Hawaii Sweats | TigerBelly 211

[Music] [Music] let's just start Allah Allah Aloha welcome back to me and good to see you as well good to see you it's good to see George good to see my girlfriend kalila I've been gone again for a while let's recap dad died didn't cry yet well still you know thinking about I don't know it's weird I'm like I can feel it in my chest and in my heart I'm just just constantly and I talked to my brother's that my brother at night I go um he depressed you know go you have never felt this kind of depression before it really is especially when you haven't grieved I guess so I'm just kind of walking around like a zombie but you know what it's you know what I was driving here I thought to myself I can't wait to see my brothers my brother George and my brother Gilbert my good friends because you know what I'm gone I just can feel the foundation of the house being built I can feel that you guys are doing hard work and being trustworthy and keeping all our money and stuff and intact and I think about my girlfriend kalila and I go wow what a lovely lovely lovely lovely lovely you know and so it's great but anyway welcome good to see you baby I love all of you guys why did you say I'm like scared why did you you've already been trying to like pick fights like on the way over here with a with the music all right what was the challenge well the challenge is this you're the tyrant when it got tyrant I just go by the rules of life what are the I never get to play what I want but you drive then yeah you know what even when I Drive your ass three hours I don't get it play a single song no when you drive I do Oh [ __ ] Bobby one time I drove us all the way to like like oh hi someplace really far like three hours and you sat back asleep and you still would [ __ ] when I would try to put my own music on Jaya Kui [ __ ] the guy over here great I loved it mirrors the mirrors the cover of the yeah so I thought listen that the other one speck I didn't like it that much the deep-voiced one no the first one was Orville Peck overpacked that kind of the rodeo he's so good he's the king though and what's the third song it um you play member okay you're silent face by new order oh that's a good one that's a good one let me ask you something I know that I know you feel any program in this part out because you're that way and I say that in the in a positive way not in a negative way what that way in in terms of your dynamic you know in like a nerd way you know no no like at a science fair like at a science fair when you see the guy the king of science fair yeah you're not the king of it you didn't win anything you just entered this iron you entered it participant you haven't won anything yet because your your way your volcano your the volcano that you built out of clay who's first boots hacky do something different do you like a little project about the singularity or about our oceans being the plastics you can fix those things okay but I wanted to say um I love you I love you you your neck looks like you that why for you yeah I love you do you know who I love the most um right now I love you the moss baby of course a second you're never but second and I've been cuz I've been doing Magnum PI's I know you love I know you love the most but I love Jay Hernandez the most there it is you know the yesterday I was in a scene with him I was in the back of are his must and whatever the Magnum drives yeah and I was mesmerizing his freckles on the back of his neck memorizing you were mesmerizing no I was memorized memorizing and mesmerizing okay oh you're okay hey skinned Jay Hernandez the skin is like the purest what's that drink with that cinnamon drink that they have oh my gosh the color of pure horchata only the purest specks are the cinnamon yeah why it is and he smells like that he smells like you know what he smells like when I see a skin and it's in his body if I gave him a brand-new guitar he would go Spanish guitar yeah you another thing like that right and then all of a sudden you would have the thing what's that thing with its napkin with the bowl you know I don't know how that wasn't note muy noses anemic but it's easy in Spain no he's Mexican oh I really like him I met his wife I don't think I didn't meet his kids I'm so tell us about how your new best friend almost poison he almost killed you by poisoning wait whoa okay I can't talk about that because he doesn't know about it he doesn't know about it so I kept there well you know what here how about this I didn't know if it was from him or not you weren't sure I have a good feeling so I'm so she gave you I know but he so he goes so I'm friends with I love everyone on the show all right but my scenes are always with Magnum and that girl Purdy she's great Hagen she plays Higgins in it I love her and we were at she might see me do his house with Amy Hill lives are to love her you know Amy she's the best so they all live in this beautiful like high-rise right and they had this like Center where people lounge around this pool the pool has it's clear so that you can see that the street so it's like on you know on a 20th floor but if you're in the pool if you look down on the ground it's the street so it's scary Oh see it's see-through yeah it's see-through so um give they're having barbecue and whatnot and um I go I just kind of yelled out I shouldn't have yelled it up by hungry not hunger no I just said so maybe I said that yeah I just said on go you're right and Jay goes I'm a good whatever I could make it hamburger yeah so he stands up he makes me a hamburger and just gives it to me now that you know he's just you know he's the star of the show I respect Ryan I have to eat it so I bit into it and then it was very good but then I said wow this is the best hamburger I've ever had I don't know why I said that but as soon as I said that my stomach started gurgling and I farted I don't know if I would ask it's pretty fast maybe was something that ate before it that was pushing out yeah but I remember it not mine I had diarrhea it must have been something before it maybe was something before that so that's why I'm not blaming the hamburger yeah but I did have diarrhea and what lie did you come up with amber what is it you told him you cuz he suddenly left without saying goodbye and then you ate everyone you were like I had a panic attack from the height of the pool that's right so the pool that's why I mentioned the pool about the clue so he had mentioned that and I go I have to I didn't say goodbye anybody I just left because I diarrhea yeah and I blamed it later on the pool but I think it was the hamburger maybe before that but Jay I love your hamburgers I'll eat another one was the worst burning sensation I've ever had and then after that he calls me he's like I'm really unwell I haven't you know I he never throws up I've never seen him throw up he was actually throwing up yeah so right before he goes to buddy's like you know I'm just gonna I'm curled up in bed I'm gonna go to sleep I said okay I'm gonna go to sleep good night we said good night this was about 9:00 p.m. right the next day I try to get ahold of him and I don't hear anything 6:00 p.m. rolls along I'm like oh yeah yeah yeah it's 6:00 p.m. his time oh yeah yeah yeah I remember now what happened was what happened was that night right I went and bought I went to ABC which is kind of their 7-eleven but it's great in fact I got you gifts [ __ ] spam musubi I love ABS like mints I love ABC store yeah I got you get some mints here you go I'm nervous to open it no just mints okay thank you a package of mints Bobby this is one of my favorite gifts what may show the audience yeah no it's as they're all the same I think these are Donald Trump mints that I buy at ABC it's great it's a great minutes what were the best mints ever made it's the best like the poor manufacturers of that it's probably Brooklyn New York it's made in the US I was I was hoping it was made in China but the tin is made in China the tins made in China I want to say so then eight o'clock rolls along his time and he still nowhere to be found no and no one's heard from I'm call I've called the front desk to contact his hotel room to see if the ring will be loud enough because at this point I've I think he's dead oh wow okay so I went and bought these wax earplugs the kinds that are you kind of stick it out you know and you perform it into your ears yeah yeah I've stuck it deep into my ears and then I have an eye thing one of those fancy eye thing I'm asked yeah right so I have that and that and then I took a little too much like melatonin gummy is I think melatonin gummies and like this kind of stuff and then some and I stick it in there and I went to sleep you know I slept for like 16 hours or something well I couldn't wake up and the phone was ringing because she can contacted security no I told security [ __ ] do a welfare check yeah yeah so they were calling and then all of a sudden I pick hear it through the thing and I picked it up there good sir are you okay your family your family's concerned and I go what family family your wife and your kids they're right when you wake up like that you go what happened maybe I did too I don't know yeah but then she go in then she and then you know I called her and she gets worried yeah it was a delicious hamburger man the best I love you man Jay he's all right I like but you know what dude you know when I'm on that thing I'm when I'm working I'm there for so long I just get lost cuz you go to you go to your açaí places and then you know you [ __ ] around with the locals the guys what do you do I just like do tricks I'll squeeze her ass and walk run away or laughing or whatever you know get out why why the [ __ ] did you tell me my tit was out the whole time I told you it was don't roll the path your titty is delicious babe everyone needs to know we have to trust the process yeah you yeah so here's another thing that I did what I did was well what I did was I I would i watch well here's okay here's the thing I want to watch is the Joker that looks good but it's not just that it won the Venice Film Festival thing award a grand jury eight minute standing ovation do I've never stood for eight minutes for anything you know I'm legal if I had to do like a run you're you go eight minutes five seven minutes sit down you go seven minutes I'll sit down because to stand for eight minutes to applaud it must be that good and then the reviews have been there been some negative ones but mostly it's because it's so dark mm-hmm and depressing and you know you know some white people my people get sensitive don't know when white people go dark they go to darkest Yeah right but when they're liberal and they're sensitive they get really you know they get you know so the reviews have been that like that but the moat I'm really liking your review though right now we okay you're not sensitive George is less sensitive than me no no but just in general why people are sensitive now yeah we're all sensitive right you know I apologize to the people waiting to be offended hey guys starting to wrap up here isn't a ship station when you're selling online your orders out can be a real pain I'm consuming expensive yeah so many carriers to choose from how do you know you're making the right best choice that's why you need ship station calm it's the fastest easiest and most affordable way to manage the ship your order then can I say said this this is a side note that we use all of our products on a daily basis and we believe in them tell them more about the ship station no matter what no matter where you're selling Amazon SEO or your own website or like tiger belly like how we use our own website it brings your all your orders to one simple interface so making them really easy to manage on any device so I can do it on my phone click click click and I just made a lot of money so and right now Tiger buddy listeners can try ship station free for 60 days when use the promo code belly there's absolutely no risk you can start your free trial without even entering your credit card info just visit ship station dot-com click on the microphone at the top of the homepage and type in belly that ship station comm then enter the promo code belly ship station comm belly ache ship Hannon happen if you find $100 on the street guys would you pick it up or keep walking of course you take the money am I not right just all right so why would you keep picking winners and not betting on them my mom says you have to step on it first before you pick up the bill or else it's bad luck and you're gonna lose double the amount that's why I go to bookie my bookie doc that's why I go to my bookie it's fast it's easy and they pay you when you freaking win let's face it yeah where your betting is just as important as you betting on that telling you guys you supported the bet right yeah vetting man yeah yeah be a penny man make some money with my bookie yeah guys and to do it use promo code belly to activate the offer that's the promo code belly visit my bookie dot AG today you play you'll win you get paid like UFC what do you think well you probably do like what I like fight so I do like boxing UFC I do books a book you bet on books I really bought season just started that's right right the Miami Dolphins killing it wow you actually know it you got yeah they're doing it really real who's your favorite team Miami Dolphins cuz they're really winning in the in a losing kind of a way that's why I love football wait go do it enjoy the bookie enjoy the rest of this is our favorite like I was giving a review white paint you know how I posted while you were asleep I posted a video of you sucking Don hos dick statue of Don hos dick first of all he died way before I could meet him oh the statue I've stuck his dick okay yeah real not real dick though so this clue I know from Hawaii immediately texted me here I'll show you what she's saying that it's like that's our God this is what works me where I'm like oh really come on a six second video of Bobby blowing like an inconspicuous statue that no one give me the message is he making me so angry give me the message he died tragically and his daughter killed himself immediately after the rest of his kids are still alive just FYI I was like Bobby was honey bubbles so tiny bubbles tiny bubbles the man the myth right the legend he died his daughter killed himself tragically it is tragic yeah you know what this my dad just died too it's tragic that's life he okay with someone I'll suck the dick I'm gonna suck down you know what I'm gonna go back to a statue yeah and eat his [ __ ] eat the statue [ __ ] my point was this girl is Asian oh no I'm sorry I'm sorry you know we apologize yeah I get it I'm saying listen lady listen I don't you know here's what it is when I was in Thailand it is what it is and this is what it is mm-hmm it is it is what it is let me tell you something all right that's what I say a lot and people point it out it makes me angry because this is the way I [ __ ] talk and you can make meme then you can [ __ ] do all kinds of trickery out there to force me not to do these podcasts but you know what I am gonna just say whatever is on my mind and I just say things okay and if you don't like it just just listen we need you we really need you we're nothing without you I'm sorry I won't say it again but my point is is this the thing is is this I love it all the hits the hits daddy you just got it daddy at least you didn't say rock and roll go get him go get him god oh my god the hits you know that last week when I did it at podcast would sense you know he called me a dumb [ __ ] oh I'm sorry that guy's no like up a boy back nothing listen listen listen I said I just listen George just listen for a second mm-hmm when I met you I got this [ __ ] nerd I cannot do this make or thing I can't run into that guy again then like a month later yeah like him he's pretty cool he's written to me a lot it's a little scary but you know what I'll give him a shot six months later he's working for me we're working together we're doing stumps - videos years later you know what I like this guy trust him he's doing my podcast he really believes in me and he's really I trust him with the money and all the little details about our organization if you ever [ __ ] call her to that again I'll rip your eyes out okay hey Zeus Trejo is that his guy you love him he I love that guy he really is because he's been calling me a lot lately about asking how I am which you don't get a lot of people doing even my mom and brother haven't called called me in that way I know but no she has no no she didn't know she no my mom's been great but somebody that I don't know that well he used to open for me he's a comic for him to go hey dude I just want to see how you were you know is so nice hey Suz Trejo is gonna cut above I know because he is he hasn't lost his humanity no matter how big that guy is that guy will never change yeah never he'll never change he's going to be a darling and a sweetheart and a good man for the rest of his life yeah he is a good guy also you know it makes me really optimistic and it feels warm for guys like Andrew Santino and Eric Griffin and these types of guys to fill in for me when I'm not when things are tragic or when I'm busy it really feels like I have real allies for the first time in this business business a lot of times you you get set up to compete with people and you're so competitive with like other Asians and whatever in the beginning it was very competitive and I don't think I really liked anybody you you pretend you would hang out and do gigs with people but I really love some of the people in my life I really do I love these new friends that I have I love this new journey that I'm on it's great but you know be honest with me am i a little scattered right now George be completely honest with me only just before we've paused but others are like the Oh soldier last two minutes I've been clear everything before that was the law was scatterbrained no no the no the first like 20 minutes was great yes just a little scattered for like two minutes then this great also which she's a liar no okay good good is she at times babies whoa whoa whoa whoa hey whoa oh why did you call her that they'll be honest with me because I I well I deserve that because I tried to humiliate him for buying followers on Instagram oh yeah I've got that swipe up feature so I can help out the podcast you know last week we got 17 views because through my swipe up 17 extra Bobby's phase right now so so I'm knew that to be true yeah so I'm just trying to help as much as I can Aloha thanks to the 17 people who are Thank You 7 scram thank you watch the video but you know what you know what guys I don't want to do this anyway if I have to I just want to be free be free that's all I do respect the fact that you've you've only in 210 episodes you've only plugged make four episodes that's true I do sort of respect that about you you're not needy in that regard but look at our following he does even do it well you you know a lot of that has to do with I mean it is partly laziness and it's partly you know this aloof thing I don't think I'm aware of my aloofness when I'm doing it I know right when I'm acting like I don't know what I'm doing I dunno yeah right but it's like based on there is a little bit of like laziness but a lot of it has to do with my attitude or whatever but it is something that I'm aware of I'm aware of everything that I do mm-hmm it's mentally even when I react to situations that I'm being overdramatic or acting crazy I'm well aware of what I'm doing and I'm being perceived I just can't help it mm-hmm you know but I love literally everyone and also can I say this too it's a thought that I've had in Hawaii by me because I was in Hawaii a lot by myself there was four days in a row where I didn't see anybody it's not a good thing for you it's great okay because what I do is I'll walk down the beach where where my little eye ear pods I love their parents by the way air pods yeah and I'll be listening to like you know music and you know it's weird in Hawaii nobody really knows who I am if I go to downtown I met a really cool ramen restaurant the cook will go Tiger belly Oh with somebody right yeah but where I'm at my hotel it's all tourism so no one knows who the [ __ ] are you I don't get like Bobbie Lee right so everyone leaves me alone it's like I'm normal guy and you know what I like it I really do I like just being with regular people hanging out did you live in Hawaii I think I will Wow I will I hate that hotel won't be that house I mean it's it's it's okay but I really charge me double one time yeah double and a half of like I came home was like what about a $3,000 pill dream I also believe Tiger belly that there's gonna be something that's gonna bring me there in more of a permanent basis I don't know what exact exactly it's gonna be and I see that you guys are gonna be there too and number two we got um some offers from GFL already amazing Calgary maybe Vancouver we're working on all that kind of stuff so we got to get this back going I'm in town for a while we're gonna once we get the studio back up we have so many big people that want to do it they do are you smiling like that my fault I when I go to town I expect the team to do I'm not there so I expect my team where you to get you everything's done sound panels are done the table is done from Johnny you see the customer and but it's your other team yeah yeah I know you can't I don't know them I can't I did nothing I can do about that I'll work on it well when I'm here I'm here okay so um what's it feel like to be away from me for 16 days that was a long time I'm it's not it's not honestly it's not you it's in in any other circumstance it would have been like really debt but it was my dad you know I mean so going going away normally I miss you and I wish you know but because my dad died you know that's the forefront of yours that's in the forefront like he's not here I was consuming so every day is that like calling my brother and going are you depressed he's like yeah I can't you know it's like it's weird I can't explain it so it's a blur yeah and you know what's sad about it is my poor mother you know my mom would text me once a month we're fine how are you she texts me every day me sometimes five huntoday about little things he's doing like you know I went outside then I went to the store I came home I don't know I don't know what else to do you know and there is a sense of sadness you know just you know when he died I was like relieved that she wanted to stay she goes I want to stay in this house in Phoenix and they gave me a relief because of the fact that I then I didn't have to go I had to buy cuz in my head is like how am i what is she gonna do I had to get a place in California she did she have friends how do how I you know but that wasn't in play cuz she told me she didn't want that stuff mm-hmm but now I'm thinking maybe she does need to get closer to us I think doesn't know how to say it she doesn't know how to say it and she's in she can feel it like cuz my dad's not around so she's constantly alone looking for I can't imagine what that's like I know like her dream but way before your dad passed we we were going through like Zillow and redfin and we were looking at like homes in San Diego cuz that's where her sister yeah she doesn't want to be there she doesn't know I don't know what she wants I think she wants to be around us to be honest with you and I can't live in the same house as her but I'll figure it out if that needs to be the case yeah but so you know you know that's that you know I'm sorry the that this is the way these podcasts are going they're not funny but I can't help it I cannot fake it this is what I'm going through and I appreciate everybody I really do but this is just the way it is I mean it'll change soon when we maybe when we get our new facility and I get all the new people in which is what I want there's so many people jessimae Peluso everybody wants to beep I think that everyone can appreciate the fact that we're sort of in limbo right now ok we've never been this super perfect overly produced you know thing that's what's like we we have some of us get sick some of our family members ghetto life happens yeah it's just what happens it's like I don't think anyone's faulting you or faulting anymore you know who else has been sweet Theo yovan just will randomly text me I love you or I miss you sorry to interrupt but we have another favorite spawn you guys when I come home from a long day of doing nothing mm-hmm working really hard at doing nothing yeah I get and I get hungry when I come home all right with that that blue apron box is a sign of America to me wow it's a sign of hard work mm-hmm it's a sign of putting blood sweat and tears into whatever my life is and then knowing that I need fuel I need fuel to keep going and when I come home and I need the fuel and I see the blue apron box I know that there's a delicious meal it's so close in its it's not that huh it's not that hard to get that in your belly all you have to do is order it pick out your ingredients and your recipes it's easy to make even me as a doofus can make them and when I get the nutrients and in the delicious food in my body that gives me more ascent of to go out there to do more nothing America to start making delicious brag worthy meals at home without the hassle tribe blue apron check out this week's menu and get $60 off when you visit blue apron dot-com slash belly that's blue apron slash belly blue apron a better way to cook that's great joy the rest of the show it goes along and when I hear nothing from you to you and you know Gilbert no tax no how are you sorry did you wish everything he doesn't deserve it because he doesn't really love me cuz you would think that he would text me and go how are you you either man right I know your every door to every door every door you open and closes right in your [ __ ] face huh Rick cops I went to New York over yeah yeah let's talk about hers she first of all she did this Madonna thing with her hand gave it to me right that's exactly what she wanted to it's exactly what she wants Madonna what's up yeah I mean don't do a claw like that Clive I want to show what is this though so we had a Monday night before the wedding yeah and basically to get our hands tat henna right hand on our hands and there were two ladies there and I was sort of trying to like get out of there quickly so I think I chose the wrong lady and I pretty sure shoes have blind can you sir can you show us what you wanted can can will they be able to see it was Bobby seeing it Bobby I've seen it yeah okay before and after I gave her a picture and I was like this is what I want can you do it she's like oh yeah money easy I was like woah she's really confident in her skill and after that because my is she wrapped it up in like this like bandage thing so I could move around and not hit it and then when I unwrapped the bandage later on that night in my small little New York apartment bedroom yeah I couldn't breathe like I was laughing so hard because I was in stitches the henna is for human beings not the creature from shape of water because that's what your hands see wet well they weren't wet when she was doing them and I think they sweat ass and I know I was part of the bridal party yeah and so the next day everyone's henna was beautiful and I looked like I had just dragged my knuckles and dog today yeah I just was like walking like this on dog shaper water so embarrassing also just gonna throw this out there in case you guys get married yeah who's gonna get you and your girl who's gonna get married I think George will probably get married probably first if you get married before us you can you're out do not get married and then when you propose tell me first can I say this so yeah it doesn't matter because you're just a beautiful woman what do you mean I'm a Hannah you me know everything about you you're just beautiful I've been looking at you all day today going what a beautiful woman she is thank you that's so nice because I looked at you today and what did I say you're the ugliest or something I've ever seen or something something like something very brutal I said [ __ ] I hate your face you love that you know it made you happy it does make me happy because I'm not used to him without a mustache I hadn't seen him in 16 days he comes home without a mustache and I just get creeped out oh I wasn't gonna say this but say it I think I have don't get angry baby yeah but I think I have I'm not kidding you I think I have some sort of condition my penis smells oh don't get mad I don't know what it is but I'll everyone swear I'll touch the head of my penis yeah it'll smell it and there's something going on is it not just regular old dick it's not regular dick dick there's something going on it's not fungus or anything like that is it I think I think the pee has a smell to it it's affecting the dick maybe you what what weight like asparagus kind of pea or it could be that is the tip maybe it's too much acai no it's like healthy I don't know I don't know maybe the acai is [ __ ] it without my P but it smells let me smell it right now like oh my god nothing nothing nothing nothing this is what I am gonna be real with you I'm gonna have a real moment with you you can't keep doing that you can't keep eating your boogers and bragging about how your dick smells yeah at the end of the day you and I in order to get over our slump yeah you have I take good care of myself that's what I said that's why I said I called you and I said I want to get the machine but you're gonna get the I don't care how much how thick you get if your dick smells I don't want none of it I don't like my dick smells because of my diet I think what's it smell like like rot you would smell like youdescribe least oh my god likewise wet there we go Hawaii sweat a little bit maybe yeah Hawaii sweat that is good album dude that's a good wise way why you sweat write that down in fact you and I are gonna come with a but with a bunch of little sayings like that but like Hawaii so I I know that this is probably everywhere in the United States in the world but this is particularly creepy because this girl was living next to us down the hall for a couple of months and she's our neighbors she's our neighbor let a girl sublet good one who's the neighborhood right do we know the neighbor we know but don't say your name I know but who is it okay yeah Norah yeah I love her okay you mouth it okay is matter and so um yesterday she told me she's like my the girl I [ __ ] let sublet my place took off with a thousand dollars worth of my clothing she took the car she like basically robbed her right and but she left this girl's like completely out of her [ __ ] mind she left her diary there and some [ __ ] vials of like HGH CG it's like a pregnancy who are ma she was like shooting up I think she may be she was either gonna donate her eggs or I don't know what [ __ ] she was doing okay anyways but can I read you what's in her [ __ ] diary this is everyday this is this is basically September 12 was the good stuff tell me if you think this this was this person was living down the hall from us how scary is this I am a hundred pounds I am beautiful I have long beautiful blonde hair have white teeth I have three million dollars by January 2019 I have 10 million followers on Instagram she doesn't she has like 30 I am a dirty yeah I am an NYC in Paris Fashion Week I am a famous actress I am famous I have amazing designer clothes I travel the world I am at all let me say again um I have anyways next day next diary entry this is a different day I am a hundred pounds I am a famous actress no I am famous I have ten million dollars in my bank is doing yeah I know what she's doing yeah I know but this is this is beyond that hold on this is her manifesting she's read some sort of blog well if you write this every day what happened it's gonna happen I am at camp something with Kanye West Kim Kardashian Natalie Halcro Olivia person I have an artist pass I am obsessed with me my journal I'm on a [ __ ] unicorn with Rowdy Roddy Piper I come up with I mean a [ __ ] mining camp with [ __ ] Macaulay Culkin and you know Mike Tyson Don Ho yeah Don Ho I'm his shoulder angel I star in a movie with Ryan Gosling I thought oh she's doing doing her own sick way of daily affirmations right but also she's also just robbed our neighbors that's true okay so she's already that's true but then I checked her Instagram dollars yeah I checked her in yes and she has like she's nowhere she's not in the Soho House she's nowhere any but she tags those places like she's there yeah I've done the same thing what is this Soho that been there oh you're right she's crazy did that not [ __ ] she's crazy by Robyn but the are affirmations parts I've done that yeah because you know we've you know oh yeah that gave me a flashback I think in the early days I did that for Tiger belly like we'll have a hundred thousand followers we'll get a million monthly views on YouTube or there I know right after the I have an artist pass interesting me like I want it best friends with Kim Kardashian but let's put her on blast what's her name god I want to say it so bad cuz she robbed my friend she can't more than 30 followers on Instagram it'd be all we'd be getting here closer to where to her goals yes 30 minutes I really want out her this stupid stupid [ __ ] and then you know what she said cuz my my friend who was Rob said I'm gonna expose you I'm gonna [ __ ] put this out like your diary and she was like I'm gonna sue you if you do that I'm gonna press charges like you just robbed me this girl's nuts yeah she's absolutely out of her goddamn mind but apparently Bobby is so used to this um la behavior that this is normal no when you said when you're talking about her it just made me realize what kind of people are we what is this what are we doing here what do you mean but what is like what you know what you're on you know when you're on set where I you see all these we had these party scenes yeah you know and you see all these like extras and they're not they just don't want to be extra you could because you talk to your why you're just around people and people have these gigantic dreams and this and that and it's like all revolves around being famous and making money and all that kind of stuff and it's a sickness don't you think it's a sickness yeah hashtags that like I think some people idolize that yeah yeah people analyze it really idolized it yeah but at the end of the day all it is is a job this is working mm-hmm but you know that's why it was so refreshing to be in New York I'm sure in New York has its own you know you know set of people just like this Wall Street it does feel a little different and I do find even though I don't have eyes for anybody else babe I do find that men and women generally more attractive there because you're at a Indian wedding dude that Indian wedding was amazing I'll say no more because Bobby looks like he's falling that's not what it is because I know that you're into New York Indian guys you know what I write not these ones no no with those ones that's what I'm saying is all these little pungent puns he's putting ones you're out there in the New York with the fancy one these are all family watch yourself Watchers they're all family men they're all doctors every last person in there was a doctor they're all family honestly if you said if you said to me I blew an Indian guy in New York I wouldn't break up with you oh my god Bobby I'd break up with me I just sent you out there very you Incept it her very good like in fact that's that line it was so good we can close out on that what are we doing that time that joke was so good we can close out what is it probably where 49 that it's already at 48 703 worse I timed it wrong you shoulda killed it you could have killed it with that say it again what was it wait wait wait was I old hope I blew it anyway I would kill myself you would back up with it it would not break up with her Bobby I'd break up with me yeah that joke on helpful advice with Bobby great and kalila firstly my condolences Bobby about your father wait for him I've never lost anyone that close to me but I have had my Gamecube crash before I could save my progress very funny that is tragic [Music] it's happened to me before oh dude five hours especially the controls because the intro is so long so we get it bro we get it man same thing so I'm looking for some suggestions on how to manage my oMG oversized male genitalia I recently started attending acting classes and I am fearful that one day I'm gonna pop a boner onstage I won't be able to hide my seven and a half inch long five inch girth manhood dare say it's I even get a little woozy due to the sudden relocation of my sanju in fluid I cannot think of a better group of people to ask advice from what should I do so he basically has a cement block for a penis except it's not very long it's just thick as [ __ ] five inches which is the wood the key I heard to unlock is that the length it's the thickness so that he's killing it yeah what do you mean like not everybody every all the girls I've talked to him since he knew and I were just talking about this last week that redheaded freak has a [ __ ] white freckle e ugly pale translucent piece of [ __ ] dick he said it was long it's long it's a nude it's pink hints of pink a lot of purple veins but it's generally just kind of translucent yeah you know it's like you know it's not good it sucks hey but they can do all the dick is like that that's [ __ ] Eric Griffin his is not is this translucent it's not just translucent it's like balls a black flash jammed together with a bear your man and a little bit of sickle you know in there thank you guys thank you for us thank you for filling in buddy thank you so much thank you thank you I love you hey guys we have another sponsor question yes which of my online searches does the government have a right to know about I would say 0 of them I love it I would love to that know the answer of that quite none of the above that's what I was gonna say as well now if you have expressed VPN mm-hmm the answer is none of the above true without express VPNs protection though hackers government's ad companies and ISPs all have full access to your data gross I don't want them using my web history or video searches against me that's why I use expressvpn every time I go online what kind of searches will be fine oh my god like a lot of like the most is very tender question I enjoy series because I do a lot of stalking of people issues she's very good and I also do a lot of today I do a lot of earwax videos oh and a lot of searches for the new mosquito disease no no the pneuma there's a new mosquito bit disease a lot of that and a lot of how do you know how to say the weird one with expressvpn you're safe see let's say guys protect your online activity today and find out how you can get three months free at Express oh my god three months free are you crazy not one not two but three expressvpn DICOM slash belly that's exp ress VPN com slash belly for three months free with a one-year package visit expressvpn dot-com slash belly to learn more by the way this is gonna be my last show ever by the time [Applause] all right so I just want to say this for real is if you look at the the the history of comedy and you look at you know moments and and and who is gonna impact the culture and what not there's only a couple of guys out there and you know you could say what you want about me but I know everybody I'm not great I'm not great comic I'm okay I could kill I've been known but Bill Billy is a special act because he's one of those guys that if he performs every one every comic will pour into the room to see what he's saying because he's just one of those voices now that's very relevant and he's one of the best comics in of our generation you have Chappelle he's one of them as well but Billy's got to be included in that he's one of the best and obviously Netflix is a very special place and even though they don't like me they love they love Billy and they love the best they left Chappell they love all the greats except me but it's fine and maybe I'm not good good but you know it's really good Billy burger and the special paper tiger not only that why special is because also it's done in London mm-hmm and it's done by Mike binder you don't know who my binder is but my binder is a 1970s 1980s comedy store legend Mike binder was and he's a friend of mine god bless you but please watch a paper tiger on Netflix he's one of the greatest comics of our generation and I love him bye enjoy the rest of the show but um no but this guy um but to hear hey guy hey guy yeah you have a thick dick it's nice you've proposed you look at it in the mirror and you go oh the life is gonna be good for me but eventually you're gonna meet one person and they're gonna be tired of your dick one day and you got to figure something else out hop in a boner during [ __ ] public is a [ __ ] quickly pop a boner I have I have a friend it was in need of someone helpful advice what is it so good do another one that was chilly recently asked me if and I need to get a survey from the three men in the room yep would it bother you if you were having sex with a woman and you were you had good visibility of her anus at the time while you're [ __ ] her and you see that she has a prolapsed hemorrhoid hanging I don't know that looks like a tail it looks like a hemorrhoid like a little ball a meatball like hanging out of her butt like because it's a it's I'll tell her I know but would that turn you off is it something that would stop you from seeing her oh here's what I would do I would come you have to come out of I would come and I hope you wouldn't stop and pretend not that I didn't see it yeah yeah and and then she's gonna go you gonna sleep over I could be like no so it does turn you off then turned off being over no and then she calls me the next day I don't text her back no and then years go by so that's what you're out you have a little bump up yeah what is it give me that that's what the pro let prolapsed a little ball oh my God look at this one so you'd stay now baby no doubt you're still out let me see can I see just so I have that let me see oh I would I would be more concerned I would you more concerned for I'd be concerned for her yeah what did you google would you George if you really liked her she was somebody you've been speaking to you really enjoy her sexually but you just happened to see a meatball like you know hanging from her but what if she had like a little thing sticking out of her pot and then you blew it like a dick you're saying it's long enough to stay long enough like it's sticking out like a little dick right and you just blow it you're blowing her rectum basically I know buddy that a blow job or no job I feel good you think no I think it was because hemorrhoids get very tender and like red and dry and itchy your [ __ ] is sticking out of your pot yeah and it's probably dangling out there like I'm cold right I'm cold whatever and then in its head the little [ __ ] it's like I've never you know no I don't know what a lip is are you in or out George and then it sucks your dick your bat about [ __ ] like a dick no he needs this guy needs to hear this yeah I think I'm still in I think I just completely ignore it for like a week or two and then would you address it terrible no I I probably wouldn't address it I'd completely ignore it would you like her any less I kill myself don't say that probably not I'd be a little curious as to what it was though you liked her I would stop and I'd get up and go to the doctor with her what do you mean it's a hemorrhoid everyone gets hemorrhoids a lot of women especially when they give birth they pop a Hemi out I don't I feel like I don't want to help her put it back in okay but some people do that but then it comes back out during sex let's say then I'll just press it down oh so you would actually pull it put it back in yeah would you smell my dick if you out of curiosity no that's not good that's not good hey Thursday what other questions one unhelpful advice that I forwarded to you is which one is it um hey guys I need some unhelpful advice after ten years of being married to someone who slowly got more and more mentally ill the abuse pushed me to cheat with someone who was like my best friend who was also married with kids she wasn't happy in her marriage either but wasn't as bad as me we fell deeply in love and art and our idea was to have a kid in secret and she would pass it off as her husband's and we just go back to being best friends and she'd sent pics and tell me about our son over email now and again yeah crazy yes but it was the only way we could be together inside of child after she had him she stopped talking to me completely I don't know why my son is 3 now and I don't even know what he looks like or how he is I met him twice until he was just turning 2 I wrote a long angry email to her telling her how much she hurt me by doing this I think I have to let go but it's so hard to move on I also finally got the courage to leave my abusive partner so I'm trying to start over any unhelpful advice on how to let go of extreme emotions like this everything with that person just feels so unfinished that's okay I have I have things to say but please can you see yeah I think everyone in that scenario is mentally ill I think that they're delusional I think that they're reckless and I don't think that they're people who should be with kids who are having or being married or starting a family like that's all really crazy [ __ ] to me to be to be so like and and this is the key thing she my wife was so mentally ill she pushed me she pushed me to cheat I don't know man that that that doesn't sit right with me leave her then no one pushes you to cheat leave her so I was like an excuse yeah and to think that you can have a child together with someone who's already married who has a child with somebody else like that to me is next-level you're living in not in the real world you're living in [ __ ] soap operas I don't know I I hope you don't hate me for this but you you don't [ __ ] up I don't think you did is it counsel I think he should rat that other person out though and say that that kid is mine can't she do that he do that leave the guy or girl but what if the woman finally came to her senses and he's like that was an insane idea I regret it I want to stick together with a family that I built with this other man who I love and I want to remove this insane person out of my life who during a weak moment in my life you know I conceived the baby with maybe she's just trying to things have finally come around for her and she's like [ __ ] that I need to run away and fix this but you know you look at lives people's lives in the Midwest you know just regular people regular average people and you know they go to work right they go to the ballgame in the weekends but it's you know some people they like the kind of crazy excitement and the adrenaline rush of these kind of situations to to liven up their lives imagine you know you're in a small town you know I don't know what this person's situation is but you know all these little things you know you know I'll give you an example of like you know I could be in a coffee shop and see you know an attractive guy or girl walk in and go oh that person's attractive whatever right but I don't really need to you know cheat or do anything to make my life exciting because my life is already kind of exciting you know like that's it's you cannot conceive a child bring life into this world because you think that you want to create this like clandestine love story yeah that is selfish but that is not something you don't make it that's how their lives are exciting though that's not excitement that's that's cruel it is cruel it is cruel but it's you can see why one acts in that way of like you know well ABC you know that feeling of not getting caught hiding right there doing extra things so that that you can get away with the thing that all that stuff is spy [ __ ] exciting goal that's why BASE jumping yeah you know like that's I don't know I think racing story it's a crazy story brilliant it's a good movie I think that's what I'm saying it sounds like I think he's really guys thanks for listening to another episode of the tiger belly we did it and you know what it was a real pleasure for me you know it was mind mind over matter I love you I'm doing Portland am i doing that now next weekend yeah I'm in Portland next weekend when does this come out morning I'm in Portland next weekend and thank you guys I haven't been myself in 28 sorry 26 to 28 of September of September my birthday is Tuesday this coming Tuesday and I just want to say it's a special year for me from you too especially I really need a special gift oh my god you you always do don't you how about you George I'm getting you I know I'm getting you getting you too I love you guys so much thanks for listening I just um I don't know what's wrong with me today but you clean it this up you can clean it up right you need to clean it up my mind's not real can I do it again you think I'll get a bad eye you need to cry I know if I can what do we do that's what it is I'm just like pent up all these emotions I can't cry over my hand my dad it's weird yeah but like I'll watch like something that's beautiful yeah you know or something that makes it'll make me cry on the Internet there are some things that do it does things I can tell you what those things are the weird what would I like you know but know what you know what I be getting emotional over is people watching The Force awakens teaser trailer for the first time live remember the force awakens when you thought about JJ Abrams and he was gonna do that new Star Wars movie and when you saw that little teaser it was so very Star Wars really the world was good was good it just hit at the right spot and people watching it crying it makes me cry you watch people are crying too yeah I know it's dumb I know but I I know I need a crib I don't know how it might not happen for years I don't say that I don't want I don't know because I can't do it and I'm you know I've been pretty [ __ ] miserable I think yeah I think I've been miserable and depressed I I think that you have and I think you're also the fact that you're not home with your animals you're not home around the people that you know are at the comedy Authority I think it chips away at you that's what's familiar and in this really vulnerable time it's good to see that familiarity and surround yourself with that yeah but there's also weird to be around people you don't know and to be lost yeah until like you know you're in these like you're in the jungle with a machine gun right with a shotgun and yeah and it's like 2:00 in the morning and they're like we do it again right and you're sitting there sweating and and feeling these emotions of your dad or whatever and you pinning it and just remember you know you memorize these lines how do I do this it's just a weird thing to be in you'd feel lost I feel completely [ __ ] lost and I don't know what to do I don't want to do Peters coming over I don't want to do that I don't want to do it I don't do anything we also keep this in mind yeah it's always an option if you need a legitimate break let's take a legitimate break no one reloads we don't have to do this or a lot you know like if you feel um just unsteady the podcast I don't feel like I don't feel like I'm not gonna get it back what do you mean bro I just don't feel like my mind I don't think I don't feel like I don't want to really I don't know how to get a pack the fun I don't want to do stand out I haven't done stand I don't want to do what I didn't call in this week I don't want to do it then take a break I don't do anything break from it all but I don't know if I'll ever get it back I'm scared I'll be scared of that I mean self-care I can't even honestly like the four days I had four days off in Hawaii and I was like I'm gonna write jokes I would go to coffee shops and stare at a wall for four hours just stare like I can't think I don't want to do any of this let's end hey guys thanks for listening thanks so much well thanks again guys to our sponsorship station my bookie blue apron expressvpn and Netflix you can try shipstation free for 60 days just visit shipstation calm click on the microphone at the top of the homepage and type Valley join my bookie now and double your first deposit use promo code belly today to activate offer at my bookie dot AG you play you win you get paid check out this week's menu and get $60 off when you visit blue apron calm slash belly protect your online activity today and find out how you can get three months free and expressvpn calm slash belly and check out our friend bilborough's new special paper tiger only on netflix guys oh go ahead watch watch my redheaded friend bill burr paper tackle Mike binder Mike binder directed it who's a friend of mine as well and I love Billy so much and congratulations on it I love that he he told me to thing and he talks about how people are like overcorrecting and all like the worst ways possible and I think that it's very necessary to that he said it in the way he did you wanna watch it I think maybe I watch it tonight or tomorrow you see Chappelle's yet yes I want to see that too I don't know I can't I can't I love the reviews for it know the reviews are that the critics like one percent like ten percent fuck'em audience gives 99 percent critics though exact time to stand up that is like yeah actually the one of the only reviews I'll never ever read Sharon from the Washington also these sticker packs that we created they're coming out apart topaz [ __ ] with it look at how to call this sticker is and some of these are great way who's Charlie who's your former who's your best friend that's price slow that's Bryce yeah yeah it looks completely [ __ ] full full are full on yeah yes yeah why is Bryce on there I love them though but the sticker pack is probably the best in the business price got these made that's why Bryce is down there [ __ ] hey Martha but thank you for making them Bryce yeah thank you know that I was like a full-blown blown dwarf why shorten these Bryce anyway um thank you guys for listening I love you so much and bye we love you guys make sure you follow Tiger Valley on instagram at tiger belly on twitter at that tiger belly emails any questions for unhelpful advice or helpful advice at advice unhelpful at gmail.com you can follow kalila at calamity k George Kimmel George underscore Kimmel look out for that swipe up and remember what Andrew Santino said is after three days unfollow him and also everything Bob Lee live like his tour dates go to Bobby Lee live.com and everything Bobby Lee go to aunt Bobbie Lee live on Instagram everyone [Music]

Channel: TigerBelly

Views: 241,033

Rating: 4.8443422 out of 5

Keywords: tiger belly, tigerbelly, bobby lee, podcast, khalyla, tgrbly, all things comedy, stand up, comedy, talk, tfatk, funny, madtv, mad, madtv bobby lee, mad tv, laugh factory, breakfast club, standup, best comedy, higatv, h3h3 podcast, the fighter and the kid, vodcast, denim on denim, 2b1c, howard stern, jknews, off the record, dvdasa, the morning toast, geniusbrain, joe jitsukawa, brilliant idiots, whiskey ginger, asian american, king and the sting, andrew schulz, bill burr

Id: x-IrfTCTEQc

Length: 66min 43sec (4003 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 12 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/_thisisdavid]

Bobo without the facial hair looks like a different person.

[u/[deleted]]

Jesus his face has absolutely no definition to it without the facial hair. Looks like his head is melting into his body.

[u/tanahtanah]

Please Bobby, don't let your mom alone by herself,at least for a couple of weeks. It's just really really sad hearing that. Your mom basically just lost her life purpose.

[u/GoingByTrundle]

George is in fuckin' trouble

[u/jimmyjak87]

I got into this podcast just a couple months ago, and have watched well over 100 hours of it by now, and it is severly fucking with me to see Bobo without the mustache.

Also awwwww Theo....

[u/mitchcoob]

Naked face Bobby reminds me of the old episodes lol

[u/YOUREABOT]

Hello Slept King

[u/LeroyGreen75]

How is this episode not called "Prolapse Meatball"?

[u/Aloofpooper]

Does bobby have a kennel for this dog?