I Told Parents They Can Pay Me Back $100,000 If They Want To Be Family Again & See Their Grand Baby

i was raised by parents who believed religiously and just culturally in rigid gender rules dad should work mom should stay home with the kids i'm the only girl and have three brothers because of their expectation i'd stay home with kids they never valued my education educational achievements or emphasize things beyond domestic skills i'm the second youngest by the time i was in high school my two older brothers had gone to the college of their choice with my parents fully covering tuition books an off-campus apartment and other living expenses they eventually did the same for my younger brother i was told i wasn't allowed to apply for college i did so in secret and got accepted with a partial scholarship i didn't tell them i was moving out until a week before i left with essentially nothing but what a few friends gave to me that their parents bought them for college i took engineering and had to work take on debt and struggle my parents and i have barely spoken for years i'm married now and expecting our first child and they asked to meet up we met at a park and they said they were sorry if they caused me pain but would like a relationship now i asked them specifically what they were sorry for they wouldn't elaborate and just said they wanted to move forward i said that wasn't sufficient in the end i said they could prove they were sorry by forwarding me the hundred thousand dollars my degree and college expenses were just like they did for my brothers my mom burst into tears my dad said i wasn't being serious and i just left since then i've been getting calls from my brothers telling me i'm being immature and hurtful i don't think so at all hi from another engineer from a family filled with rage that she has all the talent that the boy was never up to as far as i can see your answer to them was perfect it was very fair and if they have fixed their appalling discrimination issues they would be falling all over themselves begging you to take the money since they clearly have not fixed their unfairness you don't want them around your child never ever poison children by allowing such idiots in their presence no exceptions that includes your nasty brothers edited to add i have a bachelor's masters and doctorate all in engineering you've no idea how angry this makes them hopefully you will too and we can all watch the envious idiots faint from sheer rage together [Music] i'm also betting they want to try and convince opie to give up on her silly dreams to be a stay-at-home mom and we're probably expecting to be welcomed with open arms and thanked for giving her the necessary skills needed to be a good mom are you glad we made you learn all the woman skills now you can properly take care of your baby at home and quit your job like you're supposed to yep this was my first thought they're probably thinking that since opie is pregnant she's finally come to her senses and will now do the proper thing when she doesn't they'll be appalled my ex and i have one child together we found out during my pregnancy that our child would be deaf and wouldn't qualify for the surgery that some deaf people are able to get due to a combination of problems while the external issue is a fluke the internal issue is apparently something that i always had a 25 chance of passing down to a child not to toot my own horn but once i learned this i made an effort to start connecting with the deaf community in my area and learn sign language he did not and while he stayed for the birth he moved in with his brother right after dropping me off at my home i owned the house and did before i met him so it's not part of the divorce he was nice enough to give me two months worth of a cleaning service and a gift card to grubhub he ended up telling everyone that i'm the reason he didn't see our child and that i filed for divorce because i overreacted the truth is that i have sole custody because he cried in court that he couldn't deal with the baby and wanted to just pay support while i did file it was because he abandoned me and said so many horrible things that i couldn't get over i have text messages he sent me which say that he wouldn't have married me if he knew that we would produce problems and that he couldn't handle raising a the only thing wrong with her is hearing i don't want my child to grow up in a home where she's hated i was starting to hear all sorts of crap from my family and his who started to take his side because divorce isn't really a thing here so i took action i made a social media post publishing the text messages so people would finally see the truth i'm now getting calls and messages for making a private issue public and parental alienation every pregnancy is a surprise in a way you never really know how it will go or what the outcome will be if you aren't prepared for that you shouldn't choose to become a parent you did the work to learn sign language he bailed you have every right to correct the lies he told about you and to expose his bigotry and ignorance i'm deaf in one ear it's not the same as being deaf obviously but i want to say there's nothing wrong with being deaf and people who are hearing impaired can do anything well nearly anything an able-bodied person can do the only thing that holds people back is other people's prejudices and refusal to accommodate carry on with what you're doing you sound like a great mom my aunt and her husband just got divorced i don't know the full details but my father mentioned that he cheated actually none of my business they have a son who is currently living with my aunt my parents invited my aunt and cousin over to our place for a short stay because they have been under stress i was supposed to play with my cousin as the adults have their conversations but we have nothing much in common so i let him play on my laptop instead he was playing some web games as i surfed on my phone nearby and he suddenly lost it he slammed on the keyboards hard and swiped the laptop off the desk when i picked it up the screen was broken it was pixelated all over with white crack across the middle i yelled at him a little before my parents stopped me telling me to be nice as he is just upset because of recent events my aunt just kept telling him it's all right and didn't even look at me at the screen and keyboard fixed the warranty covered the keyboard but not the screen so it cost around four hundred dollars my parents gave me a hundred dollars to cover part of it but the rest was my fault which i didn't agree i never asked to babysit an angry kid nor ask him to destroy my laptop they made it clear that they were not going to give me more so i asked my aunt instead and got a scolding from them for being insensitive insensitive or not 300 isn't a small sum for me and i figured nobody would pay me i decided to contact my aunt's ex-husband instead after all my cousin is his son too so it's worth a try in short he did pay me the full bill in which i returned the hundred dollars back to my parents but they were all fuming when they found out about it it was like a great humiliation to my aunt unhealthy for my cousin or something like that maybe it's bad but i don't really have much empathy for them so am i wrong not wrong he broke your laptop he's nine but he is the parent's responsibility if my child broke something of someone's no matter what the cost i know i would have to pay for it no shame in asking for what is yours in fact they should be ashamed for making you pay for it insensitive absolutely not what i think is insensitive is making you pay for something their son broke good for you for contacting the father they can cry about it all they want you got your laptop fixed and you didn't have to pay a dime that's how it should be you break it you buy it i 34 male have been seeing my girlfriend 28 for four years we've talked about marriage and kids and passing it's always been something we're both open to but we're quite career minded and that's been our focus she and her brother both often joke and complain about the pressure they feel from their parents to get married he's been in a relationship longer than we have and still not engaged and i've seen as well how it's something their parents drop unsubtle hints about all the time i don't think they mean it to feel like pressure they just want their kids to be happy and they want to be grandparents anyway i've been thinking about it a lot i've reached that point in my life where marriage is increasingly appealing i'm ready to make that commitment and i know she's the one for me her parents hosted a dinner party to celebrate us all being able to finally visit each other's houses again it was me my girlfriend her brother his girlfriend and her three sets of parents it seemed perfect to me so after dinner i got down on one knee and proposed she looked pretty stunned and said um i guess and everyone laughed all the parents started celebrating her mother was crying her father was opening champagne we were all hugging we went home later and i told her how happy i was to spend the rest of my life with her and she started crying and saying she felt like she had no choice this upset me it was hardly the enthusiasm i'd hoped for and i asked if she loved me she said she did and maybe she did want to get married but the way i proposed made it feel like her answer was a foregone conclusion and she didn't have time to think about it and even now she knows that if she were to change her mind she'd be letting everyone down disappointing her parents she said she wished i'd proposed privately so we could talk together about what it really means and what her future looks like and she could be a hundred percent sure of her decision before announcing it to her family she feels like i've removed her opportunity to prepare for her parents reaction and make sure she was saying yes because she wanted to instead of because of expectation she says she's less sure than ever about our relationship because the proposal shows how little i know her or what she wants i thought i was being romantic and even if it wasn't her ideal proposal i don't see why that should affect her answer our relationship's about more than just that one evening am i the idiot it pains me to say this but you are the idiot she has a point when i saw the title i was ready for a story about some entitled girl who was mad that you didn't make some huge grand gesture with fireworks and stuff but she has a point on this one by making a public spectacle out of it you really did force her into a corner saying no in that situation is incredibly awkward to the point that most people couldn't bring themselves to do it and now as she said she feels kind of trapped into it because all those people saw her say yes and all got excited about it not gonna lie i did the same thing too young and she ended up breaking it off not saying that's gonna happen to you but the yes in that case didn't mean a lot she just felt compelled to say yes a little background here is that i make around 250 000 a year my fiancee makes around 65 000 a year we've both been divorced i asked for a prenup protecting my existing assets two rental properties worth around four hundred thousand together my retirement account my house which i live existing savings account and just sentimental things i offered to pay for a lawyer for her and make anything earned after the wedding fair game in a divorce split in my previous divorce my ex took a lot that i had before we ever even met each other and took a lot of things with sentimental value just to hurt me i floated the idea of a prenup and she was not okay with it it hurt her feelings and she said i was planning for a divorce if i want to prenup she had this idea that when we marry everything becomes ours we've been dating for four years and had very few bumps so i don't see a super high risk of divorce but i do acknowledge it's there anyways i love her and i said sure fast forward a couple months her grandmother abruptly died wasn't expected grandmother was quite healthy before had a heart attack apparently the grandmother left the entire estate to her worth roughly eight hundred thousand dollars now the tables have turned and she wants a prenup protecting these assets from me which i was fine with but she doesn't want to sign my prenup in return for that her reasoning is that her grandmother wouldn't have wanted her wealth to leave her direct family and that there's a reason it was all left to me and not my siblings or parents and that's prenup must not have been important to me because i threw out the idea after minimal pushback i'm at a loss here in one regard i'm glad we had prenup discussions because it brought out these sides of us but i'm really wondering this four-year relationship that has been full of nothing but love and support for each other until now is even salvageable she's not willing to budge on her own prenup like i was and i'm finding the whole situation very frustrating maybe highlight the fact that she said that a prenup meant that there was a plan for divorce ask her how your request is different from if you planned on keeping your wealth and assets in your direct family too a compromise will definitely be needed from your fiance don't budge on your prenup it's reasonable she should understand where you're coming from especially since she seems to feel the same about protecting important assets there's hostility because of the prenups it's definitely worth waiting until it's resolved before moving ahead with the wedding my daughter is a handful to say the very least not in a sense of being a bad kid or anything along those lines she actually listens really well and is super respectful and overall an extremely sweet and loving kid however she has a really bad habit of not wanting to do anything for herself like to a point where she doesn't even want to pick out her own clothing but will ridicule anything and everything i choose her father and i split up four years ago and after two years he basically stopped making any attempt to see her she's taking this fairly okay so she says but i know for a fact that the damage is a lot more than she makes it out to be especially being a daddy's girl so she only sees him maybe twice a year and this is only when her grandmother his mom asks to have her for the weekend he lives back at home with mommy pays no rent no child support and is unemployed so he literally has no excuse to not see her but when she's there he doesn't hang out with her or anything it's very traumatic for her as her mother i can see that now i will begin to get her on track and have her start doing things for herself she will be doing so fantastic but then like clockwork her dad and grandmother swoop in and destroy it they tell her princesses don't need to do anything for themselves and do everything for her including tying her shoes so when she comes back home all the progress has made a complete 180. so her grandmother and dad had her for the first time this year about two weeks ago when she came home all progress was lost and she refused to do anything she wouldn't tie her shoes comb her hair pick out her clothes unpack her bag nothing so i calmly told her that i would not be doing these things for her and if she does not do them for herself they will not be done she freaked out this is a first she started screaming about how her daddy told her that i should be doing more for her and how i am neglectful of her needs not even kidding you she really screamed this in my face so me in complete shock and pure irritation said actually you are going to do these for yourself and to be completely honest with you i don't care in the least what your father has told you who's raising you amber me or him do you want to be dependent on me for the rest of your life and neglect are you flipping serious do you even know what that means i did swear at her i was heated i later apologized and i spoke to her dad who told me that what happened at his house wasn't my concern and that she's too perfect to do stuff for herself my mom who was present for this told me that i am an idiot for freaking out the way i did i feel like an idiot but at the same time i feel like something needed to be said no you are not the idiot he's messing with her head to get back at you i have a feeling lawyers need to be involved and make it very clear that if he's not paying support he doesn't get unsupervised visitation also screw the grandmother as apparently she couldn't raise her son properly don't swear at your kid but don't let the ex alienate her okay so this happened last night and i'm posting because i'm truly baffled by the entire experience i 21 female i'm dating howie 22 male who comes from a very wealthy family well i come from a poor family since i've started dating howie i've been blessed with the opportunity to move out continue schooling and learn how to manage my finances with the help of howie and his family because of this i'm more comfortable financially than my sister jill 23 which has led me to being able to help her in the past any time she needs financial assistance in march jill planned and paid for a vacation for spring break but global situation caused her to have to reschedule to leave this friday jill has also been receiving 750 a week for unemployment since april the problem arose when she didn't get her employment this week due to some issue with the system which meant she couldn't go on her trip because she didn't have any money she also couldn't get any refunds for her flights or hotel so she was looking at losing a thousand dollars if she didn't go which i sympathize with so last night jill messaged howie on facebook and basically said i need you to loan me 750 for my vacation and i will pay you back when my unemployment comes in also don't get mad at opie because she doesn't know i'm asking you when howie told me this i was speechless i never expected her to ever ask him for that kind of money let alone go behind my back to do it well howie may come from a rich family he does not have unlimited resources and has a strict budget he has to follow every month jill is also notorious for not paying people back especially her family not to mention jill has never once tried to establish a bond of any form with howie in the two years that we've been together with this being the first time jill has ever tried to communicate with howie it made him feel like she only cared about him for his money not him as a person i decided to handle the situation so how he wouldn't have to i thought it was best to wait until this morning to respond to her i sent her a text basically saying that while i sympathized with your situation it was wrong for you to go behind my back and ask my boyfriend for that kind of money for a vacation i am hurt that you didn't even try to talk to me about it because you know i would do anything to help you even if that means splitting my last 400 dollars between us so that you can have money to go on your trip she responded by saying if i can't come to you guys then you shouldn't tell me that you would help me if i ever needed it don't worry i'll never ask you guys for anything again now we've told her in the past that we would help her if she ever needed it but we meant for emergencies not like hey i blew through fifteen hundred dollars this month and now i'm broke so i can't go on my vacation unless you help me apparently that is not how she sees it [Music] you

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Keywords: askreddit, r/askreddit, reddit, askwomen, reddit women, askreddit real voice, reddit stories, justnomil, r/aita, r/tifu, reddit family money, reddit pay off, reddit college fund, reddit relationship, reddit aita, reddit family drama, reddit grand baby, reddit family again, reddit cut contact, reddit no contact

Id: JjgmBZvVljk

Length: 20min 1sec (1201 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 25 2021