captain holt bullying terry for 10 minutes straight | Brooklyn Nine-Nine | Comedy Bites

there's something I'd like to show you Captain Terry crushed it it works I've never been more proud of you for anything in your life I mean I've solved a lot of cases for you and yet crime is continued a five six 7even 8 stop the nod meant start now not start one second later again 5 6 7 8 stop are you playing the muffin man or the garbage man huh do you know the garbage man because I do because I'm looking right at him again five six seven [Music] [Applause] eight [Music] again [Applause] again why'd you stop playing garbage man I need some water what you need to do is keep practicing garbage man I don't have any more saliva and I don't have any more time for your excuses garbage man now play again five six I don't want your help anymore I'm not a garbage man I'm A Muffin Man Captain Diaz sent us the list of favors she needs us to do for her she didn't hold back first she wants us to move all her furniture into storage okay then file her taxes for her really and then she wants us to type up an email these letters to Pento in Argentina are they sexual in nature crazy sexual but we can't say no she's behind bars and we made a promise right you're right oh also she's worried about her motorcycle sitting idle so she wants us to take it out once a day here I think you should do this you're more the biker type I've seen you use a toothpick in public motorcycles are death machines I have three kids I'm not risking it are you saying my life matters less because I don't conform to society's heteronormative child Centric ideals are you really playing the gay card right now go Queen hello anyone we're stuck in the elevator can't you yell any louder use those big strong lungs are always flexing these are my pcks so this is all just for show then it has no functional purpose I mean I am pretty strong good then rip those doors open I can't do that oh well at least you haven't dedicated a significant portion of your life to looking like this Stop Dancing Stop Dancing this is a direct order Stop Dancing Squad since Peralta's briefing was cut short you can all use his time to clean up your desks look at this place halfe eaten food crle tissues pictures of your families what's wrong with pictures if you love someone you'll remember what they look like the sound was more of a oh how goes the crinkle hunt I say you're not just wasting time you're also wasting tin it was only one piece okay it was a ton of tin I'm pretty sure to gu eting a sandwich I'll prove it to you I'm not buying you any more sandwiches Scully doing this for us guys we can't fight that's what the horn dog wants we're getting close we just need to keep testing more things oh that's a good idea have you tried a piece of paper is that your crinkle maybe maybe it's his bags of coffee beans all right sir I think youve made your point my point oh I'm just trying to have fun by wasting time Sergeant I'd like you to meet Richard and Dan they are PU very cute sir maybe your twins would like some little furry friends I'm sorry sir but that's impossible with the twins learning how to walk chaos Reigns at the Jeffords household I can't let those innocent pups into that mad house Terry won't do you like that I understand just know you have disappointed all three of us that's cold sir I miss this place huh little cheddar is just you really made yourself at home didn't you Jeffers I bet you feel real good about calling her dancing a hobby huh sarcasm the cowards lie I checked into your aliis or should I say alab lies Diaz if you were changing the oil in your bike for your big ride up the coast then tell me why is your tank only half full you dipstick my bike that's not all I dipstick Mr fit or shall I call you by your real name Mr FIB I find it quite odd that you were building up an app appetite at the gym when your gym is closed on Thanksgiving and boil out buying Goose feed for nicolaj nikol I found your grocery store receipt no feed of any kind but there was one purchase a beverage that pairs perfectly with pie one gallon of milk this Heist took three people lady dipstick Mr fib and the Milkman The Jig Is up confess detective Diaz can you give me even a shred of good news about your drug task force the good news is I can be brief about it we have nothing sorry I had to talk my twins into getting their hair done there are some promises involving lollipops I do not intend to keep the task force has made some busts but we still haven't found any highle dealers or major drug stashes but we will soon is that a promise or just another lollipop that no one's ever going to lick what about the fact that this corpse is 71 in tall when the Disco Strangler was 76 he shrank over time is that another old person thing yes it is another old person thing we also have a DNA match between hair on the head of this body and the Disco Strangler sir this is clearly zumas and that's a good thing you can finally say goodbye to your Nemesis thanks Sergeant that's a nice thought for an idiot to have sir I know this is important but I kind of got to go Kagney and Lacy's recorder concerts in an hour and I promise no one leaves until the culprit is brought to justice but they're playing Uptown fun I wouldn't care if they were playing actual music this year's Champion will be whoever is in possession of scully's very upsetting bracelet at midnight tonight I take my test at 6:30 you know what Terry you're kind of making this a nightmare maybe you just shouldn't participate so this really isn't about helping out Sergeant Jeffs I guess I'm out no no no no come on of course I'm 100% in support of Terry in fact I'm going to team up with him let's do this you are so easily manipulated now you're stuck with Sergeant dum dum YY this is going to take forever I actually took a speed reading course I tested at 800 wpm that's pathetic I tested at 802 that's pretty close to H score no no 802 is incredible she pwned me I read the entire Urban Dictionary so I could converse with with the other uniformed officers finished it in 47 minutes I've never been so attracted to a gay man before and I dated several in college so we have a read off Santiago we don't have finger guards so we do it raw okay I normally don't encourage such childish competitions but this might help things go faster my only question is are you sure your old ass eyes are up to the challenge I know you're just trying to motivate me but these old ass eyes will be reading your Tombstone son hey craon you're ready to get curbs stoed what at chess we have a wiggly match I'm teaching Gina to play and she in turn is teaching me to Trash Talk the hospital called your test results came back positive you're a stage five dumbass you have come so far you any good Gina the best she struggles we've been playing for four years now and she has yet to defeat me good luck I'm rooting for you Gina you would take the loser side Jeff you trash talk okay I don't like this damn it we're locked in who are you working with you coward I didn't do anything I bet this was all Santiago's PL she's making a play for the tube she knew you hit it at Doggy Daycare how do you know her playing since I wasn't part of the heist people were sloppy around me with their secrets I know everything for instance I know the real tube is inside that creepy fake baby doll why didn't you tell me this earlier I was trying to be respectful of the heisting process but that was before I got screwed over well your Intel is of no use since we're locked in here unless you smash your gigantic body through the wall I am not the Kool-Aid man we can have part of the model be very accurate and part of it will'll be creative I'm okay with that yes yes as am I uh would you fetch me the 8 mm level for my office oh [Music] sure oops Captain did you throw away my Som brell restaurant oh I might have knocked it in the bin by accident I do remember saying oops fine I'll come clean you're ruining our model with your frivolous garbage all aboard the jeopard victory Express oh I'm sure the child would love that you put a steam locomotive whistle on a diesel tray I'm joking he's going to vomit when he hears that I know we've had our differences but through some crazy twist of fate we found each other shouldn't we just be excited that we have someone to share that [Music] with not interested good day give me a flute wrong first rule never give anyone your flute everything hinged on Jeffers I needed him to drop out of the heist so he'd have access to everyone's Secrets which is why I set up a fake interview for him you were working with Williams but he locked us in his office which was critical to me gaining your trust so you tell me where the tube was hidden Terry's reallying armed with that information I texted Kevin who retrieved the tube and handed it off to a person who lured you all here and that person was a dog and that dog was cheddar hold up that big speech about how I'd make a great captain that was all a lie no no I meant every word of it in fact it's exactly what I said to the real Williams two weeks ago it's part of the reason he decided to make you the new captain of the 99 wait what is this B to y'all need to cut and be honest with me this is my life we're talking about

Channel: Comedy Bites

Views: 89,329

Keywords: brooklyn nine-nine holt, captain holt, best of captain holt, captain holt mean, holt and terry brooklyn 99, holt terry elevator, holt terry elevator dance, holt terry flute, holt terry flute scene, holt terry rosa undercover, holt terry racism, brooklyn nine-nine best of captain holt, brooklyn 99 best of terry, terry funniest moments b99, terry crews dancing, terry crews american idol, and yet crime continues b99, yas queen b99, captain holt gay card, captain holt yas queen

Id: mUs854hc4Vk

Length: 10min 7sec (607 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 26 2024