My mother is choosing her boyfriend over me and my siblings

[Music] when i was 13 my parents got divorced because my dad left my mom for one of his coworkers they are married now and have my half-brother we visit them every other weekend the divorce crushed my mom she went into a depression and did nothing but sit on the couch and cry for about a year she told me way too much about their marriage during this time including that my dad had stopped wanting us and created a dead bedroom moo and told me that she believed no one would ever love her again eventually my grandmother convinced her to go to a therapist when i was 15 she's on meds now for her depression and is doing a lot better though she still gets reggie when my stepmom or half brother are brought up and cries sometimes when we go to visit our dad around a year ago my mom started dating her current boyfriend i haven't seen her this happy since before my dad left he buys her flowers gushes about how she's his dream woman on facebook all that good stuff i'm really happy she's happy but i think she's so happy she's sacrificing my siblings and eyes happiness for her relationship she lets her boyfriend yell at us like he's our dad especially my younger siblings he tells me to change out of my clothes when i wear tank tops and shorts because it's too revealing why is he looking and my mom makes me change when my own boyfriend is over he snaps at me if we hold hands on the couch or something my sister is really messy and always has a dirty room or has left a mess in the kitchen my mom's boyfriend shouts at my sister things like don't be such an inconsiderate dumbass i'm not saying it's okay for my sister to do these things but he shouldn't be allowed to yell at her my brother has adhd and he's always talking and moving around my mom's boyfriend has yelled at him to shut up around two months ago he started spending four days a week here like they are living together and that's when it started my mom lets him yell and says he's right the last straw was a couple days ago i work as a waitress at a restaurant and i came home my mom's boyfriend was there and he asked to borrow my tips for that night i said no because i think he should be asking my mom for money not me he got furious and started screaming give me the money or i'll duck your [ __ ] up he grabbed my water glass out of my hand and threw it at the wall it was honestly really scary my mom was upset that he threw the water but not that he was yelling at or threatening me she eventually gave him the money but then made me apologize for provoking him i don't know what to do talking to my mom doesn't work because she doesn't listen and becomes hysterical i'm graduating high school soon but i'm going to community college to save money and i really don't want to move in with my dad because then my stepmom will use me as a free babysitting service for my half brother plus even if i got out i'd still worry for my siblings i could tell my dad but my mom hates him and would never listen to what he had to say how can i fix this situation with my mom's boyfriend well on sunday i called my dad and told him about everything that happened he was really angry i didn't tell him right away but i get it i would be too mostly though he was very concerned for all of us and wanted to k my mom's boyfriend he called her for her side of the story but when he began asking about her boyfriend's behavior she cursed him out and hung up on him that made her find out i told him and she barged into my room screaming that i was a liar and a little see yeah she called me the c word she accused me of wearing s clothes to try to steal him the duck and of loving my dad and stepmom more than her when i denied this he slapped my face hard and told me she was kicking me out she hovered over me as i threw some clothes and important stuff into a bag and then followed me still verbally at me until i got into my car saying that she'd never wanted me in the first place and that she should have got rid me i'm hurt but whatever she's delusional i'm at my dad's now and probably will be living here for the time being my dad and stepmom have told me i'm totally welcome my dad went to the house yesterday to talk to her in person about her boyfriend he was there too and apparently the three of them got into a screaming match he asked my siblings if they wanted to go with him and they said yes so now they are here too my mom tried to stop them but couldn't and she sent my sister a long rambling text about how the three of us are dead to her and ungrateful pieces of since she won't talk with him to come to a solution my dad sees he has no other choice but to go to the courts to get full custody of my siblings especially with how verbally or she's being so that's good basically my issue is my family and their strict rules slash education i have to deal with i'm not allowed to do much and it affects me because they don't seem to let me grow and become an adult i'm 22 now and i still can't go out ever except when i go to school but my time is counted they make sure to get my schedule every year i'm also sent to the grocery shop pretty often but here again cannot take long staying at home alone for too long few hours is not possible either they're probably scared i'd go out or something i can't have money at all so when i'm back from the grocery shop i got to give them the rest of money plus the receipts which is so embarrassing i'm not allowed to work as well i have a bank account but i've never had access to it simply because i'm not allowed to i've actually never even seen my credit card they are very close minded to the point where i'm not allowed to have friends they say your only friends are your family the issue is that the education i grew up with never allowed us to be close whether with my mom or my siblings there are so many taboo subjects that create a lot of barriers and distance between us so nobody is close to anybody in this family but we all try to fake a pseudo closeness which is awkward my siblings agree with this education because they are all older than me so most of them live by themselves in the younest and the troublemaker in the family i broke the rules several times when i was younger compared to them since they always agreed with this education so the rules got worse throughout the years for me they are strict also because with them there is no much time for entertainment the only acceptable entertainment must have a beneficial aspect such as listening to english music to learn english french is my mother language but listening to any other language music is pretty forbidden which is so odd same thing about phones it's a distraction so i still can't have a phone in 22. i have a laptop but they check what i'm doing in it sometimes behind my back actually my whole bedroom is checked whenever i'm away they never do it in front of me because they would look very petty my mom and i's relationship is bad she is very superstitious in a kind of an unhealthy way she believes in stuff like the evil eye and in the past she would go to each of us privately and tell us to be careful of each other because of jealousy reasons etc she doesn't do that as a mean way she truly thinks she's doing good but this ruined our sibling ships because we're all kind of suspicious of each other now she does it a bit less these last couple years now it's jealousy toward her she sometimes calls me the cursed child just because i announced her a bad news lol my relationship with her got so bad that we barely talk now because she frustrates me with her attitude mindset personality education the life she makes me live so i'm always cold toward her toward everyone but mainly her she feels the tension between us but never talks about it instead he starts taking revenge by hiding stuff like the toothpaste the shampoo the food lol i'm so embarrassed just talking about it my relationship with my family is terrible to say the least there are where their methods are not the best for my personal development they care more about the family's reputation so they pretty much put me in a cage so i'll for sure won't do the honor of the family wrong they raised me to always depend on them and basically be irresponsible for example i'm still not allowed to take an appointment to the doctor or register to college by myself because these things are for adults but i'm 22 ymits for adults i am forced to depend on them so i always have to ask them to do things for me things i can do myself which is annoying because they do it in a botched way because they are all busy doing their own things that makes me feel like him a burden they seem annoyed to treat me like a kid but still do it as if they are forced to treat me this way because i'm not trustworthy since i broke their trust before everything is wrong with the life they're forcing me to live my mental health is disastrous i have severe social anxiety self-esteem issues depression i've lost interest in everything this situation suffocates me i wish i could leave but i'm scared i'm too scared of everything them included i don't wanna drop out of school either i have nowhere to go so i'm stuck living this nightmare sometimes i tell myself i'm just being dramatic because they're not bad people either are my feelings valids i've always lived this way it's hard to be objective so i really need more of a realistic point of view from you also should i wait until i finish my studies to leave or should i leave now which gonna be hard because i have no clue where to go right now you may suggest to talk to them i tried but my opinion doesn't matter because they think they know better than me so it always leads to a confrontation because they always think him planning to do something bad whenever i ask them to trust me more or give me more freedom therefore they become more strict so i stopped asking them anything they're really close-minded they don't believe in mental health issues they think they are just excuses so talking to them about this would make the situation worse how can i get out of this situation any advice would be appreciated [Music] [Music] you

Channel: Ask Girl

Views: 19,996

Rating: 4.9330854 out of 5

Keywords: reddit girl, reddit sister, reddit entitled parents, reddit entitled family, reddit family, reddit, r/askreddit, r/ girl, r/ sister, r/ entitled parents, r/ entitled family, r/ family, r/, askreddit girl, askreddit sister, askreddit entitled parents, askreddit entitled family, askreddit family, askreddit

Id: uMvNYwqE05o

Length: 11min 13sec (673 seconds)

Published: Wed Sep 30 2020