FGHT Dallas: Personal Responsibility

you can be jumping [Music] i'm [Music] [Music] you give me joy [Music] [Music] oh come on and clap your hands everybody come on put those hands together that's crazy [Music] come on and lift those hands to the lord tonight hallelujah that's it praise him like he's so worthy to be praised for his goodness that he continues to show to us i know he's worthy worthy of all of our praise come on that's it hallelujah the world tells you to throw your hands in there and wave them like you don't care i'm not telling you that i want you to lift your hands and purposefully praise the god of your salvation like he's been good and like he's been working on your behalf like he's been turning things in your favor hallelujah hallelujah i said hallelujah hallelujah praise the lord come on clap those hands like something glorified [Music] thank you jesus thank you jesus what a great god a mighty god one that's worthy of all of our praise would you clap your hands for that testimony tonight and let's thank god for sister sanders amen from the garland location certainly enjoyed her tonight thank god for lady danielle amen and to this wonderful host of ministry and to all of you tonight my father's children god bless you thank you your seats in the presence of the lord what a fellowship what a joy divine amen i'm grateful to be in the house of the lord one more time i was glad when they said unto me let us go into the house of the lord amen and i'm glad to be here on a tuesday night amen a great big old tuesday night family night at full gospel holy temple amen mothers bring your daughters and fathers bring your sons and let us let us worship the lord together amen god is faithful to his word faithful to his people amen and we just need to know what it takes in order to please the lord amen so we come on tuesday nights and we come to hear amen what it is that god requires of us you know they're people even they've got a lot of requirements of god even a lot of things they want god to do for them but they are clueless as to the fact that there are things that god requires of us amen we love the idea amen of a religious experience that that has no responsibility attached to it amen we love a god whose only job is to give us whatever it is we throw in a tantrum about this week amen without regard to the fact that that same god has responsibilities of us amen and we come to delve into the word of god we want to know what it is that god is saying to us and i tell you amen we've been been been holding for the past couple weeks and and listen it is just absolutely amazing to me amen the response amen that we have gotten from our tuesday night services amen these past couple weeks and you know that just that just goes to show you and a good friend of mine always says the unlearned the unlearned is simply the untaught amen the unlearned or simply those that are not taught you have to take your time and teach people and you can't expect for them to just know this stuff amen because we come from varying backgrounds you got some people amen they grew up with two family uh two two parent homes they grew up uh some with a single uh parent home you've got some that were uh a very educated background you've got some that didn't have as much amen of an education you got others amen come from from different levels amen uh in in in society you got some that were well off some that that that scraped a man some that had to come up the rough side of the mountain and and when you talk about putting a family together he man you've got to take into the account even into account that there are people that didn't grow up like you grew up there are those that don't know what you know and you know it's so easy to be hard on everybody amen and and just paint everybody with the same brush amen but but there are people that just don't know they honestly simply just don't know and you can't get angry amen at people that don't know your responsibility is to teach and to help those that don't know amen find out what it is that they need to know in order to live successfully the life that god have called for us to live and that includes family life amen you know it's so easy to talk about people you do that before you know it but i mean before you know it you don't got all kind of stuff out of your mouth about people but you know what's not so easy but it's necessary actually taking the time to talk to people we can talk about this generation about how crazy and this is this is a listen this generation is almost walking backwards amen but instead of talking about them when the last time you talk to them try to mentor them try to tell them the better way to do things how to handle life amen it's not for us to just look back and and be commentators amen we got to get involved and try to help save as much amen as we can now some people are not already messed up amen and they know it amen they've already made their decision and they're living with their decisions but maybe there are those that haven't gone that far down the road yet and if i can help you i'm willing amen to tell you and i told you if god was bold enough to speak it and the writers of the scripture were bold enough to write it then somebody got to be bold enough to talk about it because out of all the stuff that god put he couldn't you know what god could have told us he could have told us about worlds we don't even know nothing about he could have told us and tried to describe to us he meant all of the things the mysteries of the universe he didn't even bother with that stuff but he did tell us all of this so this is obviously the important stuff this is what we need to know and so i want to talk to you tonight can we just pick up where we left off amen last tuesday and and and i promise you i won't be here no longer than the lord allows amen look at somebody and tell them neighbor there is a word from the lord and i am a lover of the word of god i love mine you got yours hallelujah come on hold that power up thank god because everything else is going down amen everything but what everything but the word of god let's go back to colossians amen colossians and the third chapter yeah i told you last week right behind philippians colossians chapter number three let's look at verses 12 through verse number 19. amen that's colossians chapter number 3 verses amen 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 and 19. you got it when you have it say amen read what the bible says put on therefore put on like you would a garment therefore as the elect of god as the elect of god you who have been blood bought and washed uh-huh holy and beloved uh-huh bowels of mercy bowels of mercy kindness behind this you know it don't cost you nothing to be kind boys we're dealing with some of the most unkind people amen folk let the dough slam in your face just unkind people got a handful of stuff you dropped something they look at you wondering how you gonna pick that up with all that stuff in your hand just unkind amen unconcerned real humbleness of mind humbleness of mind meekness meekness long suffering long suffering he said this is what you ought to put on long suffering that means to sup alone some of us don't want that long suffering amen we don't want to put up with we don't want to endure certain things we don't want amen things or trials or situations that we have with other people we don't want that to last no longer than the necessary and allotted amount of time when the reality is you got to be long suffering sometimes it's going to take people a little longer to get themselves together hey man but you know what you got to remember how long it took you to get yourself together what we got to stop y'all is forgetting where we were when we first came in amen and came to know the lord and the right way you had people that have prayed for us amen for 10 and 15 years and you got saved last sunday mad he ain't got saved yet people put up with you all of that time and amen and now you saved and been saved for a couple of weeks and a couple of months and you mad because you thought your husband or your wife was just gonna come in and run to the altar just because you got saved how long did it take you to get there amen sometimes we just hey man people are not bad people they just don't understand what you know you got to be long suffering be patient with people yeah let god do it he gonna do it amen you see we are the bible said he makes all things beautiful in his time read for bearing one another and forgiving one another that is and for giving one another you know why it says forgiving one another because we all gonna need forgiveness he didn't say forgive her he didn't say forgive him he said forgive one another because we all are going to be in need of forgiveness sooner or later forgiving one another and you know when you start talking about family life and things of this nature you've got a lot of people amen that are in that place right now the reason why the marriage is at a standstill it's because they just can't forgive i told you people love holding on to offenses they they like it because they're not ready to do anything different amen they're not ready to change their mind they're not ready to change their disposition so they're holding on to the offense amen so it justifies them rolling their eyes now but the question is what did they do to you today because you got some folk that is still mad about stuff that happened five years ago six years ago six months ago amen are you mad about it right now you're gonna let something happen way back then into you from being happy today what did they do to you today that got you angry that got you all twisted up because that means that they hadn't offended you today you reached all the way back five years ago to grab something to bring it into your presence just so you can be mad today forgiving one another if any man have a quarrel against any even as christ forgave you even as christ has forgiven you so also do ye he's talking about those that are saved now so also do you read and above all these things put on charity love which is the bond of perfectness and let the peace of god rule in your hearts to the which also you are called in one body and be ye thankful and be thankful read let the word of christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs singing with grace in your hearts to the lord and whatsoever ye do in word or deed we do all in the name of the lord jesus giving him thanks to god and the father by him read why why can we go again submit yourselves submit yourselves unto your own husband to your own husbands and i made the statement a couple of weeks ago amen don't you buy nothing else don't you give the pastor nothing else if you won't give it to your husband hey man you cooking pies stop cooking me all these pies hey man you don't cook nothing for your own husband hey man he's smelling stuff what is that oh that's the pastor's pie when the last time you cooked him a pie i need to go by them all i need to go buy them all what you're going for oh i got about a pastor gift got about a pastor gift now and when i said that i i guess somebody misunderstood i ain't behind the pastor nothing else he said i ain't getting him not i hate what i'm saying what i am saying amen is that you got somebody in your house you can respect you got somebody sitting in front of you you can boy look at y'all getting quiet hey man you don't you're going to buy the pastor hey man a tie and they bought that man nothing in a long time listen no no submit yourselves unto your own husbands amen when you when it comes to me you submit yourself to the word that i speak and the authority that god gives me through the word but that don't mean you can't submit yourself to your husband amen amen that's why a lot of folk are ruining their marriages now they're ruining them amen because they don't understand they haven't figured out yet amen but you got to submit yourself to your own husband now i believe that if you save and sanctify the world that's preached amen is going to govern everything you do i don't think you have to worry about that people that are saved and sanctified and filled with the holy ghost amen when it comes down to their marriages and their family life they're going to run it the way they hear it preach amen because it's backed up by the word of god amen you go everybody's going to be on board they've been making sure that we live and we do things according to the word of god amen but now you can't neglect to submit to your husband at the house and i said it before i'll say it again i don't care what you do in the church because you got some women ate up hey man they doing stuff hey man they thank god they they can speak hey man they they directed and and singing in the choir singing and on it and then get home because because his his ministry is not as as as boisterous and out front as yours you feel like you don't have to submit to him because i'm licensed let me tell you something i don't care what kind of license you have now i see y'all don't want me to talk about this kind of stuff on tuesday night i don't care how you preach i don't care how you sing i don't care what you do when you get done singing you still come subject to your husband boy look at him getting quiet overhead of my left [Applause] amen the bible says you submit ass unto the lord you don't need you sitting up here trying to talk to the folk amen about how to be saved and be in the will of god and then you leave churches sweet when you're in church and then go home and act like the devil in you submit to your own husbands hey man you falling over yourself trying to get something to drink for somebody else i mean come on he just looked there said he get this and your husband choking and you running all over the church trying to go get listen sit down my god as it is fit in the lord read husbands and husbands love your wives love you that means love is something you have the capacity to do well i'll be honest brother herman i just don't i just don't love her anymore the bible said love your wife and if that's what he says you have the capacity to love that one it's gonna be a long night you can do this look at somebody tell them you can do this whether it's submitting to your own husband whether it's loving your own you can do this read what he says and be not bitter against them and i got to thinking about that word you got a lot of bitter men who are acting out that's what's going on you acting out better towards her she did something you just have a problem with what she did and now you just have a problem with her and you're just bitter making her house and her home just a haven of conflict and and just i mean just all kind of chaos you are bitter she's trying to move on and move forward and you just bitter and you think you see see we we talk about women but they attitudes because you know women women can have some attitudes yeah they do yes they do they they roll a neck in their eyes for no good reason whatsoever anything else [Music] stop all that but you know what i found out men have attitudes too and ain't hardly nothing worse than an attitudinal man and sitting there holding on and stuff and can't get past stuff don't you know you're hindering your home your own house you're hindering the happiness and the stability of your home by being attitudinal well y'all don't got quiet enough and moving and being controlled by emotion after a while you got to set your emotions in order amen stop being so emotionally driven amen because your emotions change you've got to learn how to bring your emotions subject to common sense and the will of god don't be bitter against your wives i want to talk tonight about personal responsibility personal responsibility we talked last week and i told you amen everybody needs to pray and ask god lord show me myself [Music] show me myself and if we learn to take personal responsibilities we're going to get beyond some of this some of this can i say can i just can i just talk tonight some of this dumb stuff that's causing all of this division and and and creating such a great divide in marriages we can move beyond that stuff but you're not going to do that looking at everybody else sometimes you've got to take an assessment of yourself and ask god to show you where it is you stand in relationship to his will because even when it comes to your marriages god has a will for you you know you can be out of god's will based on something that you're doing in your marriage that's the reason why the bible tells us amen that when you don't do things right even the conflict and the division that you experience in marriage can hinder your prayer life you've got people asking god to heal them you've got people asking god for miracles amen they need god to step in and nothing is happening you know why because god is not the author of confusion and god will not move in a chaotic environment unless he's coming to say let there be light let there be order let there be this but if you're not trying to get god to come in and straighten it out god can't move in that kind of environment amen when god steps into disorder like he did in genesis 1 he starts commanding order to come out of disorder and that's what we've got to do we've got to look now to the lord and ask god to help us to see ourselves and where we fit and how we relate to his will you know what i and i thought about this let me let me hurry tonight i thought about this some people and i i talked to people and and these last few weeks have been very interesting because i've literally gotten calls from all over this country hey man i've talked to people who have been listening to tuesday night and this helped me and i don't understand this and what about this and you know everybody got questions because people just simply want to know but one of the things that i realized is that there are so many people that are divorced i'm not talking about from your husband as far as the judge is concerned you've got people that are divorced mentally they are divorced emotionally they're in the house but they're over it boy y'all getting quiet tonight they're there but they ain't there they they they see you they still got a ring on their finger but they are done they are over it they don't even consider this thing worthy of their faults worthy of their time worthy of their energy worthy of their efforts because it's not what they figured it would be and that's why i tell you before you get married the bible said if you're gonna build a tower sit down and count up the cults you've got a lot of people just had a bright idea about marriage and 90 7.3 of it had to do with sex they didn't realize all the other stuff that came along with that came along with marriage paid your stuff hey now that i'm saved if i'm gonna stay safe i gotta hurry up and get married because i don't know if i can hold my body i don't know if i can i can keep myself from going back there i don't know if i can survive so i better hurry up and get married because it's better to marry than to burn i keep telling you if you got a flesh problem marriage is not the answer to a problem with your flesh hey man if you got a problem with your flesh hey man you don't hurry up and jump into a marriage amen because the problem is that before you get married it's not going away just because you got somebody hey y'all don't get quiet enough hey man you don't jump into a marriage hey man thinking that a marriage is going to help you change no that's not what marriage is for you know what you got a whole lot of people amen that was struggling amen they were struggling with wrong lifestyles and you know what they said if i get married and i'm with a woman amen then maybe i'll get an appetite for being with women and i'll stop having an appetite amen for other men and so they jump into a marriage picking sex with a woman it's going to change their mind and their disposition and they don't realize lust is a spirit and you don't get rid of that spirit just because you stand at an altar amen and marry somebody the problem with lusty is he means you've got to get delivered from it you cannot get married amen and that be how you deal with lust because it will manifest itself even in your marriage amen so don't run to the altar because you feel like amen i gotta hurry up and get married before i fall back in the fornication you need deliverance so that if god don't bring nobody for another 15 years 15 years we'll still find you holy and holding on to god you've got some fog they're emotionally divorced mentally they're out of it it's not what they thought it would be and either they're out of ideas as to how to make it better or at this point they don't think anything can be done to change the direction of the way things are going right now they're just existing in the same space that's all just just agreeing to get along they're not really in a in a in a biblically uh uh covenant relationship that involves their will and their hearts and their mind they're just agreeing to stay together and get along and you've got some people and they say stuff like this we just still together for the kids well ah we don't love each other how do we like you but now we can stay together for the kids what kind of foolishness is that stand together why so they can see a loveless relationship so they can see a chaotic environment listen you got to get yourself together i don't care hey man what the problem has been i don't care he meant how chaotic things have gotten you can screw up another generation because you're too selfish to get yourself together because they're learning and i said all the time children are always the unintended victims of broken homes they're always going to suffer in ways you didn't plan and sometimes people are divorcing because they're selfish and all they're thinking about is themselves and i deserve to be happy but what about your 19 kids that's sitting there looking at you see and it's the devil that comes to steal kill and destroy and what he's trying to do he's trying to destroy your legacy he's trying to make sure that the next generation of johnsons and smiths and and and this one amen the next generation won't have nothing to look forward to because he's torn you up hey man and now that's the example that they're going to follow and you don't even realize you just taught them how to handle family life when they grow up they didn't intend to learn it you didn't intend to teach it but that's what you're doing there's no love now there's only an agreement that we're going to be unconcerned about each other but we'll still be cordial do what you do i ain't asking no questions i'm gonna do what i do don't ask me no questions and we'll just just agree to be cardio with one another and when they've tried to talk about it things went south real quick that's why people just throw their hands up they don't see a solution and you've got people now they don't see a solution and you know it's just the enemy that's blind in your mind because you'll come to this prayer line and ask god to heal you of cancer ask god to make a way ask god to reverse evictions and i mean you can believe god for all of that but when it comes to your marriage we're just just incompatible and that's what you write on a decree we're just incompatible now god can do all of that and you believe god can move mountains you believe god can dry up tumors but you don't believe god can keep your house you don't think god can save your marriage you don't think god can keep you in a loving committed relationship what's wrong with this picture why are people so divorced now mentally divorced emotionally i'll tell you it's because they don't know how to handle each other while they're disappointed something happened that disappointed you and now you don't know how to deal with that you don't know how to love somebody and be disappointed by them at the same time but you stood there and you said before god and these witnesses for better for worse richer and poorer in sickness and then health forsaken everybody else until death do us part but now you didn't know how bad bad could get so now you're disappointed because they did something or something happened and now you don't know how to process that you don't know how to handle that balance being frustrated and disappointed and at the same time still loving them and trying to maintain a relationship and so because you don't think you can be disappointed and still love them you're ready to tuck your tail and run so now you've got people just they're just just just it's easy to just cut my emotional tie or cut my and so now they don't care you can fall out in the flow they don't care they have no mind nothing in them says that's somebody you should be concerned about now you're just an inconvenience for them that they can't do nothing about yet and so you've got those that are just divorced because they're disappointed and they're frustrated and that is a challenge the challenge now is to love and honor and cherish and respect and maintain the connection while you deal with disappointment because it is sometimes it's going to happen but things just don't line up the way you felt like they should everybody's not going to agree agree 100 percent of the time but now you've got to understand there's a bigger picture than just agreeing all of the time boy y'all show getting quiet now you know why people are disappointed they're disappointed because this thing ain't turning out like they thought i sincerely believe nobody goes into a marriage to get divorced don't nobody go to get married just so you can get divorced no i'll tell you what happens over the course of time you get disappointed because what they did to get you they stopped doing it after they got you oh they worked so hard to get you and once they got you they took the foot off the gas and now y'all just drifting and coming in slowly stop talking to you in a loving way you know people talk having pet names for you before before y'all got married and and and all kind of stuff you were poo and you weighed 270 pounds and you were 270 pound poo that woman calling you are you just just a big old teddy bear come here poo oh really pool now they don't call you nothing all of that wonderful warm atmosphere you enjoy it before you got married and now that they got you that's over with that's done and now you're frustrated and disappointed because they worked so hard and you thought that was going to be your story forever you were gonna always enjoy that type of atmosphere but things have changed and now you don't know how to deal with that you don't know how to deal with that before before he married you he was courting you constantly see that that's the reason why you got to go into this thing realistically that's why you got to stop being so quick hey man to grab people and run to the altar you got to make sure you really know people because people will put on for you while they're trying to get you and can i tell you later some a man will become whoever he needs to become to get you and once he got you then the real him is coming out you got to make sure that he really the kind and send them kind of text messages where are you are you in yet call me when you lock the door call me when you set the alarm where where are you are you safe let me know when you get that all right and that's the hook that he put in you and once he gets you you can call and i just gotta wreck you right ain't coming and now you have come to a realization you got married thinking that clark kent was superman and found out that superman was nobody but clark now you're disappointed it's fine if you level up but once you level off a level down then what do you do when this ain't who i who i thought they were now your marriage is falling apart because he's not courting you consistently like that that's no consistent courtship y'all help me out here amen there's no consistent courtship like that amen and now you're disappointed because he's somebody different and now he only caught you um when he wants some do benevolence [Laughter] that's how he's so nice to me today he wants some benevolations now you're feeling used because he ain't got nothing to say all day every day but then when he wants to benevolate now he concerned how long is he going to be up now you're used and you feel used and you're disappointed and so this marriage is chaotic it is literally falling apart and everybody now is feeling like a victim now because we've been offended we have defended ourselves we put up our defenses when they offend us we go into defensive mode and now we're just trying to survive but then after a while people get tired of always being on the defense and now in order to feel like i'm not being taken advantage of to feel like i'm not a sucker to feel like i ain't gonna let this woman punk me to feel all that now you gotta offend her you got to be the aggressor because you're tired of always being the one that that's receiving the offense and dealing with it and putting up with it and now you feel like he always doing something and now it's your turn because now you got to make him feel some of the pain that you're feeling and maybe then he'll learn how to treat you better that's not the way the bible says husbands don't you be bitter against your are y'all listening to what i'm trying he said don't be bitter against your wife and i'm telling you now men know how to apply pressure he knows it he knows that a woman amen is more in touch with her emotional side most times than men are so what he'll do he'll try to fight her emotionally i listen uh to emerson hegarics in his book dr eggers when he talks about love and respect and he talks about how that that's the way we we we we gain each other and build each other up husbands love your wives wives submit which means to respect the authority of your husbands that's the greatest gift we can give each other is love and respect but those are also the greatest weapons we can use against each other a lack of love and a lack of respect and husbands are not exempt because men know how to apply pressure oh you know she's reaching out and she needs some kind of emotional connection with you that's what she wants to feel sure she can lay down with you but but that doesn't mean she felt a connection to you and so you know what men do men will walk around the house and ignore you they'll treat you like you're not there knowing that you're reaching out for it and he'll he'll sit there and he'll use that as punishment as a torment to you just ignore you you're not even worth his attention at that point and he ignores all of you you walk in front of him he's looking around you talking to him and he's talking at you but he don't even have to make eye contact with you because you're not worth his time and attention the bible says husbands don't be bitter against your wives boy y'all show getting quiet on tues you're acting like she's not even important enough for you to notice her and woman shame on you for using weapons against this man you already know that's wicked he made you mad you know how to get him back he come home at seven o'clock you got a turtleneck on up under your house coat with that sick scarf wrapped around your head brothers if that sip scarf is only seven go get you a v8 and take yourself and not come back and try this again tomorrow cause it ain't gonna happen captain you can't use that as a weapon against nobody you don't control nobody with with with do benevolence now y'all laughing i have committed myself to using that term so that i don't get in trouble do benevolence i better stop and somebody walked around there with his shirt on and said do benevolence but you know what what i found what i found out is that you can't change people as much as you want people to change and be better and want them to stop fighting you and using these weapons again you are powerless to change anybody the only person you can change is yourself through the help of god that's all all you can do is take personal responsibility in a relationship uh we talked about it and i said it last week you know when uh when when when when jesus said at the last supper and he talked to the disciples and he said to them well my time is going when he said to the disciples one of you is going to betray me it's the devil i told you matthew didn't say it's got to be john lord is it john john never said is it peter nobody asked was it was it somebody else andrew then didn't stand up and say lord who is it that one over there you can tell me which one is that i'll get him for you everybody at the table the bible says one by one begin to ask of him lord is it i is it me am i the one that offended am i the offense in this relationship am i the one that's causing the prop where am i in relationship to your will am i just putting on am i pretending is it me i don't think it's me but if you know something i don't show me and you know what that's tantamount to it's telling them out to her sin shine your light on me and if you find anything tell me i want to know where i am in relationship to your will and you don't have that now nobody wants to take personal responsibility but what we want to do we want to change everybody else thinking that if we change them we change our situation but the reality is it's not them that needs to change and for some of you sitting tonight if you change you you'll change your situation you've got people now i'm telling you this is this is this is something we got to deal with hey man because again you're not going to force nobody to be different even people have to value you they have to value you and like i said they have to see you as somebody if i don't be with you until death do us part then that means i've got to know that i value the kind of a relationship that we have that makes me continually assign on every day that this is the situation i want and you know what i'm going to do i'm going to be the best me i can be for this situation well y'all don't got quiet now i said i want to be the best me for this situation and that's not just spiritually hey man because you know you got a lot of people just want to be the best spiritually but dude can i can i just take a tangent here i want to be the best me hey man not just spiritually physically see you go you're talking about stuff like that and people start getting offended but he didn't marry me for looks that didn't give you no excuse honey you didn't marry me for no looks but that don't mean you can't look nice now y'all getting quiet again i'm just i'm trying to tell you amen we all going to change can i can i you go if you married for all that other uh uh uh uh trivial stuff you're gonna be disappointed after a while because all of us gonna you know i weighed 170 when i got married in a year's time i went up to 190. wait till you hear this one stepped on a scale the other day i was 220 pounds i know y'all ain't saying no who [Applause] i weighed 120 pounds i've gained 50 pounds since i got married some of you looking around trying to well let me see who who bought it let me tell you something cause you can't walk down the beach and compete with nobody either so she can put up with you boy y'all getting quiet no don't nobody want to talk and hear what i'm saying i'm not saying because because i'm not saying you got to be skinny because i ain't skinny i just hold it in while i'm in church how to learn how to how to keep it together while i'm in front of y'all i get home and believe me it's just me this hey man i'm 44 now anywhere in the world i can compete with some 21 year old i ain't crazy i'm not listen that ain't even me no more i ain't trying amen amen i i go to the gym i'm still taking therapy for my back and trying to keep that together i i ain't trying to go no competition wait those days are behind me i'm trying to be healthy not skinny ain't nothing wrong with me wanting to straighten out myself and keep myself together and ain't nothing wrong with you doing it either you ought to want to be helped boy y'all don't got quiet well he ain't marrying me for my look that don't mean you can't look nice amen i don't know something going on he act like he got a problem with me no that ain't it amen but you ought to want to be the best you you can be for the situation boy y'all don't got to i'm just trying to tell you ain't nothing wrong with exercising ain't nothing wrong with getting your hair done ain't nothing wrong with that hey man i'm going to the dentist well it's just me no that ain't fair come on now hey man we put our best selves on when we were when we were courting and trying to get married we we always had clothes our clothes were ironed we were washing our cars doing all of that now this man come home and your house smell like the locker room i mean come on we you never did that in the pursuit of a person boy now y'all getting quiet talking about you hey man but now that we got him we don't care about ourselves we don't care about our environment hey man you to never let nobody see your living room looking like that you would have never had anybody come to your house and say can i use your bathroom and let them go in your bathroom with all this stuff everywhere you to never let that happen now you got mushrooms growing in your bathroom and you don't let me get off of this come on back look at somebody say personal responsibility i'm just trying to help somebody you know what you want to do when it comes down to conversing because conversating is not a word when it comes to conversing what we got to do is have healthy conversation and i'm going to tell you how it goes off the rails because when we talk we want to tell people everything's wrong with them i just need you to sit down and listen to me before i say listen to me and what you want them to do is give you an audience so you can get everything off your chest i didn't like it when you did this you did that you did that i don't like this about you i don't like that about you your mama knows it and this and i don't like her and all this stuff and this and that and that's what we want people to sit there and subject themselves to and so we want them to sit there and shut up while we offend them with all of our words and don't want them to say nothing about it to us that's offensive but if you really want to help the conversation can i tell you how you got to start this conversation now what is it that i can do what can i do to make this better tell me what it is that i can do to make this better that way when they start talking you don't have no basis to get offended because you ask them for the information that they're about to give you now you welcome this conversation you invited all of these different elements in the conversation so now you can't get you ask them what can i do and that's always a better situation than somebody pointing their finger in your chest telling you everything they don't like about you everything you did wrong because if that's your conversation no wonder it's flying off the rails nobody wants to be the one that gets all the blame but none of the credit so you telling me they they all bad is that what you're telling me your wife is all bad ain't nothing good about it so you don't have nothing good to say but you want to spend your time telling her everything you don't like about her everything that displeases you there's nothing good about her is there nothing good about your husband nothing at all you mean you can't compliment him at all but you can always talk about the stuff you don't like the stuff that he's not doing right all of the you know what you got to learn how to build with your words we're good at tearing stuff down but you got to learn how to build up use your words to to strengthen people i used to hear apostle murray say that all the time he talked about the time he didn't have a job got laid off and he had little kids and he talked about how even the milkman would come they had to tell the milkman back in the day when the milkman still brought milk to the house and bottles and he would tell him i can't pay for this and the milkman would say listen you got small children they need milk just take it and that whole winner gave him milk for free because he needed it and in the springtime when he found work he went back and paid that man every dime he owed him but i used to hear him talk about how there would be times when he could he would come home and didn't have anything at all didn't have much for the family and he and sister murray would feed the kids and they would act like they were not hungry just just sit there at the table and not eat he said but the one thing she never said was that if you can't do no better than this i'm going back to my mama she always encouraged him and told him god's gonna make a way that's the kind of relationship that builds we should be building in our relationships not tearing each other down with our words and with our rhetoric so when you inquire as to what i can do then you invite people to talk to you about you but you can't get offended because you ask them let's talk about me tell me what i can do and you know what you got to do be temporary in all things because just because they asked you don't mean that you dump your trash can well i'm glad you finally asked me because i've been waiting to tell you everything that you can do see you about to mess something up the bible says be temperate your words are to be few and they ought to be seasoned with grace you got to learn how to talk to people and have those hard conversations and still say what you need to say through love and so it takes the offense out of conversing and so again things won't change until until you change we talk about what we need man can i tell you what she needs she needs a man to be a man that's what a woman she just needs a man to be a man because a lot of this disappointment just lies in the fact she had expectations that she could feel safe around you that she could feel protected around you and sometimes when we're not men and we don't take care of our responsibilities we expose them to a lot of stuff that they thought we were going to shield them from they thought they were going to be covered and protected but instead they ended up exposed because we were not we were not men we i told you you got to be more than the man in the house you got to be a man of the house and this woman won't won't deal with a lazy man a godly woman with an idea of what a godly man is supposed to be she could never be satisfied with a lazy man like that that's not fulfilling the scriptures she knows what the bible said a man ought to do and so daily she's comparing what she's seeing to what the bible said a man ought to do and a godly woman that knows what a godly man is supposed to look like he's never going to be satisfied with a lazy passive man this woman wants a man that's decisive hear me she want a man that at least has an idea of where he's going what he wants to do but one of the uh most most prevalent complaints that i i've had in counseling is when women say he acts like he don't have no clue what he want to do with his life 35. don't have no career barely have a job at 35 because he keeps quitting he quit this one and had good benefits and he waited until he had four kids and now he want to sit down at the house just walked off of this job i feel like god calling me to preach so you mean you're going into full-time ministry and i ask you how how many times you preach last year oh about two or three let me tell you something i don't know what you heard about ministry but two or three times a year don't warrant you going full-time ministry if you have to run revivals and work you do that until ministry can sustain you and your family i don't care what nobody say god is not giving you a pass well look at y'all getting quiet and you claiming that you're in ministry but you can't even buy food for your family because you're sitting at home waiting on somebody to need an emcee or need a revivalist or need somebody you had harder boy y'all don't got quiet now we got a whole lot of out of order men hey man they want to preach but they don't want to sustain their family cannot tell yourself this woman need a man that's going to protect her a man that's gonna provide for her and you can call yourself a minister all day long but if she's starving and your kids are sitting there even hungry because they ain't got nothing to eat it's not making you a man to sound full-time in ministry it's making you old what the bible called them worse than a what and for doubt if a man will not provide for those of his own household the bible said he's worse than an infidel this woman needs a man that knows how to take care of business in more places than that back room back there and if you can't be amen that kind of man a godly woman knows what a godly man is supposed to look like she can't be satisfied with somebody as passive as that no no you you you got to be the aggressive person in the relationship aggressive in the respect of your desires to lead the family in a godly way because she has to see you as somebody worth following she can't follow a man that has no mobility a man that has no movement and you're sitting here he meant 35 years old and you don't have 10 jobs because you just you shove it to walk off of them so now she's trying to raise a family and every time you get a good job you quit it and you got to go right back to minimum wage and build yourself up all over again can i tell you something when you got six kids at the house forget about who don't like you on your job you're not there to be like if you got to deal with attitudes and people that hate you you got to suck it up hey y'all don't get quiet here and and do hardness as a good soldier and at the end of the month bring your money home and support your family that's what she needs she can't hold on to somebody that don't fit the bill of a godly man you can't be dependent on her to make all the decisions for this house you got to have a clue where are you taking this family where are you taking us in five years where's your family gonna be what are you to do in the next six months you got to have a clue and for you to sit there and not have a clue and you following her lead how does she respect you when you're following her lead you you can never make a decision you let her make all the decisions because you're too scared to stand up and be a man well it's whatever you say what kind of man are you you can't be a man and tell her it's whatever you say stand up and be a man you can't be so afraid to fail that you're not standing up doing what it is you need to do let me hurry up my time is gone and you know what kind of woman this man needs he needs a godly woman he needs the kind of woman that he can respect that can respect him in this covenant relationship you've got women now that have never seen a man take the lead role in the family their mothers were always there fathers nowhere around and so you got some women trying to come into a marriage now they never seen a man sit out in the front of a family and so now they're married and they're scared to take their hands off and let you leave because they've never seen them they're not used to man being in the leadership role and so now she's got to be the aggressive one and listen let me say this to you sisters if the man that you say you love you can't trust don't marry him because you can't be in a covenant relationship and come subject to a man and submit to a man that you feel like you can't trust i gotta pay the bills because if i don't pay them i'm scared that we don't get put out i'm scared that this i'm scared that jimmy evans in his book hey man was writing about that i was reading it today you got a lot of women that are bound by the spirit of fear even in relationship that's what keeps them being the aggressor because she's scared that things are not going to turn around scared that he's going to drop the ball scared that he don't know what he's doing scared that i can't trust him listen you got to rebuke that because the bible said you submit to your husband and you can't submit to nobody that the enemy has plagued you with fear about their ability to leave this house i don't care if he drops the ball you've got to let a man be a man and stop cuddling him amen and stop trying to keep him from even making the mistakes that's going to make him better amen sometimes he has to go through some things and he'll learn the lesson going through some things but you can't complain that he's still just a little boy when you keep acting like his mama let him grow up let him pay the bills let him pay the rent let him manage to y'all getting quiet here can i talk to somebody because if not you're working against yourself because he's going to get tired of you always trying to tell him what to do so he needs somebody that can respect him in this in this covenant relationship and that's not always an easy thing because some women are scared but then i also found out some women are scarred they're still dealing with what somebody else did wrong that's the reason i keep telling you i don't believe in all his boyfriend girlfriend stuff i don't i don't believe in that i believe that god created us amen he created us to be in cover relationship and we're going to find out who that is that we're supposed to be in covering a relationship with and once we find that out then that's and i tell them you know you got people now i just if there's anything wrong with us going out and being boyfriend and girlfriend i'm asking are you are you thinking about getting married well not right now why would you want to get that close to somebody and you ain't thinking about getting married see i don't care what nobody say boys and girls nature has determined that boys and girls are attracted to each other now i know people go against nature but nature have determined that boys and girls are attracted to each other and that's why you got to watch it you get that close to each other hey man of you well we ain't doing that oh no we we don't have this how to do nothing or we saving sanctified and you're riding down the street and you just talking ha ha ha ha you stop and you look over there and the street light shining just right on that face and now some doesn't click never been there before but you look on the light just caught them right at the right moment and then you just we just we just having fun listen can i tell you something that's dangerous that's dangerous you're not listening time is too short and your life and your uh you're too valuable for you to be spreading yourself around like that amen that's why i don't believe in it because sometimes people are scarred like that they get used to this one then they break up get used to that then they break up get used to this one then they break up and you got 18 year old 17 year old girls sitting up there treating the breakup like it's a divorce i can't believe he left me for her that's a boy you're a girl you are not even be going through that kind of trauma and so now you're married and treating this one like he that one because you scarred now some people learn lessons they never intended to learn they never intended to internalize this stuff and make it a part of this but they did so what you got to do as a woman of god you got to pray and ask god to help you to bring yourself subject i don't care i don't care what you think about him well i'm scared he gonna do this i'm scared he gonna do that listen you gotta be able to grow together nobody's going to come into this thing knowing everything that they they're going to know 10 and 20 and 30 years down the line you've got to learn he will never ever learn how to take responsibility as long as you're still smothering him let him grow up and be a man if that means facing consequences maybe that's what he needs in order to be better for you next year than he is this year let him face his consequences but respect him as the head of this house and the man is still the head of the house as christ as the head of the church you know what you have to do i was reading today they talk about how relationships are what they call dependent codependent relationships and how men depend on the dependency of the wife and so he depends on that that helps him to be strong and that helps him to move in a leadership role when he can look over and see somebody depending on him to be the leader and then when he looks and sees her depending on him then he can move into that place and she needs to see somebody that's dependent upon her dependency we make each other better we're supposed to build with each other in 20 years after you've been married 20 years you ought to be look at something that you built together but you'll never do that we're not taking personal responsibilities you can't change nobody you got to determine to be the best you that you can be for this relationship and god's going to help you to do that i don't know nobody that says i want to go to heaven and i want to do it god's way i want to be in the will of god and who will openly rebel against what god has declared if god spoke and identified our roles and our responsibilities i don't care what the times say we gotta line up with the word of the lord we got to grow together husbands love your wives don't be bitter against them don't hurt them don't punish them because you've been disappointed wives submit to your husbands as it is fit in the lord let's grow together be the best you you can be for this relationship don't punish him uh with with all of this these weapons that we use against each other submit to him and i know this this without this uh the feminine movement you know first it was uh uh uh we as as uh we don't need to do things the way men do it and then they move to we don't need men and now they don't move to we can be men it's just it just it it didn't stop and what they did that that that made men and women uh uh so opposed to each other you know that relationship that that movement and i get it you know you got someone i don't know how to do this i know how to what if you that independent didn't stay single but now if you don't jump over into a marital situation you gonna have to come subject and if you don't think you can don't get married because to do so means you find yourself outside of the parameters of the will of god men instead of be a man that's what david told solomon before he died be a man be a man be the man she needs you to be amen be that kind of man you ain't at the gas station and the brothers see you and blow at you you sit in the car waving at the brother and your wife out there pumping gas stand through your feet you you gotta you to be a man hey man this is cold outside and she out there pumping i was at the gas station and i got through pumping my gas i ain't see the woman a woman behind me said excuse me you gonna let me pump this gas i said no ma'am i got it i went pumped up raining outside you gonna let me pump this gas you got to be a man be a real man be a godly man be a submitted woman be a godly woman and i know that kind of language boy you start talking about wives admit boy this generation a woman can do what a man listen i don't care what you say hey well i'm gonna do what a man do you know sir [Applause] don't kick against it because society has gotten away from these principles that's why things are as bad as they are now because people got away from this and people are saying oh girl you you ain't got to submit and i was sitting there and you know i was looking the other day at some papers that i had and they even talk about how architecture is sexist women are now complaining about kitchens being being in the house and the way kitchens are designed that's sexist i was trying to figure out how can architecture be sexist kitchens look too feminine a woman's place is in the kitchen that's just too feminine listen don't you let this new age stuff ruin your home it take a man and a woman and they can't do the same stuff i don't care what nobody tell you ain't no woman can compete with no man not being a man and no man can compete with a woman about being a woman i don't care what society cause you know now you got drag queens trying to teach women how to walk in in hills and walk down runways and all that stuff how man gonna teach you how to i don't care what society says that's why stuff is as messed up as it is right now we better get back to doing it the way the bible said and if we do that we'll be okay every head bowed every eye closed if there's somebody here tonight and even if your need has nothing to do with marriage i want you to come amen if you're not saved tonight you don't know i'm in the pardon of your sin i want you to come is there one here tonight maybe you need the holy ghost what a great night to come to know him in a saving way everybody's well tonight everybody's well lift those hands and praise him would you [Music] i mean really praise it father amen god bless you take your seats momentarily we thank god [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] you

Channel: Full Gospel Holy Temple

Views: 13,884

Rating: 4.9163761 out of 5

Keywords: full, gospel, holy, temple, Bishop, Herman, Murray, Jr, Apostle, Convocation, holiness, god, jesus, heaven

Id: OKNGuBWY1KY

Length: 84min 15sec (5055 seconds)

Published: Tue Sep 21 2021