IELTS Writing Task 2 | PROBLEM / SOLUTION ESSAY with Jay!

hello everyone my name is Jay I'm one of the expert teachers at e2 language I'm an IELTS expert how do I know that well I have a degree in linguistics I've been teaching for many years and I've taken the IELTS test in this lesson we're going to look at IELTS writing task 2 and we're going to look at the problem solution essay we haven't looked at this one yet this is a bit of a trick it requires a similar structure that we've seen in other essays but there's a bit of a difference with this one and we're going to look at that today so let's get started first of all what we want to aim for is an IELTS 9 or there abouts if we fall short that's ok but this should be on our aim this essay here is what we're going to learn how to write this I dare say is an IELTS 9 or at least it should be worth an IELTS 9 because everything that the examiners are looking for in your writing is in this essay there are 4 things that the examiners look for I'm going to go through them at the end of this presentation but right now trust me this is a good essay and you're going to write one word by word with me right question prompt the first thing we need to think about is the question front this is what you're going to see on test a in front of you on the piece of paper on the test paper ok just give me one second I need to uh I need to I need to do something just bear with me I've forgotten my I've forgotten my I forgot my I forgot my what hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on my people my powerpoint presentation has just died I might have to start this video again it did die interesting not good and I need that and I'm gonna start this again I'm sorry about the mucking around there but let's try that again from the beginning hello my name is Jay I'm one of the teachers at e2 language comm in this lesson we're going to look at IELTS writing task 2 it applies to both IELTS general and IELTS academic and we're going to look at the problem solution essay we're going to look at this one here there are two parts and you may get this on test day so let's work out how to write this one right we're going to look first at an IELTS 9 essay I wrote this one before and this is what we're going to aim to do today in fact I'm going to get you to write this thing symptoms by sentence so please get out a pen and a piece of paper because there's only one way to learn how to write essays and that's to write essays yes there's a bit of Theory involved and to understand the structure and what you need to put in there but the best practice you can do is to actually write their sentences yourself so please let's do this and yes we'll do that cool right the first thing we want to think about is the question prompt on test day this is what you're going to see in front of you now I was just talking before with Mohammed that there are five different IELTS essay question prompts can I remember them well there's the agree to what extent do you agree or disagree there's the discussion is the problem solution there's the advantages disadvantages and of course I've forgotten one which is the double question so there are five prompts so this is one of them let's look at this more closely and you will notice something about it first of all there's a general statement it says stress-related illnesses are becoming increasingly common then it has a little first part here it says what do you think are the causes of this and we've got a key word here which tells us this is the problem solution essay and we have a second part here that says what solutions can you suggest so this question prompt here is the problem solution one we need to learn how to write it so as I said there's a general state all of the prompts will have a general statement for the problem solution stress-related illnesses are becoming increasingly common then you're going to look at the causes it's going to ask you about the causes now pay close attention because it doesn't stay cause it says causes it says more than one cause we need to talk about causes plural and same here when it says solutions they didn't say it doesn't say what solution says what solutions plural we need to pay careful attention to this don't worry I'm going to show you what to do write essay structure very simply we're going to have four paragraphs an introduction a paragraph one to any conclusion our paragraph one this one here we're going to mention two causes and in our paragraph two we're going to mention the two solutions so this is the overall structure of what we're going to learn how to write of course is more complex than that and we need to think about this sentence by sentence and again you need to practice this and let's take a look at this this is what we're going to do we're going to write this essay sentence by sentence let's just have a brief look at it let's look at the introduction you can see here one two three sentences paragraph one we've got one two three four sentences same with paragraph two and the conclusion has three sentences now you may notice something about this essay structure and that is well that is this let's look at this the introduction and the conclusion are exactly the same sentence one rewrite the general statement sentence to this essay will discuss two main causes sentence three this essay will suggest two main solutions the conclusion sentence one rewrite the general statement sentenced to this essay discussed sentence three this essay suggested so the only difference here is the verb tense but you can see that the introduction and the conclusion mirror each other in fact they're almost exactly the same and it's the same thing with paragraph 1 and 2 they're exactly the same so sentence 1 introduced both courses introduced both solutions give reasons give reasons give examples give examples conclude the causes conclude the solutions these two paragraphs have almost an identical structure so in fact when you look at this thing here it's really not that much really you're learning how to write well here it should be in fact 14 sentences but not really really you have to memorize seven different sentences that's possible that's doable that works and by the way this is logical to write alright before we start writing we need to understand about causes and solutions so all of these problems solution essays will ask will first of all have a general statement and it might be something about obesity or traffic congestion or it might be about education or it might be about I don't know air pollution or homelessness some sort of controversial topic so that's the general statement then it will say what are the causes plural of obesity homelessness illiteracy for example then it will say what are some possible solutions for illiteracy or obesity etc so what we want to do is make it easy for ourselves let's think about the topic of obesity two causes of obesity well one would be a bad diet the other would be lack of exercise so that will be our first paragraph we're gonna right about bad diet and lack of exercise and in paragraph 2 where we get into the solutions we're going to say that the opposite or the solution to a bad diet is healthy eating the solution to a lack of exercise is a healthy lifestyle what I want you to do first I want you to just think of the causes of traffic congestion illiteracy air pollution and homelessness please type into the chat what are two causes for each of these I'm gonna give you a couple of minutes to do this because you do need to think about this what are two causes of traffic congestion just very simply in fact let's just do traffic congestion first let's think about traffic congestion what are two causes let me have a look at that chat see what you guys are writing increasing number of vehicles yes good what else because we need more than one we need two poor road infrastructure excellent overpopulation increasing population these are the causes of traffic congestion good lack of public transport good now let's think about the solutions to traffic congestion and there'll be the opposite of the causes so if one is overpopulation a solution would be to what move people out of the city if the cause of traffic congestion is bad public transport the solution would be what improved public transport good or if the cause of traffic congestion is poor infrastructure poor roads and highways what's the solution improving the roads and the highways this is what this essay is all about it's about thinking what causes something or two causes and two solutions your two causes should be similar ok you don't want to write about drastically different things so if you write about poor public transport and poor road infrastructure are the causes and then the two solutions will be improved Road infrastructure and improved public transport you can see how we write this este so in 30 seconds before you start to write your essay you need to have these sorts of ideas you need to think about those two causes and those two solutions whoops just for homework or if you're on YouTube you can pause this and you might want to write two causes and two solutions for each of these but for now let's just move on alright I've looked at that let's look at how to write the introduction we're going to start like with this three sentence introduction and my introduction says this I'm going to show you how to write one like this mine says people are increasingly suffering from sickness as a result of stress or sicknesses rather as a result of stress this essay will discuss the main causes of stress related sicknesses including longer working hours and increased job pressures this essay will also suggest solutions to these problems including improving one's work-life balance and diet this is a good essay a good introduction I'll tell you exactly how to do it in a second but it's totally on topic okay it's totally on topic and that's important how do we write one like this well sentence one we need to rewrite the general statement the general statement from the question prompt said stress-related illnesses are becoming increasingly common so all I did was I rewrote this statement in my own words and I said people are increasingly suffering from sicknesses as a result of stress so this thing here says exactly the same as this thing here but just in different words so let's see if you can write this rewrite this general statement in your own words you have one minute alright let me give a bit of feedback to these people in the webinar nowadays people are suffering in many cut from many kinds of illnesses caused by stress beautiful stress-related problems have become a common problem nowadays good nowadays one word good well done Maria more and more people are becoming sick due to stress related illnesses beautiful nowadays ill sorry nowadays illnesses due to stress are increasingly being witnessed beautiful Ruchi stress-related problems are ubiquitous these days good Richie that's a really nice way to say increasingly common ubiquitous that's a beautiful word good so that's pretty easy all we did was we rewrote this in our own words cool sentence - you'll notice that with this problem solution we've got this essay will this essay will twice because the first one we discuss the second one we suggest first one we discuss the main causes second one we celeste suggests the main solutions so let's write sentence two this is able discuss two main causes so I wrote this because this said stress-related illnesses are becoming increasingly common what do you think are the causes of this this essay will discuss the main causes of stress related sicknesses including longer working hours and increased job pressures cool so we what am I to my to causes longer working hours increased job pressures causing stress related sicknesses so now it's your turn this essay will discuss the two main causes of stress-related illness including what all right let's have a look at some of these answers here two main causes so struggling to obtain a better lifestyle and family related problems excellent that's fine good sri huh says decrease in the work-life balance increasing an average standard of living good that's fine victor job and family pressure great that's fine chandra says dealing with uncertainties and working for long hours good finances good well done Smith the finances and health problems good barber Ali says poor road infrastructure and bad diet habits there a little bit to separate poor road infrastructure and bad diets maybe if you said job stress and bad diets you want to keep your two ideas is kind of related to each other because if you do two quite separate ones it will make the rest of your essay harder so I think job stress and poor diet would be a good choice of two things that are causing our stress excellent sentence three this essay will suggest two main solutions so stress related illnesses are becoming increasingly common what solutions can you suggest well this essay will also suggest solutions to these problems including improving one's work-life balance and diet good so it's pretty simple simple and pretty similar this essay will also suggest plus your two main solutions to your two main problems alright let me have a look at this chat in here good Richie so this essay will also suggest solutions such as a work/life balance and physical exercise yes you've got the problems you've got the solutions you're right on topic well done kudos this essay will suggest two solutions for the problem such as eating a healthy diet and doing physical exercise Goodger Prix in this essay will discuss how we cope with stress by challenging changing the lifestyle and managing work GU Muhammad this essay will discuss two such solutions by keeping the needs limited to your income and spending more time with your family gu excellent that's fine Smitha this essay will also suggest that financial planning and a work-life balance will counter the stress-related illnesses beautiful you can see what you've done here your introduction has laid the pathway for the rest of your essay you've said to the reader a bit of a background statement gives it alright so stress-related problems are becoming a real issue these days the two main causes are you know a bad diet and a lack of exercise the solutions to these problems are of course eating healthier and joining the local gym great I mean you don't have to have profound ideas it's not about that it's just about being logical because what I also examiner's love to see in an essay is a logical structure they love to see that you've actually answered the question which a lot of people don't quite answer it there might be a little bit off topic so by following this structure you really nail the topic which is worth by the way 25 percent so people increasingly suffering from sicknesses as a result of stress causes this essay will discuss the main causes of stress related sicknesses including longer work hours and increased job pressures solutions this essay will also suggest solutions to these problems including improving one's work-life balance and diet beautiful now we're on to paragraph 1 let's do this so we want to again go back to those causes that we mentioned in the introduction so here we mention the two main causes now we're we're we're we're right we're mentioning them again using different language then we're going to give a reason give some examples and then we're going to conclude and I'll show you what this looks like paragraph 1 people are working longer hours than ever before in addition they have more job pressures people place themselves under these favorable conditions because the workforce is a competitive domain for example some people aspire to climb the corporate ladder to gain high status and a high paying job this often results in mental and physical suffering because they have to work overtime and take on additional roles which can be stressful all related to the topic all linked to my introduction what do we do sentence 1 introduce both those causes again you're not really introducing sorry let me change this it's not really it's not really introducing it it's it's mention it's mention mention both causes again my apologies I think that's a better way to describe mention both causes again so stress-related illnesses are becoming increasingly common what do you think are the causes and then my first sentence of paragraph 1 says people are working longer hours than ever before there's my work-life balance thing and the job pressures good I think I've missed one but anyway you can probably write a better one mention both causes again in different words mention all right let me have a look at these uh chat here good do okay and here we go Smith up people struggle to struggle hard to earn more money and along with this they also strive hard to maintain good health beautiful struggling with money struggling with health excellent and it looks like you've used different words from this from the causes you put in your introduction which is good you're saying the same thing but in different words excellent so it means you're staying on topic and you're also telling the examiner that you've got a good range of vocabulary and grammar Prasanna stress caused by money problems and bad health are prominent beautiful short succinct simple well done Maria being deprived of sleep as well as being unable to take a break from work leads to a higher chance of compromising an individual's immune system good that's a complex sentence that's good well done you've got your two causes again embedded in there excellent so what's next now we need to give reasons for those causes and this is kind of hard let me explain to you what I mean here because what the key to this one is to ask yourself why so here's the prompt again always look back to the prompt stress-related illnesses are becoming increasingly common what do you think of the causes well I said people are working longer hours than ever before and I've written two sentences I can write just one but I've written two in addition they have more pressures why why because the Isles asks you to give reasons and the way that you give a reason is to ask why okay so why why are people working longer hours and having greater job pressures well this is what I wrote I said people placed themselves under these unfavorable conditions because the work force is a competitive domain that's the reason why people are working longer hours and they have more job pressures because the workforce this is my reason why because the workforce is a competitive domain cool so give reasons and ask yourself why or reason singular one or two that's okay all right let me check some of these answers here reasons why why why dealing with difficulties in managing finances can be challenging especially due to the increase in cost of living beautiful well done now Smitha kudos people just pick up whatever they can to eat to save time and they don't go for physical activities excellent well done reasons why I knew in this competitive area working under stressful environment has become mandatory mandatory for survival good Tundra people are not having people do not have awareness of what they are eating good that's the reason why baby Ellie do to maintain good cultural status people and working more hours in order to maintain a high cultural status people are working more hours that's the reason why excellent cool now we need to give some examples okay give examples let me tell you what I am did I'm gonna read mine from beginning to end so people are working longer hours than ever before in addition they have more job pressures why people place themselves under these unfavorable conditions because the workforce is a competitive domain give me an example for example some people aspire to climb the corporate ladder to gain high status and a high paying job so now what we're doing with this one is we're giving an example or two examples if you want let's have a look at some of these examples what have we got people wish to excel in their professional career and working hard to earn more money good ok fine it means Mike Smith that many people go through all the stress to earn more in order to maintain the needs of the family good oh no for example people work longer hours either do two jobs demand or to gain better career in the future excellent victor to illustrate companies jobs are more demanding and require more extra time to perform a task meaning that people have to use their free time as well good excellent example well done one more let's do cou DOS researchers have found good okay fine you're bringing in some research that's ok researchers have found that people in the USA and the UK have in are involved in more in stress because eating junk food because they lack let me just say this research suggests that people in the UK in the USA have more stressful lifestyles because they eat more junk food and do less exercise there you go that's how to do that one cool well done we've just got weight we've got one more sentence because we need to wrap up this paragraph we need to wrap up this paragraph we want to write a concluding sort of sentence here that pulls it all together we want to pull this paragraph together and in order to do that we need a concluding sentence which links it back so let's look at this one here I'm going to read from the beginning people are working longer hours than ever before my second sentence here in addition they have more job pressures so they're my two causes then I'm going to give a reason why people place themselves under these unfavourable conditions because the work force is a competitive domain for example some people aspire to climb the corporate ladder to gain high status and a high paying job now I want to conclude and wrap this all up this often results in mental and physical suffering because they have to work overtime and take on additional roles which can be stressful good so remember to always bring it back to the question prompt bring it back to the question prompt so this final sentence will bring it back to the question prompt here so I talked about mental and physical suffering and here it's talking about stress related illnesses okay so pull yours back to the question prompts conclude your causes by bringing it back all right let's have a look at some of these answers here so bring it back bring it back good kudos this often leads some mental disorders and heart related disease it's good i if that was what you wrote in your introduction about mental disorders and heart related diseases they sound like the may be the causes let's see Richie's regular overtime and corporate pressure lead to mental and physical agony good I think agony is probably not the right synonym I would say distress fit mental and physical distress because it's also linked right back to that question prompt about stress-related illnesses so agony is probably not the Krait white the right word there achieve it that's fine so Vaibhav the outcome of the above-mentioned causes is emotional and physical damage which affects health of the individual good Prasanna this results in stress due to bad economic planning and poor maintenance of health good results in stress nice concluding sentence bringing it back to the question prompt well done we're gonna do this one more time this time we're going to do it with the solutions though but before we do that let's just recap what we did here I mention the causes people are working hard at longer hours than ever before job pressures I gave the reason I gave an example and then I did a concluding sentence to tie the paragraph back up make it logical and also to link it back up to that question prompt beautiful right now we're gonna write paragraph two usually we don't but this time we have two because we're gonna write about the solutions it's almost identical to paragraph one paragraph two but this time instead of talking about the causes we're going to talk about the solutions cool let's have a look I'm gonna read your mind and then we're gonna break it down and do it sentence my sentence maintaining a good work-life balance and improving one's diet are both critical to mitigating stress-related illnesses reasons people need to realize that if they live only for work they will suffer either mentally or physically and a poor diet will further exacerbate these issues examples for example many employees burnout from working too much and neglecting family friends exercise and hobbies as well as the foods they eat concluding sentence that ties it all together therefore in order to reduce work work-related stress sorry I missed something here work-related stress I think it should say in order to reduce work-related stress one must include a better ratio of work rest recreation and dietary sustenance let's do this sentence by sentence so introduce your solutions again here are mine maintaining a good work-life balance and improving one's diet there my solutions now I want you to write yours remember your solutions must match to your causes all right let's have a look at these answers here from you guys in order to eradicate stress-related problems physical exercise and work-life balance is important beautiful okay so we can see now it's funny it's like you mention these bad things like financial stress and health problems and dietary issues and then you say okay here are the solutions you're the solutions you've nailed the two causes now you're nailing the two solutions and we've got a beautiful essay appearing paper Ellie people should maintain a good lifestyle to reduce their stress that's one solution I hope you've got another one coming mariya getting as much as seven hours of sleep and unwinding from work means that you are helping yourself cope with the stresses in life good so sleep and unwinding excellent fell above maintaining an optimum work-life balance one an appropriate dietary habits to will result in overcoming stress-related issues fantastic Prasanna regular exercise and taking help about budget receiving advice about your finances there's your second one Suresh in the modern competitive world balancing between haha okay that one's a bit off go pre it maintaining good dismembered offering solutions to the problem solutions to the problems cool let's push on sentence two like we did in paragraph one give reasons let's look at this again again you need to ask yourself why when if you give a reason ask yourself why so stress related illnesses are becoming increasingly common what solutions can you suggest and I said maintaining a good work-life balance improving one's diet are both critical to mitigating stress-related illnesses why well I said people need to realize that if they live only for work they will suffer either mentally or physically and a poor diet will further exacerbate these issues so give reasons or a reason or reasons for your first sentence whoopsie sorry all right let's look at these answers Rhea unbalanced work-life might bring depression in daily life guru good reason an unbalanced work-life might bring depression in daily life depression or yet stress-related depression you could probably link it a little bit more to stress-related although depression stress definitely very related well done Ruchi people should focus on their this is a reason why why Ricci people should focus on their health along with their work because if they are not healthy it will impact their personal as well as professional life good well done Smitha having enough money and good health a crucial for leading a happy life good well done that's a good reason why kudos it's obvious that good and balanced diet will make and control their stress hormones and physical activities will keep them fit and give them a chance to release their stress good reasons are important well done well done oops where am i Here I am excellent give some examples so what are my examples so I I I mentioned my two suggestions my solutions rather I mentioned my two solutions of maintaining a good work-life balance and improving one's diet ok fine and then I say why well people need to realize bla bla bla bla then I give an example for example many employees burnout from working too much and neglecting family friends exercise and hobbies as well as the foods they eat cool so now you can give some examples for your reasons by the way if you're on YouTube I would appreciate it very much li if you clicked like and feel free to leave a comment and do subscribe so you can get these videos when we produce them all right let's have a look at this chat here we're gonna get some examples exemple Chandra Mohan the junk food intake and not managing time to to take rest will lead to high stress good you could it's always good to just say for example or for instance why because the IELTS examiner's very quickly read your essays and when they see these key words at least they know that you've given examples it's just embedded in there as a sentence it might get overlooked Ruchi for example stress often leads to frustration and people start neglecting their families good example or don't kudos for instance there's been found according to a study that having eating a balanced diet reduces your stress hormones and physical activities such as swimming and walking make you relaxed excellent so you've used a fake study but that's fine this isn't about you know having good references or telling the truth even it's just it's just a writing task to test your writing so 99% of people know that exercising and eating leafy greens will improve your stress related illnesses for example cool so we've given some examples excellent now we need to conclude this is the final step we conclude by writing one of these sentences that makes the whole paragraph logical and this links back to here right let's have a look at my concluding sentence I said therefore in order to reduce work-related this is the mistake I made before work-related stress in order to reduce work-related stress one must include a better ratio of work rest recreation and dietary sustenance it's always this is a nice little to conclude with therefore or you can say in summary that's also a nice way to bring a concluding sentence in summary or yeah those two are probably best so see how you go writing your concluding sentence you conclude your solutions all right let me have a look at this chat so nice concluding sentence that wraps up your paragraph here we go therefore people should consider their diet properly good that's just one solution so favorite le I hope you've mentioned more than one solution so people should consider their diet and their physical exercise regimes carefully good Ruchi therefore to maintain good a good stress-free life one should have a healthy diet and exercise on a regular basis beautiful you can see how that final sentence of the paragraph really just pulls it all together and makes it coherent it's a really nice thing to do that final sentence it's important if you just finish after your examples it's not ideal it's not a coherent paragraph you want to make it coherent oh no to recapitulate it is essential to have a balance between work and diet so as to cope with stress beautiful persona thus if it lasts is a good one by the way that's fine and so is to recapitulate thus physical fitness and well-planned finances are key to a stress-free life excellent that really ties back to the question prompt about stress-related illnesses what are the solutions good excellent well done that's looking good that's looking good so this was my paragraph to wear first of all I mentioned the two solutions then I give a reason then I give an example then I give a sort of concluding sentence and I've written a very logical s paragraph that links back to that question prompt it's spot-on cool let's think about how to write the conclusion and as we saw at the beginning the conclusion is exactly the same as the introduction all that changes is instead of saying we'll discuss and we'll suggest you say this essay discussed this essay suggested because in this paragraph in the introduction you tell the reader what you will tell them here you tell them and then here you tell the reader what you told them again that makes that logical beautiful essay structure here's my conclusion I'll read it to you then we'll break it down sentence by sentence in conclusion in today's fast-paced world more and more people are becoming ill as a result of stress this essay discussed how stress is often caused by long working hours and intense workplace pressure this essay also suggested that the solutions to this problem are twofold I've forgotten to put my diet thing in here hmm would I get an IELTS nine because I've forgotten to mention diet in this conclusion it should be long working hours and poor diet so let's see if I can fix this now this essay also suggested that the solutions to this problem of stress are twofold to manage a better work-life balance and to eat a healthier diet so I've made a little error here I've forgotten to mention diet but that's probably not too bad let's work out how to write it sentence one rewrite the general statement in your own words this is the general statement from the question prompt it says stress-related illnesses are becoming increasingly common I rewrote this to say in today's fast-paced world more and more people are becoming ill as a result of stress these to say the same thing but in different words and this says the same thing as my introductory sentence the first sentence of my introduction but just in different words so rewrite that general statement in different words all right what if we go okay Oh No in conclusion stress-related problems are burgeoning in this epoch yeah not in this era would be would be more epochs a little bit different not quite precise in this era good that's better Chandra in summary stress remains the main cause for regular sickness no that's not what the question prompt says it says that it's increasing becoming more yes make sure you rewrite it to mean the same thing okay in conclusion people are more exposed to stress and mental disorders not yet there kudos Faber in conclusion in today's competitive world people are suffering from illnesses due to stress good well done Ruchi to recapitulate these days stress-related problems are quite evident excellent Gurpreet to sum up there is a growing number of people suffering from stress-related problems well done we've just rewritten that one that's pretty straightforward now what do we do for sentence to this essay discussed two main causes so mine says this essay discussed how stress is often caused by long working hours and now I made the mistake of forgetting what my what my one was and I said poor diet so these were my two because this should reflect my conclusion should reflect my introduction and in my introduction I mentioned poor diet so this essay discussed how stress is often caused by long working hours and a poor diet good they're the causes they're the causes that I mentioned my two causes go back and start this sentence this essay discussed mention your two causes again good kudos this essay discussed what causes stress which is an unhealthy diet and a lack of physical exercise good by the way you've chosen two simple ones and that makes your life easier choose whatever is simplest well done Richie this essay discussed how stress is caused due to poor food habits and immense work pressure excellent - Val barf this essay discussed the effects of prolonged working habit and an unbalanced diet which leads to stress beautiful you've mentioned your two causes again you can probably imagine what's going to come next in the next sentence if we mention the causes then we're going to mention the solution so let's work out how to do this one here this essay suggested two main solutions so what did I write I wrote this essay also suggested that the solutions to this problem are twofold to manage a bit of work-life balance remember that this was mentioned in paragraph two as well and to eat a healthier diet good so rewrite your two suggestions your two main suggestions all right let's look so Chandra not we also have suggested you could say just this essay this essay not I not where this essay this essay has suggested that to eliminate stress people need a balanced diet in to manage time to have to sleep well good go pre to deal with stress-related problems one should take care of oneself take care of the working habits and their diet good remember this is the final sentence of the essay so it really needs to have a bit of flair it needs to be a nice sentence that really just brings it all together Prasanna this essay suggested that financial planning and maintaining good health counter these problems powerful well done Richie this essay suggested two important solutions including a balanced diet and a good work-life balance excellent very clear Riya this essay suggested that the solutions to these problems are to balance work life and to maintain a healthy habit healthy eating habit may be kudos also this essay suggested two main solutions that can be that can alleviate stress which are healthier and balanced diet and exercise fine Vaibhav this essay also discussed the solutions to stress which are to maintain an optimum work-life balance and to inculcate healthy dietary habits good well done we have now just written our essay I won't go through that now essay is complete our essay is complete well done now that's what it's going to look like on test day ok you want to separate your paragraphs like this you've distinctly got four paragraphs haven't you you got an introduction you've got two body paragraphs and you've got a conclusion down here here's your intro p1 p2 and your conclusion fine how many words where you should really should count because you must write over 250 or you will be penalized so if you noticed carefully you'll see that well this was three sentences this was for this was four and this was three you can see that the introduction is a bit skinnier than the body paragraphs these are quite quite quite fat and that's good because you want to push it above 250 words right so make sure when you're practicing that you're writing above 250 so minus 262 why is this an IELTS 9 well I did make a little mistake I wonder if they would see that well importantly what I've done is I've written on topic ok this structure that I've just shown you basically you cannot write off topic if you use this structure by rewriting the general statement by introducing the court mentioning the causes and the solutions the reasons the examples the conclusion it all points directly to the question prompt you're never deviating and this is really important this is worth 25% of your mark you have written on topic every sentence has a purpose that's really critical the other thing I have done and this depends on your language skills in here I've used precise vocabulary so somebody before use the word epoch instead of era and that's an imprecise use of the word epoch so when you're choosing vocabulary choose words that you're confident you know it's better to use a simple word that's precise rather than a complex word that's imprecise go for simplicity any day of the week right but yes the other thing that we've done here for vocabulary is because we have rewritten the question prompt twice and we've mentioned our causes and solutions in various ways it's forced us to use different synonyms it's forced us to use a variety of vocabulary and that's a good thing I don't know if you can see mine but I've used a number of phrases in mine as well I won't get into these maybe I'll just have a look at a few ones like workplace pressure work-life balance you suffer from diseases for examples that's a good verb to use here's a phrase burnout employees burnout so you can see that it's not just single words but I've used cup word combinations accurate grammar well if I look here somebody mentioned something about verb tenses before I've used a variety of verb tenses I've said this si will discuss future that I've said people are working present progressive Ivy's present simple people placed themselves I've used a variety of different verb tenses and then in the conclusion I said this si discussed and suggested I've used the past tense so in fact I've probably got six different verbs in there I haven't just used verbs to just show off I've used I've specifically chosen the right verb to do the right job that's what it's all about but just because this si structured so well you end up using different verb tenses anyway apart from that the grammar is good the sentence structures short some short sentences some complex lastly I've used a logical structure so what does that mean well all of my my paragraphs connect to the next one like this and I can see that my conclusion connects back to my introduction even with in the paragraph itself how I go from a sort of introductory sentence to the reason to the example to the concluding sentence you can see that there's an inherent logic even in the paragraphs themselves so we've got an overall logic of the essay and then within the paragraph itself there is logic this my friends is how you get to or towards an IELTS nine this requires practice it requires feedback and maybe even a tutorial what I mean by that is one of the things we do at e to language come by the way which you can check out is we give you feedback on your writing so you you learn how to write these essays you submit them through the website our expert teachers get your essays and give you feedback on them the other thing we do is we actually offer one-on-one tutorials like this with experts so you submit your essay then the teacher sits down with you and says okay let's look at your essay sentence by sentence and gives you verbal feedback corrective feedback in the moment in real time on how to improve your writing so if you need any of that help do check out this website here go to WWE to language and go comm check out that website it will certainly help you while we're at it if you're on YouTube and you've gotten this far please click like click subscribe and do leave lovely comment by enjoying lovely comments but for now I'm going to go to the chats for the paid members by the way Prasanna je mi to give examples of both the causes ends in the solutions don't worry too much about how you connect that example to the causes and the solutions what's more important is that you is that you use that phrase for example and it leads on from your reasons basically the IELTS examiner's are scan reading your essays and if they see that they you've used examples that's probably good enough so that's fine that's fine good question Ritchie good I'm glad that helped oh no can we have access to the IELTS webinars like we have for Pte yes they should be in your platform there should be in your platform any other questions any other questions cool I think that's all I'm totally exhausted I'm going home to bed and yes I might sleep for about three weeks thank you very much for coming I hope it was helpful I think it is helpful doing it sentence by sentence is great as I said on test a if you if you forget the structure a little bit that's okay but if you've done the practice you'll start to realize that the visit there's a bit of a formula here I know there are five different essay types and we've looked at five slightly different structures but what you'll find on on test day if you've struck if you've practiced this you'll sit down and you'll see that question prompt and you're going yes I know what to do I'm gonna rewrite that general statement ball yes I can see side one I'm gonna rewrite that and you might not memorize the structure come entirely but you will have a very good idea of how to construct your introduction your paragraphs and your conclusion all right bid you farewell see you soon you

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Id: Md6qCsl3Yds

Length: 69min 50sec (4190 seconds)

Published: Wed Jul 19 2017