Hey Doc, There's Something Wrong With Me (2.5 Hour Reddit Compilation)

doctors and nurses have any of your patients surprised you with their amount or lack of pain tolerance i had a patient with an open tib fib fracture the bones and the lower leg sticking out and below that it looks like jelly trying to walk away apparently unaware of how bad his leg was of course he was incredibly drunk at the time well it's a good thing you aren't a terrible medic wait working in a hospital has taught me the downside of abusing painkillers drugs patients constantly come in here with long-term substance abuse issues and now that they are actually hurt mvc broke bones etc you can give them enough drugs to put down a horse and they still feel everything i was a tech india when the emts brought in an elderly woman with what they said was a sprained ankle she had slipped while mopping a floor at work and her co-worker had called it in turned out she had broken both of the bones in the lower part of her leg but was sweetly chatting with us i was impressed as soon as i saw this raise emts had no idea and had splintered her ankle over where her bones were broken typically broken bones in the legs unless there's a huge amount of angulation displacement do not cause a ton of pain unless moved we see that often in the old people with hip fractures as well they're usually sitting there still and having no pain but the second you try to move it they are in excruciating pain same goes with trying to bear weight a doc 50 year old guy with a massive heart attack just lying there chillin ask him his pain level deadpan just a little five-year-old boy with both forearm bones fractured and dislocated playing on ipad with other arm 60 year old lady slips falls destroys pelvic bone just once one time in all end scooches out of bed wanting to walk home after much convincing she begrudgingly accepted that might not be a great idea there are some bad butt people out there fire medic here farmers seem to be tough one time a guy pulled into the front ramp got out of his truck and walked up holding his severed forearm in his other arm get him in the truck take off along the way he states he lived down the road and wanted to get to earth quickly when asked why he didn't call he 911 i just cut my arm i ain't dying also had a battle of the bulge vet tell me he didn't need a blanket it was -7 with windchill not a but actually a cashier at a fast food place a woman ordered two meals and since she was a little older really old actually i offered to bring her food to the table so she wouldn't have to wait i get there and her husband had wads of paper towels stuck all over his arms with electrical tape and his right hand and part of his face were a mix of blood and second-degree burns turned out he was working on his lawnmower and the engine blew up on him they stopped for lunch on the way to the hospital for burns and the metal they couldn't get out he was acting like it was nothing working as an emt i got called to a 64 year old female slipped in her house possible sprained ankle when we got there the woman is sitting in a chair with her leg stretched out in front of her but she had long pants and slippers on that covered the entire ankle so i couldn't really see it when we walked in she was talking and didn't really seem to be in any pain at all so i figured this was going to be an easy trip i kneeled down in front of her to take a closer look and wasn't i surprised to find that it wasn't just broken it was fricked right up i mean the foot was at a 90 degree angle to the outside and it was also leaned down so what should have been the side of her foot was facing straight down and the bone that should have been holding the ankle in place was pushing against the skin on the inside of her ankle so hard that it was about to rip through i was bewildered at the fact that at that moment she said it doesn't hurt so i hope it isn't broken but she hardly made a peep on the ride to the hospital 35 miles very bumpy come to find out she had multiple sclerosis and that makes people feel pain differently i was chatting with my physiotherapist one day about pain tolerance and she said that she once had her ex maybe see addict as a patient whose tolerance was absolute zero she couldn't even touch him without him perceiving it as painful let alone stretch or manipulate his body she said he was a very challenging case radiographer here as a student i met a patient who was a typical little old lady she came in with far too many shopping bags and walked extremely slowly she'd been sent by her gp because she'd fallen getting out of the bath a few weeks previous so we brought her in and took the first image ap pelvis if you were wondering and her pelvis was absolutely ruined turns out she had slipped and fallen with one leg in and one leg out of the bath and taken the whole fall on her vagina not wanting to cause a fuss this woman had ignored the pain and carried on her life as normal for weeks long enough for the fractures to be fairly healed albeit in a strange way not really resembling a pelvis much anymore when i was studying nursing i saw a man who had broken his knee in a motorcycle accident three days before the knee was at least three times its normal size the doctor asked him about the pain and he told him it wasn't that bad he was mostly annoyed at his family who had taken him to the emergency room i'm an oncology nurse my patients have some of the highest pain tolerances i have ever seen they literally have tumors taking over entire cavities in their bodies huge masses pressing on places that aren't supposed to be pressed on and literally eroding through their skin and they will ask me for pain meds when i have a second it amazes me not a doctor but my goddaughter was born very prematurely requiring a major open heart surgery at two weeks old but we were told by her docs that since she'd gone through so much surgical trauma the first few weeks of her life as a neonate her pain receptors nerve endings would not develop normally they gave us the example that if she put her hand on a hot stove as a kid she would have sustained a severe burn before feeling any pain whatsoever she never cried as a kid when she got shots fell down banged into things even when it was enough to draw blood i suspect her medical history was the cause i'm a nurse who used to work in orthopedics the amount of people who would guzzle oral morphine was unbelievable older adults s little old ladies would just take two paracetamol and would be totally fine my dad has an unusually high pain tolerance he was cleaning a fishing pole in our backyard once when he didn't notice that the pole had splintered and pulled his hand down on it the force caused the pole to snap in half and drive itself all the way through his hand he stood up walked in the kitchen with pole hanging out of his hand and calmly asked my mom if he should just pull it out or go to the air since it was a fiberglass one he opted for the er just in case something was broken off inside his hand and the list goes on and on and gets worse the other was when he fell off a ladder and shattered his leg the bone came through the skin and he was [ __ ] about going to the air a doctor here i can't count on two hands the number of patients i have seen that are covered in tattoos and are scared of needles ivs i mean complete phobia it makes absolutely no sense if anyone can enlighten me as to how this phenomenon can exist i'd appreciate it to quote a friend of a friend when asked by an adopt who queried why he was freaking out over getting a tetanus shot after having a cut sewn up without anesthetic that's why it's called an irrational fear of needles a doctor here my intern year in residency i saw a 17 year old kid who when while playing hockey tried to stop a puck with a gloved hand it struck his fingertip injuring the base of his nail causing a significant deformity his nail bed needed repair which requires first removing the nail that is done by bluntly dissecting reed separating the nail from the tissue below it if your stomach didn't turn reading that and imagining it congratulations you have no soul typically we use a numbing agent to eliminate sensation to the entire finger using something called a digital block i put it in after 10 minutes he still felt me touching his fingertip i tried putting some around the nail he still felt everything his mother said his father actually had a similar thing little king didn't work on him i offered him a different numbing medicine we can inject benadryl in that case or even knocking him out he looked at me in the eyes and said doc just take it off without anything yeah it's fine they fix our cuts without numbing medicine but it's gonna hurt a lot i have to scrape i know so i went at it he grabbed a towel with his other hand and i went to work 45 minutes later the nail was off he was repaired and i replaced the nail in its rightful place the kid didn't even make a noise tl dr hockey players are freaking badass holy frick i'm ready to puke just reading that oh my god a doc here 54 year old guy comes in with a heart attack keeps telling us he's fine he looked sick when we begin switching out the emts monitors for our own on his chest he says don't worry about that it is my elbow that is the problem not two seconds after he finished that sentence he was dead luckily we were able to revive him i kept track of his case while he was upstairs and he left the hospital alive and without any neurological deficits it feels good nurse here while in school i had a seven-year-old girl who had broke her hip by getting bounced off a trampoline they lived a few hours out of town and when it happened they knew she was hurt but not how bad so her parents put her in the back of the truck and hauled her for 45 plus minutes to their local hospital she got there they did x-rays and found it was worried too bad for them to treat and that she needed to come to us they rushed the family out without anything for pain for this little one for another hour plus ride to horror this girl didn't shed a tear she was hands down the toughest patient i've ever had had a 19 year old do the same while skateboarding and i had to pull him out of the car while another nurse held his leg in place some people will amaze you with their strength and braveness not a nurse but a medical technician at a couple of large events in my country working at a racing track i had both of these people coming on the same day male 54 years swedish small cut on hand his reaction to me pouring water saline in his wound o w o w o w o w o w it hurts when you put disinfectant in there be careful male 32 years finish deep cut in right forearm his humeral bone was visible no it doesn't hurt now just tape it the frick up so i can get back on my bike as a swedish person i tell you this do not freak with the finnish people patience in a sickle cell crisis i've pushed up to 14 milligrams of dilorded one two milligrams at a time into these patients without a resulting change in vital signs or mentation however i've also seen young men competing in rodeos who have been stomped by a bull a few times coming with broken ribs and a pneumothorax saying it's just a scratch and declining pain medications emt here i once took a kid about 18 19 to the air screaming all the way for sunburn sunburn i mean yeah sunburn isn't fun but this kid was claiming nine stroke ten pain and whimpering i was astounded charge nurse and i giggled about it for weeks a friend told me an old boy came in with a large laceration on his arm suturing it up took over an hour but can be quite fun as you can chat to the patients my friend was engrossed talking to him about his experiences in the second world war and really enjoyed treating him the old chap was in good spirits throughout and told him lots of interesting stories about his time behind enemy lines or in trenches in flanders after he put the last stitch in my friend started clearing up and found the local anaesthetic bottle and opened he realized he not put any local in at all and yet the guy didn't want flinch leave a side complain when asked why he didn't say anything he just said oh i thought that's how it's supposed to feel i didn't mind lovely chatting to you then walked out don't make game how they used to you gotta watch those old guys anybody of the generation that fought in korea or world war ii will get up and walk on two broken ankles for a chest x-ray tough guys i've had a few patients in trich swear that their pain was 10 stroke 10 while eating drinking laughing playing on cell phone i'll charge whatever number that they said and then put in the notes patient laughing insert verb or emotion i had one nurse that when a patient would say a certain number she'd hand them a card that would say at a pain level of seven you would be sweating vital signs would be elevated you would be nauseated and probably vomiting then she'd ask you sure your seven nine stroke ten will change their answers med seekers and junkies coming down have the same level of pain tolerance barely touch the junkies and they flip out due to pain whereas the med seekers attempt that crap and overact i saw a guy try to fake a seizure and it was the funniest crap ever he was curling his hands up like he had cp and leaning his head back to gather spit so he could foam at the mouth med seekers will always be allergic to morphine and need die lorded and ate even i don't think i have met anyone with a high pain tolerance some chick came in with cysts on her ovaries and declined meds because she was in recovery so that is actually pretty bad but not in a doctor but i went to the air with my younger brother after a ski accident my brother fell on his back off quite a big drop causing his sternum split open a few runs later he said he was sure something was wrong with his chest so we eventually got to the air the doctor was shocked that he was able to continue skiing after it and that he wasn't writhing in pain when it was touched my brother's explanation was yeah it hurts but i can't do anything about it my friend's dog piled on my chest when i turned 16 and we heard a loud pop it was my sternum my chest hurt but i never went to the doctor to this day if i stretch my arms out and take a deep breath i can pop my sternum like people pop their knuckles my grandmother wouldn't take pain medicine not sure why but even getting dental work done she didn't want numbing agents the only time i know that she took pain meds was some aspirin after getting t-boned while driving and hurting her shoulder she passed away last year from als a few weeks before her 80th birthday she was the most independent person i've ever known and even having to rely on her kids for help she didn't complain the aspirin was probably given to her to reduce the risk of a blood clot dvt older people risk having a strong after impact injuries not a doctor but had a good one from my pcp he had an older marine that came in reason being stiff neck and nausea does his normal workup rules out c-spine injury decides to test for meningitis tells the guide to touch his chin to his chest turn left turn right look up nothing tells the guy to stand on his toes and drop onto his heels and the guy nearly collapses and then vomits on the floor doc asks didn't it hurt when you touched your chin to your chest marine replies yes it freaking hurt but what does that have to do with it i'm your doctor you're supposed to tell me when something is wrong the marine just looked at him with a slightly blank look on his face and said oh sorry doc won't happen again when my daughter was five she severed her ring finger in a door i was making lunch for a picnic when she realized her teddy bear was in her room and you can't have a picnic without a teddy bear she went upstairs to grab it when i heard a slam and one single blood cuddling scream then silence i ran to see what was the matter and my little daughter was sitting on the floor in front of her door covered in blood and staring at something she looked at me and said my finger is off mama i wrapped her hand in a towel picked up her finger and called 9-1-1 in the ambulance the paramedic was asking her questions about how much pain she was in and she told him that it's the most hurty thing ever but she was more sad that she ruined teddy with her blood they ended up being able to reattach the finger but her teddy was ruined i tried to wash him but he didn't came clean the whole upstairs looked like a murder scene i even washed blood off the ceiling a few days later the paramedic knocked at the door with the biggest teddy bear i ever saw he gave it to my daughter and told her that she was the bravest little girl in the world it was really sweet i had a patient 60 something male who had three of his fingers mostly amputated by a snowblower at about the level of the second knuckle he came in with his fingers hanging from skin flaps and was totally stoic not only was he a 0 out of 10 for pain his vitals were rock steady no alteration in heart rate or blood pressure he kept joking around about it i just cut him off they'll grow back this guy remained a 0 out of 10 for the entire time even when they just cut him off his biggest concern was getting out of the air in time to watch a football game badass mother stark contrast are the patients i get to scream bloody murder and cry when the blood pressure cuff is pumped up on their arm grown adults are you kidding me also screaming and crying is only going to make your bp go up causing that cuff to squeeze tighter and tighter a nurse here there are of course exceptions to the rule but generally i see elderly with a much higher tolerance to pain than younger patients an 87 year old lady can have a fall break her hip and be resting comfortably barely complaining of pain but a man in his 20s can come in with the same type of fall and barely be bruised and be writhing off of the bed of course it can pain med seeking behavior cultural differences in age or just to the people in general but this seems to be what i see on on a daily basis i broke my wrist when i was 12 after a bad bike crash i flipped the handlebars and landed on my neck and slid a couple dozen feet the impact shattered my helmet anyway in the air nurses are setting up an iv in the arm that wasn't injured when i explained i landed on my neck and it was hurting they asked where so i instinctively used my broken wristed hand to point every single person in the room go zoo and just kind stops and looked at me and i guess i was in shock because i kinda just looked around like wtf happened eastern european guy had a circular saw accident that cut his leg down through the muscle the wound was about eight inches long was covering trauma surg that night and got called down to sew it up there had drugged him up and i brought a med student with me and i walked him through aggressively irrigating the wound reapproximating the muscle and doing a loose suture approximation of the skin the student took some time and we redid several sutures in the skin and muscle layers because they were too loose tight etc after about 45 minutes we were done i asked they are attending how much morphine he gave him so i could rados he replied that he didn't order anything yet and was waiting for me the patient's last dose was in the ambulance hours ago i immediately asked the guy how he was feeling while injecting the crap out of him with local he said i feel fine the guy didn't even flinch the entire time we were working he was connected to a monitor and his heart rate didn't even budge tldr never get into a fight with a lithuanian man or circular saw when i was about 12 i fell on black ice and hurt my ankle i knew it was bad so i asked someone to call me an ambulance i wasn't crying or anything when they put me in the ambulance paramedics told me it's probably just a sprain i get my x-rays and bam ankle broken in three places and foot dislocated i saw the paramedic as i was leaving the hospital and he told me he thought it was nothing because i didn't make a peep i didn't shed a tear about a week late because my leg was hurting i get to the hospital and the doc says we'll cut your cast off but i don't think we're gonna find anything he leaves the nurses take the cast off and my entire leg is green black purple blue and i am pretty sure some new colors that no one has ever seen before also had a bunch of pressure blisters so the dock walks and looks like he's in shock when he sees my leg and then leaves without saying a word then a new dog comes in and gave me a cool cast that i could take off to air out and look at my leg my pain tolerance tends to freak me over also frick that doctor i am a radiographer and a nur we frequently have to move patients with broken bones to get our pictures the elderly have a surprisingly high pain tolerance i've seen elderly patients move limbs with obvious breaks to accommodate our needs without a peep a people with the least pain tolerance seem to be the younger crowd ranging from 15 30 they whine and whale from the slightest touch and more often than not the ones with no brakes whine and scream the most i've sprained and broken a few limbs in my lifetime to be fair the sprains far and away hurt worse than the brakes like spraining my ankle hurt a heck of a lot worse than when i fractured three ribs and a wrist all at once not a doctor but i recently broke my femur when it happened the first 30 seconds was the most intense pain after that i was calm not in much pain and joking and such the only nothings that hurt that could get really any reaction was moving me from stretcher to bed then x-ray table and then the worst but relieving pain they put a boot made out of soft stuff on my leg and then they pulled my bones were overlapped by three inches in fill the bones were a little more lined up then they put a weight on the end but during that time the nurse lady saw my face in a grunting face i guess and she said you can cry and scream if you want i just shook my head my mom recently had a heart attack so i didn't want to scare her that's actually really sweet not a doctor or nurse but this happened to me i completely shattered my knee and part of my leg after i was running and slipped on some ice into a stone wall i was with a group of friends and all this all was me slide and hit the wall they came over and asked if i was okay in a normal voice i said i couldn't move my leg no tears screaming or anything no one believed me but after a minute or two i convinced them to call nine one one the whole time i was waiting for ambulance about 30 minutes i was talking to them normally and no one believed i was actually hurt until i started going in and out of consciousness right as the paramedics got there i started to wake up they got out and they didn't think anything was wrong until they cut my pants off and saw my femur was almost protruding out of my leg i had no kneecap in top so the tibia and fibia were protruding out they took me to hospital no drugs in the ambulance as i was joking around with them that is asking if i'm allergic to anything i told the apparently stone walls they got me to hospital and rushed me into it the doctors came over and were shocked i wasn't screaming or crying then about an hour after the initial injury the pain finally started in once they started moving the leg about three doses of morphine because one wasn't enough and one of demerol i don't remember the next couple days besides bits and pieces but all the nurses and doctors told me i had one of the highest pain tolerances they have seen although i imagine it wasn't really my choice mostly the brain just shutting it down because i was in so much shock and had so much trauma you're really lucky that an artery wasn't severed not in a doc or nurse but i work side by side within a doctor i saw an eight-year-old boy come in with a compound fracture to his left humerus upper arm first thing i noticed was him strolling in not a terrible grimace on his face blood pouring down his arm and a bloody rag held down near his elbow first thing i thought was he probably had a decent laceration to his arm pretty tough but nothing too impressive i get into the room and see that the rag was removed and holy crap that's a bone sticking out of his arm how the heck is this kid not bowling and how the heck did he just walk into the air barely cradling his arm right then i knew this kid was tough little did i know that he was about to become superman so i'm sitting there admiring this gruesome wound and listening to his backstory apparently the kid was out with a friend riding a four-wheeler when they accidentally drove into a ditch and flipped the vehicle kid was thrown and the quad rolled over his arm this was about four miles out in the middle of nowhere over bumpy dirt trails so of course he just jumps on the quad and rides the four miles back to his house with a bone sticking from his arm then has his dad just lisa lee drives him the 30 minutes into town to the hospital and strolls on in best part when the doctor said that they needed an x-ray of the arm he just casually asks before you move it can i get a little pain medication it sort of hurts most badass eight-year-old i have ever seen medical professionals what is the most overtly self-inflicted sexual injury you've encountered that your patient attempted to pass off as completely innocently obtained my aunt is a doctor and usually pretty strict about a vow of silence and one day this old guy showed up with a carrot stuck in his butthole it's obviously awkward so my aunt decided not to ask too many questions but the dude was constantly like how did this happen and i swear to god well my aunt does that the guy kept asking if it might have been because he'd eaten carrot soup two days before woman comes into the air with a butt plug with a tail sticking out she initially said that she was dressing up for a kid's birthday party and that her costume was stuck and she couldn't take it off i wanted to ask well how old was the kid but i didn't want to embarrass her even more elderly man and wife enter the ed the male's in obvious distress but he initially refused to elaborate in trij once roomed he will not speak with his wife present when alone with staff he finally tells us he had a plastic easter egg lodge deep his bum asked with what happened he simply replies i wanted to know what it's like to be a chicken he done clucked up friend of mine is an andy nurse she had a bloke [ __ ] who had had his scrotum ripped open it turned out he liked to wade into the local pond stark naked and scattered bread around his genitalia for the ducks to nibble on one had got impatient and gone for the whole payday in one chomp and refused to let go he had eventually ripped the skin pulling it off this didn't happen to me it happened to my host mother in france while i lived with her she isn't a surgeon she comes in one morning after working all night all disheveled looking and just pee this isn't her normal demeanor i ask her what's wrong and she says i just spent the entire night on one patient some idiot who stuck a jar in his butt and then it shattered i said wow that's really disturbing and sounds awful but why are you so mad this isn't like you and she replies because this is the second time i've performed this procedure for this piece of crap some idiot who stuck a jar in his butt and then it shattered no oh wtf not again light bulbs and glass jars all over this thread wtf there was a guy who had a jar of peanut butter stuck in his butt around his anus was a mess of caked on peanut butter and dried blood i believe surgery ended up having to be consulted he just said it just kind of happened also sexual but not really an injury had a patient come in our psychiatric crisis center who was non-complained with her schizophrenia meds she claimed she had seen her ob gyn because a demon in her vagina was becoming more active lately the ob gyn recommended she come to us he just said it just kind of happened really the only thing that you need to say for any sort of sex injury guy came in with a vacuum cleaner nozzle around his penis tried to hide it and his nakedness by wearing a great coat probably would have gotten away with it except that he didn't detach the henry hoover which was trailing in after him i don't know if they exist anywhere but the uk but basically a henry hoover is a small vacuum with a cartoon smiley face that they paint on the front can't see one without thinking of this incident i worked as an orderly in the local arizona university student and a man came in with a vacuum cleaner hose stuck on his penis he arrived wearing a sweater shoes and a blanket and insisted that he had been instructed to clean his house while nude because of his dust allergy while vacuuming the man had become his words inexplicably fatigued and took an impromptu nap with the hoover still running at this time his penis must have flopped into the vacuum hose his his arousal was he insisted involuntary the hose was finally cut off with a surgical rotary saw the end of that sounds terrifying teenager comes in complaining that he can't pee i take him to an examination room and ask him to drop his pants and to my utter surprise i see two iphone earbuds sticking out of his penis his story was that he was sleeping naked while listening to music and his earbuds must have fallen out and while he was tossing and turning they naturally worked their way into his penis anyway he ended up needing surgery because they'd knotted and we were unable to remove them with the cystoscope after reading all of these excuses i'm starting to wonder if anyone ever comes into the hospital with nothing to hide something like ye i stuck a toy boat up my butt because it makes my orgasm better when i masturbate then i couldn't get it out not a medical professional but a patient and i've had the opposite happen i had a totally accidental injury happen and had all the doctors sure it was a weird sex thing so for a few years i was working at home so i didn't bother to get dressed usually i just spend all day wandering around in some pajama pants the kind that has a little flap you can stick your dong out of but it doesn't actually close just kind of folds a little i decided i'd cook a few hot dogs for lunch so i take them out of the toaster over and they are hot and greasy as heck i sit down take one bite and the hot dog shoots right out of the bun and directly into the open fly of my pants burning my cash and prized badly so i ended up going to the hospital with my junk tucked into in a plastic cup full of ice water the doctor asks what happens i tell him and he says son it's fine if you don't want to tell me but you don't need to lie to me he wouldn't believe that's what happened he gave me some cream and told me to apply it and that was it i believe you i usually can't be bothered to dress in my own home especially on a hot day i once put a still two frozen chunk of meat into an oil frying pan and had the grease explode on me like it will doc refused to believe that i didn't have someone drip hot oil onto my tea as a sex thing i didn't even know that was a kink not an injury but still a guy came to the air and asked to be tested for stds when i asked him what had happened he told me that he was driving and stopped to pee behind a gas station and the moment he finished peeing a guy jumped out from a bush and gave him a quick kiss on his penis maybe a little late but here goes a teenage boy came into the emergency department with his mother i remember he was wearing a long coat and looked kind of glum turns out he'd ordered too much kfc and had a drumstick left so what did he decide to do that's right he shoved it up his arse now the arse wants what he wants and refused to give a chicken leg back so after some unsuccessful manipulation he did what any teenage boy would do in a situation with no easy solution he called his mother after she also failed to remove the chicken leg it was determined that a visit to hospital was in order i remember that after the receptionist took the details she directed them to the waiting room and told them to sit over there and with a perfectly straight face the mum said i think we'll stand urologists here the following are my last three one penis stuck in the handles of a pair of scissors the penis had gotten so swollen that we couldn't get the scissors off despite squeezing his penis for 30 minutes had to dremel off the scissors he said that he fell asleep in his chair while doing arts and crafts naked and didn't realize until he woke up that the scissors had ring tossed onto his dong two guy stuck a butter knife in his urethra into his rectum required a huge repair and a colostomy for a while he says he fell on it but this guy regularly visits our eddy with foreign bodies in his urethra pens plastic spoons rolled up tape three last kid took his dad's penile injections one form of medical treatment for erectile dysfunction when things like the ogre fail is a self-injection of a mix of medications into the penis and injected maybe 10x the dose he claims he was just really into his pee long story short erection over eight hours penis was woody and starting to turn black barely saved it by doing a shunt procedure kid will need a penile prosthesis in the future we only know because his dad found the vial and was able to tell us how much was missing regarding the third one that is why lock up more than your pain meds crap man people are crazy not really an injury but we had a guy walk into the air claiming to have a stick stuck in his urethra he claimed that the reason a stick was in his urethra was because he put it there to help maintain his erection but then he lost it after several physical exams by multiple professionals an x-ray was taken of his pelvis and penis my job turned out to be negative doc ordered an ultrasound of bladder and penis also negative the physician came to the conclusion if the patient could urinate then he was fine to leave so they asked for a urine sample the nurse gave the guy his cup and left the room when she came back in the urine sample was an obviously planted stick it was far too awkwardly shaped to have ever been inserted and if it was no way it would pop out with urination tl dr guy tricked an entire into fondling his junk for most of an evening by pretending to have a stick in his urethra that's actually a fairly interesting plot twist in this thread worked in the air for 80 years so i've got a lot most were fairly generic if that's at all possible but there's one that stands out due to the sheer audacity of the patient a gentleman presents to the emergency room stating that he fell upon further assessment we asked him to sit down and he couldn't it's discovered that while changing a light bulb in his closet naked of course he fell off the ladder and landed on an object what was that object i thought you'd never ask this gentleman had allegedly fallen but first onto the aluminum tube of a two-piece vacuum cleaner you would expect that this would be extremely dangerous but conveniently this dude stored said cleaning a plant with a couple of tube socks and a latex condom covering the top of it one would assume to keep the dust out of it as the pieces of this little mystery came together the patient never wavered from his original story you see some pretty freaked up stuff in the air but i can honestly say that there are few things that are more bizarre than a pelvic x-ray film on a vue box with a giant white line shooting up the middle of it dude must have had it a foot deep went to the or and had it removed learned a valuable lesson about changing light bulbs in the buff learned a valuable lesson about changing light bulbs in the buff and also about keeping your vacuum accessories clean and lubed imagine how disastrous that accident would have been if he hadn't i have a good one from my wife when she was doing her surgery clinical rotation in medical school one night they had a guy come in the ed with a big tub of vaseline stuck up his butt they tried pulling it out no luck so they tried giving him muscle relaxers to see if it would help get it out it didn't and he needed surgery they wheel him to the or and still were having a hard time getting the tub out of this poor guy's butt the surgeon ended up going next door to the orthopedic docks operating to borrow some of their power tools they tapped a screw into the tub and it took one of the author sagrians and the original surgeon pulling on it at the same time to get it to come out she said the sucking sound it made as it was coming up was epic maybe they should have tried using some vaseline to lube it up my cousin told me this she isn't a nurse guy comes and said his girlfriend was getting frisky and put a tennis ball in his butt a few hours later x-ray revealed that not one or two but four tennis balls were somehow up there another one was way worse guy came in and was inserting a screwdriver in his butt it went in too quickly said and it sucked it and he tried to push it out but ended up perforating his rectum and came out his taint they had no idea how but he walked it calmly explained to the reception she didn't believe him because there was no way he wasn't screaming turns out he was on ma and masculine she didn't believe him because there was no way he wasn't screaming i think now we're all screaming for him not exactly sexual but when we had gynecology and obstetrics in med school we got this girl and from the psychiatric ward the reason she got referred to gynecology was that she was smelly yep really so we didn't quite understand the referral until we got in the room and met the patient the patient is a skinny young girl with the foulest necrosis like odor i have ever felt it was literally so bad half of us had to leave the room the paramedics also commented that they had to roll down all the windows when driving her there according to the referral the smell had been there for several weeks and they had tried everything including forcing her to shower to make it end and now they sent her here to rule out gynecological issues well what we found when we put her in the stirrups was that this girl had anorexia and as a means of hiding her uneaten food from the hospital staff guess where she had been putting her chewed up pieces of food yup she of course told us she had never put anything up there well either there's a disease that makes potatoes grow in your vagina or she was lying we dug out tons of literally rotten meat from this poor girl's vaginal cavity some of it had to have been in there for a while and put her on antibiotics for the terrible infection she of course had hospital food where i went to school iced great in general and it didn't help to let in ferment for a few weeks in an acidic environment full of bacteria i will never forget that smell this may have to go on our reddit's museum of filth inmate got his dong stuck in the metal bed frame in his cell twice in five days both times it had to be surgically removed just what you'd expect dude came in with perforated intestines my friend who was in medical school at the time chuckled at that diagnosis saying rightly so that use of the word perforated is a fair bit of an understatement patient claims he was cleaning naked and fell on the broom handle he was known by the staff as brown closet bonus round not self-induced near as i can tell bitter much older woman came in one evening with a prolapsed uterus cervix that was an interesting night especially when the women began to realize that was actually a thing that could happen happened just the other day actually i work part-time security at a hospital emergency room the other night after a woman had been there about five minutes without being taken back she started to freak out she started to scream and i quote that there was crap falling out of her vagina and that they needed to fix this crap we eventually had to restrain her due to her non-compliance and when we had her restrained i looked down at the her crotch of her pants and there was nothing but blood come to find out she had been having intercourse with a light bulb that busted while inside of her i worked in a hospital did ekg for the year and was also a nurse tech a couple was admitted 40-something year old dude and 20-something female i was called for two monitors came in behind the curtain to the two in the same bed odd i thought removed the covers to find them naked from the waist down with fish tank tubing connecting their urethras p holes i was taken back but moved on professionally hooking them to ekg monitors i asked the doctor wtf was going on he did they were pee back and forth into each other and the tube developed a suction leaving them bound together for the world to witness i asked the doctor if they'll need surgery and he replied no you simply cause a tube to break suction but i'm leaving them hooked together until the emergency contact shows up i.e the dude's wife i've told this one on here several times but why not again obligatory not me but a friend a friend of mine worked at reception for the emergency room overnight one night he had a frat guy coming with two of his frat brothers the guy's lower half was wrapped in a sheet and he couldn't really sit down turns out the guy had made a drunken bet with his friends that he could lift a five pound weight with his dong he attempted this by sticking his dong through the hole in a five pound barbell weight then he got hard in an attempt to lift the weight problem was his dong could fit into the hole soft but wouldn't come back out hard blood trapped in the tip made it swell and the weight wouldn't come off if i remember correctly they tried ice to reduce the swelling but eventually just had to cut the weight off i'm betting that's the only time in that guy's life that he wished he had whiskey dong if i remember correctly they tried ice to reduce the swelling but eventually just had to cut the weight off that sentence had me on edge until the end a friend of mine was doing a headstand so his wife could give him a bj while he was upside down now he'd been a gymnast for years but he also hadn't been a gymnast for quite a few more years and he didn't realize that he wasn't in shape to hold a headstand for very long so the act was proceeding and he was enjoying it when he started to lose his balance rather than stop everything he tried to stay up he failed and managed to sprain his neck he told the people at the year that he tripped over his laundry basket ok it was me emergency medicine physician here around easter several years ago i had a college-aged male coming with two three of those plastic easter eggs stuck up his rectum that he couldn't get out he blamed it on a fraternity hazing incident gone bad but i have my doubts easter bunny is getting really clever these days about where he hides those not a medical professional but i did work as a temp filing patient records at a hospital for like two weeks saw the guy come in with huge cuts on his back and chest and he had to get treated for wounds caused by his partner flogging him too hard he tried to say something likely was cooking and fell on a few knives he dropped or something equally unbelievable smart of him to do that consent does not prevent someone from being arrested for battery assault tv priest with old school brute bottle all the way up is sigmoid he told me he fell being stupid young and not thinking of my career i quit back that must have been a very accurate fall father my uncle was an emt a while back he told me he took a call where a man cut off his own dong and balls he bled out before the ambulance even arrived i have to assume he did that to himself for some crazy sexual reason i'm regretting making this thread i worked as a circulating nurse in the or and once was called in the middle of the night to remove oxygen tubing from a ten yellow he had about four feet in before he couldn't shove anymore i was curious and asked he said it's my form of master bastion it feels good only if he saw how the doc removed it a prisoners are always good ones usually just do it to get out of jail prison i've seen staples pen caps the inside of a big pen bent in half in a v shape small angle in first also pencils paper clips pieces of broken plastic eating utensils and rolled up paper had a guy get a butt plug stuck and rectum claimed he didn't know how it got there my wife was a ceo in a prison for a while she told me some of the crazier stories the one that sticks with me is the time a guy somehow ripped open his scrotum pulled off his testies and assaulted a nurse by hitting her in the head with them needless to say guy went to a psychiatric ward i'm on the other end of this story kind of i got super drunk back in uni and slept with my ex somehow i managed to burst a blood vessel in my balls being drunk i thought nothing of the ridiculous pain made my ex bacon as an apology for suddenly losing my erections and passed right out the next day my balls were dodge ball sized and almost entire black with some blue bruising i'm white so the coloration was particularly pronounced after limping to the hospital the doctor spent about 20 minutes laughing at me and trying to get the real story out he just didn't believe it could have happened during normal sex after a few hours at the hospital and a lengthy ultrasound of my impregnated bulls acknowledge they determined that it was too blood-filled to find out much and sent me home with aspirin the swelling went down in about two months during which i only wore basketball shorts aside from the barrage of household items sucked into the lower intestines of various men claiming they were straight and please don't tell my wife one of the most memorable foreign body moments was a woman who came into our complaining of pelvic pain well that means you just signed up for a pelvic exam all of which are performed by a doctor with a nurse also present to assist me the patient assumed the position doctor began the exam run of the mill stuff then says oh nurse beaker targaryen could you hand me a specimen cup i had her one and the doctor asks the patient did you happen to insert anything into your vagina recently you have some funny color discharge and small pebble-sized objects i'm removing the patient doesn't miss a beat and says oh those are just skittles that's nothing new i always put them in there because my boyfriend likes the taste that whole taste the rainbow thing she had no idea that her self-inflicted candy-coated vagina which she had been doing daily for the last week was the cause of her discomfort i have lots of stories but i hope none of my patients are here one day a guy came with a slug stuck in his bladder he was playing with his gay partner and thought it would be a good idea to tie a sling to a slug and put in his urethra well as you can imagine the slug slipped out of the thread and went inside his bladder and that was the one and only time i would remove a life slug from someone's bladder i spent five years as a corpsman which made me an alternative for some marines you'd be surprised how many grown men fall onto shampoo bottles in the shower you fell on it well how did it go in upside down a 14 year old came into emergency with a nintendo 3ds stylus inserted down his shaft when asked why he put it there he replied he dropped it he proceeded to tell us how it fell in his lap and somehow went deep down into his urethra we didn't believe that here is a list of things i've removed from people's rectums a 750 milliliters wine bottle empty jar of paste picante sauce half full grenade a freaking grenade no football quick drying concrete hot wheels dildos dildos dildos a smorgasbord of various vegetables and fruit tennis ball hamster barbie doll cell phones several pistols pounds of cnh and my personal favorite a nike pegasus running shoe i like to think the shoe was the result of someone carrying through on the ima put my foot so far up your butt threat doctors over at it what's the creepiest thing you've encountered while on the job i'm not a doctor but i am in the healthcare field as a dental hygienist the creepiest most confusing thing i've seen is as follows we had a new patient coming for a cleaning he was around three stroke four and mom said he had never been to the dentist before not uncommon for what i see on a daily basis so at first i didn't think anything of it i did his cleaning and then went to take his routines raise this is where the crap got weird after looking at those rays i could see that the child had already had a large amount of dental work done he had around six stroke seven composite tooth color fillings when i sat back down at my chair i asked the parents again if he had ever been to the dentist they were both adamant that he hadn't and also said there was no way a relative could have taken the without them knowing what the frick how did this happen who took him where were the parents had they possibly been in jail for a long time and not known he was taken to the dentist by someone else and had work performed what if this wasn't really their child and actually some kid that kidnapped his insurance had no record of him having previous dental work so that was a dead end too i think about it often but know that ultimately i'll never get an answer it sucks the family never came back in for his routine cleanings i just hope that whatever the situation the child is safe and being taken care of my great-grandmother told us the exact day she would day more than two years in advance my great-grandfather had passed away years earlier and she was always telling us she wanted to go home her wedding for pass away and get back to grand dad well i had one child and she was waiting for her to turn to but right before my daughter's second birthday i got pregnant with my son i was barely pregnant but she told me i'll wait till this baby is two then i'm going home she adored her great-great-grandbabies and told everyone she was waiting till the baby boy turned two and she passed away in her sleep on his second birthday though i was sad i mean she'd been planning it for two and a half years but seriously too the day paramedic here we got a call to go out to a scene for an elderly woman with chest pains arrive at the house front door is open we knock hear the old woman calling out from the back i'm in the back room in a very monotone and calm voice my partner and i go to the back of the house looking for this woman and that's when we smelled it nothing prepares you for the smell of rotting corpse i've smelled it a dozen times and it never gets any less disturbing we radio for police and als back up as we move through the house we opened the door to the master bedroom and there is our patient she is approximately 80 and she is staring at the master bathroom with these cold dead eyes she never once looked at us as we approached her and began talking to her i got to the bedside and got in front of her gaze and she just looked right through me i turned around to see what she could possibly be looking at and there was the source of my smell a man about the same age as my patient is on the floor with very little left of his head still attached to his body a shotgun lay on the floor next to him and most of his head was strewn about the walls and bathroom counter we loaded the woman up in the ambulance and our police backup pulled up i don't think that woman blinked once the entire time she was in our care totally freaked me up not a doctor but used to work the 9-1-1 line at night which resulted in numerous interesting tales here's one most nights were long and boring for me as the phone didn't ring much and i was mainly in charge of the fire department dispatchers that's where i worked and i was just doing a rotation in there but i was still on the 9-1-1 line and coordinated with the other agencies police medical so forth often i'd come in hook up my 360 and kick back for the night dealing with maybe a few calls that amounted to a whole lot of nothing so there i am playing fallout 3 when the 9-1-1 line goes off and i answer without any problem me 9-1-1 state your crime or emergency guy incredibly calm voice hello i was just attacked by two large black men who beat me mugged me and then cut off my dong i just sit there in silence for a moment trying to process what i just heard me so i'm sorry did you just say they cut off your dong guy yes they did and mugged me too i'm in desperate need of medical attention by now i'm sounding up all kinds of alarms to get everyone rolling because this is going to be a long one me so i'm going to need your location so i can get your help do you know where you are guy i'm not sure i'm in a lot of pain and there's a lot of blood i think they still have my dong now i'm trying to see where the call is coming from but unfortunately my system isn't registering a location i'm on the other line with the cops who are giving me the address while i'm still trying to talk with this guy me i'm getting your address now from the policer help is on the way just stay on the line with me until help arrives guy thank you i'm so embarrassed by this by now i'm kind of in disbelief that this guy is so collected but figure it is shock and it hasn't quite hit him yet out of nowhere i hear him start making this weird groaning sound and then he hangs up i dispatch out the call as a sensitive nature and get all crews rolling when i realize the location is directly across the street from the hospital i try to call the number back but get no answer however the 9-1-1 line rings again and it's the same guy saying the same thing and starting to sound a bit more panicked wanting help i try to keep him calm and can hear the sirens in the background but this only causes him to freak out more and i can't really understand what he's saying anymore finally the medical crew finds him and he's naked from the waist down had apparently messed himself while sitting on the floor and beyond that was unharmed apparently he was a dementia patient from the hospital across the street who woke up in the middle of the night put on a shirt and somehow wandered outside then when he became lost he called 9-1-1 and thought someone cut off his dong one of the only times where dementia is an improvement of a diagnosis people turn batshit crazy and creepy as heck when they get really sick there's even a term called iq psychosis and trust me it's real anyway the creepiest that takes the cake for me is this i'm an icu nurse btw had a patient who was admitted for overdose very long history of mental health problems she was thrashing around in bed very combative kicking people's asses for days totally incoherent well the night i had her she started making decent sense but still not oriented at all she was extremely paranoid and kept talking about the man in black in the corner i'd hear her talking to him and screaming all night long so i'd go in there and try to calm her down but you could see the fear in her eyes she was talking other nonsense about how she was in space and crap and with certain patients you try to redirect their reality but what i did didn't help she said that man in black don't you see him and pointed to the corner i said there's nobody here i stepped in the corner she was pointing to and waved my hands around while i'm waving my hands around in the air she had the most horrifically terrified look on her face that actually scared the crap out of me like i had just assaulted the man in black i said see there's nobody here and she said in a matter of factly you stupid dumb way that's what you think i promptly got the frick out of there not a doctor but i once had a patient chart on my desk that seemed a little fuller than most charts when i opened it there was a baggie stapled to the inside fill of dead skin cotton balls and hair chart notes said that the patient believed they had bugs crawling on their skin and brought in the baggy as proof they had been brought in by a friend who took the patient to the hospital and the urging of the doctor to seek psychiatric help because there was nothing there it was just dandruff and hair she ended up calling several months later and i somehow got the call she screamed at me about how we betrayed her because she came to us for help and we sent her away where she got a lot of medical bills that were stressing her out and making the bugs and worse not the worst story out there but i felt bad for the girl and she needed serious help 13 year old boy came in for routine checkup and vaccines at first he was already acting like an angsty teenager giving only one word answers at first and pouting while mother was in rome at this age i asked parents to step out of room to ask personal questions about fricking drugs tobacco alcohol etc he answered no to everything but after i asked is there anything you want to ask me before i have mom come in his tone changed he started to tear up and shudder and talk about seeing bloody shadows in his periphery and that he has been hearing voices for four years he always thought it was literally his subconscious and everyone could physically hear their own voices he only started to worry recently when his best friend died in a car wreck and now the voices were yelling at him he's stupid it's his fault kill yourself and then he said they were telling him to kill me thieve been telling him to kill others for weeks i didn't freak out but i was thinking i could not believe what i was hearing i had a psych team see him immediately and he was brought to a psych ward the mother was shocked and had no idea i saw him two months later and he was a completely different kid sarcastic as crap but funny and interactive and happy it was like night and day after summer purdle for whatever reason this creeped me out the most because i don't normally deal with psych i've seen lots of postmortem stuff dealing with trauma so i've been desensitized to lots of things but this event was the most surreal thing to me mainly because it was so unexpected the only other creepy thing was delivering a cyclops baby mother was healthy refugee from south america just a little older at age 36 but had no prenatal care it was more sad than creepy because the mother wanted to hold him to say goodbye after failing to resuscitate the baby's heart vessels were burned backwards and his lungs were severely under-developed according to the autopsy not a doctor but i work in a nursing home doing activities and housekeeping i answered a call light of a little old lady and she asked me to remove a as she put it large black woman from her bed but no one was in the bed i asked the lady to get up so she could go to bed didn't think anything of until i talked to her cnn and she had answered a call light the next room over and the gentleman in that room had asked the cna to have the large black lady to stop pointing at him and leave his room he is bedridden and only gets up for meals these two don't talk to each other so there is someone there it's made me watch things a little closer i'd love to think that there is a way that these guys could make up their own stories to freak the staff out just to have a bit of fun amongst the endless boredom my wife works on the oncology floor of our local hospital often she has elderly patients who are severely confused recently they had a patient on their floor who was mean to everyone he was a wife beater and got physical with some of the hospital staff on multiple occasions his health quickly turned very bad and soon after this happened the man who was in a cold room began telling people he was literally on fire he even called 9-1-1 to report him burning alive in his room he reported seeing people in his room telling him how horrible he was he also claimed to see a horned creature emerging over the end of his bed telling him that you're coming with me she requested not to have that patient anymore obligatory not a doctor statement but i work in a nursing home i wouldn't say it's the creepiest thing ever but i once had a patient who was hallucinating and kept talking about the person behind me i knew he was hallucinating but i'm not gonna say i didn't turn around and check a few times that's the kind of creepy i wanted to hear i flew to florida from ontario to pick up my 95 years old grandmother to take her back to toronto she has severe dementia and constantly was hiding food and clinics all the time for her protection in her mind on the plane she kept talking nonsense and just before we landed she said to me i think this will be the last time i go to florida why are you here with me i wouldn't want to travel with me when i am being so crazy all the time but i love you for doing it grandson right after that she asked me how much she owed me for picking her up and then slipped back into complete dementia again i will cherish that conversation for a long time she passed away one month later rn here i took care of a lady once she nearly died of sepsis blood infection she'd had multiple strokes and coded multiple times in the iq they'd given her levofed levo fed or leave him dead is what we say because levofed shunts blood from your extremities to your vital organs usually resulting in necrosis death of peripheral tissues this means when she came to me her fingers and toes were all black she wasn't quite right and i've seen lots of crazy but she truly unnerved me she never talked only whispered in this bright bubbly voice like the little girls but she said awful things like can you push me outside so i can chew my fingers off and she would smile all time she also had some really bad pressure ulcers bedsores from just basically being immobile for so long we had to dress her wounds daily she'd usually rip the dressings off pretty soon after we put them on one night i went into her room and saw a piece of what i thought was dressing on the floor upon closer examination it was a chunk of her own skin a partially healed skin graft to be exact still gives me shivers not a doctor but i work in a personal care home we used to have a resident who would constantly yell out hello drove us a bit bonkers after he passed away a lady moved into the room one night i was working a double evening tonight she pulled her cold bell i went in and she asked me to make him stop make who stop what the old man standing beside the bed he won't stop yelling hello how do you just not quit your job and move to kuwait after that not a doc but i am an emt honestly old demented women holding baby dolls they pet him and crap that baby is real to them freaks me the heck out while on an infectious disease elective i took care of a patient with a brain abscess the abscess had knocked out the language centers of the patient's brain resulting in an aphasia his words were completely scrambled 90 of the time ironically the patient was a computer scientist software engineer responsible for coding groundbreaking voice recognition technology the irony really creeped me out i worked in another and the creepiest thing i can remember wasn't so much an event as a look a four-month-old child was brought in because it had basically suffocated in its crib due to neglect the mother was there watching her baby die and maybe it was the drugs still coursing through her system maybe it was the shock but watching as honorable priests tells her outside that trauma bay heaven has claimed your daughter the glassy thousand mike stare she gave her she asked if there were police going to her house and if she could go home something that utterly wrecked everyone an hour and she had this otherworldly totally distant look because she was thinking about how she's going to get busted some days your faith in humanity is tested not a doctor but both of my parents were so here's a couple of the weirdest stories i remember mum was in a dock one night a guy came in who had tried to commit suicide he had used a shotgun but had stuck it under his chin instead of in his mouth and had angled this wrong so that he just blew most of his face off instead apparently he only lived about a block from the hospital so he just walked over with no jaw or nose and only one eye basically just a couple of bloody rasping holes instead of a face he was in such a state of shock that he just calmly walked in and sat down in the waiting area the other is much less gory and mostly just weird after retiring dad worked in geriatric care for a few of the nursing homes around town one guy had this really weird affliction that i can't remember the name of but it caused him to have really weird hallucinations like snakes coming out of his nose and mouth and the strange part was that he was completely lucid and actually really intelligent and my dad would talk to him frequently they would be discussing films or philosophy and the guy would occasionally calmly say hang on a second and then proceed to pull a two-foot invisible snake out of his nose he'd lay it on the ground and then it apparently would slither away he could talk about them and describe them in complete detail wish i could remember some others there was one they told when i was a kid that had something to do with a radioactive alligator but i don't remember the details also i kind of think that particular one might have been one of those stories nurse not doctor but i had a 91 year old woman who came in with a stroke she was unresponsive and breathing at about 44 respirations per minute hyperventilating this went on for about three days we were waiting for grandma to kick the bucket any minute all of a sudden her bed alarm went off we figured it was a visitor who had leaned on her bed too hard because that can send it off so i don't exactly bowl to her room when i get in there she is sitting up legs swung over the side of the bed yelling i need to pee i get her to the commode and get her back to bed she stops balling saying she wants to see her husband who is long dead she died two days later not a doctor but a nursing student studying psychiatric and geriatric nursing we spend 12 hours shifts at the hospital nursing home twice a week and usually rotate patients one of the things that constantly freaks me out is when a patient says something like i'm dying they usually do die within a couple days if not hours after having said that at one of the nursing homes we did clinical at they take this as a very serious ominous sign i've seen this in both critical care patients and patients who are expected to discharge that same week it's not uncommon for them to say they see their parents loved ones etc and then pass away shortly after not saying every patient that said that has died but i've seen enough that i take it seriously and it gives me the spooks not a doctor but care provider in a home for developmentally disabled adults some details changed for anonymity privacy a longtime client whose mentality interests were comparable to four six year old would cover his head with the bedding when he went to bed when staff playfully asked him what he was doing he'd tell staff he was hiding from the ghosts he never identified the ghosts and did this for years so staff always thought it was just the client being playful at one point this client didn't want to do his normal routine like eat drink stay up to watch television or use the restroom while bathing the client said he was seeing ghosts and pointed staff replied what ghosts in the client said my mom and dad going to take me home staff gently reminded the client that his parents had already passed away that they couldn't possibly take him out that weekend within 72 hours of telling staff he saw the ghosts of his mom and dad that client went to the air was admitted to the hospital and passed away i was the one that had spent half the night in the air with that client i had taken him to the air before and other routine medical appointments this client was known for being rather combative during such visits but was unusually peaceful the entire time the last time he went to the air when i went to the client's memorial i told the client's family that i thought he knew it was his time based on how calm he was i didn't disclose the part about seeing ghosts of his parents shortly before the visit doctors over it even after learning and seeing the gross and gory aspects of medicine what still makes your skin crawl i can handle skin sloughing diseases gore and in head tweakers just fine but dang i hate parasites bed bugs scabies tapeworms fun fact you can end up with tapeworm eggs in your brain if you have tapeworms and your hygiene is rank enough how rank is rank enough large parasites that live in the skin i can deal with worms in the organs or microscopic spiders living in my face pores but when it comes to scabies or butterflies i want to claw my own skin off all the creepy crawlies living where they shouldn't be the more slivery the worse it is a kid is awoken by intense pain and a scratching sound in the ear usually a cockroach not so bad but a hassle to remove piecemeal leg by leg if it comes to that some guy is complaining of nasal congestion and some bleeding months after a vacation yup leeches in the nasal cavity i'm never going swimming in any rivers ever diabetic patient complaining of a non-healing wound behind his ear i scoop out dozens of maggots from underneath the skin flaps and they're falling on the patient stretcher a pregnant patient admitted for delivery is complaining of itching down there after maybe straining a bit too much and a scaris roundworm is poking its head out the butt and saying hello always makes me gag when i have to be the one to remove them i'm a trauma surgeon so blood and mangled bodies doesn't really faze me but full body skin conditions do things like eczema herpeticum and norwegian scabies make me itch all over and really uncomfortable eczema herpeticum i can tell just from the amount of time it took me to pronounce that that it isn't pleasant very little does i can see blood guts death and very little phases me but watching any video of somebody breaking a bone gets a big nope out of me the freaking louisville basketball player who had his tibia break through his skin during the game is the worst thing i've ever watched on live tv how cruel people can be dealing with disease is one thing but dealing with victims of any kind of assault domestic violence or mass tragedy is chilling to the bone yeah i can only imagine how hard that must be i've seen all sorts of disgusting and gory things which uniface me but for some reason chopped or dismembered fingers still get me kinda the same here crazy injuries gore infections etc fascinate me but anything to do with clean deep cuts i can't handle scabies definitely scabies don't want it don't want to be near it try not to touch people i'm diagnosing with it makes my skin itch just thinking about it patient asmr skip the gown because we all have it it's fine whatevs a patient has scabies bedbugs jesus freaking christ where the frick is my third ppe gunter i need six gloves and four shoe covers and if they even so much as touch me i'm taking a bath in bleach i left my phone in the break room because if it fell out of my pocket it will stay there till the end of time obligatory not a doctor but work at a vet abscesses dead living hit by car fine with all that and a little fascinated maggot cat though shudder for me it's nasty teeth there are very few things that move me in any way medicine or otherwise but damn nasty teeth i could never ever be a dentist my friend works in emergency medicine and can't stand hand wounds she's the toughest most bad butt lady i know but hand wounds make her swoon like a medieval maiden among other doctors i know it's usually skin conditions and burns the common thing we all hate is abuse for me it's nasty teeth do not try to google images of rotten gums they are nasty and maggot filled and just sad and i'm going to brush like 10x more than normal when i get home now i don't mind pus blood poop urine but for the love of god i can't stand saliva it grosses me out when anesthesia suctions out saliva arty here love me some sputum all day long night shift actually there's nothing quite as satisfying as sucking a huge goober out of the back of someone's throat or a trash when you really clear them for the first time since they arrived and it's so thick it won't even get down the catheter for me vomit is the line if i smell vomit it makes me vomit not a doctor bitter former funeral professional i've seen and smelled and handled the goriest of gore in my day but i still can't stand cleaning out someone's nostrils and getting crusty boogers out hook you should just hold the tissue up to their nose and say blow not a doctor but i was a combat medic in the army infantry with several deployments to iraq during the war interestingly enough i dealt with a lot less gunshot wounds than i thought i would all things considered i guess the body armor the issue really works there was a lot of trauma from explosives though anyway i was fairly immune to most injuries i encountered including a pretty bad head injury with exposed brain matter he lived by the way but one thing that will always make my skin crawl just to think about it is burns especially full body burns i'm always grateful that i never had to be on scene when treating severe burns but i did work in several aid stations and a hospital stateside that received and treated people with third degree burns covering most of their bodies thank god or whatever whoever that these injuries were far less common than others but if you ever meet someone who said they were a fueler in iraq or afghanistan they had what was potentially one of the most dangerous jobs in the war fuel trucks don't mount armor i probably shouldn't tell you this but well i feel like you should know you have eyeballs i'm so so sorry my wife dislocated her kneecap several years ago the nurse told us that she can handle cuts blood all manner of bodily fluids but things out of place still make her queasy oh geez i did that at work a few years ago the sight of that made my stomach drop i still cringe thinking about it i can't even see or hear the phrase fernie's gangrene without cringing don't google image search that at work unless you also work at a hospital also i really don't like going into patients rooms when they have bedbugs even if i gown and glove before heading in and only touch them to do an exam i will have phantom matching four hours and then change clothes in my garage when i get home because nope made a mistake googled it nearly vomited i work at a maxillofacial surgeon's department and i've seen a lot of procedures which don't phase me teeth extractions upper and lower jaw realignment traumas of all types broken jaws broken orbital sockets oncological procedures explorations and a lot but there's one procedure that makes my gut wrench rhinoplasties there's something about that open nose and people cutting and prodding around that makes me so uncomfortable i don't know why the knowledge of how often filing is used in plastic surgery is what does it for me jaw filing etc doctor nothing visual physical really gets to me these days smells can be absolutely ghastly but people's suffering can be profoundly affecting both patients and families upvote for doctor any injuries to nails just make me go weak fine with eyes and all the other crap that usually freaks people up with nails work when i was a student i was watching something have finger surgery under local anesthetic finger was numb surgeon was prepping it to cut and had this little tool in his hand suddenly rams it under the fingernail and hooks it off wretch anesthesiologist here blood gore and people trying to die on me don't really faze me much but when i'm in the eye room and the surgeon sticks a needle into someone's eyeball i have to suppress a shudder i work with vulnerable adults and people with dementia in old age psychiatry the number of people financially exploited by their family is very disheartening people need to learn some humanity my wife has been a family practitioner for 10 years she says the only thing that really still grosses her out is nasty unclean nose issues i'm nurse i can handle pretty much anything like mangled arm in half head blown off by a shotgun you name it but if someone has a runny nose green boogers hanging out of their nose it takes an act of god for me not to gag vomit answering for my wife since she's on a dock she's been studying medicine since her teens both her parents were doctors but she still can't bring herself to go into the morgue if there's a child there dead children are very very difficult for her to deal with it prediction not a doctor but also not a doctor but my brother is and he always says the way a lot of elderly people are treated really gets to him sometimes by their carers sometimes by children and other relatives often he talks about people hanging around like vultures waiting for them to die so they can get their inheritance obviously this isn't the case with all elderly people but it's common enough my mom is a nurse that specializes in palliative care and has often told me the same things fecal vomiting basically vomiting diarrhea from the mouth i guess constipation has to be resolved somehow sometimes just not from where you think i've done that christmas night 2006 i was in surgery a few hours later god bless the nhs it didn't taste very nice but to be honest you're so chucking or you don't care my buddy who isn't a doctor really hates volunteers who come to the hospital to play music like loses his crap insane he moved to a local hospital because it only allowed one instrument to be played by volunteers and he thought he would really never hear it again they had a harp only policy and now once a week a woman plays the harp and i freaking love it nails when someone's been in some form of minor trauma and their nail has been peeled off worse than any vomit feces or sputum my daughter is a physician assistant she said the morbidly obese patients who come in with maggots crawling out of their vagina or from between the folds of their flesh does it for her nope nope and a double nope student nursino plussy i've seen some crap but generally anything to do with hurt kids i'm far too soft for their tears usually you have to go through your gastro rotation before you've seen some crap not a doctor but a wound ostomy nurse i see all the gnarly diabetic feet mummified limbs trauma wounds failed surgery incisions colostomys fistulas pressure injuries etc but the idea of starting an iv makes me want to cry i've only ever started one and was lucky to find a passion in nursing that has nothing to do with pokes omg i absolutely cannot do ivs or blood draws somehow i made it through school and through various clinic and research jobs without having to do it i eventually became a psych np so there was absolutely no chance that i'd ever have to do anything with veins and i bow down to you wound us to me nurse you truly are an angel that walks among us prion diseases i don't love blood veins arteries but i can deal with them poop pus gore i can handle it all for the most part but i thought about prion diseases and what they do to you too much the other day and almost passed out at my desk i don't know why but they thought of them just makes me queasy and lightheaded just typing this is starting to have that effect i'm not a doctor but seeing those videos of a knee replacement where they are removing the anchor from the tibia and they have the literally whack it out with a hammer i work at a children's hospital and snat or suspected non-accidental trauma aka child abuse still really gets to me especially when the suspected abuser is the one bringing the child in also scabies bedbugs lice and neonatal newborn herpes not a doctor but i've worked in medical education and policy for 12 years so there's very little that grosses me out anymore but a while back i sat in on a wound care educational activity that was case study based the second case study was a post-surgical patient where a combination of refusing follow-up care and super morbid obesity had caused wound separation underneath a fold of fat on the abdomen this person was like two years post-surgery and had an open wound festering in a massive wet bacteria-ridden crevice of their body just typing that out almost as me dry heaving it was the most disgusting thing i have ever seen the doctor teaching the course waited until everyone had made uncomfortable noises and then said now imagine the smell no thank you the photos are enough to haunt my nightmares until the day i die hopefully not from a festering wound not a doctor but i had an emergency room doctor look in my throat after an allergic reaction and say oh my god needless to say it didn't help me calm down at all i'm there thinking this is an emergency room these people see some crazy crap this is probably kinda bad emt i can handle blood gore vomit fesses urine and all the emotions that come with it but for some reason i can't do boogers or mucus it makes me gag to no end facial fractures that involve teeth i can clean up open fractures close up gashes and lacerations assist during amputations or even examine festering sores without batting an eyelash but there's something about traumatic loss of teeth that really unnerves me loose teeth broken teeth open jaw fractures basically anything that might need a maxillar facial surgeon makes me gag a little bit med school teaches you one heck of a poker face though i'd like to be a doctor and this thread is making me reconsider maybe i'll just be a vet instead oh maggot kittens my weakness isn't one specific injury but the kind of panic that comes with an obviously deadly injury like someone that has their throat cut in the look in their eyes that says i know i'm going to die please help me that crap makes me freak out i have pretty damn good crisis handling skills and i can do cpr like a champ but if the person that was injured starts begging to save them or something i will panic like a frightened child not a doctor but i work in pharmacy we won't judge you on nearly anything but i admit i get the heebie-jeebies when people have rxs for scabies something about whole body parasites is just so unsettling dentures especially gunked up dentures that aunt in the mouth the other day i was talking to an elderly lady on ward round i was holding her hand as i am one to do with my frail elderly patients especially those with dementia or delirium for some reason she suddenly decided to remove her top dentures with her other hand and plonked them on the table in front of her i spent the rest of that discussion with my hand in some kind of vice like grip being slowly but surely inched towards the dentures while i tried desperately to resist every now and then she would stroke my arm with her still damp right hand anyone working in geriatrics knows the horror of the unexpectedly moist examination bit urine feces vomit blood snot sputum saliva etc i can easily take in my stride however dentures definitely turn my stomach i think we all want to run away screaming when someone is infested with lice or bedbugs you just feel like things are crawling on you for days i worked in the ed for a bit and one time we had an entire family come in with scabies going into their exam room was unnerving patients with serious infections i've dealt with only a few in my practice but god dang during medical school i saw some of the grossest infections ever also diseases of the skin i would have went into dermatology if i could handle them not a human doctor but a vet tech i can't take anything but parasites and eye injuries my surgeon wound care friend claims phlegm she says you have no idea how crazy it can get i counter that with bloody puff filled swollen body parts that you need to take a huge needle to a suck out one of the worst smells ever but the prize goes to cancer tears in my eyes the worst part of someone you love dying the saddest and worst was a 10 hour greyhound ride with a woman on board i'm sure was dying of cancer skin fatty esp the kind off of old people's feet you just peel off a sock and that crap gets airborne makes me wanna exhale till i pass out doctors over at it what's the most outrageous self-diagnosis that you've heard from a patient not a doctor but a lady i nursed had an acidities accumulation of fluid on the abdomen that gives it a hard swollen look and she convinced all the ladies in her ward bay that she was pregnant she would walk around rubbing her bump not a doctor but a midwife colleague of mine was talking to a newly pregnant client second baby about her first pregnancy she said she'd had a caesarean birth with her first baby because her midwife got her fingers stuck in my fanny turns out she'd had an umbilical cord prolapse and her midwife was preventing cord compression while they rushed her to theater taught me the importance of a really thorough debrief after an unexpected outcome not a doc but pediatric therapist it's astounding the number of families i've worked with that believe their autistic child has been diagnosed artistic probably had a neurologist from boston self-diagnosis maybe not but a woman once asked me if i could find the rock of crack that she shoved in her fanny the day before when she was pulled over by the police she wanted it back if possible my dad is a physician and he's got a lot of great stories this is from memory if anyone is interested i can ask my dad about a few more stories but my favorite is when a little old lady who didn't speak english came into the clinic with a live chicken she claimed the chicken had the spirit of her dead husband in it and it was giving her nightmares she told the check-in desk she wanted to talk to the doctor about what to do so my dad the only guy who spoke spanish at the moment in the clinic listens to her and doesn't quite know what to do he asks the lady if she has tried getting rid of the chicken the lady says no she doesn't want to get rid of the chicken she wants to keep it alive it's a pet she tells my dad she wants the doctor to cleanse the chicken of her husband's spirit so he can rest in peace and so she can stop having nightmares my dad tells her he doesn't think he has anything to fix that particular problem and asked if she'd tried anything already at the time he is working on a reservation in the south west and traditional healing practices tend to take place alongside modern medicine she says yes but it didn't work that's why she went to the clinic she said thank you and left with her chicken tldr women comes into clinic with a chicken my dad's got a bunch more stories from his 40-odd years on medicine if anyone interested he did his residency in compton ca exciting place for a doc my mom before she died her desert to death was a quick one 15 months march 2012 she says she's getting difficulty moving joints on her right hand and elbow the goes to doctor says it's fatty tumor sends her home she starts tripping on the floor always to her right to start she is saying she's getting weaker doctors do tests mris blood work for endocrine disorders neuro diseases everything coming up clear i look at all the data i scur the internet she has no history als i tell her neurologist he says i am wrong it can't be als why not no good answer time goes on four months now she's having trouble talking starts writing everything nine months i buy her an ipad because she can't write clearly eight months she can't stop drooling on herself eating becomes difficult 10 months wheelchair bound neurologist accuses her of faking it 14 months she can't swallow 15 months dead diaz at the aiku asked me when she was dying from pneumonia how long has she had als her neurologist said it wasn't als accused her of faking it scoffed when i suggested it to him i admit als is an outrageous diagnosis but it was the only thing that fit but if a patient or family says what about x thing don't scoff at them when they ask why not i'm so sorry to hear about your ma my condolences even if you don't want to sue please complain to his licensing board he should have had a reason to back up his exclusion a previously healthy young working professional woman in her early thirties came to the air saying she had a cold that's just been lingering and she couldn't get over said she needed some antibiotics she was actually admitted to the hospital and just kept getting worse and worse pneumonia to respiratory failure needing intubation ventilator towards to septic shock and multi-organ failure every possible test and study done running out of answers someone decided to order an hiv test turns out she had full blown aids and a cd4 count that was practically zero unfortunately did not survive i popped a pimple on his side and chicken bones fell out obese uneducated lady with her small dog featuring a nully granulated abscess on the side of his lower abdomen the kicker she wasn't lying hernia present that allowed chicken bones to perforate through small intestine directly into subcutaneous space i mean isn't that like rule one of owning a dog one no chicken bones or chocolate two make sure to feed them and give them water doctor here one story that sticks out is a woman who was convinced that she had helicobacter pylori bacteria that causes stomach ulcers and some and had to be tested i reviewed her chart and it showed multiple negative tests over the years and even a biasy sample from an upper gi scope that was negative her treatment for this infection was to eat dirt literally dirt from the internet advertised to cure stomach issues there was no convincing her that this wasn't a thing this is a tame one but the others are too specific to tell without the possibility of revealing the patient's identity slightly different in my teens me and some mates are walking along totally stoned this old lady in front of us trips up and smashes her face on the ground blood is pouring everywhere being the lovely boys we are we lift her up and thankfully we are informed that there is a gp practice only 100 meters away after the incredibly slow walk arm in arm to this place we walk in and just as i am about to shout we have an emergency the little old lady whose clothes are now covered in blood politically requests i've come to collect my prescription not a doctor was the patient a few years ago during the summer i started to get really sick fever itchy sore throat cough with mucus went to urgent care after my throat began to swell the doctors tested for strep tests was negative they insisted it was mono tested for mono test was negative yet they kept insisting it was mono doctors gave me steroids and sent me home over the next two weeks the symptoms became worse at this point the pain of swelling was so bad all i did was sleep and drink water chicken broth barely my throat was so swollen i couldn't swallow anything solid one morning i get up and my throat is completely swollen to the point i can't even swallow my own saliva i have a panic attack and call urgent care they tell me time coming right away i go back and the doctor doesn't even look at my throat insists it's mono so my bf x freaks out and demands she look she does finally and gets really nervous tells me to go to the air immediately and they would be waiting for my arrival turns out i my tonsils are abscess about to burst and i have tonsillitis the worst crap ever not a doctor but i went to the air post dvt with symptoms of a pulmonary embolism i had chest pains could not catch my breath and i passed out in the waiting room even though i had oxygen sats below 80 percent and was clearly struggling for air the adopter actually patted my hand and told me i must be stressed and tried to discharge me i told him i refused to leave and he needed to check with my pcp before he did anything else i ended up staying in the hospital for four days and eventually they found a small clot in my lungs i still couldn't walk very far without stopping by the time they discharged me i'm trying to see if my doctor is in here last week i was thoroughly convinced i had cancer in my neck and shoulder because i felt two heart masses i just knew it had to be cancer doc looks at it and then slings me up and said the damage has been done you just need to let it heal and i was of course confused i had apparently damaged my muscle and it had formed two pinto bean sized knots he was right though knots are starting to go away doctor rob of you're in here i admit it you were right and i was wrong for a second i thought that you were convinced your shoulder blades were cancer people blaming vaccines for all sorts of illnesses ranging from congenital mental handicaps children's behavioral problems to cancer autoimmune diseases senile dementia and so on most of the comments here are funny or eccentric anecdotes that happen once in a while but there are shitloads of patients that every day claim that their grandpa died of heart attack at the calo age of 96 because of the effin flu shot that the family doctor prescribed he was fine before getting it getting it getting it getting it getting it getting it getting it getting it getting it getting it getting it getting it getting it getting it getting it i love how there are no comments on this response because no one wants to touch the vaccine conversation for fear of opening a hole in the space-time continuum well i'm not a doctor but i am an emt i stepped into a house in the projects to hear giant dammit i am having a heart attack i know what a heart attack feels like lorraine there was a lot of fesses and urine involved but no cardiac issues if this was actually a dialogue between two obese black women in nj the one screaming was calling the other one baby from time to time so lesbians i don't know she demanded that the paramedics come so i kind of just waited in that cesspool of a bedroom discreetly watching the nat geo special on water bison that was playing on her giant tv my sister keeps diagnosing me with endometriosis and polycystic ovaries and another one i can't remember but she gets furious with me for not going to the doctor because i don't care about my health and i am sticking my head in the sandy tc etc my only symptom is irregular periods and normal cramps fatigue while on my period but apparently cramps aren't normal and neither is wanting to eat chocolate and take a nap it's gotten to the point where i literally cannot say a single word about my health in any way shape or form without her jumping on my butt and no she's not a doctor she does have endo and cos which apparently qualifies her to diagnose me not my patient but my dads in the early 70s a guy walks in claiming that he has colon cancer and is really worried he had a history of coming in repeatedly to the clinic for various ailments dad checked him out and saw no problems sent him back with a scheduled review the patient still had the same worries and stuck with his claim that he had colon cancer dad told hi if you want i'll give you in writing that you don't have this can you imagine that today p and if you do i'll take care of you the patient stopped coming to the clinic with the complaint but he and dad became really good friends 40 years later he is still a hypochondriac and dad still reassures him my best friend had weird symptoms for a while and became obsessed with googling and researching the possible causes she was convinced that she had multiple sclerosis she woke up one morning and the lower half of her right side was numb she went to an emergency care and asked for an mri the doctor there believed she had sciatica pain and refused weeks went by and she went to another urgent care and was final referred for an mri turns out she had very advanced knees now is partially paralyzed nobody really wants to be responsible for their obesity so people google diseases that could be causing them to gain weight my favorite was a lady who insisted that she had cushing's disease what people mean when they say have a glandular issue it's obvious that she wasn't it's rare and there are some classic signs that normal obese people don't have so i went through an exercise where we discuss all the food that she ate during a typical day we hit roughly 3000 calories before finishing what she typically eats for lunch the conversation never goes well from there there is nothing that i can prescribe for denial fourth year med student here so i don't have the md title yet but during my pain management rotation i had a patient tell me that he had hep c and when i asked how he got it and when he was dx he told me a doctor on 4chan diagnosed him a few months back after his friend told him he got cancer from too much internet usage i crap you not it took me all the power of god not to bust out laughing but then he continued to go on how he's helped his friends out with medical advice so 4chan and how he doesn't trust webmd or google for medical advice because they are owned by the man and only good at making people believe they have hypochondriasis so long story short he didn't get the oxycodone he was hoping to get from this consultation and made a giant fuss how we're only making his hep c worse by not giving him meds for those asking dx equals diagnosis diagnosed oh man i feel sorry for you i had to spend an unfortunate amount of time in the air and at my gp's office for a problem that presents mostly as pain i never truly appreciated just how big a problem drug seekers are until dealing with pain management people that entire specialty from the outside seems to have the patience of saints vet tech assistant i work overnights and usually i clean just check vitals on patients and answer phones i pick up a call at about 2 30 in the morning this woman is convinced her dog has bloat while that sounds benign there's one kind of bloat where the stomach twists and cuts off circulation of blood from the stomach it is deadly if not caught quickly there's other kinds that are treatable but when you look up dog bloat you're going to find the killer one first i ask her what makes her think her dog has bloat she tells me her dog ate a piece of steak and started acting more sleepy and his stomach was a little bloated she looked that up on pet webmd and it told her that her dog had a bloat i go through the symptoms of gdv the killer bloat and she says no to all of them except the bloated stomach i give her the price to get an emergency exam she suddenly stops freaking out thinks it's not a big deal and hangs up she never came in for an exam fourth year medical student here on my psychiatry rotation last year we had a guy with delusional disorder who was completely normal to talk to just a little quiet with the exception that he was certain his sister's kids were his because he ovulated and bore the children himself i once went to the hospital because i thought i had a collapsed lung turns out i was just super hungover and my ribs hurt from throwing up all night very embarrassing and expensive i was the one that self-diagnosed i'd been unwell for years and the gp kept telling me it was ibes i'd be fine well my mum was told to check out celiac disease for her issues and it wasn't but my symptoms fit so off to the gp i go i have these symptoms they fit and i'd like to have the blood test they refused said i was too fat for celiac and it just stipes i cried from frustration and apparently that guilted them into saying okay have the test i did and yes i have celiac disease and yes you can be fat and have it spend five minutes on webmd searching your symptom and conclude you have cancer with three weeks to live hypochondriacs everywhere physiotherapist here i had someone come into the clinic and ask to buy exercise bands to do rehab for his shoulder but didn't want to come in for an assessment first because he already knew what was wrong when i asked him he told me that he tore his labia i didn't correct him he meant labrum one time i had this bad rash that wouldn't go away i went to the dermatologist and he told me it was contact dermatitis and i needed to switch out my laundry detergent and toothpaste and stuff i did that and it got worse so they did this whole allergy panel on me nothing they told me it must just be a reaction to something so they gave me a prescription steroid crime to relieve it well then it got way freaking worse it became dark red and itched like a mother i started to notice a dark ring shape to it i went to a different dermatologist and she cut out a piece of it and sent it to the lab turns out it was some unknown fungus i picked up in the jungle in costa rica i had to go through some hardcore anti-fungal regimen but that eventually fixed it i was suffering for probably two months contact dermatitis my butt i like to think though that i had a little fairy ring growing on my arm that student here we once had a couple who waited about 12 hours after their four weeks old kitten fell off the balcony because the kitten was tired and needed rest it sadly took them too long and we couldn't help the poor cat anymore i am a nurse in the aiku at a major teaching center and i had a patient's dog to tell me her dad is allergic to potassium because she was at this point i am trying to keep a straight face and not laugh i asked her why she thought she was allergic to potassium and she explained she had a bad reaction last time she was in the hospital i asked if the reaction was pain at the iv site and she said yes i tried to explain that everyone has this reaction and it is not an allergy i then told her her dad was not allergic and that it is not possible to be allergic to potassium since we require it to live she then keeps going on and says she doesn't want her dad to get any because of her reaction at this point i am losing patience with her and tell her that her dad is fine as has been receiving potassium with no reaction she starts yelling and demanding to speak to the intensivist only no residents so i go get the intensivist just to try to calm her down he comes and tells her everything i said is true and he doesn't have time for her voodoo crap so she needs to calm down in latest care for her dad who is on life support not a doctor here but a patient who feels some sort of self-diagnosis is helpful especially if for the young age i was constantly at the doctor's over a period of two years with bleeding from the rectum and constant abdominal cramps because i was only 18 i was told it was women's troubles they refused to look at my bowels because of this and i even had a doctor roll their eyes at me for questioning otherwise fast forward a year and i feel really ill with bad diarrhea and the cramps and bleeding still three and e trips and i was told it was just gastroenteritis finally when it didn't stop they did keyhole surgery to remove my appendix thinking it was appendicitis it wasn't two weeks in hospital and finally i got a last minute scan which told them my colon was deteriorating they removed my large intestine and gave me a stoma where your small intestine is pulled to the outside of your abdomen and waste is collected in an ostomy bag i was also told my colon was just half an hour from perforating and i would have died without the emergency surgery finally i was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis a form of inflammatory bowel disease since the operation i have had a reversal where the small intestine is stretched to the rectum to allow me to go to the toilet normally but i now live on a lot of medication i'm often having to take time off work due to only having diarrhoea and having it around six eight times a day despite all the pills i have to take to manage it also get a lot of bleeding cramps and still can get you see in the rectum which may lead to more major surgery had to have botox in the rectum to make going to the toilet less painful and just last week was in hospital with a suspected intestinal blockage i'm only 21 this could have been prevented if my agent complains had been taken seriously as if my colon hadn't been as bad as it was which had happened over time it would have been medicated not a doctor but a woman came in claiming her foul odour was from a leftover condom in her never regions from two weeks prior needless to say there was no condom down there just some fungi even more unusual she must have been with a pretty fun guy i'm a medical student and this is from when i worked in a nur it's not really a ridiculous self-diagnosis but it was pretty funny the doctor i worked with walked into the room after the nurse was finished and this lady immediately told him she had a problem with her gallbladder she started listing off all the symptoms she had which read like a textbook's description of gallbladder pain finally he asked her to point to where she felt the pain and she confidently pointed to her left upper abdomen and said right here the gallbladder is on the right side her husband thought it was hilarious to be fair i had gall stones verified via ultrasound and a chronically inflamed gallbladder as per my surgeon and all my pain was in the center just below my ribs five doctors missed it due to where my pain was my gp only ordered the ultrasound after my milhon was a nurse suggested it upper right side was sore after they took my gallbladder out it put up a fight apparently what was your most embarrassing moment in front of a doctor i was embarrassed for the doctor many years ago i had a suction lipectomy done on my neck to remove excess fat when i went back for a post-surgical follow-up the doctor asked me to remove my blouse and bra never having been shy or modest around medical professionals i figured he must have needed to see my neck in relation to the rest of my chest so i happily disrobed and was standing there with my stuff hanging out when he realized i was not another patient who had had a booby job he calmly asked me to put my clothes back on and apologized for mistaking me for the other patient but he was blushing like crazy i just got to chuckle out of it having a cut on my bollocks after deciding to make them a bit fancy for a checkup didn't want to go out but took off a few of the crazy long ones with a razor accidental nick bled like a mofo but forgot all about it by time the appointment came around then she asked me about the scab on my sack i suddenly flushed and found myself looking down at this unfathomably hot doctor holding my plums in her gloved hand before i knew what was happening i was reeling off a story about catching it on a fishhook whilst organizing my tackle in the nude it sounded ridiculous she knew it i knew it i cringe every time i think of it first time having a whole body scan the nurse told me to go to a small room and undress i did and as soon as she looks at me she's all like what the heck apparently you are not meant to take all your clothes off sounds like her mistake i was just getting my flu shot and the nurse asked which arm i wanted it in i was wearing a sweater and i wasn't going to be able to roll it up to my shoulder so i started taking it off to give the nurse access to my arm she looked surprised and rushed to close the door i had a shirt on underneath but apparently she thought i was just stripping my clothes off so i felt really awkward the rest of the visit when i was 13 the doctor saw that i had strep throat you know that little stick they basically shove down your throat to swab it i hated that test when she put the stick in my throat i had a bad reflex and kicked my doctor in the shin the hard most embarrassing thing to ever happen to me in front of her i had an embarrassing thing happen with the strep test too at age 11 i found out that i had no gag reflex and my mom joked my future boyfriend would be happy i didn't understand why for a few years though or why my doctor laughed kind of a different situation because i wasn't a patient but i was finishing charting stood up and then tried to sit on the rolling chair i must have slightly pushed it backward because i could only catch the slightest edge of the chair tried to catch my balance and sit farther back in the chair slid back farther this went on for about 15 seconds until i fell on the ground it was so prolonged and awkward and of course in front of a group of physicians about to start rounds it reminds me of that guy who fell for 15 seconds straight and i love that gif so thanks for reminding me not sure if embarrassing is the right word but i was definitely ashamed when i was 14 i confessed to my mum that i thought i had depression she immediately booked me to go to the doctor later that day then my cat came in with a wheat seed in her eye which was fully hooked around her eyeball we couldn't get it out so we had to go to the vet which meant a 30-minute car trip with me holding a cat in agony i got out of the car with cuts all over my arms rib kids insides that mercifully gave us a cage for free on the way back help that i literally bled on his bench went to the doctor a few hours later mum explained how i'd seemed distant and my grades had tanked that year to the dock who said yes and i can see the self-harming mum said no no the cat did that today we had to have her in the car and i burst into tears because i had been hiding wrist scars from her when i held out my arm to let the doctor look i felt so ashamed mum's a friggin angel i didn't want her to think she'd failed as a mum i hope you are doing better now it hurts to know that you were in this situation went to the family doctor to get a lump in my armpit checked out the nurse told me to put on a gown so i mindlessly stripped down naked and put on a gown when the doctor came in he had a weird look on his face and said you really didn't need to take your pants off awkward why do they need to embarrass people geez so i had my son two years ago ended up with really low blood pressure and they gave me a lot of fluid like a ton in the excitement after he was born and without having slept in 24 hours i forgot what the nice nurse told me when i was transferred to my recovery room that i should get up and pee frequently one of the midwives came to visit me to see how i was doing she was my least favorite one i needed to pee i got up and sat down very quickly because i started peeing the second i stood up she thought i almost fainted and came over telling me that i needed to be more careful as i blushed and said i was peeing stood back up got it all over her shoes even though i was trying to hold it in hobbled to the bathroom leaving the largest puddle of urine i've ever seen and still managed to pee in the toilet and again while another nurse came in to help me back to the bed good thing my kid is cute my epidural worked so well two nurses had to help me to the bathroom well after birth then call someone in to clean up the little trail of blood from the bed to the bathroom they missed a spot and i can see it in the pictures of my daughter meeting my son the next day during a physical i casually asked my regular doctor what a red mark was by my mouth he was writing something down and without even looking up he said you drool in your sleep i've always wondered how long he knew that information since he didn't even need to look at me to answer he was right too my husband just never wanted to mention it lol when i was 19 also a virgin at that time i had a pulled muscle in my groin from work went to the doctor and his first assumption after confirming it wasn't testicular torsion was a ut how often do you freak i don't come really like none i'm a virgin at your age i was freaking 19 in a town full of people i hate i'm not here to be judged by you just fix my pulled muscle i pooped on a doctor while giving birth i'd been eating a really seedy bread loaf leading up to labor so it was really lumpy they pretended like it didn't happen but i knew i've heard from an ob nurse friend that it happens a lot like more than 25 percent of the time it was valentine's day at school i was in third grade and you could pay a dollar to send someone a rose every kid got at least one rose you know so at the end of the day there are roses everywhere when i think about it they might have been different flowers our rose is expensive and we started putting the petals down the backs of people's shirts well later that day i had an appointment with a pediatrician and when she asked me to pull my pants down for the hernia check a bunch of rose petals fell out of my underoos i must have fainted because the next thing i remember is my mom and the doctor laughing hysterically and i was laying on the floor probably carnations they're cheap as frick especially in bulk and they're hardy enough to last the school day be abused by kids until you get home and your mum puts them in water without wilting so last year i had my annual pap smear and i go to a little family clinic they're all very sweet doctors and they all talk to each other about their patients well i used to have an iud i say used to because i had a rare complication from it and after a few months it went through my uterus and took a little off-road trip in my body now that was the first time this clinic had seen this complication so all of the doctors i saw wanted to ask about it and i didn't mind but back to the pap smear we were discussing the iud and my surgery from that situation while i was undressing and she performed the scraping of my insides and while my legs are wide freaking open in the stirrup she goes wow i've never seen that before it's really interesting and scary i know she was talking about the bc but i still told her while i was laughing not to say that as she is in my fanny when i was 18 i had to get an external ultrasound to see if i had polycystic ovaries the doctor who did the scan was in his 60s a very abrupt and to the point doctor he asked me questions though never once asked if i had an active private life maybe because mum was with me then said that i would need an internal ultrasound because he couldn't find my left ovary the doctor that did my internal ultrasound was a bit younger than the first one and a woman i remember being shocked at how big the probe thing was it also wouldn't fit inside and it was painful i told her that it hurt a lot and she asked me if i had ever been active in my private life i said no her demeanor changed immediately she backed off quickly checked her paperwork and said that the other doctor had put down that i was active in my private life he'd never even asked i don't know if she was embarrassed i definitely was underneath the gown i was exposed and had my legs up in stirrups but i think she was shocked that the other doctor would have made that assumption without checking i suggested that it could have been because mum had been in the room with me at the time the doctor made an angry noise then kindly asked why i had been sent for an internal ultrasound i said the doctor hadn't been able to find my left ovary she did an external ultrasound and found my left ovary straight away when i left extremely sore i saw her heading purposefully to the other doctor's office oh god when i moved states to live with now husband i was just starting a new job he was out of town a lot for work not too many friends tons of stress one night i was home alone and realized i started bleeding from my backside called my now in-laws who live about a mile away and asked them to take me to the i had no clue where the closest one even was it got there was admitted waiting to see the dock and realized it wasn't blood from back there i was having my period i have no clue why i thought the first scenario but when the doc came in i had to explain my misunderstanding situation after oh 25 years of menstruation at that point complete humiliation i got to live through again and again as the hospital bills came in hope for you i can totally see myself doing something similar under stress every year the doctor tells me i need to try to put on some weight during this year's checkup i broke out a yoda do or do not there is no try i totally bombed and doc didn't even crack a smile before breaking into his usual spiel about mega mass 4000. i panicked when a doctor asked why our lung specimen has an incision on the third lobe accidentally stabbed during dissection spur of the moment lied about maybe arkadava died from stab wound in the lung i said he replied as an aspiring doctor next time own up to your mistake instead of making up stories to cover it up i'm so embarrassed by my action then i still cringe when i remember i hate anatomy class i have nothing but respect for this doctor although yes i would have appreciated if he didn't do it in front of our group but i know i'm wrong about lying and it's fair to get called out for that the value of credibility transcends all profession and it was reinforced to me that day had cyst on my tailbone that needed to be lanced and gauzed already an embarrassing situation for a young woman came in a couple days later for follow-up exam and the very attractive young doctor said nice to see you face to face this time i think he knew he was being cheeky pun intended but i was mortified pap smears are always the worst the absolute worst one was when i was too shy to tell my doctor that no your student cannot shadow you when i'm spread eagle he was explaining my fanny to the student for a good five minutes as though it were a diagram it's even more special when the student asked what's that thing there by the cervix mucus is normal christopher shut up i had this happen recently i didn't really mind because i've had two kids and tons of people have seen my goods as a result of it including my poor father who thought i had already given birth and burst into the room as my son was crowning it was funny though listening to the doctor use my fanny as a teaching instrument when i was a teenager i jerked off a lot i can't remember exactly the problem but at some point i worried i had damaged something i think i started getting painful urination and this weird discharge once in a while and i didn't seem as hard i ended up worrying about it enough to tell my mom who took me to the doctor primary care guy questioned me then took my dong and brutally squeezed it i'm guessing to check for discharge i then got referred to a urologist who had first harshly questioned me if i was active in my private and not to lie i was like 14 and a super awkward zit covered nerd anyway no one found anything wrong i had bad ocd as a child and used to beat off too much to get the right number of wanks in we're talking 20 plus a day here eventually my dong swelled up to the size of a large sausage and i told my mother she took me to a psychiatrist and he made me a chart we kept in the kitchen to count each time i jerked off i had to go and fill it in every time i went for a wank i was having horrible unexplained stomach pains on the cold metal table on my hands and knees somehow i didn't expect him to very forcefully jam a slippery lubed finger knuckle deep up my previously unexplored but without even a warning i instinctively kicked him hard in the chest while emanating a bizarre gutter or growl scream mother in front of two female nurses and my overly christian mother one nurse burst out laughing and left the room being face down i can only cringe and imagine the other responses tl dr doc fingered my butt in front of my mom i have just died laughing i'm so sorry for you but heck that's the most natural response ever i was around 12 13 this elder man around 50 was checking my balls doing the whole turn and cough thing anyway in an attempt to make the situation less awkward i said this must be your favorite part of your job he then told me just wait till you are 40 and i have to check your prostate i started laughing then i realized i was laughing while this old guy was cupping my balls it got kinda weird when i was 18 i went to the doctor because i was having testicular pain and was concerned my regular doctor was out on vacation at the time so they scheduled me with a different doctor the day of the appointment i found out it was a girl she was a very attractive probably almost 30 she asked me to pull down my pants and i hesitated because i felt awkward she told me if i didn't feel comfortable she could get a male doctor i said it was okay so i proceed and while she feels to see if i have any lumps or anything on my balls i get the biggest boner of all time i was embarrassed and she said it was okay it happened i also noticed her wedding ring and couldn't help but wonder how she would tell her husband when getting home from work had to give a p test for a new job i was nervous not because i was on drugs or anything but because i never had to before so i show up and fill out forms and then the nurse tells me to pee in the cup and not to flush or wash my hands in the tiny bathroom i got nervous once inside and i had to poop and couldn't just pee and not poop you know so after like five minutes i opened the door and tell her what my issue was she was taken aback and was like that's fine just do your thing so i went and then peed in the cup i came out and handed it to her and i was like do you want me to flush she was just like um yes please freaking awkward zero stroke 10 wouldn't do it again this happened when i was around nine years old i had hurt my neck had a big bump on the side and couldn't hold my head up straight i was in a lot of pain so i go see the doctor and he asks me how i hurt my neck so i explained that in gym class we were doing headstands and i was practicing on my bed at home i fell over sideways and hence the neck injury well the doctor started laughing then he left the room gathered up the other doctors in the practice and made me tell them how i hurt my neck then they all started laughing this was pretty traumatic for me as a small child to this day i have no clue what is funny about a child falling over and hurting his neck maybe i could see why it might be funny to other children but to doctors i don't get it that's cruel congrats doc you gave a little kid shame i went to the air for constant vomiting and stomach aches the doctor asked me when was my last period i told her that i was born with male genitals she was embarrassed i'm also there was a lump near my genitals 15 year old me was very concerned and had to go through the awkwardness of telling my mother i had a lump near my genitals and needed to see my pediatrician immediately pull down pants for doctor who sees my impeccably fresh shaven genitalia sees a lump and immediately starts to laugh i have used a cheap razor to get my nads to shimmer and glisten so spectacularly which had caused an ingrown hair and cyst to form he took a pen and drew the whole thing out for me on the paper atop the table wet warm cloth for a few days to bring it to a head and monster of my mother awkwardly asking if i was sure everything was still okay down there wobbly wobbly testicly westickley when the young female doctor wanted to check my cervix and blushed when she said she needed to look down there i was so embarrassed for her don't they learn the proper names for it in medical school my then boyfriend has a giant dong and he tore my fanny i went to the hospital and they asked me if we were using any toys or scissors hahaha it was incredibly embarrassing but luckily i didn't need stitches the elderly nurse recommended a ton of different lubes to me which was pretty funny i ended up in the air for a severe stomach flu came down with it in full swing at my pain management doctor couldn't leave the bathroom bc i was throwing up so hard i couldn't stop pee let alone get the 50 featuring to my car after the emps brought the stretcher to the bathroom door and took me the three miles to the hospital before i could get the ive zofran for my nausea i kept throwing up violently and simultaneously pee myself they had to change my sheets twice it was so embarrassing to a nurse not a doctor that moment when i had to explain exactly how i knew there was a cyst on my cervix i used euphemisms for a while and she kept getting more and more confused until i finally said i was masturbating and stuck my fingers up there okay she seemed shocked at the concept went to the air to have surgery on my leg prep nurse told me she was gonna have to insert a catheter so i could pee during surgery i had to ask my mom to leave the room so this other woman could shove a tube down my pee hole freaking awful went in for a regular checkup i have anxiety so i was getting really nervous just waiting around for the doctor come in the room everything goes smoothly and she asks to take my blood pressure so i remove my coat and cardigan at that moment i see that my blouse had massive under blood sweat marks that went down to the waistband of my beans another win for the under blood sweat i once thought i snapped my banjo string and i ended up having this strange foreign doctor touching my dong while he made small talk the time i asked dre for an autograph after a concert and he turned out to be exhibit i didn't feel like a xenophobic butthole at all i had just come back from camp and was brushing my hair and i felt this weird little lump on the top of my head so i showed my mom and we had no clue what it was her thought was maybe it was a tick she kept off trying to squeeze it and it hurt really bad off to the doctor we go me slightly freaking out about lyme disease nurse comes in looks at watery eyed cnk 93 takes one look at lump prods it with a finger and states that's a birthmark gynecologist every time i have the word respect to two down there right above a tiny crab tattoo c is a helluva drug doctors over at it do you ever find yourselves googling symptoms like the rest of us how accurate are most sites diagnoses i've worked into emergency departments and doctors have no shame in googling something they don't know it really saves them from making an error and allows them to continuously learn different things in the year you see so many different things and are bound to come across cases so unique that you hardly have any background knowledge anything google usually comes from a reliable medical journal and docs generally cross-reference to verify information we definitely do we use google wikipedia and lots of free and subscription apps to find what we're looking for the difference is that we know how to word our search to find what we need and be how to filter the crap and pseudoscientific results out it makes a big difference when you search for say allodynia and edema and blanching erythema rather than painful swollen and red or can interpret articles and studies with a critical eye for their use of statistics that is looking for absolute rather than relative risk reduction power of the study inclusion exclusion criteria number needed to treat efficacy versus effectiveness etc that's all stuff you learn in medical school then as you progress through practice you get better at pattern recognition medical education is as much about learning how to learn as it is about what you learn in school tldr yes i think a lot of college education is learning how to learn i think it's important to note that when a doctor googles your symptoms there use their education to filter out false positives that a lay person might not and b don't have an agenda meaning they're looking at the results objectively whereas i might downplay or over emphasize certain symptoms when googling my own condition because i have a deeper emotional stake in the outcome in other words please don't think that because medical professionals use the internet to research your conditions you can justify cutting out them out of the equation also it's lupus i went to the doctor last month and she was like i'm going to be honest i'm not totally sure but what i can say is it's not life-threatening or serious at all i'm going to ask my colleague quickly for her advice and then after you leave today i'm going to google it look around and call you next week to tell you what i found to tell you the truth these are the signs of a good doctor they definitely do and very often usually they know which things are reliable and how to search based on their medical knowledge if you go to the right sites journals and you know which symptoms to type in and how to accurately determine if you really have those symptoms then it can be very accurate you also have to know how to discard inaccurate results if it gives you a rare blood disease only found in africa and you have never left kentucky you probably don't have it source wife is a doctor yep i've had a surgeon google something before while i was sitting in the office with him he just wanted to make sure the weird symptom i had was in line with what he thought it was sometimes the websites list really rare things that doctors forget can happen i'm a doctor and i have no problem checking my computer to look something up usually it is a website you pay hospital pays for called up to date which also has a medication interaction program you can plug meds into to make sure they don't kill the patient wheelis orthopedics is pretty legit for musculoskeletal stuff when patients bring in stuff from there it's pretty accurate side note when i'm in a room with a patient and i tell them i'm going to look at fire mri or x-ray on my computer in my office because i have a better monitor it's because i have to take a pee i've always wondered if when they say that it's to do something else i always repay the conversation to see if they're stepping out to laugh or something i said doctors especially specialty trainees do a lot of googling there are so many rare weird and wacky conditions out there that no one can possibly know everything i've spent the past two months on a pediatrics team and at one time we had a kid with an incredibly rare congenital syndrome heart on the wrong side liver in the middle multiple non-functioning spleens thankfully we didn't actually have to manage his chronic issues because they were being managed by specialists in another city but only one of the senior specialists at our hospital even knew what it was the registrars residents and medical students did a lot of googling because that's how we learn with acute management you will find that guidelines are constantly evolving the algorithm for dealing with a patient with a prolonged fit of epilepsy that you might have memorized a few years has probably changed two or three times since then midaz midas phenytoin btw there's no shame in doing a quick google to find the most recent guidelines it's far better to treat your patients safely and with confidence than to try to do something you're not comfortable with off the top of your head the emergency department is probably the part of the hospital where google and other online resources are most used presentations to ed are extremely diverse with no two shifts seeing the same case mix if a quick google can save a call to the consultant at 3am and still allow you to treat the patient safely and effectively then that's what most doctors are going to do google is an incredibly powerful tool in the right hands but only if you know how to use it in medical school we are taught skills to effectively search the volumes of information online to pick out what is relevant and discard what is not a site like webmd may tell you that you have cancer based on your non-specific fatigue and weight loss and sure there may be a chance a doctor would take into consideration your presenting complaint your medical history and any investigations that might be done to work out a diagnosis aside from google we tend to use clinical practice guidelines local health system etg etc clinical decision support making tools up to date bmj best practice medscape review journal articles and more i do it all the time part of what hasn't been touched on so much is knowing what information is pertinent about the patient's symptoms most people who come in with a problem will have a handful of generalized symptoms that don't tell you a whole lot by themselves but there will often be one particular symptom that is extremely important that helps guide your answer knowing what the important thing to zero in on is where the education and experience comes in my doctor once talked me through what she could find about my symptoms on google it was a little surreal at first but she explained how there are reputable medical journals out there and their search functions are rubbish and going through each one would take a long time so they use google fairly frequently when diagnosing and treating patients i've seen anesthesiologists google things in the or and i've seen surgeons have people google info for them in the middle of cases there is no shame in double checking and getting it right rather than freaking up i usually don't google but i use the internet and medical searches frequently i don't know everything and i don't pretend to know everything there is so much out there and it's always changing it's impossible to stay on top of everything 100 of the time i go to courses and conferences but they still can't cover everything i have no problem saying to a patient listen i haven't heard that before and what you're describing is pretty unusual i don't know what's causing it let me research it a little bit check some tests and see what we can figure out some people are very happy with that some people get very pissy and adopt this attitude like how could you not know why i bleed from my elbow when i fart after eating asparagus on the third wednesday of the month i have always adopted the attitude that being straightforward and honest with your patients is the best way to be you want to find a different doctor because i didn't know some obscure bit of minutiae go for it i'll be busy working hard to help the patients i do have when i first presented with symptoms of ms 12 years ago i went to the ear because i didn't know what the frick was wrong with me the first doctor diagnosed it as a panic attack and i was in a xanax coma for a week before i decided i wanted a second opinion the second doctor asked me what i thought it was and i told him i had been researching my symptoms and miss seemed to fit he excused himself for a minute did some googling and referred me to a neurologist because he agreed that my symptoms were in line with early onset me's i'd say they use any and all available resources if they don't have an answer and internet searches are the fastest way to identify and utilize some of those resources i'm a doctor and i use google saw a good quote the other day from doctor to patient don't confuse my google search with your google search which i think is very true which definitely impacts on accuracy that was the first example i could think of for your information for patients i recommend patient co uk and nhs co uk my doctor googled canker sores right in front of my face and spelled out crncer on google as i watched sinhara before he corrected his mistake veterinarian here yes we look things up all the time medicine is an incredibly complicated subject and it gets more and more complex every day as we continue to make new discoveries no doctor no matter how intelligent knows everything about every condition the difference between a medical professional and a lay person is that we have the knowledge and training to filter through the search results and identify reliable information i am constantly asking myself questions like does this information make sense based on what i know about the pathogenesis of this disease that said i rarely use google except occasionally looking for articles on google scholar the amount of terrible information out there especially for veterinary medicine is mind-boggling most of the professional veterinary organizations have websites with good information on them and many have forums where clinicians share cases and experiences so that's where i go first i also keep a decent library of reference texts at the end of the day though i am the one who makes the final diagnosis not the internet doctors look up stuff all the time bit on reputable and often paid databases in the hospital where i work we use up to audit not a doctor but i have story about doctors and why they should start using online resources more at 62 my father had tried everything to help with his insomnia his doctor 70 had given him all kinds of traditional sleep medicines nothing worked for 20 years it was the same quality of life ruined relationships suffered dad's business went bust i don't know many times i tried to tell my dad if you have a problem any problem just google it eventually he realized he could research his insomnia with google at his next doctor's appointment he asked his lifelong doctor do you think i might suffer from a lack of melatonin i hear it's common for men in my age to have problems producing melatonin his doctor laughed at him and said no i have never heard such about anything like that the doc said my dad then presented him a printout of the research article he found the doctor read it and nodded hum this actually makes sense you know what i'm gonna put you on pivx that will increase your melatonin levels my dad slept like a baby for the first time in 20 years i think pre-google doctors really need to get themselves a bit more up to audit i have no shame in saying that i regularly watch youtube videos of surgical procedures before the or maybe one day i'll start taping my own cases for review but for now i find youtube to be a good way to get in the zone and start visualizing the steps of the operation even for routine things occasionally i'll also see a different approach to a problem that i hadn't thought of i think it's useful to get a fresh perspective like that family practice physician here i tend to run into mostly the same illnesses and complaints day in and day out but i will google symptoms if diagnosis has ruled out the most common options i will say however that for most problems that bring people to the doctor upper respiratory infections minor injuries the websites are actually quite accurate their drawback is of course encouraging the hypochondriacs that they might have a rare incurable form of cancer a tropical disease or super aids i've seen almost all of dr house the first five or six seasons of grey's anatomy and i've binge watched scrubs numerous times does that count a professor told me in med school that the main aim of med school is to teach the students how to take a proper history perform a thorough physical examination know a few of the common ailments and most importantly way how to look for the answers essentially you'll learn the basics of medicine and pick up the rest following graduation the first month of residency is quite mind-blowing but i just found myself going back to the basics as i was taught in the management algorithms can be referenced somewhere books internet a senior doctor so give me the bad news doc well after googling your symptoms it seems that you have lung cancer herpes and gonorrhea i went to a doctor for six months complaining of chest pain relentless cough and malaise among other blood cancer symptoms i did google he knew it he didn't take my symptoms seriously and i almost died i was extremely close to death and his medical partner wife was scared shitless because she knew exactly what he had done not taking me seriously i diagnosed myself needing an ulnar nerve transposition via google my gp in the local hospital disagreed i complained and moaned for two years in pain saw the consultant within 30 seconds he felt my elbow and said oh boy yes i can feel your nerve slipping around operation soon men i've found it's best to just let them to the answer you think it is if you walk in there and say you googled it or something they will dismiss it right away most times i've went to the doctor it's something i've pretty much figured out before i got there and they just confirmed my answer and allow me to get the prescription i need to fix it first year doctor here completed all of medical school i do when sometimes i haven't heard of a certain syndrome or condition or when patients tell me the brand name of a drug which i've never heard of yet or often what a medical acronym in the notes mean for the most part we will use more reputable circumstances like uptodda to read up about pathophysiology and investigations i would rather have a doctor google something they didn't understand or was not up to date on then have them stubbornly insist that their information method which they didn't update since med school and has changed since then is correct not a doctor but had to take my son to a and e with strange bruising on his legs and pain in his knee the doctor said the symptoms rang a bell for a condition he'd heard of but rarely seen and he couldn't think of the name a quick google and he came up with the henok shanleen papura urine and blood tests confirmed that this was indeed what my son had diagnoses are considerations so if you put symptoms in you get a lot of diagnoses that aren't technically wrong we don't usually google for diagnosis we have an idea of what it is then search for evidence to support so on trusted sites like pubmed up to audit this usually applies when we are considering really esoteric conditions commonly we do play with our phone that's when we are keying in values to calculate scores that guide our management for example med calc doctors don't google symptoms at most consumer sites like webmd maya clinic or yahoos as they are terribly inaccurate and dated when doctors google they go to up to date a medical journal conglomerate aggregator think of it like a lexus nexus or store of medicine except far more up to date with citations at the end of every declarative sentence or they go to the specific medical specialties database for example oncology nccn website cardiology acc aha website etc lastly doctors don't just look up symptoms as symptoms are only a small part of a diagnostic picture you look up relevant symptoms signs physical exam findings special physical exam tests to perform lab results recommended special labs to order imaging geographic incidences of disease drug drug interactions drug supplement interactions important family histories to inquire about and less likely but critical differential diagnosis to eliminate before proceeding absolutely up the date and current of the bomb when i was in emt while then route to the hospital i would be in the back quickly googling the condition the patient called 911 with so that i would be certain to hit all the right tests diagnostics treatment etc i knew the info but with all of this knowledge at our fingertips it would be dumb to assume you know everything and not make a small effort to ensure you cover all of your bases not a doctor but i work in a pharmacy for us it's less that we're searching on the internet more that we have resources that you won't have at home i work in the year and i use the internet all the time usually up todder tormentscape a procedure i have not done for two years i will watch a video first to refresh myself someone presents with a strange symptom or physical examination finding that is tickling my brain from medical school a decade ago i will try and scratch that itch as someone who has to know something about everything i spend a lot of time doing research when things don't fit a specific pattern of disease that i usually encounter i was meeting with my doctor over winter break and we were talking about my program in college the industry i want to go into is very social very dependent on teamwork and collaboration and requires you to constantly be learning reading designing and thinking outside the box the program i was in reflected that my doctor got to thinking for a moment then said i really wish medical programs reflected that and shook off the notion that all work is solo in medicine we don't practice like that your team is the nurses who check you in every time me and your emdr therapist we all work together and communicate to make sure you get the best possible care doctors all over the world practice like this we get help from each other we use google or the internet to communicate with other medical professionals everything is a collaboration in medicine especially now when medical records are digitized hospitals and clinic have internet and communication is so easy it is amazing to think about too i've seen posts on other websites chastising doctors for googling symptoms or consulting with other doctors but it never made sense to me if you come to a gp and have an uncommon mix of symptoms or symptoms they haven't seen before on someone in ex demographic they'll obviously ask for help in the same way you google it when you see something you've never seen before when you fix an unfamiliar problem etc since we've been toddling around in diapers we've been told to ask for help when we need it so why can't doctors it's just something i've never understood i'm just a third year medical student but i routinely see my doctors searching these apps not through google of course but through up to date yep use medscape for quick references up to date for more in-depth ones if i don't have my books the difference between a normal person and a trained doctor is that we basically know what we're looking for we can't remember everything but it's nice to have the power to quick search plus those sites even the ones mentioned here are all summarized versions of the main books a normal person can't look at one diagnosis and go now that's impossible being in practice helps as well in america it's mostly defensive medicine so you can do all the labs you can possibly do in asia some people can't afford even the basic health care some technology is also rare so it's very expensive so you have to weigh what's important with the limited resources i use google all the time but it definitely helps to know the names of the symptoms you're searching for and nbsp if you're looking for information about why a patient in the aiku is having jerking movements after receiving cpr during a cardiac arrest you get better results for myoclonus than you do for jerking movements because jerking movements gets you information about seizures and movement disorders like huntington's courier and nbsp also results containing proper medical terminology are much more likely to have been written by a credible source work in pharmacy and google all sorts of stuff often looking for journal articles using credible sources isn't so much about how you found them it's more about being able assess whether or not they're credible ikews here our docs google crap all the time especially the smart good ones good providers can't be afraid to admit when they don't know something and need to seek out the proper data in order to formulate a plan lot of great comments here i would just add that in my experience we are much more likely to google the condition and work backwards often i already know what i think i am looking for but i need to see the specific criteria off the top of my head for example i'm a radiologist and i do not deal with lupus enough to remember all the diagnostic criteria but i know you need something like five stroke nine signs and symptoms to make the diagnosis so if i had a patient ask me i would probably pop open the up to date which is really the de facto medical test book or find some consensus statement from the american college of rheumatology to brush up the specific details so i think the differine is that often we know the broad strokes of what we are looking for we just use it to fill in the details of less familiar stuff being a doctor is less about having an encyclopedic knowledge of diseases and more about being able to read a wikipedia article and critically assess the information doctors google stuff all the time the difference between them and the patients is that a doctor can identify if something doesn't make sense or is a big stretch usually i google any of my symptoms but i end up being told that i am probably having diabetes or some kind of cancer so i wouldn't say it accurate at least the ones that are favorited i like to think that doctors have a website like stack overflow where they post the symptoms and what they've tried so far and there's people who give ideas to fix it as a doctor who literally started this week i can say yes i don't know anyone who would google symptoms but people google uncommon diseases and double check how to treat things all the time i'm currently about to go into med school and have worked in an emergency department in an inner city for two years an interesting conversation i have with a doctor i interned with explained to me how the internet was one of the best places for confirming diagnostics modern medicine changes so much that what a new resident doctor learned last year in med school might be obsolete now clinical psychologist here one aspect of being a clinician is to know your blind spots and to reference appropriately aka not webmd when i'm googling something i don't know it's google scholar on the pubmed to review the relevant research or using online versions of diagnostic tools like the dsm the language of medicine is very different than regular language so when a doctor uses the googles it's different than what you're searching for you say tiredness i've got chest pain with weakness feel heart racing breathing a mile a minute dry cough feeling short of breath when lying down the doctor here's fatigatinia malaise palpitations potential tachycardia tuchypnea non-productive cough orthony you think am i having a heart attack doctor thinks ask more questions consider age young old very different possibilities often man women you say why are you asking if i had pain in my calves i told you i have chest pain doctor thinks ddx pericarditis myocarditis myocardial infarction congestive heart failure panic attack angina pulmonary embolism leg pain dvt and so on and so forth google can help but google isn't used the same as doctors as it is by regular people if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video bye for now

Channel: On Tap Studios

Views: 5,385

Rating: 4.8400002 out of 5

Keywords: doctor, doctor stories, medical, medical stories, hospital, patients, dumbest patients, treatment, emergency, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, sub, reddit cringe, memes, comment awards, dankify, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, chill, story, stories, reddit on tap, reddit stories 2021

Id: Jd_23fedyGw

Length: 157min 24sec (9444 seconds)

Published: Sat Apr 24 2021