Doctors, What's the Biggest Health History Lie You've Heard?

doctors over at it what is the most obvious liar patient has ever told about their health history patient brought to the air was allegedly naked in his bedroom making a salad when he accidentally sat on an upright cucumber we got a lot of mandible fractures in the ore and it was always the same basic story of what happened i was minding my own business and some guy sucker punched me at the bar i fell off my bed and hit my nightstand you could tell these people very clearly were in a brawl of some sort i have a very hard time believing all of them were walking their grandmother to church and a random person punched them i once gave myself a bruised orbital bone trying to pull my blankets up so i'll believe a lot last week in an endocrine clinic discussing an obese diabetic patient's weight gain and diet i went through each of her meals asking when and what she eats essentially she told me that she drinks a glass of water around noon each day and that's it still gaining weight my attending i'm a resident told me i should have recommended that she drink half a glass of water instead in all seriousness though some people can't even be honest with themselves so it's not worth getting upset if they are dishonest with you just keep encouraging them in the right direction my ex-husband who got booted from the navy for being chronically fat used to claim to have eaten nothing all day long go out to the van for something and there was the empty liter of mountain dew and full size can of pringles i did the math on that once and it's something like 1 300 calories or nothing i used to work an x-ray sometimes people don't know they're lying have you had any metal wear replacement no they just fix the bone do the x-ray and it's a massive rod in there and the patient literally had no idea that was there or the sadder cases of elderly people who just don't know you tell them they've had a hip replacement and they just don't believe you i work at an orthopedic office near two senior communities and the amount of times they have no idea they had rods put in after breaking their arm is insane when i worked in a gin office a patient had a really nasty vaginal infection and we could see obvious claw marks in her canal a story she had gotten out of the shower laid on the back on the bed with her legs up and lifted her cat up above her she then said she dropped the cat and the poor went into her vagina what i have so many questions i don't think i actually want the answers to i worked in a hospital for quite a while though not as doctor normally it isn't lying about stuff deliberately they are often convinced of what they're saying for instance a guy explained to me that it was normal for him to have very high blood pressure because he had it all the time this is not normal going down for a smoke then coming up with a pepsi and eating crap is not normal the doc even told him you are not going to grow old like that he ate poo nurse practitioner odds and foresee opiates whatever i have not done any of those how dare you ask me well they were in your urine so how did that happen that motherfreaking nurse planted them on emmy or someone must have been snorting c and it came in through the windows and i inhaled it both completely true stories unreal now man your guitar king c and shooting up we all see your track marks i had a similar thing when shadowing a lawyer i don't know how i have oxycodone in my urine it had to have been at the hospital they gave it to me when i got there they gave you morphine not the substance you tested positive for i can't explain it being a patient accused of lying was a fresh young first-year university student first time living away from my parents and taking care of my own medical needs signed up to a new doctor and got a slew of basic blood work done for a general health checkup get a phone call saying all is not well and i need to go in to speak to the doctor turns out my liver function is raised she asks how much i drink maybe one drink a couple of times a month truthfully she doesn't believe me the practice was on campus and all her patients were students she tells me that she knows how much her students drink but i'm adam and i don't drink that often she tells me to cut down and sends me on my way without further investigation fast forward three years and i change doctors again and get the same blood tests same result elevated liver function a quick check of my notes tells the doctor i'm on medication that can cause this and have been for years mystery solved i continue to have elevated liver function some 11 years later with no noticeable effect no harm done by not being believed by that first doctor but it annoys me that she never bothered to check my records for medication and that if it had been something else more serious she didn't check it out or give me more tests to find out what it was just presumed i was drinking myself to an early grave anesthesiologist here patient lies about using drugs while needing twice the anaesthetic of a normal person it's sad to see not a doctor but my cokehead uncle has suffered from sinus infections for years as a result of his use he lies about the cause of his infection saying it's allergies a cold or the flu to god a pity from others he's on disability and medicaid so he can easily get him to see a doctor each time he gets sick he's been on so many antibiotics he can only use the super strong stuff to combat the infections now he takes pseudophydrine every day to clear his nose as a result of his allergies he uses so much sudo for dream he has to ask friends to buy it for him because he uses more than his state's monthly limit he had surgery to open up his nasal passages a few years ago he felt great for a few months before he went back to having the same issues i am not a doctor but do have experience from the patient side of the story i've been in the air a lot sometime like once a month because they couldn't find the cause of a returning stomach ache kept asking the same questions pregnant std appendicitis etc they even kept asking if i really didn't feel pain on the other side because that made more sense eventually they just gave me painkillers because the pain would fade after a few hours after a few months back and forth one doctor did one last minute test i had to sit in the general hall waiting because the air was overcrowded turned out i had several abscesses on my uterus and had to be treated for several months even then the nurses didn't believe me when i said i was in severe pain making comments like it doesn't look like you are in pain but when they saw my blood pressure and heart rate they took me a bit more serious still skeptic but at least they didn't make comments anymore i still can feel really bitter about that period in the hospital not a doctor but when my meal lies through her teeth to explain her blood sugar being so high and lying about what she eats she's a nurse practitioner btw i was admitted for pancreatitis once and the doctors and nurses repeatedly asked if i used drugs or was a heavy drinker no to both they continually didn't believe me even though i told them to test me i was in the hospital for over a week without once having any withdrawal symptoms i know that patients lie but it's just as frustrating when you're telling the truth and they don't believe you even my wife told them several times that i did not drink or use drugs but they kept saying it's extremely rare to get pancreatitis if you're not a heavy user i'm not a doctor but i've had a few doctors raise eyebrows and when i was a university student lying about how much i drank a week also i imagine the any consumption of recreational drugs question got a lot of false negatives not a doctor but i work in a lab that does drug testing most common drugs we see are thc amphetamine or cocaine we also know above which value it becomes really unlikely that you consumed passively or just had contact with said drug people mostly go for the good old i never did thc amphetamine cocaine but their concentration is literally off the charts which means active use excuses range from switched samples nope someone watched you pee into a cup took the sample and then labeled the tube in your presence botched analysis unlikely we use mass spectrometry for these kinds of things spiked drinks possible but you can't prove that and it's your responsibility to stay clean to having consumed passively again and likely because of the value if people are really convinced that they didn't do that specific drug i ask if they took something that potentially wouldn't show up in our test panel in about 80 percent of cases they get really quite for a couple of seconds and then just stop arguing people just assume that the crap they buy on the street is homogeneous and not laced with god knows what else your lsd which we usually don't bother testing for because of low prevalence might not be pure lsd the weirdest ones are usually i had sex with this girl guy and she used it must be from that which is just ridiculous and it's never kissing or took something while i was there it's always straight up freaking like your penis or your vagina is an express highway for drugs the funniest one was a guy who claimed he tested positive for c because the prostitute he was with tooksie and he just drank her pee but did not use himself we had fun with that one and calculated the amount of p he had to ingest turns out it would take a couple of dozens of prostitutes and a literal frick ton of c given the normal amount of urine a person passes in a day which would have resulted in about a 100 liters of pee he'd have to drink i like how he was less embarrassed to say he hooked up with a prostitute and drank her pee than to just admit that he did see wild not a doctor but used to work in a high proportion of patients who are allergic to nsaids when you tell them you'll give them tylenol instead oh i'm allergic to that too i'm actually the opposite allergic to narcotics so at most i ask for ibuprofen i broke my ankle a few months ago a nurse asks if i want anything i tell her no allergic and all that she proceeds to ask two more times just in case like lady wtf no i prefer not to die just to avoid some pain it's weird how many people don't believe someone can actually be allergic to narcotics not a doctor but emt i love the ones who get revived by narcan and claim to have only had a couple of beers um narcan doesn't work that way i have not done any drugs recently touch a cuddick pale steamy on ecg heart attack and c positive urine fun fact we don't care or judge but it does affect our treatment plans so shoot straight people and obviously stop making it snow in august and other illicit drugs standard not a doctor but back in my drinking alcoholic days i was trying to convince multiple hospital staff post-blood work that i hadn't had any alcohol my back was .50 and i shouldn't have even been breathing i once had an alcoholic patient with a back of 0.72 it was so high that i had to manually calculate it using the measured osmol in the blood because our machines only go up to 0.5 he was happily goose stepping around the air not a dock but i read medical records for work one woman went to the air for a cold sore on her mouth which they determined was due to herpes she then insisted that she got it from the chicken nuggets that she just ate prior to coming to the air neurology resident here responded to a stroke code for a lady who had acute ataxia and slurred speech her blood alcohol level was 0.34 although she claimed to have given up alcohol the year prior mystery solved i can't imagine how much booze you'd have to drink for it to take 8 760 hours to bring you down to a 0.34 allergy lists that conveniently have them allergic to everything except narcotics deathly allergic to tylenol but tolerates percocet just fine despite percocet containing tylenol teenage girls who swear to their fathers that they are still virgins despite the positive pregnancy test teenage boys swearing that they have never been sexually active despite having herpes on their dong which is later confirmed to be hsv 2 via viral culture patients who know precisely what to say to meet treatment guidelines like they literally are just regurgitating word for word out of current [ __ ] who did dumb things while alcohol was clearly involved but denying ever having drank alcohol in their life listen timmy do you really want to stand by your story that no alcohol was involved at your high school party when you decided to close your hand around a lit firework is your defense really going to be that you weren't drunk but rather are just a colossal idiot at your baseline all right people who give urine specimens without a temperature in the 9100 f range oh really you don't know why your urine is the only urine in the history of urine that's under 90 f it definitely couldn't be that your tape to bag of your friend's urine to your leg before coming in for your scheduled drug screen could it people who say they don't know why their urine has m and coke in it um because you smoked them and snorted coke we don't need to consult in scooby doo and the gang parents with tempers who are heard screaming at their kid from down the hallway but don't know why their kid has bruises at multiple stages of healing or old rib fractures on chest x-ray yeah i'm sure that someone else totally not you breaks into your house every night to beat your kid patient i'm taking really good care of my diet ha 1c equals 11 gsw to the leg how did this happen well doc you see i was just minding my own business and it happen even i want to know police later confirmed he was caught burglaring by the homeowner dude got shot while robbing and jumped off a second-floor balcony while getting shot on his leg he managed to get away with assistance from his business partner this is totally the wrong place to ask this but last year i got some pretty bad rhabdo from doing the same workout i had been doing for six months took me two days to go in cause i just figured it was a pulled muscle that was making it miserable to walk with no signs of kidney failure all doctors since give me a look of pure disbelief when i tell them i did nothing different i can clearly see them checking the liar box in their head how do you convince a doctor you aren't lying when your story makes no sense you don't i'm not a doctor but i was in a mental hospital because i tried to kill myself while on acid and i caught a cold i tried asking for some cold medicine but the doctors pretty much thought i was lying about my health to get to drugs i don't blame them one of the patients there was snorting his pills so i get it it took the two days to figure out i was actually sick that they have never smoked meanwhile i walk in the room and it smells like a bar and my eyes are watering but yeah they've never smoked well i accidentally outed myself as a nose picker to my nose throat doctor he was examining the inside of my nose and said do you blow your nose a lot i was like nope and he stood up straight and just looked at me nodding and said ha i realized after that i probably have a lot of scars on the inside of my nose from picking it i played myself i accidentally fell onto this jar of mayonnaise light bulb action figure stapler barbie doll and that's how it got stuck in my butt i'm an extremely boring 25 year old who doesn't drink smoke or do any recreational drugs when i went to a doctor to get a checkup he asked these questions and when i answered honestly he said yeah right just because i'm boring doesn't mean i'm a liar not a doctor but mom's a nurse asking elder women if they've ever had elective surgery they say no as their obviously perky and round boobs sit pleasantly high upon their chest sure you haven't imam i forget about mine because it's been so long and i'm only sort of older 46 and mine are only 10 years old now sometimes when asked about previous surgeries i say no then remember i've had my tubes tied often i still forget the boob job might not be intentional lying we just get past the recovery and move on is all this literally just happened today but a patient said she had never done drugs in their life nurse asked the patient why there was a crack pipe in the bag then the look of the patient's face was priceless not a doc but in my profession i regularly show to hospitals with babies positive 4c mother positive for c but lady has never touched a drug in her life in fact she never even heard of c those poor babies had a pt on scene one time claimed he hasn't done him in several years and was sober since then pd opened the door to the rig and said they found his m pipe and he was going to jail when his seizures stopped urologist here patient came in with a ruptured corpus carver as an aka penal fracture which usually happens during vigorous sexual intercourse with the woman on top not always that exact scenario but you get the idea that there is quite a bit of force required to break a dong anyways his story was that the toilet seat lid fell down onto his penis when he was peeing sure guy kinda sensitive and not a doctor but i do work as an emt when a parent is super secretive about their child's health hesitant to answer basic questions won't explain random bumps scars bruises and seem aggressive when you want to examine those wounds it's usually a sign that the parent is abusing their child or that they're aware of abuse but afraid to tell anyone working in health care field but not a doctor patient lying about not being allergic to a medication that he was clearly allergic to and we are already wheeling him into the operating room when we kept noticing that he's getting more red as minutes pass i'm not a doctor but i know many women patients lie about how they fell off the floor when clearly there are bruises and injuries from domestic violence an aunt of mine had a black circle around her eye cause of domestic violence i was young and i primitively asked her about that when she came asking for glasses before heading out to which she answered a bee stung seen a lot of crap the common joke is how do you know a patient's lying to you because they are speaking i know this was supposed to be a funny thread but it's really exhausting i am trying to help you just tell me the freaking truth during my rotation in med school i saw several people male and female adults and kids who came in with an object lodged in their rectum it varied vegetables candles flower vases one time it was a toilet paper holder every single one of those people had the same story they were naked and fell on it not a doctor not a patient nor a friend to anyone who did so but this post reminded me of that 4chan guy who got salmonella on his dong after freaking raw chicken breast and then he went on 4chan and claimed that he was cooking naked and dropped a raw chicken on his dong that's why i was getting red spots i wonder what he told his doctor not a doctor but i've been drunk at a hospital waiting for a friend with alcohol poisoning took a selfie to send to the rest of the group and realized in the morning more like afternoon how drunk i was looking beside vomit stains on the trainers mismatched clothes and sunglasses at night i don't think anyone believed me when i insisted that i was sober got a few weird looks from the doctors and nurses thank god they didn't insisted i'm not a doctor you could not pay me enough to do that job however i work in a hospital near a prison we have a unit that only services prisoners a few years ago we had about four inmates coming over the course of six months that said they had cut off a bit off their penises they were definitely gone but i seriously doubt they did it themselves wait what not a doctor but my sister once went to the hospital with a bpm of 200 she swore she hadn't done any drugs even though we all knew she was on something it wasn't until we found her rolled up dollar bills classic that we realized it was coke i assumed it was m from the way she acted during that period of time and that she accidentally snorted him once thinking it was coke my pain is a 10 stroke 10 always nothing helps while doing labs in the hallway eating and laughing with visitors it just fell and got stuck around my penis my uncle is coming in he is a really good lawyer who knows the ceo of this place more cousin a doctor time teenage kid comes in with obvious injuries says he's not being abused but instead is just a dead evil type kid who gets hurt a lot cousin gets the parents out of the room and asks the kid again but the kids story stays the same child services arrive cousin can basically prove at least some of the injuries can only happen if inflicted by another human being bruises in the shape of features hands act mostly and the kid gets taken from his parents they eventually did figure out the parents were abusing the kid but the kid continued to deny it and the parents were convicted on the medical evidence alone cousin was never sure if the kid was afraid or brainwashed or what and lost him after he went into the system but sadly with kids like that it usually doesn't turn out too well patient said she bit her tongue and wanted it looked at it was a tumor that had to have been growing for literally years don't smoke kids if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: On Tap Studios

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Rating: 4.9338059 out of 5

Keywords: doctors, doctor stories, medical stories, patients, health history interview, biggest lies, treatment, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, sub, reddit cringe, memes, comment awards, dankify, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, chill, story, stories, reddit on tap, reddit stories 2021

Id: rj90O5CvnIw

Length: 23min 5sec (1385 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 23 2021