Husband keeps spending money on his pregnant co-worker

[Music] [Music] my husband has worked with kelsey for the last two years and i never thought anything about their relationship was strange until now for the past five months the amount of time that has lapsed since my husband found out that kelsey was pregnant he has gone out of his way to support her in a way that makes me uncomfortable i might be able to understand his actions if they weren't so extreme but they mostly strike me as downright strange and out of character for him for one when he found out she was pregnant he came to me and asked if he could give her 1 000 to help her with some of her expenses he said that kelsey's baby's father was out of the picture and she was struggling i don't know kelsey personally but i can sympathize with her situation i agreed to let him write her a check for 250 dollars i did think this was odd though because my husband has never been all that charitable i've never known him to be the type of person that goes out of his way to help a coworker or a stranger but whatever a few weeks later my husband came to me and again asked me if we could help kelsey out this time he wanted to buy a pram for kelsey the one he had picked out was quite expensive so i wasn't comfortable with just giving him the okay we spent about a week discussing it before we finally agreed to purchase a cheaper one for her this came after he asked her if the second one would be okay i took this opportunity to ask him how much more money he wanted to spend on kelsey and her baby we had already spent 500 on them at this point and i was starting to get concerned we had a fight about this where he accused me of being selfish he said that he was trying to do a good deed for someone and that he thought i would be happy to support a young mother to be like kelsey and her baby i did feel a little guilty afterwards so i backed off fast forward to last week i found out after the fact that my husband had bought a 150 gift card to baby's rus for kelsey as a christmas present we had another fight about how much money he's spending on her and her baby and again he accused me of being stingy i asked him how much more he planned to spend and he told me that he didn't know i asked him if he could see how this situation could make me uncomfortable and how it might lead me to think something was going on between them he said that he was disappointed that i would think his good deed was anything other than him trying to help her coworker he has been giving me the silent treatment since that fight and making passive aggressive comments which is frustrating i can't get him to understand that my concerns are legitimate besides it's not like we have the ability to keep spending this kind of money on kelsey in addition to spending money my husband also has spent a lot of time helping kelsey in other ways he spent time fixing up things around her apartment before the baby comes and doing other odd jobs for her all of this makes me extremely uncomfortable but anytime i bring it up he accuses me of trying to stop him from helping someone in need of assistance or being greedy he won't acknowledge what i think his very worrisome behavior at this point i wonder what i'm supposed to do i think he really is trying to do a good deed but part of me worries that something else is happening i don't want to believe he would cheat on me he's never given me a reason to suspect this but i can't help but wonder sometimes especially when he's gone with kelsey to her rob gin appointment on two occasions though he claimed it was because she needed a ride does he have a point am i being selfish for hassling him over helping kelsey how should i try to get him to understand his behavior is making me uncomfortable i'm not sure how i should handle this situation nothing seems to be working since many of you asked for an update and you were kind enough to offer advice i have decided to give one the first thing i did after making my initial post was to confront my husband directly again i asked him point blank if he was so involved with kelsey's pregnancy because he was the father of her child he denied it i then asked him to introduce me to kelsey since he had given her money that belonged to both of us when i mentioned this he got very defensive and accused me of being insecure i responded by saying that i at least had a right to know the person i was helping and that he shouldn't have a problem with me meeting kelsey if nothing was going on between them he then told me that he wasn't going to introduce us and that i needed to work on my jealousy issues i decided to contact kelsey the next day i found her or at least the woman i thought was her through a mutual friend's facebook page i sent her a message telling her who i was i explained to her why i was concerned about her relationship with my husband and requested that she please let me know if she was having my husband's baby she sent me a very nasty message back i will spare you many of the details the basic gist was that i was old and unattractive and unable to satisfy my husband so he found someone better that is kelsey among other things she claimed that the baby was my husband's and that he was planning to leave me but felt sorry for me and couldn't bring himself to do it she ended the message by telling me that i should let him go so they could be together it hurt a lot to read that message it still hurts me to think about it i confronted my husband that same night i showed him the message he got really quiet and admitted that she was telling the truth but denied telling her all of the horrible things she said about me he said it getting her pregnant was a mistake and he was only trying to do the right thing by her and the baby he denied that they were still sleeping together and said he wanted to stay with me and have a baby with me i have no idea if either of these things are true i'm not sure what i'm going to do everything has happened so fast a couple of days have passed now and i'm still thinking things over he wants us to go to counselling to try to work through this but i don't think i'm interested in working on our marriage it would be hard for me to get past this if he had cheated but the fact that he may be having a child with this woman makes it harder if i stay with him she's always going to be in our lives i have thought about waiting until we can do a paternity test to make a final decision but i don't know if i want to do that either it may be easier if i just make the change now i have started looking for divorce attorneys most of my family and friends have told me i need to get out of this marriage and each day i get closer to making that move i just need a bit more time before i'm ready to make a decision i've been falling hard for this dude derek for the past six months or so my sister jane and i are very close so i've been talking to her about him a lot last night derek invited us out to hang my sister said she would come along and wingmen for me and maybe i could finally ask him out she ended up getting super drunk and flirting hard lots of giggling physical contact etc on the ride home i told jane i felt jealous since she knew about my crush and she went super hard on the flirting and i guess i had expectations for what wing maining meant and it wasn't this i ended up going to bed kynarenoid since it was late and said we should talk more tomorrow jane then messages him that night and explains that she's sorry for getting drunk and flirting and that she really likes him but wants to step back for respect of someone's feelings he asks who and she says it's me he's pretty cool about it and says that she should talk to me about it so she tells me this this morning and honestly i feel like i wanted to tell him on my own terms and also wanted to give him space since he just recently broke up but now i feel like she just went ahead and did everything she wants forgiveness since she got drunk and wasn't thinking clearly but honestly this isn't the first time that's happened her last two relationships were people i confided in her that i really liked but she says she doesn't remember me saying anything now she's always been the more attractive one so i definitely have some insecurity around this i've been working with a therapist to address my insecurity and other issues but it's slow going i guess i'm also feeling shitty because i think i got softly rejected from the dude i liked so that's probably a factor how do i move forward with jane and eric i live with jane and things have been tense ever since derrick send me some kind messages but i'm feeling extremely embarrassed though i would hate to lose him as a friend over this i have no idea how to proceed right now i talked a bit with derek on discord and apologized for things coming out this way especially since he was recovering from a breakup he was really chill and empathetic about it he invited me out to drinks later that week and since well everything was already known it was actually pretty easy to talk to him about it and we laughed it off i'll let him know i was still into him but wanted to give him space and also didn't want to complicate our friendship he was very kind and affirming about it later that night he asked if i wanted to kiss and i say said hell yes so we made out a bit it was amazing we made plans to hang out later that week and one thing led to another and we did the monster mash it was a graveyard smash our friendship seems to have deepened a bit as a result and i'm super happy with the fwb arrangement i'm doubtful that the future will hold any further romance between us other than physical but honestly i'm pretty happy with it my sister and i also talked it out and everything is good between us now she apologized agreed to start therapy recognizing the pattern of her going after people i like and has been checking in with me to make sure i'm okay my ex and i broke up around four months ago after dating for a little over a year she was the one who broke up with me but at the time i agreed that it was for the best so we ended things on good terms we are pretty chill now and we have mutual friends so we often all hang out together so things between us archer and friendly i work at a research lab at my university and i just recently landed the position after a pretty damn long and competitive application interviewing process i met my boss who's a grad student and we became buddhist pretty fast he's a really nice and funny dude that knows what he's doing i see him every day since me and two other undergrads work under him and help with his research while he helps use with our own fast forward about two weeks and i see on my ex's snapchat story a ducking picture of my boss with the heart emoji i'm shocked as duck so i reply to her story asking her who her new boy is and sure enough she tells me she's dating my boss i feign happiness for her and i don't tell her that he's my boss or that i know him in any way but damn i felt like someone just stabbed me in the heart i though i didn't have feelings for after our breakup but after seeing her story i was just hit with a pang of jealousy maybe it's because he's a major step up from me i'm a poor disorganized undergrad and and he's a successful young talent who has his together the next day at work i'm basically on edge the whole day i would look at my boss remember that he's dating my ex and just feel so uncomfortable the rest of the week was like that too i stopped joking around with him and kind of just stopped talking in general to him now i dread seeing him every day because the fact that he's my boss so he orders me around just makes me feel shittier and more below him he's got the girl and i've got no one i still love my job though and i worked so hard to get it so i'm not planning on leaving i also feel like a shitty person since my boss has been nothing less of nice and is honestly a great guy now i just feel like i should have tried harder in our relationship because dan she was pretty perfect in every way and i just let is all slip through the other day she came over to have lunch with him during his lunch break and i saw them laughing together and yay another wave of sadness and jealousy what do i even do now how do i stop feeling like this how should i normalize the situation at work thanks to everyone who gave me advice on my first post for the past week i've been trying to focus on myself and my work and not care about my ex and my boss who's dating her it worked pretty well i started a painting and i'm pretty close to finishing it and i impressed my boss boss the professor who owns the lab not the one dating my ex by staying late for two days in a row to finish a really difficult experiment during our lab meeting my boss boss shouted me out in front of the entire lab and said he was really impressed by my hard work and dedication that felt good as for the situation with my boss and my ex he found out like i mentioned in my previous post when my ex told me who her new boyfriend was i didn't mention that he was my boss so neither of them knew two days ago my boss and us two other undergrads were in a conference room discussing a paper when my ex came in she came to drop off my boss's wallet that i think he forgot or something anyway she saw me did a double take and went jack she was definitely super surprised and caught off guard and her boss was already like wtf so i was just like eei sara she shot me another shocked wide-eyed look and left suffice to say the rest of the meeting was pretty awkward the next day it was obvious that my boss now knew our history things just turned so awkward like he didn't know how to act around me anymore and what to say now we are both awkward around each other he's still nice and all but things are just uncomfortable between us too now it's not his fault though i think that things will get better between the two of us but as of right now i actually feel kind of relieved that he now knows something about how both of us now don't know how to act and what to do kind of makes me feel reassured sarah also called me the night that she found out i worked there but i missed her call and forgot to call back it's good though i've been trying to think of a lesson distance myself a bit but if things continue to remain really awkward to the point where both of our work is affected i'll consider talking to my boss boss about switching me to work under another grad student instead [Music] [Music] you

Channel: Reddit Girl

Views: 26,726

Rating: 4.9171596 out of 5

Keywords: reddit girl, reddit pregnant, reddit marriage, reddit fiance, reddit best friend, reddit pregnancy, reddit revenge, reddit po revenge, reddit, r/askreddit, r/ girl, r/ pregnant, r/ marriage, r/ fiance, r/ best friend, r/ pregnancy, r/ revenge, r/ pro revenge, r/, askreddit girl, askreddit pregnant, askreddit marriage, askreddit fiance, askreddit best friend, askreddit pregnancy, askreddit

Id: qGB1xGrlY4A

Length: 15min 50sec (950 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 10 2020