Gang Member interview-Baldacci

all right baldacci sir maldochi uh where'd you grow up where are you from originally i'm from uh los angeles uh florence district south los angeles basically that's what it basically is and tell me uh about your family growing up yeah mom and dad yeah um yeah my mom and dad um you know they're born here as well uh i was born actually at the hospital centennial hospital in the city of inglewood and from that hospital i was took to a street called city uh converse that's why i got this converse all-star tattoo because i'm an all-star actually from the block you know i mean um growing up you know my mom was basically the main person in the home because my father he was in prison for a long time gone and you know so it was a little bit you know harder for me uh being the fact that you know my father was gone i'm not gonna blame that totally on you know him being gone me being what i am today or everything that i live is because of that um but it's definitely hard without a father figure in the home yeah what was that in prison for um he was my dad was in prison for a bunch of robberies you know growing up that's i guess was he in a gang yeah my dad was also from florence uh as well uh my brothers my sisters basically all of us except for my mom mom was the one that stuck to working two jobs to try to you know feed us and keep us you know in a straight line but at the end of the day it's like you know you you you go for what you want to do it's not you know how far are you in school um i actually got a ged but i did uh get my ged through the prison system um on the streets i went to maybe like seventh seventh grade maybe eighth grade and then it was basically i went to juvenile hall from there like i was a kid gone like you know what i mean i was living the streetlights so the gang stuff started for you early uh 13 years old you know i was being intrigued by the lifestyle and kind of uh amazed by it and just basically went you know went at it went towards it instead of actually trying to live a different life like that was what was in my in my future i guess you know the idea of being uh anything else in life um coming to your head like honestly at a young age i didn't really think about no career i really didn't think about what i wanted in the future i really didn't think about my future to be honest with you it was just day for day that i was living um that's that's what happened basically i ended up you know you're down in florence which yeah florencia is one of the most notorious gangs yeah that's where that's where i'm from you know um basically like i said at a young age that's that's what caught my attention and that's what i ended up you know becoming a part of how it didn't take long for you to go to prison um no i mean it's it took as long as me to turn the legal age to go you know what i mean like i at the end of the day like i started going to juvenile halls real young at the age of 13 14 going in and out you know my first time going i actually juvenile hall sounds nice but it's actually just jail for kids right right that's a jail for kids you know once i've seen that it wasn't actually as bad as the way people make it seem you know like growing up they're like oh this and this and this happens which it probably does to certain individuals that allow that to happen uh myself you know i went in with somebody else as well with me and we kind of like you know he he put me up on game on our way to juvenile hall hey you know what this is what you got to do don't be scared you know just do your thing and i did and i kind of like i said i learned that it wasn't as bad as the way people explained it if you don't allow that to take place is jail and later in life prison kind of like a rite of passage for you guys uh what do you mean is it just like a badge of honor um i mean at the end of the day it's like you know everybody like growing up in this lifestyle myself i don't want to speak for everybody but myself i kind of looked up to like i wanted to go just to experience you know what everybody else is you know they say you know you get home you get a lot of love you get a lot of respect you get you know it's just it's something that i kind of like spoke into existence or just actually just walked in to get walked into it being part of you know my lifestyle who were your role models as a kid my dad my dad was my role model but he was he was in prison yeah he was in prison but he was still my role model you know my dad you know as far as i can remember my dad would send letters but my dad would encourage me to stay away from life to stay away from the gangs and you know don't get myself caught up and for me to listen to my mom like he didn't sit there and try to make me be part of the gang or join the that lifestyle but at the end of the day it's like you can't tell somebody to do something when you did it yourself or you're in that position like so i can remember my dad sending drawings home from prison sending us cups you know with artwork on the cups tupperware like and all that you know was was fascinating to me all that was really like intriguing so i i you know and i didn't even have to go look for it like it just basically came to me what was your what was your first gang activity as a young kid what'd you get into um so like at the beginning you know me growing up 13 years old i ended up getting caught for three stolen vehicles and one day it's funny because you know um i got caught basically it was like breakfast lunch and dinner i got caught early in the morning for you know joyriding being in a stolen car at that age they know that you're a kid and you're you know bound to be getting in trouble so they released me to like the custody of my mom you know she had to pick me up or whatnot on the scene actually like they didn't even take me to the station nothing it was basically get your son get out of here lunch time again i was arrested for another stolen vehicle um and again they basically kicked me out to my mom and to you know here get your son keep him off the streets punish him do whatever you got to do but we don't want to see him out here again my mom took me home and you know at the end it was night time you know somebody called me up hey bro like you know can you go with me to go pick up my aunt oh and this and that i'm like yeah i got you whatever so i jump in the car with them thinking everything's cool and there'll be another stolen car and i end up going to jail this time the cops pull up mom gets there they told her luck just go home he's going to jail so this time i ended up going to juvenile hall i didn't stay there that long but it was my entrance to seeing what the juvenile system was like how much time have you spent in bars that time or just like or just in your whole life i've pretty much been in incarcerated more than half of my life so i just been in and out doing the halls camps every every everything i just touched basically a lot of different places what's more treacherous for you uh the streets or or prison um i think like the streets and and prison are basically the same except for the streets you have more space you know the um prison system it's a lot more closed so it's like you you can't get around the way you get around out here on the streets you know what i mean it's just a different it's a different atmosphere but still basically the same like everything anywhere you go the streets is dangerous prison is dangerous like you know being the fact like prison it can go from you having a year left on your time and you could end up doing the rest of your life in there something just ends up happening you know what what kind of craziness have you gotten into in the streets yeah i actually got shot when i was 18 years old i had barely turned 18 years old i was shot five times with an ak-47 uh i was in a coma for two months um man i have like a missing spleen a missing kidney i had like a half a pancreas half a liver both my lungs collapsed my aorta was torn um one of the nurses came in when i first got shot and wanted to take off like the two like not the tubes but uh the like attachments that i had basically on me and she said oh we're going to walk you i want to walk you and i was like i couldn't talk cause i had a tube in my mouth tube in my throat like on my side and i'm like trying to explain to her like i can't walk yet you know i'm not ready to walk she didn't listen to me but like i said i couldn't talk so basically it was like one of these like no trying to explain to her she didn't listen she followed up kept taking off everything sat me up and when she sat me up a air bubble rushed to my head and i passed out i basically died in front of them uh the doctor came in brought me back said that i was purple or blue or whatever once he brought me back you know they asked me to move like a certain part side of my body honestly i kind of get confused or like it's hard for me to remember what side but it was like one of my sides i was paralyzed from either my right side or my left side but what he did was say like oh move your right hand so i moved it move your right leg i moved it then he went to like hey move your left arm and your left leg and i couldn't like it wouldn't budge so what they had to do was basically uh take me to the long beach memorial hospital they put me in a diver's tank where i was at an angle um i remember them putting a like uh they had like a roll tv they rolled over the tank where they put on the movie like i think it was something about mary or something like that they put the movie on within five minutes i was out i was gone sleeping so i guess they i don't know if they gassed the thing or they what it is that they do but they put you to sleep uh they brought me out again he told me to move move your right hand move your right leg and i was able to and move the other side and i couldn't so they put me back in the second time they brought me out i was able to move my right and my left both sides so basically they popped that air bubble that went to my brain um due to the fact that i don't know if it was because of how fast she sat me up or whatever it was i was not ready to do what she wanted me to do which was walk you know and um yeah i thank god i was able to you know overcome that and i'm able to move both my hands both my legs now and you know i'm still i'm still here yeah did you ever consider the fact that you know the doctors and nurses worked so hard to save you and they were successful only to have you go back on the streets and probably reoffend right you know at the moment it's it's so crazy because at the moment you know i had my people coming in to visit me at the hospital uh one of my friends you know he had a low rider a nice really nice car that i would always tell them oh let's go cruising but he would always be like oh you know i'm busy or this and that he came to see me and he's like hey bro when you get out we're going to go cruising in my car and i told them no because my mind was like i can't you know i have to get home and survive now you know but it didn't go as planned i got out and i actually i feel like i kind of got worse after that because i felt like okay the banana clip didn't drop me you know what can what could stop me now like let's go and it just man it turned into a world of of trouble after that you know what i mean not necessarily after that but just it continued i kept on with my lifestyle i didn't just say hey i'm you know throwing in the towel i'm giving up or nah it's like i feel like it kind of made me made me an angry person you know it escalates doesn't it for sure like it just after that you know i went to prison right after that i wasn't even home for like long enough to do basically anything i was in a wheelchair for a little bit one of my friend's uh wife's actually came to my house to put a sheet around me because the doctor said i was going to be paralyzed you're not going to be able to walk um that was a lie because i'm walking you know my boy's uh wife came through out after the wheelchair we went from she her picking me up tying the sheet around me kind of taking baby steps to that went to like two days and then went into a walker i walked on the walker for a couple days then i was up and running you know and i ended up uh getting caught for a pistol uh sending sent to prison um yeah that was my that was the beginning basically of my prison term was me uh getting caught with a gun i ended up taking a six-year joint suspension which basically means those six years stay over your head uh if you catch another case that's my attorney explained to me if i caught another felony case i'll go do the six years plus whatever that felony carry that's not how it happened i ended up getting a tattoo on my throat which is this f-13 year and they gave me six years for the tattoo so i didn't even have to catch a felony to go do those six years which i was expecting you got time for a tattoo i got six years originally the time is for the gun you know and that's how they look at it like you're not doing time for that you're doing time for the gun that we basically gave you that joint suspension for so my tattoo i was on uh gang supervision probation i guess that was a violation you know they came to my house they found sweaters that had my gang on it pictures of myself and you know other people my homies and they ended up yeah if you have florencia and f-13 all over your body you're you're asking for trouble yeah and at the end of the day it's like i mean i'm filled up with tattoos like it didn't stop me because i went and did that time and while i was doing that time i got more tattoos you know i filled up basically my body you know what i mean but being a kid i you know i went in young and i feel like it was basically the right time for me to go anyways you know at the end of the day like i i learned i sat there and and worked out got myself in shape uh yeah basically like it was it was a blessing and a curse at the same time i feel you know what what is behind all the violence and the typical gang behavior is it just the testosterone and young men that yeah i feel like you know people are caged up you know what i mean they're they're they're mr families they miss their girlfriends they're they're um some people have 25 years some people have 18 years but even on the street oh on the street like even on the street you know um where's this come from all this game it's it's it's hard to say i feel like you know this is stuff that's been happening way before us so once you join you basically earn that hate towards the next person that's been going at it with your homies or they're going at it with these people and like especially if somebody hurts one of my people like one of my boys that i grew up with you you earned you basically it just is it just human nature were meant to be in packs um i feel i kind of feel that way at the end of the day i feel like you know even watching national geographic you see the way the lions move they move with their with their squad of who they you know i i recently watched i can't i really can't remember the name but it's it's about these lions they don't they basically they're brothers or whatever whatnot and they move together and fight fight fight till the end for territory for just everything you know what i mean like food survival you know so at the end of the day i feel like that it might have to be like that for everybody yeah sometimes i think it's just human nature too right it just comes whether you're a country or a street gang doesn't matter yeah like it just just comes with it what was your favorite childhood memory um my favorite childhood memory would probably be with my grandfather he passed away he was a good man um him and my grandma were married for i don't know 40 50 years or whatnot uh he was a really really really good person he would if we would see a bike that we wanted on the street like somebody a kid with it we didn't have it to where i could say hey go buy me that bike but what my grandfather would do would drive off in his truck because he was real hands-on building he can make you whatever you basically wanted he could fix any car uh he was just a beast with his hands um he would drive get in his truck drive around find a bike frame that's just sitting in the alley or sitting on the street he would take that go home sand it go to the bike shop buy wheels whatever pieces to the bike that he needed he would make sure he gets them when i would get home from school if i told him this morning oh look i like that bike he wouldn't say anything oh yeah it's nice me oh boom we get to the school go to school when i get home that bike would be sitting there you know like maybe not the same exact bike but it looked damn near similar really close and he was the one to make that happen like that always will remain with me and all the stuff that he basically embedded in our heads which was positive more positive than anything else because he was like i said he was a really good man my grandfather rest in peace do you have kids yes i have three kids were you around to raise them um so like the only one i got to actually seen born was my middle son his name is music don i was home i was with the girl at the time like relationship wise when he was born so i was in the hospital i got to cut the cord like everything that took place with with him being born i named him i named him music don so um he he's basically like my only son that i was able to see being born my firstborn um i hit the system when his mom was pregnant like a week week pregnant you know like so i had to actually see him being born basically while i was in the system um my last kid is my daughter um she's still a baby she's uh you know four years old going on five years old or whatnot she uh i didn't get to see her born because we were dealing with a whole bunch of you know relationship problems and it got it got kind of bad with the whole separation or whatnot but um yeah you know i i try whatever i can to be in in you know my children's life one of them was taken away from me basically from mother like just basically left and haven't heard anything from them but they're my kids i love my kids to death you know and i feel like you know it took my son my oldest son a little while to realize whatever is going on with their mothers and myself is not doesn't have anything to do with them you know and my son once he was able to say hey i want to meet my dad like not meet him but basically i want to see my dad i want to be around my dad then the mother basically was put in a position to where there's nothing she could say but say hey here you know so you know i have a relationship with them um a few like two of my kids i haven't really been you know seen them as much as i would want to or as much as i should be but you know i feel like i said with my oldest son he kind of realized i need to see my dad you know so i kind of let him let them sort out their selves you know instead of me trying to put pressure or hey this or blame each other or it's i'm over that you know what's what's been the hardest thing you've had to deal with in your life um my health um i want to say my health dealing with my health is is just definitely been a bumpy you know road from a gunshot from the gunshots that you know later on just you know it's been a long time since i got shot but at the end of the day i still have complications and you know deal with certain stuff that i'm have that i'm i have to go to the hospital for certain things at certain times so i want to say that's probably been the hardest for me i'm sure you've inflicted some of the same kind of pain on other people you know i mean growing up as a kid it's like so much stuff happens you know and at the end of the day it's like i'm not proud of anything like i'm not you know people people fight for their for their you know for their people for their you know streets or you know what i mean so it's it's been like i said a bumpy road both sides you know what i mean at the end of the day like i'm here still i'm alive you know and that's that's the that's the blessing the good part of it you know live by the sword and die by the sword it's it's crazy man do you believe in karma oh yeah i believe i believe in karma i believe you know i just feel like it it can it doesn't have to be the same thing if you do something to somebody that doesn't have to the karma doesn't have to hit you back the same way it could be in a different form absolutely you know what i'm saying you could be put in jail for something you didn't do and that's your karma for something you did i think you carry around the subconscious guilt right and you're just waiting for you're going to do something to bring it yeah at the end of the day it's like you know what i mean stuff happens for a reason i feel you know you ever you ever wonder what your life would have been like if you'd grown up in like connecticut or kansas or something like that i actually grew up in one of the most dangerous parts of la right yeah i grew up in south la so you know like it's it's kind of hard to picture growing up somewhere else only because that's all i really knew that's all i really know you know have you ever left l.a um to be in prison basically that's that's the only time i really left and and lived anywhere else pretty much no like that's where i've been since i was a kid like um there's a whole world out there right you know what i mean it's like i feel like i just wonder if you like as a kid if you had traveled to europe or right asia or something i've never really traveled until basically now that i'm a little bit older that you know like i do i do music and whatnot so now i'm able to to get out a little bit and enjoy other parts of what's here you know like i i never had the opportunity before because i was young and like i said involved in everything that was going on in my area so at the end of the day it's like i didn't have time for anything else other than that you know are there i'm gonna go back to the karma conversation we just had are there are there things that you've done that you take with you as you put your head on a pillow at night um that you uh i mean i feel like everything that's been done in my life you know i i like i said i started really young and i got myself in a lot of trouble i feel like i i've paid for a lot of the things that i've done and it's like now that i'm on a better track and trying to focus in on on myself and a better me i feel like i've done basically my time for that i've suffered from being shot and living that lifestyle and now it's like it's a i don't want to say a fresh start because that's always going to stay with you like the way you look the way you grew up it's always going to stay you know i mean that's not going away but if you ask me i'm a better person today i'm able to wake up and you know i'm not going to sit here and say i i just go wherever i want because like i said again look at the way i look streets they don't care if you feel like you're changing or doing a better better deed in life stuff still happens so i still watch myself i still carry myself with the mentality that i grew up with is to keep myself in in line and you know safe yeah i mean you must know when you're getting all these face tattoos of i brought that upon myself on yourself yeah and you you knew that was coming no for sure and i feel like you know i started young with the tattoos on my face as a kid i was you know 13. i was 14 i believe when i put my first tattoo on my chin i had a f-13 um they just kept on and i felt like it wasn't did you explain what f13 fs f13 is florence you know that's what thirteen's potential that's what i was yeah it's that's the gang total like f13 florence you know so what 13 is what it's it's it's it's our number you know our number like 13 signifies uh uh mexico right south like us the south yeah okay right so we um basically you know i feel like the tattoos kept going like i wanted more i wanted more and i i wanted to stand out from everyone else i didn't want to look like the next guy i wanted myself to be different and you know little by little it was like oh i need one here this one don't look right it looks empty here this needs to match this siding bro look how i look now you know it's like i i went through a whole bunch of pain getting these tattoos and a lot of them were in prison so you know a lot of people are like damn when i step into certain places they're like how much have you spent on tattoos money-wise and i'm like a couple cases of soups a couple you know bags of beans some rice you know like like in prison it's like we look out for each other you do my whole back tattoo bro and i got you i'll send you a package that's exactly how i got my whole tattoo done one of the homies that the tattoos he didn't have much he was like hey you know you bless me and i'll bless you like he got he had really good work so i had him do my whole back i sent him a package i reached out to my family hey can you send this person a package you know it had roast beef cans deodorant soaps whatever it was that he needed he gave me a list of the stuff he needed and i got it from in prison in prison yeah you know because we were able to get packages at that time what would you say is the most important thing you've learned in your life um how old are you um i'm 40 now i just turned 40 a couple days ago right i would say the most important thing in life is what what you've learned in life um trust it's like trust is i'm really big on trust you know it has to be basically earned um it's hard to trust anyone now you know your closest people your any anybody can basically turn on you you know females that you deal with i've dealt with females that you know now it seems like they're my enemies and at one time in life me and you were tight you were my best friend i i did this for you you did that for me since it didn't work out now we're enemies and it's like it shouldn't be like that you know at the end of the day it's like okay things didn't work out work out there's a lot more people in this world that you can go try to find someone a lot is made of how men are violent and dangerous and all that but i think women can be just as scandalous and treacherous oh yeah especially nowadays before i feel like the women were a little bit different a lot of the like you know my sister my mom they're different from the women that are out today and i can see that you know what i mean like i noticed that why because i've been with women back then and i've been with women now and i see the difference and the change in them which i understand that they've probably been through a lot dealing with men dealing with abusive people like you know that's one thing i've never done and i'll never do is put my hands on a female i learned that from my dad you know my dad his exact words would be if if you hit a what does that make you excuse my language but that's that was his words to me and it made a lot of sense to me it stayed with me you know i'm like you hit somebody that's this like not low but females they don't have the strength we have they don't have you know the the testosterone that a man has it's different you know god made them different from us for a reason they're feminine and i feel like you know you put your hands on a woman then you lower yourself under that you're feminine you know but to each his own people do it hey if that's how you were you know raised or brought up or you feel like you need to let out your your anger i mean i'm not here to stop anybody from doing anything anyways but if it comes down to that myself i don't agree on that you know like and i won't ever do it has the gang presence or the gang life deteriorated since you were younger um i mean i want to say like over the years things change different different uh times you you were around during the drive-by era yeah i've been around i've been around since my when i when i joined i was uh 13 that was like um maybe like 95 96 so all that was basically kind of toning down already but it was around like you know what i mean stuff like that did happen you know what i mean and it was it was rough it was rough growing up in that in that time yeah how has it changed now um i i want to say just the the the generation of people um the solidness the um trust again is is completely different you know a lot of integrity yes i would say that too i just feel like you know um i'm not saying that all the generation now is tore up or messed up or there's still solid people that you know what i mean but it's just like a lot of what goes on now is not what probably would have been going on back then and it's just i mean i can't even pinpoint and say this this this that it's just there's so much difference you know have you mellowed with age um like calm down basically yeah i i'd say a lot like um you know with my music career now like i kind of want to do that like and you know the good thing about it is that my people my friends my homies that i grew up with respected and appreciated and pushed me to do that instead of you know people looking down on you hey like you're not trying to be out here doing this and that like people are more for it and willing to help me get further by oh hey you know what look we got these cards you can use for your music video we got you know these girls that you you know maybe put this girl in your video like that type of stuff it's like encouraging and motivating and i'm really you know blessed to have that that you know that and people embrace that you know like it's it's hard to actually be that way a lot does it feel good to be creating something that maybe helps someone in some way with music your music yeah than what you used to do you know like it's i assume you're still active but you're just like well like i kind of look at it like it's not even about the activeness because my face and my the way i look is gonna have me in that box forever for the rest of my life you know i'm not out there running around acting a full getting in trouble no more if that's what's what we're asking uh but i'm still me i'm still good with my homies they love me i love them you know what i'm saying uh i feel like with my with my music that i do now i give a message a lot of i went to jail on a violation my probation officer basically violated me and said that hey you know what he did an album he wasn't supposed to be doing the album he talked about his gang or whatnot basically he made it seem like i was promoting the gang lifestyle um i look at it like i'm telling my story so at the end of the day it's not about promoting or glorifying or doing this i'm speaking my story of everything that i've been through and it's up to the kids nowadays to take that message and say hey this is what i gotta go through if i wanna live like this or i don't wanna live like this i wanna do the right thing and stay away from getting shot five times with an ak i wanna stay away from going to prison forever you know it's like and it took me years to be able to to learn this you know what i mean at the end of the day it's like okay i lived a rough life now it's like i want to be able to bless other people with that knowledge that i didn't really have growing up to know that there's other outlets there's ways to you know what i mean maneuvering and still live and enjoy your life so with all these face tattoos what kind of reactions do you get from people when you walk into a liquor store or grocery store or something like that it's it's actually a trip i like this question because so many times i've gotten i mean i get both i get negative and positive faces from different people and the way people look at me the good thing about it is me seeing their expression once they talk to me once they see who i am once they see i'm not what they think it's a it's a beautiful feeling because it's like okay you thought you were gonna hear this or when people reach out to me on social media and they're like hey and i respond they're like i didn't think you were gonna respond or i thought you were gonna be mean or i thought you know and i'm like i'm just like you you know what i mean i got tattoos okay cool you know there's just like some people born you know a certain way a certain color a certain anything we're all human at the end of the day and it's like it's a blessing once they get to you know interact with me and communicate with me it's it's it's a beautiful thing to see the the change in from five minutes ago [Music] all right baldacci thank you so much for sharing your story thank you so much i appreciate you for having me mark i wish you the best of luck thank you sir thank you appreciate it you

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Length: 35min 22sec (2122 seconds)

Published: Tue Mar 08 2022