IELTS Live - Task 1 Writing - Bar Graph Band 9

hi students and welcome to today's live ielts class my name is adrian and i'm streaming to you from beautiful victoria here on the west coast of canada i hope everybody has had a great week and is looking forward to a fantastic weekend or having a great weekend for those of you who are in countries where the weekend starts on friday welcome nisa i'm glad you're in your second class with us that's great uh feeling world with a freed monika welcome students in this class we're looking at ielts task 1 writing for the academic ielts and we're looking at a band 9 essay with a new bar chart while we wait for some more of your peers this lesson is presented to you by ae help.com that's academicenglishhelp.com for the general ielts and to see videos on task one writing for the general ielts uh check us out at g ieltshelp.com which is specifically for the general ielts exam so while we wait for a few more of your peers let's take a quick look at our websites this is our academic ielts website here with the blue background you can click this big red button to join our premium package we are a british council ielts registration center and certified agents for the general ielts it's the green background here at geodeshelp.com again click that big red button to join our premium package it's a one-time payment for lifetime access or at least until you finish the ielts exam and then if you'd like to use it further you can all right welcome gliding waves pavan akshay good to see many members in this class carolina welcome to our moderator as well uh students if you have questions you can ask by sending an email to adrian at ae help dot com let's uh get into our task one question here just before we do that so uh tomorrow we will have a question and answer session of four members and we will have a speaking part three for everyone as well today's question was sent by one of our longtime students and member as well kyber and i see kyber is in the class so that's great this is the question here for today let's take a look so first things first when you get to the writing section read the question really carefully so ielts task one writing you should spend about 20 minutes on this task the graph below shows information on employment rates okay it means the percentage of people working all right employment rates across six different countries in 1995 and 2005 so comparing uh two years 10 years apart right so 95 to 2005 is 10 years difference for men and women so report the main features and make comparisons where relevant okay you've read the question your next step is to look at the graph just look at it and start to observe the information that you have to write on okay so here we have our bar chart and i had to enlarge this a bit so some of the text might not be perfectly clear but that's okay uh it will make sense so on our y-axis okay it's our perpendicular axis or our vertical axis we have zero percent at the bottom and we have 90 percent at the top and then we have intervals of 10 percent uh we don't really need to report on that because that's a very standard kind of axis with the percents okay this bar chart could could easily be many pie charts as well but i think the reason why ielts didn't do pie charts is because we have six countries here so they didn't want to do maybe the six pie charts i don't know but anyway it's zero percent to ninety percent for the employment rate okay so the percentage of um people assumingly adults working in these countries and then on the x-axis which is the horizontal axis okay we have the countries so we have australia switzerland iceland uk new zealand and the usa okay and then of course we have the four colored bars for each of these countries so the blue bar represents males in 1995. next to the blue bar you have the red bar which represents males in 2005 okay so just keep that in mind that this is what you have here are the males so the men who are employed and then the green bar is uh showing females in 1995 and then 2005 the purple bar for females okay so you have uh this one and this one being females so women who are employed in these countries all right so firstly what i want to recognize here looks like there's a lot of information and there certainly is quite a bit of information so right away i want to realize that okay i can't just write about all of this um there's no way that i can uh write about all this information here that would be too too difficult and it would be a lot of information so i have to be selective right and i have three main variables here okay uh what are the three variables everyone so what are the three variables that i will be reporting on here so i have three variables or i should say i have three independent variables okay so three independent variables i do have one dependent variable which is the uh the percents so i have three independent variables what are they okay in this yeah very good june so june says the three independent variables are year country and gender exactly right so i have to figure out which one i'm going to write about first second and third but before we get there okay so the percentage akshay that's going to be my dependent variable so my independent variables are year country and gender okay all right so before i get there my first step is to write a short introduction and the introduction here is nothing more than a paraphrase of the question with some details so we've looked at the graph we can do that now so all i want to do is paraphrase this for the introduction it's the start to my task one meaning that i want to use my own words and i want to give a little bit more information wherever i can to my reader okay so let's do that now all right i'm going to write it you write it and then we'll compare all right so uh this is what i've done here so instead of simply writing the graph below all right i've written the bar graph so hikmatillo when you say the given graph depicts you're doing a bit of paraphrasing but you're just repeating this we don't need to say given we don't need to say below that's obvious so just simply the bar graph illustrates or the bar graph depicts okay data on men and women okay in the workforce in six countries australia new zealand america switzerland iceland and the uk in the years 1995 and a decade later in 2005 so i'm right away telling my reader that i recognize that here we're looking at change um at the passing of 10 years so at one point and then 10 years later okay all right uh janelle says the vertical bar graph depicts the percentage of both men and women employed in australia new zealand switzerland the usa and the uk in both 1995 and a decade later in 2005. okay i like it jainal i don't know if it's worth saying vertical bar graph kyber says this bar graph provides information about males and females who are currently employed in six nations australia switzerland iceland uk new zealand and the united states in 95 and 2005 kyber you have two big mistakes there one saying that they're currently employers currently uh no it's in the past 1995 and 2005 and employees are people who have jobs employers are the people giving jobs so that would be considered a critical coherence mistake and that would really drop your score so careful with those kinds of coherence mistakes okay all right june writes this bar chart depicts the rates of employment throughout six countries australia new zealand the us switzerland iceland and the uk in the years 1995 and 2005 respectively all right june that works lily writes the bar chart illustrates the information on employment rates among men and women in six different countries in 1995 and 2005. not bad lily okay you've got a little bit of added information you can put a little bit more in there it will be better all right so that is the introduction and then now comes the overview for the ielts write the overview as a separate paragraph okay in university don't write the overview as part of your introduction and the overview is your main feature so when the question says report the main features the main features are kind of the overview so what do you notice right away what's the most prominent or obvious information and you should see that without looking for too long or at too many details you should see the overview just by really kind of pictographically looking at the image so observing just the image okay all right um so you do have to be logical here you do have to be uh critical the way that you analyze the information and that's what you're doing right now is analyzing the information is going to impact your writing it's going to impact your score right so what we're looking for here are the differences between years okay so the change from 1995 uh to 2005. the difference between men and women so the change between males and females and of course the difference between countries okay so country one country two three four five all right okay um so overall uh what can we see what are the greatest differences so what what do we notice here um from 1995 to 2005 in these employment rates okay uh among uh men and women what's what are the kind of the the general trends okay so let's see what you come up with name some of the most observable visible differences okay so what do we notice okay okay ali says the least change is in female workers in iceland i don't know if that's the main feature okay let's let's see if we can get some consensus let's see what are going to be the most popular kind of responses i'm very curious about this okay uh konica you do not have to give the headings like introduction overview just write the paragraph that's going to be clear okay okay so amarjeet says employment increased um you mean between the years right so there's an increase here there's an increase here increase here increase here so uh what you're basically saying is that there is uh between the 1995 and 2005 both men more men and women worked regardless of country yeah i think that's a clever one okay yeah so nick hill says this overall it is evident that both men and women are more employed across any given country in 2005 than in 1995 and males are more employed in iceland as compared to others males are basically more employed than females again regardless of country right and there are differences in employment rates in depending on the country so i think that is um what we observe here as well right so let me just kind of draw these lines here okay so those are the other observed so the main feature clearly is that there is an increase of employment rates regardless of gender from 1995 to 2005 and generally speaking a greater percentage of men are employed than women in any of these countries does that make sense does everybody see those main features okay you shouldn't be digressing into the country level at this point okay there's a fair bit of employment each country is a little bit different in their ratios all countries have a lot of employment or high employment rates of men and women but those are the main differences okay everybody sees that good all right so let's write about that okay so and then we can get into uh countries okay so then we can get into the specifics of countries so it makes sense to look at the years look at the genders and then look at the countries themselves okay you have to have good strategy here otherwise it's easy to get lost it's easy to write in a confusing way okay all right so here's my overview describing those two points so upon uh initial inspection so first observation okay upon initial inspection it becomes evident that employment rates are higher in 2005 than in 1995 and a greater percent of men than women are employed in each given year irrespective of the country okay all right and then if i want to take it one step further i can say each country does show a unique proportion of employment in comparison to others in this data set so basically what i'm saying is that this kind of pattern here where we have quite a big difference between men and women in australia is unique when comparing it to switzerland which has a much more balanced proportion of employment rates between men and women in these years and then we have countries that are kind of in between we have countries that have higher overall proportions of employment we have countries that have lower overall proportion of employment we have some countries like new zealand and australia that are similar we could write a really long essay comparing all of the different patterns between countries but we're not going to do that we're going to just take some of the main comparisons similarities contrasts um when we get to that point of analysis okay all right so yeah coot is saying good question at savage mitchum let's see what savage mitchen is asking um savage mitchen is asking what happens if we will use the past tense for these sentences savage that's a very common question whenever you're referring to the time so for example men employed in 1995 i'm going to use the past tense because i'm referring to that year and the employment in that year so it's men employed past tense in 1995 or women employed in because again that's in the past however if i'm referring to the graph which is current and i'm looking at it now and this graph is going to be the same tomorrow as it was yesterday then i'm using present tense like the graph shows that men were employed right but the graph shows its present tense because it's showing that to mean right now so whenever you're referring to the graph it's present tense when you're referring to the data itself especially of course when the data is in the past then you're using the past tense okay hopefully that makes more sense all right okay ali writes at first sight at first glance ali at first glance okay not sight at first glance it is apparent that more men are employed than women and the employment rates are higher in 2005 than 1995. yeah very good okay uh hung one says if the years aren't included do we use present perfect tense yeah present perfect you can use uh in that case uh hung and definitely using present tense in that case because it's general the data okay all right socioedu says overall what stands out from the bar graph is that men are higher than women in all countries to work between 95 and 2005. um socioedu saying men are higher than women isn't clear you need more words there to create clarity okay all right okay uh so here we have my introduction my overview and the nice thing about the overview is it is basically your thesis okay so um we're saying that basically uh employment rates are higher in 2005 than in 1995 so now we want to discuss that further okay so we want to explain what that means that between 1995 and 2005 employment rates are higher okay so we can see here just take the first one for example that you have 55 roughly of men employed in 1995 and then you have closer to 70. so it's a difference of about 14 here okay um you have roughly the same difference here about 14 so what i'm looking at now is the change between 1995 employment rates and uh 2005 employment rates the difference here in switzerland is almost the same as in australia and the difference here in iceland is roughly the same as well and here again we see similar kinds of differences so there is a slight uh difference in some of these countries but they're very very close if we did the statistics on this the standard deviation would be extremely low in this case so um we can uh just kind of imply that the change between 1995 and 2005 um irrespective of countries so in all six of these countries and irrespective of gender so whether it's male or female is anywhere from about 12 to the most extreme case maybe here 18 percent so we can simply say it's about 15 okay about roughly on average it's 15 okay you do not have to break it down into exact percentages for each country so that would be my point number one okay all right and then my point number two is going to be the difference so this is my point one my point two is going to be the difference between uh men and women and we'll do that in just a moment so first let's write this sentence okay which is the deeper inspection okay angel those are some pretty solid scores by the way congratulations i saw you commenting on your results okay all right so let's start the analysis this is the main body paragraph of your essay this is where you get into uh the sentence by sentence composition okay okay so that would be my first sentence there when looking deeper into the data it is clear that the rate of employment across these six countries increased by roughly on average fifteen percent in two thousand five um regardless of gender okay let me make this read a little bit more smoothly there that's better punctuation all right uh mary says in body paragraph we can explain first three countries in the body paragraph the two other remaining mary i wouldn't do that i think that would be very confusing and it wouldn't really create a lot of clarity so your analysis has to be good um doesn't really make much sense of body paragraph one and two like why would you why would you explain the first three countries in the next three countries that doesn't follow any kind of logical pattern according to the data itself okay feeling world with afrid what do i mean by 15 percent um it's exactly what i was showing here okay so this is men in uh so the blue one is men in 1995 read as men in 2005. this is roughly a difference of 15 percent here again between women in australia between those two years it's roughly 15 percent and we see the same roughly 15 percent on average okay in some countries it's a little bit more maybe 18 and in some countries for from some genders it's maybe a little bit less like here it's 12. but on average it's about 15 increase in uh these two years does everybody see that okay okay kiza sandy says uh in the data it is considered that the increment on average of 15 percent in overall countries is similar increment gap that's really confusing you have to rewrite that okay the pica says digressing into the data it is evident that the rate of increase in employment across all given countries is almost 15 percent irrespective of gender in 2005. make sure depica that you make it clear for your reader that you're comparing the years in this case okay kyber the phrase upon initial inspection so initial means start or first okay inspection means to observe or to analyze and upon meaning analyzing uh at the beginning okay all right okay so now that we've looked at the years and we've made it very clear for the reader what we see with the years and now we want to look at the comparison of uh men and women so how many men are employed and how many women are employed okay so we can't write about all of these you'd end up with too much information if you try to write about all of the specific data comparisons with a bar graph like this you will run out of time and you will write way too many words okay so you have to be selective all right and here again this is why it's so important that your overview is accurate because your overview will help you to be specific so here we said the difference between 2005 and 95 we just wrote that in more detail and now we said a greater percentage of men than women are employed in each given year okay so here is where we can kind of look at the most and the least so where do we see the greatest difference of employment between genders so between men and women okay i would say that the greatest difference you might have to do a little bit of math here so uh at first glance it's looking to me like it's australia and uh maybe new zealand okay so you only want to compare between the years here okay so here you have men at 55. uh here you have women at around 27. so it's roughly almost a difference of 30 percent okay and then here you have men at close to 70. you have about 69 and then you have women at about 39. so again it's about a 30 percent difference here here with iceland you have 71 and you have about 41 so again it's a difference of about 30 this is why i said you might want to look a little bit closer here 30 percent and then here you have about 52 and you have about 78 so again you have 20 something about 26 let's say okay so australia and iceland roughly the same australia maybe a little bit more and then new zealand you have something similar so new zealand you have 60 percent here and you have actually 25 here so even a greater gap here of about 35 percent in 1995 and then um you have about 41 here and maybe 71 percent here so it's again another 30 percent okay so clearly the difference between men and women employed in these given years uh the biggest difference or the biggest gap between the genders are in these three countries australia iceland and new zealand does everybody see that so does everybody see that comparison where roughly the gap is about 30 percent on average does everybody see that so far so good and then by doing that you can also observe that switzerland uk and the usa are a little bit more balanced the gap between employment for genders is much closer in those three so we can kind of say that the employment gap based on gender is similar for australia iceland new zealand and the employment gap is similar between men and women in switzerland the uk and the usa okay so again you're looking you have to be clever academic ielts is testing your thinking not just your english you have to kind of recognize this pattern does everybody see that pattern if you do that's great if you don't you're going to be stuck writing some very detailed information that will be a little bit more difficult to disseminate to make sense of okay all right so um i'm going to report this now so men and women and then i can get into some more specifics okay all right so the range is 25 to 35 percent difference okay right and again you have to look at these peaks to see those differences so you do have to observe the data okay all right let's write that okay all right so this is the start of my analysis when looking deeper into the data it is clear that the rate of employment across these six countries increased by roughly an average of 15 percent in 2005 regardless of gender also the greatest gap in employment between genders can be observed now here notice how i'm using present tense can be observed it's present tense in the passive voice and the reason i'm doing that is because we're looking at the graph so also the greatest gap in employment between genders can be observed in australia new zealand and iceland whereby 25 to 35 of uh more men are working than uh women okay so also the greatest gap in employment between genders can be observed in australia new zealand iceland whereby 25 to 35 percent more men are working than women all right um the remaining three countries which are usa uk and switzerland show a much smaller gender gap in employment rates roughly an average of and let's take a look at that average so uh here in uh switzerland uh we have about well maybe 10 percent 10 okay you don't have to be perfectly accurate the ielts examiners aren't going to be looking at oh did they get like 9 or is it 10 so as long as you're roughly accurate okay so again i can observe here that it's roughly about 66 versus yeah about 57 56 here i have about 78 here i have about 68 and i have kind of similar here so it's only about 10 percent so quite a bit less than that 25 to 30. okay so switzerland show a much smaller gender gap in employment rates roughly an average of 10 percent okay and that's it all right so the remaining three countries the us the uk and switzerland show a much smaller gender gap in employment rates roughly an average of 10 okay so now i've explained my main features uh to my reader in more detail okay and what i want to do at this point is now i want to look at the countries okay so all right this is where i have to check myself i have to check to see how much uh time i have obviously i won't be able to report on each country compared to each other country because that would turn into like a 2000 word essay at least so i'm gonna kind of look at the most and least the biggest most observable and the least okay and the most for sure is iceland okay it's got the highest peak and iceland has this big difference as well and i might compare that to maybe switzerland which is also very high but has a much smaller gap okay and then if i really want to digress because i have more time i might do something like a comparison of the least employment here is australia see we have the lowest peak it's under 70 percent okay and you can do a comparison here if you're being quick and clever to iceland and then you can also do a comparison to the usa where the gaps are smaller okay and it's got a lower peak as well all right so iceland is kind of our interesting connecting point because it's got the highest peak and the biggest difference okay australia has got the lowest peaks and also big differences so i'm going to start with iceland give a little bit of description here okay and then move towards these now here i'm going to be careful i'm going to pay attention to my time i want to leave a few minutes to review my writing rather than going into a lot of detail and writing a ton of words i've made that mistake in the official ielts exam okay all right so let's do that so let's digress a little bit into switzerland so that our reader gets further insight into this analysis this interpretation again high band essays don't just report the data but they interpret the data okay all right so do this with me and i'll keep looking up at the chat and see what you're writing let you know if you're on the right path or not okay so depica writes australia and new zealand have approximately double the rate of working men than women in 1995 and 2005. iceland also shows a gender gap but a little more than twice okay depica you have good ideas but i don't think your information is uh exactly accurate so be careful le payon says how about the biggest variance between these years in new zealand the increment of female employment is much higher than males yeah le pay that's okay but make sure that you don't get lost in just that because obviously this bar chart is showing much much more than that right so here you might choose to do this as a separate paragraph or you might just link it it doesn't matter too much okay so as long as you have your overview uh sorry your introduction your overview your analysis and maybe a summary if you're really going for that band nine okay all right so here i'm going to say so iceland having the highest percentage of employed men with um over 70 and over 80 percent in 2000 or 1995 and 2005 respectively okay while australia has the lowest percent of employment with under uh 60 and under 70 in the same years for men right okay so i'm comparing uh just that just the unique patterns okay so each country does show a unique pattern of employment with iceland having the highest percentage of employed men at over 70 and 80 percent in 95 in 2005 respectively this word respectively tells my reader that the 70 and 80 percent are uh directly respective of 95 and 2005 while australia has the lowest employment rates with under 60 and 70 of men working in the same years now i'm not going to write about the women here in these two countries because for academics that should be clear when they think about what i wrote earlier with this 25 to 35 percent gap so they know that relatively these numbers would decrease by 25 to 30 percent for women in these two countries so that's totally fine i don't need to to write about that okay hopefully that makes sense all right now the next one um that i'm going to touch on a little bit is maybe switzerland here because switzerland has also very high uh employment rates comparable to iceland but again the interesting difference is it's a bit more balanced between the genders okay so i'm just going to touch on switzerland here a little bit okay so so uh switzerland uh whereby close to 60 of women are employed in uh 1995 and almost 70 percent of uh women are employed in 2005 okay okay all right so at this point uh if i'm really pushing for that band 9 i might include a summary to summarize the data that i'm looking at here however there's a good chance that i can get a band 9 just with what i have here and if i'm running out of time i certainly will now then move on to task 2 rather than taking more time here okay all right so this is how task one goes when you practice at home and you do a few different graphs and charts and diagrams before your exam you practice in this way you will get quite confident and quite good most people who practice task 1 before their official test tend to find task 1 relatively easy compared to task 2. so task 2 is definitely the more challenging task okay all right so let's take a look at this let's review it all right uh here we go so the graph below shows information on employment rates across six different countries in 1995 in 2005 for men and women report the main features and make comparisons were relevant the bar graph illustrates data on men and women in the workforce in six countries australia new zealand america switzerland iceland and the uk in the years 1995 and a decade later in 2005 i said ladder but i actually want to say later upon initial inspection it becomes evident that employment rates are higher in 2005 than in 1995 and a greater percent of men than women are employed in each given year irrespective of the country each country does show a unique proportion of employment in comparison to the others in this data set when looking deeper into the data it is clear that the rate of employment across these six countries increased by roughly an average of 15 percent in 2005 regardless of gender also the greatest gap in employment between genders can be observed in australia new zealand and iceland whereby 25 to 35 percent more men are working than women the remaining three countries the us the uk and switzerland show a much smaller gender gap in employment rates roughly an average of 10 percent each country does show a unique pattern of employment with iceland having the highest percentage of employed men at over 70 percent and 80 in 1995 and 2005 respectively while australia has the lowest employment rates with under 60 and 70 percent of men working in the same years furthermore switzerland has the second highest rates of employment comparable to that of iceland but proportionally more balanced between the two genders whereby close to 60 percent of women were employed in 1995 and almost 70 percent in 2005. okay good so i think i've done a fair job describing and discussing uh this bar chart i probably have about 230 words which would be well over the 150 limit and what is needed for that high band 8 band 9. dirty duck is asking do we need to explain each item in detail if the bars are more than 5. no you don't dirty duck that's what i'm saying is you will run out of time and the essay will be way too long if you try to discuss each bar in each country on its own okay so you have to be quite careful about that carolina thank you so much for moderating the chat and helping to answer some people's questions that was really helpful because i had a lot of content to deliver so i wasn't able to uh reflect on as much of the students writing so thank you for that uh kyber thank you for sending us this question today we will have this posted on our youtube uh community board have a wonderful day everyone and remember to get lots of videos and strategies to truly help improve your thinking your communication and your score for the ielts exam visit and join our premium package for the academic it's ae help.com for the general it's giles help dot com we are world leaders when it comes to exam preparation have a fantastic rest of your day everyone and make sure to come back tomorrow we've got a question and answer session for members and then we will have a speaking part 3 practice for everyone that's it for me for today again i will be back tomorrow much love to all of you wherever you are in the world bye for now you

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Keywords: IELTS writing task 1, diagram, pie chart, line graph, bar chart, flow-chart, IELTS descriptions, International English Language Testing System, English examination, writing for graphs, writing for charts, writing for tables, IELTS task 1, Lesson, Teacher, Learn, Student, Lessons, Learning, Free, Intro, Tutorial, IELTS task 1 explain, IELTS task 1 learning, IELTS task 1 descriptions

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Length: 58min 35sec (3515 seconds)

Published: Fri Jul 02 2021