-Alright, we're checking out
the only game where you play a high school student who will burn
her entire house down if she doesn't get what she wants. It's High School - First Day. In High School - First Day, you play
as a young girl who is completely psychotic
and gets to go to a brand new high school. Seriously, I just loaded up the game
and this is what I was greeted with, "Daughter, we're moving to another
city next week," says a younger version
of the monopoly guy. But his daughter, the red-headed
crop top wearing maniac responds with, "What? I can't go
or I will need to make new friends or burn this place." Oh, this is going to be
a good journey. Yeet. "Dad, I will burn this--" Oh my God, you actually do set
the house on fire. All right, I guess I'll just have
to go and make new friends which means I will cry
into my cellphone. I should tell to-- Oh, Google Translate, you followed me
to yet another game. I'm so satisfied. My boyfriend, my mom. Where the hell is the mom at? Also I have to mention that our girl
never skipped forearm-day because her forearms are bigger
than her biceps. I'm literally playing
Popeye's daughter, where here-like his like
great-great-granddaughter. What's more important? Boyfriend or mom? Oh, I've got to click it. Text him. "Let's run away together." "We need to break up." Well, I already went the
arsonist route so I might as well. "Are you crazy? Just move on." Well, that was a-- that was a
really-- I passed? I passed what? Getting my heartbroken? All right. It is time for school. What kind of walk is this? "Hey, newbie, behave well if you
don't want any trouble." All right, first off, I'm not
going to be told what to do by some girl who looks like
she's wearing twin Hubble telescopes on her face. "I am not-- scared of you,
going to make any trouble." I'm not scared of any of you. Out of the way. What the hell? "Hey beauty, I've never seen
you before. Wanna go out?" Well, I mean, I don't mind it. The only problem is your left arm
looks like it's made of laffy taffy. "Yes, but only if you-- show me
where the class is," I don't really want to go to class. "Wouldn't be that boring." Oh wow, okay, real quick also
I need to use some of my incredible
detective skills here. I love how this is called
High School - First Day but, in the background,
we're going to college. [boy cries] [laughs] I made him cry. All right, so I ended up having
to have him show me where class is,
I don't have a choice. Apparently, making young fake
prince junior cry his eyes out into his protein shake isn't allowed
in this game. Enter your name. How many letters do I get? Can I use punctuation? I've come for your soul-- [buzz] Damn it. I've come for-- excellent, souls. Beautiful. Hope you don't mind if I prance
my way down the hallway. Here we are at class. This is not in science class. Why is there a map of the earth
n the background? I feel like this would be geography. "What is the biggest planet in
our solar system?" Jupiter or Earth? Obviously, choose the wrong answer
because I'm not planning to be a very good student. We're going with Earth. "Not so brilliant." [girl cries] [laughs] Everyone always cries in this game. Okay, fine, Jupiter, how about that? Let's try different. What the hell is let's try different? Why is the--? This is science. Why do I have to do math? If I just keep screwing up,
is that okay? "You are my new favorite.
Class dismissed." What? Oh, yes, back down the-- Whoa, oh my God, I just got abducted. [laughs] I literally got abducted into
the girls' bathroom. This school is amazing. Hi, girls. "I underestimated you. I hope this
will make you understand." Is going to be like a boot party? Am I going to get kicked to sleep? "Stop, if you let me go,
I will invite you to my party, will give you all of my money." Actually, if I invite them
to the party, there may be an opportunity
for vengeance. Cool, we have a deal. That was easy. "I should invite some people
to my party." "Hang a banner, hand out flyers." Banner, go big. That is not my name. What the hell happened to my banner? It went limp. All right, flyers it is. Just pulled those right out of my--
actually, it doesn't matter where I pulled them this out of. All right, everyone let us
prance together. What's up, Freddy? "What should I do?" Oh, there's a special option
for saying hi. I guess I should do it, although
I'm also like really weirded out by the fact that it looks like
his arm is constantly hyper extended. "Hi." Hi, I'm coming to party tonight. This is some of the most A-plus
top tier dialogue I think I've ever seen in
a video game. All right, preparation time. Choose an outfit for the party. Let's see here. Too normal, too clothinged, perfect. It looks like I'm going to
a barbecue. Yeah, whatever. Oh, sweet. What the hell? "What's up, girls?" Is that the twerkathon going on
in the background? "We're out of drink?" How? We're gonna hosted by dad buy us. It's like a full liquor bar here. Look at how many bottles of alcohol. "I will get new bottles." Yeah, there's no way, I don't care. "Did you see where the new guy is?" "He went upstairs with someone." That son of bitch. "Be cool and wait, go upstairs." It's time to kick ass and drink vodka
and apparently, we're all out of vodka. We're going upstairs. We've gotta bust someone's
melon open. What? What-what-what the--? What was that? Why were there two stuffed animals
dancing? Oh my God. "I can explain." "Punch him in the face or dump him." Go ahead and explain it
to Mr. Right Cross. What the hell? Uh, all right, real quick,
that is not a punch. I'm using Jedi powers. I killed him with the force. I love how I just killed this guy in
front of this girl, and she's like, "That's actually kind of cool." "I heard about yesterday.
Let's take a revenge." I thought you meant against
the girls. I already technically got revenge
on the guy. He may be dead, but if you want
to piss on his grave or something, you know what, sure. "I know where he lives.
Let's go there." This dude is gonna be like,
"You've already broken my neck. What more do you want?" My girls gonna be like,
"I've broken your body, but now, I must break your spirit." All right, here we go, breaking
into the house. "How would you like to revenge?" "Ring bell and run,
cover with toilet paper." Hope you ready for this. Pitching arm. Go. "Let's run." "I saw you girls. I'll show you." You'll never show us anything. You're gonna cry until
you get dehydrated. "Girls, what are you running from?" "Boy looks kinda cute.
What should I say?" I would seriously go from one guy
to the next in this game. "Just pranked someone,
it's none of your business." I want to get in the car. What are you--? Okay. You son of a bitch. All right, it's none of
your business. Well, go-- That's it? I treated this guy like dirt
and he's like, "Wow, such a cool girl.
Wanna go camping with me?" I met this guy 10 seconds ago,
and he wants me to go camping with him. That sounds like a fantastic way
to get skinned alive. Let's do it. Oh, we're gonna go right now. All right. Drive into the campsite. "We need to stop. I have to pee." "We can't stop. Uh, sure,
just stop and pee." I wonder if we get to steal the car
or something and just pull over right over here. I'm sure it'll be fine. Like a bear won't maul you to death
or anything. If a bear does maul him to death,
it will be amazing. He's dead. He's absolutely dead. "What takes so long?" "Maybe we should search for him,
leave him and move on." I wanna see the entrails. "Let's split up and search." Those are the last famous words. All right, yup, here it is. "Oh no, a bear." "Pretend to be dead, run away
immediately." Which one of these is gonna get me
eaten? Like, ha-- It's like always 50/50. There used to be a rhyme here,
wasn't there? Wasn't it like brown bear stop
and stare, I don't know. Let's run away. Aw. Okay, running got me killed. How about play dead? There. Stop sniffing me there. I swear to God, I'll call the police. Oh, it worked. Huh, I'm alive. "I can't find him anywhere." "We should keep searching,
call the police." We're not calling the police. Keep looking. It's the same bear. I have to deal with this bear over
and over again. All right, all right, we'll call
the police, fine. "I would like to report a
missing person." Here comes the police. Boy missing for two days,
breaking news. "We should do something about it." Like, what? [chuckles] Oh my God, they've already gotten
like a me-- a memorial at his locker. "Everyone is so sad.
Do you have a plan?" "Clone the missing guy
or build a time machine." What? Whatever. All right, into the science lab,
I guess. So, this is the genius guy-- no. "Hey, can you clone a human?" "Yes, I can clone,
but what do I get?" "If you clone a human, I will give
you a kiss, find you a girlfriend." I mean technically, I've got a spare
girl right next to me so here. "Okay, found a match. She's coming." Ah, yes, they were made
for each other. "Perfect, match, so lovely." All right, there we-- Oh, that is-
that is hideous, oh my God. "Feed me. Feed me." What have I done? [laughs] Wait, I have an idea. "There you go, a time machine." What is going to happen to the thing
that we have created? Is it gonna start like eating humans? "Pick a date to travel." "Return two days before,
see 100 years later." Yeah. Woop. All righty, what's it like
in the year 2121? [girl cries] Apparently, it's terrible. Right, since that last version of me
just ended up dying in the future. I kinda wonder if it was
my clone thing that ended up destroying
the entire planet. All right, return to two days before
and yoop. Oh, we're back from the future. All right, let's see how he got lost. Yes, I'm coming with you. I really wanna know what the hell
ended up happening to this guy. Yeah, you just stay in the car. She'll be gone when we get back,
I guarantee. What the hell is that? Why is-why is Pennywise here? What is this? And he fell down the hole to hell. "Be strong." "Help him out, call for help" Have you seen my forearms? I'm sure this will be-- [screams] No amount of drugs could
ever prepare someone for this game. I guess I'll call for help. Oh, wow. Everything worked out fine. "You saved my life. Wanna go out?" I've known you for like 10 minutes
and you died, and then I had to go back in time
to save your ass so no. Cry. Yeah, just like everyone else. . I love how I have no choice, like,
I have to go out. "We have a deal?" Is that what this is? If you cheat on me,
I'm going to murder you. "Choose an outfit for the date." Considering I've been wearing
the same thing for the last, you know, three weeks, I guess
I'll put something else on. All right, here I am for the date. "He is late." He's probably dead. Remember the last time, I tried to go
somewhere with him? He fell down a hole after being
chased by Pennywise, who was out in the middle of nowhere. "A gentleman would come earlier." "Give him a chance, don't wait
and leave." That's what you get. 10 seconds late? Garbage. Dammit. Okay, we'll give him a chance. I've seen this man cry over
half a dozen times. "This is for you." "Thanks, you're so kind." "Let's go inside." What does that say? Starsocks? Starsocks. Once again being stalked
by Pennywise. "I know you love me. You can
kiss me." Say no politely or freak out. Also, how come is-how come is there
one cup of coffee here? Like, are we sharing this or did you
just not decide to buy me anything? Time to freak out. I will flip this entire table. Go cry somewhere else. I've had enough of drinking
your tears. "Here's the check." Oh, I'm not paying the check. "Offer to wash the dishes
or don't pay and escape." To prison. Oh, right into the police. All right, well, I guess I can't
go further by going to prison, so I'll wash the dishes in my dress. This is going well. "Enough, you can leave." Thank you. I'll remember this day. "Help." What? What happened? "I should save him." "Throw a rock near the dog,
make a weird move." Describe a weird move. Oh, it's the funky cha-- [screams] All right, I guess I'll throw
a rock. There you go, old man. I think I hit the old man
by accident. "You saved my life. I have
a gift for you." You're so kind. Thank you for this beautiful
hepatitis-filled pocket watch. "Look what I found.
Wait, there's a riddle." The riddle says: "Gets more crowded
never, never louder." You mean, like a graveyard? Let's go to the graveyard. This seems like a great idea. "Stop. I see darkness." Okay, tell me more. "You seem reliable." I love how some lady that looks
like she's fresh out the 1600s comes out of a place and just says
some random crap and my girls are like, "Urgh,
seems like-- seems legit to me." "Let me think." "A clown is stalking me. Who is it?" I don't care about the clown. He hasn't done anything to me. "What's the compass for?" "Keep it safe. You will find
a treasure. What would you like to learn?" All right, tell me about the clown. "You know him very soon." How well am I gonna know him? "What is the best day of my life?" She's gonna be like,
"The day you die." "You will be prom queen." Oh, that's-that's literally the
happiest day of my life. That is not me. I mean, I guess it could be me. Be careful. "You can't enter." Look, we're here for treasure. "Act like a ghost." I love how acting like a ghost is
gonna get me into the graveyard. Oh, I brought a sheet with me
and everything. Oh, no. What is this? The graveyards closed today Not anymore. "There must be a clue." "Leave, push the stone." Ah, finally, grave desecration. Yoink. Was it gonna open up a--? Ooh. "OMG, we found something great." The map shows an island. None of this was about going to
high school. Follow the map. Things have turned so strange
at this point. How do we get there? "We need a sea vehicle,
we can swim." [laughs] Absolutely. That's right, girls. Yeah. [girl cries] That's-that's how I failed? Because I'm not allowed to swim
there? Are you serious? All right, sea vehicle it is. Otherwise known as a boat. "My dad has a boat. We should join." Yeah, why not. The more, the merrier. Honestly, I'd rather have
someone else get eaten by deep blue sea shark than me. "Choose an outfit for the island." Okay, time to get skin cancer. Let's do this. All right, we're heading over
to the boat that we've stolen at this point. "I'm so bored." "We should all, dive into
the water together." Oh, this is shark food time. We're diving in, everyone
in the water. [horn sounds] Yes. "No way, a shark." "Swim fast and escape, punch it." I did. I gave the shark a right cross. Okay, we've arrived on the island. "What's the plan?" I don't know. I don't really know why there's a-- "Not waste time and search, uh,
just pass the night." Why not? We got all the time in the world. "I have an idea. Let's play truth
or dare." Oh, God. Every time I get involved
with truth or dare in a game, I end up getting killed. Pennywise is rolling up in a boat. My mind is so blown by this game. "I ask first. Truth or dare?" "Dare." "I want you to run naked
or dance for me." Yes. It actually-- You're so bad. It actually took a lot longer to get
someone naked than I thought. Where did she go? Just like do a lap around
the island? "Now I ask, truth or dare?" Obviously, dare. "I want you to kiss someone here." I'm shy. I don't want to have to kiss
this guy. "Don't be shy. Let's walk together." "I'd love to." It seems like a great way to get
axe murdered by Pennywise. Did he just get nailed
by a tranq dart? Did I just get tranqed too? What the hell is going on
in this game? [laughs] I've been cooked alive. "Smells delicious." I love how they let this dude
keep his glasses. "I need a way to be free." Threat and make them scared,
offer traveling and save them." Actually, this is a really good idea. Listen, guys, why just eat
a few people when you can eat a lot of people. And I know where a lot of people are. "I can save you from
this desert island." "What's better than here?" "You will find easy and unlimited
food." I told you. Yes. We're coming. [laughs] Let's go. Right, before we go, we have to find
the treasure. "There's treasure that we need." "What? It belong to us. Shoot them." Damn it. Okay, let's just try, "I forgot
something, I'll be right back." "Nothing suspicious. We-we're waiting." "Where do we dig?" I don't know. Let's dig here. Damn, gold balloons. Damn you, Pennywise. You little bastard. What, he steal it. "Chase the clown, throw something
to clown." Throw something to clown. Is that a grenade or is that a rock? "I'll find you and make you pay." Well, we didn't get the treasure, but what we did get was
a bunch of cannibals that we can now bring back
to civilization. Anyway, folks, hope you enjoyed this
episode of High School - First Day. Till next time, stay foxy. Much love.
