I played Balan Wonderworld so you don't have to

let's say your job is to create a video game where do you even start well let's begin with mario people love mario then let's get square enix to develop yeah that sounds great let's just rip off the band-aid and say that this game is not very good because there is no such thing as good art this game could be whatever i want it to be it's all about my interpretation on this work of art and my interpretation still says it's bad yeah the 3d platformer genre has really died off in the past decade outside of mario and a few niche exceptions so when square enix turned around and announced a platformer i thought wow this would be hilarious if it turned out to be bad darymothai came [Music] well they succeeded it's like even in the name fallon wonderland balan wonderland it just makes so much sense so why in the french hell is this game called balin wonder world it's just so close to making sense and that's kind of how the entire game goes i'd love to sit you down by a fireplace and explain the plot to you but even after playing the game to completion which is 15 hours of my life i'm not getting back i have not the slightest clue what the hell this game is even about my interpretation of ballon wonder world was that there was an old and mysterious magical man who abducted kids at the circus before putting them through rigorous challenges while dancing alongside them which now that i'm saying it out loud as accurate as that might be it just sounds like the start of a netflix documentary and no not the good kind at the end of the game i realized that i i've learned nothing so i went to a credible source of wikipedia to teach me what i apparently missed out on did you know fallon wonder world takes place in a ballon theater a magical realm overseen by a mysterious being named balon well so far i'm not wrong the ballon theater appears when one's heart loses its balance and connects to wonder world a realm merging reality and fantasy created from memories and hearts these two kids are drawn into the balan theater due to their social anxiety sure and travel through 12 magical worlds born from the hearts of troubled adults and children alike what i don't care if you want to rebrand abducting kids as guiding them through a magical realm but you're still going to be put on a list so with the questionable intro out of the way it's now time for me to play ballon wonderland so you don't have to oh god damn i'm in balan wonder world it's ballin wonder world sorry oh hey uh if you liked the video be sure to subscribe because uh please as already stated this game starts off with my third favorite felony abduction the children kind ballon reveals himself before going into like this aladdin friend like me like genie type of musical and after the whole song and dance is over we're thrown into the hub world the isle of tim's this is a temp what is their purpose i am not quite sure throw it off the edge throw it off the edge throw it off the edge throw it off the edge okay this is a reference he'll like it [Music] that was awesome i played this entire game and call with two of my friends and we decided that our purpose was to count as many as these little guys as possible in hopes of building the tower of tim's 40 41 what 42 44 what they are going crazy then we had to count 420 of them the the comedy just writes itself what can i say tim trampoline yes oh that's what that is you got the second tim trampoline all right now count to 770. so if you want to see actual gameplay let's just hop into the first chapter the man who rages against the star this is about a farmer a corn farmer and since this is the first time you've seen actual gameplay in this video let's talk about the controls jump is mapped to x circle triangle square r2 and l2 yep it's good to keep it simple i agree but even navigating menus becomes difficult when every button is mapped to confirm that's that's not a joke i i just i just don't understand the gimmick of this game is that you don't have any abilities not a one so naturally you wear costumes that give you powers just one singular mundane superpower the first one you get gives you a cool spin jump but some in the future allow you to turn on a flashlight or light a candle thrilling i know all throughout this game you can see where the inspiration lies but you can also see where they went a little rogue and just tried their best each level is filled with trophies enemies and powers like dump truck pig at every end an altar gives you a heart and i don't know what this means and not even the wikipedia article is helping oh fun alliteration the [ __ ] is about yeah i yeah i i know a lot about that balance bout is a weird cutscene minigame and by that i mean it's it's it's a cutscene it's a [ __ ] quick time event [ __ ] yes so with two levels done it's time to fight the boss of this corn-filled world your corn that's a farmer he works hard you know he's a hard-working joe from the midwest he's just having a hard day of work uh-oh there's a tornado it's crops no no dude i don't know why they look like this but this is evil ballon who according to the wiki is named lance i didn't know they're i think they're evil i don't really know their motive but lance hates corn and farmers i i think i'm pretty sure is dark souls what the [ __ ] is happening he's up there not for long so now i think i've caught you up on everything that bound wonder world is all about well except for one thing [Music] what is playing in the background this is the one part is this everything you ever wanted from a video game you know how the infinite monkey theorem states that eventually a chimpanzee will randomly hit keys at a typewriter and will somehow retell the entire works of william shakespeare this game's narrative feels a lot like that but imagine if we just took the monkey's first attempt and imagine the monkeys knew how to write a sponsor segment today's video is brought to you by the wonderful nordvpn have you ever seen a youtube video that you really wanted to watch but but for some reason it's unavailable in your country for for some reason but not anymore because with nordvpn you can simply change your virtual location and lock new games discounts movies etcetera and 59 countries across 4 4 400 servers that's a lot that's that's a lot nord can also help you avoid ddos attacks block malware written websites and secure browser traffic all without affecting any latency they also offer other helpful services like nordpass which generates strong passwords and saves them in a secure location for you and your locker a super secure cloud storage service and if you join today you can get a two years plan with 73 off as well as four months for free so go to nordvpn.com alfred or use the code alfred to unlock this amazing deal and speaking of amazing this is really just a completely new never before seen gaming experience of players across the world everything's good now oh my god dude oh he still has some corn left so there are 12 worlds right each featuring a different character whose story is as tragic as the farmer who lost his court that this one's about a dolphin you can swim now though because you're a jellyfish i look so stupid yeah that's got his bubble bowler which is your favorite costume so far bubble baller then it was time for everyone's favorite powerpoint presentation balance bout i i think i need help for this next one can you guys please tell me when to press a [Music] thanks no problem how was i supposed to know when i i didn't i couldn't figure it out let's keep sorry dude and since now you get to follow live commentary you get a little insight to some realizations i make i don't know what the plot of this game is you saved the farmer and now you're here you have a dance party everything is funny so if you're watching from home am i the stupid one is the meaning of this game obviously like is it an allegory for world war two or epstein i i mean all of those sound possible i i think i'm just missing out on what the creator's vision is outside of being awesome oh what is this tower it's a key it's a baseball oh what you gotta pull baseball now i like how my only option is to escape to the title screen what happens if you hit that all right well that was expected oh what's what's about that not the dolphin the dolphin takes your oxygen dude the dolphin was the bad guy the entire time dolphins are horrible by the way yeah i know and with that being said let's just put it out there that it could have been worse dude okay i assume i just like hit these back all right that was awesome and it's over i feel like they really want you to beat these boss fights we've brought her back to life after the dolphin murdered her you know what that mean i hope she murders the dolphin and eats them for lunch why would she be why would she oh sh he's sorry well as long as it was a prank so what was the lesson of that story because i don't think there was one the girl who's gaga for bugs there's still like 10 more chapters lovely lantern i now have a light bulb wow oh you can see i'll fight on control when it turns on and off by the way this turns on and off when it wants to yeah that's awesome i think the best part of this game is that you can never fully explain what's happening look at all your friends you don't have there were just some clips in ballen wonder world where contacts were probably just confuse you more oh she's a nerd she gets bullied right yeah that's what i'm assuming the points what what oh happened so as you can tell ah who cares [Music] so what's your prediction on the story of the girl her bug speech i don't know dance time what are they dancing on you're not even why why oh she was in a metaphoric cocoon when she was being a nerd and getting bullied and stuff oh yeah see oh now she's she's like look at this bug and then the kids bully her so moral of the story if you get bullied uh stop so with three worlds down they introduce three new ones to us through we get on the polar express okay i have a script i know i'm messing these sentences it's just i'm in disbelief every time i this video is planned okay but how could anyone be prepared for what the [ __ ] is ballon wonder world [Music] i told you this game gets weird sometimes so joe have you played 3d platformers before yeah imagine those but awesome so if mario was finally good yeah thank god [Music] hey level design you lost dude you had 17 jump buttons and you didn't use any of them you're a laser launcher that's a sick name honestly a more creative name would have been confusing so did you read the tutorial no do you know how he guess what button i press to fire lasers jump uh i have to stand still [Music] they cut out all the extra button presses i mean if you're standing still you're going to be shooting you're going to be spamming lasers regardless so [Music] oh oops it's hard it's really hard you died i thought he hung himself he made it he killed everyone dude this kid sucks no one likes you dude no he's evil he's evil he's upset because he sucks here we go the final hit that's awkward [Music] look what no matter how many times i see this i'm still not prepared for it how are there eight more chapters the hot head yo look at that neat dance this guy's ability is that he can light torches by jumping into them that's [Music] that's you solved that puzzle that's crazy ladies and gentlemen fallon wonder world [Music] how'd you do that are you gonna like make a walk through this or something to help out people because i would have gotten stuck on that i know i'm skipping around a lot but i played balan wonder world so you don't have to and by that i mean i'm skipping over all the repetitive stuff which is most of the game so you're welcome oh oh how did she get here she was looking at trees birds and birds not even a real bird these birds are really weird does she believe in deforestation this looks like one of those facebook memes remember mental illness clown no i'm not gonna continue then so her backyard got knocked down and now she's an evil bird yeah pretty much well it's your favorite time of the day everybody she got over the trees very quickly so does she just give him become a capitalist drone is that the resolution oh no she educates them she cried about the trees being gone so we beat her out of it what would happen if we put trees on the roof oh you put trees on top of the buildings okay that's how it works no construction people don't realize that we need trees too yeah you're right no it makes sense nope you have both levels unlocked already you have for every world that's great it's innovative that means you get to play it you have to play it in both any way you want yeah tell me it's not innovative why would you play a story game in order actually i don't think this is is this a story based game it's just a base game [Laughter] this guy's awesome that's it this power's awesome so do you guys know what stockholm syndrome sounds like i'm pulling my jaw up off the floor because i'm just in awe of how they could make a game that was this good yo way do you guys see it all right see what [ __ ] you absolutely [ __ ] you wow this is an awesome there this is some game it was ahead of its time must be real [Music] this game's got it all why does it look like kermit with a massive schlong from this angle how do you know it's crazy that's why he really lost his job he put his favorite games hentai in this yo the chrono wait hold up it's chrono putty time rabbit dude they have time travel in this game it allows them to stop time by passing through portals that's a reference that was the power working it and not at all a screen where there's nothing yeah i can see if i'm not the rabbit i can't i can't go in [Music] i'd also be cheering if i saw chrono bunny show up i'd be cheering if i saw this game which i am and that's why i'm sharing yo air cat awesome i'm air cat a little bit of a spoiler warning but i think this is probably one of the best powers in the game because believe it or not this lets you do some unintended things which some would consider a surprise given how perfect this game really is what do you mean no i mean like unintended things they don't want you to do you should stop talking it's birthday [Music] yay okay any predictions on her tragic backstory uh her cat gets ran over or something oh something's gonna happen to the cat gets hit by a car she throws it away this happened to my buddy eric that'll show the cat yeah he's getting run over yeah got hit by the car you idiot so how do we i don't think we can help her [Music] well i guess she's over it then oh the cat's bad it's another cat it's a new cat that's also gonna get hit by a car i'll be honest i don't think we helped her and that's okay and then we play the same polar express cutscene and bada boom three new worlds i went to the beach today why because because life's a beach ah that's a good one we are so funny we are so funny we have to tell my mom that one your mom would probably ground you if you told her that joke yeah when you when you're when your parents punish you when your parents punish you and make you go up when your parents punish you outside when your parents punish you because they have a speech impediment i've been perpetual punishment we're in chess world right now oh look at this [ __ ] loser this guy's a nerd this looks like someone who played chess oh wait hold up your chest this is not how chess works this is my favorite chess piece yo ketchup or i'll spoil hockey yeah look when jump four spoiled one piece for me i understood i did not expect balan wonder world to do it too one piece spoilers invalid wonder world what the [ __ ] what a game look this is how meek mill plays chess what he just puts the king in the middle yes what that's not that's not this guy's cheating he literally just swapped the piece this guy has watched queen's gambit once and is putting grand master in his tinder bio this is hikaru versus ludwig all the chess pieces are big god i hate it when i lose in chess once he lost one game so one game and dies dude oh he becomes the king jesus christ and now you have to beat him in chess okay so i'm gonna pause for a second because i just want you to sit and think about what is his character's resolution gonna be the farmer had more crops and that was his silver lining and also while we're here i learned that if you swap costumes you get invincibility which is sure anyways what do you think this chess guys in game is host dance party hi is that a love interest or a child [Music] god i hope it's not both [Music] oh he plays chess instead he beats a kid at chess and now he feels better he lost once so he literally just starts bullying children that's literally me uh yeah so we are barely halfway through the game this is just air cat part of me wishes you could just use the hammer to squish the little yellow bunny rabbit call them by their name bunny rabbit bunny rabbit jeremy i i can't believe i really thought you guys were bound wonder world fans dude speaking of squished rabbit you won't believe what i just said oh you're looking at one piece of fan art no no i wasn't but that does sound like it would be one piece fan art this looks like a sexy dog and i don't like that okay okay slow down it's a seal oh it's a snowman wait here's the story the backstory her family died [Laughter] guys i don't think we can help her with this one that's what i was thinking the picture starts cracking did she die he died i mean honestly knowing square enix i thought we were just gonna get like four minutes of elsa singing let it go because that because that happened in kingdom hearts laugh oh so remember when i told you that i found like infinite invincibility yeah if you uh keep changing costumes you get like a lot of invincibility which is just a fun feature in this perfectly designed game so let's find out how her family comes back to life i don't really care i think she should just dance [Music] we still do not know the relation between her and this man is he a babysitter is well i hope not that's her boyfriend [Music] ordained ministers dude [Music] what chapter 9 the man who fell for a princess we are so close to the end this is a train this is my favorite one rail runner this is my favorite one it's rail runner he can summon rails in certain spots [Laughter] this is so awesome what did you just skip the entire game good job that's good game it's interesting game design that's for sure yo whoa whoa train's so cool you got outplayed can't wait to happy blast over everyone in my path oh wait wait a second so what's this sad story yo thriller okay that's a clown where's the boy oh it's the clown oh clowns getting clown fell in love with the girl and then the girl dies he met a girl then went on a really scary roller coaster [Music] this was the first boss i actually struggled with because i genuinely couldn't tell how i was supposed to defeat him so thank god i knew how to abuse invincibility by switching costumes and then one of the ways you take down this boss is by ground pounding the floor approximately 15 times to deal one piece of ballon wonder world i i don't ask questions anymore oh you saved the clown let's dance with the loser if he wanted a hug he should have gotten rejected in the first place that's what i'm saying just have better game [Music] mask off oh he took his normal pills and he realized life was better this way well guys you learned if you want to get the girl of your dreams just become a different person yeah and then that one polar express cutscene looks even better the third time and oh my god only three worlds remain the artist with painters block it that's not correct what do you think of x-ray eight this dude looks like a pervert i love x-ray ape so who dies in this character's backstory why didn't you just drop this painting i think this guy is i think he's just bad at his job is what it sounds like probably just bad at art yeah i just can't draw on [Music] she's that's a painting that's terrible ew how can it be terrible if you zoom in it becomes the real thing okay so now what's wrong does she just forget how to paint she's just she's just painting herself over not yeah she hears how the paint she's really bad at it so this is what the boss looks like but what if they were dancing [Music] those aren't even real people she went to photoshop and put the painting filter on a picture of the sky so now we're in the firefighter arc of ballen wonder world which yeah that exists and if you heard the confused voice in the last dance number you might have realized our friend aaron joined the call so we then try to explain a little bit about wonder world and it's it's such honestly kind of hard to explain to someone who's just jumping in on the middle of the action let's try and solve this puzzle so aaron you always have to put the keys on the things that's pretty hard oh mouse now you don't need the keys anymore oh that's that's awesome whoa that's the fireman he's gonna die he is yo oh thank god i'm a sexy fire hydrant as you can tell the gossip power-ups are only getting more creative but i have an even better one to show you this guy looks like ladder man yeah you know i'm switching up who i'm going for is halloween yeah ladderman's a good one i think ladder might be one of my favorites is it possible for a ladder man to fight with ladders oh splatterman's cracked so there's fire i could have guessed that he saved someone's life now what [Music] so he's bad at his job you're scared of the fire dude quit your job and then this boss fight is a severus coming out of a fire hydrant but but the fire hydrant shooting fire which it it's a creative game you're just doing fire fighting better than bulldog keymouse crap emass has to lo [Music] we've seen this like 10 times and i still don't have an explanation how will the firemen solve this problem [Music] water heard of it [Music] literally just gonna fight the fire that's what his job title is so he better one more the final chapter the man seen by no one what does that mean [Laughter] no i forgot about this one while i was editing and it just it came and hit me like a truck it's a [ __ ] vacuum cleaner why [ __ ] vacuum cleaner this guy's awesome [Music] it's invisible you can't see him you can't see him john can't see him you're just invisible look look how confused they are because they can't see me they found me next time i play a game and i'm not a vacuum cleaner i'm just gonna ask myself why i'm not playing ballon instead no next time i play a game and i'm not a vacuum cleaner i'm gonna close the game guys we're this is almost the end of balan wonder world this is almost the end of a religious experience [Music] well that's a little disappointing is this just gonna be the plot of up oh man they keep littering [Music] no one saw him cleaning and they just littered forever so yeah his villain origin story is that people were littering that's rough buddy this final boss was like all the others but i was very disappointed to find out that the vacuum cleaner could not kill him well at least he couldn't see just i'm on to the job i think the first story being like the farmer lost his crops yeah he cares a lot about that and then the dolphin one was like oh the dolphin literally murdered the small child yeah these are pretty bad you know the cat getting hit by the car like i understand all of these but then the final ones have been like old dude bullies kids in chess girl forgets how to paint and this dude doesn't like littering i high-stakes gameplay i guess now imagine society if we didn't litter one person used to trashcan for the first time wow alan wonder world huh yeah i agree this cutscene is better the fourth time so after a long and perilous journey this adventure was finally coming to a close we had one bridge and one doorway left in our path but first we must unlock the third section of the tower of tim of course of course of course i want to know what happens in the third section of the tower thames it's going up later yo that's awesome 20 minutes later and it's finally time to combat the final boss lance but first we got to construct the perfect team hey balon what's up nice wonder world people don't have yes oh wait alan's dead are they our friends here to defend us oh no they want us to leave so you guys remember the plot of the game right yeah yeah me too oh wait [Music] that's us i don't know what that flashback was for i think it was just to remind the protagonist that he has social anxiety which okay it's not like he's asking him to make a phone call and now it's time for chrono bonnie versus the seeker of all evil i just think the timing to do that was is too close oh no it's all up to chrono bonnie yeah i just no it's it's all it's a chrono bunny this is awkward but if there is ever someone you had to pick to carry the weight of humanity wouldn't it be chrono bunny i can't believe chrono bunny got me my arch nemesis chrono bunny then anime happens and we're fighting a giant monster yeah you know how this goes oh and i forgot to mention chrono bunny's [ __ ] dead but through the power of friendship and balanced mystical wonderland wonder world god damn we can make it happen look it's everyone all of your favorite characters and the girl who died to a dolphin yeah nice try you saved him like i wonder if their cat got hit by a car too and he's getting bullied by all of his friends now oh well i guess they're not gonna dance with us honestly what better way to conclude the perfect game than with a perfect dance break and no no the game's not over yet we free run the void what if this just turns into danganronpa all right let's all go home [Music] i've been waiting for this moment the whole game yo yes yes yes classic anime handshake oh the fist bump yeah i'm just saying he gave the farmer a handshake out of respect i'm glad that the first person's handy shook was the farmers me too it's as it should be then there's me and this girl who i've seen for the first time he just pushes us over and leaves i have no idea who the girl is there it's your girlfriend or your sister let's not have a i don't know how i feel about that one why why'd they make ballon hot not like traditional hot but you know like you know but back to the real world and everything is fine we healed the hearts of so many people and even our own we used to have social anxiety and now we probably still do you do a backflip and then they believe look at them why would they bully him just to do it themselves well now they don't want to bully him because he can do backflips he learned to dance oh my god he just this whole game was just him learning how to dance see making friends is easy just have to have 13 rehearsed dance numbers and deliver a completely new never-before-seen gaming experience to players [Laughter] so that was ballon wonder world it was more than a game it was an experience and we had a lot of fun a lot of laughs along the way so if you enjoyed the video and know what i'm about to say feel free to leave a like and maybe subscribe while you're at it because i played valen wonder world so you don't have to and now the game's finished oh what what what what you mean the secret i thought it was over and there's a novel too so yeah there's a book titled ballon wonder world and you might say hey what kind of twisted [ __ ] wrote this well none other than sochi kawasaki which you might recognize as the head writer for the 2004 release yoshi's island ds so thank god they're finally in good hands

Channel: Alpharad

Views: 3,574,692

Keywords: alpharad, super smash bros ultimate, smash bros, not, not alpharad, alpharad smash, nintendo, nintendo switch, balan, jump force, balan wonderworld, balan wonderland, square enix, alpharad balan

Id: iS1v01-atok

Length: 40min 41sec (2441 seconds)

Published: Thu Jul 08 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/JimJoeJameson]

340p lock baby let's GO

[u/HereForTOMT2]

Thank god he played Balan Wonderland so I didn’t have to

[u/butteryhugs]

This video had me laughing like a madman at 2am

"Balan's an ordained minister?!"

[u/Medeiros14]

Making friends is easy all you need is 13 rehearsed dance numbers