Funny Dan's Dad Moments

I'm good tell my dad I love him yeah my my dad my dad who I've told you just come a little bit sorry sorry for ghosts sake I was talking about my dad good great about Oh God okay started thinking about paps he uh as I've said many times these Israeli and does not have full command of the English language god damn it oh so all I was gonna say was my dad is like the king of like not giving helpful answers to like multiple-choice questions huh like dad you want pizza or sushi tonight yes [Laughter] sushi it is yeah I've told you I don't have like actively working sweat glands right yes okay I do remember that doesn't make it any less weird now yeah no it's like I had will are practically free they do work I just have like malfunctioning sweat glands so I I really don't sweat unless I'm super super crazy crazy hot and then like even then I just I just glow I glow a little glisten yeah so what actually happens is I have [ __ ] heat strokes and I almost died oh my god yeah the first time it happened was when I was a little kid and my dad we were walking through Hershey Park together and it was like a blazing hot day and so like everybody's sweating except for me but my body temperature is like 105 degrees or whatever Smith and like fever temperatures yeah but I like I was always one of those kids that like I never wanted to bother anyone so if like something was bothering me I just would kind of like hold it in yeah and so finally I was like oh good and my dad was like we drove hours to get here you're fine like not in a mean way but just in the lake whoops he didn't know he was killing me and and everything went white it was the spookiest thing like I lost my vision completely yeah it was like it was what like people described in like early forms of epilepsy when they don't like actually have a seizure but they lose like vision and then like I just started shivering and we went back to the we went back to the hotel and I got like an insane fever of like a hundred whatever is very dangerous like 103 140 is like that and like my mom was super scared it was just a good family trip to Hershey place a good time great yeah but I survived and my dad much like he always did whenever he had a parenting snafu took me four pancakes and always well so [ __ ] son of [ __ ] shut up [ __ ] that sounds like that makes me think of my dad really sad yeah anytime I hear someone say broken English I think of my pops it's a really cute story but alright alright now I'm afraid to start it okay my dad saw a lot of like [ __ ] up [ __ ] in the war so like as soon as as soon as though it was over he was like I don't want to be in Israel anymore I'm super bummed out and depressed yeah so he had like it's like that classic like immigrant story he had like a hundred dollars in his pocket and he flew to America or he took a boat I can't remember and he was gonna take a Greyhound bus across the country to LA where he like had some friends or family or whatever mm-hmm but he was only in New York for a day and he was like trying to ride the subway around but he like couldn't figure out the subway because the New York subway is [ __ ] confusing a [ __ ] if you've never done it before so he didn't know where the a-train was he was on that he was at Columbus Circle on the 60th Street subway station and he saw a cute girl and he went up to her any aster in like broken English he was like do you know the way to the a-train and she was like well yeah that's actually the Train I'm taking so I'll show you where it is and that was my mom Oh like he just like super fell in love with her crazy hard like instantly and like at the end of the subway ride like when he got to his stop like my dad my dad is like super confident but not at all smooth so like he just like put his on he just knew he couldn't let her get away so he put his arm around her arm and he was like we're going to lunch and my mom like laughed at him and she was like oh no we're not but she was like I just came from lunch but here's my number it was like I'd never given my number to anybody before but I just got a cool vibe from him and and they started dating and three years later boom jams marriage me oh do eat that's some crazy [ __ ] marriage me marriage / me believe in that order oh god dammit dude I wish I could play it for you my my dad left me right before I came here my dad left me another [ __ ] absolute gem of a voicemail but like but right at the end he was like and don't play this on game grumps oh I'm never talking to yogi he's like all I'm thinking is like oh I cannot wait but I mean he didn't got it guys stick around that's yeah but he didn't say don't paraphrase it on game grumps oh yeah I mean I don't need to paraphrase it's just like it's just your typical a fair with tons of [ __ ] and then like he was just thinking about too many things the stock market and probably I wonder if I'm allowed to share Texas he sent me because there there's another good one recently he was that it's funny because he doesn't have the strongest grip on the English language but he loves to make fun of other people who don't as if he's like Miss Minister English so he found this menu and in some part of New York that like I guess it was it's a restaurant owned by immigrants and it's like the best tiramisu cake in New Jersey oh it's in New Jersey if you know like you know pay and so I was like did you like and he was like we didn't get there were eating the main dish I was like all right just make sure to no pay if you know like you're not the boss of me [Laughter] [Music] you're not the boss of me love you thank you this guy gets the same look on his face when he moves across shoveling that my dad gets when he shovels God and if you try to bug him he's like oh did your dad do that like if you're doing something physical like carrying something heavy and then like if you just kind of like bump into a wall they're like watching my dad really never got too mad at me except wait a second I blacked that out yeah damn I landed in this place okay it wasn't fair except for the very very specific time I remember when my dad was tired of shoveling and we had like a really really heavy winter in New Jersey and like there was just like a winter's coming yeah a winter [ __ ] came that year I think it was like 94 night 96 that was it and there was like really hot dude that winter like um there was just one giant snowstorm after another so my dad just got tired of shoveling all the time and he was like he bought a snow blower and it was like the biggest [ __ ] deal to him he was so excited and I managed to destroy it I was sort of young and like I didn't have like the same like just was stupid I didn't have the same body control that I have now and all that so like he was like man let you use the snowblower but be careful okay cause it says you never use one I was like nicely done way to land in victory on the things that kill you oh yeah sure no I'm invincible after I kill people silver okay some video game rules die on spikes but win against guy don't die on spikes that's a meme for you're ready oh goodness so yeah like um we uh so he put me in charge of the snow blower and he walks inside and like you know it's got a long cord that like connects inside the house or to a power source or whatever and my first like thing that I do is run right over the cord so it's like [Music] and it sucks up the entire cord and [ __ ] destroys the mechanism forever oh man you're an idiot oh dude I felt like it too and I like I had to like walk into the house and tell my dad that I just destroyed his pride enjoyed new thing while he was still removing his jacket so he had to simultaneously deal with the pain of losing like going back outside losing this thing he liked a lot and was looking forward to and also the realization that his [ __ ] son is an idiot well I think he already knew that yeah he was already a piece of that he was like okay daddy he had a good one where while I was home this past time he was like hey where can people buy your music and I was like oh you know like digitally usually people get it digitally but I mean with starbomb there's also physical copies and we probably do CDs of ninja sex party and he's like can I can people here oh I'd imagine you could father such a thing oh he would be the one place you could go I'm nading my next stop all right so I promised you guys a voicemail from my dad uh-huh here goes he wanted to congratulate me getting five million hits on Luigi's ballot which is very exciting for him wait we should bail on his five million hit yeah and that crazy [ __ ] serious yeah Matt whoa I like we don't check it the way my our parents did you know like wait you're not [ __ ] with me five million yeah oh my god that cool holy crap I know thank you everybody I know it's a dream come true especially for my dad he's like exactly like your pressure oh dude I [ __ ] I'm freezing my ass off [Laughter] congratulations on five million hits [ __ ] red rings it's the best buy I couldn't do my run with alright so I found another voicemail for my dad really really great that I really enjoy good go okay check it out do it here we go where is it Oh balls hold on I forgot to hit speakerphone yo D you got it yummy here we go from a dad all right go for it [Applause] [Music] it really does oh my god dude you can tell when like I wish I kind of like a like a readout like I'm like a a heart monitor readout of his brain where you can see where it's just flat bye-bye he is the best yeah what he explained to me why he does that cuz Hebrew is his first language mm-hm so like he actually thinks everything in Hebrew then has to translate it in his head into English and then he can say it mm-hmm so like sometimes between sentences he'll just have to reload and but sometimes he gets caught in a [ __ ] a logic loop a time he's just for like seven second doing the time loop let's do the [Applause] [Laughter] you can actually I'll play it again for you later you can hear my mom laughing in the background that's awesome dude I'm so happy yeah thank you special requests from from egoraptor like the way those balls are just there son of a Raptor son of son a Papa Raptor oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] there's a nanner damn monkey shooting [ __ ] [ __ ] at me I finally talked to my dad about cuz he's very excited and so he like reads up on like what's going on with us something on the subreddit and [ __ ] like that huh and I was like you know people love hearing about you and he was like maybe you kept me out of it sorry buddy as long as you continue to be hilarious and cool I'm gonna have to talk about you don't mind yeah neither do I mostly because of this music yeah yeah uh-huh oh god it's so catchy and all this is because my [ __ ] dad decided to go on a bender and destroy the [ __ ] universe who Lloyd no the king of all go sorry sorry I tell you when you wrote that yes my dad went on a bender and destroyed the universe stick he played guitar way too hard oh my dad by the way is all into game grumps now really yeah cuz he saw the footage of like I said Magfest yeah and he saw like the panel and like all the people there and that like made it real for him like what's been going on in my life ice so now he's like done I'm so excited it's awesome yeah the best is when like because done is the Israeli pronunciation of Dan that's just how they say is there but like sometimes he'll try to be more American than he actually is so he'll try like to force himself to say Dan uh-huh but it will come out like really Forrest it'll be like hi me there's not a why in my name dayn oh that's sweet yeah he's the best my when I come home my dad gets all excited and so like feel like yeah I'll be I'll talk to him for like 45 minutes or an hour when I get home and then I'm like alright I'm gonna go lie down now cuz you know just had a cross-country flight he's like okay and then I go in there and like thirty seconds later he comes in five more times at least with that yeah we won't even qualify it with I thought of something he's just like like like our first conversation never happened the soccer game tonight I'm like okay cool okay I think close the door oh that's cute yeah 45 seconds go by hey hey done oh it's so it's so sweet do it hey hey let's go okay so uh my my dad who I've gone on record many times is saying he's a very sweet guy yeah but not exactly a man who qualifies his statements well so whoa right of that I am aware yeah so I guess he saw the new ninja sex party t-shirts we put out and I'm sure what he wanted to say was great job on the new t-shirts Dan like I think they're awesome by the way this is my size can i buy one I'd love to have one or something like that what he ended up texting to me was I like the new NSP t-shirt large extra large thanks dark colors please the laughter made me die like that's pretty presumptuous ah give me that [ __ ] Oh so my dad saw the picture of Brian and I that we took for Instagram in front like smiling in front of the boxes uh-huh and those are like 1/4 of the boxes that we have to do but he meant to write you poor guys how many CDs in every box here's what he actually wrote you for gays I was like obvi I think you meant you poor guys I just responded haha my mom texted me from her phone she was like avi strikes again look I take video part gays [ __ ] best whoa look at Kurt he's growing up needs to start eating more I remember when I killed my first animal wait hold on I need to buy some poop wait hold on what I'm sorry I'm killing it's not important yeah you were gonna you were saying I can't move on from that dude I have never killed an animal you need to chill out with that in fact to show you what an amazing [ __ ] I've been my entire life okay hi dicks whoa there was a fly there was like a little fruit fly once when I was a kid and like it was kind of like on my like desk then it flew onto the floor I was just like on the floor looking at it I was like a little fun and then my dad came in he was like hi bad and he like stepped on it and killed it accidentally did you know I cried I cried like [ __ ] crazy over a fruit fly yeah yeah so that's that's the degree to which I could not deal with animals getting hurt you just [ __ ] rock that guy oh yeah you know I never found these guys hard and then I watched how much I liked playthroughs and people playing Mario 3 cuz this was a game that like I really liked I was inundated by oh now as a kid really like it was just like the only game I had do you say inundated yeah where I'm from we say inundated Oh interesting you crazy area so crazy Florida yeah we say we see car you still say care no that's Boston [ __ ] me what do you what are some other things that you say do you say clicker clicker for a remote oh yeah sure actually I have my own made-up word that my dad created called check Chuck [ __ ] [ __ ] Don had me the chick Chuck because the whoa I'm still in big town I forgot yeah yeah because we had like one of those really like old-school dang it [Music] got it yeah we had one of those old clickers when I was a kid that would go choo-choo so my dad was like it's that cheap Chuck that's cute my dad's adorable I love him a chap dude you are really [ __ ] just slicing through these things that's because I'm really strong so I'm gonna switch to something that's not as strong I'm gonna go with a Shh as my dad would say you're cutting through them like a hot butter through knife is that what he said he just gets like sayings backwards hot bother sir knife yeah that knife didn't stand a chance against a sharp Oh God I told you that like he left a voicemail I [ __ ] delete it I was I knew I shouldn't but he left me a voicemail he was like hi [Music] by just 30 seconds oh my god nothing that's amazing he's my favorite my dad like is the king of stories that go nowhere and barely qualify his stories huh so we were with my other relatives in Israel and my mom's a huge baseball fan she loves the Red Sox and her favorite player was a guy named Nomar Garciaparra is that where you got it what do you mean that you like sports you get it from your mom no I like sports way before and I pull more looks yeah I was it I was in before it was cool and my mom liked it no I was I was a football fan I'm not really a baseball fan but she she loves the Red Sox and her favorite player is Nomar Garciaparra and and so like my dad was telling the story like to our other Israeli relatives he's like so that's her favorite player and her email address is Debbie loves mama and like my other is really like cousin who like barely speaks any English was like that was a good story [Laughter] the only response he knows it was like the culmination of all his english it's like wow he barely knows the language well enough to drop some [ __ ] biting sarcasm I got a wacky brain man it does all kinds of things well good on ear or one for him like you said for a good like what is that some [ __ ] like old English word no it's my dad for good ah I'm dreaming of candy and not fisting I would never dream of that really I remember when my when my dad came in and I was playing the broken EP by Nine Inch Nails and it was like that part you can say the lyrics really flatly okay bad luck fist [ __ ] and like my dad walks and he's like I'll come back later it's much better if you can sing it welcome back whoa bolder guys that's that guy yeah I [Music] [Laughter] know I know it's uh I know no one really rents videos anymore but he has the look on his face that my dad used to get like when you'd realize that the blockbuster videos were overdue like oh nice oh he's drinking like [ __ ] booze and then he's spitting fire bad that was bad for you makes you breath fire that would make me want to drink it honestly if I was a kid oh yeah I'd be like do like a breathe fire if I drink booze [ __ ] yeah but I'd be like I'd be all like I could breathe fire if I drink the bad news goddamn this [ __ ] game the bad juice what are we children those they're called daddy sodas that's what we call beer in my house really no I'm sorry why'd you do it but daddy sauce [Applause] sorry my dad now on tour Holograms of himself like the [ __ ] guerrillas but it's all your dad oh who every single somebody some VFX wizard make it happen I'm happy I feel like I got sunshine [Music] [Laughter] I wanna ride it a game a game a game a game me yeah you really say that oh yeah dude oh my god I used to have he's just provided me I used to have except the CD single of that song back in 1991 was it was the EP no no just just the just the sing yeah just the song in the b-side and it was the b-side I can't lie from the highway CD it was CDI because my dad used to mine like how to scratch in it and it used to skip like right at that gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme like made me laugh so much and my dad would get so pissed he's like God we never get to the yeah see before this started well for this episode started uh-uh you were like hey man have you ever barked on a family member oh yeah as a matter of fact I haven't yeah my mom so why don't you share that tail what as we ride it's the cut it's just saying it is funny and it's like there's a story it's like I don't know I was barfing and then my mom was like here barf into my hands so it doesn't get all over that's weird but that's sweet - well she was like rushing me to the toilet so I could barf into the toilet your barf into my hand but she was like no I'm trying to blow well she wasn't like here son this is where you should barf you're going you know you're gonna fall off the cliff oh my god or left yeah she wasn't like here in my noble hand she was like Oh God catch it my the exact opposite he would have just like held me by the collar like at a full arm extension and just been like go ahead as long as you don't barf on my tracksuit barf all over the place I love earring up oh you are you are on my list homie that was nice oh no I got him all right cool oh I can't believe that happened better go see my chiropractor I can't look how [ __ ] close he was to die he's the only guy who can make me feel good [ __ ] dad just like crossing in front at like crucial moment just talk about my dad for one second okay go for it John you just remind dad you just reminded me sucks I mean done oh yeah you had your one second over you're also like my dad in that respect I'm sorry using dropping humor bombs from 1973 goddamnit I keep forgetting all I was gonna say about my dad at the beginning was like you did that thing he does where he gets like super like crazy and then he goes right back to normal out of nowhere like I have to experience this because when you describe your dad it just comes off to me is like a [ __ ] cartoon character you're not far off from the truth and then I'm like oh you can't really be like and then a [ __ ] is yeah you said you show me a voicemail and it's like BAM by no I mean like love them like we're real close and he's a very sweet awesome guy but like there are so many times when like he'll say something in my mom and I'll just look at each other like wow all right that's uh that's the man you married bothered me great do you do you have any dad isms what like the things he says yeah like you find yourself kind of being like [ __ ] oh I'm turning into my dad yeah no we're so different we're so like insanely different no man I really hope he blocks me on Twitter yeah you are doing that thing oh scarf cookie so intense Ross dog yes oh you're doing that thing my dad used to do where like he like he would start to get into a spiral he doesn't really do it anymore but when I was growing up he would like talk about something that makes him mad and then actually get mad in the process I just get get worse and worse maybe like Don you know you had so much time to do this you had so much time so much oh man but a guy would get to the place I go man here comes here comes and then what came just a little hot blast anger and then he'd be fine okay no no I had a I had a real chill relationship with my dad oh speaking of crazy stupid vocabulary [ __ ] uh-huh I went and visited my family uh-huh and my dad gave me some amazing some some pearls dropped out of his mouth yeah I was there did you make sure to write them down you know I did so he was like he my dad as I've mentioned before was initially very skeptical about my life choices and career choices and as things have worked out miraculously just in time after 15 years of not working he's totally come around and he's super into it and he's excited and he he just he loves everything about this so he wants to learn more about Let's Plays because the concept is still sort of foreign to him right about like he's like I see you on a friend that Mark and I was like yeah markiplier is very cool like you said he's a buddy of ours and he's like what about them the Swedish guy pwe di di avi is that you're trying to say oh my god you might not you might not be able to guess why they call me what's the best it's just amazing like everything he says and so like I I mean we went through some stuff recently and like we all needed a little bit of a break and like I was certainly like stressed out and so the week at home was super good for me because I just hung out with friends and family and my dad comes in I'm just lying there watching TV and he's like it's nice to have you home Thank You ivy it's nice to be home and he's like it's really good that you have a nice place that you can come and deke pose and like decompose you mean decompress naturally rot return to the elements for what you can oh my god a place where you can decompose and I was like I'm laughing uncontrollably and he's like listen don't say this on game dumb I'm like then stop saying amazing [ __ ] all the time I told him straight out I was like I have to I have to share this one so do it lobster yes you know what I think that's what it is honestly because like because he's very he's a very private guy you know like he wouldn't want any like anyone walking up to him and being like hey you're avi you know but he secretly loves like you know being adored online you know I know he does oh boo fees Oh spook is he world renowned yeah when we um I visited my uncle and my grandma and he came with me and he played he took out his phone and he played the the spoofy animated that someone didn't like he's just smiling so happy the entire time it's it's great it's great to watch horrible yeah and of course it led to a conversation with my mom and she like my mom like was an editor when she was younger so she's like a linguist and very like into language so like no one loves the crazy [ __ ] my dad says more than she does and she's been apparently writing them down for years really yeah yeah no way and he was trying to say if she likes show like a secret book that had like a lock on it and she's like I wanted to share this with you your whole life on the fridge there was a post-it note of something he had said was he they were talking about something political and he he's like generally a moderate with like most of his thinking and so like he meant to say hey like he was trying to say like extremists are in you know the way to go either in either direction and down with extremism ISM baby yeah down with it tired of how I love extremity it's something that you and me and your dad we're gonna have to disagree I say up with extremist yeah yeah well you know what we need mandatory extremism sessions yeah exactly God - think like whenever I'm watching pee wee DD it's so nice to have a place where I can decompose and just think about my extremism that's very extrusive mystic of you slowly but surely creating his own language you got so many thanks if it was my dad playing this game I hope she gives me the rest of the armor I think she gives me the pants oh you on Lionel Safari no Lionel Country Safari located in Florida they still live right next to that place lion country safari what is that it's it's like a zoo that you can drive through with lions and they'll just run up to your car oh that's unsettling no it's cool really yeah the giraffes will like reach their head inside your car and stuff well that's tough I mean you can just they had that at Six Flags Great Adventure in Jersey really yeah the Safari that's cool I don't know if they still do but like yeah my dad fed like a monkey one time you're not supposed to he's like what could go wrong and like [ __ ] it there's a thousand monkeys on our car in like within yeah terrifying that's awesome well I guess he learned his lesson then right then the next day he went back and fed more monkey yeah you kidding then he was [ __ ] thrilled then he grabbed the monkeys and fed them to the Lions and then the day after monkeys attacked a child for wanting food from him I wonder where they got that idea from oh my god there you go better hope so yeah oh that's much better don't blow it's my first are you blowing it it's handling my dad for say dad are you in there blowing it nope George oh God leave me alone I need privacy please the Ford baby no no no ok have you ever have you ever just like mumbled into the voice-recognition [ __ ] and see what comes out yeah it's just like you just treat it like a human mm-hmm cuz you're supposed to be like who was the guy from the who yeah it's it's like uh who was [ __ ] my dad is the best with Siri Siri I'm looking for the and it's like out of time you're an idiot please put me down learn to speak English learn to speak English damn Siri what was your dad's joke about like Oh about like like something was read he was like oh yeah when I was like a red car he's like your bucks gonna be red in a minute why did I say something you had her now you just gave me a window of opportunity to see you never speak yeah my dad neither he hid my hey my brother once and it was just like uh nope never again oh that's what happened with my dad my sister like he didn't actually hit her he just like gave her like a spank and she was like I don't know maybe your dad was like vicious no way he's a gentle lamb but like I guess she was just being like super overdramatic she might have actually used the word tushy which is the best the best of all but monikers tuchus is bleeding my tuchus we never said took us although we are a very Jewish family hey hello it's back to katamari with us Oh welcome back Aaron we had a great Oh welcome back Danielle hello we had a great um Christmas vacation was vacay vacation in which we play different games yes yes yes I actually did go to New York since the last time you saw me oh yeah yeah when saw my family fans hung out with my mom and my dad and my mom actually told me some sweet stories about my dad that I didn't know oh yeah like the way he took me for a drive my sister and I when we were kids to the to the salted sea and I my mom was like that water doesn't look safe he's like no it's fine it's fine like my sister and I are swimming around and like a year later they find out that it was like a toxic waste dump like a chemical spill what yeah yeah that's my dad well you were okay right I'm fine you didn't grow a third leg no I mean my thumb's are weird but I think they were always like that yeah pretty pretty pretty good right another another classic IV moment he's also thrilled that you know yeah that spoofy has become a thing and people people quote it it's great because I mean for the most part he wants to stay out of the public eye you know but he loves the fact that spoofy is a thing welcome back yo yo yo yo no I just remembered like I am I got a call from the CVS pharmacy but I guess they're having trouble with like the like certain parts of their automated system yeah like because you know how automated systems have the parts that like are used for every part of the of every phone call and then like there's a part that like changes based on the patient as to the part that's changed on the patient I guess is [ __ ] up so it was like hello this is CVS Pharmacy calling for we wanted to tell you that your prescription for is now available it was so [ __ ] funny oh my god I was dying or like when somebody doesn't know how to [ __ ] somebody who doesn't know how to use like a phone or like a phone system very well just kind of you know it's like would you like to accept a call from [Laughter] totally my dad totally like they they have not it hasn't happened in so long with cause with cell phones and [ __ ] right but like when when you used to call me during college it would be like you have a call from do you accept I don't know I don't know I yeah for him talking to my mom I think you have a call from I don't understand that is so [ __ ] funny I am thought of that a while yeah yeah dude I bet there's so much like like 90s ass [ __ ] I could think of like to make jokes about totally it would be completely irrelevant now you also just reminded me of let me see if I could find it my dad left me a voicemail just where he like comes really strong out of the gate you know exactly what I said it's great that's I've just recently seen a picture of your father oh yeah he's totally awesome normal suburban dad yeah and not what I expected well everyone thinks he has like long gray hair my dad looks nothing like me I look more like my mom yeah but my dad my dad was super like handsome back in the 70s that he did have long hair then and like he was like just out of the Israeli army so he was all like [ __ ] like super cut-up I was like Jesus obvi [Music] did I ever play the voicemail where he told me never to play it on game room yes I'll kill you yes that is a great one I'm sure it's in the Dan's dad compilation is it really yeah hold on I'm up later yeah like an hour long compilations of you talking about and also oh my god that's from June of last year Jesus that's how long I keep these things and treasure them oh because they're beautiful obvi I love art yeah it really is my dad does not realize that every time he's about to leave a message on my phone it's a masterpiece that I will treasure for decades to come yep okay game grumps we didn't discuss this change the show where we get literally more mature every single moment I always do that I want to say legitimately and literally at the same time so it comes out legit early legit early it's legitimately the stupidest thing I've ever said that's a Brian Regan bit what he's like you ever wanted to say like take care but then he said good luck it's like take luck or like when you're when you assume that somebody's pregnant my dad's done that he was like when do you expect it she didn't say that I'm paraphrasing but I mean I'm sure it was like the nervous like I'm sorry laughs but he couldn't open what does he do definitely that's like the worst situation to possibly be the Brian Regan Pitt was like you just you can't stop yourself after you've like committed to what you're saying [Music] you're [ __ ] sick Haughton blorp gonna get some blorp tonight oh hey I was you'll appreciate this well I was hanging out with my family I was telling my dad about like I shave with a straight razor now like I used to use electric razors and stuff but like I like the I don't this isn't interesting but I like that I like the ritual of like you know using the horse tail brush and all that and a single blade whatever so I was like yeah avi I just I used the single blade now got a got to take care of the moneymaker my face and he was like yeah you gotta take the money shot and I'm like no no that's not what that means I think he meant like pictures that like great and yeah I get you a lot of cash like now father why what does it mean I was like I'll tell you later take the money side create it video good you're fine you're just not Japanese that much is clear there they're at a different level that we can't have pretend leaves happy leaves they'd leave me alone Oh nicely done damn it hey pun I just hate in general I'm capable of that emotion so I do it often cool let it out man this is good beautiful now no every time you yell at me I eat comfort skittles so I like it's just perfect it's a hit like from a time long past yeah don't remind me being a child skittles sunny girls the skittles are a trigger for you no actually like he's an awesome dude but like he he's Israeli and he's kind of a wacky guy and like he's would sometimes like make mistakes parenting me you know just like just like like take me to a scary movie and then I'd be traumatized and then he would take me to like for pancakes to make me feel better always so like pancakes have become synonymous with like like even now oh yeah however many years later it's it's weird I hop special place in my heart yeah so I was in Little League I played Little League baseball and I played the outfield which is where you play when you have no [ __ ] talent yeah and you did you throw like a girl and you just stand around all like yeah yeah so they put me in the outfield actually I threw worse than a girl there were plenty of girls on our team who threw amazingly well much better than I did and so like my dad has like home video of like its it goes to me in the outfield and I'm just standing around because no kid is strong enough to hit like the baseball bat fall yeah so you just stand there the whole game and and then he like brings the camera back to back to like the pitcher in the action and then after the pitch he goes back to me and I'm like on my knees making dirt castles [ __ ] ground and you can hear my dad turn to my mom like I don't think that is going to be an athlete oh man next time on game grumps more shameful tales from my childhood okay and use hamster how sick oh we got the lame version damn it there definitely was a version where you could blow up a hamster in the microwave how sick like maybe they meant sick as in like the new way like whoa Totally Rad Oh have I told you that my dad recently learned about the word sick really but doesn't like fully understand how to use it yet like like he understands that it means like really good but he doesn't know like when it's appropriate so like he bought like a cantaloupe and he was like hey Don this cantaloupe is pretty sick right this is a sick cantaloupe you're going to feel real sick when you eat this cantaloupe is rife with e.coli yeah that's cool there you go they say I think I'm like cool if you've gotten angry you would have fallen off there you think so yeah like like my dad who I saw I went to visit my parents for the past few days yeah and they're they're great everything's cool with my mom my mom had an amazing moment where she was like she was telling me that my dad is the one man that can turn lemonade into lemons look like he can make like a good situation bad just because he's like a negative attitude sometimes huh so she was like you're the only man I know who can actually take delicious lemonade and turn it into lemon so my dad's response was sugar is bad for you [Laughter] [ __ ] bastard so let's let's take that let's take that approach okay his oily volleyball game in Top Gun oh [ __ ] yeah playing with the boys god I used to listen to that song [ __ ] non-stop it is the funniest that's so good and it's much like any gay anthem at the time it's not apparent like YMCA like my dad had no idea that was like talking about blowing guys just like the spell but yeah that Dex gets sort of blew my mind I was like whoa what an accent yeah that's crazy I love foreign accents especially my dad's Oh God he said some [ __ ] funny [ __ ] really yeah oh yeah you just you just saw him recently yeah yeah well yeah I was hanging out with him he was giving me the rundown of what he thought of the new ninja sex party album yeah it was it was very he was like would you like a critique it was like you're gonna give it to me anyway obvi like there's no sense in me saying now if he was like I like 69 69 is the best song you have ever done and I was like that's really nice I'm so happy he's like on the other hand abstinence patrol that sounds like star bomb I'm like what's wrong with that all right all right good morning everybody don't let me interrupt your gentle slumber they've really shot up - they shot up like when my dad used to wake me up for school whoa I'm still alive have you ever had a dream that someone you love died and then you wake up and they're still alive and you're like yes yes and that crazy crazy feeling because I can you dreamed so much time can pass that like you go through the whole like experience of like mourning them and like getting over the death jet yeah and then you wake up and you're like none of that should happen I'm good tell my dad I love him and then he do and everything's fine yeah wake up and then you do and your dad's like done what the [ __ ] are you talking about please leave me alone yeah I'm reading I'm reading the Israeli paper does he he does sometimes well The Jerusalem Post well yeah it's pretty bad it's hard to understand for me yeah it's in a language you don't read many symbols my dad referred to pebbles as pebbles that was the other really cute thing you know dad don't drive behind the truck because it kicks up the pebbles and they get on the windshield does it Ave did will the wool the pebbles be flying at us at a dangerous pace yeah dude if I moved to Japan and live there for like 40 years mm-hmm I'd be like what does you know what like I'd be [ __ ] awesome oh yeah yeah it always it always baffles me how and is not a knock this is like a questioning yeah no talk [ __ ] on my dad please no it's like he's not here how does it I guess it's just like a like keep keeping keeping stock of the original I guess that's cool it's like holding on to the the classic well I mean according to him he has to think in Hebrew and then translate it in his head and then speak see yeah that probably makes more sense yeah so who knows which is probably well I'll do last cuz it's the hardest sounds like it yeah there's a lot of arched dragons there yes like super dragon zenith like I mean you can't get more like top of the mountain than that super dragon zenith yeah like instead of peak oh I'm saying that's what Zenith means it does like peak that is correct I'd like to peak it your drag anyway my grandparents actually had a TV by a company called Zenith pretty sure they don't exist anymore oh yeah I've seen I've seen Zenith do do they still exist I don't know it was it was really old the the remote control only had four buttons and each one was like click click like there were three white buttons and an orange button yeah and that's why my dad to this day calls the remote control the chick chuck the chick Chuck Don pass me the chick Chuck I love it yeah I guess I guess when he came to America that that's the TV they had alright what's this Bowie bass galaxy yeah yeah delicious booyah base well it's time for booyah base galaxy next time on [ __ ] game grumps do it and next time I'm probably going to send Dan home what do you mean do you think I mean you're going home did you get kicked off of game grabs early today what did you do whatever don't talk to me doing a bad days in my life is hard you just think about stuff

Channel: GameGrumps

Views: 1,409,128

Rating: 4.961328 out of 5

Keywords: gameplay, egoraptor, danny, game grumps, gamegrumps, funny, arin, letsplay, gaming, parenthood, dream daddy, dad, father, papa, popo, pater, padre, vater

Id: I0-MyJ6d4J8

Length: 63min 25sec (3805 seconds)

Published: Thu May 23 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/Bipolarprobe]

Just want to give a shoutout to Arin here because this seems to be a recut of a Bman64 compilation who got all his grumps compilations demonitized a while back and he's creditted as the editor here so I'm willing to bet they contracted him to do official compilations for their channel. Arin is the wholesome boy, he's the one who supports.

[u/GigaBowserNS]

So, are all of Bman64's compilations just really quiet for some reason? His compilation on last Thursday was absurdly quiet, and now this one as well. What the hell? Can't y'all boost the audio a bit?

[u/TheOsttle]

That thumbnail... yeesh. And the title is so vague, I was worried something bad happened to Avi when I got the notification, hence me adding the “(COMPILATION)” to the post title.

[u/ByTheNineDivine]

A little bummed the comments section was ruined. I wanted us all to share our favorite Avi moments and laugh all over again.