Skinhead interview-Psycho

all right psycho yes psycho where'd you grow up where are you from original mercedes san fernando valley tell me about your family growing up um i don't remember much i left home when i was 14. um my mom she was running around with a lot of hells angels and bikers so i was raised up around a lot of drug dealers you know a lot of bikers different boyfriends my mom had every day i didn't know my dad no um huh your mom was a biker chick yeah now the lush at a bar you know running around with different bikers you know how that goes how would you describe your childhood very rebellious very just a lot of hatred a lot of anger a lot of hostility you finished high school huh you finished high school no i got a ged on california youth authority in juvenile hall i left home when i was 13. so you stopped going to school at what age now i stopped going to school about 10. no i was at home most of the time by myself my mom worked and i mean she got home from work with different boyfriends beating on her that's all i just heard arguing with dudes or getting beat on no it's a lot of hostility a lot of anger a lot of hatreds but i grew up around you know a drug started for you at some point oh yeah yeah um crystal meth i ended up going to prison for manufacturing making crystal meth interstate drug trafficking i did 20 years straight i did four years in juvenile hall and california youth authority for drug dealing you know um i was going to prospect for hh but i went to prison good thing i didn't already know with life you know um i don't remember a lot most of my most of my bringing up when i was a kid was just a lot of madness you know a lot of chaos and i grew up real fast you know i thought drug dealing and all that was a thing to do you know i ended up with a lot of time i ended up you know getting into the skinhead thing you know i paroled validated gang member i just got off the gang gang file about a month ago you know i'm 53 now i'd be 54 in march so you were in a mexican gang huh you were in a mexican gang or no skinhead gang white gang skin game now no a lot of gang a lot of gangs you know so how is the skinhead gang different than the the black gangs of the mexican gangs uh just for your race you know they're all for the race you know because the kids make it a little more a little more racial you know yeah and in prison it's kind of a thing now yeah yeah becomes a very very race oriented yeah everybody's out in the shoe and out of the out of the hole so prison's gonna change you know not gonna be as peaceful i'm glad i got out you know i got my prison number in the into 88 i've been on parole for almost 10 years now i'm on probation but you have kids yeah i got a 24 year old daughter the money i got busted with but put in for a school and almost almost eight hundred thousand i paid for her school and she's now she's like a year away from being a um assistant rn registered nurse at on ucla medical center right you still have contact with her yeah you do yeah no i talk to her like once or twice a week she's with my sister over in reno las vegas i gave her up to my sister gave my sister custody well i couldn't take care of her so the so the meth background the the mom that messed my whole life up you know you must have some interesting stories yeah a lot of drug dealing a lot of money what kind of stuff have you seen huh tell me a story i mean i started i was dealing drugs for about five years um when i got out of ya i was out for like about maybe close to five years i mean i started off with ten dollars and i ended up getting busted with 52 pounds of crystal meth i taught myself how to cook how to make it you know thousands and thousands of dollars um i didn't even talk to people unless it was about money you know women fast cars motorcycles they took well i got busted they took my house my motorcycle everything i paroled homeless you know and i got busted again when i got out i was fighting this case my my mom and dad died my uncle died grandparents died so i was on the borderline of being suicidal you know i ended up going into a pill mods one in the county i ended up with an apartment i paid 33 a month in an apartment right now you know it's like a section eight over by six in alvarado you know i was homeless for about five years when i got out where are you staying over by beverly in fairfax you know where the goodwill is over there in hollywood yeah in the alley behind it i was in a tent you know i'm glad i ain't in the homeless out here in downtown in macarthur park oh my god bedlaws killing them you know um you have any friends huh do you have any friends not really man no i i pick and choose people i talk to i got a lot older i don't want to catch time you know everybody's on the fed and all thing you know people don't really i believe in loyalty and integrity still you know there's a lot of people i don't even want to talk to you good luck finding those things good luck finding those things down here yeah yeah you know this doesn't exist i don't think anymore it does but a lot of us don't come out i don't come out much you know i go from point a to point b you know do you have any regrets yeah i regret jim um i wish i could have did a different way you know someone went to school or did something with my life besides at least i got an apartment but if you had a dad maybe that might have helped you huh if you had a dad that might have helped you it might have helped i had to raise myself also i didn't really believe in a dad you know all the all the people that were supposed to be a dad were just beating on my mom you know i don't believe in hitting women but i wish i would have had a dad you know you've been in love before huh have you been in love before in love yeah you know my the mother of my child ended up taking a witness stand against me she ended up being informant for that for the police i was with her for almost four years she had my kid got high with me everything she they called the last witness for the prosecution and she took the stand she ended up being a snitch an informant see i know it froze i'll try to try here and there but women are with games now you know a lot of these women been through a lot so love's a hard word for me yeah for a lot of me my mom told me she loved me but she loved heroin more than me so i don't know i love you son but you got to find somewhere else to go so i left when i was almost 14. it's a month away from being 14. so your mom was a heroin addict yeah yeah are you still using today huh are you still using today i've used crystal you know crystal i'm not gonna lie you know right what does crystal do for you at this point you've been using it for a long time i think it keeps my mind stable you know it keeps me from having to feel my own you know my own emotions and stuff you know keep me from having nightmares like stuff i've done in prison a lot of stabbings no it's just how it is in there you know you don't have to really have a choice you got two choices in there you know i try to talk to these kids out here you know don't choose the way i went you know what do you worry about now at this point in your life what are you afraid of losing my apartment you know going back to prison i won't lose my apartment for nothing you know i told anybody you make me lose my apartment i'm going to go after them man so you're walking a very straight line now i'm trying to you know i could highlight a deal crystal here and there but you know when i have to you know but i'm not doing the stuff i used to do nickel and dime [ __ ] off and on very seldom you know other than i don't really trying not to do [ __ ] you know yeah are you are you self-destructive do you think not as much a little bit not the way i used to be you used to be much more i learned how to control it you know not a time bomb anymore that's basically what it is what emotions do you deal with you get angry or depressed or anxious stress anxious angry i see all the money people get and i want it again but i live right in 18th street hood you know my roommates his brother and all of them his brother runs 18th street out there in macarthur park i could do whatever i want out there but i see the money that they get a white person can't you know how it is over there we ain't got nothing coming over there so i'm not stupid you know like this money i'm gonna take and get food and clothes you know do some laundry no what has been the hardest part of your life the lowest point the lowest part of my life when i went to prison loss when the courts took everything i had and gave gave it all to her because i put the [ __ ] in my name i should have put it in somebody else's name so mine and her name she got everything she's under protective custody you know i'm not going to do anything to her you know yeah do you have any good memories not having a kid you know i did something at least my money went to something you know she still answers my call she don't really talk she don't say anything but she'll answer my call she'll say hi and bye and that's it but at least she answers my call you know i paid for her school and so i did something right you know other than that i really can't didn't do anything right you know whatever right is you know i wish i could have did it better you know wish i would have better role models for myself you know yeah you had no role models none they were all criminals and they all been imprisoned gangsters you know i thought that was a way of life and it ended up being even my own uncle told me he was in a shoe he's aryan brother and he told me you guys are just just me it's never been about loyalty or integrity or none of that [ __ ] it's been about money you guys are money signs if you ain't making money ain't [ __ ] you got to go you know i pretty much was stripped man i had a hells angels patch and all that [ __ ] you know they put me on a shelf i can't even call them anymore when i went to prison you can't they don't get put no money on your books i didn't have no no tv in my sale i did my last nine years of single cell status in a shoe no book no tv no nothing i just worked out meditating you're just isolated now i live like that like in my hou in my apartment i sit in my room like it's myself my roommate he knows better when i go in there he'll say you're busy he'll knock on the door you know even though it's open he'll [ __ ] make himself known you know i just i don't like a lot of people crowds it's really crowded over there you know i got a teardrop that's for killing one of the mexicans you know so a lot of them know what it is but what would you say is the most important lesson you've learned in your life not to make the mistakes i did you know to think before i act to think i used to just act without thinking no more jumping to conclusions or assuming anything or stepping on toes and taking every second as a blessing you know instead of thinking i was god you know because i had the money the money is the root of all evil man you know a lot of these people ain't even seen money or the amount of drugs i did or had i had garbage i got busted i had 52 pounds of crystals a lot of crystal a lot i had almost four million dollars cash on the courtroom table they took it all all but the money i had they let me put send that money give that money to my to my sister to pay for my daughter's schooling 740 000 paid for all her schooling i paid it all at once a lot her books she's about a year away 10 months away if you could have changed one thing about your the way you grew up what would you what would you change being a better man you know better dad or better father i wish i would have been there for my kid even she said i can't tell her anything she said i mean you're my father but you're not my dad you know there's a difference i'm a father because she came from me but i'm not her dad you know she thought i was in the military baby's mama told her showed her videos and me torturing the people and all that [ __ ] you know i thought all that was cool or the thing to do now people tell and all that i don't even care anymore at all do you feel like a lot of your life was just spent in the wrong direction yeah pretty much it was all just a [ __ ] fantasy something that something to control me i thought it was right kill the child molester stab a rapist somebody snitch kill him i'm not gonna do life no more i'm not i'm not giving giving them no i mean they took everything they took my mind you i just adapt i've learned to take every second as a blessing you should be into satanism and all that [ __ ] you know i give god a chance you know i don't know if you believe in god but all right psycho so we we uh we spoke since that last that first talk we did and uh you told me you'd be willing to tell me about some of the crazy things you've been through with some of the stories you've got to tell what to what do you want to share with me oh you know some of the stupid fights i've been in for the dumbest reasons you know um arguments about a dollar short or a day late it's just a lot of i look back a lot of nonsense you know a lot of chaos that i called on myself you know um because i wanted stuff my way and it never was my world you know but you know i just lived like that that's the wrong path i took you know i looked back a lot of money i had to have more and more money i never had enough money you know and i would do whatever i step on toes and i just created thousands of enemies uh people just did not want to even think about me because i was just i was trying to rake in money like like uh wall street you know i was on a torture thing for a while you know um people are especially like bullies and people that thought they were tough i was like i had like a thing for him you know um i just hate bullies you know i mean i was when i was younger my uncle he almost broke my nose in three places and i never did it again i'd hate bullies you know and you know i just tried my homeboy his old lady her sister for getting in getting her nose into it her husband and my cousin because it was all that they had their nose all i just tagged the whole family i said now you can watch me be on this dude for 72 hours i had his eyelids i got it out of a book that hitler used to use it um you know dental floss he hold their eyelids open and shine a light directly in their eyesight and from the lack of sleep in their eyes they go delirious when you say zip tie them you mean yeah just kind of like oh so like this one like this and i mean the more you move your arms the tighter they get you know to where they were cutting into this you know i get they were cutting into his wrist you know and i've seen all this blood i was like oh man i had to cut them off and they were already they were stuck in his flesh you know and uh my baby's mom ended up showing my daughter this video i forgot i videoed it and i forgot that it was in my stores and she had a key to my stores i forgot all about that she shared with my daughter this is your real dad you and i just looked at it last night the video i i burnt it you know why and i'm sitting there laughing i'm looking this way it wasn't funny you know you also told me your face used to be fully tattooed yeah i had a lot of political shield lightning bolts swazis my family crest back here um liking warship you had them removed yeah i promised my grandparents and you know i did it for my daughter too i don't want to see my face like that you know it's a lot of regrets on that face you know i earned them all to stab people for all of them child molesters rapists for what you know i didn't get in and out of it i got a whole i got extra time i turned seven years into 20 years with 85 percent because of raising my hand um a lot of they don't even answer my calls they said we're just taking your colors from you too much you know my answer is i mean you're if the person's probably get rid of the problem i just get rid of it well i guess what i'm doing after three days a person wants to leave the planet to get away from it i make him stop man um scared straight program um when they when the judge took everything from me when he seized all my stuff and i almost got rico acted you know that's what they do to like mafia dawns you know i'm like i'm a i'm a recording on a video away from being a regal actor you know my roommate got me back on the validation book for another seven years yesterday because he's he's in 18th street you know for um participating in other races for money and um doing too much racketeering all this [ __ ] you know because people talk you know i forget about that you know this i mean i'm in a mexican area i'm in a whole nother world the same cycles world this is their world and that's what it got me when i let my roommate trap the house up and for money you know i'd rather do that than rob people you know like or rip people off or [ __ ] you know like this kid he's like a friend of those naked it makes me sick watching him smoke this [ __ ] you know i look back on the [ __ ] i've done i laughed on how stupid it was now that i'm i mean i'm just snoring i used to slam a whole gram i have to see spock so i do like punter union shots of crystal i learned i taught myself i got it off of youtube they teach you how to make dope right on youtube tell you where to get this [ __ ] tell you how to get it sent to you it ain't the same as it used to be him i'm not trying to do life but you know taught me a lot you know a lot of them i have nightmares every night i wake myself up the thoughts are going to run through my head when i look at some of these dudes when they make me mad because i flash quick there's the real petty stuff that gets me the maddest because they people think of running a game a lot of the fee you know how the females do it they like to play you push your buttons a lot of them are into that [ __ ] that irritates you and i tell them you don't want to irritate me because i'm thinking i'm going to tell you what you now tell them what they're going to do and they think oh you were right yeah i was right the man was right you know i was doing this before a lot of these people were born and seen ain't [ __ ] me it's watered down you know i'm trying to go back to prison though you know because i got i'm institutionalized they don't even want to arrest me because they know i'm going to live better in there i get [ __ ] for free you know i could sit in a cell and stare on a wall for 24 hours for for years it doesn't bother me you it doesn't my mind adapts like that all right psycho well thank you so much for sharing your story yeah i wish you the best of luck yeah with your new direction now thank you thank you you

Channel: Soft White Underbelly

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Id: V60rO4LWGoc

Length: 22min 56sec (1376 seconds)

Published: Mon Dec 13 2021