy is the most available form of power on the planet of solar radiation exists on all of Earth's surface just imagine what would happen to plants and life if we didn't have that incredible power coming from the Sun all right so explain that to me what do you mean give me a nice clear explanation of this okay while you're thinking about that I'll read some more of the comments by students so Nadia Khalil says solar systems have undergone an additional depletion of volatile hydrogen helium neon nitrogen and carbon okay we're getting really scientific which is okay Nadia but just make sure that your explanation is clear to your reader I'm not quite certain where you're going with that okay Krishna fitness says sunlight is important in the solar system so the energy can be produced in any way in the availability of this Sun okay Krishna I kind of get what you're saying but you have a little bit of awkward and confusing phrasing there so maybe rethink how to express your idea murasa says the Sun not frequently murasa the Sun consistently radiates energy to every part of the earth and individuals can generate enormous amount of electricity from this power okay Rajveer says since the Sun is the source of 95% of energy humans can focus on storing sunlight in order to produce power rather than worrying about other forms very nice read fear yeah yeah it'll take something like that since it is a known fact that 95% of the existing energy or on earth originates from the Sun people ought to focus their attention on converting and storing this sustainable resource rather than worrying about hydro wind or other forms of renewable power ok yeah thanks for that Rudra that's a nice explanation ok pachoo says as the sunrays fall on the surface of the earth every organism can get energy and convert this energy in different ways so to humans should use this energy to convert it into electricity but you that was really good I loved how you started that idea I just kind of added a little bit more to the end of it so it makes a lot of sense it's a nice explanation as well ok gonk Iran says people living in any place on our planet can make use of Sun energy yeah that's right so people living in any part of the world can make use of solar energy with the right technology yeah many of you may or may not know this but solar cells are actually very advanced now and even on rainy days or cloudy days there are very advanced types of solar panels that can in fact generate power even on days where there's not a lot of sunlight in fact there's solar panels now which can be used as windows just imagine a skyscraper where you have all of the windows on the skyscraper generating electricity and you can look out the window just the same okay incredible and these exist but humans are slow to change slow to change that's just my little two bits there all right yeah so now you're getting the idea I can see a lot of good explanations yeah Rodrigo says it is seamless and full of incidents in the four corners of the world solar energy can be grasped by all people and taken advantage of as a potential power supply Rodrigo good ok there's a nice explanation there as well I changed some of your words and a little bit of your grammar for it to make more sense ok good nice work students so now we want to give an example ok so again give me a nice clear example ok maybe in your example compare hydro with wind with solar but be specific ok the goal of your example is always to be specific ok be very very specific let's see what you come up with so you can refer to an imaginary news article some kind of a scientific research paper you can just make it up ok Alex Joseph says for example the Sun imparts a massive amount of sunlight on the earth every day although the earth absorbs about 3.8 million exajoules of solar energy every year all right very nice yeah sure so that is more of an explanation Alex than an example but it's a nice explanation ok firoozeh I don't think the Sun will be ended after some years I think it's about five billion years and if the Sun ceases to exist humans will certainly cease to exist on earth okay Juno says for instance in the Terai region of Nepal people use sunlight to produce electricity which is cheaper than other ways of producing okay Juna let's just go with what you're starting there for instance from the Terai [Music] regions of Nepal nopal to the fields of Holland and the hills of South Africa solar panels are being used to produce massive amounts of sustainable energy in fact harnessing the power of the Sun [Music] Singh sorry the power of the Sun is more widespread on earth than any other including wind and hydro power okay so there I have my second body paragraph now I'm going to read it make sure it makes sense make sure it's up to snuff it's a band 9 let's check it out so it can be debated that solar energy is the most available form of power on the planet as solar radiation exists on all of Earth's surface since it is a known fact that 95% of the existing energy on earth originates from the Sun people ought to focus their intention on converting and storing the sustainable resource rather than worrying about hydro wind or other forms of renewable power people living in any part of the world can make use of solar energy with the right technology for instance the Terai regions of Nepal from sorry for instance from the Terai regions of Nepal to the fields of Holland and the hills of South Africa solar panels are being used to produce massive amounts of sustainable energy in fact harnessing the power of the Sun is more widespread on earth than any other including wind and hydro power ok but you says thanks I live in the Tri region of Nepal sure all right so so far so good now we don't need a connecting concluding sentence here because the next paragraph is the conclusion and unfortunately I've run out of time for the conclusion but I'll leave that for you for homework if you don't know how to write a good conclusion check for some videos on the channel especially some of the pre-recorded videos so not the live class videos but pre-recorded tasks to videos and you will see some description of how to write a good conclusion nevertheless so far this is your band 9 tasks to essay I will post the full essay on the YouTube channel community board so on this YouTube channel there's a comments section there's a community comment section where you can find lots of tasks one task two samples from previous classes I will post this one there also as well as the task one essay that we did with members earlier this week so great job students I think a lot of you got the right idea about how to write that topic sentence explanation example and that's what you need to do on the IELTS exam to get those higher band scores you need to reach that grade 12 college university level writing structure okay alright everyone make sure to check out and join our premium packages G IELTS help dog comm click that big red button to join the premium package there and for the academic it's the blue background at eighty help calm click that big red button to join the premium package there get lots of fantastic materials videos apps and help to get better band scores that's it for me for today tomorrow again question and answer session for members so members have your questions ready and for everybody afterwards at this time speaking part three practice and strategy much love to all of you I hope your weekend will be off to a great start bye for now

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Keywords: IELTS, Task 2, writing, essay, paragraphs, sentences, vocabulary, introduction paragraph, band 9, body paragraphs, conclusion, IELTS description, English examination, writing IELTS, writing for task two, second part of writing, writing strategies, IELTS task 2, Lesson, Teacher, Learn, Student, Lessons, Learning, Free, Intro, Tutorial, IELTS task 2 explain, IELTS task 2 learning, IELTS task 2 explanations, plan, planning, understand, skills, strategies

Id: lrejzNec8bQ

Length: 54min 5sec (3245 seconds)

Published: Fri Jan 17 2020