I watched Space Jam 2 so you don’t have to

i definitely thought he was going to be bigger space jam 2 is a movie i've been waiting for for most of my life i know it came out a few months ago but i have not stopped thinking about it i have so much to say so please sit back and let me unload every thought i have as if it was ammunition so i recently found out there's a cardboard cutout store in los angeles and they were sold out of lola bunny and that's like hilariously concerning yep uh standing at six foot nine uh lebron james [ __ ] i didn't think that's where my head was gonna be placed brazzers spaceman spaceman spacesham2 is probably one of the funniest movies i've ever seen but none of them are for the right reasons it features lebron james as a protagonist versus don cheadle and that is just comedy like most films this features actors but unlike most films it also features lebron james who also kind of gave me the feeling that they just took the first take on everything i don't know if this will make sense yet if you haven't seen the movie i'm sure most of you have but i'm just very passionate and i just want to talk about it because i saw the movie five times three and uh three in my house two in theaters i just knew i had something to say and i just kept watching it and taking notes like i took notes i think the most disappointing things of the entire movie was definitely the fact that slam jam was not played a single time in two they didn't even reference michael's secret stuff and that feels like an embarrassment unlike today's sponsor that can be loosely associated with michael's secret stuff today's video is sponsored by g feel uh g fuel g uh if i can be real with you for a second i have avoided these sponsors for so long because i had a speech impediment as a kid and i can't say this word energy formula no this would g fuel without the g fuel feel feel feel so thank you to this product listed on screen for sponsoring today's video and more than that we are starting a partnership meaning that they are going to be sponsoring many videos down the road which is giving me more of a budget to buy custom-made cardboard cutouts of lola bunny and they just sent me all kinds of flavors they're like do you want to advertise beauty buys flavor or xqc or mango blitz or i don't know but uh the one that caught my eye was sonic the hedgehog peach rings because i thought it looked funny i ripped his head off and cheered anger as a fight-or-flight reaction um i'm just gonna say that these products are good and oh yeah back too i what i don't know man order this link on screen to use code alpharet for 30 so for now i just want to talk about the plot because it leaves me with a lot of questions i don't know if this is going to make sense yet but the whole film kind of plays out like a stranger danger psa i saw in seventh grade no okay then let me explain the entire plot the movie starts off to flashback lebron's a kid he gets handed a gameboy by his friend loses that basketball his coach gets mad so he just throws the gameboy away it's funny because it wasn't even his you know where this goes lebron james is lebron james and it shows a montage of everything he's done and every team he's left and then you fast forward even more and lebron is alive he has family he has kids and this kid hates basketball and just wants to play video games they talk about e3 and they make jokes about balls get it and then lebron just shows up like a final boss whips out a game boy or something and just challenges his son but i don't know so lebron james sneaks into his son's room hits him with a you winning son and the sun's like programming an entire video game it's like basketball but it's not but it is and he's live streaming it as well that's a whole plot point lebron tries to do his signature move in game and then it glitches and it doesn't glitch like how computers actually glitch it's like as hyperbolic of hacker smashing a keyboard and going i'm in it's that kind of weird out of touch energy anyways he loses all the save data on the game which again doesn't make sense but then lebron james is dabs right that is the wow that is a series of events isn't it enter server verse don cheadle is i i refuse to call him by his name his name is don cheadle and he is just twiddling his fingers thinking of how he can be evil trying to take over the world with a social media superstar like lebron james which there's so many bigger influences but it's not lebron james i don't know he just wants to buy lebron james twitter account and use that for world domination also don cheadle's name in this movie is algae rhythm like algorithm so i think lebron james son is sad so naturally he does what any good parent does and takes him to an executive board meeting for his career they're throwing ideas at them they're like hey what if we just super imprint you in all these films like what about batman versus lebron which i would 100 watch and then lebron james makes a very self-aware joke of how athletes acting is a bad idea which it's funny because he's doing it yeah it's not lebron's a bad dad ignores his son his son says i'm going to e3 he says no you're going to basketball camp they fight he runs away he gets abducted by don cheadle into the server verse [Music] it feels like i'm missing steps lebron james and dom sneak into the server verse and then don cheadle greets him and is supposed to be like this guardian of the internet or something and he does a lot of weird mind games like oh this is my realm abducts the kid and then says lebron you shouldn't have taunted me you shouldn't have said my ideas were bad lebron and he says the whole lebron james and then challenges him to basketball and then to like punish him he sent him to the tune world to collect a team which is hilarious because they're like the only characters owned by warner brothers who have experience of playing with an actual nba athlete it's it just doesn't make sense and you might say well has space sham1 happen in this universe yes lebron james falls through that's all these different planets of uh what game of thrones the matrix wizard of oz and warner brothers is just flopping their big ip dick on the table letting you know what they own and every time i give a passionate rant to someone i know which is a lot by the way i'm all i recite this and i get to this point and they're like oh i didn't know they own game of thrones that's the point of the movie to let you know like you know what disney owns they own marvel they own national geographic they own everything but like you don't know what warner brothers owns but then you watch this movie just like they're just i'm i'm a part of their ploy i am like trying to rant about this this intrusive advertising and and it works i i lose and then he meets bugs bunny which uh in the movie it's been 27 minutes it's been 27 minutes it's a looney tunes movie and you haven't seen a single tune just lebron james and then this bastard right here he finally has screen time in the movie and what does he do it's big chungus it's big chungus anyways like the whole reason lebron's here is because don cheadle says if he doesn't beat him in basketball gonna murder his son not really but might as well ham and bugs bunny run around a little bit bugs bunny pulls out tnt with the tnt logo on it because they probably own tnt you see where this whole movie's going anyways bugs bunny says i can't die i'm a tune and then lebron james just says we got to play basketball and then he was like oh ain't that familiar and i'm like that's that's a space jam spaceshim one reference that's what that is and bugs bunny tells horror stories of algae rhythm who is uh don cheadle and how he stole all the tunes away promised them fame and fortune or something like that and then he just gets over it they steal the [ __ ] from martian the marge marvin the mark i'm having a stroke so this is where all the references come in how it starts is that lebron says let's get a team let's train together bugs bunny and then bugs bunny is like i got an idea i'm gonna use this sucker to fly me to all these worlds and gather my friends back and he does it in private he's clearly hiding it from lebron and you kind of think this is gonna become like conflict or like a moment of contention between the two characters and it's not it's not they go to the dc world they make a few references you see a few characters you know and then they i [ __ ] you not play this sound effect the one that every youtuber uses they put that in the movie when they save an orphanage and i don't do they own the head then they have a whole montage of references they show wiley coyote and mad max they show sam in casa blanca uh elmer fudd in austin powers as many me which is i don't think that's tasteful and if it doesn't feel like a fever dream yet hard cut its matrix and then granny is neo and somehow that's a major plot point that we will touch on later it turns out his condition is irreversible and then the whole team's together and you start to think wow i feel safe from references and just as you let your guard down sylvester spits up tweety bird as he says uh what year is it it's a reference if you didn't know that it's like the meme speaking of hard cut amazon wonder woman is training lola bunny and bugs and lebron james are trying to beg her to play and then she's like been there done that when it comes to playing with an nba superstar which again just confirms canon of space jam one anyways bugs just harasses lola and she loses the amazon challenge and then uh wonder woman says who cares your heart's big girl just like but the first time i saw this movie was in theaters and i did get a little intoxicated and i might have made some questionable tweets i don't mind the response there you know no such thing as bad publicity but there's an overwhelming amount of quote retweets and that scares me so good thing i got this one specially ordered i have no idea what i'm going to do with these when this video is over uh a wonder woman just says lebron james go beat the one called algae rhythm in the basket of balls and then it's just like how do you know the plot of this movie anyways hard cut to don cheadle and duh oh no well that's a plot point later in the movie and we'll get to that all the while this is happening don cheadle and dom are like in the server versus having deep conversations about how he listens in on a 12 year old and just that's it because he's an algorithm you know he gets away with it if you have a phone he's listening it's just it's commentary it's like that one black mirror episode don cheadle and dom are just sitting in like a server verse talking of like if i was your dad i'd let you be you but he's doing this little thing called uh grooming which is bad and he just starts like turning him against his dad and is saying stuff like i'd let you be you dumb you know if i was your dad and it's weird it's weird and it just he just does stuff like this if you watch this movie with a mentality and grooming which is not a sentence i like saying but space jam 2's tone changes drastically and it's it's a little chilling if i'm being honest don cheadle then proposes a plan on how dom can get his dad to notice him and just starts twisting all these little facts which is just you know gaslighting a lot of fun little manipulation tactics along the way for the 12 year old he's 12 by the way it shows a flashback of how he just like took pictures on his iphone of all these professional nba players and just sucked them into his game which is called dumbball by the way which is a not good name and it's similar to space jam one because you know the little aliens stole all the powers from the other athletes and now dom he took the power of the athletes but then don cheadle is going to manipulate those powers so like it's kind of similar to the first movie so far [Music] kind of not and similarly to space jam 1 now that all the tunes are together they're being loony and michael jordan didn't like that he wanted to play good on his basketball and now lebron james wants to play good on his basketball and then it cut to sad lebron who just didn't get it and enter lola bunny who then comforts him because there is a shocking amount of sexual tension between lola bunny and lebron james this movie and i don't see anybody talking about it and it's driving me [ __ ] insane i find this to be haunting because it's like he has a wife and kids who have already been introduced in the film and these two are just you know you know what i mean it's it's it's not right they're just practicing like basketball and they talk about putting the fun and fundamentals and and all that and then bugs bunny makes an mc hammer joke in 2021 which outdated but honestly at this point bold like you just have to respect it then lebron james and bugs bunny are going at it about how the do they go loony or do they go fundamental and then as they're going back and forth the timer runs up and now it's time to play basketball because it's so if you thought the references were over you were surely mistaken as every warner's brothers warner brothers i'm having a stroke again every single character an ip under the umbrella of warner brothers is coming out right now you see characters you didn't even know they own you see goddamn clockwork orange that the four stooges in the background just do you know what clockwork orange is they just want you to know we own this ip and that's it enjoy the rest of the movie so then sportscasters just spawn and then they're like whoa are we dead and if you look around that is honestly the most understandable response of any character we've got in this entire movie so enter don cheadle and he's like rubbing the shoulders of dong who is a 12 year old child and just like gassing him up and he's like hey dad we're gonna kick your ass and dom ball and he's like what we're all playing basketball anyways it's just made up rules it's made of points they throw a ball in and score like 12 or 16 points and then lebron james was like what i didn't know you could do that it was like style points and then don cheadle and i [ __ ] you not ghosts like you mad bro you can just kind of fast forward to half time and we're at like a thousand points i think the um the exact score is 1039-37 but if i can just like mention a few things from the first half because um uh when you think the references are over they are just kidding back to the buckets it's like back to the future but it's an intellectual property that they have the right to move as ever they want and then they have more sexual attention of lola bunny and lebron james because why not and then lola bunny gets choked out by this cobra scorpion lady and that awoke something in someone either that or inflation fetish lebron james it's been a weird movie and then they put lebron's son on the bench just so they can bring in this robot who you've never met and he can stop time reference but hear me out who else can combat such things granny she was in the matrix it's a plot point fast forward we're at halftime everyone is depressed and this is when michael jordan the first one goes come on guys i got uh michael's secret stuff and it's just water but it it's a placebo it's a sugar pill you know and they don't have that lebron james is equally depressed like well i guess we lost that's a bummer and then when everyone's spirits are low the one thing you've been waiting for this entire film is happening sylvester comes and says guys i found michael jordan and you're like i am so invested in this scene emotionally and then they really drag it out and it was michael b jordan lasting mix-up it's like you get it like michael jordan i get the joke but it felt like they didn't know how to end the joke like i i get it it's michael jordan it's not really the issue with this joke is that it made people excited and then it made them sad and then the joke didn't even have payoff after that because he just was like hey guys i'm not michael jordan i'm michael b jordan bye they just decided to have fun and bugs has this weird thing goes like well if i'm going down i'm going down looney and then they all that was it that was the equivalent of michael's secret stuff they're not slamming they're not jamming they just come out on the court and lebron james just goes and that lets you know he is a different man now he is putting the fun in fundamentals and he is here to get loony and i could explain how they score a thousand points but then they just score a thousand points in like five minutes and then porky wraps you nobody knows you when you walk the street how's your last name rhythm and you're still off beat from the beginning i'm here for all the smoke you're squatting all star your squad is all jokes with one bar most famous of all quotes this battle is now over that that's all folks [Music] so dom says wow looks like they're having fun i want to do that and then don cheadle goes no we are having fun we are gonna win and then dom's like i'm 12 years old and he goes exactly and then dom's like dom decides to join the tune squad and then don cheadle turns into what i call perfect shield he gets mad he gets angry and he substitutes him in the game right then and there and then perfect cheeto says the f word and they bleep it out which i still don't think that's as bad as having clockwork orange characters in the movie in this kids movie and then perfect sheedle gets scored on and he just turns admin codes on and undoes the score which is really poor sportsmanship if you're putting everybody's like entire life on it but then they remember it's a simulation and at the beginning of the movie if lebron james is a step back turn past fade bald his signature the game crashes and if it's like the game it should crash and then dom's like oh no but dad if you do that you're gonna die probably so lebron james dies just kidding bugs bunny dies as they pass the ball bugs takes it and then does lebron's signature and starts glitching out of existence and he doesn't even make it lebron james has to go like this incredible beast i thought he was gonna air jordan he didn't why would he and then perfect cheetos tackling him because he can no longer use his adamant powers because bugs bunny is dying and then lebron james is reaching for the ball of reaching for the basket and he doesn't make it so the dom makes up a new rule and picks up this boost pad tosses it like a frisbee lebron james bounces off it and scores and then they win and then there's a reference to the the game from the beginning and then lebron dunks it and then perfect cheeto gets posterized and was like ah this isn't how i wanted it to end something like that it's just not a cool final word from a villain also don cheadle is a villain in this movie and then all the tunes crowd around bugs bunny who is dying he is glitching he is coughing up and then right as he takes his final breath he goes that's all folks [Music] that's all folks and then bugs bunny oh [ __ ] he dies that could not have gone worse actually with bugs bunny dead you might ask what happens now that is a very good question it cuts back to the real life and lebron james is walking down the sidewalk with his son and he's like hey man don't you love uh basketball he's like yeah dad i'm gonna basketball and then you're like wow they've learned nothing this movie but they have and then the camera turns 180 degrees and they're at e3 and dog's like what i didn't know we were at e3 which is crazy to me because they didn't like turn a corner and the reveal happened it just he just didn't see i i am very bothered by that scene and then the shot is framed like he's about to get run over by a car right you you agree and then did i mention that bugs bunnies final words were that's all folks because that's funny as [ __ ] lebron james is like i'm a good dad which is false but then bugs bunny appears and hits with the ah what's up doc and he's like bugs how are you doing which is a very tame reaction for a cartoon in the real world especially one you thought was dead anyways you saw his spirit float on into the heavens and the movie and then the tune world and i don't know what that means and given how tame this response is i'm very convinced that this is like he's hallucinating bugs bunny is not real and bugs bunny is canonically dead and then the credits roll and it plays the worst song i've ever heard so um what did we learn from this movie that is an excellent question uh nothing hmm [Music]

Channel: Alpharad

Views: 1,546,026

Keywords: alpharad, super smash bros ultimate, smash bros, not, not alpharad, alpharad smash, nintendo, nintendo switch, space jam, space jam 2, space jam a new legacy, lebron james, michael jordan, looney tunes, looney toons, bugs bunny, lola bunny, rick and morty

Id: t9-4WR-cHu8

Length: 24min 6sec (1446 seconds)

Published: Wed Sep 15 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/Super_Tuky]

It's this one https://youtu.be/7J5KK51RgIM

[u/CasoRama123]

I only know it's from Mario Kart Wii