Hannibal Buress - Gangsters Ask Questions

you know my least favorite thing about the website youporn is they let people comment on the point and that's unnecessary people leave weird comments you that check out bone her and I [ __ ] on her chest and lick it off who's with me nobody nobody's with you licking [ __ ] that's a disgusting activity I feel like you should be so low in your [ __ ] eating Devils I'll try to bring me or the rest at a you poor community until your nonsense I speak for the whole you pong community the anytime has an interracial seeing a black guy on a white woman as always racist comments [ __ ] [ __ ] I'll [ __ ] are white women like dude are you seriously being racist and masturbate at the same time [Applause] [Applause] but I can't look away from this scene this couple has amazing or kamek Emma Stream guys I lose all those videos have descriptions you know what you're gonna see before you click on it but it's guys still clicked on it because His Holiness beat out his racism a day I have a situation in my apartment right now I have a surplus of pickle juice in my apartment too much pickle juice left of the pickles but I don't like throwing out the pickle juice it says feels wasteful so lately I've been dipping my fingers in the pickle juice and I flick it or my sandwiches for flavor like that [Applause] how many flags they take the properly flavor ham sandwich between 7 and 11 depending on how big your fingers are and how long you leave them immersed in the pickle juice there's lots of variables I studied this I get homeland and all the pickle juice is gone ask for a roommate hey man what happened to the pencil dude he said I threw it away it's just pickle juice I said it's not just pickle juice I flicked that on my sandwiches for flavor I told him hey man you know I gotta hurt one of your lizards now you have like seven legs that's way too many lives they would be [ __ ] never been on Animal Planet in a different famous lizards they're random lizards they chill in my apartment all day to have lights on them all the time but they don't put any money on the light bill whoo these lizards get all these free lights I pay for my life I will fly one of those lizards and have a lizard sandwich and flip it with your sorry little big rat friend I like rap videos but a lot of them are weird they have to be continued but they never have a second video like your where's the second video so much suspense I need to know how to cope almost champagne on these [ __ ] somebody gonna bring us how these girls are wet what's going on here so much suspense tell me that's not a little wanker interview it was bad this is journals like little Wayne if you could ask George Bush any questions about Hurricane Katrina what would you saying he was like I'm a gangsta gangsters don't ask questions what gangstas do ask questions asking questions is a big part of being a gangster [ __ ] buddy that's a question do you want to die tonight that's a question too what what that's two questions thanks please always ask questions I want to be a gangster I do I want to be a [ __ ] but - the gangbanging and shooting people cuz if you take all that away it seems like they just dance and go to barbecues all the time just have fun as a gang it cuz pass the potato salad this barbecue is great you want to go bandana shopping after this I really enjoy being a [ __ ] the camaraderie is my favorite party I was coming up the story all the I just bought some Oreos and some Chips Ahoy I get outside as this guy like a brother it's my birthday today and I was the first time in my life without any sarcasm I could say what you want a cookie or something you being me but I'm in it from the heart how many cookies you want man once after cookies that's way too many cookies you very ridiculous right now get like three or four cookies and then get out of my face kind of is my real name I was named after this general Hannibal Barca but not a lot of people know about him some federal associated with Hannibal Lecter and Silence of the Lambs it's not even a real dude I cannot be Hannibal from the a-team sometimes every day I had a same conversation with people about my name your real name is Hannibal yeah my real name is Hannibal your parents named you Hannibal yes my parents named me Hannibal so Hannibal is on your birth certificate yes Hannibal's on my birth certificate but why judges asked me the same question in three different ways I really want to choke that person to see how they handle that are you joking me right now yes I'm soaking you right now I usually a hand stuff by force to my neck yes I'm using my hands tough life force see you then are you trying to stop the circulation of blood to my brain so I passed out yes I'm trying to stop the circulation of blood and oxygen to your brain so you'll pass out some of y'all might be warned a Hannibal if you were choking that dude why was he still talking regular and now it's just a choice I made for that joke didn't feel like doing a choking voice I used to live with my girls I would come home late she would get upset where were you is 3 it's 3 like stop focusing on a time you realize I could do bad [ __ ] and still make it home at 7 o'clock so like what would you do if I stayed after 3:00 in the morning me I play video games to celebrate your absence I realized recently my judgment gets messed up more by food and juice than does by drugs or alcohol like I love apple juice I think it's delicious I want to start my own apple juice company I don't know how you go about doing that I try emailing some companies for advice didn't work out one day I get to grocery store me and my girl Mott's fresh pressed natural after just a dollar 79 for a half gallon that's a great sale we get eight bottles eight bottles is all we have on the belt in front of us the old man looking back shaking his head like no nope like what's wrong old man you mad cuz we got all this apple juice you can go get some - it's over then I'll fall but if not stop judging us hell yeah we are hoarding apple juice taking advantage the sale before the store realized what a horrible mistake they've made and you know what we're back and happy with our Apple just see you up there lonely with your Hormel chili you lonely Hormel chili eating old man wait a minute ugh me a minute to realize he wasn't shaking his head cuz of the apple juice he was shaking his hand cuz my girlfriend was white and he didn't agree with that but I was so caught up into you for of having all that apple juice then for like a minute I lived in this world where racism didn't exist I was like it's obvious that this old man is just an apple juice hater thanks a lot y'all later [Applause]

Channel: Just For Laughs

Views: 5,253,486

Keywords: Just for laughs, jfl, just for laugh, just for laughs youtube, youtube just for laughs, just laughs, just laugh, juste pour rire, funny comedy, comedian, stand up, stand up youtube, standup youtube, standup, stand up comedian, stand up comedians, funny, laugh, laughs, comedy, humor, hannibal buress gangsters don't ask questions, Hannibal Buress Gangsters Ask Questions, Hannibal Buress porn comments, Hannibal buress pickle juice, hannibal Buress JFL, hannibal buress just for laughs

Id: y3kGVty0dyg

Length: 7min 51sec (471 seconds)

Published: Thu May 16 2019