Fiancée Cheated During Bachelorette Party | Wife Left Me For A Girl | & More Relationship Stories

what is something you want to get off your chest that you may need advice on [Music] i 31 years old mill found out my fiance cheated during her 30 years old female bachelorette party planning on leaving don't know how to explain all of this basically was snooping around last night when i saw her phone ticket off it was a message from her friends about the party i stayed up like one of those stalkers you've seen on tv and been checking the computer fb messages with her friends and found out she cheated during her bachelorette party by cheating i don't mean getting a striptease or something which i would be okay with i understand it's a bachelorette party but she actually gave a stripper a bleep job but ended up going home with another guy that night she has this other guy added on facebook but the chat merely consists of a had a good time and it was nice to meet you convo which dates back to the bachelorette party i did however read the messages between her and her friends they have a small group found out what she'd done there it all seems as if it was a one-time thing that happened then but i am a freaking mess i haven't slept all night and she is headed for work in an hour or so when she wakes up it's almost 6 a.m here i don't know what the f to do we are supposedly getting married in three weeks i am thinking of simply packing all my bags after she is going to work and just leaving the flat it's her family's flat anyway we were planning on buying a freaking house having kids grow old i feel i want to throw all of that out the window i am sitting here smelling like alcohol feeling drunk and depressed i don't know why but i am more of an angry depressed than sad depressed i haven't cried since i found out about all of this should i confront her should i just get out should i hear her side of the story honestly i want to just go and stomp her freaking face in right now but i don't want to do something rational please help sorry for the typos i'm typing for my ipad and i'm not in a good place in my head right now also i am european not english small update i think i have my mind set on just leaving i will probably do so while she's at work i really don't know i feel a lot calmer already really appreciate everyone's advice not going to drink anymore or do anything stupid i will try to update to let you know what's happening update i want to give a big thanks to the people who took the time to give me advice much love to you all i basically left in the morning to take a smoke my head was still messed up but reading all the advice helped me i can't remember who but there was one guy who said the positive thing about all of this is that i found out before i got married with no children or attachments i still don't think she cheated other than this night nothing i found indicated anything else i guess she wanted this to be her last night before settling down or something i honestly don't know and don't care when i was outside taking a smoke about 15 to 20 minutes or something after shared i originally she had woken up she noticed the drinks out and asked me what i had been up to basically came to give me a kiss and a hug i followed through with it but honestly felt empty doing it i didn't want to give her any hint of what i knew she asked my why i had been drinking and why i didn't come to sleep last night and i told her i was just having some nightmares but everything was fine i felt detached like i was watching myself in third person through a tv or something she asked me if any stress was related to the marriage and the plans i just told her something along the lines of you know i love you there is no stress i have for the marriage how can you be stressed about the best thing in your life she got herself done and left for work i basically started packing my most important things my desktop computer most clothes and some other things i planned on leaving things like furniture tv and other things i really don't care about more than getting the f out i just took the stuff most important to me so that i don't have to return here again i don't care if she gets the rest all in all my stuff added up to about three or four suitcases i would say desktop not included in this i called and canceled the venue we were supposed to be having the wedding at apparently they take 15 percent of the money for canceling so early on because we were having such a big event i told them it's fine and i really don't care at this point i also saved screenshots of everything and have taken them with me around 1pm i called a taxi and went to stay at a hotel around 100 kilometers far from my city i didn't leave any note or pictures at home i just left i am planning on leaving to stay with a really really close friend who lives in a town about 300 kilometers away but i just needed the alone time in the hotel for some time to think everything through and process what's happened around 3 30 p.m my phone starts getting spammed with calls from my ex-fiance around 3 50 i start getting calls and messages from her sister her friends her parents my parents and a few of our mutual friends the only person i called back was my dad and mom i have a huge trust for my parents i basically spilled the beans and told them a nicer story about what happened asked my dad to not say anything and also asked my mother not to say anything i told them it's ended and that i won't be getting married no more i also told them not to tell anything to anyone about what i told them i trust them a lot so i'm sure they won't say anything i didn't tell them exactly what happened just that i found out she wasn't being loyal to me i didn't think giving details would help in any way around 5 p.m my dad calls me back and is telling me my ex-fiance is completely hysterical and has basically broken down completely not understanding what is going on i just told my dad not to intervene and that i need some alone time now i basically just shut my phone down and have been staying silent ever since like a ghost been sleeping for a little went to the pool here at the hotel and have just been taking it easy i don't know if i should respond to them now or wait some more her sister knew about what happened at the bachelorette party i have the texts to prove it she even laughed about it and told her not to feel guilty because it's her bachelorette and that women should go all in on this night i am seriously considering replying with to the sister with just an image of the conversation where she is telling her this once again thank you to everyone who gave advice i will update one or two more times and then perhaps go silent for a while i know you are only allowed to do one update on relationships section i hope this story won't get closed time here is 10 p.m soon dldr found out my fiance cheated and i left without saying anything not 100 sure what to say or to do at this point i 36 years old male have refused to go to the future wedding of my now ex-wife 37 years old female and it's really affecting the relationship with our kids thought i'd give this a chance to see if i can get some insight into my situation as i can't see what i have done that's so wrong and what i can do to remedy it so we've been married 15 years together longer and have three kids she has a daughter from her first relationship who's now 18. i class her as mine i've done everything for her and we have a 16 year old and a 13 year old sons now she was up front and honest when we got together that she was by and it was never an issue last year until she said she thought she was ultimately a lesbian and had fallen in love with her now fiance 35 years old female and it led to a divorce as i was unwilling to open the relationship or consider a poli situation so we've been divorced a year although we're still friends and have a good co-parenting relationship even though we're good i still am suffering and can't say i'm even close to moving on yet the kids live with her primarily although i see them multiple times a week and can say if i didn't have them i'd have nothing so basically i got a call from my ex earlier on in the week saying she had to tell me something that she's now engaged i was shocked as f basically she said they're not going to do the typical thing and have a long engagement they're looking at getting married as soon as lockdown has been lifted and they're on about moving in together as soon as possible and there's more she said she wants to have me as her best man as she still considers me her best friend and can't think of anyone else she'd rather have there suffice to say i told her i wasn't happy with it and said i'm not going to be her best man or don't think it's a good idea for me to be at the wedding and definitely don't like the idea of moving someone in around my kids after a year now my kids love the fiance my kids are always talking about her suffice to say she was upset and we haven't spoken since i mean if that was just it then i wouldn't be that upset i mean in what way it is going to a wedding seeing my wife marry the woman who she left me for seems like a good idea and to be the best man my kids found out though somehow are really upset my daughter particularly really went off and said she thought i was better than that and if i don't go to the wedding she'll never talk to me again the youngest who don't want to come and see me this week and also have refused to talk to me i'm still close and have a relationship with my in-laws and they've also been on my case saying i should go especially for my kid's sake here's where i need help and someone to talk to what do i do i mean the last thing i want to do is be false and go to a wedding watching the woman who i thought i'd be with forever marry someone else yet i hate the thought that my kids are suffering in the prospect of not having them in my life even if it's for a short while is like torture help dldr invited to my ex-wife sweating and asked me to be the best man i refused and she's upset and my kids are threatening to cut me off and the in-laws are acting poorly also i 24 years old female stopped my boyfriend 26 years old male proposing during my parents vow renewal now he's ignoring me my parents have been married 25 years they got married at 18 while mom was pregnant with me on dad's lunch break in work clothes in the registrar's office so they never got a proper wedding now they've hit 25 years they decided to have a vow renewal on their 25th anniversary which was three days ago 26th they couldn't have the large reception they wanted so this was just me my siblings my uncle and a family friend in the garden of my parents home mom was wearing a wedding dress dad in a suit and they made clear they were treating it like a real wedding and it was basically a redo of their actual wedding day my boyfriend and i have been together just over two years moved in together about six months ago on the 26th my boyfriend was weirdly nervous all day i figured it was just nerves because some of my family don't really like him so he gets anxious at the prospect of being around them then after the renewal dad says a few words so does mum and my boyfriend asks if he can have everyone's attention that's when i see him take out a ring box and my heart just drops because of all the time slash places to pop the question my parents vow renewal slash redo wedding is not the time or the place he was stood right next to me so i just sort of grabbed his hand holding the box and put both the hand and box back in his pocket and when he looked at me i just shook my head he then pulled the box out again and i whispered not here he seemed to accept that and gave a short speech about my parents a little later we excused ourselves and got back in the car to go home at which point he turned to me and went what the f was that i said i should be asking him that he said he was trying to be romantic i told him he missed the mark we spent the entire drive home totally silent we get home he pulls up facebook and shows me messages between him and my parents where they have given their express consent for him to propose at the vile renewal i text my parents asking about it and they both confirmed it and mom said she was surprised he didn't end up doing it it's been three days and he's barely spoken to me he's slept on the sofa every night despite me asking him to come to bed i've asked to talk about it the first time he said it's no big deal let's just drop it and since then he's just been flat out ignoring me i want so badly to talk this out but he's so upset with me for messing up his proposal and i have no idea how to fix this is there anything i can say slash do to get him to talk to me dldr my boyfriend planned to propose to me in the middle of my parents vow renewal i stopped him thinking he was about to make a pillock out of himself only to find out my parents said he could propose he's now not speaking to me is this fixable how update i went and talked to him i said that i wasn't saying no to the concept of marrying him one day but i was saying not now because first we need to work some crap out no more ignoring me for days on end or shutting down in general we are going to arrange couples counseling and if he ever shuts down on me like this again we're done because i cannot be with someone who refuses to speak to me when there's an issue he's apologized for how he acted said he was embarrassed and he admitted that he knew that this was too soon he recently went to his hometown during which he had a conversation with his brother about seizing the day and this somehow turned into his brother giving him their grandmother's ring and convincing him to pop the question he's also attributed the shutting down to some stuff from his childhood he's asked me not to go into detail and after discussing it we think the shutting down might be due to a fear of him directing the worst of his anger at me he has also agreed to individual therapy to get further into all of that we talked a little more about the timeline on marriage and we've agreed to revisit the topic after we've developed better communication skills he's feeling a lot better now we've spoken and he's even joked that it's probably a good thing i stopped him proposing as he's realized that my parents vow renewal was a terrible setting and i admitted that before this conversation i wasn't sure i'd have said yes i truly think we're going to be okay and just from having this initial conversation i feel so much better about the idea of marrying him because he's shown willingness to work on himself and on our relationship and before people start calling me an idiot over red flags or whatever please know that this is one tiny snapshot of our relationship and for every one dumb slash inconsiderate thing he does he does 999 lovely things and in general he loves and respects me and is a much better guy than the start of this post probably makes him sound am i the unreasonable one for insulting my sister-in-law for wanting me to make her bead work for her wedding i 19f native american ogallala lakota do beat work as a hobby side hustle and have since i was 14 i'm not the greatest ever smiley face but my stuff is decent enough that i make a pretty good amount of extra money from it my older brothers 26 years old male fiancee 35 years old female is a nightmare my whole family does their best to be respectful of her and of their relationship but she treated us like a unique oddity because of our culture and when that fascination wore off she began to treat us like we were uncivilized and dumb i argue with her a lot and i was certain she hated my guts until a few days ago when she came to me with a gift card that had 150 dollars in it she was being pure sweet to me and said she was sorry for getting off on the wrong foot i said it was okay i understood but wished she'd be more respectful of us then she started talking about her plans for a native american wedding with my brother i was annoyed and knew it was going to be disrespectful as f but i didn't say anything i just talked to my bro later then she asked how much i charge for the earrings i make i told her 35 she tried to barter with me and when i told her i was firm on my price she got mad but was quiet after a bit she said okay could you make a pair for me and my bridesmaids and maids of honor 12 pairs by november i could do 400 for them i never take orders bc i hate being rushed so i told her i'd have to think about it she left all angry about an hour later my bro came into my room and was getting mad at me he said his fiancee already paid for the earrings and why couldn't i just give them a family discount in exchange for being in their wedding i told him no she didn't pay she gave me a gift he asked for it back and i told him no she didn't say it was for the earrings an argument ensued between my bro his girl and i that ended with her telling me i wasn't allowed to come to their wedding and wouldn't be allowed to see my nephew or niece if they had kids i said cool light i don't like you anyway and never wanted to be in your wedding and that they weren't getting the money back then she had the audacity to go into my room and start looking around for the money i told her to get out and she started insulting me and my beadwork i asked her where that hatred for my work was when she was trying to buy from me she said it was to be nice because i don't get sales i informed her that i did in fact get plenty of sales and didn't have to rely on trashy tacky karen's to buy from me she called me racist and cried hard and played victim she called me a fat bish so i said that as fat as i am i'm glad i'm not built like a barrel on sticks with the big ass head and hog bodies she has my brother is now threatening to disown me if i don't apologize and make the earrings i know i was argumentative but i felt so disrespected am i the unreasonable one update i followed the advice of some of you and decided to take the higher path here i apologize to my future sister-in-law and my brother and gave the money back and i explained to my future sister-in-law that beat work means a lot to me and i have a very hard time taking orders but that i would love to make her a pair for her wedding for free but i just couldn't do 11 other pairs she was extremely quiet and sat with a grimace on her face the whole time we all spoke and i could tell it wasn't good enough for her but she never said anything my brother and i cried it out afterwards when we spoke alone and he said he didn't want to choose between her or his family because he cares about her i told him i understood and wouldn't make him make that choice and would try harder to get along with her i asked him why he's been distancing himself from his culture and from speaking our language together and he said it was because it makes her feel uncomfortable i told him that i know our culture means a lot to him and he shouldn't have to put that aside for her and that he shouldn't allow her to get away with disrespecting his family and culture just because he loves her he got quiet and i could tell that i made him think about things well as i suspected it wasn't enough for my future sister-in-law karen she and my brother argued all night last night because she was trying to convince him to take my beating supplies to make me do the pairs for their wedding she started insulting my family and me and threw a big fit when he stood up to her currently where we stand is that she was bawling her eyes out on our porch and my brother doesn't know how the wedding is going to go or if it's happening at all i'll update if anything else happens also thank you for everyone interested in my beadwork it means a lot to me that so many are so supportive heart i don't feel comfortable putting my beadwork online because it means a lot to me and it would absolutely crush me if someone copied it or reshared it without permission or used it to scam others i only sell locally to where i am but others have posted their info on the thread if you'd like to check them out instagram also has a lot of creators who share their work thank you again subscribe and turn on the notification bell for more stories delivered to you thanks for listening see you later

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Id: CgoPyycaSG0

Length: 17min 57sec (1077 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 18 2020