George Carlin -Question Everything

it's all [ __ ] folks saw [ __ ] and it's bad for you now you wouldn't know it for some of the things I've said over the years but I like people I do I like people but I like them in short bursts I don't like people for extended periods of time I'm alright with them for a little while but once you get up passed around minute minute and a half I gotta get the [ __ ] out of there and my reason for this my reason is for one that you may share possibly I have a very low tolerance level for stupid [ __ ] tell the truth don't be bullshitting people like I say there's enough [ __ ] as it is cuz it up [ __ ] as it is in fact there's just enough did you know that there's just enough [ __ ] to hold things together in this country [ __ ] is the glue that binds us as a nation where would we be without our safe familiar American [ __ ] land of the free home of the brave the American dream all men are equal justice is blind the press is free your vote counts business is honest the good guys win the police are on your side God is watching you your standard of living will never decline and everything is going to be just fine the official national [ __ ] story I call it the American okey-doke every one of those items is provably untrue at one level or another but we believe them because they're pounded into our heads from the time we're children that's what they do with that kind of stuff they put it in the heads of kids they pound it in there because kids they know kids are too young to be able to mount a sophisticated argument against these kind of ideas and so kids and up to a certain age by the way kids are going to believe everything a grown-up tells them everything so they took kids never learned to question things nobody questions things in this country anymore nobody questions things why people are too fat and happy people are way too [ __ ] prosperous for their own good everyone's got a cell phone that'll make pancakes and rub their balls now you know so nobody wants nobody wants to rock the boat and people people just a gizmo Americans have been silenced bought off in silence by gizmos and toys and as a result no one's ever learned to question things no one has no pleasure Wow okay new member Barbara Bush I call it a silver douchebag you remember her Barbara Bush she is the mother of Governor George Bush I call him governor Bush because that's the only elected office he ever held legally I don't care where they hang is portrayed I don't care how big his library is he'll always be Governor Bush I don't even capitalize his name when I type it anymore so she's the mother of Governor George Bush she's also the wife of his father George HW Bush who did become president in the normal legal traditional manner and when he did she came along for the ride as first lady and that's been the tradition up till now a man has been elected and the woman has come along for the ride as the first lady and usually as in American life in general the woman is condescended to patronized given something to do to keep her busy a lot of times they give her a charity or a cause something she can champion Betty Ford was told to drink remember that yeah yeah that was that was Betty Ford's assignment Betty you get drunk and get totally fallen down [ __ ] up shit-faced drunk okay you just get [ __ ] up drunk I will hose you down baby will hose you down will put you to facility you get sober and then we'll put your name on the facility Liza Minnelli can get sober and everything's gonna be okay all right that was her assignment Barbara Bush's assignment was getting children to read remember that getting children to read they figured she had had so much success with George that she would be a natural to get children to read which misses the point completely not important to get children to read children want to read are going to read kids who want to learn to read are going to learn to read much more important to teach children to question what they read children should be taught to question everything to question everything believe everything they hear children should be taught to question authority parents never teach their children to question authority because parents or authority figures themselves in it I want to undermine their own [ __ ] inside the household so they stroke the kid the kid strokes them and they all stroke each other and they all grow up all [ __ ] up and they come to shows like this you

Channel: VimanaRama

Views: 2,538,038

Rating: 4.9275613 out of 5

Keywords: George, Carlin, american, bullshit, question, everything

Id: Uo-QIY7ys-k

Length: 5min 37sec (337 seconds)

Published: Tue Jun 24 2008

Reddit Comments

[u/[deleted]]

Can we continue to call Hillary "Secretary Clinton" if she gets elected?

[u/[deleted]]

Post-Carlin comedians love Bernie!