Turns Out My Boyfriend Is My Stepsister's EX & She Says He Cheated On Me With HER & She's Pregnant

so i met my 25 female boyfriend tim 26 male 3 and a half years ago we hit it off he was great and sweet and we got along perfectly until i introduced him to my family my mother had gotten remarried a few months earlier i like my stepdad and we get along fine my stepsister sarah who's 26 and we we're friendly but not besties by any means she's kind of intense party girl and being in her 20s we only saw each other at family events so i introduced him to my family at which point we learned that sarah used to date tim when they were 20. it was only a few months and tim said they broke up because she made out with another guy at a nightclub while drunk sarah got upset and started saying i had to break up with him because it was weird she called tim her sloppy seconds and tried to get our parents to force us to break up i said no it'd been years since they'd been together and i didn't even know sarah when she was dating tim i got pretty upset because my family jumped on the bandwagon of saying we should break up for the past few years at any family gathering sarah would mention how they used to date and act like i stole her boyfriend and has been selling that narrative to my family and friends it became obvious that she was jealous but i liked tim so we just ignored it and kept dating so now a few years later tim and i live together and we've been talking about marriage and stuff and i recently had a conversation with my mom and how i thought tim was gonna propose because he's not exactly subtle and we've talked about this for a while at which point sarah who just moved back in with our parents walked in she started asking a bunch of invasive questions about our relationship and being weird sarah is four months pregnant the father she said was some deadbeat guy she'd hooked up with who wants nothing to do with her but she wants to keep the baby i'd been making an effort taking her to appointments and offering to help babysit and trying to be excited for her until a week ago when my stepdad sent me a long text saying how i can't marry tim because he is the real father of sarah's baby i was immediately very upset and confronted tim who was completely shocked and said sarah was lying he said there's no way and he didn't cheat on me and he would gladly have a paternity test to prove that unsure i asked sarah for more details about when they slept together which she says happened a few times she was shaky and went back and forth on details the dates and times don't match up with what i can remember of what tim and i have been doing she also said she came to her house to see him but since global issue i've been working from home so i can't imagine that they managed that i'm pretty sure now that she's lying to get us to break up because she's still jealous but now my family is involved and have been sending me hateful messages saying i need to break up with tim and let him be with sarah she's telling everyone he's in love with her and i'm keeping him from her she's no proof and he strictly denied everything i texted her asking for proof of any of this happening and she sent me some fake photoshop screenshots that i can tell are fake where she put tim's name over a friend's number and pretended he was messaging her i checked and the friends all but admitted to me and tried to laugh it off she badly photoshopped the time stamps i actually don't know what to do now i believed him and we are still together but this has kinda thrown a wedge in everything sarah has poisoned my relationship with our parents and my family i feel sick to my stomach and sarah's now saying she won't give me a paternity test for now i've cut everyone off except tim but i don't know what to do now you can have tim file a paternity action in court based on the accusations then a court order would force sarah into admitting that she's lying i like this because it also can give you definite proof to your family as well although i'm not sure if this is sustainable for y'all once you know for sure it may be time to reduce contact with your family if he's willing to do it i think i believe him but no one in your family will truly let it go and hopefully apologize until you can point to a paternity test unless taking action in court scares her into admitting it but man screw this lady i 32 female have always been horrified by the idea of pregnancy and giving birth sounds very traumatizing and i don't want to go through that experience i still want to experience being a mother and would like to adopt children when i'm ready my husband 34 knew this from the start and was okay with it my family knows as well and are fine with it my husband's family on the other hand is disgusted by the idea of not having a biological kid they have been nagging us for years until i eventually cracked about a year ago we were having dinner together until of course the nagging of when are you guys planning on having kids i told them that i was infertile and i was never going to have biological kids i'm not infertile i should have checked with my husband before i said that but i was so tired of the nagging he followed along and we both left after that the topic of trying ivf or more has come up but rarely and spending time with my husband's family has become so much more bearable on to the situation about two months ago i accidentally got pregnant i won't go into details i saw a doctor and i was about six weeks in i got scheduled for a termination just three days ago at the time my husband didn't want me to not wanting a biokid was one thing but getting rid of our child after i was pregnant was different for him i told him i was sorry but i'm not willing to go through pregnancy and birth so i went through with it the day after i got the procedure i got a call from my mother-in-law she screamed at me for lying to her and getting rid of her unborn grandbaby i was really confused about how she knew i later talked to my husband about it he said he told her he said he was upset at me for making him lie to his family but my family got to know about everything that it wasn't fair i was treating his family like such a burden and it isn't fair to them they're allowed to know about the termination of my family knows we fought for a while and he went to go stay with his mom for a few days so we could both cool down since then i've also gotten calls from a few other of his family members telling me i was in the wrong now i'm starting to wonder if i was wrong for lying to his family and making him lie too i'm wondering if making him lie without talking to him was unfair to him and that i should have put more consideration into his opinion of the termination am i wrong everyone's wrong here you shouldn't have started the lie but you shouldn't have had to his family had no business commenting on your reproduction and your husband should have shut it down before you kind of snapped and lied however the pregnancy or not while ultimately your choice was a big event in your husband's life and he is entitled to reach out to loved ones during difficult times it shouldn't have ended up with mother-in-law contacting you about it but it's nasty of you to expect your husband to keep secrets about his life to support your lie this is a sticky one opie and i feel sorry for your husband but it sounds like everyone involved could work on boundaries well op clearly wants children but doesn't feel able to go through a pregnancy or birth it doesn't seem to be a choice but a genuine phobia that means she does have fertility issues and will struggle to have children naturally even though there's nothing physically wrong with her lady bits when i was young my mom married my stepdad who also had a daughter for the purpose of this post we'll call her emma me and emma have never gotten along when i was 22 i finally went no contact with her the straw that finally broke the camel's back was when she gleefully announced she was pregnant with my then fiance on christmas day that was honestly one of the worst times in my life and it took me a really long time to recover from the betrayal emma ended up marrying my ex and they have a little boy together i'm currently 28 and engaged to a wonderful man who's a lot better than my ex ever was emma and my ex ended up divorcing after three years and she now lives with my mom and step my fiance has family in italy who he'd like me and my parents to meet before the wedding the original plan was to go this summer but obviously with global situation our plans got put on hold i was discussing the plans to reschedule for next year with my mom recently and she asked me if i was going to invite emma and her son along i told her i wasn't and she asked me to reconsider because she didn't think my stepdad would come otherwise that's fine with me it's really my mom and dad that my fiance wants to introduce to his family she argued emma has matured since becoming a mom and getting divorced and that she wants to attempt to have a relationship with me when i told her i wasn't interested she said i was putting her in an awkward position and that i was taking my half-sister and stepbrother on my dad's side so she felt like i was favoring him my step-brother is literally the person who introduced me to my fiance and my half-sister and i are close she said it's unfair because emma could never afford a trip like this on her own and my nephew would be the one to miss out on bonding time with his cousins she asked me to reconsider before she left and has only replied to my texts to ask if i've changed my mind i'm starting to feel guilty because i know mine and emma's dislike for one another has put a massive strain on my mom's marriage and it's not fair to her my mom's sisters have also called me to ask me to change my mind i'm starting to worry my mom might not come either with how cold she's being my full sister has also reached out and told me emma has been going to therapy and has realized that what she did was horrible and that i should consider forgiving her because she was going through a lot of her own issues depression and low self-esteem at the time and that my ex also made her suffer a lot too realistically if she came on the trip i could just avoid her the entire time but i also don't know if she has changed or if she'll start up her old tricks again my fiance is also the one paying for the trip and i selfishly don't want him to pay for her am i the idiot not the idiot if she's changed that much why hasn't she reached out to you herself if you choose to build a relationship with her then that can be done at home she doesn't need a holiday paid for to do that if your mom puts you in an awkward situation and won't choose to come along then i just leave her behind apart from it being totally understandable why you don't want her there i'm also shocked at the sense of entitlement from your mother regards to getting your fiance to pay for her and her son to go because they couldn't afford it themselves you are not the idiot it's unfortunate that your mom feels stuck in the middle but some things are unforgivable it's nice that emma realizes what she did was awful good for her hopefully she becomes a less terrible person that does not need to be rewarded with an all-expenses-paid trip to italy if your stepdad is incapable of confronting that emma's actions to you were monstrous it's unfortunate he won't be able to attend assure your mom that all the step siblings on your dad's side who announced that they had gotten themselves pregnant by your eso in the middle of a holiday dinner also aren't coming my wife and i had our daughter six months ago and yesterday night was going to be our first night to ourselves since her mom offered to babysit at their house we're both new parents things have been chaotic our little angel is teething and we haven't known a good night's sleep in months we haven't had much time for ourselves as a couple so having one whole evening of baby care off our hands felt like a blessing we were both excited for thursday when it came around close to 3 p.m my wife asked me if it's all right if she goes to her friend's house for a girls night instead by now her parents have already stopped by and taken her daughter back to their place the fact that she brought this up last minute bothered me i said this was supposed to be for us and i've been looking forward to it all week she looked sympathetic and said she understands but it's been months since she spent any time with her best friend and really needs this me time and okay i get it she deserved a break but i feel like i had a right to be at least a little disappointed my wife said i should go to my brothers and do her own thing but i didn't after she left i decided to drive to her parents house to pick up my daughter i wasn't in the mood to do anything and wanted to be home so there was no point in them babysitting if i wasn't going to spend the night with my wife i'd rather be with my daughter then my father-in-law was confused i was there so early to pick her up when we'd agreed we'd come together at 11 pm i explained my wife's change of plans and figured i might as well take my daughter home my wife got back around 10 and she confronted me because i guess her mom sent her a text message nothing offensive just that she didn't think it was fair she changed the plans her and i agreed on when they offered to babysit so we can spend time together her mom did say it's perfectly reasonable to want to be away from the family and go hang out with friends but not when it was supposed to be our time she said i purposely made her look bad and i made myself out to be the victim by picking our daughter up early and not having my own fun when i could have just as easily had a guy's night too that i made myself seem like the poor husband stuck at home with baby while wife has fun i tried to back myself up but clearly our conversation went nowhere we haven't talked since last night and i'm still wondering if i did something wrong should i have not said anything to my in-laws or did what she said and went out i mean i was disappointed she chose our first night off to go be with her friends and my mood was ruined but i didn't do all this to make her look bad am i the idiot not the idiot if she wanted a girl's night then she could have asked you to watch the baby and you would have said yes without giving her a hard time right her parents took the baby for you two to have the day together what she did was super inconsiderate and sucky my 55 male wife of two years 31 is very unhappy with her life because she feels like there's never anything fun or important to do she did not finish college and feels too old to do so so jobs are also out of the question so it's no wonder that when her sister said she wanted to start her own boutique and take my wife on as a business partner that my wife's moods start drastically shifting upwards starting a boutique is rather costly and it's been tough to get investment on their end because potential investors are saying that there are too many boutiques but i believe in their passion and think that this if it worked out would be a good chance for my wife to feel like she's doing something meaningful i'm not terribly liquid right now but it will be another four years before my daughter goes to college so i ended up investing thirty thousand dollars from the fund that her late mother and i put together i told her and she was furious with me and kept trashing my wife's business idea saying it was dumb and she was dumb am i the idiot it's not like my daughter is going to college soon but right now i really want to make my wife happy and not go into an early midlife crisis because she feels powerless in her life she said herself this was a chance for her to do something important for her life oh i'm hearing something a message from the other side it's your late wife she's speaking to me she's saying uh uh something no wait she's saying idiot why the heck are you sacrificing our child's future for your new floozy you are wrong and what a piece of work you are stealing from your own child are you dressing her in rags and calling her cinderella too i want to disclaim this by saying i don't feel like i'm wrong but some of my friends told me that his mother is grieving as am i mostly i don't need this on my conscience so please judge me honestly male 27 was in a relationship with eric male 28 for the past four years i love him i honestly and truly do and this has been the most sacred relationship i've ever been in the love i have for him can easily exceed this 3 000 word limit he died a month ago if i sound weird about it i'm sorry but i miss him and i don't really want to accept that he's gone eric's mother disowned him when he was outed back in 2008. he lived with a friend of his for a while and then got his own apartment and we met in senior year of university talked on and off fell in love we dated his dad who passed away shortly after we began dating was on good terms with me and him and gave eric two old engagement rings that's from his mom and dad eric's grandparents in case marriage was ever a thing eric and me never wanted to marry but last year we put a chain through each ring and wore them as necklaces and they were our promise to each other okay two years ago though eric and his mother began talking i'll admit i don't really like her for what she put eric through but i met her once or twice and was civil enough but it wasn't like i was dying for her approval when he died i didn't know what to do here is where my bad behavior might begin the engagement ring that he wore i added it to my chain so i wear both as a necklace well his mother came by yesterday to take some of his belongings for sentimental purposes we texted and agreed on that so it's not like i'm mind with everything and she asked me if i was going to give her the necklace i told her that no i wasn't and she began arguing with me saying i had no right to withhold this from her and that it was stolen from the family and that it was a reminder of both her husband and her son and i was a complete idiot and i needed to hand her the necklace over or at least both rings and i refused because it's my necklace and he was my boyfriend she got mad and said i can't believe my son loved that fruity and i snapped and told her to get out and slammed the door shut eric's brother messaged me on facebook to tell me i'm an insensitive prick and that they were all grieving the loss of their son and my friends pointed out that too and i can't tell if grief and resentment is making me blind to this so am i the idiot edit one seeing of talk about the will eric left a percentage to a local lgbt youth shelter everything else goes to me i didn't include this earlier because i want to know morally where i stand you are not the idiot it was given to the both of you by a family member and they weren't hers his mother has her own husband's ring to remember him by she doesn't need her in-laws rings too she doesn't need these rings to remember the son she had by but going by her prior actions it sounds like she needs these rings to not be in the hands of her son's boyfriend in order to remember the son she wanted by them just think if she can get them out of opi's grasp retroactively precious memory son can have just had a roommate maybe even a poignant little story of how tragic it is that he didn't meet the right woman for these rings before his untimely passing at best she's not really thinking it's true and is just looking to win but a probably not carefully thought out but deeply motivated whitewash of her memory of her son seems very much on the table you

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Id: my9Y7rAK7yk

Length: 20min 35sec (1235 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 25 2021