Hey Doc, What's Wrong With Me? (2 Hour Reddit Compilation of Medical Stories)

doctors of reddit what patient made you go how the frick are you even alive type 1 diabetic in their 20s presented dead of dka unresponsive no pulse in vf multiple rounds of cpr defibrillated eventually stabilized in aiku itself discharged immediately after being extubated less than 48 h later when i was hospitalized for dka i was really surprised by how i felt so much better in such a short time i work in a nur in lebanon where the construction safety regulations are a bit lacks a few years back i remember that construction workers were falling off buildings like dominoes one guy came in having fallen from a few stories up and got impaled by an iron bar that went through the back of his neck and out of his left eye socket guy was alive and talkative when he got to our rush down to surgery apparently it had missed every vital structure somehow and the guy didn't even lose vision in his eye my mother we used to live in east texas and my mom had this lady come in and had a huge infected wound in her leg like massive to the point they might have to amputate and she had asked her why she waited so long before coming in when it was obviously festering well turns out this woman was letting her dogs lick it clean because their mouths are clean and she was soaking it in dr pepper because doctor had her thinking it would help needless to say my mother looked at her like a deer in the headlights when she said that talk to my mother she also said there was a couple canine teeth in it because the lady had an old dog my friend in nursing school was in charge of checking in and out a habitual patient that also was seen by a full nurse and doctor on checkout she noticed a bandage on the guy oh that's for my whole the guy had an open saw that kept getting bigger and bigger and he had stuffed three t-shirt in it he had been having repeated health problems and they just listened to his lungs would give him an antibiotic and treating him yay i've seen this before had a poor woman that had a wound on her back that was so bad you could see her spine i was so happy when she finally passed her family had been keeping her alive as long as possible to collect her social security checks i had liver failure when i was eight months pregnant my baby had stopped moving for several hours so they did a c-section they found out during blood work that my liver had failed i almost needed a transplant i bled so much that my body used up all its clotting stuff i was an iq for three days in hospital for two weeks my liver recovered i went home with my son we could both have died the hepatology department and maternity department were working together which is not a usual thing for them it was a cute fatty liver of pregnancy so happy you're both here today patient here when i was seven i had horrible asthma my mom often lied in my bed with me and listened to my breathing one night she fell asleep and jerked awake in the wee hours of the night and found i was not breathing goes to the air immediately because it was only like 10 minutes away not sure what happened while there what tests they did but i was declared dead in the morning i woke up asked who i believe was a nurse where i was and she started crying and called in my mother who hadn't slept all night the doctors said they didn't know how the frick i was still alive now 16 and haven't had any hospital worthy complications since and god dang it my mom is the most amazing and loving person on this green earth i had been decidedly dead for about 10-30 minutes which is why i wasn't transported to the morgue your mom probably never slept again holy crap i had a patient in the emergency room who had been involved in an awful car accident where firefighters and paramedics spent an hour trying to get him out of his car reportedly he attempted to walk to the ambulance and when he arrived he was awake and talking confused speech but still then paramedics signaled the back of his head to me his skull was popped open on the back so much that i could see inside we paged the brain surgeon immediately and the patient was taken directly to the operation theater months later i heard from my colleague that he was still alive and had no damages other than some occasional balance problems not a doctor but a patient i was in the hospital after a pretty gnarly four-wheeler wreck i was destroyed fractured my skull broke three ribs my right shin it was sticking out of my leg broke my collarbone my right arm had some pretty bad cuts bruising fractured three vertebrae in my lower spine and internal bleeding i've had a pretty high threshold for pain basically my entire life because i've always been clumsy stupid but that was god awful even after i was given pain meds at some point i decay exactly when it was i was in and out quite a bit i heard two doctors conversing outside my curtain one of them said i don't know how she keeps regaining consciousness there's no way she should be awake right now the other doctor replied honestly i don't know how she's even alive i think they thought i was asleep idk but that scared the heck out of me not a doctor but was the patient when i was in boot camp i developed an upper respiratory infection during second phase i didn't want to get dropped back a platoon so i gutted through got back and went to sick call where they treated me for a host of things when they x-rayed my chest the doctors came out with my films and literally asked how the heck are you still alive your lungs are so full of mucus you should be dead turned into walking pneumonia at some point i also had athlete's foot that turned into cellulitis and my last wisdom tooth yanked so the combination of meds they had me on was enough that i don't even remember that week at all i'm not a doctor but i did meet a patient who fell from a five-story building landed on his upper back woke up in the hospital the next morning and got up walking around like nothing ever happened barley a scratch on him think about it every time i'm in a building with at least five stories just looking down like how in the world did this guy walk away from that like he fell off his bike and took a nap actually i've seen worse injuries from someone falling off a bike lol i'm a midwife and we have patients who have massive obstetric hemorrhage which is classed as any blood loss over two liters this can happen for a variety of reasons we had a patient who unexpectedly started hemorrhaging following an uncomplicated normal delivery and we just couldn't stop it as soon as we pumped blood in it hosed out the doctors had to perform an emergency hysterectomy and the bleeding stopped i think it's fair to say we were all shocked not just at the incident itself but at the fact that this woman lost eight liters of blood also that she spent just one night in intensive care before she was back on the ward caring for her newborn and she was home within a week women are bloody awesome excuse the pun for reference women usually have between 4.55.2 liters of blood circulating in their body hence 8 liters is very scary this was many years ago so i can't recall the exact details but basically we had a lady on ventilation with sepsis and multi-organ failure renal failure respiratory failure metabolic acidosis deranged liver enzymes the whole works we cancelled the family and they agreed to withdraw life support so dnr was issued and we took her off her ventilator a few days later she's still around unconscious still in full-blown sepsis with multi-organ failure but brain stem functions were there i remember looking at her charts with my registrar i think resident in the us and my registrar are going but how then one day maybe about a week on during visiting hours the patient's son approached us before he left to thank us for looking after his mother his parting words were and i kid you not i don't know if it's relevant but my mother practiced black magic my registrar made the ward sister contact the hospital chaplaincy team to inquire if they do exorcism they don't my blood sugar was more than 1 000 when i was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes i was less than a year old my mom had taken me to the doctor's office four times in three days but the nurse called her a nervous mother and sent her home also diagnosed with addison's disease a couple years ago i'd probably had it for months and had been living on my own in a town where i knew nobody the day i got home i basically had a conscious blackout happened a few more times over the next couple weeks and i lost the ability to sense low blood sugars when i was finally hospitalized i was in addisonian crisis took them three days to bring in an endocrinologist and he knew what was wrong within minutes but they told me my heart would have stopped within a week due to low sodium high potassium not me but it's this thing my dad used to tell my sister and i my dad served during the gulf war and said he had to work on a guy whose head got ran over by a tank what happened was a marine fell asleep against the treads and the tank drove over him guess the fact they were in a sand and wearing a helmet saved him but only barely my dad said the guys was still incredibly messed up he never went into specifics my old roommate's wife came to our apartment one night after working in the air she is an np now in a practice but she worked in a hospital for a while a patient had jumped off his third-story balcony and landed in a bush and was totally fine so naturally he tried again if the second attempt a branch got lodged up his butt when they remove a said bush from his bud he lost the elasticity of his sphincter muscles the man will never be able to not crap for the rest of his life i'm fairly certain they can give you an artificial sphincter now not a doctor but late last year my dad went to the hospital early in the morning with terrible stomach pains thinking he had a bad ulcer my mom called me at 7am to tell me he had had a heart attack a couple hours later after an angiogram the doctor tells us that he has multiple artery blockages including the lad commonly called the widowmaker he has probably been having heart attacks for years and he has just shaken them off like it's nothing he had a quintuple bypass at 8 am the next day and he is almost totally recovered we are looking forward to going to a theme park this summer and riding roller coasters with doctors approval my grandfather is a medical anomaly his doctors hate him so much he cut out a cancer lump with a pocket knife i was like nine and held paper towels cut his thumb in half stumpy then the pointer on the adjacent hand the long way looks like a claw cut a hole in his middle i was young and helped clean and bandage survived a stroke has a brain aneurysm a hernia and like four teeth he's a freaking mess but still kicking my grandma was similar had aggressive skin cancer and bought carbolic acid from the vet and would burn it off the manh very cut and debride until we got to healthy bloody tissue like more than 20 30 times i helped her as a small kid until i got to be a teen and refused because i was scared i'd kill her just thought of a case i had while working in stroke rehab not a doctor but i saw her scans like 60 70 percent of her brain is gone the woman had a headache years ago when she's in her 30s went to the air and doctors told her it's a flu gave her painkillers then sent her home needless to say it got worse she went to the hospital again after at least 24 hours think she waited four hours in a bed before getting an mri and by then according to her family she's already not that conscious the doctors said it's a small hemorrhage that bleeds slowly and the tear got bigger she got emergency decompression and clod evacuation but it's still 36 48 hours too late she lived because the op saved her brain stem and her family is well off enough to afford care staff and continuous rehab but her mentality is like a baby and she could not even sit up sometimes i wonder if saving her life is the right thing to do i was very early in this kid hit up a convenience store near the hospital where i was working killed two people one a kid he had been beat to crap shot and wrecked his car thanks to the magic of cctv and video monitors it was all recorded that was his last free day my job was to get him in and out we go him up and running and the real hard part was seeing a 19 year old realizing life as he knew it was over he made his choice dang though this was last october i am a medical student i had a patient who was 103 years old hospitalized for sudden loss of consciousness she woke up next morning discharged four days later she just had a hypoglycemic attack she is a retired nurse who worked during world war ii not a doctor former emt one time got called to a guy who had been stabbed in front of a bar 30 odd wounds face sliced half way off bowels out sucking chest wound s impossibly severe bleeding it was an absolute mess dude apparently survived three days later different guy walks out of a different bar and trips on a curb and hits his head on a patio table talking to us on the way to the hospital dies two hours later from a brain bleed sometimes you just don't know nurse here took care of a man who had a platelet of four yes four minimum is 150 000 i was literally surprised he didn't bleed to death from just turning in bed had to send him from nursing home to the hospital at that point then he came back and still had platelet off for when labs was done a few days later out he went again and came back did labs and platelet were three sent him out again he finally came back and was admitted to hospice he had this rare form of thrombocytopenia and while platelet transfusions were given they didn't help much i was amazed that those three zero zero zero four zero zero zero platelets keep him from bleeding out that long him and his family were very nice though forgot about the 10 circumflex 3 units i had an adult patient who was missing the right half of the brain he had a severe brain injury likely a stroke during infancy infant brains are amazingly plastic they do a great job in recovery he had mild to moderate cognitive impairment i saw him when he was in his 40s he got a ct scan of head for some unrelated reason i had a similar reaction to most of you around then i remembered brain is brain it's weird i know a dude with only half a brain he's totally normal cardiac surgeon here had this happen twice it's called an infarct aneurysm after a severe heart attack the dead heart muscle balloons outwards with every beat not completely compatible with life with progression of time what was shocking was the aneurysm ruptured in these two patients and was resealed by the pericardium spontaneously it was literally a hole in the heart wall on the outer side being patched by a thin membrane ticking time bomb one of the patients got operated is now fine the other one refused surgery he walked home not a doctor but my cousin was in a terrible motorcycle accident a few months ago she had to be life flighted to the hospital where they found out her ankle was broken her hip was shattered i believe there may have been a tear in an artery somewhere and the big one she was internally decapitated she was rushed into surgery to reattach her skull to her spine and they had little hope she would ever walk again it's now been less than six months and she's back to work as a nurse internally decapitated wtf nad a nurse guy walks into the ed has huge long dreadlocks tells the tredge nurse's neck is a bit sore she asks where he pulls aside his dreadlocks and there's a knife sticking out of his neck next in the ore 18 month old had fallen from a change table open up his skull to pull out a ginormous hematoma i peer inside and say up where has his brain gone either been completely squished by the clot they leave part of the skull off to account for swelling and put a huge piece of tape over it saying do not touch no skull the next day he is sitting up in the piku having a nice bowl chatting to his parents kids there is no way an adult would ever be remotely the same i almost died three times while being a kid first for illness second because i had the bright idea to eat a poisonous office plant and third because i managed to fall from the stairs cutting somehow my left wrist or when i was two three year old as a bonus i could add a fourth time when i had my sister saving me by catching me from the heels while i was going to fall off a window after my attempt to call the dog outside i still ask myself how tf i managed to stay alive for 27 years my mom once walked into the kitchen and there was toddler me happily munching on a broken jar apparently there was blood everywhere and i was just chilling eating glass another time i ripped out my entire ponytail on purpose toddler me was an idiot maybe all toddlers are just dumb my dad had aortic stenosis which was so severe he had been fainting and falling he left the hospital he was in because he wanted to go to the cardiac surgeon who had done his triple bypass five years earlier he left the hospital on a friday but made an apt on the following tuesday i went with him we took the train into the city my brother met us and wanted to take the subway but i saw my dad was really winded so we grabbed a taxi when we saw the surgeon he looked at my dad's scans and said how did you get here today you took the train are you kidding me his stenosis was even more severe than the size they normally operate on i think the surgeon was surprised my dad didn't drop dead on the train not a doctor so a little shaky with medical terms but you might be interested to hear about my grandmother when she was 36 she had a debilitating brain aneurysm she spent almost 100 days in the hospital during which time one of her doctors just shrugged at my grandfather and said i don't know her heart just won't stop beating a few years later she had a stroke that paralyzed the right side of her body she's been mentally handicapped and in a wheelchair since then a few bouts of pneumonia here and there when i was in high school she got diagnosed with breast cancer had a single mastectomy survived two years later colon cancer also survived she is now 72 and a few months ago we found out she had bone cancer she had surgery to plate her left femur because it was almost entirely eaten away and since then she's been on a slow decline we put her on hospice care a week ago and are preparing for her to pass peacefully but it's like her doctor said this woman's heart just won't stop beating tl dr my grandmother has survived everything not a doctor but i met a few and curiosity gets the best of me so i always ask what's the most freaked out thing you've seen i was hitchhiking across canada and this doctor picked us up so i asked once again buddy said it was an inmate they had to have on suicide watch he kept swallowing razor blades once he got cut off no pun intended he just scrounged in his crap to eat the ones he would pass i was caring for a patient on the medsurg floor in nursing school whose kidneys were basically non-functional his bun and creatinine were through the roof i'm fairly certain as ci was in the 60s and his gfr was three gfr basically shows how well your kidneys are filtering and is supposed to be above 60 this guys weren't doing crap i asked my instructor what kidney levels were supposedly fatal and she said that before that day she would have said this guy's levels were the guy was refusing dialysis too the nurses made it sound like they had tried to educate him but when i went in there and asked him about it he sounded very unsure and said his main reason was that some of his friends said not to do it because it sucks found out those nurses actually just sucked and didn't educate him at all so i told him i really really think you need to at least talk to the doctor about that option because it is probably going to be necessary for you i hope he took my advice he wasn't there when i came back the next week not me but a story from a friend patient came in having been bleeding from her anus for two weeks not oh there's a little blood in my stool when i poop actively dripping from her butthole to the point where she had to wear a diaper all day every day she fainted three times from loss of blood and only after the third time did she think this might require medical attention two years ago i fell 12 feet off a ladder i had a fractured c3 brain bleed concussion and 13 broken ribs i walked out of the hospital three days later my c3 is still fractured my body built a bridge of bone to protect that area in my neck not a doctor but i was a hospital chaplain we had a guy coming on ice he'd had a cardiac event and fallen off a roof he'd been working on and had been mostly without a pulse for nearly 40 minutes we'd prepared the family that there was almost no chance the guy would make it at all but the docs managed to keep him alive and he got a heartbeat back though he was still in a coma docs told them he'd probably never wake up after about a week and a half he did docs told the family he might be able to move his eyes around but he would likely be so damaged he'd be able to do little else long story short after 40 some days in the hospital the guy walked out under his own power with some aid for balance speaking some spanish and english again it don't get me wrong he wasn't back to normal and had a long way to go but every single person on the medical staff agreed he had absolutely no business even being alive much less that consensus seemed to be it just wasn't his time yet not a doctor but pharmacist one patient heavily addicted to sleeping tabs and codeine when i saw the full profile from the six pharmacies she got medication she received six hundred and eight years old padams in one month and 16 bottles of stop and i still paint syrup don't know how she kept standing straight and lie straight to my face not a doctor this is from when i was a patient at a hospital myself so i was walking around with my crutches to sit outside when this man came to sit next to me and started a conversation with how come you're using those crutches they are awful i left mine in the room he went on to tell me about how this was his sixth total hip replacement surgery because the doctors always screw up and under no circumstances did he want to consider that maybe just maybe he's screwing this up by not listening to the doctors sure this wouldn't have killed him but then i was shocked at how dumb people can be not a doctor just a witness 2014 on patrol in afghanistan our platoon leader stepped on a pressure plate ied with the ied buried a few inches to the side of his foot a big blast launched him to the side about 10 meters the guy next to him back five meters and another soldier nearby three-ish somehow nobody lost any life limb or eyesight those three had severe concussions essentially and quite a few of us had minor ones best theory as to why they survived is the bomb planter dug it slightly too deep into the ground causing the fragmentation to get buried and a lot of the concussive blast to be buried as well this will probably get buried but i still think of that blast in question what the heck happened what made you go from metal oh crap i need to see a doctor one time i went to go take a pee i was watching the stream and thought to myself huh this looks a little off i might need to get this looked at about that time my urine went from a slight reddish tint to full on blood red my next thought was well now it's to go to the doctors i finish pee in this nasty bloody purulent mucus came out the end of my dong call 911 now i yelled as full freakout mode ensued luckily it was a minor case of very severe beauty developed epilepsy in my 20s and couldn't figure out what's been triggering them a year and a half later in unstable medicine i'm going on three months without a grand mal seizure yay for three months seizure free i kept my contacts in for too long had a headache and decided to sleep it off thankfully i took out my contacts because when i woke up it seriously felt like i was hit in the skull with a baseball bat any amount of light hurt so freaking bad rushed to the aiku where they looked at my eye and said i had a corneal ulcer so now i have a very small scar on my eye it doesn't affect my vision but i totally learned from sleeping with my contacts in i had recurrent back pain for a couple of years it would be really bad for a couple of days then it would go away for a few months then last year it came back and didn't go away i thought it was some kind of musculoskeletal problem and tried to push through it when i couldn't breathe or walk without assistance i went to the air both of my lungs were collapsed with 800 milliliters of fluid on each one plus some around my heart doctors were surprised i was still alive bent down to pick up mail i had placed on my stairs stood up too quickly and got lightheaded an hour and a half later i still didn't feel right lightheaded racing heart shortness of breath my dad had gone thorough heart issues less than a year before i thought my mind was convincing myself that i was in atrial fibrillation because he had had lots of episodes of it and i knew some about it go to the air yep afib several hours later and two ineffective chemical cardioversions later i get an electrical cardioversion defibrillation but they knocked me out did the cardioversion and i came around in less than four minutes woke up feeling like everything was normal again about defibrillation yes the machine had paddles no they didn't use them they used two large sticker patches one chest one back i was hooked up the defibrillator within minutes of walking into the air no panicking or rushing the nurses were calm and professional the defibrillator is also a hard monitor and getting it hooked up early means it's available to use quicker when needed yes they say clear yes i was out but i just had to ask when i woke up but for about a week after the two rectangular spots where the electrical current passed were red irritated and itchy i'm a guy with a hairy chest yes i lost a good amount of hair when the nurse ripped the chest patch off it really was the best way to do it persistent dizziness and headaches they kept getting stronger so i kept popping with gravel pepto and anvil one morning i woke up with a searing headache and reached for my extra strength liquid advil and the bottle was empty i polished off the whole bottle in less than a week that's when i realized it was really serious turns out it was a brain tumor luckily surgery fixed me up when i googled what does throat cancer look like and a bunch of pictures similar to the fleshy lump in the back of my throat came up gave birth last month and went from okay baby has passed meconium inside so we'll get you out of the bath to push to okay she's out but you might be bleeding a little too much with me not giving a crap because omg look at this adorable little pink squishy i have to hit the emergency button she's in my hijing and literally 10 people in the room all doing something different at once and then they're pushing so hard on my stomach that it hurts worse than the dang labor i just went through and it feels like buckets of blood are coming out to you can have the baby back now and omg pink squishy i love you three tears one third degree 40 minutes of stitching with two doctors i went from meta what stop stop ouch to me in like the span of two hours and it was exhausting and i'm never doing it again about asleep and my tooth is feeling weird hurts a little but nothing i can't sleep through i wake up from a nightmare in deep sweat and my joy is exploding with pain i stagger out of bed somewhat delirious and collapse on my kitchen floor in pure unadulterated agony i've had fingers crushed bones broken and skin badly burned before but nothing has ever even come close to how bad toothache hurts my freaking god it was the worst time of my entire life i had a hot pulp and my dentist said it was the worst they'd ever seen had to have an emergency root canal look after your teeth mouth pain is the worst i have a pretty decent pain tolerance in general but there is nothing like mouth pain wake up a day after doing heavy yard work including shoving wheelbarrows full of mulch uphill feel something funny down there inspect one ball two balls three balls two hours later and being prepped for hernia surgery not on my part as much as the doctors but i guess this sort of applies when i was in grade 11 or 12 i noticed this weird lump in the muscle of my forearm recognizing it was weird i went to my family doctor and got a referral for an ultrasound at some point after i got the ultrasound done my mother found out about it and sent the doctor a note explaining that there's a family history of muscle cancer and just like that i was scheduled for an mri the lumps still there nobody seems to know what caused it and it's apparently invisible on diagnostic imaging had a small spider bite or so i thought on my arm scratched it in the shower so the puss would wash away like a pimple skip forward a couple weeks and i see a dark line running down my arm from the bite area this was on the same day i was at my grandma's house who is of course a walking medical enclopedia she believes it's blood potioning so i go to the air have blood drawn and find out it's celloitis had what i thought was a pimple and picked at it it bled for a little while and i thought nothing of it two weeks later however after picking added some more thinking it was just a pimple or acne it bled again and it didn't stop bleeding went through at least two boxes of tissues and several bandages trying to stop the bleeding with some help from my mom we managed to stop the bleeding by creating an artificial scab with some medicine that i forget the name of saw the doctor the next day and found out it was a blood vessel that had risen to the surface of my skin which is called a cherry angioma a simple fix was to cauterize it with electricity a lot of fuss over a simple scratch pain level went from oh frick this is bad but i can basically keep my crap together i can no longer give even the slightest appearance that i am okay that and the emt buddies i was hanging out with said they were legitimately concerned that i might be dying i had a mild pain in my left side on a bus once figured it was nothing five minutes later i was screaming and violently writhing on the floor for eight hours kidney stones hurt one time i was at work and i felt a touch queasy no big deal i'll just sit down and try to eat something that'll set me right nope i straight fell out my chair and started flopping around on the floor like a fish had a seizure for no reason at all or none that the doctors could find had a killer migraine for weeks and was constantly dizzy i doubt i'll ever know why it happened abdominal hernia i didn't care much about it for a long time something would protrude i would push it back in one day i bent over to pick up an orange juice cup from the ground for my daughter was at a picnic and suddenly it looked like my intestines pushed through my abdominal wall into a pocket the size of a tennis ball i painfully pushed everything back in and went to the doctor surgery was a year ago june i had an annoying pain on my back right side that moved to the right side under my rib i knew it was gas the next morning it was still there i laid down to move the gas that made it worse i started having horrible pain in the middle of my chest thought i was having a heart attack vomiting etc there was a point where i thought i was going to pass out because i couldn't take the pain anymore a few days later i was talking to my husband and decided to look up the symptoms because i was still a little sore i went to the doctor and had to go to the hospital for an ultrasound i had a bad gallbladder attack gallbladder attacks are the worst i feel for you what i thought was a tight muscle didn't get better and kept snapping even went to two docks before one finally's raid and found a brutal hip fracture that needed emergency surgery apparently the snapping wasn't a muscle it was a bone just fracturing and fracturing lovely my left leg started to lose feeling first from the toes and worked its way up over the course of a couple days there was no pain just tingling no pain equals no doctor right that's what i thought until i tried to stand up and my leg just buckled time to get that checked out went to the air had an mri had a raptured disc that and i quote obliterated my spinal cord i was hours from permanent nerve damage or paralysis had surgery immediately all is well now in december of 07 i had a really bad cough strain got so bad i could hardly put weight on it i had deep vein thrombosis blood clot in a deep vein in my leg turned out i had recession after around five years i grew out of it at around the same time as i stopped eating dairy then i decided i really missed cheese the rosacea came back but all over my whole face and neck along with a strange intense itchiness that i'd never experienced and hives had my oh crap i need to see a doctor moment real freaking quick i was sore in my pelvis think between left leg and base of dong i thought i must have rammed it into the bag hooks while working behind the register it didn't get better though i thought i must have kept running into it when i wasn't looking it got to the point where i couldn't tie my shoes run or wear a seat belt it also looked like a freaking golf ball was under my skin i was driving a dale soul at the time which was not an ergonomic masterpiece by any stretch of the imagination it freaking killed having to sit in that position working a clutch and wearing a seat belt made it worse i went to the doctor eventually they found out i had a really pee off lymph node that wouldn't calm down i had recently found out i was posing that can happen sometimes even when the numbers look good i needed surgery to remove it turns out it was the size of a robin's egg which is apparently big for a lymph node all the rest was swelling no cancer no nothing it was just p off i've been sick with mono for two weeks i didn't go to the doctor or suspect anything was wrong until i woke up one day and i was jaundiced like crazy turns out the monovirus was attacking my liver and affecting enzyme production making me throw up frequently as well got stung by a bee while riding a motorcycle on my way to work my dad is very allergic and i'm a bit allergic myself but only very rarely have serious reactions to it meh half hour later at work my bicep was uncharacteristically swole like arnie and the veins in my arm were bright inflamed red yep supervisor told me to get gone i tried to find a dock in the box that wouldn't take all of my savings and after a bit of driving around with the ridiculous be stung arm got treated fun times thought wow that's weird my poop is completely white google reasons why and immediately call my doctor went in for blood tests and mri that day after i told doctor i didn't have any pain just white stools liver was shutting down from my autoimmune disorder went on prednisone and luckily it went into remission i used to fall asleep in class ever since i can remember just thought hey school is boring fast forward i'm 21 years old and still falling asleep in classes anytime i have to drive anywhere over an hour long i'd have to pull over to take naps would fall asleep at work daily and just felt extremely exhausted 24 stroke 7. i just thought hey this must be what it's like to be an adult tired all the time and just wanting to sleep bet it'll only get worse from here then one day i fell asleep mid-sentence talking to my boss i played it off to him like i was sick and just passed out for a moment went to the doctors and did some sleep studies turns out i have narcolepsy i've suspected i've had pied p induced ed since i was 17 i'm 21 now got my first girlfriend and lost my virginity last october and there's definitely an issue down there finally seeing as doctor on the 19th of this month wish me luck i never knew that was a thing that explained so much frick i woke up for work on a friday morning with a tickle in my throat after work i traveled to boston for a pre-planned weekend trip my throat and tonsils swelling more the entire time i get home on sunday not being able to swallow my own saliva without almost crying i did cry at times monday morning there's a massive blizzard and everything is closed except a walk-in clinic i forced my so to help me drive through 24 plus inches of snow because it was really unbearable the doctor there said i had the worst tonsils he's seen in years and that if it keeps swelling i should go to the air turns out i had a really bad case of tonsillitis due to undiagnosed mono vertigo was getting my daughter ready for school when suddenly i felt like i drank a gallon of moonshine and couldn't even stand up room spinning the works meclazine is life now also i can't ride simulators or use vr anymore that kinda sucks i used to have a small lump on my knee i'd had it for as long as i could remember so i never really worried about it but one day i realized that it had doubled in size and around 10 more lumps had started to appear around it by the end of the week i had three awful lumps the size of peas on my knee and a few dozen smaller ones luckily they were nothing more than warts and after two years of applying nitrogen to my knee they finally seemed to be gone they still gave me a huge scare when the started to multiply though my knees started to hurt when i was growing no biggie growing pains until one day i decided to cross my legs and my knee just seceded from the rest of me in a near full dislocation went to the doctor for years until my pediatric endocrinologist i have congenital hypothyroidism i was born without a thyroid on my last ever visit to her said oh crap these symptoms we've been seeing for years might actually be ailers danis syndrome g thanks i get earaches a lot most of the time i may about it take some tylenol and go about my life one time in particular though it moved into an ear infection in under eight hours i've had ear infections before but nothing compared to the pain i was feeling that evening i paced around the room in tears for about two hours before giving up and going to urgent care where i got medication for my ear along with pain medication i'll never forget the exact moment that the pain medication kicked in it was absolute bliss one night in college i went to an exceptionally crazy forest party drank way too much and ended up blacking out i was obviously extremely hungover and in a lot of pain so i went home drank a bunch of water and slept for a few hours when i woke up i had super intense pains in my abdomen and i chalked it up to it being from my drinking it fast forward two days later and i'm in too much pain to leave my apartment every time i move it's painful after three days of this and i go to the campus health center they ran some tests but couldn't find anything wrong but told me to go to the air when i get to the air they have no clue and give me fluids and send me home i return in about an hour since the pain is so terrible they do a colonoscopy and find out i have a few huge kidney stones took me another week with pain meds and prostate meds i'm female haha to pass them wrecked my bike in front of the doctor's office went in and they patched me up they had my mom pick me up because it was pretty bad but nothing serious and then i went to put a coat on and i couldn't extend my arm the whole way and we were both like oh crap had a radial head fracture and had it in a sling for a few weeks sorry of tmi you know that orange grease you get when taco mix is added to ground beef when i was 14 i was trying to poop after being constipated for a while and that was came out it wasn't a ton but it was enough that it would also leak while i wasn't trying to use a bathroom i got worried and told my mom who took me to the air after a few hours and an x-ray we learned that i'd swallowed a small jump ring and it was stuck in my intestine within the next 24 hours i got the same lecture seven times from seven different people i had a pain in my toe and it was an ingrown toenail i had a red spot next to my eye on my nose and it didn't go away for months went to multiple doctors and dermatologists and they had guesses but none of them actually knew what it was it just went away so idk that happened to me expect it was a white spot on my lip and it didn't go away i also only had to go to one doctor it was skin cancer i had a cyst that would periodically swell up then burst and leak liquid and a couple drops of blood i had it for years then it swells up worse and hurts like heck put it off for three days and start having weirdness freak dreams and waking up either burning hot or freezing cold this wasn't enough to send me to the doctor because i am an idiot then i wake up to a horrendous smell and find it burst and is leaking putrid brown turns out i had a cyst with a badly infected abscess and was probably on the way to some nasty complications i have another cyst in the same place but i'm still an idiot so i haven't gone to deal with it yet quit being an idiot and go to the doctor i got my foot stomped on by accident my big toe hurt but i just left it thinking it would go away i woke up one morning to see my big toenail looking as neon green as uranium from the simpsons funnily enough my mexican doctor took my sock off and immediately screamed i caramba just the thought of that makes me giggle colon 3. i was having a strong headache i thought it was the heat or the lack of sleep until i remembered i had spent the previous day putting rat poison in my yard turns out it was the heat and the lack of sleep i used to get these aches every so often on my right side they would come and go i figured it must be gas or a muscle strain woke up one night feeling like i was being stabbed with a white hot knife tried moving tried going to the bathroom until after an hour waking my husband to take me to the air by that time i was crying at the air they saw me trying to walk in husband supporting me and still couldn't stand upright and ran out with a wheelchair the only thing that touched the pain was iv dilaudid an ultrasound later i met the culprits five gallstones with one lodge in the neck of the gallbladder and a smaller one in my bile duct worst pain ever i've broken bones and had ovarian cysts rupture but they were nothing compared to it i googled some symptoms for depression and it turns out i matched like 16 stroke 18 still me working on setting up some appointments eventually it's a spectrum so you never really know but i'd always recommend appointments they can be great if you find someone who is good mild braxton hicks contractions starting at 16 weeks perfectly normal in a pregnancy and this was my second so it was no big deal then my waters broke at 19 weeks suddenly big freaking deal if you burn yourself badly enough your nerve endings get damaged so you don't feel much pain for the first minute or so i burned myself pretty severely on a piece of hot metal at first i was like ouch oh that hurt a little stupid clumsy me about a minute and a half later holy [ __ ] fits that hurts worse than anything ever i'm dying doctors over at it what's the creepiest thing you've encountered while on the job i'm not a doctor but i am in the healthcare field as a dental hygienist the creepiest most confusing thing i've seen is as follows we had a new patient coming for a cleaning he was around three stroke four and mom said he had never been to the dentist before not uncommon for what i see on a daily basis so at first i didn't think anything of it i did his cleaning and then went to take his routines raise this is where the crap got weird after looking at those rays i could see that the child had already had a large amount of dental work done he had around six stroke seven composite tooth color fillings when i sat back down at my chair i asked the parents again if he had ever been to the dentist they were both adamant that he hadn't and also said there was no way a relative could have taken the without them knowing what the frick how did this happen who took him where were the parents had they possibly been in jail for a long time and not known he was taken to the dentist by someone else and had work performed what if this wasn't really their child and actually some kid they kidnapped his insurance had no record of him having previous dental work so that was a dead end too i think about it often but know that ultimately i'll never get an answer it sucks the family never came back in for his routine cleanings i just hope that whatever the situation the child is safe and being taken care of my great-grandmother told us the exact day she would day more than two years in advance my great-grandfather had passed away years earlier and she was always telling us she wanted to go home her wedding for pass away and get back to granddad well i had one child and she was waiting for her to turn to but right before my daughter's second birthday i got pregnant with my son i was barely pregnant but she told me i'll wait till this baby is two then i'm going home she adored her great-great-grandbabies and told everyone she was waiting till the baby boy turned two and she passed away in her sleep on his second birthday though i was sad i mean she'd been planning it for two and a half years but seriously too the day paramedic here we got a call to go out to a scene for an elderly woman with chest pains arrive at the house front door is open we knock hear the old woman calling out from the back i'm in the back room in a very monotone and calm voice my partner and i go to the back of the house looking for this woman and that's when we smelled it nothing prepares you for the smell of rotting corpse i've smelled it a dozen times and it never gets any less disturbing we radio for police and als back up as we move through the house we opened the door to the master bedroom and there is our patient she is approximately 80 and she is staring at the master bathroom with these cold dead eyes she never once looked at us as we approached her and began talking to her i got to the bedside and got in front of her gaze and she just looked right through me i turned around to see what she could possibly be looking at and there was the source of my smell a man about the same age as my patient is on the floor with very little left of his head still attached to his body a shotgun lay on the floor next to him and most of his head was strewn about the walls and bathroom counter we loaded the woman up in the ambulance and our police backup pulled up i don't think that woman blinked once the entire time she was in our care totally freaked me up not a doctor but used to work the 9-1-1 line at night which resulted in numerous interesting tales here's one most nights were long and boring for me as the phone didn't ring much and i was mainly in charge of the fire department dispatchers that's where i worked and i was just doing a rotation in there but i was still on the 9-1-1 line and coordinated with the other agencies police medical so forth often i'd come in hook up my 360 and kick back for the night dealing with maybe a few calls that amounted to a whole lot of nothing so there i am playing fallout 3 when the 9-1-1 line goes off and i answer without any problem me 911 state your crime or emergency guy incredibly calm voice hello i was just attacked by two large black men who beat me mugged me and then cut off my dong i just sit there in silence for a moment trying to process what i just heard me so i'm sorry did you just say they cut off your dong guy yes they did and mugged me too i'm in desperate need of medical attention by now i'm sounding up all kinds of alarms to get everyone rolling because this is going to be a long one me so i'm going to need your location so i can get your help do you know where you are guy i'm not sure i'm in a lot of pain and there's a lot of blood i think they still have my dong now i'm trying to see where the call is coming from but unfortunately my system isn't registering a location i'm on the other line with the cops who are giving me the address while i'm still trying to talk with this guy me i'm getting your address now from the policer help is on the way just stay on the line with me until help arrives guy thank you i'm so embarrassed by this by now i'm kind of in disbelief that this guy is so collected but figure it is shock and it hasn't quite hit him yet out of nowhere i hear him start making this weird groaning sound and then he hangs up i dispatch out the call as a sensitive nature and get all crews rolling when i realize the location is directly across the street from the hospital i try to call the number back but get no answer however the 911 line rings again and it's the same guy saying the same thing and starting to sound a bit more panicked wanting help i try to keep him calm and can hear the sirens in the background but this only causes him to freak out more and i can't really understand what he's saying anymore finally the medical crew finds him and he's naked from the waist down had apparently messed himself while sitting on the floor and beyond that was unharmed apparently he was a dementia patient from the hospital across the street who woke up in the middle of the night put on a shirt and somehow wandered outside then when he became lost he thought called cut off his dong one of the only times where dementia is an improvement of a diagnosis people turn batshit crazy and creepy as heck when they get really sick there's even a term called iq psychosis and trust me it's real anyway the creepiest that takes the cake for me is this i'm an icu nurse btw had a patient who was admitted for overdose very long history of mental health problems she was thrashing around in bed very combative kicking people's asses for days totally incoherent well the night i had her she started making decent sense but still not oriented at all she was extremely paranoid and kept talking about the man in black in the corner i'd hear her talking to him and screaming all night long so i'd go in there and try to calm her down but you could see the fear in her eyes she was talking other nonsense about how she was in space and crap and with certain patients you try to redirect their reality but what i did didn't help she said that man in black don't you see him and pointed to the corner i said there's nobody here i stepped in the corner she was pointing to and waved my hands around while i'm waving my hands around in the air she had the most horrifically terrified look on her face that actually scared the crap out of me like i had just assaulted the man in black i said see there's nobody here and she said in a matter of factly you stupid dumb way that's what you think i promptly got the frick out of there not a doctor but i once had a patient chart on my desk that seemed a little fuller than most charts when i opened it there was a baggie stapled to the inside fill of dead skin cotton balls and hair chart notes said that the patient believed they had bugs crawling on their skin and brought in the baggy as proof they had been brought in by a friend who took the patient to the hospital and the urging of the doctor to seek psychiatric help because there was nothing there it was just dandruff and hair she ended up calling several months later and i somehow got the call she screamed at me about how we betrayed her because she came to us for help and we sent her away where she got a lot of medical bills that were stressing her out and making the bugs and worse not the worst story out there but i felt bad for the girl and she needed serious help 13-year-old boy came in for routine check-up and vaccines at first he was already acting like an angsty teenager giving only one word answers at first and pouting while mother was in room at this age i asked parents to step out of room to ask personal questions about fricking drugs tobacco alcohol etc he answered no to everything but after i asked is there anything you want to ask me before i have mom come in his tone changed he started to tear up and shudder and talk about seeing bloody shadows in his periphery and that he has been hearing voices for four years he always thought it was literally his subconscious and everyone could physically hear their own voices he only started to worry recently when his best friend died in a car wreck and now the voices were yelling at him he's stupid it's his fault kill yourself and then he said they were telling him to kill me thieve been telling him to kill others for weeks i didn't freak out but i was thinking i could not believe what i was hearing i had a psych team see him immediately and he was brought to a psych ward the mother was shocked and had no idea i saw him two months later and he was a completely different kid sarcastic as crap but funny and interactive and happy it was like night and day after summer purdle for whatever reason this creeped me out the most because i don't normally deal with psych i've seen lots of postmortem stuff dealing with trauma so i've been desensitized to lots of things but this event was the most surreal thing to me mainly because it was so unexpected the only other creepy thing was delivering a cyclops baby mother was healthy refugee from south america just a little older at age 36 but had no prenatal care it was more sad than creepy because the mother wanted to hold him to say goodbye after failing to resuscitate the baby's heart vessels were but backwards and his lungs were severely up the developed according to the autopsy not a doctor but i work in a nursing home doing activities and housekeeping i answered a call light of a little old lady and she asked me to remove a as she put it large black woman from her bed but no one was in the bed i asked the lady to get up so she could go to bed didn't think anything of until i talked to her cna and she had answered a call light the next room over and the gentleman in that room had asked the cna to have the large black lady to stop pointing at him and leave his room he is bedridden and only gets up for meals these two don't talk to each other so there is someone there it's made me watch things a little closer i'd love to think that there is a way that these guys could make up their own stories to freak the staff out just to have a bit of fun amongst the endless boredom my wife works on the oncology floor of our local hospital often she has elderly patients who are severely confused recently they had a patient on their floor who was mean to everyone he was a wife beater and got physical with some of the hospital staff on multiple occasions his health quickly turned very bad and soon after this happened the man who was in a cold room began telling people he was literally on fire he even called 9-1-1 to report him burning alive in his room he reported seeing people in his room telling him how horrible he was he also claimed to see a horned creature emerging over the end of his bed telling him that you're coming with me she requested not to have that patient anymore obligatory not a doctor statement but i work in a nursing home i wouldn't say it's the creepiest thing ever but i once had a patient who was hallucinating and kept talking about the person behind me i knew he was hallucinating but i'm not gonna say i didn't turn around and check a few times that's the kind of creepy i wanted to hear i flew to florida from ontario to pick up my 95 years old grandmother to take her back to toronto she has severe dementia and constantly was hiding food and clinics all the time for her protection in her mind on the plane she kept talking nonsense and just before we landed she said to me i think this will be the last time i go to florida why are you here with me i wouldn't want to travel with me when i am being so crazy all the time but i love you for doing it grandson right after that she asked me how much she owed me for picking her up and then slipped back into complete dementia again i will cherish that conversation for a long time she passed away one month later rn here i took care of a lady once she nearly died of sepsis blood infection she'd had multiple strokes and coded multiple times in the iq they'd given her levofed levo fed or leave them dead is what we say because levofed shunts blood from your extremities to your vital organs usually resulting in necrosis death of peripheral tissues this means when she came to me her fingers and toes were all black she wasn't quite right and i've seen lots of crazy but she truly unnerved me she never talked only whispered in this bright bubbly voice like the little girls but she said awful things like can you push me outside so i can chew my fingers off and she would smile all time she also had some really bad pressure ulcers bedsores from just basically being immobile for so long we had to dress her wounds daily she'd usually rip the dressings off pretty soon after we put them on one night i went into her room and saw a piece of what i thought was dressing on the floor upon closer examination it was a chunk of her own skin a partially healed skin graft to be exact still gives me shivers not a doctor but i work in a personal care home we used to have a resident who would constantly yell out hello drove us a bit bonkers after he passed away a lady moved into the room one night i was working a double evening tonight she pulled her cold bell i went in and she asked me to make him stop make who stop what the old man standing beside the bed he won't stop yelling hello how do you just not quit your job and move to kuwait after that not a dock but i am an emt honestly old demented women holding baby dolls they pet him and crap that baby is real to them freaks me the heck out while on an infectious disease elective i took care of a patient with a brain abscess the abscess had knocked out the language centers of the patient's brain resulting in an aphasia his words were completely scrambled 90 percent of the time ironically the patient was a computer scientist software engineer responsible for coding groundbreaking voice recognition technology the irony really creeped me out i worked in another in the creepiest thing i can remember wasn't so much an event as a look a four-month-old child was brought in because it had basically suffocated in its crib due to neglect the mother was there watching her baby die and maybe it was the drugs still coursing through her system maybe it was the shock but watching as honorable priests tells her outside the trauma bay heaven has claimed your daughter the glassy thousand mike stare she gave her she asked if there were police going to her house and if she could go home something that utterly wrecked everyone an hour and she had this otherworldly totally distant look because she was thinking about how she's going to get busted some days your faith in humanity is tested not a doctor but both of my parents were so here's a couple of the weirdest stories i remember mum was in a dock one night a guy came in who had tried to commit suicide he had used a shotgun but had stuck it under his chin instead of in his mouth and had angled this wrong so that he just blew most of his face off instead apparently he only lived about a block from the hospital so he just walked over with no jaw or nose and only one eye basically just a couple of bloody rasping holes instead of a face he was in such a state of shock that he just calmly walked in and sat down in the waiting area the other is much less gory and mostly just weird after retiring dad worked in geriatric care for a few of the nursing homes around town one guy had this really weird affliction that i can't remember the name of but it caused him to have really weird hallucinations like snakes coming out of his nose and mouth and the strange part was that he was completely lucid and actually really intelligent and my dad would talk to him frequently they would be discussing films or philosophy and the guy would occasionally calmly say hang on a second and then proceed to pull a two-foot invisible snake out of his nose he'd lay it on the ground and then it apparently would slither away he could talk about them and describe them in complete detail wish i could remember some others there was one they told when i was a kid that had something to do with a radioactive alligator but i don't remember the details also i kind of think that particular one might have been one of those stories nurse not doctor but i had a 91 year old woman who came in with a stroke she was unresponsive and breathing at about 44 respirations per minute hyperventilating this went on for about three days we were waiting for grandma to kick the bucket any minute all of a sudden her bed alarm went off we figured it was a visitor who had leaned on her bed too hard because that can send it off so i don't exactly bowl to her room when i get in there she is sitting up legs swung over the side of the bed yelling i need to pee i get her to the commode and get her back to bed she starts balling saying she wants to see her husband who is long dead she died two days later not a doctor but a nursing student studying psychiatric and geriatric nursing we spend 12 hours shifts at the hospital nursing home twice a week and usually rotate patients one of the things that constantly freaks me out is when a patient says something like i'm dying they usually do die within a couple days if not hours after having said that at one of the nursing homes we did clinical at they take this as a very serious ominous sign i've seen this in both critical care patients and patients who are expected to discharge that same week it's not uncommon for them to say they see their parents loved ones etc and then pass away shortly after not saying every patient that said that has died but i've seen enough that i take it seriously and it gives me the spooks not a doctor but care provider in a home for developmentally disabled adults some details changed for anonymity privacy a longtime client whose mentality interests were comparable to four six-year-old would cover his head with the bedding when he went to bed when staff playfully asked him what he was doing he'd tell staff he was hiding from the ghosts he never identified the ghosts and did this for years so staff always thought it was just the client being playful at one point this client didn't want to do his normal routine like eat drink stay up to watch television or use the restroom while bathing the client said he was seeing ghosts and pointed staff replied what ghosts in the client said my mom and dad going to take me home staff gently reminded the client that his parents had already passed away that they couldn't possibly take him out that weekend within 72 hours of telling staff he saw the ghosts of his mom and dad that client went to the air was admitted to the hospital and passed away i was the one that had spent half the night in the air with that client i had taken him to the air before and other routine medical appointments this client was known for being rather combative during such visits but was unusually peaceful the entire time the last time he went to the air when i went to the client's memorial i told the client's family that i thought he knew it was his time based on how calm he was i didn't disclose the part about seeing ghosts of his parents shortly before the visit doctors have read it what's the most outrageous self diagnosis that you've heard from a patient not a doctor but a lady i nursed had in a cities accumulation of fluid on the abdomen that gives it a hard swollen look and she convinced all the ladies in her ward bay that she was pregnant she would walk around rubbing her bump not a doctor but a midwife colleague of mine was talking to a newly pregnant client second baby about her first pregnancy she said she'd had a caesarean birth with her first baby because her midwife got her fingers stuck in my fanny but turns out she'd had an umbilical cord prolapse and her midwife was preventing cord compression while they rushed her to theatre taught me the importance of a really thorough debrief after an unexpected outcome not a doc but pediatric therapist it's astounding the number of families i've worked with that believe their autistic child has been diagnosed artistic probably had a neurologist from boston self-diagnosis maybe not but a woman once asked me if i could find the rock of crack that she shoved in her fanny the day before when she was pulled over by the police she wanted it back if possible my dad is a physician and he's got a lot of great stories this is from memory if anyone is interested i can ask my dad about a few more stories but my favorite is when a little old lady who didn't speak english came into the clinic with a live chicken she claimed the chicken had the spirit of her dead husband in it and it was giving her nightmares she told the check-in desk she wanted to talk to the doctor about what to do so my dad the only guy who spoke spanish at the moment in the clinic listens to her and doesn't quite know what to do he asks the lady if she has tried getting rid of the chicken the lady says no she doesn't want to get rid of the chicken she wants to keep it alive it's a pet she tells my dad she wants the doctor to cleanse the chicken of her husband's spirit so he can rest in peace and so she can stop having nightmares my dad tells her he doesn't think he has anything to fix that particular problem and asked if she'd tried anything already at the time he is working on a reservation in the south west and traditional healing practices tend to take place alongside modern medicine she says yes but it didn't work that's why she went to the clinic she said thank you and left with her chicken tldr women comes into clinic with a chicken my dad's got a bunch more stories from his 40-odd years on medicine if anyone interested he did his residency in compton ca exciting place for a doc my mom before she died her destined to death was a quick one 15 months march 2012 she says she's getting difficulty moving joints on her right hand and elbow that goes to doctor says it's fatty tumor sends her home she starts tripping on the floor always to her right to start she is saying she's getting weaker doctors do tests mris blood work for endocrine disorders neuro diseases everything coming up clear i look at all the data i scur the internet she has no history als i tell her neurologist he says i am wrong it can't be als why not no good answer time goes on four months now she's having trouble talking starts writing everything nine months i buy her an ipad because she can't write clearly eight months she can't stop drooling on herself eating becomes difficult 10 months she's wheelchair-bound neurologist accuses her of faking it 14 months she can't swallow 15 months dead drs at the aiku asked me when she was dying from pneumonia how long has she had als her neurologist said it wasn't als accused her of faking it scoffed when i suggested it to him i admit als is an outrageous diagnosis but it was the only thing that fit but if a patient or family says what about x thing don't scoff at them when they ask why not i'm so sorry to hear about your ma my condolences even if you don't want to sue please complain to his licensing board he should have had a reason to back up his exclusion a previously healthy young working professional woman in her early thirties came to the air saying she had a cold that's just been lingering and she couldn't get over said she needed some antibiotics she was actually admitted to the hospital and just kept getting worse and worse pneumonia to respiratory failure needing intubation ventilator towards to septic shock and multi-organ failure every possible test and study done running out of answers someone decided to order an hiv test turns out she had full blown aids and a cd4 count that was practically zero unfortunately did not survive i popped a pimple on his side and chicken bones fell out obese uneducated lady with her small dog featuring a nully granulated abscess on the side of his lower abdomen the kicker she wasn't lying hernia present that allowed chicken bones to perforate through small intestine directly into subcutaneous space i mean isn't that like rule one of owning a dog one no chicken bones or chocolate two make sure to feed them and give them water doctor here one story that sticks out is a woman who was convinced that she had helicobacter pylori bacteria that causes stomach ulcers and some and had to be tested i reviewed her chart and it showed multiple negative tests over the years and even a biasy sample from an upper gi scope that was negative her treatment for this infection was to eat dirt literally dirt from the internet advertised to cure stomach issues there was no convincing her that this wasn't a thing this is a tame one but the others are too specific to tell without the possibility of revealing the patient's identity slightly different in my teens me and some mates are walking along totally stoned this old lady in front of us trips up and smashes her face on the ground blood is pouring everywhere being the lovely boys we are we lift her up and thankfully we are informed that there is a gp practice only 100 meters away after the incredibly slow walk arm in arm to this place we walk in and just as i am about to shout we have an emergency the little old lady whose clothes are now covered in blood politically requests i've come to collect my prescription not a doctor was the patient a few years ago during the summer i started to get really sick fever itchy sore throat cough with mucus went to urgent care after my throat began to swell the doctors tested for strep test was negative they insisted it was mono tested for mono tests was negative yet they kept insisting it was mono doctors gave me steroids and sent me home over the next two weeks the symptoms became worse at this point the pain of swelling was so bad all i did was sleep and drink water chicken broth barely my throat was so swollen i couldn't swallow anything solid one morning i get up and my throat is completely swollen to the point i can't even swallow my own saliva i have a panic attack and call urgent care they tell me time coming right away i go back and the doctor doesn't even look at my throat insists it's mono so my bf x freaks out and demands she look she does finally and gets really nervous tells me to go to the air immediately and they would be waiting for my arrival turns out i my tonsils are abscess about to burst and i have tonsillitis the worst crap ever not a doctor but i went to the air post dvt with symptoms of a pulmonary embolism i had chest pains could not catch my breath and i passed out in the waiting room even though i had oxygen sats below 80 percent and was clearly struggling for air the doctor actually patted my hand and told me i must be stressed and tried to discharge me i told him i refused to leave and he needed to check with my pcp before he did anything else i ended up staying in the hospital for four days and eventually they found a small clot in my lungs i still couldn't walk very far without stopping by the time they discharge me i'm trying to see if my doctor is in here last week i was thoroughly convinced i had cancer in my neck and shoulder because i felt two heart masses i just knew it had to be cancer doc looks at it and then slings me up and said the damage has been done you just need to let it heal and i was of course confused i had apparently damaged my muscle and it had formed two pinto bean sized knots he was right though knots are starting to go away dr rob you're in here i admit it you were right and i was wrong for a second i thought that you were convinced your shoulder blades were cancer people blaming vaccines for all sorts of illnesses ranging from congenital mental handicaps children's behavioral problems to cancer autoimmune diseases senile dementia and so on most of the comments here are funny or eccentric anecdotes that happen once in a while but there are shitloads of patients that every day claim that their grandpa died of heart attack at the calo age of 96 because of the effin flu shot that the family doctor prescribed he was fine before getting it getting it getting it getting it getting it getting it getting it getting it getting it getting it getting it getting it getting it getting it getting it i love how there are no comments on this response because no one wants to touch the vaccine conversation for fear of opening a hole in the space-time continuum well i'm not a doctor but i am an emt i stepped into a house in the projects to hear giant dammit i am having a heart attack i know what a heart attack feels like lorraine there was a lot of fesses and urine involved but no cardiac issues this was actually a dialogue between two obese black women in nj the one screaming was calling the other one baby from time to time so lesbians i don't know she demanded that the paramedics come so i kind of just waited in that cesspool of a bedroom discreetly watching the nat geo special on water bison that was playing on her giant tv my sister keeps diagnosing me with endometriosis and polycystic ovaries and another one i can't remember but she gets furious with me for not going to the doctor because i don't care about my health and i am sticking my head in the sandy tc etc my only symptom is irregular periods and normal cramps fatigue while on my period but apparently cramps aren't normal and neither is wanting to eat chocolate and take a nap it's gotten to the point where i literally cannot say a single word about my health in any way shape or form without her jumping on my butt and no she's not a doctor she does have endo and cos which apparently qualifies her to diagnose me not my patient but my dads in the early 70s a guy walks in claiming that he has colon cancer and is really worried he had a history of coming in repeatedly to the clinic for various ailments dad checked him out and saw no problems sent him back with a scheduled review the patient still had the same worries and stuck with his claim that he had colon cancer dad told hi if you want i'll give you in writing that you don't have this can you imagine that today p and if you do i'll take care of you the patient stopped coming to the clinic with the complaint but he and dad became really good friends 40 years later he is still a hypochondriac and dad still reassures him my best friend had weird symptoms for a while and became obsessed with googling and researching the possible causes she was convinced that she had multiple sclerosis she woke up one morning and the lower half of her right side was numb she went to an emergency care and asked for an mri the doctor there believed she had sciatica pain and refused weeks went by and she went to another urgent care and was final referred for an mri turns out she had very advanced me's now is partially paralyzed nobody really wants to be responsible for their obesity so people google diseases that could be causing them to gain weight my favorite was a lady who insisted that she had cushing's disease what people mean when they say have a glandular issue it's obvious that she wasn't it's rare and there are some classic signs that normal obese people don't have so i went through an exercise where we discuss all the food that she ate during a typical day we hit roughly 3000 calories before finishing what she typically eats for lunch the conversation never goes well from there there is nothing that i can prescribe for denial fourth year med student here so i don't have the md title yet but during my pain management rotation i had a patient tell me that he had hep c and when i asked how he got it and when he was dx he told me a doctor on fortune diagnosed him a few months back after his friend told him he got cancer from too much internet usage i crap you not it took me all the power of god not to bust out laughing but then he continued to go on how he's helped his friends out with medical advice so 4chan and how he doesn't trust webmd or google for medical advice because they are owned by the man and only good at making people believe they have hypochondriasis so long story short he didn't get the oxycodone he was hoping to get from this consultation and made a giant fuss how we're only making his hep c worse by not giving him meds for those asking dx equals diagnosis diagnosed oh man i feel sorry for you i had to spend an unfortunate amount of time in the air and at my gp's office for a problem that presents mostly as pain i never truly appreciated just how big a problem drug seekers are until dealing with pain management people that entire specialty from the outside seems to have the patience of saints vet tech assistant i work overnights and usually i clean just check vitals on patients and answer phones i pick up a call at about 2 30 in the morning this woman is convinced her dog has bloat while that sounds benign there's one kind of bloat where the stomach twists and cuts off circulation of blood from the stomach it is deadly if not caught quickly there's other kinds that are treatable but when you look up dog bloat you're going to find the killer one first i ask her what makes her think her dog has bloat she tells me her dog ate a piece of steak and started acting more sleepy and his stomach was a little bloated she looked that up on pet webmd and it told her that her dog had a bloat i go through the symptoms of gdv the killer bloat and she says no to all of them except the bloated stomach i give her the price to get an emergency exam she suddenly stops freaking out thinks it's not a big deal and hangs up she never came in for an exam fourth year medical student here on my psychiatry rotation last year we had a guy with delusional disorder who was completely normal to talk to just a little quiet with the exception that he was certain his sister's kids were his because he ovulated and bore the children himself i once went to the hospital because i thought i had a collapsed lung turns out i was just super hungover and my ribs hurt from throwing up all night very embarrassing and expensive i was the one that self-diagnosed i'd been unwell for years and the gp kept telling me it was ibes i'd be fine well my mum was told to check out celiac disease for her issues and it wasn't but my symptoms fit so off to the gp i go i have these symptoms they fit and i'd like to have the blood test they refused said i was too fat for celiac and it just stipes i cried from frustration and apparently that guilted them into saying okay have the test i did and yes i have celiac disease and yes you can be fat and have it spend five minutes on webmd searching your symptom and conclude you have cancer with three weeks to live hypochondriacs everywhere physiotherapist here i had someone come into the clinic and ask to buy exercise bands to do rehab for his shoulder but didn't want to come in for an assessment first because he already knew what was wrong when i asked him he told me that he tore his labia i didn't correct him he meant labrum one time i had this bad rash that wouldn't go away i went to the dermatologist and he told me it was contact dermatitis and i needed to switch out my laundry detergent and toothpaste and stuff i did that and it got worse so they did this whole allergy panel on me nothing they told me it must just be a reaction to something so they gave me a prescription steroid crime to relieve it well then it got way freaking worse it became dark red and itched like a mother i started to notice a dark ring shape to it i went to a different dermatologist and she cut out a piece of it and sent it to the lab turns out it was some unknown fungus i picked up in the jungle in costa rica i had to go through some hardcore anti-fungal regimen but that eventually fixed it i was suffering for probably two months contact dermatitis my butt i like to think though that i had a little fairy ring growing on my arm that student here we once had a couple who waited about 12 hours after their four weeks old kitten fell off the balcony because the kitten was tired and needed rest it sadly took them too long and we couldn't help the poor cat anymore i am a nurse in the aiku at a major teaching center and i had a patient's dog to tell me her dad is allergic to potassium because she was at this point i am trying to keep a straight face and not laugh i asked her why she thought she was allergic to potassium and she explained she had a bad reaction last time she was in the hospital i asked if the reaction was pain at the iv site and she said yes i tried to explain that everyone has this reaction and it is not an allergy i then told her her dad was not allergic and that it is not possible to be allergic to potassium since we require it to live she then keeps going on and says she doesn't want her dad to get any because of her reaction at this point i am losing patience with her and tell her that her dad is fine as has been receiving potassium with no reaction she starts yelling and demanding to speak to the intensivist only no residence so i go get the intensivist just to try to calm her down he comes and tells her everything i said is true and he doesn't have time for her voodoo crap so she needs to calm down and let us care for her dad who is on life support not a doctor here but a patient who feels some sort of self-diagnosis is helpful especially if of a young age i was constantly at the doctors over a period of two years with bleeding from the rectum and constant abdominal cramps because i was only 18 i was told it was women's troubles they refused to look at my bowels because of this and i even had a doctor roll their eyes at me for questioning otherwise fast forward a year and i feel really ill with bad diarrhea and the cramps and bleeding still three a and e trips and i was told it was just gastroenteritis finally when it didn't stop they did keyhole surgery to remove my appendix thinking it was appendicitis it wasn't two weeks in hospital and finally i got a last minute scan which told them my colon was deteriorating they removed my large intestine and gave me a stoma where your small intestine is pulled to the outside of your abdomen and waste is collected in an ostomy bag i was also told my colon was just half an hour from perforating and i would have died without the emergency surgery finally i was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis a form of inflammatory bowel disease since the operation i have had a reversal where the small intestine is stretched to the rectum to allow me to go to the toilet normally but i now live on a lot of medication i'm often having to take time off work due to only having diarrhoea and having it around six eight times a day despite all the pills i have to take to manage it also get a lot of bleeding cramps and still can get you see in the rectum which may lead to more major surgery had to have botox in the rectum to make going to the toilet less painful and just last week was in hospital with a suspected intestinal blockage i'm only 21 this could have been prevented if my agent complaints had been taken seriously as if my colon hadn't been as bad as it was which had happened over time it would have been medicated a doctor but a woman came in claiming her foul loader was from a leftover condom in her never regions from two weeks prior needless to say there was no condom down there just some fungi even more unusual she must have been with a pretty fun guy i'm a medical student and this is from when i worked in a it's not really a ridiculous self-diagnosis but it was pretty funny the doctor i worked with walked into the room after the nurse was finished and this lady immediately told him she had a problem with her gallbladder she started listing off all the symptoms she had which read like a textbook's description of gallbladder pain finally he asked her to point to where she felt the pain and she confidently pointed to her left upper abdomen and said right here the gallbladder is on the right side her husband thought it was hilarious to be fair i had gallstones verified via ultrasound and a chronically inflamed gallbladder as per my surgeon and all my pain was in the center just below my ribs five doctors missed it due to where my pain was my gp only ordered the ultrasound after my milhon was a nurse suggested it upper right side was sore after they took my gallbladder out it put up a fight apparently what's the most unprofessional thing a doctor has said to you i was refused birth control once because apparently it's a decision my husband needed to be present for because we could want kids nothing permanent just birth control christ audiologist told me i just thought i was losing my hearing because i hang around too many deaf people and that i need counselling i have meniere's disease verified by actual doctors as someone with hearing loss the amount of trash audiologists is astounding went to my doctor with allergy-related shortness of breath and she asked me when my last menstrual cycle was at the time i was on a hormonal bc pill prescribed by a different doctor about six months prior that i took in three-month cycles having my period every three months instead of monthly i told her it was two months prior and before i could start to explain she cut me off rolled her eyes and said oh so you're here for a pregnancy test i was insistent that i was having trouble breathing and that i was on the tail end of a three-month pill cycle so she reluctantly ordered some breathing tests and told me don't worry i'm going to give you the test i was not pregnant but i did get diagnosed with rad and prescribed an inhaler that day edit forgot to add that under the treatment notes she sent me home with she added that i needed to consistently take birth control pills to increase the effectiveness and avoid further scares my dentist while performing a root canal oh wow that's quite a lot of blood and in response to my muffled sounds of concern about that statement oh don't worry you have very nice blood it's a wonderful shade of red it did not make me feel any better about the situation two occasions same dumbass doctor i was like 12 and i got a skin infection in my back and he just blatantly told me it was that disease where fish have to eat the dead skin and that it had no cure and was gonna get a lot worse being a kid i was heartbroken by that especially when told in such a blunt way anyways my mom took me to another hospital and they were shocked at how dumb the other guy was obviously wrong diagnosis it was something really easy to treat and how he could just blurt that out to a kid second time i was about 15 and got to swell in the r tip of my penis and he just started screaming and calling his colleague and started pointing at it and crap if i was embarrassed before you can guess how i felt after it fixed itself after a while anyways no thanks to that [ __ ] when i was in middle school i was getting sick every day coming home from school to vomit for hours go to sleep and repeat this went on for about a week or so before i finally went to my doctor upon getting there the only thing my doctor did was put that earscope thingy in my ear for a few seconds he then asked if i was telling the truth and told my mom i was faking it to get out of school a few days later we found the cause the underside of my bed was covered in mold luckily we found it when we did there's no telling how sick i could have gotten i have hated my family doctor ever since and refused to go back to him stop coming to me all the time it is all in your head well he wasn't wrong it's all in my head that's why another professional and good doctor sent me to a psychiatrist when they confirmed that my digestive system is perfectly fine all the pain and discomfort i felt might be due to one mental illness a few years ago i went in for a routine physical and i had also asked for an std test i had no reason to think i had anything i always used protection i didn't have frick anonymous and as far as i knew i hadn't been exposed to anything i was just trying to be responsible and it's always good to be sure on the day of the physical the doctor was friendly pleasant and professional he was wrapping up the exam and finishing the paperwork but he hadn't mentioned the std test at all so i said oh and i also asked for an std test when i made the appointment his mannerisms changed immediately he went quiet and his shoulders tensed up as he hunched forward over his paperwork i wasn't aware of any need for an std test it was very clear that he was all of a sudden uncomfortable being in the room with me he filled out the paperwork for the tests begrudgingly handed it to me and gruffly said something like you should be fine as long as you don't get involved with any nasty habits the judgmental and confrontational attitude was bad enough but it was worth watching his manner completely change in an instant and being treated like a different person at the end of the exam than i was at the beginning all i did was bring up a simple test which any responsible active and private life adult should be taking at least once a year dentist basically asked to kiss me i knew he was gay but it was awkward and inappropriate i hadn't shaved in a while was letting my stash grow out a bit after getting my teeth cleaned by the hygienist the dentist comes in to check he notices the facial hair which i normally don't have and asks if it tickles my wife when i kiss her i said actually my wife says it tickles her lips his response was i'd like to find out myself dead silence for a few minutes the assistant looks shocked and embarrassed i say well that's inappropriate but kinda laugh it off my two kids were present as well there were seven and nine at the time it's two separate times for me the first i had a doctor tell me that my pelvis was like a sewer no idea wth he was thinking either i had no diseases or anything the next i ended having to see my mother's doctor because i thought i had a yeast infection i'm old and this was before you could otc treatments he does the test and then tells my mother the results not the actual doctor but whoever answered the phone at my old gym back when i discovered i was pregnant i spent the night freaking out but thought well it's fine i'll call my gin in the morning because i know they do ob stuff as well i had no idea what the next step after an at-home pregnancy test was so i called them up said i'm a regular patient there and i'd had my yearly literally a few weeks prior and i've just discovered i'm pregnant and wasn't sure what to do next in a response i got a very snotty well what do you expect us to do about it we'd just give you the same test you already took at home i just went okay and hung up eventually found a free women's clinic in my town which calculated how far along i was and then scheduled the first sonogram for the following week so i guess that's what i expected them to do you know they're freaking jobs so i had to go to urgent care to deal with a very enthusiastic yeast infection in my lady bits the np kept referring to them as my down there's never once used the word viagena genitals or any other medical terminology i have ulcerative colitis and have to talk about maya to doctors quite a lot none of them have ever referred to it as anything but the back passage which is honestly so much weirder than using any of the billion other names for it when i was about 14 my doctor thought that i was a little too snarky and before she walked out of the room while i was lying face down on the sheet she playfully smacked my butt with her clipboard and said too tempting i don't personally care at all that she did this it doesn't bother me and i am not putting any thought into it but even though i don't care i'm aware of how other people would feel about that sort of thing so still see it as a really bad idea to do that you were 14 in lsp to find a general time is it the nurse practitioner who while i was in the stirrups sing-songed okay i'm saying hello to your cervix and it's saying hello back which i thought was odd because it had never said anything to me or was it the gynecologist who said i'm going to give you a mirror and make you look at what you did to yourself spoiler alert i didn't do it to myself or maybe it was the male doctor who after giving me my annual physical started asking unnecessary questions about my private life which ended with him telling me i must not be any fun in bed and then leering i bet you like it dirty holy god after reading all the ob gyn experiences in this thread i've apparently been incredibly lucky i can't imagine having to go through that i'm sorry you had to deal with such lack of professionalism i had a friend experience this one indian accent you have that thing that you know what do you say when you oh you're pregnant you have that thing you know when the parasite grows inside and you are more likely to die for a while and get blood clots sometimes your pituitary explodes you know oh yeah you're pregnant oh you are from x country i am from neighboring country why our country is our xenophobic towards chinese descent like us while their own natives are all lazy and stupid blah blah blah for half an hour and that's on my first consultation which is never repeated you have anxiety yes but you really just need to stop worrying and get over whatever it is you're anxious about thank you doctor mental illness gets short shrift all over the world it's unfortunate unfair and it needs to change not me but overheard by my mom who is now 90 she had pneumonia when she was 12 and was in the hospital at the mayo clinic since she lived near there one morning she hears doctor mayo outside her room ask the nurse oh is she still alive this one shocks me the most a physician in the top of his field with no bedside manner granted he might have thought she couldn't hear but still nurse not a doctor but same deal condom broke when i was 16 so i took the morning after pill and was not expecting the effects it had essentially induced a period that was really strange and painful i was worried so i called my mom and we went to the clinic nurse tells me this normal to be expected etc but she asked about my private activity and i said i had a boyfriend and was on the pill but used condoms because there's no way i'm getting pregnant at 16. she said why are you using condoms anyways you're on the pill you're in a relationship it'll be fine i was raised by parents who are very open and we had multiple talks about protection stds all that fun stuff so i knew i was just being extra safe plus what 16 year old takes their pills perfectly i was absolutely shocked she thought it was a good idea to tell a 16 year old condoms weren't necessary i had a blighted over my schedule to dnc the nurses outside of my room were talking about how no one ever goes for the surgery i must really not want kids i yelled out the door that there was no baby and that i would die without surgery they popped in and said we know that's how women like you like to think of it but every pregnancy is a life so i told them to look at my ultrasounds and show me the baby they looked stopped talking and left b blighted ovum i don't know what it is but it sounds ghastly made my ovaries hurt and i'm a guy two years ago i asked him if i should be worried about a bump in my neck he felt it got blood work and said i wouldn't worry about it fast forward to present day i'm now kicking stage three hodgkin's lymphoma's butt and went through my first chemo yesterday always get a second opinion he got it partially right many bumps are just reactions to an infection the correct course of action is to evaluate treat for an infection then have a follow-up in a few weeks if it's still present then get a biasy i said i was having suicidal thoughts and severe insomnia when i was 13 14 and asked how to get a therapist or psychiatrist he shrugged it off with everybody's like that at your age it's fine three suicide attempts and a psychological meltdown later i started going to therapy i sincerely hope that you are doing better mentally today that is an awful thing to say to a teenager especially as a doctor i am glad you started going to therapy and possibly a psychiatrist to get help i'm bipolar i'm also super functional and stable i have an excellent therapist and i'm well medicated by a great psychiatrist both of whom i pay out of pocket because my plan is little crap and i resent how bad their mental health care is i present cleanly and professionally all that background is to clarify that nobody would ever guess my health issues without being told not that it matters because this should not happen anyway anyway i was at the object a couple years ago and we had gone over the usual medical history medications etc the nurse noticed my tattoo it's my only one it's fairly simple and complimented it i thanked her like a normal person and she said did you get that when you were manic and laughed i was steamed but didn't say anything at the time i had to go back got the same nurse this time as she confirmed i was still on the same meds she blurted out lamechtel they're seriously using that for bippler now that's an interconvulsant i can't believe they're just giving medications like that out like candy now for something they can't even prove is real that's not an exaggeration and it's very close to word for word which i know because i took note of it in my phone and emailed it to myself the second she left the room first of all b it's been an approved mood stabilizer for bipolar patients since 2000 freaking three i'm not even going to go into the rest of why that's a completely crappy and inappropriate comment from anyone let alone a person who's supposed to be focused on my fanny and mind her freaking business about my mental health but okay that time i complained after i left customer service did handle it really well and assisted me in a formal complaint process and i never had to deal with her ignorant butt again i just can't imagine i'm the first patient that's dealt with that and it was really crappy so i hope the complaint did something i had to get rabies shots after an incident with a bat that most likely didn't bite me but if you know anything about bats you know their bites aren't always visible went to the air to get it done and the doctor on duty told me he didn't want to essentially i told him i would feel more comfortable with a shot knowing how long you can wait to see signs of rabies and how untreatable it is i didn't want to wait 10 years to know i was ok especially since i have pretty bad anxiety around death he mocked me a little then when i said i want the shot explicitly he said good thing you're a minor and can't make that decision and then tried to scare my already crying mother about allergic reactions completely talking over me thank god my dad showed up and agreed with me because i was in a battle i just got a ridiculous adrenaline rush typing that up still angry i was very overweight as a teenager and i had told my doctor during a routine physical that the week before i had a horrible stomach bug and was vomiting with a high fever she said good maybe you'll lose some pounds that way i saw my doctor for a routine checkup i went back a couple weeks later for something else can't remember in that time i was going through a bad breakup and not eating or sleeping much i lost around 20 pounds in just a couple of weeks i looked like crap bags around my eyes bedraggled just crappy like someone who didn't give a crap anymore after they weighed me my doctor congratulated me on my weight loss instead of questioning why her patient lost such an extreme amount of weight in a short amount of time when i told her i was stressed out from a breakup and couldn't eat anything without throwing up she said well whatever works that was the last time i saw her if i had an eating disorder or something that probably would have killed me i didn't even need to lose 20 pounds and if i did no doctor should applaud depression and stress as a good weight loss routine these kinds of situations always freak me out especially when there is such a devastating crossover between eating disorders and depression anxiety and stress i'm glad you were able to leave i don't consider it unprofessional but i want to take this opportunity to say that when i had the consult for my vasectomy the doctor grabs my testicles leans in to take a look and says beautiful this old indian guy is grabbing my balls and making me blush when i got mine the nurse that was prepping me said i did a very good job shaving and she appreciated it because it saved her the trouble i went to a doctor for help with my weight loss and he hit me with this gem well we know everyone can lose weight because there were no fat people at auschwitz while it may be true the statement was tactless as all heck my awful doctor's appointment i had about three years ago i went to this doctor who was highly reviewed and was covered by my insurance i show up at the office and see all these advertisements for the various weight loss stuff he's peddling that was the first red flag i sit down and i start filling out the paperwork it was all pretty routine medical history stuff and so i wasn't bothered i was actually quite impressed that they scanned it in and itself populated the digital chart i hadn't seen that before the nurse just had to go through and ask me to clarify some points and add some information which was fine i get to the doctor we go into this little room and he leaves the door open there's about five of these rooms on a hallway and he starts asking me many of the questions i'd already answered but with the door open start asking about health of my private life with the door open he never once mentions privacy or confidentiality during this time he without any indication from me about my political leanings starts making aggressive comments about obamacare and how awful it is for everyone he makes a couple of off-color political jokes that i didn't find funny at all he makes some comment about how as a younger guy i probably don't have good insurance i tell him that my insurance fine and i'm not worried about not being covered he apparently took that as a challenge and ordered labs that my dad a gp described as the most superfluous and expensive lab work he'd ever seen on someone healthy at my age 200 worth of labs mind you this was a physical i was 25 and hadn't had one since i was 18 and thought i needed a checkup never once did he touch me he checked my breathing with a stethoscope but never actually touched my skin he never asked me to lift my shirt never asked me to drop my pants it was our first time meeting he then overcharged me for my physical the insurance paid around five hundred dollars for a physical that should have been max two hundred dollars my dad said he was astounded at the end of our meeting he pushed me hard to remember to write him an amazing review online that didn't go the way he intended once i was at a carnival with a girl i had just started dating it was a pretty casual event i had also brought along my grandma and some buddies we had just gotten done playing the see how fast you can pitch game when i notice my doctor walking towards me at a carnival of all places he comes right up and says your test results just came in you've got the hiv big time big time pretty hard to play that one off smoothly i went to urgent care because an alarming amount of blood was coming out of my butt ended up being bad hemorrhoids i was sitting in an examination room and a male doctor walks in the door and loudly bellows out bleeding from the [ __ ] you how i said yep and he asked me if i was sure it wasn't just my period i told him i was sure and he asked me how i knew as if i don't know the difference between my fanny and my butt said i was having trouble with my weight doctor smirks at me and says take your clothes off and let me be the judge of that this was my roommate who had crohn's two examples same hospital first not a doctor but still unprofessional in a hospital nurse came in and just said something like your fat that's your problem how do you not respect yourself she was not that fat maybe 150 for a 5 feet 5 inches girl she had also been taking meds that make you gain weight second my roommate was in a lot of pain from crohn's she called her doctor and asked if they could do pain meds to which the doctor immediately says no and insinuates that she's just trying to get high even though crohn's is a very painful disease not to mention she has been expressing the meds she was on felt like they were working less and less with each frequent appointment she had which said doctored ignored from that she contacted the doctor's supervisor the doctor got punished i can't remember to what extent but my friend was pushed to a new doctor and given pain pills shortly after she started going to a new hospital frick that i have crohn's as well and it is extremely painful also that nurse sounds rude when i took meds that impacted my weight it really took a toll on my self-esteem and that would be awful coming from a nurse i'm glad that your roommate found a better hospital what was your most embarrassing moment in front of a doctor i was embarrassed for the doctor many years ago i had a suction lipectomy done on my neck to remove excess fat when i went back for a post-surgical follow-up the doctor asked me to remove my blouse and bra never having been shy or modest around medical professionals i figured he must have needed to see my neck in relation to the rest of my chest so i happily disrobed and was standing there with my stuff hanging out when he realized i was not another patient who had had a booby job he calmly asked me to put my clothes back on and apologized for mistaking me for the other patient but he was blushing like crazy i just got to chuckle out of it having a cut on my bollocks after deciding to make them a bit fancy for a checkup didn't want to go out but took off a few of the crazy long ones with a razor accidental nick bled like a mofo but forgot all about it by time the appointment came around then she asked me about the scab on my sack i suddenly flushed and found myself looking down at this unfathomably hot doctor holding my plums in her gloved hand before i knew what was happening i was reeling off a story about catching it on a fishhook whilst organizing my tackle in the nude it sounded ridiculous she knew it i knew it i cringe every time i think of it first time having a whole body scan the nurse told me to go to a small room and undress i did and as soon as she looks at me she's all like what the heck apparently you are not meant to take all your clothes off sounds like a mistake i was just getting my flu shot and the nurse asked which arm i wanted it in i was wearing a sweater and i wasn't going to be able to roll it up to my shoulder so i started taking it off to give the nurse access to my arm she looked surprised and rushed to close the door i had a shirt on underneath but apparently she thought i was just stripping my clothes off so i felt really awkward the rest of the visit when i was 13 the doctor saw that i had strep throat you know that little stick they basically shoved down your throat to swab it i hated that test when she put the stick in my throat i had a bad reflex and kicked my doctor in the shin the hard most embarrassing thing to ever happen to me in front of her i had an embarrassing thing happen with the strep test too at age 11 i found out that i had no gag reflex and my mom joked my future boyfriend would be happy i didn't understand why for a few years though or why my doctor laughed kind of a different situation because i wasn't a patient but i was finishing charting stood up and then tried to sit on the rolling chair i must have slightly pushed it backward because i could only catch the slightest edge of the chair tried to catch my balance and sit farther back in the chair slid back farther this went on for about 15 seconds until i fell on the ground it was so prolonged and awkward and of course in front of a group of physicians about to start rounds it reminds me of that guy who fell for 15 seconds straight and i love that gif so thanks for reminding me not sure if embarrassing is the right word but i was definitely ashamed when i was 14 i confessed to my mum that i thought i had depression she immediately booked me to go to the doctor later that day then my cat came in with a wheat seed in her eye which was fully hooked around her eyeball we couldn't get it out so we had to go to the vet which meant a 30-minute car trip with me holding a cat in agony got out of the car with cuts all over my arms rib kids insides that mercifully gave us a cage for free on the way back help that i literally bled on his bench went to the doctor a few hours later mum explained how i'd seemed distant and my grades had tanked that year to the dock who said yes and i can see the self-harming mum said no no the cat did that today we had to have her in the car and i burst into tears because i had been hiding wrist scars from her when i held out my arm to let the doctor look i felt so ashamed mum's a friggin angel i didn't want her to think she'd failed as a mum i hope you are doing better now it hurts to know that you were in this situation went to the family doctor to get a lump in my armpit checked out the nurse told me to put on a gown so i mindlessly stripped down naked and put on a gown when the doctor came in he had a weird look on his face and said you really didn't need to take your pants off awkward why do they need to embarrass people geez so i had my son two years ago ended up with really low blood pressure and they gave me a lot of fluid like a ton in the excitement after he was born and without having slept in 24 hours i forgot what the nice nurse told me when i was transferred to my recovery room that i should get up and pee frequently one of the midwives came to visit me to see how i was doing she was my least favorite one i needed to pee i got up and sat down very quickly because i started peeing the second i stood up she thought i almost fainted and came over telling me that i needed to be more careful as i blushed and said i was peeing stood back up got it all over her shoes even though i was trying to hold it in hobbled to the bathroom leaving the largest puddle of urine i've ever seen and still managed to pee in the toilet and again while another nurse came in to help me back to the bed good thing my kid is cute my epidural worked so well two nurses had to help me to the bathroom well after birth then call someone in to clean up the little trail of blood from the bed to the bathroom they missed a spot and i can see it in the pictures of my daughter meeting my son the next day during a physical i casually asked my regular doctor what a red mark was by my mouth he was writing something down and without even looking up he said you drool in your sleep i've always wondered how long he knew that information since he didn't even need to look at me to answer he was right too my husband just never wanted to mention it lol when i was 19 also a virgin at that time i had a pulled muscle in my groin from work went to the doctor and his first assumption after confirming it wasn't testicular torsion was a ut how often do you freak i don't come really like none i'm a virgin at your age i was freaking 19 in a town full of people i hate i'm not here to be judged by you just fix my pulled muscle i pooped on a doctor while giving birth i'd been eating a really seedy bread loaf leading up to labor so it was really lumpy they pretended like it didn't happen but i knew i've heard from an ob nurse friend that it happens a lot like more than 25 of the time it was valentine's day at school i was in third grade and you could pay a dollar to send someone a rose every kid got at least one rose you know so at the end of the day there are roses everywhere when i think about it they might have been different flowers our rose is expensive and we started putting the petals down the backs of people's shirts well later that day i had an appointment with a pediatrician and when she asked me to pull my pants down for the hernia check a bunch of rose petals fell out of my underoos i must have fainted because the next thing i remember is my mom and the doctor laughing hysterically and i was laying on the floor probably carnations they're cheap as frick especially in bulk and they're hardy enough to last the school day be abused by kids until you get home and your mom puts them in water without wilting so last year i had my annual pap smear and i go to a little family clinic they're all very sweet doctors and they all talk to each other about their patients well i used to have an iud i say used to because i had a rare complication from it and after a few months it went through my uterus and took a little off-road trip in my body now that was the first time this clinic had seen this complication so all of the doctors i saw wanted to ask about it and i didn't mind but back to the pap smear we were discussing the iud and my surgery from that situation while i was undressing and she performed the scraping of my insides and while my legs are wide freaking open in the stirrup she goes wow i've never seen that before it's really interesting and scary i know she was talking about the bc but i still told her while i was laughing not to say that as she is in my fanny when i was 18 i had to get an external ultrasound to see if i had polycystic ovaries the doctor who did the scan was in his 60s a very abrupt and to the point doctor he asked me questions though never once asked if i had an active private life maybe because mum was with me then said that i would need an internal ultrasound because he couldn't find my left ovary the doctor that did my internal ultrasound was a bit younger than the first one and a woman i remember being shocked at how big the probe thing was it also wouldn't fit inside and it was painful i told her that it hurt a lot and she asked me if i had ever been active in my private life i said no her demeanor changed immediately she backed off quickly checked her paperwork and said that the other doctor had put down that i was active in my private life he'd never even asked i don't know if she was embarrassed i definitely was underneath the gown i was exposed and had my legs up in stirrups but i think she was shocked that the other doctor would have made that assumption without checking i suggested that it could have been because mum had been in the room with me at the time the doctor made an angry noise then kindly asked why i i'd been sent for an internal ultrasound i said the doctor hadn't been able to find my left ovary she did an external ultrasound and found my left ovary straight away when i left extremely sore i saw her heading purposefully to the other doctor's office oh god when i moved states to live with now husband i was just starting a new job he was out of town a lot for work not too many friends tons of stress one night i was home alone and realized i started bleeding from my backside called my now in-laws who live about a mile away and asked them to take me to the i had no clue where the closest one even was it got there was admitted waiting to see the dock and realized it wasn't blood from back there i was having my period i have no clue why i thought the first scenario but when the doc came in i had to explain my misunderstanding situation after oh 25 years of menstruation at that point complete humiliation i got to live through again and again as the hospital bills came in hope for you i can totally see myself doing something similar under stress every year the doctor tells me i need to try to put on some weight during this year's checkup i broke out a yoda do or do not there is no try i totally bond and doc didn't even crack a smile before breaking into his usual spiel about mega mass 4000. i panicked when a doctor asked why our lung specimen has an incision on the third lobe accidentally stabbed during dissection spur of the moment lied about maybe arkadava died from stab wound in the lung i said he replied as an aspiring doctor next time own up to your mistake instead of making up stories to cover it up i'm so embarrassed by my action then i still cringe when i remember i hate anatomy class i have nothing but respect for this doctor although yes i would have appreciated if he didn't do it in front of our group but i know i'm wrong about lying and it's fair to get called out for that the value of credibility transcends all profession and it was reinforced to me that day had cyst on my tailbone that needed to be lanced and gauzed already an embarrassing situation for a young woman came in a couple days later for follow-up exam and the very attractive young doctor said nice to see you face to face this time i think he knew he was being cheeky pun intended but i was mortified pap smears are always the worst the absolute worst one was when i was too shy to tell my doctor that no your student cannot shadow you when i'm spread eagle he was explaining my fanny to the student for a good five minutes as though it were a diagram it's even more special when the student asked what's that thing there by the cervix mucus is normal christopher shut up i had this happen recently i didn't really mind because i've had two kids and tons of people have seen my goods as a result of it including my poor father who thought i had already given birth and burst into the room as my son was crowning it was funny though listening to the doctor use my fanny as a teaching instrument when i was a teenager i jerked off a lot i can't remember exactly the problem but at some point i worried i had damaged something i think i started getting painful urination and this weird discharge once in a while and i didn't seem as hard i ended up worrying about it enough to tell my mom who took me to the doctor primary care guy questioned me then took my dong and brutally squeezed it i'm guessing to check for discharge i then got referred to a urologist who had first harshly questioned me if i was active in my private and not to lie i was like 14 and a super awkward zit covered nerd anyway no one found anything wrong i had bad ocd as a child and used to beat off too much to get the right number of wanks in we're talking 20 plus a day here eventually my dong swelled up to the size of a large sausage and i told my mother she took me to a psychiatrist and he made me a chart we kept in the kitchen to count each time i jerked off i had to go and fill it in every time i went for a wank i was having horrible unexplained stomach pains on the cold metal table on my hands and knees somehow i didn't expect him to very forcefully jam a slippery lubed finger knuckle deep up my previously unexplored butt without even a warning i instinctively kicked him hard in the chest while emanating a bizarre gutter or growl scream mother in front of two female nurses and my overly christian mother one nurse burst out laughing and left the room being face down i can only cringe and imagine the other responses tl dr doc fingered my butt in front of my mom i have just died laughing i'm so sorry for you but heck that's the most natural response ever i was around 12 13. this elder man around 50 was checking my balls doing the whole turn-and-cough thing anyway in an attempt to make the situation less awkward i said this must be your favorite part of your job he then told me just wait till you are 40 and i have to check your prostate i started laughing then i realized i was laughing while this old guy was cupping my balls it got kinda weird when i was 18 i went to the doctor because i was having testicular pain and was concerned my regular doctor was out on vacation at the time so they scheduled me with a different doctor the day of the appointment i found out it was a girl she was a very attractive probably almost 30 she asked me to pull down my pants and i hesitated because i felt awkward she told me if i didn't feel comfortable she could get a male doctor i said it was okay so i proceed and while she feels to see if i have any lumps or anything on my balls i get the biggest boner of all time i was embarrassed and she said it was okay it happened i also noticed her wedding ring and couldn't help but wonder how she would tell her husband when getting home from work had to give a p test for a new job i was nervous not because i was on drugs or anything but because i never had to before so i show up and fill out forms and then the nurse tells me to pee in the cup and not to flush or wash my hands in the tiny bathroom i got nervous once inside and i had to poop and couldn't just pee and not poop you know so after like five minutes i opened the door and tell her what my issue was she was taken aback and was like that's fine just do your thing so i went and then peed in the cup i came out and handed it to her and i was like do you want me to flush she was just like um yes please freaking awkward zero stroke ten wouldn't do it again this happened when i was around nine years old i had hurt my neck had a big bump on the side and couldn't hold my head up straight i was in a lot of pain so i go see the doctor and he asks me how i hurt my neck so i explained that in gym class we were doing headstands and i was practicing on my bed at home i fell over sideways and hence the neck injury well the doctor started laughing then he left the room gathered up the other doctors in the practice and made me tell them how i hurt my neck then they all started laughing this was pretty traumatic for me as a small child to this day i have no clue what is funny about a child falling over and hurting his neck maybe i could see why it might be funny to other children but to doctors i don't get it that's cruel congrats doc you gave a little kid shame i went to the air for constant vomiting and stomach aches the doctor asked me when was my last period i told her that i was born with male genitals she was embarrassed i'm also there was a lump near my genitals 15 year old me was very concerned and had to go through the awkwardness of telling my mother i had a lump near my genitals and needed to see my pediatrician immediately pull down pants for doctor who sees my impeccably fresh shaven genitalia sees a lump and immediately starts to laugh i have used a cheap razor to get my nads to shimmer and glisten so spectacularly which had caused an ingrown hair and cyst to form he took a pen and drew the whole thing out for me on the paper atop the table wet warm cloth for a few days to bring it to a head and months of my mother awkwardly asking if i was sure everything was still okay down there why blee wobbly testicly westickley when the young female doctor wanted to check my cervix and blushed when she said she needed to look down there i was so embarrassed for her don't they learn the proper names for it in medical school my then boyfriend has a giant dong and he tore my fanny i went to the hospital and they asked me if we were using any toys or scissors hahaha it was incredibly embarrassing but luckily i didn't need stitches the elderly nurse recommended a ton of different lubes to me which was pretty funny i ended up in the air for a severe stomach flu came down with it in full swing at my pain management doctor couldn't leave the bathroom bc i was throwing up so hard i couldn't stop pee let alone get the 50 featuring to my car after the emps brought the stretcher to the bathroom door and took me the three miles to the hospital before i could get the ive zofran for my nausea i kept throwing up violently and simultaneously pee myself they had to change my sheets twice it was so embarrassing to a nurse not a doctor that moment when i had to explain exactly how i knew there was a cyst on my cervix i used euphemisms for a while and she kept getting more and more confused until i finally said i was masturbating and stuck my fingers up there okay she seemed shocked at the concept went to the air to have surgery on my leg prep nurse told me she was gonna have to insert a catheter so i could pee during surgery i had to ask my mom to leave the room so this other woman could shove a tube down my pee hole freaking awful went in for a regular checkup i have anxiety so i was getting really nervous just waiting around for the doctor come in the room everything goes smoothly and she asks to take my blood pressure so i remove my coat and cardigan at that moment i see that my blouse had massive under blood sweat marks that went down to the waistband of my gains another win for the under blood sweat i once thought i snapped my banjo string and i ended up having this strange foreign doctor touching my dong while he made small talk the time i asked dre for an autograph after a concert and he turned out to be exhibit i didn't feel like a xenophobic butthole at all i had just come back from camp and was brushing my hair and i felt this weird little lump on the top of my head so i showed my mom and we had no clue what it was her thought was maybe it was a tick she kept off trying to squeeze it and it hurt really bad off to the doctor we go me slightly freaking out about lyme disease nurse comes in looks at watery eyed cnk 93 takes one look at lump prods it with a finger and states that's a birthmark gynecologist every time i have the word respect to two down there right above a tiny crab tattoo c is a helluva drug nurses who has to ask the famous sexual history question what was the best answer you got when i was in nursing school we had these questionnaire things we had to ask our patients for homework most of the questions were pretty simple and basic like family medical history or what current medication they were taking etc etc etc and it was designed to get us used to asking questions and to begin to develop rapport with the patient well since this was my first year of nursing school i was still felt little awkward asking the freaking questions and was nervous when i came around to these questions when interviewing an 85 year old man whose wife was sitting right next to him the conversation went a little like this me so answer some of these next questions may be a bit personal and if you are too uncomfortable answering them you can just tell me and we can move on internal me please be uncomfortable oh please oh please oh please him sure go ahead you need to know all this stuff for your career ask away internal me dang usually there were five or six questions that i would ask but today i could only get past this one question me okay sir are you and your wife still active in your private life him looks up at me then the ceiling then to his wife and says sweetie how would you describe our private life wife without missing a beat oh probably that you jumped on a wild hog at the ripe age of 19 and are still hanging on for dear life then she leans closer to me and whispers i try to buck him off every night but he keeps hanging on then she winks i almost died of laughter best response ever life goals work at a children's hospital so usually not that important since most of my patients are in diapers we had a 14 year old with multiple stds thankfully all could be treated with some antibiotics when asking her private life history she couldn't remember all of them but there were at least nine partners the weird part was her mom wanted us to talk about medical information outside the room so her precious angel wouldn't be corrupted with all the adult talk we informed her that we already crossed that bridge i didn't really mean to post this so people could shame a girl more to talk about how our physical head is lacking in this country if she wasn't so afraid of her daughter hearing about freaking maybe she could have talked to her about how to protect herself from stds not a nurse but the best response i've heard to this question was from a quiet guy in my freshman college english class somehow our discussion on vaccines led to this topic and he told a story about his doctor asking if he was active in his private life his perfect response was bro i'm not even socially active that is an a plus answer to a question i didn't think anyone could ace i'm a hospital corpsman navy medic and i had this older retired salt dog as a patient a while ago his wife had passed away but i didn't know that when i asked if was active in his private life he said well no for two reasons i'm married and she's dead not that that would change a thing though i felt terrible and then he just started laughing and told me not to feel bad seriously caught me off guard oh crusty old bastard took care of a post-op patient who had stuck dried kidney beans up his urethra because they felt good when they swelled up i could usually pee them out but this time they got stuck had to have them surgically removed crosses legs i was around eight months pregnant and working as a nurse i had a very round beach ball-esque obviously pregnant belly going on a woman came in with a chief complaint of lower abdominal pain that came in waves and also reported experiencing a clear liquid discharge that she said felt like she peed her pants but point blank denied being pregnant she had a big sweatshirt and jacket on at first she came back to me and changed into her gown with me in the room and clearly she was visibly pregnant and my immediate suspicion was that she was in labor i point blank asked if she was pregnant and she looked at me bewildered and stated she couldn't be because she hadn't had friction over six months i asked her when the last time she was had fricked and she reported sometime in september which was sometime around my own date of conception being that she's not grasping it yet i point to her belly and then my own and say how long has your belly looked like my belly my hope is it would kind of be a look in the mirror wake up call but it didn't work she said she had just been feeling bloated over the last few months she didn't believe she was pregnant until the resident did a bedside ultrasound to find the baby's heart rate she was in labor and went upstairs to ellen d oh and she had her 10 year old daughter with her an anesthesiologist once asked me if there's a chance i could be pregnant i snorted and said i wish my surgeon cracked up my response is usually my tubes are tied i better not be pregnant or else i'm gonna be pee navy hospital corpsman here after my ship pulled into cyprus for a three-day liberty port i had a line about 10 people deep of sailors and marines in medical looking to see the dock the first two presented with the same discharge and swelling and stuff turned out to be a rather nasty clap chlamydia combo and when i dove deeper i found out they went to the same brothel a little deeper and found they even saw the same girl so four people in same deal when the next one walked in all i asked with raised eyebrows selena's opposed lady's name and with a subtle and ashamed confirmatory nod they sat on the table ready for the dreaded ball punch five stroke nine people i treated that day went to the same lady my doctor told me a story once a bit off topic here but oh well back when they first started performing vasectomies doctors had to call their patients back for standard follow-up questioning a number of weeks after the procedure he told me he got the same answers from all of the couples he interviewed any sensation change no any performance change number etc this went on and on until one day he asked a couple if there were anything different after the procedure any changes at all the wife said yes there is a huge difference since he had the surgery my doc was very surprised and when he inquired further the wife said it tastes different he said it was all he could do to keep from laughing as he made the note of seminal fluid tastes different after procedure yes it's like having a bud and a bud light my wife is a nurse and once told me about a guy who had injected creek water into his dong with an insulin needle he heard that injecting water into your dong makes it bigger and erections longer lasting so while he and his girlfriend were camping they decided to try it out with bacteria filled creek water apparently it worked just fine for the first day but after a couple days his dongs started turning colors and swelling my wife said that by the time she saw it at the hospital it looked like an eggplant with weird neon green puss coming out of the urethra that's probably where they come up with the eggplant emoji so i was taking care of a guy who had an infected wound on his dong he didn't get it checked out right away picked at it and tried to take care of it without having to see a doc because of course that's embarrassing to a lot of people finally he realized things were not going well and he ended up admitted to the hospital with a horrible wound bad enough a surgeon had to go in remove some dead tissue and we the nurses got to change the dressing twice a day this wound was the type that had to have gauze placed in the wound bed called packing it's painful and uncomfortable for patients no matter where the wound is but you can imagine how this poor fellow felt about it he told his doc he wasn't active in her private life so the first night i take care of him as i'm doing the dressing change i ask him if he has any questions eventually he'll go home and have to do that himself so while doing wound care i typically narrate what i'm doing and make sure patients can ask questions because of the nature of this wound i had pre-medicated him with some iv narcotic so he was a little loopy he tells me he just can't figure out why he has this wound so i start going through some standard questions do you have any other infected wounds are you around anyone who has infected wounds come to discover he had been regularly getting some hand jobs from a gal who was a room head and who had some open wounds on her face and forearms i told him that's where he likely got it from and he responded but i wasn't rubbing my dong on her arms or her face so i said no but she probably touched or picked at those sores before she jerked you off if she didn't was her hands well between touching her sores and giving you a hand job she spread those germs to you he had no clue he had no idea he should have included this information in his private life history and he had no practical understanding of how germs are spread but please remember the entire scene i've got this guy's dong in my gloved hand cleaning and packing this bad wound that doesn't smell great has a little yucky drainage and i'm discussing jerking off and hand jobs him down within a foot or so with his dong because his wound tunnels a bit and i've got to use a quetip and delicately stuff this gauze tape into a sensitive area i'm a moderately attractive gal about his age i wasn't embarrassed i'm a matter of fact sort of person and i wanted this guy to understand how to take care of himself and stay clean he wasn't embarrassed he really wanted to understand and he was also high on fentanyl but it was a little absurd and made me laugh in retrospect because i assume most people don't handle other people's genitals or talk about hand jobs at work when i was in year 7 probably 11 or 12 years old i had broken my foot in a way that needed a minor surgery so my cute 20-something nurse was asking me the pre-questions with my dad when she got to the personal part she asked if i wanted my dad to leave the room i said no because whatever when she asked if i was active in my private life i turned to my dad and said in a loud wisp i want her to think i'm cool i told my doctor back in high school that i wasn't active in my private life and she said and you go to high school i should play the lottery encyclopedic was the reluctant response a nurse friend once told me she received from the wife of a well-known local baptist minister she was well into her 70s and had recently celebrated her and her husband's 50th wedding anniversary when asked to clarify she admitted to being unfaithful to her husband with over 1 000 men and several hundred women her most recent escapade had been the previous day paramedic here i once asked a 20 year old female with abdominal pain emmy are you active are your private life her yes emmy any chance you're pregnant her absolutely not i could never be pregnancy emmy not all birth control is 100 effective her miners emmy what kind of birth control is it her um lesbianism i've given this response went to get birth control to deal with awful period pain and told the nurse i'm a lesbian after i was tired of saying no to every birth control pregnancy question it was silent for the next few minutes because that seemed to suffice for answering most of the questions that were left usually i just got asked if i wanted to become a part of it but i did have one girl who told me that she was technically a virgin when i raised an eyebrow and asked what her technicality was she said she'd only ride back doors with her past boyfriends then i was asked not to tell her mom and dad oh the joys of nursing my sister's roommate in college was a pastor's kid and was known around campus for only rid of backdoors so she could still be a virgin medical school in philadelphia i was in surgery clinic and going through the review of systems and like any good med student covering every system possible as i was seeing the 72 year old african-american guy any discharge from your dancer with a smile he exclaims not in about 12 years took me half a second then i cracked up and said not that kind sir but you're hilarious i had a nurse ask me if i was active in my private life i told her i was not she said she would put me down as not currently it was nice of her to be so optimistic kind of off topic and not me but here goes my friend called a nurse hotline because she was having horrible horrible menstrual cramps you must be having a miscarriage they said i really don't think so she replied are you active in your private life they asked yes yes i am she said well then you are obviously having a miscarriage they insisted i'm a lesbian replied my friend oh well would you like to speak to one of our lgbt staff it's almost every time i go to a doctor they make an unshakable judgment before i finish giving them all the relevant information went to the medical center for scabies so i really just wanted my prescription and go filled out the what protection do you use section with being four hours away from everyone willing to freak me nurse did not approve of me being a smartest when i was volunteering india for my senior capstone project in high school one of the nurses asked me to come help with a patient it was a guy around my age 1719 and his mother his mother was obviously very worried helicopter why and her son obviously had pain in the crotchula region he apparently would never answer the private life history question and the nurse bet it was because of his mother the nurse said to me quietly as we walk to the room distract the mom any way you can so we come in the room and the nurse starts to take vitals and explains that i am a volunteer pre-med student she gives me a look that i take as my cue and start giving the mom strange looks finally she notices me and asks if everything is all right the first words out of my mouth were have you gotten that mole checked out she of course starts to freak out and i say that i will take her to the dermatology clinic to set up an appointment and that the nurse will take good care of her son so he got the questions finally answered when we left apparently the kid had bad luck with the three-way and now had crabs and chlamydia this is how it went during my last physical nurse are you active in your private life me no nurse really she had a surprised look on her face and i'm not sure whether i should feel good about myself or bad about myself i gave a new gino one of her favorite responses to currently active and private life i had recently started seeing someone so we weren't quite there yet so i said outlook favorable not a nurse but i work in a hospital and this story was too great to pass up telling so i watch cardiac monitors for a living we had this 18 21 years old female don't remember exactly age but she was in for asthma problems and we also watch oh too so apparently this girl was from a very religious family and told the nurses and doctors that no she was not active in her private life and never has been but she was going to a local college and was brought in by who we were told was her cousin she gets admitted about 230 in the morning her heart rate goes up to like the 150 s 160 s and her o2 is at like 85 that's really bad for anyone when they are supposed to be asleep and at rest so i get up and run to go check on the patient turns out her cousin stayed the night so here i come bursting into this room with like two nurses while this girl is like eyeballs deep on her cousin's dong and when the door bursts open and the lights go on he got startled jumped forward and causes her to immediately vomit all over him i turn to the nurses and say well at least it wasn't a cardiac event and leave so i could fall to the floor laughing and i believe that she checked out ama after that sounds like it was a cardiac event a good bj comes from the heart not a nurse but i was in the room when they asked my grandma if she was or have ever been violated her reply no but it sounds like a lot of fun she passed the next day in surgery rip granny that was a roller coaster ride of emotions r.i.p your granny too not a nurse but i live in an area where a lot of youth get stds and wanted pregnancies at a very young age to the point where several nurses awkwardly high-fived me in the hallway for not being active in their private lives because my nurse told all of the other nurses right after she stepped out of the room in med school when we were learning to do histories we were required to ask and document all questions including private life history this isn't that crazy but there was a normal middle-aged lady that came in and near the beginning said she'd been married 18 years when we got to the private life history part i asked if she was active yes with men or women both and how men are partners in the past year 11 okay then open-minded i see swinger clubs and these kind of events are all filled with middle-aged couples looking to spice up their private life which is understandable i guess this is one of my favorite least favorite scenarios me when was your last menstrual period under hpt uh about a month ago me okay any chance you could be pregnant pt extremely uncomfortable squirming and looking sideways at parent who is in the room with their muam parent what pt number parent what me ooh okay we'll do a test it's always a bummer when it comes out positive young girl comes in for a pregnancy test was he wearing protection he your partner oh no i had fricked a girl physical had failed in a new direction today ladies and gents i recently told my doctor i've been sleeping with the same man for a long time but he's been sleeping with everyone else so i guess i'm a respite proxy she gave me lots of tests i am a student nurse and a pharmacy technician so i have had some pretty interesting conversations but one that i will never forget is where i was talking to a customer who was planning on buying a plan b pill me okay have you taken one of these before her number me well you are probably gonna be pretty nauseated but you have to keep it down because you cannot take another one of you throw it up her okay me total is around fifty dollars huh oh my god this stuff is so expensive me she seemed around my age and had a really open personality so i figured i could joke about yeah it sucks that is why i always tell my friends that condoms are cheaper her we did use a condom me slightly confused if you do not mind me asking why is it that you are taking a plan b her because proceeds to explain with hand motion and sound effect because the condom got sucked up me huh me were you able to get it out her yeah but it now rather safe than sorry me fair enough and the transaction proceeded like normal from there not in nursing did not take a history of private life but maybe this counts i worked in an infertility clinic we had a young couple who came to the clinic to get pregnant we could not find a cause for their infertility both were young and in textbook perfect health we brought them in to give them the test results all infertility investigations were normal and to give them the treatment plan but the nurse saw them first and came out with an odd look she said just trust me on this but you need to go tell them about the birds and the bees i was all wtf and she said it's just a gut feeling i have so i did i prefaced my talk by saying i'm going to tell you some information please save your questions till i'm done then i gave them detailed and explicit instructions on what they needed to do to do it both looked shocked at first then deeply embarrassed neither made my eye and both left the clinic without another word next visit pregnant i do not know what they were doing to this day but all's well that ends well this all happened back in the 80s and since then i've switched careers so no follow-up sorry did not know this was in catch-22 as i haven't read the book i just thought it was one of the odd occurrences that i've encountered over the years so that's what it's for and that so cool ended up helping a high school wrestling team while doing surveys during medical audits i had to ask a kid have you had more than one intimate partner he responded yeah twice wait you meant at the same time right i had to resist the urge to high five this is gold as a student i was working in a rural underserved community hospital and had a 13 year patient coming with her mom for ladybit smell which she said people noticed at school i then proceeded to ask about carnal hx patient gave me permission to ask in front of parent i asked if she was active in her private life and she said number well with my hair brush mom seemed to have been well aware of this and then began describing her daughter's ladybit smell as well as discharge in great detail read the first sentence as undeserved community hospital i was like dang how terrible are these people not to deserve a hospital lol if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: OnTap Studios

Views: 204,710

Rating: 4.7454724 out of 5

Keywords: doctors, nurses, doctor stories, hospital, hospital story, hospital stories, hospital storytime, hospital stories scary, medical, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, sub, reddit cringe, memes, comment awards, dankify, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, chill, story, stories, reddit on tap

Id: CffdvvOBp-M

Length: 154min 5sec (9245 seconds)

Published: Sat Dec 05 2020