FLAGRANT 2: SKULLY (Feat. Chris Distefano) (FULL EPISODE)

what's up everybody this episode of flagrant 2 is brought to you by Adam and Eve okay y'all want free stuff right Adam and Eve must be [ __ ] with us because they still back here that means you guys must be buying them condoms must be buying them sex toys that petroleum jelly or those I know lubes or all that kind of stuff they got but they're giving away free stuff okay it's gonna ignite your Valentine's Day matter of fact it's your shorty somethin nice I'm ed underwear something like that that's still a thing basically when you go to Adam and Eve calm and select almost any one item you're gonna get 50% off that's pretty dope right but here's where you get to free stuff when you enter our exclusive code to check out that's flagrant all right not only do you get 50% off the one item you get also ten tantalizing free items first for your viewing pleasure six free movies next a free mystery pack that includes an item for him a special toy for her and something we know that you'll both 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Shelton he's me like still today like [Laughter] you're all people always confuse me for me yeah yeah it happens to me weekly bring you up they definitely bring it up know who you are yeah yeah we're the two white guys we were the way yeah I get what it's like to be the minority yeah yes hop in show you are known because of it her favorite yeah that girl she just thought he was to find that story about you losing your virginity oh yeah he's like a guy code like Hall of Fame moment absolutely first told the craziest story today I did history hyenas podcast yeah as chris says hi heinous - put a Chan it and dude can you tell the story which one the one where your friend [ __ ] your mouth oh my god what yeah dude I was like 13 years old and I was like the runt of like my friend like the young one you know and yeah dude we were just all hanging out and my everybody's to hang out at my house my mom was working whatever and they just abused me you know push my actors are out the window [ __ ] my sink you know one time they were Chinese food they want to change food and they were like they were like yo we dare you to go downstairs butt-naked with your mother's high heels and a New York Giants football helmet on then I had and they're like we dare to go downstairs and just get the food from the Chinese delivery guys it'll be hilarious so they all follow me down that's like four of them I go to open the door like thinking like that's a joke and I'm gonna just be laughing and it's really about the shock of the Chinese delivery guys face one of my friends pushes me that's nice down my sidewalk I guide my dad was bleeding like my dick I rubbed it on concrete yes I like ball you know I'd like a rug burn on my ballsack and then I got they kept me it like locked me outside my own home but naked with my mother's high heels on in broad daylight for like five minutes no it was 1990 with the Chinese no he like ran away you know like you know what to do so and then yeah and then one time I was sitting on the toilet taking a [ __ ] and one of them just came in with your hand yeah I [ __ ] started caressing him on his balls yeah yes so I jerked the real talk have you ever gone back and thought about like why did I bro I tried to get him the guy though I'm on the podcast yeah I know I could he wouldn't call talk to these people yeah yeah just don't want to one of those guys why I just went to his wedding [Laughter] yeah I don't know dude it's growing out it was fun we are that wedding speech yeah hey Suzanne one hell of a skull [ __ ] my god they're [ __ ] bitter alcoholics dirtbags never left the neighborhood like just pure [ __ ] but you know but no but it's interesting how like you could make a skull [ __ ] into a positive because I think what happened was when I think what happened was this is all that abuse that I took subconsciously internally motivated me to blow past them yes in everything sports academics career leave the neighborhood all that stuff but you know I'm good if I'm being lunch Nazis I couldn't really I couldn't suck on a lollipop for a few you know anytime I get brings up bad memories yeah bro it was a wild thing but I don't regret it because I feel like without it I wouldn't be the man I am today tell you from firsthand experience you know dick it wasn't a pen it wasn't great I don't want to suck dick what do I need how many pumps I wanted I think I blacked out a little bit but I when I did blackout trauma you know did you just take it in silence or did you have like a little like I took it in silence with gardening noises it was hard using I'll remember I was like okay get softer can all that drive over your thoughts start to come in again with full water with his brother yeah they were weird honking kids oh yeah more weird kids just slapping each other's dicks together it was weird like Ridgewood Bushwick area yeah it's like the white kind of hates border border like theirs it was mostly Puerto Rican but like I were torque it's not really hood I mean their hood but it's not hard Bushwick back in the day was wild it was it was but but where I was was kind of like like border like a sense border you know it wasn't like full [ __ ] I didn't come out of the ghetto but I didn't come from a good neighborhood that wasn't like obviously it wasn't I was holding my dick down with one of them didn't see my dick and I was like that was the priority yeah I was like I remember thinking like I don't want my dick to pop out cuz I was taking a [ __ ] but I mean that one of the other guys dick in my mouth quick one second decision making like okay what would be worse if I they saw my dick or that I had my dick no I was I was like that like I was getting up you know what skull-fucking was yeah I just was like you're growing up like a you know a Irish Italian Catholic I just thought this is was initiation you get you get smoked by the Flanagan Brothers it's just what it is now I can't call now only because I just feel it's kids you know I mean here's your's I don't even know if you'd remember hey nice is right victim ever it was motivating like I think you know the guy ended up getting way for it testicular cancer I believe so none of them have good lot like not very upset that's a good point no yeah I didn't find it far the only part of his dick his mouth didn't yeah yeah like of all the cancers to get that's like the base level cancer day what can't what testicular cancer now you want like a little skin tag that you can just get taken over all right well that yellow uh yeah testicle cancer or prostate cancer is okay you know early though you may homophobic one of the lymphomas either not I think non-hodgkins I'm forgetting which one devised an easy one all sorry but I think on a scale you don't want any I think like yeah so yeah man so that that's my story that's crazy before we started Chris is telling us a story about investment bankers murdering hookers yes would you like save it for the podcast in the second a podcast started you've got into a much crazier I'm a guy code all-star oh my god we've been the [ __ ] good TV to tell this story to Ryan here it is I'm internal I'm good I'm Catholic sir we're good at pushing [ __ ] down that's why big triceps I [ __ ] push it down pushing the gay down dealt with this I want to say yes but the [ __ ] short the true answers probably no robbery if you're laughing about it no you know you know it is I just think it's one of those things where it's like yeah so yeah I probably know the history podcast man and also Chris is special yeah size 38 waist comedy size 38 ways coming but they can watch it comedy central.com online online you can watch it online you can watch it on I jump on the app can buy it on your TV wherever I sell Chris at Caroline's like a year ago Christmas time yeah before you do the podcast or anything before this podcast and I hadn't seen in a couple years and I told you sounds like this [ __ ] this she was so [ __ ] funny yeah non-stop punchlines funny like edgy just just a great to check out pretty good thank you I appreciate yeah I'll try to turn this into a bit that's a great new our boys ain't gay open up you to if you want to do rape jokes yeah like who gonna tell you [ __ ] exactly well that's the thing too it's like not only you know I was skull-fucked I think that should be be they busted in that bathroom like it was the Twin Towers [Laughter] and you know what's the funny part is my head hit but the window the ball behind me and knock one of my mother's paintings down this is the pre suicide podcast yet I remember I knocked one of my I don't knock my mom sayings down it's Eddie I never forget it cuz I love you guys man I really do I love everything you and y'all have been doing I've been a big supporter thank you uh yeah man I just I just keep on thing we just had Yanis on on inside he's the best be honest yeah I got to get you one inside work out this bit yeah dude yeah Akash it was our conscious bit this week and Akash has this great bit I'm not gonna I'm not gonna take away the whole the whole episode but just to give you guys like some insight into the episode and the bit is will you tell it you can see I just went wrong this is the premise so the way I went to Rome I saw all this beautiful thing that's not the Pantheon I saw the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel and when you see beauty like that it really makes you realize what America completely wasted it slaves oh my god that's all its gonna seize your [ __ ] dude but I just need more after to make it a [ __ ] it's such a good and what we got to talk about and I'm not gonna lie people have been like tweeting me about I wonder if you've been getting tweets I check Instagram sorry real quick just so you know I'm not a hospital stories but this just this is but this is what it is I was supposed to be a guest on the podcast two or three weeks ago and my father same thing in the hospital he had congestive heart failure so it's horrifying thing here and then they did all the tests and this was just hope they did all the tests I was in the same boat as you crying I'm like my dad has congestive heart failure I can't deal with this you know I couldn't do the podcast I was like I can't do all the tests find out that it wasn't it look like congested farm fare he just had eaten so much pizza the night before good it's a true thing yet his system was so overloaded with sodium that it was mimicking congestive heart failure what a fat [ __ ] my dad is I had to cancel a huge great opportunity in my life because he had [ __ ] pizza and doughnuts on dialysis like a fat [ __ ] egg of a person that I admitted congestive heart failure so that's what a piece of [ __ ] he is I'm just like she's okay your mom's gonna be okay about this bit right someone maybe like younger comics but some just weren't but like they actually had good ideas really about yeah and i retweeted one all right comment someone on Twitter too you'll eventually see it but like and I'm forgetting so I wish I got their names but uh you know sometimes when you're a little bit further away from something you have a better you know a better way of going at it and man one one guy said and again I don't want to give away to show you guys and check it out but like one guy said it was something about how it was like you have to be upset at the slave owners because that's what you're saying right slave owners wasted or something because it's like look I think it was something to the extent of like look what black people were able to do once they got freedom like from nothing like create all this art great this amazing stuff you know and it's like you could have had it you know was going there was some kind of man it was it was really cool to see people attached to it so go check it out man did you guys see the Grammys I'm really gonna watch it I don't watch it now did you go no I didn't actually go that because you were in LA yeah I was just doing all this [ __ ] did you make - the rock nation brunch funny story about that I did not write yeah so do say Palooza guys you know the bar for a funny story is getting skull [ __ ] I was kidding skull that's why it's gotta be male rape well yeah now didn't happen that way oh no no I didn't wait you had an invite but didn't go yeah I supposed to go with wale and then what happened while I got a gig out in DC oh I wasn't gonna go without him you're gonna be plus one nah sorry was not skull-fucking but dude dude Diddy is such a force he really kind of like owned that brunch yeah like if you look at all the pics and stuff like that it looks like Jays a guest yeah this looks like the diamond ball for like black folks yes but they know every year no it's like at the Metropolitan gala Met Gala that's what's cool yeah was wild did you watch the Grammys at all no I have no I I don't know I know Nicki you said is it's done and I don't know why I think cardi one rap album of the year oh yeah Nicki's Hardy be destroyed yeah she destroyed dude oh well yeah I just think the Grammys are so stupid yeah I can't watch I can't watch award ceremony it actually makes me uncomfortable to watch truly I'm truly uncomfortable watching it and I've been skull-fucked at these grams right the Grammys like and this is the saddest part and drink kind of touched on it yeah I was about to say a groove is something I had said prior right which is like Luke is a [ __ ] about the Grammy if you're touring and people like is just with my stand-up like I don't give a [ __ ] about any of these stupid awards - that I'm never on theirs I can sell out shows people who are [ __ ] with me I can create my own thing I already won I don't need to be this like variety list oh yeah right yeah so the guy that walked out of that variety show last you remember that variety killing it hey [ __ ] makes three million dollars a year exact like I don't give a [ __ ] yeah so all these people think they won because they got some retweets comedy shouldn't be so political or whatever though I dude that everybody yes yeah that from down south yeah so basically so some I'm looking at this ground like while [ __ ] does this annoy me so much I think this is what it is it's like it just shows how unsatisfied entertainers are it's like you have everything you have millions of dollars you have fans you can tour around the world and you're so desperate for validation you're willing to go on TV and potentially lose yeah like an award that's given to you by someone who has no [ __ ] clue about music what does it prove the award doesn't mean [ __ ] like what is like what does the award through the-- what does it prove the or person who knows nothing or just an average person oh he won a grammy is what it's like a credit it solidifies you it proves you in a certain way to say oh maybe I should check her out like Kacey Musgraves won Album of the year so a lot of people are gonna be like yeah I guess I should check her out cuz we give the critics power right as soon as we realize it critics don't know [ __ ] you know what bothers me about award shows and more so Oscars and all of your acting ones as these people get up there and they all make speeches about [ __ ] Trump and we need to help poor people meanwhile you are literally gating them off as you walk on a red carpet with a bunch of other Corian Ayers and pat yourselves it's all fake and Oscar's is not that's not even about it's just about who's who had the best publicist it's all PR it's all about money and this is not knocked to kardi I [ __ ] love cardi she's great I loved her story I love how antic she is it's not not to her but like what makes her album better or we good what is the metric of the Grammys is it sales then no is it the taste of music well some people would say no yeah right like there's literally no metric it's right thing designed to sell paper towel commercials and they know how desperate performers are to be patted on the back so they'll just get up there to show up it's like also crazies we all she's right everything we put out is art and then we're having an art competition who the [ __ ] ever thinks aren't is like a competitive thing that can just be judged no artist actually believes that you can just judge me I can give you reasons why I think mine is better like that's not what they're using a pig figure out the Grammy who's actually the most musically talented how do you break the nail on the head he said guys who are at the awards it didn't win anything like this is the opinion based sport yeah that a fact baseboards just cuz I have this trophy doesn't mean I did better than this person and he was about to go somewhere else with it right it produces like I don't know a lot about me I don't know too much about music but like say if he wasn't in jail like what Takashi 6:9 would he be out the Grammys or be at the key would be there it's like that's a guy like right he sells as many tickets as they as anybody and like he may not win a Grammy who cares I mean with us I mean being a Grammy Award winner it definitely puts you in a different like pedestal as far as like you know to the industry to the industry like what has most people as we just getting there is an accomplishment in his own fair but like as we go into this like stage at a business where it's really just about fandom yeah and like the gatekeepers really aren't there how important is it like did the Avengers win Best Picture no no but if won a billion dollars as a matter of fact the people who won Best Picture the moves who want this picture nobody see nobody ever sits like it's like someone telling you McDonald's it makes shitty food and it's like right word can't be bad exactly yeah I feel I've had to step out first oh yeah I feel like even we are kahshanna or I think you at cons and I were talking about before like just like how specifically into comedy like why like I when I was working trying to do promotion for my special it's like me coming on this podcast is way more valuable than doing the Tonight Show yeah it's like but to the industry oh you do the Tonight Show Wow let's work with Chris when in reality I want to sell tickets I'm gonna sell tickets from here I'm not gonna from flagrant to from any these podcasts I'm not gonna sell them from doing five minutes of my [ __ ] call me on The Tonight Show so I think a lot of people utter down version watered-down version because I can't dude literally my job I have jokes but my daughter is half Puerto Rican I have jokes about her being half Puerto Rican imitating her talking like a puerto rican little girl cuz that's how she talked and they said i can do those jokes but i can't imitate her voice i was like it's my daughter dog it's my kid and I have to listen to some white [ __ ] idiot with you know blah glasses that's dressed like not like I can pair you guys to rappers a lot because stand-up comedians have kind of had to find their own way in like right new digital streaming world so like especially with the Grammys there's such thing as the Grammy bump you know saying like if you're on the Grammys and like oh I've never heard of Kacey Musgraves I'll give that a listen then you got 100 million whatever people watch it that makes sense but to artists to creators like success is measured in so many different ways like this war so satisfied with having that Grammy that they don't really give a [ __ ] that they sold like 4 million records they don't give a [ __ ] that they did all this but depending on who you ask you know I'm sure there's certain people who would go up to you and be like oh I don't need to have these sell out shows and build my independent fanbase I got a Oscar I got a Netflix I got this thing and it seems like an antiquated thing for most people right but for you guys like it's just like rappers kind of picked it up quickly kinda like you know when I look at the comedy game I see it 10 years behind the rap game like this out of the you know the blueprint I put out is very similar to how people do with music yeah I'm basically a SoundCloud comic yourself oh my my stuff for free for people to listen to and then I you know make money from the shows right so I love watching what how musicians work in the world but just with me specifically I let's put it this way let's say I have a comedy album right and they want me to go and win the award or something like that right I'm going there not for the award I'm going there for everybody who's listened and who's like rode hard for me yeah when I wasn't getting anything and when that isn't for that that thing right there isn't for me it's for them to go hey we all right it's for your fans like when you go up there that [ __ ] really oh I'm how it is as a musician now it's like now your fans Vala did you way before you know here's for the day ones who saw something it's like finally these late [ __ ] see it well alright that makes us I would go out of respect to the fans mm-hmm for me I could give a [ __ ] about receiving any war but addressing people say that and then they actually win it and then they're like holy [ __ ] you know I mean care like when I was at a point in my career I think that would be honestly I don't think you would I just like when I was at point what I had nothing right and like man Chris and I would probably had conversations at this time where it's just like we're just so waiting for something hey we got to show benders yeah yeah Montreal Just for Laughs new face like nobody cared no no any nothing so we needed those things to make our data the second I started to have something all those things were meaningless meaningless it's young it's like why rich people don't need a dress cool yeah right it's like what is Warren Buffett really gonna wear that makes him feel rich right right just not the paper what is the Dow Jones Act right right like there's not there's no reason for it so yeah I agree I think I think like yeah what you said like once you start to get things it's like okay what's really important what's now like at this point I honestly first of all now now and it's just a couple years ago it wasn't this way but now being famous is actually a scary thing to me I don't know Lee don't be the lead of a movie out of your [ __ ] movie have my whole life ripped apart no thank you I'd rather just the fans of mine come to my comedy shows and put out and watch a movie than I put out on my own universes now it's the same reason why we won't have any more good politicians right it's like why would anybody that's smart go into politics yeah literally there will be no who's declared for the presidency this year has all been like Oh camel-hair she did this quarter he did that within 20 minutes minutes of saying it was gonna run yeah kamal harris [ __ ] her boss to get ahead book her [ __ ] a guy yeah yeah i would say they would they would they would repeat guys to [ __ ] sure yeah i think the beauty and appeal of a trump right is who cares all right throw at him he got that billionaire don't care [ __ ] though yeah but what we spoke what we were speaking about before when we talked about like nobody wants reasonable anymore it's like that's true politics not like nobody like John Kasich right like he was the only candidate like he was seemed reasonable like a reasonable candidate he's like someone who's like pretty much down the line and they lean left or lean right like Obama just leaned left he wasn't extremely left yeah like you know Bernie Sanders or you know a Casio Cortese these people are to the left and then Trump is who to the right right so it's like that's what it but because of Trump now because of that extreme one way another way you can't be reasonable by any stretch of the it doesn't get clicks man it doesn't get like reason he is reasonable the jokes are reasonable right yeah you need flagrancy mm-hmm you know I mean a man like I said if cardi B ran for president tomorrow she 100 because all the way one thing right now you could say to do or do to her that's good oh my god cardi B I'll tell you right now if you put anybody Trump would beat everybody right anybody the left has to throw out Trump would win because he's so extreme the left doesn't have anybody as Extreme as Trump he tweeted the cortes gonna run she would yeah I've been saying this a lot people like yeah maybe maybe be advice she could possibly be advice - oh she might get vice and it's so funny this is you know I was saying this on brilliant idiots maybe he was a couple years ago I was like what the damn is neat now this was after the election after what after after Trump I was like what the Diamonds need to do is stop being not Trump and start being something and what that means is leaning into the extreme version of liberal politics right right because Trump leaned in to the extreme of conservatives and it's so great and that's why Bernie popped off Johnny leaned extra 80 percent tax a 90c say you gonna take all rich people yeah you're gonna murder their college we're free today free lie to them what is problem we're gonna build a wall and they're like oh that's not enough Mexico is gonna pay for it yeah just say yeah I'm banning countries from flying here it's like whoa okay please and [ __ ] yeah food handler you can't worry fights were going from Sudan to unravel ban on [ __ ] desert Abu Dhabi spicy right out there it works and now they're getting spicy yeah and it's working right this cortez chick he's cute enough people like looking at her New York attitude to it yeah there's like stuff that's already came out like her dancing and stuff for people it just works her you know her green deal she's like no more planes people like yay [Laughter] we're gonna build railroads and give jobs like alright lady she has to run in two years I think because they're gonna tell they're gonna tell her this momentum won't last six years he's not gonna keep building its building at a frenzied pace right now yeah and this [ __ ] the only savvy politician on Twitter constantly got any time she quote tweet some [ __ ] you knows you want you know she's gonna have a better response than ever I was gonna [ __ ] retweet like it was gonna be other people popping up wherever her people are gonna be like this exact time if I mean if I if I was the Dems I would say run her as a as a vice and do the same thing that Palin did remember Sarah Palin with McCain yeah just drunk like McCain is gonna be boring let her drum up all the wild [ __ ] say all the crazy respond to people you be the barking dog and then you have someone it's a little bit more reasonable right who will be your den because the reason be a president the reason will do is gonna bring some people over yeah she's gonna drum up all your buzz she's gonna handle Trump so you can take the high road that's what I was gonna be a it can't be I can't be another woman no no absolutely not Reggie Miller looking at Cory Booker now Cory Cory okay it says he's lying if he was just say yo I'm gay then the people will get behind it but it's like when an actor for so long it's like you know [Laughter] [Laughter] it's it's interesting I think I would do I'm gonna see more people to come out probably not to Chi I would say Bernie should run again no no no Bernie's Idol why he's got that Hillary thing girl you got that Hillary spank on him what do you think because if Hillary didn't win you know me then she be a Stoli Stoli but there's people that are just like so anti him but why who a lot of people as many people are as an anti Booker because like oh he's not honest with me yeah those same people that were so gung ho for Hillary I don't think you're gonna be like okay I guess we'll give Bernie a try after dates went so hard to get the [ __ ] stolen from us nah bro all right you put you give them a chick so they think they're supporting a chick Bernie I mean I think the honestly governorship say we're doing the exact same [ __ ] we just talked about those stalkers were like Oh his name's not even really beta so I could get the vote of a sir people I just started calling myself Hector yeah wouldn't you be like oh you're kind of phony you're trying to win a popularity compliment see yeah I mean he just changed his name and he was like you know he's Mexican nobody easy yeah you know you do though when somebody you got such a contrarian this guy trying to agree with you like nah but what do you know what I said about yeah yeah what is my that's always been about Crossman's if you look Mexican you get treated like a Mexican you're Mexican look for exactly like you are what people treat you as right right like in there he's that makes music El Salvadoran Dora it's like yeah what was hit thing in benders the bus stop bus stop away still jokes not the fact that like he pretends to be like this you know Latino Chicano but yeah point is I think we just don't like I don't like fraudulent so that's why I [ __ ] who kind of runs as him and that's why Trump won I think no fraudulence I mean he was a piece of [ __ ] who owned that he was a piece of [ __ ] he wasn't he right dream yeah he went around with the hat he said oh it's [ __ ] is terrible we got to go back to patron episode for those of y'all don't know for those [ __ ] army they do so much for supporting the fastest-growing patreon in the [ __ ] world we got to see where we're at but it's [ __ ] moving quick bro this is insane so right now we have over 5,000 patrons and for them to jump when we said we were gonna do this will I go if we ever get to 5,000 patrons and at that time it seemed crazy if we ever get the 5,000 patrons Akash is gonna wear well now we've changed it Akash gonna wear it I love Pakistan's shirt anyone this is no way I'm gonna wear this is what a feminist looks like shirt and then cash is gonna wear the make America great again when you first put these goals up that was 75 already let's go baby [Music] tight man Christa's Fight Club patron and you put these goals up I was like oh this should be that Maggie to cool down by the time we get 990 or something like that right the second I hit 5,000 inbox flooded just pictures of you all the [ __ ] with the Photoshop tomorrow it's going crazy so akash cooking up some good [ __ ] it should come by wednesday but it might not there there i tried to pay for whatever shipping i could on others gonna get here cuz i gotta make it like our shirts and then send a lot nicer and if I'm not I you know I'm going India so like whenever when we will this will happen this plan the gear has been ordered this will happen yeah this is happening on the podcast there's enough context know I don't really [ __ ] with you don't [ __ ] with Trump you [ __ ] and wait till you see the Hat we like I realize it's funny like everyone people will sign up this how dedicated no big yo how do I listen I beside for a month so much but it's crazy so this would you go you a patreon.com flagrant two and then you can check out the feet it almost kind of looks like Facebook the female right yeah and it and then you can scroll down and on that scroll you see different comments people post and [ __ ] you're part of this community that we're building where the flagrancy lives and there's no holds barred it's actually absolutely wild there's a discord link where [ __ ] gets even crazier than this quarters worth that's like the rated-r version especially like the radio version of the patreon [ __ ] channel I pick up a dick talk channel not say for why this is flagrant so it's divided up in different things so if you wanna have a sports combo here you wanna have dick talk and everybody's always dropping hypotheticals at cool [ __ ] it truly is morphing into this community that we've envisioned a right order before it got real cookie absolutely it's funny and any leave and nobody has know it feels like it feels like um like we're in like some like communist country and we're like one like hippy back we got this one under like a speakeasy but it's a [ __ ] comedy speakeasy it's so cool to see especially in the sensitive assets on the moonshine fans alcohol in the 20s bro I love it so metal checking it man we gotta [ __ ] do it I want y'all to you know go support it and then still happen you gotta give a little time but it's gonna happen we ordered every - yeah you're gonna get a lot of people [ __ ] gonna love that scene you and I know my um my my daughter's mom right Porto Rican her father like from Puerto Rico huge Trump supporter right you transport it yeah because his whole thing was like he loved Donald Trump because he's like I can't it's like a more chauvinistic problem then there is races problems like I can't women is a woman's not gonna be in charge of the country I'm live from Sunset Park so unfortunate like he had like a massive heart attack and died right like very like two months after Trump got elected somebody was a big you know he's to wear the hat every day buttons [ __ ] everything so we're gonna wait it was like it was like an open Trump support it was like wild because I was like you know holy [ __ ] like you know like your daughter like your granddad alright whatever but he was just [ __ ] open about it he like called me a [ __ ] for now sorry you know so he passes away I'm like you know my daughter's mom is like really upset you know of course and she's like look can you come to the funeral I'll make the arrangements because I just need you there she's like you know let's be honest she does have any money she's like I need your credit card that has your [ __ ] name on it I need the ID of the matching no I'm kidding with your tax rebate from truck baby absolutely yeah so so you know she's like all set whatever and I was dealing with you know helping and then the guy I'll never forget it was his funeral home on 4th Avenue Park Saab old-school Italian guy right Leone's funeral home and it was like just [ __ ] real-deal Mafia [ __ ] and he was like he were going along along and then he says at the end he goes she's a political affiliation like you know we're cuz we I didn't know anything about this guy and then uhm my kid's mom was like you know he voted for Trump and then little [ __ ] tear rolled down this guy's eye I swear to gosh he's like a tear it goes that man that man voted for Donald Trump and I said yeah he goes he goes okay he goes here's the funeral home he's like what we like to do a number one it's like we'd like to make America we'd like to give you guys for free a make America great again flower arrangement it's like we'd like to put it by the body and she was like no I don't want that please no he goes all right let me just do so can I put anything can I put a button in there sticker nothing she's like you know so can't do it so then he says and then goes you know what I mean she just [ __ ] if you lost her dad you know and he's like what what's your problem with this guy like what what's your issue with this [ __ ] guy and now I'm like what am I gonna say like what do i do right now so I'm just like staying quiet she's like now like she's being very calm and he's like look he's like we had a funeral in here he goes we had a funeral in here last night right he goes he's [ __ ] Hillary support is right oh he goes so I told him I said you guys thought up look do me a favor he goes tell me to so we're gonna come up with two things that Donald Trump didn't do that's [ __ ] amazing for this country just two things now [ __ ] that industry called the mandersohn clueper because in Anderson Cooper doesn't [ __ ] about to real problems if you could come up with two real problems that Donald Trump has created for our country he goes I'm gonna give you the funeral the whole thing for free he goes guess what they paid full price you can't tell me one thing Trump II didn't do it goes if Hillary would have one fee he goes if Hillary would have one everybody we cutting their [ __ ] dicks off her but like see the thing is what Trump supporters do is like what he did it's like he did that and then like because she like he loved her you know her father who passed away love Trump he gave her the funeral for like thirty forty percent off so now she's like you know what like I don't love him but like you know maybe I'd vote for him because you know it's like what the [ __ ] really what they do yeah the beauty of Latino women cuz she gave a [ __ ] about your money mhm I'll never know a girlfriend to give a [ __ ] about the man's money you know I mean yeah well I mean you know what I mean if she wants [ __ ] matching earrings and shoes with her daughter then you know you gotta take a hit you know what do you want babe do you want to [ __ ] it yeah good yeah a few more minutes you guys bought your underwear yeah I got a fuckton you said it was 9:30 no 9:45 5:45 okay yeah I leave in two minutes whatever you want two minutes okay so while we start talking about some Deportes it's awesome we got there's an interesting thing happened so the AAA @f Alliance of American Apparel Alliance of American football this is a fledgling football league professional football in the in the US had its first games this last week for I think the big upper solely right I'm not sure who it is maybe boom so there's a bunch of teams and I don't know exactly how many teams all I know is that there was a game and on that same game the Rockets played yep and I want you to guess what had a higher rating yes take a guess yeah yeah hurdles I heard others a solid Arden cannot sell [ __ ] tickets people are not into the way the style of play now granted people love football now is how I don't want to get to be fair like when the XFL debuted like they had similar huge numbers Oh initial number yeah okay so difference on the second week is when they went on the XFL popped off my general feeling and the feeling I got from people was they were excited this is about to take on the NFL right now we remember what the XFL was and we're just like alright man you got some shitty players but like there was no ads for it I remember the [ __ ] ad campaign for the excess manatee but that's why we were hype he gots to buy it he's walking on an empty football field players play and it's about the mark it's like the art phones just being marketed well yes you know it is had no marketing we still gave a [ __ ] low expectations the same rules as NFL yeah I mean you can [ __ ] taste later hey I saw some quarterback I see that we don't even think they have the strap for that for the helmet helmet blue but um but but yeah I think like you what you're saying low expectations right key life we went in there not even knowing it was happening so we went in with a bar with like the lowest possible all this has to do is be equivalent to NCAA football yeah yeah and if you deliver a little bit more than that [ __ ] we're happy this Chevelle was gonna revolutionize the way we looked at football and it didn't and then boom and we expect it was we didn't realize it's shitty quality if you marketed this and the NFL seem weirdly okay with this like they got a bunch of ex NFL guys the NFL is not affiliated with this at all affiliated but they somehow seem okay with it there was some I think one of the quarterbacks for the Baltimore Ravens who played this year he's like third or fourth string having a good game I think was Josh Jackson he's a starting quarterback for one of these NFL G League that's it yeah that's what it is you know what they're happy if it becomes it you can be like the Euro Development thing right and dude I think it's a [ __ ] great idea the more I realize how useless most players are on an NFL team yeah the more realize how this can be a good scheme like like if the Patriots taught us anything wide receivers running backs they're useless so now we can get a me guys yeah and have a competitive football game yeah boom or yeah why is the XFL Troy I don't I think if you market it again different rules that's the thing I think that killed the XFL it's like I want to see like I don't even know what happened but you're telling me that you can get those late hits and you can hit like how Lawrence Taylor used to [ __ ] hit me but I'd watch that over the NFL I would you know cuz I want to see people get here that's the other thing that mean enjoy the flagrancy man you absolutely came out like around the time the NFL Blitz video games were real hot so they were trying to make that [ __ ] happen in real life the bat but now is the right well is like doing all these safety rules which is which isn't bad for the game but you leave a space open for danger yeah and the guys who aren't even playing football there's nowhere else in the world where they can play football this is lit they either are a bouncer at 1oak or they're playing football this is the only place that you can go besides that yeah you're willing to get seats of course it's like it's like with baseball it's like you I guarantee you it would take a little bit but I guaranteed if you had an all steroid league that would eventually sell more tickets at one I think baseball should have at least one batter again you could give them an aluminum bat and just let them [ __ ] up I gonna say one better than it gives their keyboards up and just listen we're stunt I think as America we're just done with the pcs we're done with now you now you're taking hits out of football like it's gonna lose radix not in our lifetime you know I think the next 50 years NFL's gonna be fine I'm think it's going anywhere but I don't know if it's gonna be here in a hundred years and you gotta start hitting people again these people pay then it's like any of the players don't care the players actually are saying that they feel like they're getting more injuries because they can do less they're like slowing themselves down because they don't want to get penalized so now they're hitting somebody awkwardly right because there's always gonna be that one person that pulls up a little too much yeah but when everyone's going full blast it's more it's better than being like okay let me rugby players don't get concussions yeah they get very few concussions the pads are would hurt you in football right because because I won't be apparently those another the guy who like that - who's a Nigerian doctor that made all the CT discoveries he said there's four sports you to stay away from boxing rugby football one other listener rugby's not not good for you but compared to football there's way less injury and it's because with football you can literally use your body whereas a moving vehicle just throw it in come the missile it's it yeah whereas rugby you have to like tackled your shoulder because if you attack with your head you're gonna hit your head [ __ ] cracked open that's true in a weird way the pads made football more dangerous yeah I mean I get it all right let's take a break for a second pay some bills here we got to thank again Adam and Eve for supporting today's episode remember this is free stuff this is Valentine's you are gonna be spending some bread on your girl won't you get some free stuff while you can you're gonna get some Jamie hats you're gonna get some Lube if you're gonna do some fun Tings all right well you can do is you can buy one item you get half off of it all right but once you do that and you put our offer code in flagrant you're gonna get free [ __ ] ten items okay you're gonna get six free movies then you're gonna get a mystery pack that includes an item for him an item for her and a special toy you're both enjoy all right that's free stuff plus free shipping that's a lot of free for Valentine's Day all right you're already spending tons of money hopefully coming to my show and Raleigh North Carolina Akash King will be there so Alex media unfortunately Caswell not know I won't be there but for a good reason what you're gonna tell us in one second okay so make sure you get the free Valentine's Day stuff head on over to Adam and Eve dot-com and make sure use the offer code flagrant that's Fla gr a and T flagrant because without there's no free stuff just go get your things get some condoms get something some Lube guess I'm [ __ ] like that get your half off get your free make your girl happy make your boy happy now Cass tell us where you're gonna be when you're not with yes sir next week and next Saturday I'll be at Los Angeles hosting the halftime is uninterrupted show for all-star weekend okay with Carlos Boozer nate robinson and willie cauley-stein from the Sacramento Kings we'll be talking about the first half of the NBA season giving away some midseason Awards talking a lot of [ __ ] trying to keep it as flagrant as possible in the LeBrons umbrella so you know if you guys can't make it out to Charlotte we would appreciate if you guys will check out halftime is uninterrupted on their Twitter website Facebook streaming everywhere go peep that support the homie and again Raleigh will be there 2-14 so that's Valentine's Day the 16th we're gonna be in Charlotte all right we got two shows at the comedy zone are cops coming with me as well Alex media down there as well San Diego I'm gonna be there the 22nd or 23rd and then LA the 28th this is of all February and that would be my last full views from the Syst show I think we got some tickets left for that second show first show sold out Thursday so make sure you gobble those up now let's get back to the show and we're back okay yeah I think that another viable option for football is definitely possible especially because of how boring mind-bogglingly boring pure baseball season is if anything I think the a F should be a summer league they came too early yeah now just anything sexual yes by thinking about probably big into the pause game the doozy skull-fuck Chrissy that was why it was it was so it's like dude Chris went through waters my man was traumatized reliving a past trauma put it during the summer you put it during the summer that league does not it's not gonna kill something to replace the NFL yeah but we will [ __ ] watch out of sheer baseball board yeah that that [ __ ] boring ass May to early August period when it's just baseball in sports nothing like tennis on SportsCenter is the worst possible time for sports so if there's any if the AF is anything like it's it's been the past couple of days the past couple weekends I'm all for it you know where the XFL actually so this the coach of the Dallas XFL team was on the ticket Bob Stoops Oklahoma coach that's a huge good huge get but he said something I was interesting I caught a little bit of the interview said we're not trying to and it's that thing the XFL smarter we're not trying to replace the NFL I love the NFL we just know that there's a lot of months where there's not NFL and we want to help you get some football in those months so these are getting smart about and then that might be the approach like you said lower expectations so now maybe the twenty thirty years down the road or however long so these three football leagues are being smart about it they're like we're not trying to the XFL the first time was kind of taking on the NFL head also that's what every whatever you like that's more so events though fledged drug dealer says right like I'm not coming on your territory fam I'm just gonna let me sell my [ __ ] over here but we can even work together method to send me your connect bubbled I and then eventually once it gets poppin yeah it's like hey I got a takeover it's not right I mean that's the Vince influenced old man he thrives off like competition but he the break I mean a clue he's learned his lesson the [ __ ] went south you know he's got some real football minds behind it he's marketing it a little better you know I'm saying that down was enormous I remember being hyped for the XFL I was in like ninth grade Jersey I was high oh he hate me that's kind of cool whatever but then the football is so bad you were like yo this ain't better and why was the football bad that's why I understand it's like it can't be worse than college because they all played in college there has to be you're not because you don't even get it's like a shitty college game like you're not getting the best college players who are going to the NFL you guys um on each team sure but they're there you got a couple boot ship players and that's the games we [ __ ] with hard and you have no loyalty like if I go to owe you or whatever even if they're bad in I understand that we went to the school so you have to you have to continue no have to but you you feel this loyalty to the school I get that also probably had millions of dollars to pay the best coaches XE fell on have that budget okay so there we go if if like we've sown a podcast where football is literally war and the best general wins has got nothing to do with the play or very minimal to do with the players on the field yeah a 60-40 coaching or fifty-fifty or whatever something like that I think it's ninety ten I think Belichick influences us more here's a good question put balichek on the worst team in the NFL how long before he's in the Superbowl again so put him on what the Giants are the times the worst I mean when he didn't have Brady he won eleven and five he didn't make the playoffs but he went 11-5 and that's a playoff record let's be honest but that's still you don't think bald chick takes the giant stuff easier Giants was take home Berkeley old uh bucket with Eli Manning you don't think he takes someone else no no no not only do I think that he does I think within four years of being the coach on any team he's back in the Superbowl but but you are so you're also talking about the best coach ever maybe in any sport mmm that's true he's so exceptional that's true Aaron Rodgers one of the best quarterbacks ever Mike McCarthy don't get any respect he will get you in the playoffs pretty much always that is true but let's change the sport now let's do the best basketball coach ever that is football football is much more warlike because there's more pieces on a chess board that's 22 so that's what I'm saying so knowingness okay so okay so so just if you take that coach if you get the elite coaches and that's the first thing you know XFL sure do they shouldn't throw any don't throw money at the players the players are gonna come because they're literally bagging groceries or they're playing a professional sport it's not like it's not like basketball players if you don't play in the league you go to [ __ ] Spain you make that's another thing man like the thing is the thing why basketball has been so successful not the NBA just basketball as a sport in general is that like one the athletic competition has kind of skyrocketed since the past time the last time the XFL started so you got that you got social media there's so many like college stars I'd love to watch play right now that I know aren't gonna get a [ __ ] lick of time in the real NFL so like you wouldn't go out to Johnny Manziel you know play quarterback for somebody or Colin Kaepernick or all these like really popular guys and count football or the NFL and play on the on the off season not competing with the NFL or any other sport for that matter if you put it in the summertime of course you gotta watch that and you're gonna have the whole Canadian Football League play yeah I don't think Canadian put believes in the summer no right I'm not exactly sure but I don't think it is right they're gonna come down and play because they're only making 30 grand a year to do that so okay I'll make another 30 grand now I'm making 60 grand a year to play 20 football games or however many football games it is yeah I mean you can put your body through that if you need we're talking about people who are literally doing almost minimum-wage jobs a lot of these guys unfortunately like especially if you left college early thinking we're gonna make a league you didn't get your education you know I mean like and you're not able to coach within the program that you started some of these guys go on to coach high school that is there have been like the Arena Football League was a thing but it's the same idea right you should be able to get went yeah but you didn't really watch it on TV and they weren't playing in any massive kind of Stadium well there's like how many arena football game is you actually watching TV beginning games just highlights yeah but it's still definitely way more successful in the ex-husband yeah exactly like it's still arena was like we're gonna morph this into our own thing I score I get high checked into the walls like a home is odd it almost feels like trampoline basketball where it's like balls or slamball it's like it's like this isn't basketball this is just the dunking element of basketball which isn't even my face you realize how little you care about dunking when you watch the only dunking what do you see that's the thing like you take the special thing and you do too much of it like if it's two or three amazing dunks a game that's great but if every [ __ ] point somebody gets like a home run in baseball yeah that's fun well is it the fact that [ __ ] Bryce Harper and Manny Machado I don't watch baseball but I know they're two very like good players yeah they're still in free agency like they still haven't signed to a team like and because those are guys are the big dominoes there's no like a hundred free agents have them inside there so no but everybody's waiting for that Dom fall before it's like if LeBron had the decision and was just like no I'm gonna wait real quick we got a salute star bender man oh okay go down to go my endless breakfa we took down the go-to which I appreciate well I didn't watch the whole I watched the fight on periscope I stole it my bad I was doing shows all night or Saturday so I couldn't be by the pay-per-view but I supported visually at least and but yo man it was just so crazy to see really destiny play out yeah like even when he was here I think he even said he's like I'm gonna headline a fight in my hometown or in my home back in like Australia he's from New Zealand so he ends up getting the UFC 234 in Melbourne right and then the main event cancels the day of the event so Kelvin Gastelum was supposed to fight Robert Whittaker they cancelled so his flight gets pushed up to the main event and then he takes out the greatest MMA fighter in history Anderson Silva and that takes out but he won a convincing decision and did it in amazing fashion man I'm so [ __ ] proud really dominated it seems like you don't be shut off that like that star quality like that we saw superstar by the way handed himself with the media all week and the [ __ ] poses and the fruit oh [ __ ] like everything was everything was so well done and people don't realize this the fight game is not about he happens to have skill fight game ain't about skill Logan Paul fought some other YouTube guy named ksi and made more money than all these fighters make remember it's about selling the [ __ ] fight it's wrestling will not a fake fight if it's sold right yeah that's press but it's called prize fighting for a reason and this kid he's a godsend for the UFC because with the John Jones [ __ ] popping off by dying we don't have Amanda Nunez just mowing through anybody who's even conceivably believed marketable yeah like you guys needed a star yeah and this guy looks like he's gonna be it yes I know Amanda Nunes or Nunez whatever is frightening for UFC because their whole model has been built around cute chicks are good at fighting right acute straight chicks are good at funny Amanda Nunez is just a bull dyke that is amazing at fight resilient bull who is who is incredible she is she could be a three division champ [ __ ] she's unreal with it powered you don't see that power the girls alright so back to - Izzy right so easy cells to fight from before he goes to the the open workout and other fighters got to pay attention as [ __ ] the selling of the fight happens the months up to him he goes to the open workout right and the dude at the end of the open workout you're doing your boxing you're doing your kicking and doing all that kind of stuff he is music there's some like funk choreographies you guys at the end of the workout the [ __ ] drops the people's elbow on the gun yeah for wrestling suit that is a clip that all content that is content that's gonna go and then when everybody sees that they go Oh is there a fight oh there's hard this weekend uh interesting and he's showing that you can hype a fight without just calling somebody a terrorist like McGregor's thing is you ain't hate me you're gonna hate me [ __ ] you I'm gonna say the most disrespectful thing ever and that gets people going this was hey this fight I can have fun yeah enjoy he's charisma personified man yeah got the [ __ ] you got the little kids the [ __ ] the Ruto poses and the [ __ ] the coolest I cartwheel in the ring beforehand oh he's got it on ESPN he's walking a cat in there 24/7 he's just walking a [ __ ] cat in his purse or wallet or something like that you're like what the [ __ ] is gone this guy dude it was it was very well executed and if you are a up-and-coming fighter or your friend is an up-and-coming fighter watch the blueprint mm-hmm the blueprint is set up there that is how you do it even if it's on the smallest level if it's it fights in your local town hype the fight in that where everything is content every interview you possibly do is content use it abuse it man because the brilliance of him is that he always said this only follows Instagram I calculate everything is calculated everything is thought through man every [ __ ] thing this guy's a genius he has thought through every [ __ ] thing he's gonna and he's been the fight game a minute a lot of these guys this like their first thing I do a couple fights and then they and then they get in the UFC right they're kind of thrown in he's fought at the top of kickboxing so he I think he learned all from all the mistakes etcetera coming up in these kickboxing Muay Thai world he's like okay oh I could have market that better okay but boom so now when you have the third time around it's like oh I'm ready to go right I know it works I failed and I learned what I have to do succeed and I would not be surprised if the next fight is in Nigeria man oh yeah oh that's definitely happening I mean see I bring him to Vegas or New York I bring him to America get him up there for America here's your guy the right dude at the right time because he set it on the post show interview oh I think I'm going back home like he talked about going back he's already said I already know it and and like and I get listen I back when i box had a little like smoker whatever like that how nervous I was and how [ __ ] like the only thing I could focus on this the first time I did a special right well first thought I couldn't think of a day past it yeah mommy's special I was so nervous and so excited about that one thing it is an amazing ability and this is not just in fight sports put it in anything to recognize the big moment and plan for what happens when you are victorious prior hmm because yeah you could lose in that compound that takes up 100% Oh Mike I don't want to think about that I'm gonna get too cocky I don't want this to [ __ ] up but there is a [ __ ] confidence and brilliance to being able to be like what's after this and that's and that's what you see when you see how he acts after the fight and how the content controlled out because he's earned that confidence boom I don't say I'm like you got to be super [ __ ] nice to be like okay I'm gonna do this I'm gonna beat this guy and then I'm gonna do all this and like it's UFC should think they're [ __ ] stars I got lucky stars next fight I think they got to give him the title if I'm if I'm the UFC I give them the title in America the kid becomes household name you know hopefully you give them a title with someone who's a good sparring partner but I mean that in terms of like [ __ ] can bring something else to the [ __ ] table because I put on ESPN dude and here's the thing if you have a guy who doesn't speak the language and it's just like barely getting through English it's like it's hard to have [ __ ] talk between them yeah it's hard to spice things so you own a guy who knows I'm a guy who knows very little about UFC so talk to me too the first you know much more than me I know next to nothing I know him and I know two other guys and that's why I'm gonna sing Jes demos fights by Beebe bread a different weight classes different classes yeah Conor McGregor they different different classes yeah yeah so I don't know who's in his weight class that I would know you know you know what I would put him up against I wonder if that one of the Diaz brothers can come up to middleweight how much does Nick Diaz fight at cuz they're just that's a good name you gotta you gotta feed him some names like he's authentic they probably both respect each other on someone but it'd be a good physical fight they're both strikers they're not gonna be on the ground [ __ ] making out the whole time I think would be a great fight you introduce them to America yeah and then right after that prize fight Lagos Nigeria you do it in a [ __ ] football state that's the same way you do a pro wrestling ro like leading up to Wrestlemania if you get you got the guy who wins the Royal Rumble this is his royal rumble yeah that big moment against this legendary guy right then you gotta give somebody what's called a heater right a guy you know he can beat but has a good name that's why the Diaz brothers are like perfect that's the heater example yeah give him a few of those heaters and then BOOM call off the champion at the big stage yada yada yada you put it in a stadium you sellout [ __ ] hundred thousand [ __ ] tickets and then it's over after what I'm asking who's the big star he mil away Nicky has a middle a pecan who's the big once he beats a Nick Diaz who's the other household name that's gonna be title fight boom so like if he doesn't fight the if the heater fight isn't a title fight he's got a fight probably Whitaker I think Robert Whittaker is the middleweight champ so maybe when he recovers from his leg hernia surgery they fight each other in Lagos so he has one more and then title or he does interim title mm-hmm is the next one is the title boom yeah but but I think for marketing purposes this is kind of great this kind of great thing about the UFC Dana White just makes people fight whoever the [ __ ] he wants ain't no oh you're ranked 2 so you get the mandatory shot like in boxing like it's what is most exciting styles make fights styles make fights though and shit-talking styles make fights too yeah that's not that's not limited just the combat like him and Diaz would be [ __ ] great [ __ ] television four weeks ahead of that cuz the ass don't give a [ __ ] he don't give a [ __ ] but he knows how to really like carry himself and Diaz is like we've seen him get his ass beat a few times yeah he's still gonna talk his [ __ ] but yeah and this is why the UFC's kind of corny is like you got ready for [ __ ] smoking weed like Brock Lesnar's done roids this you know I mean like John Jones has done coke Android like they've done all these [ __ ] up we'll talk some people get suspended some don't talking about suspensions let's kick this into high gear Kareem hunt you you put the blueprint on how this is gonna play out it's almost what exactly - predicting everything after you at the exact audio wait did you pick the exact team no no no I don't know the team I know the Browns forget him maybe you did I think I might have even said the Browns maybe I listen I know I didn't know who would sign him but I know he's a smart signing he walked his little corporate steps he's run buddy in who forgets the story just just so Kareem hunt was a Kansas City Chiefs super star running back star didn't have like star power but was like a game-changing young Kansas City offens wasn't quite the same when he left I see if he's playing on that Sunday I don't think it's a question very versatile player and then a video came out of him physically assaulting his girlfriend he shoves her a couple times she's on the ground as girl I think was just a dumb white girl a white girl that's worse so then he she's on the ground and then he kind of kicks her a little bit and a little like like a kickstand like he puts himself out here kids it wasn't like it was like a foot nudge I would names a kick it was a move you're moving a flowerpot no kick see push me look at this what is that it's like but Cleveland definitely said like how bad do you want to win like that was there that was the way they that's the way they should have positioned the signing what is more abusive going on 60 girl like that's motivational long-term emotional abuse or one gentle someone asked me would you rather Kareem [ __ ] right just give you a little booty nudge would you rather the Knicks not win a single game in a whole season I think don't you put that toe right up my ass deep in my ass bury that [ __ ] toe put on some Mexican cowboy boots with like this snake skin mouth I want the snake's mouth at the beginning don't move the toes straight ashy that's it the try with some sand on it I think the Chiefs are probably tight they didn't get him back yeah I would I was thinking about teams he could go to I didn't think the Browns to be high on the list they seemed like they were really in on Nick Chubb right it would be insensitive of us he's a woman re-sign cream hunt it would be insensitive your name is the Chiefs talk about abuse victims talk about people who have been kicked in the ass they've been kicked around all them cheeks have been kicked around take them right off their land my guy named hunt [Laughter] football-wise does this seem Baker Mayfield this year and just the way the Browns have made their go like football was I also say hoses are rounds I said this about the Browns in the one they kept Hugh Jackson yeah I said they're not worried about 26 or whatever last year was 2018 they're talking about 2019 you better [ __ ] prove it in 2019 that's and I start going after it because they got all their draft picks they got their quarterback give them a year and now we [ __ ] go after when you excite Kareem on you going after it mm-hmm I mean you trying to shove the competition of the ground just move the [Laughter] Mayfield man because he got run suck that dude man you got well you got one support Nick chops that's what you're saying this is not but he's not just a running back he's so versatile he is a pass catching running delivery on beau deep gumbo you put them on the field you make play better receiver than labia on bail and on anything that's close like he's a deep threat this guy is a wide receiver he is a running back if you're in a pinch and your kicker gets hurt he's right there [ __ ] he it does the first kickoff of the season realtor that's what I would do I'd lean into that [ __ ] they'll call us abuse victims put that [ __ ] out first and watch them kick it you need an onside kick er that's a tough I know the guy that know we need to make that mean the first time okay we need to make them in the second anybody listen to show right now skits a picture of Kareem hunt on the sideline with the kicker you don't even have to be talking but if they looks like they're talking they're in the same picture get that to a screen shot we're putting that out there you know the Rams kicker the leg he the foot you look like you was saving a cell phone you know what your son or slips out your hands he's like would you put out bro that's it who's just doing a little bobble guys are taken out of here he's gonna practice kicking someone so so Cleveland do you believe in Cleveland next season I don't believe in them necessarily but I know they're going after it I don't know if they're the team but I know they're going after it good enough I don't think so is there a sophomore slump with quarterbacks are you here about a sophomore slump a lot I don't dad had one so like it's a thing that happens but it's so the quarterbacks is tough to predict year to year it seems like but Baker seems like the truth he seems like he's super accurate which is what that's like the most important thing for a quarterback he's got that [ __ ] confidence confidence and Moxie people follow him he's a leader people I know what's his name cowherd who has no real takes to me he tried to say like he wasn't a leader they seems like break your teammates [ __ ] yeah yeah I [ __ ] with him I'm a big bake you know I've been a big Baker fan I love an arrogant white dude yeah we don't allow white guys any confidence it's very refreshing when one comes around yeah that's why we're friends respect all right what else we got let's see we got mad NFL [ __ ] is there one more I think there might be one more mad NBA [ __ ] but there might be one more NFL Oh Cuyler Murray going to the combine and just this just dropped we're recording this Monday night he his agent or somebody said he is we committed to being an NFL QB which seems like it's saying [ __ ] baseball I'm pursuing football whoa which seems like it's enough to make you a first-round pick and that might be a good I don't know about long term gonna make that mistake somebody gonna quarterbacks get over drafted that's just what the [ __ ] happens and this guy's got it he has every tool except he's skinny even height I mean listen there shorty breeze breezes 511 six feet five nine five eight oh he's listed at 510 and this is where the combine are gonna be very interesting what's his list what this real height listed at five that's right cuz come on you find exactly how long [ __ ] toenails are it's that specific in size matter Jared Goff you were concerned about cuz of his hand size right Kyle Emery gotta have my size hands ain't [ __ ] well there was one quarterback he's 511 Batre Ohio he's where they're trying to get him five nine and I don't even think he's five not my size you guys remember with uh I think was Kevin Garnett he would make them list him as six twelve no well six ten or six eleven because this he didn't want the 7-footer like name tag he wants to be known as a power but you asked me a mess and beat him six twelve exactly he want to be a power forward not like a center because seven footers more centers and yeah wow that's interesting with Kyler huh so we're gonna find out the realest of [ __ ] but I get that with the hand-sized with quarterbacks especially for like if you're in cold weather because if you need a pump fake of football like you don't have the biggest hand imagine when you're just playing in the backyard and you do a pump fake that [ __ ] can slide a microphone no is not even about the the pump fake it's about holding on to a football when you get hit not fumbling oh and I'll say this again I kind of know the football through a cowboy's lens when the Packers beat the Cowboys and the playoffs like two years ago yeah Aaron Rodgers had this insane pass to plays before that maybe he gets blindside blitzed and he gets set and the safety Jeff he [ __ ] destroys him blows him up Rogers is just kind of holding the ball out there but it doesn't he doesn't fumble it and everybody's I have a [ __ ] does this guy not fumble because I asked him after he held his hands up he goes size matters nobody didn't say that let's go Aaron drop the balls on that's like I have big hands I'm not gonna fumble that easily you're not just gonna you gotta swipe at the ball you're not gonna hit me is gonna come out and even then I got a good grip on it I don't think it matters as much as people say right but I think if you're a five [ __ ] seven or whatever he's gonna be listed at and you're mad slight and you're getting knocked over by 300-pound linemen I don't know man I worry about this kid I think if anything you need to go to a team where he can sit for a year I actually think the Giants would be a good team for him and I hate saying this is a Cowboys fan cuz I think he'll be good but you got Eli for a year yeah you draft this kid you let him try to put on any way you can put on for one year all you're doing is throwing and lifting and just getting your body ready yeah I also good I just think he's so dumb to commit to football well here's why quarterback is different because if you're a first round draft pick it's guarantee bread now get Baker Mayfield is number one overall so he's will not because he's not going to be won overall I don't think Baker Mayfield got 32 million guaranteed so he baseball has that potential and he's nice but his contract I think for baseball and you can look it up I think it's 3 million he's signing bonus like like for our four or something like that and then so what they my understanding I write an article has said that they wanted to get the Athletics up to 15 million guaranteed so he would take half the amount of guaranteed then he might get from going number one in football to play baseball which is smart because you'll have more longevity yeah but he's basically going yo I could tear my ACL in either sport gosh which one is gonna give me the most guarantee and on some level it's like that changes you your family your next family is and you got one shot at that guarantee after you get that first check yeah now we're now we're into now we're into like a free agency where it's like I'll play one year ago so it's on that first one I got I've listened to more again I always listen to sports radio station in Dallas and Kyle is from Dallas so he's I grew up actually where Frisco yeah Plano I think I think it's playing out something like I somewhere around there he knows he loves white girls probably that that much I'm pretty sure but that's because he's from Dallas the suburb of Dallas were i didn't just pull this up like according to MLB insider Murray's gonna return most of his 1.5 million signing bonus 5 million keep it yeah I'm about to John if I'm the first-round draft pick that signing bonus is that's happening quite no question and first of all a guy on the ticket is friends with a one of Calamari's family friends so it's kind of whatever but he said everybody seems to want him to play baseball but his heart is football he really loves football right and if you're a quarterback dog I'm look again I'm a cowboy fan the contract number I just saw thrown out as an estimate for Dec six years 168 million 60-plus guaranteed and this is a guy we're not completely sold on but the market rate for quarterbacks just keep going up and at some point I think it's gonna hit a ceiling where it has to come down right but he getting 100 million to play quarterback if he's good right and if you have 30 million guaranteed and then a hundred million if you're good that's it who cares you're basically you won't get 30 but he'll get 15 whatever contract more than 1.5 yeah yeah two contracts you're out the [ __ ] game who could say no yeah who could [ __ ] say no Wow I worried because he's he just seems mad thin and I one draft guy I read a lot who was like very well-respected said he doesn't have the frame that can put on muscle that easily but it's it's worth taking a shot if that's the game you love you can get a bigger signing bonus take that chance yeah and apparently he didn't do that great in spring training in Oakland ooh maybe that's why some other like little thing I heard on the I wish I'd written it down was this is a couple weeks ago like the numbers he was putting up weren't fantastic that athletics are going on potential really with him huh okay so he might be trying to rig the system he's like yo I might not be good at either one of these shits who's gonna give me the most guarantee he's also pretty confident like he's in his mind he's a mean he's an athlete that was really what a Heisman this guy's not lacking for no but they [ __ ] up on that if not number one he's a very close to what hurt yeah I don't know I heard something on the ticket they're like he didn't great numbers in baseball like whatever limited spring training [ __ ] whatever he did well her she said like to him two of the college coaches like he's the one quarterback a year were you like you don't want to be the guy who passes on him you know I'm saying so it's like they said he said something on the lines like yeah he's athletic but like he's got the same kind of stuff that Baker Mayfield had where he he was a lot of pocket pass and the people are so kind of blinded from like this his his slight bill book right that you think he's just got all this from athletics ISM it's like it's not that oh I think he's a great passer he got a great arm he's smart he accurate it seems like from what I've seen I'm I'm no draft expert but like he if he is six feet even not six-four two-twenty b6b if he's drew brees dimensions number one traffic I know he's nasty nasty as a QB and he can run the running his secondary though like he can just do that but as a QB he's still nasty I feel like we're kind of getting to that point where you don't need to be the six foot four to you know but we'd never had five nine five eight whatever his real height is that's always Flutie Flutie might have been five nine but again he you know he wasn't great and then he was pretty good but like if he can do Flutie that might work maybe that was the one thing I thought of but like yeah that's you know I think he's a good quarterback it's gonna be really interesting to watch what happens with him though and I think he needs to go somewhere where he can sit for a year not because he's too rawls a QB but he needs to bulk up yeah just let your body adjust to what you're about to put if he falls to eight and um Jacksonville and I don't feel like giving up a lot for foals I would just [ __ ] draft this kid let bortles play out his little shitty ass deal and then when he's ready he's ready huh this is just him and Haskins right those are the top quarterback nobodies in the draft land that's another thing that's another reason why he's going stuck yeah waits a year cuz he's not even a guy Herbert is coming out he's supposed to be really good next year - who was coming out no next year there's a few guys but yeah if you're the if Herbert probably was his name wasn't him something Bobby Jake Herbert Herbert I mean like both these guys any quarterback that Stephens getting overpaid yeah so if you are a quarterback and you can get the [ __ ] in this dress yes that makes perfect sense do you take the chance on unfair to Giants I said that I said you got Eli for a year don't I would take an offensive line defensive line nobody else matters you know my TV's do matter though I don't think so I mean the giant office mind is terrible but cuties are like I feel like the offensive line is something you could fix within a year like I don't think that's some place they've been trying for three four years it hasn't happened and last year I think they [ __ ] up not drafting a QB I mean Cole get it if you get a franchise QB get them yeah that is here's the rookie year yeah because of me running backs first of all they don't last super long a quarterback can play 15 16 years running backs don't seem to be productive that long that's fair second you get running backs in the second third round all the Fremont fourth round draft pick all meaningless here's the thing I do not understand about the second-tier professional football leagues coming up right why would anyone play second-tier professional football as an offensive lineman there is like you said you're a bouncer at 1oak or you're playing football what the money can't be that different if they're not getting paid in the league it was I'm you love as opposed to just stand how do you love it I think what is it you love their soldiers I feel like that I feel like it's different tears I feel like there's different tears like I feel like what's offensive I get you matchup with alignment defensive linemen that sounds fun take your aggression out you know it's just like hitting a heavy bag the offensive lineman you get shit-faced all game like you haven't got past me points so it's raw competitive like a quarter shutting down the guy that's trying to be the aggressive ah and offensive lineman is shutting down the defensive line make sure watch how you can yeah ah so you have to make it a one verse one game whatever you steal the bacon and you're not getting basically right Red Rover Red Rover come on over whatever you know that's in public school [ __ ] I was ill the bacon guy though still the bacon was my shirt yeah you just gotta get there first huh dodgeball I feel like like I was saying before I select these different tiers with like offensive lineman that get like chosen early you kind of see like they're NFL guys pretty early on in their career whereas I think the secondary leagues you got a lot of people off the street like some people can lure you to be walking now like hey you seem like you to be blocking come over here yeah I feel like that's that's you know I'm thinking wildly under estimating how hard the defensive line oh no I'm saying if you're a secondary guy not in the NFL like it's like that [Laughter] except quarterback any position you can learn any position outside of quarterbacks gotta be a [ __ ] line we know Dewayne Brown what aback what is cornerback how is that hard to learn follow him Cavs call it right now any position listen I mean playing defensive line we gotta get him on the shoulders pick up we leave the voicemail how is it that much playing defensive line all right but playing defensive line what is there to learn it's Black Friday you run in for the TV deal the best deal right and then you get the TV and then you get out that's playing defensive line how so it's like you can't learn Black Friday in three months I'm saying you're already strong you're already athletic you're already fast by rote a place matters what are you crazy you just [ __ ] move the guys don't get the [ __ ] TV I'm being listen well I'm just saying you weren't a good offensive lineman for me so I said I would get it my first try I said three yo if you gave me three months of training you'll get good star we go right back to Sweden oh great three months of training we go to Sweden we slap the [ __ ] out of that I got you with mad [ __ ] swim moves or whatever you need it do me you are not a very basic quarterback if I may say so just one of those things where like cornerback obviously I feel like that's hard these are going against raw speed so I'm tired of this bit why you cutting legs out from under me it's not a bit why can't I just believe this you hate me no way you believe this for like honestly someone steak takes my wallet I've run after them that's a good point go like this what imma go oh you do shifty no I'm gonna go after you I'm gonna find my wallet that's being a quarterback only the person stole your wallet is running at you with it I'll tell you exactly how you learn how to do it go any position go the ball gets thrown up again middle linebacker no quarterback the book is thrown up in there you even got a catchy it's a success if you just hit it mmm-hmm oh gosh that's a success you slapped me five when the ball gets thrown up in the air and I'm in the same position as the wide receiver and I don't catch it nice looking you know the arguing with him you know what I argue about how many different things he gonna do he's gonna go either straight he's gonna go straight [ __ ] right he's gonna straight make a left is so stupid like you have like no it's not like it's not like when you your boys are like wrestling and you and socks and your slippery you got cleats so even if he do yeah but I could dig this cleat and then I'm back with them the key changes everything I'm imagine I have my strong ankles and this is prior to my when I turn my ankle look at how much that cleat like okay give me any busy middle linebacker right didn't you just pull your back lifting the [ __ ] bag my whole back shut down breaking down and hit the sheikah no I didn't say my body would hold up but I just said that I could learn it three months in I could middle linebacker first of all she this challenge you I'm right wait don't met anybody can you say middle linebacker no okay help on the side that's the easiest linebacker if you asked me the hardest one is side side linebacker cuz that's not even what it's called you ready this middle linebacker ready uh-oh what is it what is he calling out what is it that's his yelling I'm pointing right yeah I don't know what everybody else is doing just as hard as a quarterback to play quarterback and to play with a lot back okay there's no way Brian Urlacher is smart this there's no way I know there's centers are like the smartest football players center that's what's the guy the hands to the guy the ball between his legs yes like a thing you don't think that I could handle the [ __ ] ball this is what takes a lot of genius oh wait when you say hike then I give it to you yeah and then afterward you got it I like how the various you're taking this I like how serious you're really defending to the center they easy first of all what does the center do after he hikes it he just stands there just stands there he don't read the defense's you don't tell you what's coming this guy can't read you you're talking about a guy whose job is hike and then hand the ball I thought uh what's his job he's not even the goblin he's he has to be on the same page with the quarterback flow know which defenses are coming from where how many ways are there plenty to play it's a book of place if you if he is what he'll do if he is house you gotta do that day you got nothing to do that day eat calories do you don't even have to lift but maybe you lift right yeah you don't have to do cardio let's hold the way I'm saying quarterback would be difficult that one is difficult defensive line mehran is not a quarterback he's an offensive tackle okay he's a what offensive tackle left tackle I think is all okay all right yo can I tell you about the most embarrassing amount of my life this weekend yeah alright so I go visit my nephew and meet in Philly right we go to have pizza nah I'm buggin we go to have Thai food and I'm like yo I want it spicy the waitress is like oh you sure it's really spicy I was like nah and I could take that [ __ ] make it extra spicy so I'm there in front of my brother-in-law and he's like oh where let me get extra spicy too so now we both have it spicy but now this is all sewed up you ready to get back so boom doctor put the extra stitch some in the food and like he's acting spicy and like come on back so now it's like I can't say it's spicy cuz I can't look [ __ ] in front of a but that [ __ ] was burning something like my nose stuff and all that [ __ ] so I'm cool I tough it out finished he's like just throwing it back like a robot not even though my plate if you were so so I'm driving home I'm like maybe thirty minutes from my house I don't know where blinkers on I pulled over to it was so fun because we're talking about Asians outside [ __ ] I mean it wasn't like so strong what the first baby you don't want another nice why are you talking about his sister that's so disrespectful I'm just saying it's a beautiful thing that's nice Jesus oh gosh so vulgar do you not want another niece and nephew oh sure I was gonna do [Laughter] [Laughter] you know the easiest position is safety I thought about that because I did think about that I did think about safety I know safety but safety I think will be the easiest for me to play why users in the back right so say it's all happen in front after happen you get there yeah you know yeah you know it's not good wasn't like just let people get catches in front of you say what you can't just give them the front other guys you got to be there to help out it's all your the last resort that's all you they're supposed to funnel like the corner by suppose a good quarterback supposed to funnel them to the safety so you both can make the play like you don't want to know ideal world you don't want to have your cornerback making those 101 plays all the time yeah so like it's actually your fault that being said if I was if I'm a corner it's easy like if I'm playing corner you only safety I would just take that guy go and rest [Laughter] do one less guy on defense in a dagger on offense that's how I would change football one on everybody how does that correlate you just don't need it it's not a lot of an extra gun off 13 and 11 that's not one-on-one say what yeah it would be fine it will be fine whatever I'm just saying you can learn any of those positions like talking I'm sure you like ball is like talking football with my girlfriend I think me and your girlfriend found the first thing that we have in common I did not back out back out what happened I didn't I didn't I don't know when the Mavs are playing the they were playing that week yeah but you have to reach out to me if I make you an offer Khalfan actually at 3:00 what do you want me to say I'm gonna try to make you look bad your sister making fun of me question yeah you are I know I'm gonna get the next card you put on a maggot head thinking about that dance all right so let's yes [ __ ] idiot oh I need to I need to I need to make sure we pay some bills up in here baby oh let's play some both guys you know one of the greatest sponsors in this podcast is sponsors one of the greatest honestly one of the greatest is blue Chu mmm ride it with us change um you know I mean really life-changing I can't tell you how many times I've been at shows in the recent past now that we drop the head Z Sutra and literally dudes are at the shows with their shorty and we all take a picture and then as this shorty walks away to do will lead up on me and hope you like you magic and Kareem don't talk magic agree no the blue chew is magic just serving it up and the Kareem is the one just get in the buckets that's the heavy suit you I'm beyond you the only Kareem I respect his hunt yeah I love that one you know it's way harder than a kick from Kareem a blue to dick anyway point is the podcast gonna be making these that's how you saw some blue yeah all I'm saying is blue true calm blue true but real talk let's get through this so blue to.com if y'all don't know what it is chewable give you that rock-hard dick and give your girl the night of her [ __ ] dreams is what we've been doing for all new listeners most of y'all know what time it is but we've been on the chew for a minute fraud a patron on people's you already know about the HESI sutra go out there and give your girl the nice at night of her life it's so a great comparison to that it's like sure you could see a carp with a regular but yeah I want to use preview don't you baby deserve that high-octane I'm not gonna lie I once filled a car up with 91 I think was 91 mmm by accident that feels like rape I've never been raped but that like realizing it as the [ __ ] is already going and pumping like the amount of Violation I've to lose that I didn't have 86 exact same Sun it's gotta be the same bro Trent my heart was fluttering bro I want to shower like just curl up in the showers like this I just have the water clean off those four points is not [Laughter] but yo man I'm being dead serious with you it's something I mean y'all already know how much we support the chu how much we [ __ ] with the Chu it's been so great to see y'all [ __ ] with the Chu and it just really go out there and have that for me having that backup strength knowing if I got to get it rocking again no sometimes I don't want to have it rocking in the morning but I choose something in the morning and I'll get going so it's that instant boner you make a pie me 20 minutes chew it up and is gonna come through but go to blue shoe calm and you can get that [ __ ] for free all you got to do is pay five dollars shipping its blue2 comm Chu is CH e W calm the promo code is flagrant you try that ship for free dog okay go get your [ __ ] let us know how it is try that [ __ ] with a desi Sutra and it's gonna be the night of you and your girlfriends let's get back to the show Akash talk to me man what we talking about you want to wrap up MEA trade deadline to be a trade season there's mad Trey's it happens anything interesting Gasol to the Raptors interesting bucks getting marital core whatever he says mercenary Kitsch is interesting faults is interesting volt we talk about Ronnie LeBron you know poor giannis was trying to win the playoff game and while LeBron is trying to win the offseason like John is really like yeah I'm winning this game LeBron and everybody knows this by now but basically like five or six of the people that he picked are free agents in the oil yeah he basically he's doing his tampering on the NBA's dollar it's beautiful like they find him 50 grand and now they're flying him to Charlotte so that he can have practices with all the people you find him to find the Lakers sorry they find linkers and they find Anthony Davis you know but still they're basically paying him to recruit LeBrons gonna have like a [ __ ] PowerPoint presentation in the locker room like I would enjoy Los Angeles free agents he picked on his team yeah clay yes Kyrie yes Kevin the right Kevin Durant Abbi boobers Anthony Davis James Harden those four right and there was one who's gonna be one uh after next year what about kowai kowai so the ones he has a realistic shot that we think are probably kawaii clay maybe no clay I think is a possibility bro I think it's a little slept on I think but man slept on possibility my man is we gotta we gotta say this LeBron is striking out hard right no we can't say this is genius tampering whatever without acknowledging he has [ __ ] up hard so far yeah not saying it won't work out but man I didn't like going to the Lakers when he did it and I'd feeling the same way now more so like you know what the genies are the pelicans the [ __ ] silky garlic in here I got two cute he got so cute with his hamper in man he got so cute like [ __ ] thinking like oh my bronze Oh everyone wants to play with me and Kevin Durant said this couple weeks ago he was like you know it's kind of a toxic environment being around with LeBron James all this other stuff and they killed Katie for it right but like it's kind of what he was talking about interesting interesting so this is what Katie predicted yeah I mean now I mean thank God Bridge on Rondo hood is the first-ever game-winner in Boston and like I guess winning cures all ills for t like the next and then it was necessary shot for like the team was it that necessary you got [ __ ] drum by 40 right after there I think I think and I completely understand where you're coming from but I think it on some level it was I know some levels like if we have a close game and we need to grind it out we can do it and things looking rough for them though this is a theory or just I heard it from one guy shots to Jay Kemp on the ticket that's my guy but he said his theory at least maybe it's a real theory but the bucks or nothing books the pelicans were so annoyed about the tampering of the Lakers they were like you know what [ __ ] you we're gonna make magic offer every one of your players for Anthony Davis no way we're not gonna trade him just to [ __ ] up your chemistry in your team environment and all the way you were gonna do to you what you're doing us we're not gonna tamper though we're just gonna make you offer anything with no no intention of the training him to you because [ __ ] a D and [ __ ] you and then there's a picture as soon as the trade deadline is happening of all of LeBrons teammates sitting four seats away from him LeBron alone on an island yeah I was like Andrew playing cornerback LeBron don't think you do either I'm not gonna hold you man LeBron you know you know we're big LeBron fans here oh yeah always big him up but like him magic and palinka kind of [ __ ] up in the newest music as you know more about this in me I just saw the headline we start recording yeah Lakers are in trouble again potentially for tampering with Ben Simmons yeah so those news that Ben Simmons kind of want to spend his summer like learning from legends and like you know kind of like [ __ ] that was what he wanted let's call it what it is well in the sports sense Magic Johnson offered himself well hey you know I'd love to go and sit and talk with Ben Simmons the audience on how the the finer things are being at all point guard whatever and like the timing of it is all wrong because the [ __ ] the championship that's already happened and secondly it's like Ben Simmons assigned LeBrons agency club sports mm-hm and it kinda makes magic seem like a [ __ ] idiot it's like even if you are gonna do this like it makes me seem like an idiot aides we spoke about that we mentioned right now you've heard so far yeah everything's good we're good shall we say believe in the [ __ ] idea and all that we're [ __ ] okay all right I'm always worried cuz you're making me feel a real prayer for your mom Sheila come on listen listen and everybody listening right now I know this sounds weird but I do believe in like a group feeling you know like when you have a home game for for your team and your team plays better is because you have 20,000 people all rooting for the same person at the same time so everybody right now you can pray along with us and put a little thought a good thought out there's a good positive energy out there for our crushes mom so Sheila's saying we are praying for you right now we wish you the best of health we wish you the best of wealth and we wish you the most happiness to recover extremely quickly from this small setback in your life and continue loving and supporting your son and supporting your son's friends myself included and your other son sorry to forget about him but he can be third in that list in that order and but we love you so much and we wish at the absolute best for you and and and and yeah that is absolutely it in God's name amen hey boy how would you say Amen in all seriousness man the best of most love going to opportunity I thought that was appreciate you you know I got mad love you wiping off sweat from your hands like it was it was my hands were sweaty [Laughter] Stadium at all I was thinking I was like damn Akasha is so small they are made to hold it the scale exactly like a fire hose dude drag aunt ism that never affects you in a good way No right it's always like your ear you're like no yes I'm sure like that yeah it was like head and hands I put the whole body gets gigantic yeah particularly hands and head I think there was a guy that those are the Russell that we had who had the same Arthur a giant [ __ ] but he got the surgery to stop it oh you could stop it now yeah his name was Laura Sullivan was right there in the suit that guy's Asian bro bro that guy's super ugly that looks like me that guy's so ugly man why don't you say that about me that guy is that what I look like I you look better than him but he kind of look like you go he does he looks like me I don't look like him yeah like if you were Bora that's how we look like really look alike when we're in the [ __ ] Europe I put it into like the tour dock but we're in Europe we'd go to like these historic shits and we were walking around the heinessen Heineken Factory and we've seen all the people that were instrumental in like making Heineken is global brands right so I look like literally all the only thing changes mustache link like back in the day would be a huge mustache and it got little look at this little [ __ ] Nexus do didn't see him you don't even have legs really those are his legs oh yeah that cave man I'm an adorable dog okay that little [ __ ] ever you want to go that's what your hands look like come on yo it has like Pikachu and like the evolvers and the Pikachu that's the humor bro I was watching his rope there's now hero so I was like his rap battle show like a clip of it and there he's got Brad he's a [ __ ] comic was named Brad [ __ ] little person yeah little person this fleiger to dwarf sounds WAY worse than a little person that's like a science it's a mythical creature that's not something you can call somebody yes you can you they want us to call them dwarves no there's a scientific like it's different from [ __ ] little people why is it like sleepy you have a [ __ ] a little person give a [ __ ] the little birds find little like a [ __ ] like what makes you a [ __ ] under 411 I [ __ ] a girl 411 I think like so she's the tallest [ __ ] that's yeah would you rather be the shortest real person or tallest [ __ ] yeah because you would clean up say that to peel only amongst your other dwarf friends King [ __ ] Shaq of midgets there's a one said there's a shack of midgets that guy looks like he doe got the answer like when you may sign right there look this is a difference Dorf is an extremely shorter doll who's less than fifty uh the word [ __ ] oh the [ __ ] refers to a person is very short but normally proportioned Oh so we're complement we man's a [ __ ] say what say we man yeah yeah he's like proportions the Nexus is now considered offensive in real use yeah they had a meaning you know what I mean wait wait so there's this [ __ ] that was doing the role but roses now rose battle us a rap battle rap battle show and Brad Steve Nazis Brad what the [ __ ] is his name is it funny Williams Williams yes funny comedian and so Brad Williams is going up against Nikki Glaser and it's like ruthless right but he for some reason Nikki said something about his arms being short and he goes yeah I can't jerk off standing up in that moment I felt bad for midgets again jerk-off standing up yes I'm in the shower will you sit down a shower it's nice they had a dangerous I mean it is nice that the option but I don't know so you could fall yeah that's true yeah but wait so we're you all jerk-off laying down yes so you just point at your face no yeah usually no that's just aiming at your own face all right I've jerked off in my bed before but I prefer to do in the shower because there's one stop shop but I understand a bad thing all I'm saying is he has to like like lay on his back and like bring his legs closer jerk off dude you know the move you said you do when you want to get your as Ethan where you throw your legs behind you that's how you juggernaut got a dick off talk to like that you gotta bring yoga and yeah that don't make you feel bad I won't call you a [ __ ] for that for that way so you know it's funny I could tell how much you love feet because you becoming on your own feet we're in Miami we this one who god of a girl's feet that we met that night like you don't remember that no family I was drunk as [ __ ] and this girl was hanging with us and any the hooker pipe with her feet no no she was at the strip club with us right and the shoes just hanging and family this is how you know I was drunk I was like yo I think yeah feet like mine nice nice little foot and I was like guys you got nice feet yeah that word showed me so they've got my shoes on I was like I got that and I just heard I took off the shoe and her foot was there that the hook was being passed around and I just placed the hookah in between her big toe and second toe second toe is proper I wouldn't have it look like chicken what is it chitlins are pork feet thank you what's the chicken feet that's just called you can cheat no it's called shake pig feet well I like the bony feet she had nice feet but you doing we just smoked Google right out of them shits thank you you just smoke yeah you just I was enjoying the strip clubs festivities yeah because way worse things so guys how's the Knicks down yeah I want to talk about to at the beginning is happening it's the beginning they took down one of my jokes from Instagram Instagram said it was it got took down an inside joke the first and not inside joke oh okay they took down one of my stand-up bits and it was a stand-up bit about women complaining about uncircumcised dudes right and the joke was that it was like how are you complaining about you know you know the Lexus skin is like [ __ ] looks like a bucket of foreskin I think that's what I said it looks like a jellyfish something like that but I was really just defending guys who get bullied essentially by these chicks for having a dick that is the way dicks are supposed to look right right I don't know how this [ __ ] clip could have been taken out I don't know what the [ __ ] was offensive about it but they took it down um I mean it's still up on Twitter and it's still up on on YouTube but it just goes to show they were popping out here I knew there was it was starting to get a lot of views yeah I saw it it was getting up around like 90,000 or some [ __ ] like that and I was like okay some things are going this is on Instagram this is only gonna help you I think that yeah what do you think it's like banning a book you take down videos you make you make yourself the dangerous comedian everybody's intrigued by that right and you got jokes oh it's gonna be there you're gonna it's whatever they when they go check you out they're gonna be like oh this is funny and the more they ban your [ __ ] the more you can put that out there the more people are gonna be upset your fans are upset by this they're gonna be telling me this do is my favorite comic they banned this joke this you're getting [ __ ] whatever look it up on YouTube oh hey let's look up other jokes on YouTube every time they make you radioactive it just makes you more powerful like [ __ ] superheroes dawg don't try to make me radioactive you just giving me powers that's a great that's the Society we made trump radioactive in [ __ ] matter dude that's a great [ __ ] point the best thing that ever happened I forever it's great though but yeah it was like it just gets me excited for for releasing the the new special March 3rd through the 30th we're gonna release every single Sunday and I'm just like this just shows it it's time the ecosystem needs it it just [ __ ] needs it like we're ready mo more people were upset that I got taken down then we're made upset by it you see what I'm saying yeah yeah like and that's how you know we're on the opposite end of the outrage culture right when the outrage is smaller then when the outrage about the stimulus is small is smaller than the outrage that it was taken down right and I'm just so [ __ ] excited for views for the sister drop man I can't wait for y'all to see this [ __ ] I just got another trailer for it I'm deciding when to put it out what put it out I mean this is it's it speaks perfectly to this it does right speaks perfectly to this no no cuz I seen it and it's like it'll tie in better to right before you're gonna release the first one what do you think I think you could I think you bringing it on the heels of this pretty perfectly but you know how much long you get three weeks so special drops I was gonna drop it the week before yeah so that's like a week yeah so I think either one is fine but if you drop it right now while there's heat on this getting banned it's it's space it out to lead right into the drop of it but you definitely want some the ride the momentum of being bad it is it is a crazy thing but it just shows that like we're in the matrix we're in the ecosystem and like everybody who's been [ __ ] riding with me and they believe you know what we're building here and the flagrancy and unsafe comedy it's like I'm starting to see the effects of it like all these people have been tweeting me this week about the Ray Romano special yeah you know and so Ray Romano did a Netflix special where he did two unannounced shows one at the Comedy Cellar and the one one of the Village Underground around the block and everybody's like yo Schultz Ray Romano stole your [ __ ] blah blah blah because I did four for one right where I did to sell her and and the village on the ground but I also did a couple other clubs in the city and it's like nobody's going I don't assume stealing ever right but what it is is what we're trying to see starting to see is like the influence of being in the ecosystem right like I put that video out over a year ago for 41 right right and now it's over a million views I think it's maybe up to two million somebody W is right and we're starting to see the things that have been copied from it right or just influenced not necessarily copy like Comedy Central legitimately copied it they made a show called thank you goodnight you can watch it on their digital and it's like I don't for what is it don't though don't promote it yeah I mean even if you try to watch it it sucks but it's like they literally copied the exact format of comics going around the city and doing it right and and then I put out the 15 miss special it was a few months after that Netflix put out to their 15-minute specials right right I put out the the four for one which was that the economy's hundred copies that I do this travel show that we did the exquisite version up in Boston and I'm pitching how I want to do it all around the world now Netflix is coming out with a Travel Show where a guy goes and looks at comedy around the world right so it's like the things that I've been putting out there in the ecosystem the ideas that I've always been pitching the network's but they never got on they I put them out into my world right and from that world they've reached the places that originally turned them down right right so it's like okay here's my influence here's what's happening now am i monetizing it like these guys are no but we're getting the views right we're actually affecting the people we're affecting the culture which is what I want to do I mean that's why views from the syste special is so important it's like what this will do and I'll say it on the show right now what this will do is it will flip comedy back to edgy material we're headed that way it will it will it will be the thing that goes oh we can be edgy again we can be say offensive jokes we can do all these things enough with the PC [ __ ] it will be like Hollywood you know you always say this but it's a race to who's second yeah it will be the first just like when I started putting out like even unsane unsane like inside jokes what we're doing what that show is about is about letting people understand what comedy is and how it's made so you won't be so upset at a joke that might piss you off right cuz you understand a process so it's like I just had to get into the [ __ ] ecosystem and it's so wild to see the effect that we've had like the way literal I'm watching ideas of mine that I've pitched the networks that said they weren't interested and I put out myself now they're [ __ ] copying them verbatim and doing shittier versions yes still it's like she used to bother you though it's good to see this is the success where you secure enough that it's like oh cuz it's it I have what I don't I don't need to be the original [ __ ] in the world I have the people to listen to this podcast I have the people who listen to idiots and I have the people who [ __ ] with me and I have joy and creating things for them that is the most satisfying [ __ ] thing in the world so we're just gonna get to the point where it's gonna be so blatant that these people are ripping off ideas that you won't support them mmm and what we're building here I I'm just so [ __ ] excited wait for you guys to see March 3rd I mean Peter someone's eventually gonna steal what we're doing with March 3rd or be influenced by it right and again this is just the networks that bothered me about it like all comics that you should that are listening right now you should see my like social media platform and like the way I put out content especially stand-up and a lot of comics have and that's a blueprint and you should use that if you're not using it you're dumb what I've done with stand-up and how I've shifted like from hoarding material for a special and putting it out there and using that as a way to get tickets and there's some comics I've noticed a lot in the comics in the city are starting to do it everybody's trying to create their own content and really go about it but this is the blueprint and it's for all of you right it's for all of us and matter of fact I hope that some of you find a way to improve it and then you share it back right this isn't the days of like we're competing with each other for eight Comedy Central specials a year now we have unlimited amount of specials because we can create them right so it's like I'm not competing for our cash for a spot on this one sitcom right we're creating our own [ __ ] sit down so look at exactly what I'm doing you should replicate it and improve it and then come back and tell us how do we can make it better and keep on pushing you know like realistically like the exact same networks they're no different than like NFL owners or NBA owners where there was it was a fixed system back in the day they didn't really need to put out good content nope right the Hawks didn't need to be good cuz where else you gonna go watch basketball in Atlanta right now all the sudden yeah we because social media you got all this other [ __ ] now you competing yeah right so now these execs of the networks who never not and some are very talented like AME super [ __ ] talented people there but some are not but now you're competing with us yeah and who knows content yeah better than the people that are created now we it's affordable enough for us to create our own content you think you're gonna beat me in content right that's crazy that's like saying you could beat someone in like football if you play one of the positions but like so what I'm saying is I love this game I love the fact that we're going at it because they're big bank right now yeah we're big ideas right right that's hot and I'll take big ideas over a big bank any day because you keep spending that money buddy yeah he's spending that money because we're gonna keep on creating mmm and you keep taking our [ __ ] or being influenced by our [ __ ] whatever we're just gonna creep on create a new ship watch somebody take inside jokes very soon watch someone very soon take inside jokes I promise or or do a very similar style show house just watch it just know we're even affecting the podcast world stuff when I made that trailer for brilliant idiots every podcast is doing trailers right beautiful beautiful trailer and the idea was to promote this like massive revelation the next day and it was a hilarious [ __ ] episode but it builds up some steam and now you see all these other podcasts don't know what's gonna happen tomorrow what's can drop we even did it with this podcast - we did we did it I think with Jackson's drugs a mouse a mouse right like we didn't do in the same epic fashion which I wish we did [ __ ] I think we did it with with at without when you came back from that's probably the first thrill trailer even when you know but just watching his reaction exactly these are the things that like it's just that we understand how we operate and that's why I love the competition is like for me it ain't David and Goliath right it's like if the internet stays the same if I have the same access to put some [ __ ] up on that Internet as someone else does we gonna figure it out right you know I mean like I I was just talking when I was on hyenas and he was talking about like because he has the hour special you guys should absolutely check out on Comedy Central's [ __ ] hilarious but like they did this whole day 100 different people there they filmed a promo for like the specials and they had all the four comics there and a hundred different employees and people setting up bagels and cream cheese and [ __ ] the Dunkin Donuts cardboard coffee shits that's yeah and like all these people there and I want you to watch it and then I want you to watch what we cooked up with for our trailers and Alex and I know exactly how many people filmed right like you just watch any watch any comedians trailer that's out right now and then you can go watch the trail that I put up on YouTube and then you'll watch this new one that I think is gonna take it to a next episode right now it's just coming down to it's just coming down to we're on the foot everybody has access to the court before we didn't have access to the court they held the court now everybody got access to the court you know and once you let us get access to the court bro once you let John is on it of court so what you gonna do who we gotta be Jonas I was gonna say anything important while we are building those like encourage people who want to be a part of this while we starting up yeah cuz it's like we have so much work coming like so many things coming down the line like the way I got started the way ahead and got started it's like hey you down to help hit me hit Andrew hit us up like we appreciate all out absolutely we had so many people reach out if the photographers and I think Jamil is gonna come meet us in in Charlotte Raleigh and I think might come to the Florida ones and he's oh I can get there I know somebody I was a yellow man if you want to do that I will give you opportunity you know we'll try to make and let me tell you some of you bring value you will get value word never I mean I spent okay but I tell you from the jump you know right so it's like if you can if you see something that you could help us with help us improve any that and if you if you have any expertise or at least some knowledge in a certain region that you think that we could do better holler at us man we won't improve we want to go at him we need your help because we don't got billions of dollars like Netflix you know I mean we got a lot of [ __ ] man-hours that we'll learn you know we got passion and we'll get behind it and we'll we'll [ __ ] fight tooth and nail to build this [ __ ] the thing is the Internet's just kind of even the playing field for everybody you know I mean like when we grew up there was only a handful of places you can see content like this and the fact that you could find it on your own create it on your own like it's just and that's what that's why that's why record labels don't know what the [ __ ] they're doing that's why these big TV networks don't know what the [ __ ] they're doing because you're like [ __ ] like they're not gonna out idea the people why they hire you yeah yeah like it was hired if I'm not mistaken by bleacher report because they're like this guy understands how to move the internet yeah help us move the Internet at Bleacher no that was almost your job description exactly yeah and and that's and that's what it is man like they can't that that little silo of people that you put in the company and I'm just being on both sides of it now like you could you can't out idea the world you know what I'm saying like it's not like it's me versus you it's me versus the 80 billion people with access to the Internet and how am I gonna do better than all these folks you know so like it's harder to continue to do that and that's why these places keep shrinking that's why the Netflix get so much money just hey throw it at somebody just we need ideas we need ideas we need ideas they're always creating so I mean it's it's it's just really love with the playing field and now they're between this podcast between your specials between everything that everybody else is doing you really don't need that machine to kind of be successful the Chris was just here you know I'm saying he has a Comedy Central special but he doesn't he didn't need the comedy special you know I mean like he was already kind of out here you guys listening or the Machine yeah yeah guys building this with us is what allows us to happen everybody supported on the patreon everybody listening it changes the [ __ ] game coming out to the shows it changes the game direct-to-consumer we cut everybody out and I'm telling you I notify view this now not because I'm like I need my credit or that kind of [ __ ] like that my credit is solidified when you guys [ __ ] with me that is all I need if you watch the Grammys yesterday it's kind of why people like Jay Cole so be super successful boom Drake came out there literally he wasn't at the red carpet was he good to perform he literally went to the award show just to tell people hey you don't really need this boom no I'm saying J Cole said the same [ __ ] on Twitter today didn't even didn't even [ __ ] submit his music for Grammy you know nominations or anything like that you don't need this [ __ ] he's one of those people who have food god I'm such a big fan of just because call J Cole yeah drink and listen I never get Drake his do so I admit that I also think this it's it Drake is a savvy savvy savvy [ __ ] yeah to win a Grammy and then go up and say hey guys you don't need this he submitted his music for the Grammys yeah but he's in the past not has he not yeah yeah okay I'll believe it and don't get me wrong I think he's savvy and he understands value in it but I think there also could be a good message even for him himself which is maybe in the future he won't win one but he's like the win ain't the gram yeah yeah the win is having to run mobilizes his fans he mobilizes his support system yeah that's all the [ __ ] you really need in this [ __ ] yo that's what I'm saying is completely that like when you guys see the effects of this [ __ ] and I only notify you guys of this right now so that you're aware that some of you do a lot of you message me every single day but y'all seen this this looked just like that this blah blah blah or you even see the effects of like flagrant two combos on regular sports media oh yeah right how listen every [ __ ] day IIIi will go through my follower list sometimes yeah and see like their BIOS like producer at ESPN a producer at Fox Sports producer of this TV show so it's like those follow cast outcomes for myself okay their jobs are literally to say what are people talking about so when you see our ideas get stolen I should just cancel my fault beauty is like and a lot of you guys notice it and I know you are protective of us and that's what's dope and I love that y'all fight these fights for us but like just know also for though just know that we are affecting culture we're literally moving culture were embedded in the ecosystem it's not like we're throwing pay in the wall and seeing what sticks we're the wall I'm saying and people are trying to paint on our [ __ ] that's literally what's happening yeah so when you see these differences know that you're intimately involved in them okay without you guys listening and spreading these shits and making such a big [ __ ] movement that you guys have made out of this podcast and allowing us to lead it into these certain sections that most people are afraid to go this doesn't happen you can't move culture so [ __ ] army massive respect to you guys massive gratitude right now maybe I'm just having one of these like real moments of gratitude but I have the same [ __ ] when I went to LA man I got I got some really great meetings like as soon as people knew how you're not anymore yeah phone's ringing off the hook they're like oh we love you on flavor to love you on this we love you on that and it's just like [ __ ] I was kind of holding myself back though it's like it's it's he'll be missing more episodes no I'm not this building is no [ __ ] it dude it's not a game telling you come March some people are gonna be pissed off some videos might get taken down because we going hard but it's good I told our guys I told the first LA sold out this is sold out the second one is in but uh I told my agents cuz they were like y'all want to can we reserve X amount of tickets for industry for industry and at first I told him yes and yesterday I just said I said no because I don't want anything from the industry you know what though that's that's actually what's gonna get their dick the hardest hey maybe but again maybe that's the case that's not my intention but it's this amazing space where it's like I would rather ten fans that [ __ ] with this podcast so much of the day I should get Thursday night off right be able to see that show with one secretary of a mid-level exactly you know what it is - you know what it is in a weird way and I come and I can relate to an acid mention the thing with the industry [ __ ] tickets I had a dinner in LA and sat with a lot of [ __ ] important guys yeah and they all came in turn at one point they all turn to me like you'll you're my favorite Twitter follower because you say what I'm not allowed to say anymore and I'm like you have to see these a [ __ ] it's one of those things words just like we're getting to that point where like people are tired of the PC [ __ ] I'm not saying there's not a place for it but it's like it's so overblown it'll balance article on the Atlantic about how like 75% of people are tired of PC [ __ ] yeah March third guy there's no balance March third we were pushing it in the other direction it's building towards it right it's like yeah I don't know what that game is where the the thing falls out from underneath right pick up sticks or so I don't know [ __ ] it is but it's like the ice is getting very thin and people miss skating on it and I miss getting on it and it's then you can hear it cracking here cracking and marched are we gonna break that [ __ ] with a [ __ ] Boulder it's gonna be really good yeah and just watch watch what happens in the years that come after that if you see calmly totally make another turn just know we're intimately involved in that happening we're literally the ones pushing in that direction it's that [ __ ] incredible so anyway thank you all so much for what y'all do that it anything else Cady's rant hadn't sent me something saying Russell Westbrook is 10 triple-doubles 10 straight I think that's Russell Westbrook man Zion block apparently was a big deal I didn't see it oh you didn't see that well maybe we talked about in the patron I think that was a good I was going that we could just cut that little part right there let's just end it after that right check out this weekend do some promos in the beginning well do we're gonna do an ad and oh cool so that being said again thank y'all so much for supporting what the [ __ ] we do keep it tight keep building with each other keep talking to each other go to the patreon join the community and really get the most out of the community man I'm telling you the people success is on your shoulders facts facts facts facts facts so thank you all so much for support what we do and peace you

Channel: The Andrew Schulz

Views: 103,218

Rating: 4.8225255 out of 5

Keywords: brilliant idiots, flagrant 2, podcast, comedy, comedian, stand up, sports, entertainment, pop culture, commentary, comedy club, near me, jokes, andrew schulz, andrew schultz, charlamagne, charlemange, breakfast club, interviews, chris distefano, akaash singh, kaz, style bender, kareem hunt, cleveland browns, nba, nfl, mlb, trades, yannis pappas, skullfuck, skull fuck, history hyenas, drake, cardi b, joe budden, joe rogan, jre, dj akademiks

Id: zE3uosc_7kA

Length: 150min 18sec (9018 seconds)

Published: Wed Feb 13 2019