Jimmy O. Yang's Best Dad Stories

eventually I became a good Asian-American and I went to school to get an economics degree because that was the easiest degree that can still appease my Asian parents but then after I graduated I didn't want to do like econ or Finance so I go went up to my dad I was like Dad I I don't want to do any of this I I want to go try and do standup and he was like what's a what's a standup you mean like a talk show I was like yeah sure talk show whatever you want to call it okay but I want to go pursue my dreams and he was like no pursuing your dreams how you become homeless I was like no no that Dad it's things are different now we're in America okay in America we're supposed to do what we love he was like no everyone does what they hate for money and use the money to do what they [Applause] love that's that old school Chinese man ality right I don't know if you guys know this but uh I came from an acting family but it's not really like Angelina Jolie and John voy I guess I'll be Angelina Jolie in that equation my dad is also an actor but he started acting after I did cuz he was like it's so easy you can do it I can okay I'm like that fine if you think my life's so easy why don't you go to some open call Auditions and you understand how hard it is how much rejection I face every day at my job he was like okay and he went to all these auditions and he started booking everything it's true story he he got on this show in China in mainland China called little daddy shiaa half a billion people watch that show it's like the Big Bangs Theory of China and Richard blew up and he was like this is a easy I don't know my plane completely backfired and my aunt in Shanghai she watched the show and she would call the house in LA and she's like congratulations Richard you're such a good actor did your son teach you how to act and he's like no no I'm a natural oh that's very good you and your son same business you know you two are very funny he's like no no Jimmy is are not a funny I'm like Dad that's [ __ ] okay you got one good role good for you I'm happy for you but you're not a real actor yet real actors we got to cry we got to laugh do you even know how to cry in front of a camera he was like yes I just think about how much you suck at pingpong my dad just from a different generation he is like a weird Beauty standard like for us we just say things on very surface level just like oh this person's attractive this person's not right my dad would get into the weeds my dad will give you all the weird details he'll be like oh she's beautiful very long arms I'm like what are you recruiting for a linebacker what are you talking about I can never get a PO on who he thinks is attractive or not right one time I'm like Dad oh she's really goodlooking and my dad was like no her mouth's too close to her nose she can of bre she can of bre I see some of you guys looking your partner it's like is my nose too close and that's exactly what an Asian parent does to you you know make your s-c conscious about [ __ ] you didn't know about I was very nervous to introduce my girlfriend to my dad cuz she's absolutely beautiful but who knows if a wingspan is long enough for his life I was so so nervous man the first time I brought my girlfriend to my dad's house and to his credit I want to give him credit he actually didn't say anything crazy because for some reason when an old Chinese person sees white people they just start acting right like his posture changed and stood uppr right and for some reason he just came up with a British accent like me and my girlfriend walked in the house he didn't say anything crazy he just looked at us he was like oh prosperous young couple and my girlfriend was so confused it's like why does your dad sound like Helen mirin I grew up very stereotypically man I didn't play basketball or football I grew up playing pingpong competitively that was a serious national sport back home man you know I didn't go to any like fun summer cam space cam my dad said sent me to a pingpong training camp in guango China I almost died it was 100 Kids competing with one spot on the national team it was basically fortnite with ping pong paddles we took that [ __ ] seriously though my dad would take me to every practice every Tournament game and he always try to give me a pep talk before every game but you know Asian parents they way too honest so every pep talk just turned into an insult like he will come up to me be like J J you going to play well okay even though you're slow even though you're weak and you'll suck and then he would just walk away I was very good at math that's a big Asian stereotype I think there's some truth to that not because of some weird genetic thing just because app parent car so much more about mathematics and academics right you guys seen it you guys seen those like Kuman Learning Centers in those strip malls right right Kuman Learning Centers for you guys that don't know are basically detention camps for young Asian children you can tell that place is kind of [ __ ] up by the look of its logo cuz it's supposed to be a smiley face but it's not really smiling it's just like man my parents were way too cheap to send me to Kumon they got a different strategy they never let me use a calculator until I turned 15 so I can work on my brain function that's an old school Chinese strategy you know so when I turned 15 it was a very special occasion it was basically my kinera my dad just gave me a TI 83 [Applause] plus and he looked me in the eyes and he was like you're a woman now okay but when you're a kid when your parents tell you can't do something what do you do you Rebel right so when I was 14 years old I stole my brother's calculator I stole Roy rogers's calculator and I locked myself in my room and I started rebelling I started doing math homework other kids were like [ __ ] around with like alcohol and drugs I was [ __ ] up some problemas you know lock myself in a room I was just punching a number I was like oh man this feels great you know it's so wrong it's awesome my dad was pissed he was knocking the other side of the door he doesn't like locked doors in the house and he was screaming he was like Jimmy Jimmy what are you doing inside come out right now I know you're in there using a calculator come out right now I was so scared I didn't know what to do and he unlocked the door and he came in I went into full panic mode so I just threw away the calculator and I pulled down my pants I was like Dad I was just jerking off and he came in and he looked at me and they looked at math homework and he was like good good very good very good very good you must have really like a mask that's good that's good keep it up because there's nothing there's nothing that will make your Asian father more proud than to see his son jerk off to his maath homework see I'm like first generation but my my parents they're like negative n generation cuz they're so freaking Chinese like it's really hard for me to watch TV with my dad because he's trying to make me explain everything to him and first of all all Asian people they don't watch TV they judge the TV this is like I'm just sitting next to my dad on the couch and he's wearing his like old Asian man costume which is just a wife beater and tidy whes he just sitting there arms folded judging the TV [Applause] like he just makes random noises around the house now whenever he sneezes it's never just sneeze it's like a whole tsunami of sound waves that comes after it's just like hey [ __ ] oh I'm like what the [ __ ] dad just have an orgasm what was that and he doesn't understand what I'm saying half the time he's like oh the orgasm okay the orgas orgasm and he trying to make me explain everything to him on TV do you understand how difficult it is to explain a rap music video to an old Chinese man we're just sitting there and my dad was like oh Jimmy Jimmy what I mean when he say Lamborghini Merci what the and I'm like Dad he's bragging about his car it's a Lamborghini Merci Lago very expensive car you know what that is right it's was like oh okay okay yes yes that's when you know they have no idea what the [ __ ] you just said like okay okay yes he has a Lamborghini okay Jim what do he mean when he say your chick she's so thirsty or what the and I was like [ __ ] um that he he's making fun of somebody's girlfriend okay saying like she likes attention from other guys and she likes to do sex stuff with them you know like blows and such and he like oh okay okay yes yes yes [ __ ] okay Jimmy J I'm thirsty too okay so I was I was like oh God no no got lost L translation it's disgusting I love my dad man I love my dad D he's a great dad he's a funny guy you know and we did a lot of Father and Son bonding growing up like for example I'm a big basketball fan I love watching the NBA yeah yeah actually I grew up a Los Angeles Clippers fan yeah because my dad was cheap okay because my dad because the Lakers and the Clippers play in the same stadium with the Clippers tickets were half price so my dad's like never pay full price never that was even the most embarrassing part the most embarrassing part was when we exited the stadium when we exited Staple Center there'll be hot dog Street vendors out there right Latino Brothers selling bacon WRA hot dogs for $5 I love those things and my dad would go up and haggle with them he'll go on and be like okay I give you $5 for two hot dogs I'm like Dad it's not buy one get one free of Costco just give them 10 bucks he was like sh never pay full price okay I'll give you $8 for two hot dogs final offer and the guy didn't care he like no it's $10 and then my dad is a strategy he just announces in front of everyone make sure everyone hears him he's like okay we walk away I'm like Dad I don't care I don't think he cares if you walk away don't walk away I'm hungry he's like Jimmy it's better to be hungry than to pay full price and then my mom comes up behind us with four hot dogs and she was like guess how much thank you guys

Channel: Jimmy O Yang

Views: 771,555

Keywords: jimmy o yang, jimmy's dad, jimmy o yang's dad, guess how much, jimmy yang stand up, bobby lee, tigerbelly, joe rogan, ali wong, ronny chieng, jo koy, space force, american born chinese, silicon valley

Id: lYtdZo0aW50

Length: 13min 16sec (796 seconds)

Published: Fri Jan 19 2024