Boyfriend's parents demand I show them my bank account statement

[Music] i have been with my boyfriend for three years living together for two my boyfriend has always been very close to his family they live not that far away and he has never lived anywhere but new york city where he was born and raised therefore always had his parents close by and spends time with them regularly therefore i didn't see anything odd at first about how close he is to his parents and assumed it was normal however since we moved in together there were red flags regarding his parents some examples there is a coin operated laundromat half a block away from our apartment but he insists on getting his clothes packed carries it on a 30-minute one-way subway ride all the way to his parents to have it washed i thought this was weird but hey his clothes his time his subway fare he shares a bank account with his parents his parents pour over his financials regularly and once chewed him out over spending too much money on ordering pizza i found this kind of vote too but as we keep our finances separate this didn't affect me so i'll let this slide on a camping trip with his family a mosquito entered our tent and i tried multiple times to slap it in between my hands immediately his mom and dad barged into our tent yelling and demanding to know why i was slapping my boyfriend i was utterly confused and told them that i was slapping a mosquito in fact the mosquito was still buzzing around the tent my boyfriend backed me up but his parents thought that he was covering up for me and since then they have disliked and mistrusted me with things like when i got a promotion they called my place of work to see if i was telling the truth about working there and my promotion this i found utterly insane and embarrassing me at my workplace however my boyfriend stood up for me again and therefore i didn't think it was right to dump him for his parents insanity despite my boyfriend sticking up for me and telling the truth to his parents on both these instances they continued mistrusting me i started not wanting to go to many of their family events after these ridiculous episodes which my boyfriend said he understood and never pressured me into going i make more money that my boyfriend so i asked him if we could move to a better neighborhood and i will pay a bigger portion of the rent to cover this and he would be paying the same amount he currently pays he got extremely upset that he couldn't pull his weight but i told him that i don't mind paying more so that we can live in a safer area i chalked this to how men are shamed in the media if they are seen as not good providers blah blah and assumed he was just insecure about it however when he discussed this with his parents they accused me of hiding a source of income i know i have a regular old boring marketing job and being involved with unsavory activities or that i'm lying about something and hiding things i was utterly confused my boyfriend doesn't believe any of their nonsense and against a dub for me however she soon hit the fan his parents are now demanding to see my bank statements to prove to them that everything is on the up and up my boyfriend knows that i have nothing to hide so he said that i should just do it to shut them up so that they'd stop with the drama however i think that this is a huge violation of my privacy why should i have to justify myself to them when i have done nothing wrong and what right do they have to the details of my finances if i give in what else will i be expected to do to satisfy their insanity at the same time it's not my boyfriend's fault that he was born into that crazy family and he has stood up for me every time and i don't want to break up with him over something that he didn't do still his parents are driving me up the wall and stressing me out what should i do i read all the replies and i had a long talk with my boyfriend about boundaries he listened agreed with me and decided to talk to his parents i was hopeful and glad that he was going to do something about this but things soon got much worse he returned home a few hours later with his parents silly me i was assuming that they were here to apologize or at the very least have an adult conversation about everything that has been going on they accused me of trying to keep him away from them and isolate him in order to uncontrol him i told them that i was not and never said that he shouldn't interact with them all i wanted was for them to respect my boundaries and stop making unreasonable demands they said that this is what all i do and that i'm showing my true colors the messed up part is that my boyfriend was visibly affected by all this to the point of starting to agree with them they kept insisting that i was acting guilty and that only guilty people have something to hide and the fact that i'm refusing to show them my bank statements prove that their suspicions are correct i told them that it is none of their business and if my boyfriend trusts me what right do they have to interfere with my business at that point his dad got in my face and screamed at me about being a horrible person who were their son they brought up a music festival i had attended last year with mutual friends of boyfriend and i from college they accused me of spending that weekend away pee myself instead of going to the festival and when i counted with the fact that there was an entire album full of photos on my fb they then changed their accusation to suspecting that i was dealing d this was shocking to me as i have never dealt d in my life and neither my boyfriend his parents or anyone else has ever accused me of dealing d i pointed out that their accusations keep changing the moment the first one is proven wrong and how exactly am i supposed to prove a negative like that even if i gave them my bank statements they would accuse me of having a different account or of hiding cash who knows what else i told them that it is clear that it isn't going to stop and therefore they should just stop bothering me with their insane theories and leave me alone i guess this was my fault for going to the festival without my boyfriend but i had asked him to go along repeatedly but he kept saying that he doesn't like large crowds which i have known about him from the start i didn't think that there was an issue since i was camping with girls and my boyfriend also knew these people from college my boyfriend then said that it could be a possibility that i was actually dealing d that my refusal and anger at his parents requests is making him no longer trust me and that he is starting to think where there is smoke there is fire what the hell i told him that he had never once accused me of p or d dealing before and these insane accusations only started once his parents put the idea into his head if he was uncomfortable with me going to the festival he could have spoken up before i bought the ticket before i actually left and if he was uncomfortable he could also have brought it up in the year since then and now but he didn't and only started getting uncomfortable once his parents planted these ideas into his head i told them that i don't understand where these suspicions are coming from i make a normal amount of money for someone in my position i live below my means i don't make any extravagant purchases so why exactly do they accuse me of hiding so much money what money they then said that i'm deflecting in order to not have to answer their accusations that i had manipulated my boyfriend into sticking up for me and that the camping trip showed them how much i was a my boyfriend that their poor son has been sore that he would deny that i was slapping him my boyfriend said that since this conflict doesn't seem to be getting resolved and since they are his parents after all and that he can't be with someone that refuses to get along with his parents we are breaking up seriously those were his words i'm apparently the bad one in everything here and his delusional evil parents are not at fault his parents helped him pack up and he went home with them his parents then said that they are going to call the cops on me for domestic violence indeed dealing i'm innocent but i don't know what is going to happen now if their insane calls to the cops are going to jeopardize my job in some way i'm so scared of these insane people and what they may end up doing dated my ex 28 male for nearly five years serious lived together marriage family talks until about nine months ago i 33 female abruptly found out he was cheating i ended things this wasn't his first indiscretion and kicked him out he claimed he wasn't cheating just inappropriately texting an old friend and denied everything less than a week after he moved out the other girl who previously didn't know i existed found me on social media saw indications that we had been together for several years and felt obligated to tell me her story we engaged in a long mature discussion to exchange notes and come to find out they had been dating for two years her and i were both shocked disgusted and amazed by the effort he put into deceiving us both ended the conversation politely and went our separate ways fast forward to present day apparently she took him back over six months ago and they've been dating and living together ever since super don't care however he emailed me a week ago apologizing saying losing me was the worst thing to happen his life has been miserable every day since then yada yada so now i face a moral dilemma i did not and will not be responding but should i tell his now girlfriend she once reached out to me as a courtesy of sorts do i do the same the info she gave me ensured i would never forgive him or think of taking him back saving me from further heartbreak i hate for anyone to have to be duped by him like i was do i tell her update sorry for the delayed update for anyone that was interested but i moved and life has been hectic i read every comment on the original post and considered every option a couple weeks after my ex initially contacted me via email he sent me a text message asking if i would ever talk to him again like before i didn't respond a couple days after i moved i messaged his girlfriend the previous other woman on facebook since that was my only form of contact with her i first asked if they were together to which she responded yes a couple days later in a brief conversation i told her that i felt i owed her the courtesy since she once extended the same to me i told her he had contacted me twice in the last month and gave her the gist of his email she said she figured that's why i was contacting her said she really appreciated me telling her thank me and said she hoped i was doing well i told her good luck and went on my merry way no cat fighting no unnecessary chatting in the end i feel bad for her yeah she made the horrible decision to get back with him but i'm sure she did hoping thinking he had changed he never will men like that don't i was his unwitting fool for nearly five years now she has that burden i haven't heard from him since or heard anything from his family who still occasionally keep in touch as to whether she dumped him or not my gut instinct is she didn't either way my conscience is clear a favor has been returned and i'm still happily no longer with a cheater cheers folks i was dating my boyfriend for two years we didn't live together but lived on the same street and i was always over at his place we each had kids from a previous relationship so i wanted to take the whole living together thing slowly but we were together all the time and i just maintained my own residence he commuted for work and i knew his department got a new secretary she was younger and married and had recently had a baby i knew they were work buddies and i even bought a birthday gift for him to give to her after about a year she moved to another state my boyfriend and i decided to move in together and we lived together for a year when i found out that he and that secretary had some type of non-physical but still romantic relationship while they were working together and that is why she ended up leaving because they both realized it was not appropriate i stumbled on old emails between them that were strange calling each other pet names he was calling her baby and sweetie in work emails telling each other that they couldn't wait to see each other at work meeting up in the cafeteria for coffee every day he told her he loved her she lamented that she couldn't stop thinking about him while at home they had little quarrels i also realized that he was still faster book friends with her we talked a lot about this and he said he was just so unhappy at work at the time and unhappy with our relationship news to me because we didn't live together that he was vulnerable to attention from a beautiful woman he said it never became physical but they were very emotionally entangled at the time for many months i had no idea at all he said together they decided the best thing was for her to accept another job offer which he helped her get he's very remorseful sometimes other times he will tell me that it's partially my fault because i rarely stayed over i don't think that's true at all in fact i was the only one working on us he was so busy at work that i carried most of the relationship at that time i was doing everything for him to help him out because i knew how busy he was and how stressful life was for him back then he will also try to tell me i was too cold again he didn't bother mentioning that to me then i've tried to move past this i told him he needed to delete her from fafsa book and he did it's been over a year since i found out but i still feel so much hurt and anger if i think about it or if something triggers me even something as stupid as a movie where the man is hooking up with his secretary it's been over a year of anger fighting hurt and drama the man i thought i was with is not the guy who would speak to his married secretary like that should i just give up i'm tired of feeling this way i have an identical twin sister jesse and we look very much alike there are small differences but only those who know both of us can recognize them boyfriend and i have been together for a year things are good between us last night this happened my boyfriend's mom went out with her friends to watch a movie and jessie was there as well with her boyfriend after the movie one of her friends saw jessie with her boyfriend she asked her if that girl is her son's boyfriend i met this friend at a party a few weeks ago so she looked at jessie and thought yes she is she went to her and asked what the [ __ ] is going on jessie was confused since she hadn't met her before and she kept asking her what the [ __ ] is this at that point she was holding jess's arm and she told her to let her go and called her a crazy [ __ ] eventually she told jessie that she's cheating on her son and called her by my name and jesse told her that that's her twin sister she slapped her across the face and told her to stop lying her friends then collected her and took her away she then called my boyfriend and told him that she's found her girlfriend with another man i was with my boyfriend at that time he quickly got it that she must have seen jessie so he told her and she hung up she then left i talked to jessie she didn't even apologize to her after she found out what she's done she just left so my boyfriend talked to her again and an apology is not coming she feels like she did nothing wrong and she was justified in whatever she did since i hadn't told her that i had a twin sister so she's justified in harassing her like that and slapping her across the face she said that she expects an apology for being called a crazy bee i'm really pissed at her for what she did and the least she can do is apologize to jesse we were planning to visit my boyfriend's parents this weekend but now i'm not sure that i want to go i can't just sit there and tell her how cute it was that she mistook me with my twin i sure as hell don't think jessie should go and apologize to her should i let this go am i overreacting to consider this a deal breaker [Music] so [Music] you

Channel: Ask Girl

Views: 49,470

Rating: 4.9011531 out of 5

Keywords: reddit girl, reddit entitled parents, reddit mil, justnomil, r/justnomil, reddit mother in law, reddit boyfried, reddit, r/askreddit, r/ girl, r/ entitled parents, r/ mil, r/ mother in law, r/ boyfriend, r/ family, reddit family, r/, askreddit girl, askreddit entitled parents, askreddit mil, askreddit

Id: 9AgZwshCE0E

Length: 17min 30sec (1050 seconds)

Published: Fri Sep 04 2020