FPSRussia prison stories

then they're like ah he doesn't win Terry dog I was in prison with Terry Cruz's like brother-in-law he's he's in prison yeah well real nice guy all world yeah do you know what he did I didn't get into that his name is Isaac and but but Isaac's I'm not real nice guy he was uh he was next his cell was right next to my pilot's that's one of my first questions about prison and I wanna I don't want to get into this unless you don't want to talk about so don't answer it's gonna be a topic for some time the reason I wanna the first question is do people talk about why they're in there is that a thing that everybody does they don't talk about they don't they don't bring it up but but if I got comfortable somebody I would ask them yeah you know or if I didn't feel like they were a scary person I would just ask him right away like the the gay guy that's like right next to me one cell on the other side of Terry Crews his brother-in-law I was like [ __ ] you in here for me he's like I was selling a little cocaine and I was like how much is a little a couple ounces how long years yeah have fun yeah well you know I got mixed up with those machinima guys Kyle you want a prison question yeah sure sure you said there were people from Atlanta that were way worse there was an Atlanta minimum security prison but it was like way more hardcore people what was the scoop with that alright so they didn't put me in the Atlanta camp I think because they don't want people to close to their homes for whatever reason which seems like [ __ ] because what if like I was in there for five years and I want to visit my family well there were six hours away but uh but there were guys who had been transferred to Talladega from Atlanta's camp and quite a few of them so I got it from like multiple sources what that camp was like there and there and they were a man it's Wilin out and I'm like imma I like tell me more he's like well [ __ ] we got everything in there they we got [ __ ] up those snitches told on us they shut it all down a little what did you have everything I was all right what does everything mean we want to go out and party so we get a hobo to come in and sleep in our bed that way they come through and count in word is sleeping in my bed so it's all good you bet they don't care and imma what you just leave no you can't just leave they're not gonna but they don't but they just walk by with a flashlight at night and count bodies they're not moving recognize you so I get up I think that they were I I know at one point there wasn't even a fence around that camp like some of the camps like especially in the north don't have a fence we had like that big scary 12-foot fence with the razor wire on the top and the bottom and um it didn't I thought I didn't - there were a lot of lies about that place online like all of the programs that they said that we were going to have but like they only exist for the medium security guys and so people will transfer to Talladega because like yeah I want to learn to be a [ __ ] graphic artist that'd be cool I'm out in a year and a half I need a job that you know won't discriminate and they're like oh that's only for medium security so like [ __ ] well can I can I go - to Pennsylvania they I think they have it like yeah yeah you transfer in 18 months till then we get ninety three dollars a day off your ass go find a bunk and get a job slavery so there were they would leave and actually go party they would bring girls into the prison they said and [ __ ] them sometimes they would literally bring [ __ ] in and then they had like all of the drugs and I saw but but we had all the drugs alcohol - you say you said you had something in alcohol that you had [ __ ] and alcohol drugs and alcohol we have rugs and alcohol like every drug you can name and alcohol and cigarettes and cell phones like all that was like everywhere and in Talladega late like it's the alcohol you guys it it wasn't like prison made alcohol it was professionally made alcohol you imported I when I asked about it they said I was I was I do they had because I was reading the Stephen King book where they were talking about making alcohol out of prunes and raisins in prison and I and so I asked a guy that was near me I was like do they do that here he's like they don't have to they got Jim Beam and vodka they got it they real alcohol and I was how much is he's like he won't so and I was like no no no I don't well maybe how much is it he's like eight dollars a shot and I'm like so yeah they would explain that you could really just get away with anything there and that there was it was just rampant with people like leaving and going out and partying and like going to going to strip like their friends would just pick him up off on a road that was nearby and take him off to town and they'd go get burgers and go to a hotel and [ __ ] their girlfriends at the hotel or whatever and I was like was it that doesn't sound like here at all really no it sucks here yeah I have to a sucky prison we were talking about the workout equipment last week I kind of alluded to it but so we had obviously we had a running track and they had sports you know they had a softball field and they had they would play like pick-up football actually was organ it wasn't pickup it was organized flag football with teams one of the teams name was the wood layers and yeah yeah hey it's I had to process I don't ask don't ask don't tell what and so they they would go out there and they play football but it was hot as [ __ ] out there I couldn't believe they weren't just heat stroking out and a hundred degree [ __ ] and there was like medicine balls and and then there were like there was like one good elliptical one decent treadmill and like some shitty ellipticals that had no resistance even you were just on this green thing doing this a lot and then that was it and I was like well [ __ ] what do you do for like or there was chin-up bars and dip bars but there was no free weights and I was like what do they do and and my buddies like over here I'll show you we go out there and these guys have gotten big rocks like the ones that like retain an area to keep from washing away and they have taken them to the scales and weighed them and written with magic marker what they weigh on them so every rock you look at in the Lee says 25.5 32 pounds 16 pounds these rocks yeah they're big like the retaining rocks he like put till I keep water from Washington gully away and they would take these these bags and fill them up with rocks and they put on either end of a pipe and they're out there doing bench press and curls with a pipe full of rocks so what bags of rocks why wouldn't I get free weights is it because they were worried that they would like hurt each other with a murder that's what they would say if you asked that's the same reason they said that we didn't have a pool table but they give us padlocks and socks so that [ __ ] we've got so we got big long tube socks what's that padlock what's safe about giant rocks nothing no let him go play with the rock pile every morning I'd go out there to the track you know like crack of dawn and I start my start my start my run and I'd look and here came the same guy with a wagon like a big like the kind of wagon you would use around a greenhouse is the only way I know to describe in high school we have member seeing those like a big heavy-duty wagon full of rocks and he's you got to put them back you can't just leave the rocks up in the workout area like they're real big on cleanliness and neatness and so and and this I was asking my buddy I was like that guy's the rock guy I guess he's like easily he's lost like 200 pounds we got here use like 450 look at him and I'm like still it's pretty fat to me it's not a good look you can really benefit from the gym that's like you know not just like rocks and pipe yeah the guys would be doing like burpees and you know sit-ups and push-ups and and lots of stuff like that most people worked out in pairs so you can motivate the other guy it seemed like that was very common that you know you one guy would often know more than the other guy and like there were a couple guys in there who were just like specimens you could tell what's the lowest specimen like that no I would say he was just bulky and strong that but there were some of these guys who were just like they look like Brad Pitt and Troy like just real ripped up and like like a tiny tiny waist and just just real symmetrical good-looking guys who are just out there doing dips all day and that's that's all I would do if I went to jail that's why dude I would just that's what else you gonna do yeah six seven hours a day long rocks yeah the frogs why not call me Fred Flintstone [ __ ] Rock and they would do that too they just have a rock in each hand they'd be doing all sorts of like freeways I don't see myself going either way really like there's this a version of me that might just hit the gym hard and think there's a version of me that might just get a little depressed and sleep and do nothing to do i I read a lot I read a lot mostly mostly reading that's almost exclusively what I did for sure you have access to the Internet at all or no not really not right I'm not like the real internet like we had internet but it did lame things like you could do like a female to text thing you could text somebody and then they would email you back when they were turned the text I didn't really bother about I just use the phones you got like 15 minute phone calls 300 months a month the phone is one of my questions Kyle how did that work like is it a common area on TV sometimes there's people waiting for the phone and if you're on it and I'm a tough guy might be wanting to boot you like what is the phone like it's a little room you go into that's not very far from the dorm just a stone's throw and you go in there it's got air conditioning it's very small it's about the size of this room I'm in right now and there's eight phones I think in there maybe 10 just along the walls maybe four on this side four on this side form that side something like that and you dial the number you want to call you dial your prison number it's which is like a nine digit number that identifies yourself and then it asks you to repeat your name back to it and when that's a tone and the voice recognition sucks dick so like I'd have to make like ten phone calls in a row it would take me 15 minutes to make a five-minute phone call because I'm just calling it over and I'm like Kyle Myers yeah didn't understand that sorry try again it gets awful next time huh nope not gonna understand you at all try again later click and just go again and and but yeah it's this guy's in there it's usually real loud I try to pick off times to make my phone call so it's not so goddamn loud in the room because it's there real depressing phone calls course you know it's sometimes it's funny you know I remember I remember distinctly one of the early times I was in he's like yeah baby you need a gangsta in yo life and I'm thinking what does she know he's calling from jail like trying to do someone for his landing yeah I like I like his gumption I mean women out there who wanna [ __ ] Charlie Manson there are there's not and yeah it sucked you got like I said you have 15 minutes and then the phone starts to distill countdown [ __ ] it gives you these little tones to let you know that any minute now you're running out of time and it's we're gonna hang the [ __ ] up on whoever this is and unless you're calling locally it's expensive like a dollar a minute or something like that do you yeah yeah licked now it I don't even think that's an option because this YC person gets come on all from helping being raped no help I'm being raped is that Turkish no I think that they that the federal prison system wants to get as much money out of you as they can so look it comes right out of your commissary fund you there's a little process in which you transfer money from commissary fund into your phone fund and one of the problems with prison like he said get the money out of you but most people exit prison even if they just do two months which is a low yet most people do more you do six months in prison you come out broke most people can't like it'll have a six month emergency fund that they can tap into and they exit and suddenly it's not a problem like renting their next apartment and such like they leave in dire straits and right that's yeah that's why that's why they put them in the halfway house I think that's one of the main reasons you know and they can give you like a year of halfway house so and that comes right off your - that's not looking at in addition type thing so a lot of those guys like snow for example he's really trying to get them to give him as much halfway house as possible see and and as much home confinement in addition to that as possible so he can get out by early next year because he's been in there for [ __ ] ten years whatever the [ __ ] Jesus so basically you just like your your account like let's say you have a savings account you just take your savings account with you to prison and then you're just whittling away at that account or you use like Western Union get some money on the outside like wire the money into your pre-owned account and so you know I had plenty of money but you can you ever give a spending limit even in the commissary it's like oh well you can only spend $120 every two weeks or something like that or a hundred eighty I think it was something like that if anyone maybe not you but like did anyone in the prison use other people as their like pay pigs like like yeah hey if you want to feel safe you keep me rolling in potato chips or something no I'd see anything like that people were real honest about like making promises like hey hey could you give me a little bit of this and I'll buy you something for that like commissary day and they would always like actually make that hat them there was a lot of like on commissary day like like each dorm had a different commissary day so if I don't get a shop until Wednesday but it's Monday and you get to shop I could be hey man will you get me four bags of chili and some raisin bran and you know that that would happen and then um when it's when it's my turn I will buy him you know eighteen dollars for the [ __ ] - and that's pretty common thing that would happen or if you had gambling debts you you could handle those if you didn't if they didn't want max which is the packets of mackerel fish fillets that I talked about they were kind of currency in there if they didn't want that they could also do commissary credit so like yeah let me give me your commissary list I'll put down $6 for the [ __ ] and just bring it to me whenever you know you go so the so the gambling deaths were that was that like gambling debts from within prison like being a big oh wow holy [ __ ] nobody's like so like loan-sharking you from in prison because like basically they were well I don't like shootin dice or probably or like just playing cards or something poker monopoly and in football play with me a little bit not much it that they did like this dealer's choice thing where the dealer gotta cheese the game and they played a lot of house shut with this ghetto games that I'm not familiar with a lot of nonsense games and I like to play Texas Holdem pretty exclusively that's why I've always played when I would you know play for real money hmm and play online and stuff like that I'm good at that I think I always was and I don't know how I didn't know it like I don't like Omaha and and they play a lot of like different end of pot limit games and they just mix it up so if you got six guys playing you might play for half an hour and play one game of Texas Hold'em which is all I wanted to play and Plus like I didn't know those people very well either so like sometimes there were scary people in the game and I didn't know they might get upset if I went too much you know I I hold up like I don't want to win a lot I don't want to lose a lot like like I don't want to play right I don't want to owe you money and then suddenly like that's a danger I don't want you owing me money then like that's another problem in itself right there pretty chill about that I didn't I didn't feel like it's gonna be a big day Mercedes they once every but no there were a lot of people good sense of humor like some guy got his towel stolen one day his towel has his bath towel and you you're assigned I think three brown bath towels they're garbage that there are my me of the kind of chamois that you'd like dry your car off with and like like very not very absorbent real rough and it yeah pretty small and if you'd like got them soaking wet and like rang them out brown liquid would come out because they're like dyed brown and it was pretty gross saying I always thought like I fed I'm just like rubbing a little bit of that brown dye on me every time I dry off I'm never actually gonna be clean while I'm in here and but you could buy your own towel from the commissary and it was that it was an okay towel and it was I think I'm sort of a cream color and it was better I don't know what they cost I didn't bother to buy one but this guy's towel got stolen one morning and he starts screaming god damn it y'all who go steal my towel my [ __ ] towel was hung up right [ __ ] here I hope you know I've been drying my balls with that towel I've been wiping my [ __ ] with that towel and now you gonna wipe your face with what the [ __ ] is wrong with you look like it goes on like this forever everybody's screaming him ain't nobody gonna bring your towel back oh oh they ain't bringing it back not not now that you don't made a big deal I ain't making a big deal maybe you accidentally grabbed my towel I hold no ill will toward you Tao man please please bring me my towel damn I don't even if you won't one of mine like he wanted soap and in like 10 minutes later he goes excuse me everyone a little embarrassing I found the towel sorry about all that that's pretty cool of him though did people laugh like that again

Channel: PKA Highlights

Views: 1,422,660

Rating: 4.9240127 out of 5

Keywords: PKA, Painkiller already, FPSRussia, PKA Highlights, fpsrussia prison, fpsrussia prison story, FPSRussia prison stories, PKA Podcast, FPSRussia arrested, Twitch, Woodysgamertag, Woody, Taylor, Kyle, VinWiki, Wingsofredemption, Kyle court case, PKA 461, PKA Highlight

Id: qmHrmb3dJRI

Length: 18min 39sec (1119 seconds)

Published: Tue Nov 12 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/teemoore]

For the "what happened to him/I thought he died" questions

(allegedly happened) In August 2017, Myers'(FPSRussia) residence was again raided after Myers was alleged to have received 25 grams of butane hash oil through the mail. Myers was arrested for felony possession of a restricted substance with intent to distribute and 50 of his weapons were confiscated under a federal law that prohibits illegal drug users from possessing firearms. He later plead guilty to Possession with Intent to Distribute Marijuana and Butane Honey Oil, with all other charges dismissed. On June 19, 2019, Myers was sentenced to two years' probation and two months in prison and pay a fine to the amount of $7500.

[u/cjfrey96]

Whoa, Bruce! Noice.

[u/prettylieswillperish]

it still frustrates me they fucked him on bullshit charges

[u/coolkerbal]

the family loves real sweet kids