I bought every weird ad I saw for a month

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The sequel we didn't know we wanted. I'll watch it asap

👍︎︎ 6 👤︎︎ u/allieshouts 📅︎︎ Aug 24 2021 🗫︎ replies

yess his other video like this is one of my favorites

👍︎︎ 6 👤︎︎ u/JaydenIsAPerson 📅︎︎ Aug 24 2021 🗫︎ replies

Haha I got pinned

👍︎︎ 1 👤︎︎ u/harry4354 📅︎︎ Aug 26 2021 🗫︎ replies
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- Hey, guy. Remember a couple of months ago when I wasted like $1000 on what ended up being almost entirely a bunch of junk? Well, I'm doing that again. It's not that I don't want to save my money, it's that saving money is boring. Why would I let it sit in some bank account all day when I could be investing it in garbage? So for the past few weeks I've been saving all of my favorite weirdass Instagram ads and today I will go through them and charge a concerning amount of money to my credit card. (upbeat music) Now, one of the things I bought last time were $89 joggers which, believe it or not, I'm actually wearing right now. Jealous? But my biggest fear in life, besides burning to death, is that one day my pants are gonna fall down in the middle of a grocery store exposing my bare butt and balls to everyone there, even the manager. If that happened, I would have to move to a brand new city and moving is expensive. So the better solution is to buy a belt and I've got the perfect one in mind. - [Narrator] I've been obsessed with belts for a long time, I wear a belt every day. - Hold on. You're obsessed with belts? I like belts. They get the job done. But I wouldn't exactly say I'm obsessed with them. I'm not lying awake at night just thinking about belts. - [Narrator] So the belt's really cool because it solves those exact three problems. There's no holes, there's no flap, and it's super flat, like low profile. - And it looks dorky as hell. What a buildup. You've got the inspirational music in the background, all the nonsensical buzzwords. - [Narrator] The webbing's a military webbing that we have custom made for us. It's rated at like 3000 pounds, it's got just a ton of strength. - What does that even mean? If I'm getting hit by 3000 pounds of force, the last thing I'm worried about is the strength of my belt buckle. - The buckle that goes with it is an aerospace-grade aluminum. - Again, that does not matter. These words mean nothing. I do not need military-grade steel around my waist. Hey, do like my belt? Not really. Well, what if I told you that this is the same steel they use to make spaceships? I would be confused? - [Narrator] We actually make them ourselves, like in our shop. You can make like 45 combinations, like 3000 pounds. - This guy really knows his stuff and that's why I feel comfortable buying one for $35. I figure, though, if I'm gonna buy one of these, I might as well go all in on the absurdity and get red. Not a normal color like black or brown, I'm talking bright fucking red. I want people to see my big dumb astronaut belt from miles away. So this next one I've seen a bunch and it's really not surprising to me. I spend most of my time sitting on my ass, sometimes 'cause I have to but usually because I want to. And with that comes the occasional lower back pain. Solution? Lay down on a tire and roll back and forth. - [Narrator] What is the difference between a foam roller and a Chirp Wheel? - I know! The foam roller is longer. (bubble wrap crackling) That's a lot of pop. - [Narrator] Well, slap my mama and- - $99 for three little wheels? Wait, so this deal is part of a Summer Black Friday Sale? First of all, it's Thursday. Second of all, you can't just make up holidays. You know how many birthdays I'd give myself if you could? All of them. Every day's my birthday. So for 99 bucks I can get just the three wheels or I can get the Ultimate Back Pain Bundle, guaranteed to give you back pain. So I think I'm gonna have to do that. It also comes with a carrying case. Where do you think I'm gonna take these? The mall? Go ahead and grab a spot in line, babe. I gotta roll around in the bathroom. And the last thing in the bundle is the posture corrector which sounds menacing, honestly. There's no explanation on how it works, there's not even a picture of someone wearing it, so I have no clue what to expect or how to use it but I guess I'll find out. So at this point it's become clear to me that the algorithm is very aware of my shitty back because the very next day I got an ad for a nearly identical product but this one, I can put on my chair. (relaxing music) Decor-Restore-e Spine Natural Posture. I'll go ahead and grab one of these, too, so I can compare it with the other one. 40 bucks, not so bad. Though it doesn't come with a carrying case so I don't know how I'm gonna take this anywhere. Oh, hold on. You've unlocked a special offer. Get our brand new SpineNeck for 40% off. They trademarked that? They trademarked Spine Neck? I don't think anyone was gonna take that from you, but... Neck & Shoulder Muscle Relaxer. Wow! And I don't even need a prescription. Cool. But what does it do? Okay, so you kinda just roll around on it. I like that. Effortlessly ease your pain in 10 just minutes! The SpineNeck creates ultimate relaxation in the neck and shoulder anytime, anywhere. Again, that is not a selling point. I'm not leaving the house with this. Easy to use anywhere, in offices, hotels, car, obviously not while driving. No, I get pretty stressed out when I'm on the highway. I think that's the perfect time to use it. It's like having a personal massager on your hand 24/7. See? Look at this visual representation of that? FAQs. Does it hurt?. Not really. Can we take a nap on this? Who is asking that? Can you use it while sitting? Yes. Can you use it while driving? Hell no. Well, I'm sold. Between this and the other two back products I bought, I'm expecting my scoliosis to be fully cured. For some reason, the next ad I got was for a big ol' backpack which I thought was weird 'cause I'm not in school, I don't go anywhere actually, I haven't been on a flight in like two years, but most importantly, I already have a carrying case for my Chirp Wheels so what else am I gonna have to take with me? But I was so fascinated by the marketing strategy here that I felt compelled to buy one. - The Go Bag from BABOON TO THE MOON. Literally one huge pocket. There's so much space in here. - What? A bag with a pocket? That's crazy. - [Narrator] In addition to this huge pocket, there's also this mesh pocket on the insides. There's this side pocket right here. - Wow. I bet you could put stuff in it. - [Narrator] 10 out of 10 - The bag itself is probably fine but I think this is just a testament to how hard it is to advertise a product that already exists 'cause there's like nothing else to say. Let me tell you guys, this new product from lamp.com is absolutely incredible. If you've never seen one of these, it actually turns on and then light comes out of it. I would turn it on right now but I can't, it's not plugged into anything. They shut the power off in my house. (dial-up modem screeching) Fits one to three days worth of clothing. One to three! You're telling me I might only fit one outfit in here? One shirt, one pant, that's it? No wonder the person on the homepage needs 15 of them, one for every day. This is easily the dumbest product so far. I have no idea why I'm buying this. (gentle music) I've definitely seen this one before. I'm actually pretty excited to try this out. The comments seem very positive, which is good, but that's also misled me in the past so I'll tread carefully. Summer sale, 60% off. I refuse to believe that they ever charged $37 for one of these. That's insane. Also, the 2-pack is the most popular. Why would I need two of 'em? One for each hand? Yeah, that makes sense. Expertly designed to work perfectly on furniture, carpets, dogs, cars, not while driving. Warehouse in Florida. That's where I live. Hell yeah, I can't wait to clean my carpet. Man, what the fuck? I just bought two. I don't need a third one. How are you gonna say this is a very limited one-time offer and then also say that a bunch of people have accepted this offer? It sounds like it's neither limited nor one-time. Liars. This next one isn't weird per se, I've just seen this more and more lately on Instagram and YouTube. If you've listened to any podcast in the past year, you've probably heard about Magic Spoon, the cereal that is supposed to taste just like Froot Loops but without the sugar and the carbs and the toucan on the box. I am really skeptical about this. I feel like it's gonna taste like shit. But even if it doesn't, it's also stupidly expensive. For $39 plus shipping, you can get the variety pack which comes out to about $10 per seven-ounce box. By comparison, you can get a 24-ounce box of Frosted Flakes for $4 from Target. Three times as much food for less than half the price. To be fair, most cereals are just sugary, processed garbage but that's still a pretty substantial price difference. Another reason I'm skeptical is because of the reviews. They have 4.8 out of 5 stars but I'm not 100% certain that they don't do what Moon Pod was doing, which was delete one and two-star reviews from their website like tyrannical cereal overlords. I say this because you can't sort reviews by rating on here so it's really hard to find a negative one but all of the top reviews are littered with downvotes. "Greatest cereal I've ever had," more downvotes than upvotes. "Unbelievably delicious," more downvotes than upvotes. "How is this even possible? No sugar, low carb, packed with protein, and it's yummy?! Is this some kind of trick?!" 500 likes, 900 dislikes. What if I just search the word bad? "Not that bad." Okay, well that didn't work. I don't know. Maybe I'm just jaded by my own negative experiences but I'm a little suspicious. That was gonna be the last one for this video but then I saw one more product that I have to try. - [Narrator] This Hand In Yo Face basketball product simulates true game-like situations when training. It develops not only the ability to shoot over defenders but your focus, confidence, and muscle memory. It's a little paper hand that you tape to your forehead and it flaps around in front of your eyes to make you better at basketball. Brilliant. I saw this because of someone quote tweeting it saying, "Elfrid Payton basically had this for years and it didn't help him." For reference, this was his hairstyle when he played for the Magic. The man was ahead of his time. Even though I already retired from the NBA in 2016, I still like to stay at the top of my game so I think I'm gonna order one of these and give it a shot and see if it actually makes my jump shot better. Plus, I'm always down to support someone's small business so let's do it. Now all I gotta do is wait. (upbeat music) Mail's here. First things first, I gotta get this belt on. Awesome. It came with a sticker but they folded it in half so it's gonna have a big crease down the middle. GRIP6, American made, just like me. Another reminder on this side that it was made in America. We get it, dude. GRIP6 belts are made in the finest American sweatshops. Cool. This right here, that's where the value comes in. They ripped this off of a spaceship just to give it to me. This is one of the first products that I've bought in a long time that didn't come with instructions. I hope it's simple. I guess I'll find out. Um, excuse me. Stop looking at my balls. Obviously I can't go like this 'cause then it's gonna go over the belt buckle and we want people to see the belt buckle. I want people to know that I supported an American company. How the fuck do you put this on? Maybe it goes like that and then... Let me try this again, for the third time, for the fourth time. - [Narrator] There's enough things in life that are super complicated and I like to simplify things down. - You know, this guy made a really big deal about how regular belts are so confusing, people are always struggling. You gotta put the thing through the hole. What if I put it through the wrong one? But this is the dumbest I've ever felt. Failing to put this belt on? Are you kidding me? Does it loop around like that? Is that it? Did I do it? (bell chimes) I cannot believe that I am about to Google how to put on a belt. I'm the dumbest person in the world. Okay, there's a video, how to put it on. This has over 200,000 views so hopefully that means I'm not the only idiot out there. - [Narrator] You've got a buckle and you've got a strap. The strap goes up from the backside of the buckle. You don't wanna do it this way. GRIP6 belt actually goes down into the front. You hold onto the strap just like that. - Next stop, Sex Town. Yeah, I'm gonna fuck the belt. I gotta wear this for a bit and make sure it doesn't loosen itself before I can give my thoughts but it is keeping my pants up. Let me go ahead and do the bag now. Oh, I didn't tell you guys what color I got. Not purple, orange. Orange you glad I bought this? I did end up going with the mini one, this was about 140 bucks. First impressions, uh, it's a bag. Wow. Look at this, guys. Okay, it's got a decent amount of space. I like this branding here that says BABOON TO THE MOON and then I guess their slogan is Get Lost, which I just feel is kinda mean, I guess I'll count how many pockets there are. One, two, you could fit maybe like a water bottle in there. There's some pocket space on the inside here but that's always deceptive because if you fill this big pocket to the brim you're not gonna be able to squeeze anything else into any of these pockets. So, really, I would say this is one big pocket- - One huge pocket. - With a little bit of space up here and then one... This is an extremely standard backpack. It's probably a little thicker than like your normal backpack. They said it's waterproof. That does appear to be true. How's it look? I fell. Filming today was actually really good timing because my back hurts. And, luckily, I have all of these great, wonderful products to choose from that will hopefully not make things worse. Mm, I love that new Chirp Wheel smell. I mean, I do like how everything fits. I am enjoying how organized this looks. Posture corrector, I'll have to try that later. You know, now that I think about it, I don't think I would ever use these big ones. I feel like the little one is all you need. I think I could've bought this and saved like 50 bucks. (relaxing music) So how's your day going? I feel like we haven't talked in a while. Everything good champ? Honestly, I kinda like it. All right, I'm on board. But you know what they say, go big or go home. What if I just like died? (grunts) (laughs) This is too much. I guess I'll try medium. (relaxing music) Hi. So the big one was a little bit too much but maybe that's because my posture hasn't been corrected yet. Step one, put arms into straps as if putting on a backpack. I just practiced. To adjust tightness, pull tabs on both sides until snug. Wear two to four hours. It feels kinda stupid but you just wait. Three hours from now I'm gonna have the posture of a supermodel but still my body so... While this thing does its job I should probably try out the other back product. First, I got the SpineDeck which sorta just fell apart. Apparently there are three different levels of back stretches with this. Level three is greater stretching for advanced users only. You really gotta put in the work with this before you're ready for level three. This thing isn't super flexible. What the fuck? Okay, there we go. So I'll just lay down on this as instructed. (jazzy music) Is it working? It just feels kinda lumpy. I like how it came with this flimsy little rubber piece that you have to insert yourself, I guess to make it nice and comfortable, but then it's got like a hundred spikes on it that just dig into your back. It's like laying down on a pile of LEGOs. I guess I'll try the other way to do it which is on your chair. My chair already has sort of a curved back so I don't think this is gonna make much of a difference. This has gotta be one of the dumbest things I've ever owned. I feel like you could find something lying around your house that would accomplish the same effect and feel that this thing has. I swear to God, if this undoes the progress I make with my posture corrector, I'm gonna have a conniption. But of course, the real test is gonna be with the SpineNeck. So a lot of people ask me, "Does it hurt?" Eh, not really. I don't know how much science went into this design. It feels like an arbitrary collection of random shapes. It's just this like rubber boomerang that's got some bumps on it. It's the kind of thing that just ends up in a box in your attic and sits there for 10 years until you have to move and then you find it and no one knows what it is. I almost forgot about this bad boy. Oh my God, is that the Uproot Lint Cleaner? No, it's two of them. There's a little quote on the bag that says, "It's so good, I can't put it down." That's what you would say about like a snack, like a bag of chips you can't stop eating, not a lint roller. It looks dirty. And then this handle's kinda fucked up. It's already got a crack in it. So as far as appearance goes, I'd give this like a D so far but that doesn't really matter. Let's see if they work. (lint cleaner scraping) I think this carpet might be too long for this. Oh, there we go, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm seeing it now. See that? Oh, well it just focused on the carpet there. Yeah, there's some dirt there. I see it. (lint cleaners scraping) This isn't really doing as much as I hoped it would. Maybe it's my carpet, it's kinda long. We have a couple rugs that are short. Let me try one of those. This actually worked pretty well when I moved it to a short rug that we walk on a lot. We vacuum this rug probably twice a month but even still, there was a lot of cat hair trapped under there. So if you have a pretty short rug like this or a really short carpet, I think this will work well. Ours was probably too long for it to be worth it but you know what? This thing did a pretty good job. I'm impressed. Man, I don't know about you guys but all this dust and cat hair has given me quite the appetite. (ominous chimes) Who's hungry? Me. I've been getting a lot of comments from you guys already on this video guessing that I was gonna use cow's milk to drink this and I'm sorry to disappoint you but this is an almond milk family. Zero cows were milked in the making of this beverage. I also don't need these yet. Um, I'm think it maybe chocolate first. You guys can eat along at home if you'd like. It doesn't have to be this. You could pretty much eat anything, I don't care. It smells like Cocoa Pebbles, which I do like, I like me some Cocoa Pebbles. I think Fruity Pebbles, I actually like better, not that you asked. There she goes. Bottoms up. (cereal crunching) There's a little bit of an aftertaste I'm not digging. (cereal crunching) It's weird, the first time seconds of chewing on it, it tastes really good. It tastes exactly like any chocolate cereal I've ever had but then, for some reason, the longer you chew on it, it just starts to like meld together into this like, I don't even know how to describe it, like this isn't a flavor I've ever tasted before, the flavor that's sitting in my mouth right now. I'm not even eating it anymore but I feel like I painted the inside of my mouth with this weird flavor. Yeah, I think I'm done with the chocolate one. That's not very good. It feels good, like the texture is exactly what you would expect but that aftertaste, man, I don't know. It's like really bitter. Next up, peanut butter. The other one didn't taste good but it felt and smelled good. So far, this one does not smell good. This table makes me feel like a little kid. Like there wasn't any room left at the kids' table so I had to eat with the grownups but everything is giant compared to my tiny body. I'm not even gonna bother closing that up. I don't even know if it's worth preserving. (cereal crunching) This shit sucks. It seems like they tried to, in a roundabout way, create a peanut butter flavor but it tastes nothing like peanut butter. Yeah, I'm just, I'm not digging this at all. Light died. That was fast. I think I'm done with peanut butter. Smells exactly like cotton candy. Wait. This is my favorite, this big chunk. I don't wanna eat this. I'm gonna set that to the side. I guess I'll put it in here. I'm not eating that. The boxes are kind of fun. There's a word search on here. This one had "Mad Libs." Sure, this tiny little box costs 10 whole dollars but there's a free maze on the back so... I'd actually pay another $10 just to do the maze. Can you tell I'm procrastinating? I don't wanna eat this. (cereal crunching) That's definitely the best one so far. It's got a pretty good flavor, I'd say. It really just tastes like Stevia though, like artificial sweetener. Yeah, maybe I did finish it. What? You never been hungry before? Well I've saved what I expected and hoped to be the best for last. Fruity. Another maze. Wait, is this the same maze? Okay, no. It's a different maze. Thank God. (elbow clunks) Ow! Cheers. (cereal crunching) This does have the same flavor, sort of, as Fruity Pebbles. Again, there's like a bitter aftertaste. It's so weird. And then the aftertaste made the next bite taste even worse, I feel like. Don't take my review as gospel. I know that people like this. Also, taste is obviously very subjective. I am not super picky. I will eat just about anything. I know that everybody says that. I feel like the problem is not so much the flavor itself but how much of it there is. Like if there was an adjustable knob, they turned it up just a little bit too high. I noticed it the second I put it into my mouth. That's why I made that face. Some foods, the flavor takes a second or two to kick in but this was like, the moment it got past the opening of my mouth, I tasted it in my whole body. So let's be concise. I know this video's long already. 3 out of 10, 2 out of 10, 5 out of 10, 3 out of 10 again. It's about dinner time right now and I didn't eat, I haven't eaten for several hours, I was saving it for this. I thought that would actually make me a bad reviewer because the hungrier I am, the more I tend to like the way things taste. Just something quirky and different about me. But instead, I hated pretty much all of it. So I don't know if Magic Spoon has reached out to me to do a brand deal or not. This probably disqualified me from doing one but I don't do ads for things that I don't like and I don't like this. So that's that. After consuming four bowls of the best cereal money can buy, it was time to hit the court. And let me just say I was in the zone. Even though I didn't technically make any of my shots, I connected with the backboard on a few of them, which I think they should at least give you one point for 'cause it's even higher up than the basket. Cut me a break here, ref. But despite my overwhelming success, I couldn't stop thinking about Hand In Your Face. Could it really make me better? I had to try. What the fuck? Suddenly I was practicing like never before, which is to say I was actually making shots. I've never done that before. I usually just pat myself on the back for getting close but this was a whole new feeling. Maybe being able to see what I was doing has been a distraction all along. This whole time, I should've just been letting my elite athleticism and God-given talent take over. My eyes have been holding me back from greatness. And that's when it hit me. I had to take this to the next level. - With the first pick in the 2021 NBA Draft, the Golden State Warriors select Drew Gooden. - [Announcer] They do have a time out, decide not to use it. Gooden away on top, bang! Bang! Oh, what a shot! - He can do everything Jordan could do, but better. - For me, it's Michael Jordan, it's Drew Gooden. - Anybody got some milk? - The rumors are true. Today, I am announcing my retirement from the NBA after 43 wonderful seasons. Unfortunately, the game just wasn't challenging for me. I've already played for all 30 teams, I won the championship every single year, and I never missed a shot, so there really wasn't anything else for me to accomplish and I'd like to move on to bigger and newer challenges. Any questions? So now that you've retired, what's your next move gonna be? I'm gonna be a commentary YouTuber. I don't know what that is. So this is going in S tier. As far as everything else goes, I'm gonna have to take the B out of the belt and then give it back to it. Yeah, it looks silly and maybe I feel kinda bad about ragging on the guy so hard but it works. It definitely keeps your pants up. Once you figure out how to get it on, it grips really well, almost too well, actually. There were a couple times when I forgot I was wearing it and I had to pee really bad but I had to stand there for 20 seconds struggling with it before I could. It's fun. It's a lot of fun. Backpack, I'm gonna give that a C. Definitely way too expensive but it is a bag so the advertising was accurate. Both of these little shits are going in F. Frankly, you could not design a more useless product. If I saw these at a yard sale, I wouldn't even pay a dollar for them. I'm gonna put the lint cleaner in B 'cause it's pretty cheap and it worked well. But don't be too fooled by their Instagram videos. If you even vacuum semi-regularly, you're not gonna have your mind blown by pulling up a toupee of human hair. It's just gonna be a little bit. The back wheels, I feel like I could go B or C. I'm gonna lean towards C just 'cause they're so expensive. They really aren't that much better than a foam roller and you can get one of those for 10 to 20 bucks. The case is very nice and the posture corrector is a funny gag gift but that's pretty much all I can say about it. Finally, Magic Spoon, for me, is a D. It just doesn't taste that good and it's way overpriced. Now, if you are on a specific diet, particularly keto, and you're craving a sweet snack, I think you'll probably like this. The problem is they try to market it so broadly. Instead of saying it's a great keto snack, it's great for this specific diet, they say it's the new cereal for grownups. And guess what? I'm a grownup and I think it sucks. Sorry, you're probably tired of hearing me talk about brands. Luckily, I've got just the thing for you, a short word from today's sponsor, ExpressVPN. Hi, I'm 12 inches tall, and I don't know about you guys but I've done a lot of weird stuff on the internet. But luckily I was using an incognito window so no one will ever know. That's not true. What? Just 'cause you used an incognito window doesn't mean your ISP can't see what you're doing. But it deletes my history. Yeah, and that's pretty much all it does. Plus, if you're on a public Wi-Fi like your college campus, then your school administrators are gonna be all over that. Oh. Be honest. Was it weird porn? It was weird porn. That's why you should use ExpressVPN when you browse because it takes all the information you send to the internet and reroutes it through a secure, encrypted server. It's kinda like how you put mail in an envelope or shut the door behind you when you're watching porn. Yeah, I probably should've closed the door, too. You left the door open? ExpressVPN isn't just great for security and anonymity though. You can also use it to watch content that's blocked in your area. You see, when you switch to a server that's in a different country, you're actually tricking the internet into thinking that that's where you are. So if you live in the US and you wanna watch "Shrek" on Netflix, which I know that you do, you can't unless you wanna see this version and have nightmares for the rest of your life. But just by clicking three buttons, I can change my server to Canada and now I have my entire day planned out. This works with thousands of shows and movies on a bunch of different platforms and they've got servers in 94 different countries so you will never run out of things to watch. So stop giving away your data to big tech companies and also expand your Netflix library in the process. Find out how you can get three months for free by clicking the link in the description, that's expressvpn.com/drew and you'll also support my channel in the process which I think is pretty cool. Thank you so much for watching this very long video. I hope you liked it. I know I've done this twice now but I'm definitely going to do it again at some point. It's just way more fun to try dumb stuff than it is just to talk about dumb stuff. That being said, I put a lot of work into this video so if you made it this far, frigging toss out a like. It's free and it'll make me feel good. Hell, subscribe even. I don't care. I mean, I do care, very much so. That's why I'm asking. Anyway, be safe out there, guy. Wash your hands, tie your shoes, and remember to never use a SpineNeck while driving. You'll die. See you next time. (upbeat music)
Info
Channel: Drew Gooden
Views: 5,949,883
Rating: undefined out of 5
Keywords: drew gooden, comedy, commentary, reaction, vine, parody, rant, cringe, magicspoon, instagram, ads, targeted ads, weird ads, weird products, product review, ad review, gochirp, cereal review, spinedeck, spineneck
Id: UTHKgVPZ-is
Channel Id: undefined
Length: 30min 2sec (1802 seconds)
Published: Tue Aug 24 2021
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