Have You Ever Been Romantically Involved With A Sociopath?

have you ever been romantically involved with a sociopath a SPD diagnosed if so is it actually a traumatizing experience what is it like I had a friend who married one he changed 100% the night they got married he went from a nice normal guide to super cold he moved her out of state got her pregnant and had two other families on the side she finally got out of it tricked her up for a long time a friend of mine dated a diagnosed sociopath and she said it was frustrating because there wasn't any logic behind her attraction to him but she realized he was not good to her but she couldn't stop going back to him she described him as both the best and worst thing in her life when she was with him edit I am NOT nor have I ever been in a romantic relationship with my brother I misread the post-2000 things happened when we were little I wouldn't have linked up then that I most certainly do now as twins we obivously got two of everything he destroys take mine and then say I destroyed mine to get his thing because it was better somehow he hugged the family cat so hard it panted when he let go every time once he mysteriously found the cat with a broken leg and decided not to tell my mom he was just constantly trying to cause chaos pinning everyone in the house against each other he would start argument seemingly for the fun of it and he'd always find a way to slip into the background while we screamed at each other his worst offense was when he cut himself on the leg with a razor and told my mom dad had made him do it my parents nearly got divorced because of him then they did for other reasons he told me a while later he lied about it all he liked doing that freaking things up and only telling me I was branded as a liar for most of my childhood and no one really trusted anything I said because of him so he took all the more delight in confiding in me because he knew what it would do he lives with my dad now and I haven't spoken to him in four years but I have a fun story if people ask who the evil twin as I guess you're at it made me laugh thanks he was a classic into animal torture and stuff like that the way he got to talk endlessly about animal torture was by pretending he felt bad for it and looking for sympathy I can't believe I did X and why I feel so bad he kept mentioning it so much he thought it was funny when the other baby had pain at one point he told me that it was so long ago that by now I should also think it was funny that he had gotten my blood and pieces of my flesh on him he said that me having empathy was proof that I was mentally ill because empathy doesn't exist you just learned in your teens that there's consequences for being bad to other people he also said that nobody cares about women they're like steak in the supermarket and that when he saw a woman in the streets he thought about raping them he is incredibly charismatic and the police said that I made a false report he is still harassing me through the legal system it was traumatizing I felt like I was losing my mind from the casual cruelty and gaslighting took forever for me to trust obvious truths again since he was skilled at maliciously twisting them point zero 3/10 would not recommend beanthere the trauma is brutal I had intense therapy and I'm still healing maybe I always will be who knows but I do empathize deeply with you yes he admitted his diagnosis proudly at least to me he was very troubled I was only with him 8 months but those 8 months were the worst of my life he seemed happy to discover I didn't have stable housing asked if he'd like to move in I said no so he started causing problems with the people I was crashing with I didn't realize this till later that he was the one that got me kicked out once I had no choice but to stay with him hotels all the streets he laughed and said he's breaking his lease maybe if I did what he said faster it'd be able to stay but that I could sleep in his basement he would do weird crap like that making me wait outside off bars his job his friends houses was a big thing had make me do especially if the weather was poor when he drank it was even worse it sleep in the bathroom if he was on liquor get away from him if I didn't he'll strangle me when he blacked out he's wanted for killing a girl in another country now no clue where he is but ill randomly get contacted by him it's been yes but he still contacts me all he says is I love you once he got into my email and changed my name to I love you I know 100% it's him I've seen and been through a lot of fricked up crap in my life it is what it is but that man takes the freaking cake for the most awful experience in my entire life there are people I meet or see on TV that have the same exact look in their eyes or voice patrin at him despite looking nothing like him I avoid those people like the plague or grin to turn the TV off it's like they over enunciate certain points off words yet have a monotone voice the letter T especially like they're parroting a human not actually one one thing he always did was watch youtube videos and practice in the mirror on how to look happy sad concerned it was insane everyone thought he was the greatest guy on earth his mother tried to warn me that he'd kill me freaked up edit can people stop DM me begging for me to watch youtube clips until I find one thira minds me of him it's not something I can do I'm done answering questions about this it's getting to be gross also the insults ending I love you I know it isn't him because he doesn't send it in English nice try though edit please consult a professional if you believe you or an ex loved one et Cie has a SPD diagnosing a serious mental illness yourself is not healthy and further pushes misinformation and stigmas it seems a lot of people think narcissistic personality disorder and antisocial personality disorder are the same thing as well yes I dated a narcissistic sociopath it was terrible and left permanent scars it took time but I realize now that everything was a lie well his name was correct but what he thought felt did his plans and his history I know none of those things he is a complete stranger and I never knew him at all I'm doing fine now although once in a while I stop and shake my head because I feel so goddamn dumb my ex is a walking illusion he was whatever he needed to be at the moments to reel in his victim even after I filed for divorce it wasn't until I heard the pathological lizard he'd told his new girlfriend that I realized it there wasn't any diagnosis but I was casually with a guy who was sending up some pretty serious red flags and it suddenly clicked that he was a sociopath no empathy would absolutely lie to people's faces huge plans that went nowhere nothing was ever his fault rules before other people when I drifted away from him or hung out with someone else he would start putting lots of effort in again and of course there was the cheating lying et Cie etc luckily for me I had recognized it early and I realized I needed to be careful about how I went about detaching myself from him so here is what I did and hopefully it can help someone I never actually broke things off with him or told him we were done obviously this only works if you're casual but maybe some variation could work so an example would be that when he asked me for something I knew he wanted it right then so whenever he contacted me to ask for something I'd say sure that sounds great I get off at work in 3 hours and I'll come right over with whatever he wanted after that he'd say no never mind I'd act like I was disappointed about it so he thought he had successfully punished me he thought I was still on the hook I'd do this over and over until he stopped thinking of me as someone he could get things from it took a while and a lot of acting upset when he would the raid me or snap at me I specifically remember sitting in his room while he yelled at me about where I put my purse down thinking okay remember V this is very upsetting I look sad but it did work without him going to any extremes and we lived in the same building so it was hard to just avoid him altogether obviously your mileage may vary I dated a guy who wanted total control 24 stroked 7 I got sick a lot and had a lot of medical tests because they couldn't figure out what was wrong I got really boring and too sick to go anywhere so he broke it off yep by far the hardest experience of my life was with him for nearly a year six years ago still working on recovery today tried to separate me from my friends and family made me feel responsible for him emotionally and financially one of the first things he did after about a week of dating was convinced me to pay for his $400 phone bill so he could have his phone switched back on and stay in contact with me that was only the beginning I lost all self-worth by the end I felt completely crazy it's insane what prolonged exposure to gas lighting will do to a person I ended up dropping out off uni because he would sabotage me at every turn I'll never forget when I was working on a major project and he would keep walking past me calling me a frickin bee and spitting on my piece I was the only one working and supporting two people on a crap hospitality wage is hard enough then added about a $300 a week weed addiction if he didn't have it he would lose his crap throw things smash things etc it was safer for me to keep him high and in turn I smoked a crapload to escape the reality of the situation I finally got out when I found that he had had prostitutes in the house and in my bed I finally opened up to my friends what had been happening and they got me out of there it was freaked up but I try to see it in a positive light I've learnt into gained massive self esteem since this happened and I find I can easily detect sociopathic and narcissistic personalities not people now I still get super triggered by things especially males yelling or showing aggression I still get annoyed at myself for breaking down in these situations but each time it happens I feel myself heal just that little bit I see it as a wound reopening but then the scar tissue builds up making me stronger each time sorry for such a long rant seeing this question hit me and feels good to get a bit of the stuff off my chest I don't imagine that it's common for sociopaths to get diagnosed as such they tend to live in denial they don't think they have issues worth exploring yes I dated one and it was the most traumatic experience of my life by the time it was over multiple years I had no idea who he was that's what it's like I was a married to one it was traumatizing we had a child and he cheated while I was pregnant with a woman I specifically said I don't trust her please avoid being alone with her when she joined my group other friends basically invited her in he was verbally and mentally abusive he told me no one would want me because I was a young single mom so I may as well come home and just let him cheat with whoever he felt like cheating with I moved across the country to escape his insanity the best way I learned to deal with him is to ignore him and not give a crap it messed with his ego big time he really doesn't know how to deal with someone who actually gives zero shot about him he would try to tell me about whatever was going on in his life and I'd say why are you telling me this I don't care don't speak to me unless it's about our son he kidnapped my child during a visit because our divorce was final in our home state nothing could be done it took me two years of fighting to win full sole custody of my son who is now grown and doesn't have much to do with his dad there is of course a lot more to the story psychological warfare and such he tried to make me think I was going crazy when I started to become suspicious he tried to torture me for 18 years I haven't spoken to him in five years and I feel free he has been told if he so much as tries to speak to me at events for my son graduation college graduation military basic training graduation that I will walk away I have nothing to say to the man and he has nothing to say to me my son learned on his own what type of person his dad is and is remarkably well-adjusted and full of empathy - the kidnapping I am dealing with the same exact scenario I'm sorry you dealt with this but I am happy your son saw his father's true colors and you have escaped them 4matic I'm in therapy but I'm scared of people now I don't know if I want to get married or have kids I beat myself up for it because there were so many signs he was a sociopath but I still wanted him even after a few years we first broke up I ended up catching herpes he never cared about me and only cared about himself he used me I get really mad at myself when I think about it even typing this out my anxiety is slightly hitting me I learned that I was in love with the idea of being in love and that my self-esteem was so low it's probably going to be a long time before I trust people again one of my biggest fears is falling into that again even worse not leaving I'm thankful that I have family and friends so that helps me I don't feel alone I feel love all the time reading this was a stab in the heart gosh that sounds like absolute heck praying that you have a steady recovery don't beat yourself up so much over it after several relationships with toxic people I learned and quote often that once you see someone through rose-colored glasses all the red flags just look like Flags was married to one for four years definitely would not repeat the level of delusion is unreal and trying to get him to understand someone else's pain trying to get him to see how his actions were freaked up was like trying to force a couple blind person to differentiate red and green his vast lack of empathy was unyielding not even his therapist could make progress and requested to meet with me for help in getting through to him he truly lives in a fictional world where he can do no wrong and it's freaking terrifying I moved a thousand miles away first chance I got my first boyfriend told me on our first date that he was a sociopath and I don't feel anything but I sure know why like you weren't because I was sixteen and naive I completely fell for it cube being manipulated into sex telling him I struggled with my relationship with food and body image only to be told I was fab II afterwards and all the exhausting mind games even through all of that and more I still utterly adored him and repressed all of my instinctual feelings that were telling me to leave some think I still feel dumb about I honestly think I was just a toy for him to manipulate and hurt something he made sure to tell me about after our relationship ended the way his face would change from loving to like someone I didn't know was kind of terrifying really it all freaked me up pretty badly and I still find it hard to trust people , the way his face would change from loving to like someone I didn't know was kind of terrifying really that's his mask slipping extremely still haven't recovered and I regularly have breakdowns over it thankfully I'm in a healthy relationship now but feel it a shame the emotional pains and trust issues from my previous relationship can sometimes cause issues waiting to have therapy after lockdown this happened about a year ago now and I think it'll always stay with me honestly his eyes were so soulless it was like glimpsing the gates of heck therapists will see you over zoom Skype whatever okay I have never been romantic relationship with a sociopath I am NOT here to share a story per se I was reading through the comments and most of these characteristics of a sociopath mentioned in them I exhibit nearly all of them when I was young I felt it torture small insects I don't feel empathy and love to me doesn't isn't a feeling but a set of actions but I haven't caused such problems as given in the comments even though I feel kinda angry if my friend talks to anyone else but I keep it with myself and nowadays I don't feel angry a lot I have also made people fight each other when I was younger I never find myself having any sort of emotions and social gatherings everyone else would be like it's so fun and I never felt that kind of emotion but I don't feel like I would commit a crime cause I live on principles and recently I feel like I have started developing genuine feeling and concern for others these comments really made me see through myself and now I have a very serious problem I am genuine worried if I would grow into a serious problematic individual my friend really tries very hard to make me go to social gatherings and enjoy my life like others I have told her a million times I display some of the common sociopathic symptoms and she just tensed take it as a joke and honestly most changes in me as due to her but now I am concerned if I would harm her cause if I ever get angry on her my mind starts making plans not to hurt physically but to hurt her emotionally and stuff and I have been able to stop myself from executing that I don't want to hurt her so does anyone here know what I can do all this comments are to be honest freaking me out I have a bit of sanity left I guess and I don't want to do anything crazy is there any sort of diagnosis for this so that I can get treated I'd really suggest going to counselling a counselor has seen similar patients and is able to give you the guidance and tools necessary to help get a handle on the situation I also want to tell you that I dated a man who was a sociopath and he is truly one of the kindest people I've met and treated me very very well he saw counselor frequently and I know that helped best of luck pal extremely traumatizing it's like waking up one day and realizing you have no idea who you have been intimate with them sleeping next to for that last seven years that they never loved you they just loved having control over your life then you exactly want to say or do to keep you loving them to top it all off everyone loves him he has tons of friends and they all think he is the greatest thing on earth his charm is sickening now that I know and he truly is but it is his charm that kept me trapped for so long that somehow slowly over those seven years you blocked everyone out of your life because he was all I needed and now you have nobody and no friends nothing he somehow became your entire existence the worst part of it for me was when you do realize the crap hole your life has become and try to talk to him about how depressed and alone you are he has absolutely no feelings or sympathy for you zero sympathy is something I never seen from him those seven years now that I think about it me being eight months pregnant and him not going to a single doctor's appointment or asking me if I was okay is what made me wake up when that entire eight months he didn't even ask me what we should name her is what really did it for me to keep in mind he was the one who was constantly begging to have a child my pregnancy was due to a failure in my IUD so although unplanned I am happy slowly I knew I had no idea who this man was don't even get me started on the cheating only a monster could cheat on someone they love while they are pregnant and alone and scared and insecure I could go on and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy I am currently in the process of being two weeks away from giving birth I am high-risk and have to sneak out and move out of my own apartment so I can go to a new one well he won't come find me moving when you are that big and close to your due date as a different type of Heric sociopaths don't care about to love anyone except them edit my mother was right of course lol I wasn't able to change him love sometimes really isn't enough she told me this the entire relationship because she knew how he was but love is love and sometimes it sucks not really romantically but I had a crush on him for a while before we became best friends I used to tell him I loved him and he would stare at me blankly and reply with oh he never cried I watched him get hit with a baseball bat in the balls and he just sat there and held them his dog died he didn't cry I wrote him a song to show him how much I loved him and he didn't care messed me up big time and now I have difficulties telling my a complicated boy relationship partner dude that I love him my sister is a sociopath she only dates people with mental disorders minorities so she can constantly guilt them into stuff every relationships beenen she's yelled at them you're only dating me because I am white I'm married to one for over ten years who would describe himself as such he is on the high-functioning end of the autism spectrum and he describes himself as being a lot like a computer very logic driven high creativity in problem-solving suitable as an engineer but doesn't get too emotional about stuff and odd that he can't feel emotions and he has at times felt uncontrollably angry on something but I can count on one hand in the 15 years we have been together but he is very aware since a young age he doesn't have the same emotional responds to things as almost everyone around him and he knows he doesn't have much empathy to people he finds Sherlock Holmes as played by our DJ as very relatable especially the scene where he is getting overstimulated by his environment and just not really caring about things others get angsty over he has cultivated as a result over the years in his words a more human seeming social facade he shows to others but that said he has a strong connection to me our kids and his mother and in times of crisis or a family emergency father dying my parents pet getting severely injured it's like he turns off all emotion gets to problem solving and his cool head helps us get through it's actually been comforting that he can do it if I'm emotionally falling apart so yeah I guess my husband and I are they are normally here in the little sense of social path of a lack of conscience yes chronic liar and me being young I didn't know any better I ended up getting how pregnant and I knew it was for the best that she not raise her own daughter so in our divorce I made sure to get custody everything turned out well for my daughter I on the other hand found out a number of years later my daughter wasn't biologically related to me many men that could be considered a nightmare scenario and for me it was for awhile and I still have trouble with it honestly but I am glad my daughter didn't have to grow up with her mother and only has to interact with her when she my daughter once I was married for a few years to a sociopath she has me twisted around her little finger she loved bombed me seems like my perfect partner would say everything I wanted to hear whilst steadily manipulating me to get whatever she wanted I ended up working my butt off while she studied when she was actually juggling other guys and doing coke I found out she tried to convince me it was all my fault and I should apologize and stop being so controlling let her live her dreams and support her financially I fortunately had the emotional fortitude despite being devastated to say no no more so she took me for a small fortune and the divorce and stuff much of my hard-earned money up her nose so many people told me they wanted to warn he told me how something always seemed off about her ten years later she still writes to me about how much she misses me and how she's forgiven me for the way I treated her and we should talk yet I still have copies of all the messages and photos to other guys of the messages to her only friend saying what a thrill it was and how easy I was to manipulate it took me years of therapy himself flagellation to get over the guilt I felt at letting this be done to me how foolish I had been to give my trust to someone so cruel but I've come to accept though that the fault was not with me I did my best and I wanted to believe in her and build something she's the one who lied and tore everything apart those years are now a fading scar for a long time it was a festering wound but now it's part of me which led to better things I immigrated and now live an infinitely better life with someone who deserves and turns my trust every day who I respect and love and who reciprocates that thing I knew is still in the same place still ripping her own and her chosen victims lives apart I don't take any joy from this but it doesn't make me feel like scrubbing every inch of my skin clean any longer I was married to one he's an officer in the army he constantly talked about how much the army loves sociopaths and how great they are every other person was out to get him and he claimed it was that he had a strong personality it was a very classic start he loved me thought I was great and was worthy of him it fights were really dramatic I was young enough to be enthralled with the man in uniform idea my therapist finally convinced me I have PSTD responses from being in a relationship with him mostly because he would deny things that happened being a sociopath he's very convincing he would get blackout drunk and have complete meltdowns punching holes in the walls or throwing bottles at me being far away from my family and support I had a hard time vocalizing what was going on if anyone called him out on it he would start talking about his old deployments and how awful it was as a deflection method I let him use that as an excuse for a long time I now realize this is a common method of someone with a borderline personality I would be the bad one from not putting up with him because he had wrapped himself in the flag even to this day when I have to deal with him he claims none of it ever happened I sometimes call friends who were there to make sure my memories are real I also have the worst body image I'm a competitive athlete even in my 30s and if I went to the gym I was being vain and if I didn't I was unattractive there's still tons of guilt over leaving because a lot of close people don't understand sociopaths are great at wearing masks hopefully I'll find someone great one day I just don't think I'll ever be able to believe anything they like about me because I'm used to waiting for anything good to be used against me just wanted to comment and mention that not all of us a SPDR like this some of us actually identify there is an issue and want to blend with society currently dating one not traumatizing at all actually he was diagnosed when he was younger and it's just something to live with he's charming and carries himself very well among others he doesn't feel empathy like the rest of us do but can understand why something would provoke the reaction it does even if he can't feel it the same way the mask he wears is super convincing and you wouldn't know he was one unless you really got to know him but the relationship is great but it is a bit weird and away I learned that my love and his love are different and this applies to all other emotions such as sadness anger and jealousy but for the most part our relationship is great it has its normal ups and downs I try to take the time to understand him but it can be a bit difficult if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: On Tap Studios

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Rating: 4.8805971 out of 5

Keywords: complicated, complicated love, complicated love story, being in love, sociopath, sociopath love, sociopath love obsession, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, sub, reddit cringe, memes, comment awards, dankify, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, chill, story, stories, reddit on tap

Id: -kpBp1cGIjE

Length: 28min 32sec (1712 seconds)

Published: Tue Jul 07 2020