- [Mark] Alright, Sergio.
- Yeah? - [Mark] Sergio, tell me about your life, tell me where you grew up. - [Sergio] Well, I grew up
right here by Echo Park. (sirens and honking) Childhood was... normal I guess. Both my parents were alcoholics, so growing up there wasn't too
much supervision, you know? So I got to do like, I mean, I got to do whatever I wanted, stay out, and they care, or they were
just too drunk to care. Besides, I wouldn't want to be at home. My dad would beat my mom, you know? So I, you know, I joined a gang. - [Mark] What age? - I was still in junior high,
so I think I was like 13. - [Mark] Yeah. - 13. - [Mark] Which gang? - Headhunters. - [Mark] Headhunters? - Yeah. - [Mark] That's a Hispanic gang? - It's a Hispanic gang, yeah. And you know, I joined a gang. I did what gang members do, you know? I go to juvenile hall, my
first time I get arrested. I was like 15, I got
arrested for a firearm. I get out. Then like a month later,
three weeks later, I get arrested for attempted murder. It gets dropped down to
assault with a deadly weapon. I do like a year off for that in camp, juvenile camp.
(loud sirens) Then at 17, at 17, I feel like, like I need money, you know? Like I see all my other homies, like, you know, having to steal cars, whatever. So I wanted money, too. And the easiest way I could
make money, I had a gun, so the easiest way I could
make money is doing robberies. And so my first robbery, I remember my first robbery was, it was a Little Caesars. Those were my favorite targets, Little Caesars or Subways, 'cause they're always like
hidden, like in a cut. They're, you know, small
little establishments where I could go by myself. In and out, right? And so I remember the first one I was... I did it, it was like,
I was nervous at first. And then it just became easy. And then it just became
like, like too easy. And it was never a lot of
money, $500, you know, 300. - [Mark] Yeah, but you
were getting away with it. - I was getting away with it, and... - [Mark] How many did you do? - Countless.
- [Mark] Really? - Oh yeah.
- [Mark] Wow. - At 18, a month after my 18th birthday, I get arrested for robberies,
for doing those robberies. You know, I get caught with a gun. They're charging me for robberies. I mean, I'm 18 years old,
I just turned 18 years old. I'm in a County jail. And so I'm fighting my case, they offer me 12 years
as a deal, as you know, as a deal to take for the robberies. And I take it. So I'm 18. I'm looking at 12 years. For me, 12 years at 18
might as well had been life. You know, like, I was doing the math. I was, I'm gonna get out
when I'm 30, 30 something. So I was there, and I was gonna, I was going to walk on eggshells, right? So I get to prison, and I'm one of those
kids that wants to like, wants to participate, you know? I believe in (foreign language), in our, the thing we have
established in prison, right? Our Southern Hispanics. So... I started doing, I start, you
know, doing stuff in prison. Little stabbings here,
little stabbings there. I see... I see one of my good friends, actually, I used to work out with him in the yard. He has to, you know, it's his turn. It's his turn to go on a mission, right? To earn his stripes or whatever. And so, during shower time, he... It's his celly who was actually
going to be the victim. So they go out and, and there's a porter. They're like janitors, right? They're inmates. He calls my friend's
celly, calls him over. And when he's walking
over to him, my friend, he starts, you know,
stabbing him or whatever. They both start stabbing this guy. And the tower, he's
running showers, right? So he's running showers, he's doing this little shower thing. And I guess he hears, like, locomotion. So he comes, he runs from
where he was at, C Section, he runs to B Section with no... It was just... I wouldn't even expect
it, but he gets his rifle, mini 14, and he shoots my buddy, you know? He shoots my buddy in the head. I remember just one
second seeing him do this to his cellmate, and then the next second he was just on the floor. - [Mark] And the guard shot him? - Yeah, the guard shot him,
shot him dead in the head. And my whole time, I had already
been in prison four years. So my whole time in prison had
been like, yeah, this is fun. But when that happened, I was like... Welcome to prison. You know, like, it had
finally hit me that, man, like, that could happen to me, 'cause I do that kind of stuff, you know? So anyways, it just gave me
something to think about. Anyway, so... You know, I continue my prison term. Like five years in, I still
need, like, seven years. Something like that. I'm in my early twenties. So yeah, there's this big guy, right? He a big homie. He needs, he asks me for a favor. And those are the kinds of
guys that you, you're like, this is who you bleed for, you know? Like, they tell you to
do something, you do it. Because, you know, they're
the big dogs, right? So I was like, I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm flattered and whatnot. So, you know. It was summertime, it was
like 2009, 2010 summertime. Hot as hell. And, you know, I see my victim. Some guy from somewhere. Me and my crimey, the one
I was gonna do it with, we see him getting out of work. 'Cause he worked at the Program Office. You know, like, typing stuff out. And so... We, when he's about to
go inside the building, in the prison yard, we just
start attacking him, you know? And I remember feeling tired. I remember while I was, while we were stabbing him, like, I remember like, thinking, "Man, where the fuck is the cops at? "Why haven't they rang the alarm yet? "Why haven't they rang the alarm?" I was so tired. I remember sweating
and just tired as hell. And I was like, wondering where the f-... Like, it doesn't, it
shouldn't take this long for the alarm to sound, you know? And it finally sounds.
(mimics prison alarm) And I still can't stop until
I get sprayed, you know? So I see these correction
officers running toward me. And when they're about to spray me, like, I try to throw them the
shank, the prison shank. I try to throw it. Anyways, I get pepper sprayed. This guy, he gets stepped 37 times. I go to seg. After that, they sent me
to the hole, of course. Then I go to a segregated
housing unit for three years. For three years. And so for three years I
was in a cell by myself. I'll go to yard. My yard was a cage, like
a dog kennel cage, right? It was smaller than my cell. Just enough so I could
pace back and forth. Like, maybe like, three
steps this way, you know. And probably like nine steps that way. I don't know. It was small, right? Anyways, we're all going to the yard. So I'm just there. And for three years,
reading, that's all I did. Read books. Read books and watch a little bit of TV. I got released. I got released from the seg
housing unit, I go back to GP. My last two years in prison,
I started doing drugs. I don't know why. I was like so close to my
release, it was so close. I started doing drugs. I started doing heroin. Heroin and crystal in prison. And the prison, like,
you're either going to eat, or you're going to do drugs. You can't do both, you know? So I was getting myself in debt. Getting myself in debt and debt and debt. And as a Southern Hispanic guy, I can't buy drugs from any other race. I could buy drugs from the white people, but not from a black, not from... You know, it's very racial. And so, but I'm not giving a fuck. I'm not giving a fuck. I'm buying drugs from whoever
sells it to me, right? And I'm like, so close to going home. Because the whole time in prison, I had lived my life in prison not thinking about my
release date, you know? Like I was just doing it as if
I didn't have a release date. Thinking back now, I'm like, wow. I can't... I don't think I'd
be able to do that shit, again. But anyways, I racked up like a $700 debt. And in prison, that's a
lot of money, you know? Especially if you're
owning all types of races. Now your own people want
to get you, you know? 'Cause you're breaking the rules. So I'll be at yard. A year left in my prison
term, my 12 year prison term. And I remember like having a, you know, every day before going to yard I would put a fucking knife up my
ass, and go to the yard, and go to the pisser, pretend
like I'm taking a piss. Look up at the tower, make
sure he's not looking at me. Pull that mother fucker out, and tie it up to my
shorts, my draw string. And I remember being, like
walking around the track, in prison, and looking
at my people, right? The Southern Hispanics, and thinking like, "Which one of those is going
to be the ones to get me?" For, you know, doing what I was doing. But, you know, thank goodness
nothing came out of that. I had my celly actually,
he helped me pay the debt. Like, like the day I went,
the day before I got released. - [Mark] Wow, that's nice of him. - Yeah, the day before. 'Cause I was, cause I told him like, "Hey, I owe this money." And I didn't wanna, I didn't
want to leave the prison yard feeling like I had to sneak
away like a weasel, you know? Like, I had a debt and I couldn't pay it. But I was going to try it, you know? And so I'm telling my celly about it. And he's, you know, he's in prison. He does his little hustles
in prison, so he had money. He pays my debt, you know,
the day before I got released. So... I walk out the cell, like, not feeling... Because who knows, I
could've came back, you know? I was going to get out,
there's no telling, I could come back, and what? I still gonna owe that money, you know? Anyway, so I get released. And I start my new life out
here in the streets, again. The last time I had been
out here was when I was 18. Now I'm 31, not knowing
what the fuck to do. Both my parents are dead. My brother's down in San Diego. So what can I do, right? I have no work history. I never had a job in my life. Other than the little prison ones I had. The ones in prison, I mean. So it was a struggle, right? The only thing I could do
is sell drugs, you know. I'm not trying to do no more robberies. They gave me 12 years on
the first one, you know? So I see selling drugs as... less of a risk, less risky. You know, do less time if I get caught. So... I was, that's how I was surviving for the first year I was out. Until like, until I got arrested. I got arrested a year
later after I get released. And they gave me four years for a firearm and having possession of
controlled substance, crystal meth. So now I'm in my second prison term. I'm 32 years old, have to do four years. And I'm like, you know, like
I'm back in prison, you know? A place that I didn't think
I was going to come back to. I go to prison, and I was at Calipatria. My first month there... Like I had done 12 years
and yeah, I would see a lot of people get stabbed and
stuff like that, beat up. But like, other than
probably like two people that actually got killed
in the 12 years that I did, like that I seen, actually,
that I'd actually seen? Two people who got killed. In this prison I was in, in Calipatria, my first month there some guy died, some guy gets stabbed to death, right? And they don't put us lockdown. They resume program like a few days later. And the following week, another guy dies. And I'm thinking like, all right, I've only been here like
a month, month and a half. And two people already died. Like, where the fuck am I at, right? Like, I only got four years
to do, like, you know? But I believe in this
shit, though, you know? I sacrificed a lot for,
you know, for this. But it's something... I think
about it, though, you know? And so, in those yards, like, everybody participates, you know? There's no like, "Oh,
I'll pass," you know? Nah, you're there, you
have to participate. So... I'm there. I'm just trying to lay
low for the most part. And yeah. Nothing much happens, like... To think about it, that was
like the most violent prison I had been to, like ever. And I've been to like
nine different prisons. That was like the most violent one. I've been out from that
term, from my second term. I've already been out
six months, seven months. So now I'm just... I'm just out here trying
to survive, you know? - [Mark] So you've been out a while now? - Like almost a year, like
not quite a year, yet. - [Mark] You still have
contact with your gang? - Yeah. That's the only family you have, you know? Those are the only family I have. Like there's, I have no other family. And there are a few, not
a lot, not a lot of it. And so I, I hold on to that, you know? I'm 35 years old and I'm
walking around baldheaded with tattoos everywhere still, you know? I'm not saying I'm out there gang banging, but I still represent who I am, you know? Because that's all I have. That's all I have. I have nothing else. - [Mark] Do you regret... Do you regret taking that
direction in life, years ago? - I mean, if I could do it all over again, I would do some things
different, you know. But out... - [Mark] There weren't a
lot of options for you. - There not...
- [Mark] In that neighborhood. For that neighborhood, for
the neighborhood you grew up. - Yeah, yeah. There was no option. - [Mark] There was no doctor,
lawyer, role models like that. - Nah. And me as a drop out... So I just, I joined the street gang. Now I'm 35 years old thinking
like, fuck, is this it? But I love it though. Like, I love it. I wouldn't trade this for anything. I wouldn't trade this shit for nothing. I rather be out here fuckin' in skid row then in prison any day, you know? So I'm grateful for that. - [Mark] And you have no kids? - I actually have my first. I have one, a son, he's a newborn. - [Mark] Oh really? - Yeah, he's a newborn. But I... Not really, I haven't been. Like, I tried, but I haven't been. CPS, Child Protective, they took the kid. Because the mother of
my baby, she got caught. You know, she tested
dirty when she gave birth, she was under the influence
of drugs, you know? So they took the baby. And... It's been tough. And you know, there's no way. Right now, I can't... I can't get my baby back right now. The way I'm living? Like I don't have... you know? So... Yeah, it's... I know he's safe. I know he's... he's good. It's just... If I do have any regrets,
it's that, you know? Not being there for my son. As I should be, you know. It fills me with shame. Like, you know, even my
parents, my parents were drunks, they were drunks, alcoholics, but... They, you know, they... When I needed them, they
were there, you know? When I needed... And to think that I
can't do that for my son. It's tough, you know. - [Mark] Are you using?
- Yeah. - [Mark] Currently? Which one? - Man, I'm doing it all, man. (sirens blaring) Cocaine, crystal. PCP. A little bit of heroin. A little bit. I really don't like that high. But... At first, I used to do drugs because it felt good and
it was fun, you know? Now I do the drugs just to... Just to not feel, you know? Just to like... ah, who cares? It could be worse, you know? So yeah, it helps. It helps. It's cold out there. It's cold out there at night. And you know, doing a little bit of meth, slamming a little bit of meth warms me up, you know, it really does. It makes me sweat, you know? Be like three in the morning
and I'm sweating, you know? 'Cause it's cold out there. And yeah. I'm a good worker, I found out I'm good at work. I like working. But can't get hired anywhere. - [Mark] All right Sergio. Well, thank you so much for
coming and talking with me. Thank you.
