Mom Demands My Sister & Her Kids Move To My New House Now Bc I'm Selfish For Not Funding My Sister

what is your most entitled sibling story i'm a 32 year old woman and i just bought my first house it has three bedrooms a yard and is just what i need right now i'm single and have two dogs my sister is has three children and lives in a two-bedroom apartment lately she's been talking about how such a tiny living space is not enough for the four of them when she got to know about the house i had bought she became very upset and told me i was being wasteful as i'm single and don't have kids and therefore don't need such a big space i reminded her that what i do with my hard-earned money is none of her business she went on to complain to her mother about how selfish i'm being yesterday evening i got a call from my mom telling me i should let my sister and her kids move into my house my house i told her that no one was going to live in the house that i paid for but me and that extra space would be great for my dogs to play in my mom got very upset with me and told me i was being unreasonable that my sister's kids are growing and need the space more than my dogs i offered to help my sister out financially so she could rent a bigger place my mom got my sister on the phone who shot down the idea telling me i needed to let her and her kids live in my house when i refused again she very generously suggested a compromise i could live in the house with her and her kids and would not have to find somewhere else to live she said this as if she was doing me a favor i told her she had lost her mind and hung up am i the idiot or is she i know my sister's struggling financially but this kind of entitlement is ridiculous info did i read that correctly she offered to let you stay in your house once she moved into it as a compromise a house that you paid for yes earlier her intention was for only her and her kids to live there and i would live somewhere else not the idiot do not let her move in even temporarily i made the mistake of allowing my mom and little sister to move in with me when i bought a large house and it was one of the worst mistakes of my life the stress they will put on you and the total disregard they will have for your house will cause nothing but issues backing this up one of my best friends allowed her brother and his girlfriend to move into her home's basement apartment against her better judgment in over a year they almost never paid the 600 in rent they were supposed to claimed never to have any money because she refused to get a job then they got a thousand dollar puppy that wasn't allowed eventually did a midnight run and left the place destroyed and full of garbage and dog feces if the sister feels this entitled to the home you bought she probably will not treat it with much reference background my parents have always treated my oldest brother edward 40 like he was the son and we merely existed to orbit around him they did things to make sure my other brother jake 36 and i 33 male knew he was the favored child things like get a peanut butter cake for jake's birthday because it's edward's favorite even though jake's allergic to peanuts more than one christmas where he was the only one to receive a gift made me give him some of my birthday money because he was sad he didn't get any as soon as jake turned 18 he left and i left soon after edward threatened me with a knife when he found out i was gay my parents acted like it was no big deal eight years ago edward apparently got married in vegas cut to the present edward's wife has put up with a lot of crap over the last eight years like stuff no one should ever have to put up with from a spouse she was in a bad accident last year that nearly paralyzed her she's worked so hard and she only requires a crutch now edward has not been supportive he's done nothing but complain and call sister-in-law lazy for not working the hours she used to or do all the cleaning he thinks he's too good to work or clean or you know do anything to justify being able to call himself an adult sister-in-law filed for divorce last month and she's been staying with my husband and i edward called every day leaving nasty messages sister-in-law has said she stayed longer than she should have that she wanted to prove her horrible dad wrong but she just traded one nasty man for another we have edward blocked on all our devices my parents called and complained to me about how i needed to protect my brother and what a good brother he's always been to me after all these years of them always defending him i lost it and told them he was a narcissistic idiot and their bad parenting made him that way he'd never been a good brother just like they'd never been good parents i listed off several things he'd done that made him a piece of crap and how they were terrible for defending him i told them to go crawl back up edward and never contact me again my aunt called me and told me while she completely understood why i was angry at edward i was an idiot for talking to my parents that way i think they needed the wake-up call but i thought i'd put it out there for you to judge i really don't get that you have to be nice to everyone ever mentality some people have like no one should ever reach breaking point and be harsh with someone who has mistreated them for ages like it's fine for the other person to be an idiot for years but the second the person taking the mistreatment does anything in response they are out of line sure they spent your entire life ostracizing you and your brother and raised the devil's own idiot but how dare you say anything mean to them me and my little sister i've never really got on if i'm honest i'll admit i was a right toe rag tearaway in my youth and she was very straight laced and quite conservative she disapproved of a lot of my lifestyle choices and honestly i just thought she was a bit wet our relationship for a long time was basically civil when we have to see each other but don't make any effort outside of that things change when she had kids her eldest and my middle are the same age and get on really well so we kind of put our differences aside for the kid's sake my sister's youngest recently came out as non-binary now i'm an old fart and i won't pretend i fully understand it although i've been reading and learning i just know that the kid has asked to be called by a different name and for us to use they and them pronouns and that's easy done in my bug as far as i'm concerned they're still the same person they've always been we just call them something different now their mom unfortunately doesn't really agree she absolutely refuses to use they in them pronouns uses kids death name all the time and keeps saying that it's just a silly phase they rang me on facetime the other day absolutely beside themself about it saying they don't feel safe or comfortable at home anymore and i'm the only family member who has really been supportive and open to them coming out i said if that's the case and they feel unwelcome at their moms i'm more than happy for them to come and stay with me i said they don't have to tolerate their mom misgendering them constantly and that it isn't right for her to do so i suppose they mentioned it to their mom because she rang me all blazing talking about me encouraging silly childish behavior and how i shouldn't be going along with their pretend games she even got her mom and dad and her oldest involved and they agree with her with dads throwing in comments about how i'm poisoning my sister's kids against her what i'm asking here is did i say the wrong thing i don't think i did but as i say with my sister and nephew and parents all telling me i did i'm starting to second guess myself you are not wrong in a million years thank you for being an accepting ray of sunshine and support during this child's life right now this is when they will need you the most please stand your ground even if it means costing your relationship with your sister it could save a kid's life i had my daughter a week ago i had chosen her name a long while ago because it had a very personal meaning for me before i was pregnant my sister and i had been talking about what we'd like to name our kids and i told her the girl name i really wanted to use she complimented me on it and then we didn't talk about it again she gave birth to my niece five months ago and guess what name she used that's right the name i had chosen so long ago i didn't care was a little annoyed by it but i wasn't going to let it stop me from using the name now she's annoyed i used the name too she told me it was weird that i would use it and let the cousins have the same first middle and last name i told her i wasn't going to change the name i had wanted for a long time that had a deep meaning for me just because she decided to use it after i told her the name she said as the first one to have a baby she got dibs i told her to get over it and it was a name anyone could use i don't think she's an idiot for your info i think she's entitled to use the name but she's kind of being nasty when she knows how i felt about the name my husband took my name when we got married and my sister is a single mom hence the same name we live two hours from each other the first name was my best friend's name she died when we were kids and i always planned to name a daughter after her to honor her so it's very special the middle name holds important significance due to a trauma i suffered and the healing it brought in a situation the discussion was three years ago it was the full name i mentioned all of this you are not wrong but your sister is for both using a name she knew you planned to use and for being angry that you used it anyway my husband's older brother died when my husband was a child and he has always wanted to name his first son after him when i was pregnant with our first son my husband told his parents and siblings that we would like to use his older brother's name that we would have absolutely no problem if anyone else wanted to use his name for their children and if they had any concerns none of them wanted to use it but it really wouldn't be a big deal if they did to me the biggest grievance here is your sister being angry that you moved ahead with your plans she can't use a name she knew you were planning to use and then be angry with you about the natural outcome of her decision i am hoping to get married next year my parents have been talking about my wedding a lot mostly my mom and they want me to invite my older siblings i told them no i didn't want to invite them my mom says she wants to see all her kids together again and she wants me to make my best effort to mend the relationship between them and i but the history here makes me not want to my mom is their mom but my dad is not their dad their dad passed away when they were all very young still little kids my mom married my dad after three years and i was born a couple months after their wedding my whole childhood they rejected me they treated me like i was a strain on their lives more than once they lashed out at me verbally for merely trying to show love or affection to them it didn't even have to be for something i did all it took was me being in the room they were punished for being mean and bullying me but it didn't help and neither did therapy and it would get so bad even school work like doing a family tree would make them mad at me i was left with them a few times and they would force me to stay in my room while they did their own thing it did not get better when they were older not that they were around much but the rare times they would show up for her mom or even for a function for extended family they would ignore me or say hurtful things like i should not have been born and they wouldn't love me even if i was the cutest kid in the world mostly they went out of their way so we didn't cross paths they didn't acknowledge me as part of their family and i'm pretty sure they haven't thought about me in years my mom has never given up hope that things would get better but they've made it clear they have no interest in me two of them are married and invited my mom never me or my dad my mom is a grandma three times and only she has met them when i graduated high school and sent them invites they never responded and didn't show the last christmas i saw them was my final year of high school they showed up with gifts for all our cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents but nothing for me they handed them out to everyone in front of me too and it made it very obvious that they weren't excluding me my grandparents confronted them and so did my mom but all they did was offer to leave because they would never get me a present so with all of this i don't want to invite them i've no interest in chasing them or being the one making all the effort my parents think i should try and it would make me the bigger person i gotta be honest it's still so hurts and i'm 25 years old and nothing has changed my whole life of course i would love my siblings to love me too but they don't and i don't want to expose myself to more hurt and rejection am i wrong if i don't invite them the mom is clearly the issue though look at the timeline older kid's dad dies three years later she remarried a couple months later opie is born i don't know how soon she started dating opi's dad but even if he was the nicest guy ever there's absolutely no info on the parents here which is suspect they probably hated the fact that he existed at all because they were kids who only wanted their real dad the way it is presented the marriage between opie's parents happened at least when it did because of the pregnancy the older kids blame opie for being the reason that their mom got remarried which they didn't want to happen so they banded together and took the anger they felt towards the adults out on the new baby because easy target and what did mom do ostensibly nothing i know it said therapy and punishments didn't help but how could they when they lived with a mom who's so selfish and unaware unconcerned there's a lot more she could have done over the years to make her older kids aware that their behavior will not be tolerated like maybe telling them they are not invited to events anymore if they cannot at least be kind but no there is seemingly no consequences and look at how she's now treating opie she wants all her kids together so op has to sacrifice the one who has been mistreated and neglected has to offer the olive branch that's delusional how much you want to bet when her first husband died it was a similar situation wanting her young kids to get over their emotions so that she could just forget the past and move forward opie is still not wrong those siblings are adults now and there's no excuse for them to not have worked through their own crap by now but all of this falls squarely on the mom's shoulders my 25 female great-grandma was an amazing seamstress but i was unfortunately the last great-grandchild she saw born before she passed away my sister 21 was born after she passed when my mom was pregnant with me she made these sets of baby clothes blankets and shoes my mother brought me home wearing those clothes and wrapped in that blanket when my sister was born she did the same thing when we were young my sister wanted to frame the clothes or something and my parents were like oh you'll have to ask op it's her stuff after all that shocked the hell out of my sister after much crying she tried to convince me to give her half of the set i said no at one point she stole it and it took me weeks to get it back from her luckily it's fine but it's in my apartment instead of my parents house now my sister is currently two weeks from her due date basically she's ready to give birth any day now she randomly brings up oh you'll let me borrow this stuff great grandma right at a family dinner i turn her down and she's very upset i don't mind letting my niece wear them is just that i know she won't give them back to me she took them once and if i let her borrow it it'll turn into i wore it when i was a baby my daughter wore it too it means so much to me would you mind if i kept it i won't see it again i'm currently the bad guy for upsetting a pregnant woman so yeah edit too since a lot of people requested it it's a personalized set with my initials sewn into them my older cousins also got sets with their initials as well if their parents had picked out the name by then you are not wrong i had some of this drama too with my sister and our grandparents stuff she's managed to lose my grandma's special made engagement ring that i was promised would be mine since it's very unique and i was very close with my grandma tell her you do not give her permission at all and if she wants pictures of her daughter in the garment say that you must be there for it and it can only be used during the photo shoot that way you're in control of the outfit and she can have pictures of her daughter in the outfit and you know she can't steal them if you don't feel comfortable with that then tell her they are very fragile and you are paying to have them preserved in a special storage box and you can't break the seal my brother is from my mother's first marriage and is 10 years older than me i'm 25 right now and getting married pretty soon obviously it's a small thing my brother who's 36 had been married with his ex-wife for about 13 years they don't have kids because they were child free i'm very close to his ex-wife let's say rose how could i not she's been in my life since i was a kid but like three months ago everything came crushing down apparently my brother had gotten another woman pregnant and rose found out he left her for his mistress who's almost ready to give birth i'm extremely disgusted with my brother for one cheating is disgusting and second i legitimately love rose's family and seeing her heard is unbearable my brother has brought his new girlfriend around since restrictions have been lifted i don't know i don't seem to be able to get warm towards her especially because she knew of rose's existence this weekend i came to the decision that i don't want my brother at my wedding rose had told me it would hurt too much to come but that she would make it up to me i don't want to see my brother there i don't want to get to know his girlfriend my fiance is on board with that decision my family however disagrees they say that this situation has nothing to do with me and while i can say no plus one from my brother i can't prohibit my brother to come to his only sister's wedding my brother is apparently very hurt and has called me crying but i don't know i don't want to am i the idiot not the idiot it's perfectly reasonable that you don't want your brother's cheating drama as a distraction at your wedding it might be a different story if you weren't inviting him to family christmas but a wedding is about making a faithful commitment and i can see how his presence might taint the atmosphere [Music]

Channel: ASK GURL

Views: 156,098

Rating: 4.8648252 out of 5

Keywords: askreddit, r/askreddit, reddit, askwomen, reddit women, askreddit real voice, reddit stories, justnomil, r/aita, r/tifu, reddit house, reddit bought house, reddit sister move in, reddit mom demands, reddit new house, reddit sister kids, reddit childfree, reddit financial, reddit money, reddit child free, reddit caregiving

Id: h5Y8bvLu_3E

Length: 19min 48sec (1188 seconds)

Published: Sat Mar 06 2021