Holy Crap That Actually Worked!

what is your best holy crap that actually worked moment about 15 years ago a buddy and i had to be rescued from a mountain but the search and rescue team were having trouble locating us they wouldn't attempt the rescue until they saw us due to the weather conditions and avalanche risk i had the random idea to take pictures of the snow at our feet with the disposable camera i had on me that did the trick apparently the flash reflecting off the snow could be seen all the way at the base of the mountain that thought may have saved my life that night i believe if you hit the right part of a disposable camera just right you can force the flash to trigger without taking a picture of course these days we have a light on our phones but still got pulled over because my headlight was out even though where i am cops no longer give fix it tick as i ask that he give it a few whacks with his flashlight to see if it had turn it on it did i got to make a cop giggle and i drove home safely i was at a friend's house maybe 25 years ago he knew i knew electronics so he asked me to fix his tv i said look designing computers is not the same thing as fixing tvs he insisted so i took the tv apart i noticed a big transistor of color i wrote down the number went home and looked up the number and discovered it was an npn transistor so i searched my scrap pile for a similar transistor well an npn transistor with the same footprint went back to his house replaced the funny-looking transistor with the one i had and the damned tv worked i was amazed i had fixed it i'm imagining a tom hanks cast away fire moment i was in india and really wanted to go to a movie in a newspaper i saw sebastian was playing and tried to get a rickshaw driver to take me there a couple hours and a couple different rickshaws later i finally got to the proper movie theater well outside the city when i arrived there were people milling about and plenty of taxes and rickshaws outside the theater so i thought i'd have no trouble getting back i watched the movie and when i exited the theater it was like a nuclear bomb had gone off lights were off no people anywhere no cars nearby i walked out to the highway not sure exactly where i was or how to get back to my hotel finally i flagged down a jeep carrying people from villages to the city and the drivers spoke just a little english i said i needed to go to the city several million people huge city but then i realized i didn't know the address or even the name of the hotel i did remember that it was by the end of two bridges and closer to the one that was narrower so i kept telling the driver to go to the narrow bridge after a few rounds of that they finally acted like they knew where i needed to go and we rode in the dark for what seemed like 20 miles all the other passengers gradually got out and soon it was just me and the two drivers we wind through the city gradually getting closer to the center and then suddenly the car stopped and we were right outside my hotel i paid them probably way too much and fell asleep as soon as i got to my room completely confused how i got to the right place so easily when i woke up the next morning and went out for breakfast i walked across the narrow bridge and noticed a park with the bridge's name it was the nehru bridge i still can't believe the coincidence after that i've always made sure to grab a few business cards from any hotel i stay at used a yale key that was for my back gate on a yale lock and botanic gardens in belfast so i could take a shortcut worked saved myself 20 minutes on a commute i was in the navy and stationed in japan when we flew home we did not need a passport just our military it well i was flying home and had somehow lost my military aid in transit to the airport i managed to get through a check-in and security with my us driver's license and my leave papers when i reached canada i was pulled into a tiny room by u.s customs though they couldn't believe i got on the flight either this was after 9 11. i did cpr on a hamster it worked our department was called out to a structure fire we got on scene within a couple minutes and two other engines were already on scene one team doing a search and the other working the fire from the inside i was the new guy and they needed help getting personal items out we would ask people if they had pets or photo albums that we could try to get out we figured out that there were hamsters in a cage in the dining room we went in and grabbed the cage and some photo albums and brought them out one of the hamsters in the cage was running around like crazy the other was on his side looking rather dead i brought the cage over to the kid that lived in the house he saw the dead hamster and started to cry i tried apologizing explaining that it wouldn't have been painful the kid looks up at me asks me to take the hamster to the ambulance and try and fix him by this time the fire was out everyone was safe and we had an extra medic unit on scene to help check the firefighters after they were working hard inside the building i looked over at my chief and he tells me go for it show the kid we tried everything to try and save his hamster so he can have a sense of closure we took the kids family over to the unused medic unit and put the hamster on a chuck's pad on the gurney i had a feline o2 mask for when we pulled cats out of burning building it was small but it fit over the top half the hamster with tiny little chest compressions going and oxygen flowing we sat there for a couple minutes doing the best cpr we could the kids family was at the back of the open ambulance all cheering the little hamster on we figured we would go for a few minutes and then tell the kids we did everything we could so sorry all of a sudden i see the hamster is trying to roll over holy crap the hamster is actually coming back from hams to heaven i picked the little guy up and had him in the palm of my head with the mask blowing o2 into his face i was rubbing his little belly and he was twitching a bit i was getting excited at this point and then all of a sudden the hamster rolls over and clamps down on the webbing of skin between my thumb and forefinger i had the urge to throw the thing but keep my cool and pull him off my hand we gave the hamster back to the kid and told him that he might want to have a vet take a look as we couldn't really treat the guy very well about a week later we got a card in the mail from the kitten family in crayon was a drawing of an ambulance with a giant hamster in the bed in the back it was adorable i assume it is still on the wall somewhere in that department for months afterwards i got gag gifts from the other firefighters of stuffed hamsters with heart monitor leads hooked to its chest it was one of the most interesting experiences i had man that's cute credits to you for not slinging the little sucker into the wall of the ambulance when he bit down on the webbing of your hand move to indianapolis without a job lined up decided to just rent a mailbox and put it on my job applications that i blanket applied for in my car while sitting in a mcdonald's parking lot had eight interviews lined up by the end of the day i once wrote a research paper in high school which got an a plus it had all the necessary references and bibliography formatting and everything in college i had been given an assignment to write a research paper about the same topic so i turned in the same paper again i got an a the paper was about cloning a buddy and i after a long night of underage drinking were pee in the back alley on the same block where i worked suddenly police spotlight cops asked what were we doing oh just trying to get into my shop here to get some things before going home slip the key into the keyhole click door opens hop inside cheap but landlord used the same key for the whole block it was mid-august and i was in a park near sudbury around kalani national park we had to do some clear cutting in a horrible bramble bush area infested with horse flies close to where we worked there was a tool shed we were warned often had thousands of flies inside there was no way we could get our tools out of there we brought some gasoline with us and i found a glass bottle so i filled it up with gas put a gas-soaked rag in it and had someone run up to the tool shed to pull the door open and run away i lit the molotov cocktail and hurled it inside this is what i was counting on i had actually seen molotov cocktails go off before and they usually burn themselves out pretty quickly the gas just sits on the surface of wherever it lands and burns down to nothing most of it is consumed right away in a big fireball and that's exactly what happened we had a huge but fireball and instantly killed several thousand flies the tool shed although run down and filthy was perfectly intact and so were the tools then the lingering smoke actually helped clear the whole area of flies before i die i want to throw a molotov cocktail cop here during my first week on the job i witnessed a strong armed robbery during a local music festival the robber punched a woman in the face grabbed a purse and ran away me and my partner immediately gave jace but the robber was a fast little sucker and there was no way we were going to catch him my partner flung his baton frisbee style at his legs which became entangled causing him to fall the robber actually gave us props when he was in the back of our car horrible tactics from a safety standpoint but it worked at the restaurant i worked at there would occasionally be someone asking to turn down the music it was always at a reasonable volume actually pretty low because it was a small place and if i turned it down even more guests would instead hear the kitchen's music which was never family friendly so one day when a guest asked me to turn it down i walked over to the stereo and mine turning the volume knob not actually doing anything at all i looked over at the customer and she gave me a thumbs up and was happy as a clam the human brain is hysterical most office thermostats are fake for this exact reason the illusion of control is usually enough to satisfy one time my internet didn't work i clicked fix this issue and it freaking worked no proof you just have to believe my car broke down with smoke coming out of it and cool and pouring out of the engine i took it to a garage who told me it was going to be around 150 pounds 200 to fix my dad said that was bulls and to buy some bars leaks and pour it half and half in the coolant i thought yeah right an eight pound bottle of this stuff is gonna fix it that was two years ago car still running like a dream that stuff is balls in a can i once made a plunger out of a pringles can a latex glove a rubber band and some vaseline worked better than the original plunger i was in a supermarket once and a very pretty girl that i had met maybe two or three times made a beeline in my direction nearly knocking into me she grabbed a small container of produce off the shelf excitedly then set it down disappointed she said defeatedly oh man these are just figs i asked her what she was looking for she told me that she was working on dessert recipes and really needed some dates i replied slyly if you wanted a date that desperately you could have just asked her face got red she turned away shyly and took pause for a moment then retorted well what would be a good time for you i almost stammered from my sheer amazement of my own success i was medium freaked up at some fancy club in sf and without really realizing where i was going walked into some vip section where there were drinks on the table women were prettier i may have seen some drugs etc i immediately sit at one of the tables and start making myself a drink a bouncer comes over shortly after and asked who i was and if i was on the list feeling bold i turned and in my best entitled voice said does it look like i'm on the freaking list he walked away and shortly later a group of girls sit down and start drinking with me but never expected that to work one time i was at a club pretty drunk and my feet were killing me so i climbed a low wall that led onto a stage into a vip section and sat on one of the couches everyone in the section was giving me confused looks but no one said anything to me so i just sat there until my feet felt better then left we had to write essays about other people in pears favorite color favorite food who do you look up to etc in front of class i did it last minute so it had no flow to it and was just me listing off things i read it like it was a movie trailer and got an a also for a history class we had to write an essay on mount zedong and submit via email i sent an email saying mao zedong essay with no attachment because i didn't do it and got an a anyways i put a postage stamp on a post-it note and posted it to a friend address details and stamp on the front huh it worked on the back technically you can put the appropriate amount of postage on a potato and mail it through the usps it's senior year high school i'm well past the senior slide of not caring we have a book report in my history class worth half of our grade it's 20 essay questions for tom brock law's greatest generation the night before it's do i start scribbling nonsense that looks like cursive occasional i dot an iron cross a t once every question i write very clearly world war ii germany or machine guns i get it back a week later with a 96 and good job currently have a senior in high school i wish i had the balls to do something like this invited a girl to come home with me for coffee and sweets after a date she totally did and has been at my place for more than six years now you should probably let her out soon stood up to do a presentation one time at school literally had written it minutes before class began had four points to discuss on a cue card only person to get an a teacher even said it was clear i was the only one of the presenters that day that had understood any of the material and the only one who had adequately prepared anything one time i got an a on a presentation in 11th grade for putting together a puzzle in front of the class it felt freaking amazing i think the teacher thought i was [ __ ] and felt bad for me or something my wife was not in the mood and i seduced her with my incredible sensual zap granigan impersonation inform the men i installed a projector with a 50 foot hud me cable going through the ceiling along the wall and then down the wall after setting everything up it turns out that the cable was broken i know should have tested it first so i got a new cable and taped one end to one end of the old one i then pulled the old one through i thought it would get stuck somewhere or the tape would rip off nope i'm an electrician and that's how we pull new wire through the conden all the time it saves so much time if you have significant overlap between the two wires and tight enough tape you will be able to go literally thousands of feet of pipe and several amounts of bends with no difficulty if it's a solid run idiot me as a 16 year old decided to mess around with a blowtorch i was sitting in the middle of the garage with the blowtorch on the ground on heating the blade of a pen knife until it glowed and sticking it in pieces of ice well my dad came home a little early so when the garage door opened i freaked out and scrambled inside and was halfway through the kitchen before i even got the blowtorch off the blade was still red hot and i dropped it on the carpet but quickly picked it but it melted a small piece of the carpet so i threw a blanket over it and ran upstairs hid the blowtorch and put the knife in water then i went downstairs and sat uncomfortably with my dad hoping he wouldn't move the blanket exposing the big black spot on the carpet then later that night i went downstairs and cut out all of the melted pieces and tried to fluff the carpet back up to hit the hole i had made it seemed like an obvious hole to me but here i am 18 months later and no one is caught on i was sure one of my parents would see it and ask me what happened but nope even as i type this i can see the blemish in the carpet not five feet from me still looks obvious to me as a dad he saw it he knew and he decided to not say anything take it as the gimme it is and learn the lesson while you're at it don't frick around with fire dummy i was too drunk to get into any of the nightclubs my phone was dead i had no money i had lost the people i had come with i had no idea how i was going to get home then i saw the guy that was in an even worse state than me throwing up in the gutter i went and sat with him for a minute because i had nothing else to do then i had an idea that only an extremely drunk person could have i offered to call an ambulance for him so that the medics would have to take him to the hospital near my house sue the medics show up i pretend to be his best friend he's too drunk to speak coherently so they believe me i get a ride with him to the hospital and walk home safe now that is smart not to mention you helped out a drunk guy got 72 noise complaints at hotel after a wedding went to check out the next morning and they told me i had extra charges for the excessive complaints i told them i'm not paying them and they just said okay i was completely shocked that it worked back in college i was drunk like real drunk walking to a bar with some friends there was this girl sitting outside on a bench complaining to her friend about her recent ex i overheard her say something like i just want emotionless sex with no strings attached i turn to her and in my most sloppy drunk slurry voice say hey i'll have no strings attached sex with you we were frick buddies for four months a housemate locked himself out of his room in the staff house and was contemplating climbing in through the window to get back in after examining the frame i figured out that if you wedge the knife between the frame and the wall you could push the lock open no need to break your neck pal he later used that same trick to break into my room and steal from me such is life i've lived in quebec for about 21 years 10 19 years ago actually it was in 1996. crap years ago i got arrested for trafficking pcp managed to argue it down to simple possession but got three weeks in prison and then was released with two years probation sole condition was that i do not leave the province of quebec yeah about that ended up going out west to work in alberta for two years then came back home and was promptly arrested for liberty illegal illegal liberty how the law works is that i had been released early but was still technically under their thumb by leaving the province i had escaped prison basically standard punishment for that is back to prison for double the time that you were on the land with no early releases i was looking at four years in prison oops the prosecutor asked me why i did it i thought fast then gave him my best smile and said well two years ago my french wasn't as good as it is now you only gave me the papers in french so i didn't understand the conditions total balls 2 i had lived in quebec for a decade by that time instant acquittal pretty much anything to do with my calculus 2 final or physics 2 final i'm not a math person i'm a biologist and i've never studied physics before my first year of university it was torture but i came out in the top of my class solely due to everyone else giving up i think my true mark on the calc final was between 40 and 60 or maybe 30 i literally have no idea but that curve nearly doubled my mark it was so beautiful i wanted to cry as a physics major stories like this are what keep me up at night i was running late to an event and couldn't find the location at all i remember having driven past it once when i was lost in the area and immediately that captain barbossa quote from pirates of the caribbean at world's end went through my head fair certain you have to be lost to find a place that can't be found so i went down as many random roads and streets as possible so that i'd lose my bearings sure enough i ended up right where i needed to be and just in the nick of time too when my debit cards magnetic strip stopped working at the worst timing possible i was withdrawing money for a date so i slightly bent the card and hoping that it will work guess what it did save me an entire day of embarrassment that or use clear tape or a plastic bag used to have to do that a few times when i worked retail not me but friend sister got busted with a dui and was required to go in to drop every so often well on one occasion she decides to just skip out and not go due to imminent failure some time passes and she goes in front of the judge for the matter she just simply says i went they lost it the judge asks them have you ever lost any samples they reply yes and the judge lets her go i was stunned when i heard 1 4th of july i took my then girlfriend to see the fireworks in nyc for her first time i met her near times square before the fireworks in a tank top and basketball shorts while she wore a dress we started to make our way to the hudson river with hundreds of other people crowding the streets hoping to see the fireworks themselves as any native new yorker would know is that you avoid these types of situations just like times square on new year's about a block away from the river an idea struck me to sneak into a high-rise and go to the roof i turned to my gf and told her to just walk in and pretend like you live there this was easy for her to do because coincidentally she was an aspiring actress i forgot what i was carrying at the time but i walked in behind her pretending to be some delivery person helping her out once we pass the security we went straight to the elevator and went to the 50-ish floor two stops from the roof and just walked the rest to avoid suspicion little did we know that there was a huge party rooftop party with free alcohol and dj the looks on our faces were priceless when we realized that we just crashed a rooftop party on 4th of july two blocks away from the fireworks which were about eye level to us long story short we became friends with the dj went back to her place got really high made pancakes and got home at about dawn tl dr crashed rooftop party on 4th of july two blocks away from the nyc fireworks exploding at high level if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: OnTap Studios

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Keywords: that actually worked, life hacks that actually work, things that actually work, holy crap i am freaking out, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit cringe, memes, comment awards, dankify, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, chill, story, stories, reddit on tap, reddit stories 2021

Id: kbxuXP49Nlk

Length: 24min 2sec (1442 seconds)

Published: Wed Apr 21 2021